Outside, the sky began to turn pink as massive formations of inexplicable cotton candy clouds began to form and merge together.
Inside, however, there was mostly running and screaming and rhyming, and quite a bit of the word "Trixie," spoken by both involved parties.
"Leave Trixie alone, you rhyming psycho!"
"Playing hard to get? Stop your teasing, Trixie, my pet!"
And so on, in circles around and around the room.
Trixie had been running an awful lot tonight, and, despite the brief, nightmare-tortured nap, had not had very much chance at all to rest. She was physically, mentally, and magically exhausted.
Zecora, in contrast, was driven onward by the fanatical zeal of desire, and seemed tireless.
So, in that sense, it was surprising that Trixie was able to run for as long as she did.
Of course, it was also not surprising at all when her weary hooves finally tripped themselves up, and she fell over.
Trixie could see Zecora approaching, looking as much like a lion as a zebra. She backed herself up, scooting herself as far away from the crazed striped stalker as possible, until her back was up against a wall.
Zecora leaned over Trixie, putting her forehooves against the wall, on either side of Trixie’s head, and leaning in close, smiling insanely.
That was when Twilight returned. The door opened. The purple unicorn stood, framed by the doorway, taking in the sight before her eyes. Trixie’s heart soared! She was saved! Then, her heart plummeted. She was saved… by Twilight Sparkle. Of course.
“Zecora?! How did you- GET AWAY FROM HER!” Twilight’s horn lit up, preparing for action.
Reacting with astounding quickness, the zebra turned, produced a small vial from inside her mane, and threw it to the ground. There was a bright flash, and hazy smoke filled the air.
Twilight coughed. “Where,” cough cough, “Where did she-” and then Zecora had Twilight in a tight chokehold. Twilight struggled, and lit her horn up again to get the zebra off of her.
THWACK! Zecora swatted Twilight’s horn with a hoof quickly. The glow disappeared.
“OW! MMMF!” Twilight said. It felt exactly like when she had shut her horn in the door once. “OWWW!” she said again.
Trixie gaped. Well. This was not going well at all.
“Stealing my Trixie, you bad, bad Twilight?” Zecora whispered, threateningly. “I think it is time for you to say goodnight.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wait, Zecora! Don’t!” Twilight said, starting to turn a little bit more purple than usual.
Trixie knew she had to act fast. But what to do?! Trixie’s eyes searched the room desperately for inspiration. Books? No. Cape? No. Desk? No. Table full of alchemical supplies? N- ...hmm.
“Trixie belongs to Zecora, you purple rat! I’ll make sure you never forget that!” Twilight tried to push the zebra off of her, but couldn’t break the headlock. She tried to make her magic work through the throbbing pain in her horn, but it wouldn’t come. She couldn’t breathe. Had it really been only a few hours ago that the three of them had been in this same room, exchanging gifts, and having tea and cookies? A tear rolled down Twilight's cheek.
“Zecowwa!” Trixie said, loudly. Both Zecora and Twilight looked up to see Trixie, now standing and facing them. Though she had spoken with confidence, her voice sounded... odd. And her cheeks were slightly bulged out.
"Zecowwa! Weweaf Twiwigh vis insfant!"
Zecora cocked her head to the side in unvoiced confusion, and replied "I cannot release this one, Trixie! She poisons your mind my love, don't you see?"
"Twiffie is not in wuv wiv Twiwigh Spuckle!" Trixie garbled, stamping her hoof.
"What have you got in your mouth, Trixie?" Twilight would have asked, if she could still speak. Her vision was getting hazy.
"I-iz onwee you, Zecowwa! I wuv you!" Trixie garble-stammered, blushing profusely.
Zecora's face lit up, but she did not release her prey. "Trixie, my dear, can it be?! This rat has not kept you from me?"
"Weweaf Twiwigh wight now, Zecowwa! Wewease her, and kiff me!" Trixie said, throwing her forehooves open invitingly.
Zecora was suspicious. "Come over here, and kiss me first. If you were to deceive me, it would be the worst." And she tightened her grip slightly.
Trixie frowned slightly around the bulges in her cheeks, but approached Zecora. Her face morphed into a look of nervous apprehension, tinged with determination as she walked closer. Zecora licked her lips. Trixie sighed through her nose, rolled her eyes, shrugged, and then threw her forehooves around Zecora's neck and kissed the zebra deeply on the mouth.
Zecora released Twilight. Twilight sucked in a glorious breath of oxygen, coughing a little.
When zebra and magician broke their kiss, both locked eyes. Then, after a moment, both coughed and spit.
“Potion in your mouth?” rasped Twilight Sparkle to Trixie.
Trixie nodded, grimacing, and then spitting some more.
