[Knight]
{Me}
“Everything in place Spike?”
“Roger”
“Excellent” it wasn’t too hard to get everything in place. Twilight was so entranced by the book I could have rode up on an Ursula minor and she wouldn’t have noticed. So Spike and I had set up about 15 different kinds of explosive fireworks on the outside of the library. Then we rigged them all with extend wicks I had bought so they would go off at roughly the same time.
“Operation Wake-up call is a go!” Spike glanced at me.
“Wake-up call?”
“You got a better name? No? I didn’t think so.”
“Well we could’ve called it-”
“TOO LATE I LIT THE FUSE ITS OFFICIAL!” what followed was a series of loud bangs that would give the US. Army a run for its money. Twilight shot out of the library with a glowing horn looking for whatever monster had caused the explosions. I was barely able to hold in my laughter knowing I would be dead before I hit the ground if she heard me. Spike was not able to hold in his laughter.
“HAHAHAHA” Twilight’s head shot towards us.
“Ohhh we are so dead.” I grabbed Spike and threw him on my back.
“JAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE!”
“CHEESE IT!” I launched into the air in a flash and shot away from Twilight before she could surround me in her magic. I shot away nearly breaking the sound barrier with Spike holding on for dear life.
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I landed on the other side of town with my hair blown backwards at a ninety degree angle.
{Fuck logic}
[Bet if you shake your head it will go back to normal]
I shook my head violently. It went back to normal.
{Holy shit it worked}
[Yeah if you got a fuck logic problem then you need a fuck logic answer]
I looked over at Spike who was wobbling around on his legs and trying not to throw up.
“You ok Spike?”
“O-oh yeah n-never b-better” I chuckled because he sounded drunk.
“Whatever you say Spike, come on while Twilight chills I’m gonna go look at furniture.” I started heading into to town when it struck me.
“Spike where’s the furniture shop?” Spike just sighed and rolled his eyes before taking the lead. He led me into town and towards a rather large shop named ‘Tables to Tools’.
We walked inside and I saw this was some kinda furniture/home repair shop which I found strange but figured I’d be stopping by here often enough. An old looking stallion was standing behind the counter. He was a dark yellow with a shaggy green mane, his cutiemark was a recliner. I was also pretty sure he was gonna freak out any second now.
“Well good even there sunny, can’t rightly say I’ve ever seen something like you before.” Or not.
“Yeah I’m kinda new to town, names Jake.”
“Jake huh? Interesting name, my names Table Top but you can call me Top for short. But I’m sure you didn’t come in here to shoot the breeze what can I do for you?”
[He’s taking this surprisingly well, the only logical answer is he’s part of a secret society that knows all about humans and has been preparing to meet one for ages now.]
{Or he heard about the whole dragon thing and figured he’d see me around}
[Pffft you’re crazy it’s obviously the secret society]
{Sometimes words can not express the hate I feel for you}
[Aww you know I’m your favorite demon living in your head]
{I don’t have too many options there do I?}
“Well yes I’m looking for some furniture for my new house.” He inspected me and motioned for me too follow him. He led Spike and I into a backroom.
[Secret society thing looking more and more likely]
{Seriously I’d have to create new words to express the hate, violent words}
He flicked on a set of light and a room filled with huge bed came into view.
“This is the area where we keep surplus, when we originally opened we bought some griffin sized furniture thinking that eventually some would move here, they didn’t. Now most of this stuff just collects dust.”
He led Spike and I around the room showing us everything from couches to recliners and their prices. In the end I picked out three king-sized beds for the bedrooms, some nice couches and recliners, a table big enough for an archduke and a couple of nightstands.
We haggled about the price a bit, just cus I’m loaded doesn’t mean I’m an idiot, and I eventually got him to go down to half price on the beds since nopony was buying them. The total cost of it was roughly 1,500 bits and he promised to have them delivered tomorrow. Spike and I walked back outside after successfully killing an hour.
“Well Spike wanna go get my potion from Zecora?” if Spike couldn’t get me too Zecora’s place then I’d have to ask Twilight which would lead to complications. Mostly her attempting to rearrange my face.
“Sure follow me.” Spike lead us back out of town with me trailing behind him. What I failed to notice was three ponies following us.
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“Ok so basically drink this and my arm will be fine right? No unwanted side effects?” I was looking at the vial Zecora had given me. It was filled with something that resembled blue sludge.
“For the last time Jake, this potion is safe for goodness sake.”
“Ok Zecora I’m trusting you here.” I uncorked the vial and downed the whole thing. I gagged as it went down it tasted like someone had mixed sweat and onions into a sludgy mess. I was, barely, able to keep it down and felt a tingling sensation in my arm and leg.
“Huh this isn’t so bad” then I felt the bones in my arm start moving under my skin. It felt like someone had taken my bone and replaced it with a piece of molten metal and was pushing it into the other bones. I barely held back a scream as my bones merged together, I can’t honestly say I know how long it took but it felt like hours. When it finally stopped I was coated in sweat, but I felt better than I had ever felt before.
“Well that was one of the most painful things in my life.”
“I did not lie when I said there would be pain, but on the bright side use of your arm you have regain.” I flexed my arm. It didn’t cause any pain what so ever.
“Well you got me there Zecora” I took a look out the window and saw that it was getting late out.
“Well Zecora hate to drink and run, but its getting late and I still have to make sure I survive Twilights wrath so See’ya.”
“Yes best be home before we lose the light, strange creature are known to come out at night.” She ushered Spike and I out the door and we began to head back towards Ponyville.
I felt uneasy on the way back like we were being watched. We were almost too the edge of the forest when it happened. Something flew out of the forest right towards me; I didn’t even have time to react.
*SPLAT*
“WHO THREW THIS PIE!?”