The Diary of Spike the Dragon

by Wrangle Wolfe


This Seventh Entry

Did you know that dragons go through puberty overnight? I know it's a weird thing to talk about, but that was the highlight of the day so I'll talk about it. You see, I had awoken to Twilight writhing under my weight. I'd grown 4 1/2 feet taller and gained at least 190 pounds. Twilight then remembered that she could use magic, and teleported from under me. Ten she flew around me, looking at my new form, and taking measurements and all of that Twilighty stuff. So then she said that she'd fix breakfast that morning, and now I remember why I willingly cook. She burned the oatmeal, the toast, and the orange juice... How do you BURN orange juice?! So after throwing away the ashes, I fixed a proper breakfast and we were happy. I'm glad she didn't bring up what happened yesterday, because I really didn't want to hear about it.

She invited her friends to celebrate. It was cool to not have to think about what happened yesterday and be able to just have fun for once. We all had some good fun and is was just cool like that. But of course, there was some serious things I had to note. Like what was up with the sick thoughts going through my head today? I was thinking of each of these mares that I was supposed to be angry at in... suggestive ways. Not Twilight of course because... ew. No. Never. EVER. I would rather kill myself than to... Celestia dammit! Anyways, stupid puberty came with stupid thoughts. Gosh, I'm still thinking about how well AJ would handle a rope and hoping Rainbow dash wasn't the world's 'fastest' pegasus and how long Pinkie would last with all of that energy... BUT MOVING ON! I shouldn't be thinking these things. Why puberty? Why? It's disturbing. And disgusting. It's like as soon as I hit a growth spurt and my body starts developing, the thoughts do stuff on their own too. I'm sure ponies don't have to deal with this. Lucky little... abominations. Or abominations to dragons at least. I'm sure if I were living with the rest of my kind then my thoughts would drift onto the female dragons there. Dragons are weird. Why couldn't I have been born as something normal... or cool, like a minotaur? Sure dragons are cool. They breath fire, they can fly, and they are big with scales tough enough to stand lava. That's it. Ponies can use spells that do the same things and they have access to a lot more abilities and have better agility and speed. Dragons size slows them down and being huge isn't always that great. For example, if you have prey, there's so many tiny spaces for it to hide. And it's hard being silent when you're that huge, so no way you're sneaking up on anything. I'm pretty sure it sucks to be huge. Now that I hopefully have made you forget what happened earlier, how about I tell you how cool I look?

Muscles. I love them. I have way more muscle than before. Hell yeah! And of course, I'm taller too. Tall as those mythical beings that they call humans. I'm five feet and ten inches tall. I tower above everypony. And I have wings too! They are thin, bet pretty strong. It'd be hard to rip those babies! The spikes that run from my tail to my head are bigger and have a... sharper look to them. My fangs are bigger and the rest of my teeth have gotten sharper too, unlike before when they were normal like a pony's. I have sharper claws that can probably rip through metal. Gotta be careful with those things. I had gotten irritated today because of... something Twilight did. I don't even remember, because I was distracted as a trail of black smoke exited my nose. I guess when I feel a negative emotion... even if it's only irritation, I start to exhale black clouds of smoke. I think I'm going to have to avoid those six mares because they know how to bring up a lot of negative emotions in me. Oh well.

I'm too big for my basket so I have to sleep in the guest bed. It's a little bit too small, but it beats the floor I guess. It's been a good day for me, and that's awesome. I haven't had a good day in so long. I know tomorrow will be filled with painful memories and sadness, but at least I had a day to take a break. Who knows, maybe being big will help me through all of this. Maybe I will get the attention that I've wanted for so long. But... if I want it so bad, why do I feel like I'm being greedy and selfish?

- A confused, but mostly happy Spike

P.S, I hope the girls don't get into my diary. I'll just cross off what I said earlier just in case.