Zecora blinked, and shook her head, more than a little disoriented. Sense had come back to her just a little bit too quickly, and her mind was still catching up to itself. She looked at her former paramour, and remembered everything. She looked at her dear friend Twilight, who she had moments ago nearly strangled.
“Twilight I…” Zecora said. “I…” she didn’t know what to say. What did one say to a friend one had just nearly strangled to death? Her face burned with embarrassment, her eyes were wide with horror as the realization of the things that she had been doing all night finally struck her. “Twilight… and Trixie, too… I…”
Then, wordlessly, hot tears in the zebra’s eyes, she ran upstairs and found a door to close behind her.
Twilight was rattled, as she had never seen Zecora cry before. Also, she had rather recently nearly died, which frankly did not help her mental state much.
“Well… that didn’t rhyme.” Trixie observed, perhaps a little callously. Trixie never knew what to do or say when somepony was sad. It made her seem a little cruel at times.
Twilight struggled with whether to be mad with Trixie over her insensitivity, or grateful to her for saving her life.
Twilight sighed. It had been a long night. She was tired. “...We’d better give her a little time,” Twilight decided, her voice sore. “But you and her will have to talk. Later. But for now...” Twilight shrugged, and went over to the window. Overhead, the cotton candy clouds had merged into a swirling maelstrom. It was shaping up to be quite a storm. In the far distance, under Discord’s improbable storm front, dawn was just showing signs of breaking, the black sky turning purple, and the horizon showing the faintest light. It was a beautiful, if surreal, backdrop for a scene of finally settling chaos. “For now…” Twilight patted the ground next to her with her hoof. “Come watch the rain with me, Trixie.”
And, silently, Trixie sat next to Twilight Sparkle, and watched the rain begin to fall.
. . .
“Uh oh,” said Applejack. “I know those clouds...” the storm was forming above them with alarming quickness. It was shaping up to be a real big one.
“Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing up and down excitedly when she spotted the familiar pink clouds.
“We’d better find some shelter, quick,” said Cheerilee.
Celestia looked up, her head cocked in curiousity. “They are odd clouds indeed, but why are we so concerned? Surely, a little rain would not be the worst thing?”
As Celestia voiced her query, Fluttershy, Bon-Bon, Cheerilee, Big Mac, Carrot Top, Derpy, the CMC, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash found shelter under an overturned fruit cart. It was... crowded. Big Mac "wound up" being next to Cheerilee, and he perhaps leaned her way a little more than was necessary, as if to maximize the contact. Subtle, Mac. Real subtle.
Applejack called back, “Not the worst thing, no, but…”
As Applejack spoke, the sky opened, and Celestia was instantly drenched in chocolate milk rain. Her face simultaneously bore a look of surprise, disgust, confusion, and exasperation.
“...But it ain’t normal rain,” Applejack continued. “D'ya know what chocolate milk smells like if ya can’t get it out of yer coat?”
Celestia’s mane and tail seemed less ethereal when they were plastered wet with chocolate milk. Her eye twitched.
Pinkie Pie had not moved, but rather had elected to turn her head up to the sky and leave her mouth open.
. . .
“I think that’s the last tree, Miss Rarity,” said the blue crab, wiping where his forehead would be if he possessed anything like a pony’s physiology, as if he were wiping sweat from his brow, as if he could sweat… okay look, let me put it this way: he “wiped” “sweat” from his “brow,” thus indicating satisfying exhaustion after good, hard work. Does… does that work? We good? Good. The blue crab did that. He had been busily replanting the zap apple trees that were in the best surviving shape. Basically, anything that wasn’t splinters; anything that hadn’t been shredded.
“Excellent job, Bluey! Hmm,” Rarity put a hoof to her chin daintily in thought, “Bluey… hmm… not much of a name, is it? Perhaps I should name the four of you after my four most favorite Neightalian fashion designers…”
“Hey, I totally filled in the hole over here, dudes!” the orange crab called to Rarity from where there had once been a crater.
“Oh, that is wonderful, dear! I am so glad I was able to teach you all some manners after all. Why, you are really all quite lovely crabs once you learn some civility!”
“Thanks, Miss Rarity!” the four crabs said in unison.
“Hmm… that sky looks rather… unsettlingly familiar,” Rarity said, looking up with a small frown on her face. “I daresay… if those are Discord’s chocolate milk rainclouds again I… well! My mane and coat will be simply ruined!” She shuddered.
“You can hide under me, boss,” the red crab said, gruffly. He had a tough shell, but he was all gooey on the inside. Metaphorically speaking. Well, and literally speaking, I suppose.
Rarity gave the tough red crab a heart-meltingly warm smile, “Why, thank you! What a gentlecrab you are!”
The red crab was unable to blush, but he “blushed.” “Whatever,” he said, unable to completely hide the “smile” from his voice.
. . .
Berry Punch and Granny Smith had each awoken to find that they had been left alone on the hilltop. That left them only one recourse.
Checkers.
“Watch her, Berry, she’s wily!” whispered Cidery the talking cider.
Berry rolled her eyes and moved her third piece out into the no-pony’s land between the black and red sides.
Granny, in contrast, played conservatively, her movements hugging the side of play or moving up from the back. Waiting for her drunken opponent to make a mistake. Waiting to strike.
“Hhhhhhhhuuuuuuuhhhhh. Whydon’t y’just MOVE WHUR I c’n JUMP YOU already!” Berry “communicated” in frustration.
Granny smiled a cool smile. The smile of a seasoned checkers shark. Berry was going to be easy prey.
“Shut up, Cidery!” Berry said to nopony. Granny rolled her eyes. Honestly, the kids these days.
“Your move.”
Berry put a hoof to very nearly her chin in very nearly deep thought. Removing her hoof from her ear, Berry reached out and moved one of her center pieces. It was a bold move, forcing Granny to jump her piece, which would mean Granny’s own piece would be jumped. But Granny was two moves ahead, and made use of her positioning to set up a double jump, possibly a triple jump if Berry made the worst move she could. Granny smiled. Checkers was a game of attrition, and she was a master.
“Hhhhhhhuuuuuuummmmmm…” Berry said pensively. “Ah! Of course!”
Berry made the worst move she could.
Oh, this was too easy! Granny made her triple jump, then gasped! How had she not seen… she looked up at Berry. Berry stared back, one eye half-closed, smiling evilly. “Not sho eashy as you thhhhought, ish it, Grannny?”
Berry jumped five of Granny’s pieces and kinged her piece.
“Impossible!” Granny Smith crowed in disbelief.
“Good job, Berry! Uh… where did you get that bottle, anyway? I have been right next to you literally the whole night, and… I technically am a part of you… but I never saw you…”
Berry shrugged. “Found it,” she said, taking another swig as if that adequately explained it.
“Huh?” Granny Smith said, only half-listening. She was staring at the board intently, for once in her life, afraid to make the next move.
That was when the rain hit.
“AW CRABABBAPPLES!” Berry slurred. Then, her head tilted at a listing angle, she stared at Granny Smith, who shivered in the chill of the cool pre-dawn air, soaked with chocolate milk rain.
Berry looked around and spotted Twilight’s blanket. It wasn’t much protection, but it was some. Berry grabbed that, throwing it around Granny Smith. Then, noticing that Twilight had left her telescope up here and knowing that Twilight would not want that soaked, she grabbed it with her hoof after only three tries.
“Come onn, GrenySmith. Le’s… get you home,” Berry said, dropping her bottle (!) and throwing her free hoof around the old mare.
Berry didn’t even get lost on the way. And Granny would make it through the storm without catching so much as a sniffle.
. . .
THIS trixie BUBBLE trixie IS trixie INSUFFERABLE! Mayor Mare thought in frustration. HOW trixie DARE trixie THIS trixie MAGICAL trixie MONSTROSITY trixie STAND trixie BETWEEN trixie ME trixie AND trixie MY trixie BELOVED trixie TRIXIE?!
She and her fellow would-be magician groupies continued their desperate strikes on Twilight’s magic shield. IT trixie WILL trixie BREAK trixie EVENTUALLY! the mayor thought. SHE trixie HAS trixie TO trixie LOVE trixie ME! I’M trixie AN trixie ELECTED trixie OFFICIAL!
Raindrops continued bucking her hooves against the bubble from above, distracted by her imaginary visions of when she would finally meet her heart’s desire:
“You know…” Trixie said, licking her lips. “I have always had a... thing for firefighters.”
“Do tell,” Raindrops replied, nervous with excitement, her voice unintentionally husky.
Meanwhile, Caramel’s thoughts and visions were not appropriate for any audience.
Then it began to rain. They barely noticed it at first, their single-minded pursuit would brook no distraction. But as the potion-infused chocolate milk rain rolled down their faces and into their mouths, or perhaps as they licked their lips, they started to feel… different.
THIS IS trixie ACTUALLY KIND trixie OF HARD trixie WORK and I’m trixie kind of getting… tired? the mayor thought. What will my constituents trixie think if they see me trixie doing this kind of thing? It trixie might set a… precedent. And the election trixie is only two months away! What am I ...trixie… doing?!
Raindrops’ visions adjusted themselves accordingly:
“So. You said you had a... thing for firefighters?” Raindrops said, her throat dry. She licked her lips.
“Oh! Yes!” Trixie hoofed her a painted rock, absolutely covered in glitter. “For you firefighters, I have all the autographed Trixie doorstops and shirts you could ask for!”
Raindrops stared at the thing. And stared. A frown began to form on her face.
...And Caramel’s thoughts and visions became appropriate for select audiences only.
. . .
Spike the mighty dragon was sick of this monster snake! It was time to show his dominance! He was master of his domain!
Shoving the giant draconequus back, Spike reared his head back, clenched his clawed fists, and roared at the sky!
“ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAGURGLE!” Spike roar-gurgled, chocolate milk rain hitting the back of his throat.
Discord grinned as Spike very gradually began to shrink. “So... again, next Thursday? Or are we bowling next week?”
. . .
Lyra and Shovel Face had wandered up the tracks after their car had come to a stop, following the runaway train at a leisurely walking pace. Above them, Princess Luna shot past them, a blue-black shadow against the dark pre-dawn sky.
“So, you say you broke the… thingy-” Lyra was saying, conversationally.
“Relief valve.”
“Right, because your brakes broke-”
“All of them.”
“Right, and you jumped off the train-”
“But you saved me. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Right, and you fought a bear-”
“Bear-shark.” Shovel Face clarified.
“Right. So. Do you think the train made it all the way to Canterlot?”
“I really hope not.”
“Do you think the train blew up?” here, Lyra felt the need to sit and throw her forehooves out dramatically to visually emphasize what “blowing up” entailed. It was a terrifically helpful visual aid, were one unaware of the concept.
“I really hope not.”
“Nah, it couldn’t have… ‘cause you broke the thingy-”
“Relief valve.”
“Right.”
With a nearly silent swoosh, Princess Luna joined them, gracefully landing next to them and walking alongside without missing a step.
“Hiya, Princess!” Lyra said, elbowing the moon deity roughly in the ribs in greeting.
“Ooof!”
“Lyra!” Shovel Face said, agog.
“...What?”
“Ahem. Greetings to you as well, brave heroes!”
“Heroes? Us? Nawwww…” Lyra said.
Shovel Face didn’t say anything. He tried not to show his blush. Heroes didn’t blush. He set his jaw and looked straight ahead, eyes fixed just above the horizon, heroically.
Lyra looked askance at Luna, tilting her head slightly, as if to say, “can you believe this guy?”
Luna did not know what this gesture meant. Luna was a princess, like her sister, and so should show some decorum in the presence of national heroes. She set her jaw and looked straight ahead, eyes fixed just above the horizon, regally.
Lyra just giggled uncontrollably.
Luna and Shovel Face looked at each other, then Lyra, then back at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
“So!” Luna said. “I have journeyed on ahead, and I am pleased to report that the train did not reach Canterlot! It came to a stop not far ahead of us!”
“Great!”
“Awesome!”
“Ah, but there is yet more good news! For not only did the train come to a halt, but it is… hmm… is there a word I’ve not yet learned for ‘didn’t explode?’”
“Unexploded?” Shovel Face suggested.
“Unblownup?!” Lyra said enthusiastically.
“Very well. The train remains unblownup, and I have put out the fire by putting a shield bubble over it and suffocating it.”
“Hooray!” Lyra said.
“Nice!” Shovel Face said.
The three of them soon entered the clearing where the hunk of burned and melted metal had come to rest. There were tracks of burnt grass on either side of the tracks themselves, now reduced to smoking ash, and the vague shape of the engine could still be made out, unexploded. Unblownup.
“Lyra,” Luna said, after they had taken a moment to stare at the train in a kind of reverent silence, “You saved all of those passengers.”
“It wasn’t any-”
“It was a very big deal,” the Princess declared with firm finality. “You are a hero, and you will be rewarded. I shall see to it personally.”
“Shovel Face.” Somehow, it was… less dramatic to say that name, but Luna gave it her best shot. “I do not know what went wrong on this train, but I know that you prevented a bad situation from turning into a disastrous one. If you had not acted so bravely, Canterlot might be in flames at this very moment. You have my gratitude, and I shall see that this act is suitably remembered. I thank you both."
Shovel Face stiffly affected a formal bow.
"No big... uh... I mean... you're welcome?" Lyra said, scratching the back of her head. "Can we... go now? Bon-Bon is going to be furious at me," she continued, after a moment's pause.
"Hmm. And yet, you do seem in a powerful hurry to return, Lyra," Luna observed, smiling knowingly.
Lyra grinned. "Well, no offense, Princess, you're good company and all, and it's great being a hero of the realm or whatever, but... well... you're no Bon-Bon!"
Shovel Face looked up in utter shock. So forward! Royalty, Lyra! She. Is. Royalty! his mind said in disbelief.
But Luna threw her head back, and laughed hearty, booming laughs, throwing a hoof around Lyra's shoulders. "Then, let us to Ponyville go, compatriots! Bon-Bon awaits, and perhaps we may also see how my sister fares!" Throwing her other forehoof around a very flabbergasted Shovel Face, the three set off back in the other direction down the tracks.