//------------------------------// // 31. End of the Second Day // Story: Tales of the Oppressed // by Terran34 //------------------------------// “And then this dumb stallion proceeds to knock the entire table over, plates and all, screaming like a little filly,” Spitfire relates, much to the chagrin of a blushing Rapidfire. The other Wonderbolts laugh heartily at his expense, while I just shake my head. “Really? All for a spider that wasn't even there?” Fleetfoot responds between snickers. Rapidfire proceeds to look more and more embarrassed, though he is grinning despite himself. “No, it was there all right. Just not real,” Spitfire corrects her. A moment later, she reaches backward and catches a passing waiter. “Oi! Fill me up real quick, would you?” The waiter bows when he notices who stopped him, and then he refills Spitfire's cup with more cider. “That's an awesome prank! I wonder who in Ponyville I could pull that on,” Rainbow muses, a wicked grin crossing her face. “Certainly not me. Spiders don't scare me all that much,” I inform her. That gets Rapidfire's attention as well, his eyes widening in disbelief. “What? How do they not scare you?” he asks curiously. Since I apparently have the spotlight right now, I might as well answer him. “Because they're not really all that dangerous. Most of them aren't venomous, and the ones that are aren't a danger if you're not a dumb fuck,” I point out. Spitfire and Rainbow both nod in agreement with that, but Rapidfire just blanches. “But they can always get you when you're not expecting them. They could crawl into your bed at night and spin webs while you're asleep and...” he protests, but I cut him off. “Okay, let me stop you right there. Spiders aren't stupid either. They don't spin webs on unstable objects, especially ones that move regularly, like living creatures. Secondly, if they do crawl into your bed, they're dead. All it takes is for you to roll over in your sleep, and they're squished,” I berate him, but at the same time it appears to be having a reassuring effect on him. “I can't believe we're having a conversation about spiders, of all things,” Soarin remarks. He nudges Spitfire. “I blame you, captain. You're a bad influence on us all.” “Coming from the stallion that practically drains all of our money on food expenses,” Spitfire retorts. “Aw come on, you're exaggerating!” Soarin complains. His reaction is enough to get Spitfire chuckling. With that distraction, Surprise reaches forward and taps Rapidfire on the shoulder, and the two of them start discussing something. While Fleetfoot discusses different types of tricks with Rainbow, I take a drink from my own cup. This is chaos. I feel a lot like I'm hanging out with a bunch of college students. It's definitely a newer experience for me. I've been with groups like this before back in my time, but I never really got involved in the conversations unless they were school related. Since, you know, I hated all of them and would never go anywhere with them unless it was school related. Here, it's odd. They're celebrities, and yet they're going out of their way to make sure I'm included in the conversation. Not by asking me about my race, either. They apparently got the message when I snapped at them about it earlier. Speaking of which, we went to a small restaurant together, where the Wonderbolts had their own reserved tables, where they wouldn't be disturbed. Something like that being offered to me normally set off all kinds of alarm bells in my head, but since Rainbow was so close to me, I decided not to mention anything. If anything happens, I'll blame her. “What did you think about our tornado trick, Seth?” Spitfire inquires, which brings the attention back to me again. “It was bullshit. I know how tornadoes work, and that one followed none of the rules,” I responded honestly. “Oh? Do tell,” Spitfire says, lifting one eyebrow. Next to me, Rainbow buries her face in both hooves, probably because she knows I'm about to analyze the shit out of this. “Tornadoes form by wind shear, when two currents of wind blow at different speeds. An updraft catches it, and that's how a funnel cloud starts,” I explain, recalling what little school did teach us about them. For some reason life threatening occurrences like that were skipped over for more inane topics, like the Pythagorean theorem. Go figure. “Then the resulting vacuum causes immense suction. What you did was just fly in a fucking circle, and then air blew outwards. Explain that!” “Well, we weren't going to create a suction tornado in the middle of a crowded arena, dude,” Spitfire assures me. “It's not that hard for fast enough pegasi to set up an outwardly blowing tornado.” “But...that's not...you don't...I...” I stammer, so many different logical protests forming in my head at a speed that my brain can't keep up with. Rainbow snickers next to me, taking pleasure in my mind being fucked. “Fucking magic!” “Equestria runs by magic. You should get used to seeing it everywhere,” Fleetfoot reminds me. Yes, yes, I know that. I rub my forehead in exasperation. Fuck you, Discord. Fuck you with a brick. “Well, we do have alternate sources of energy,” Rapidfire inserts, turning away from his conversation with Surprise, much to her annoyance. “Like electricity.” “For the last time, Rapidfire, we're not buying you electric headphones,” Spitfire chastises him wryly. “Our bank account can't possibly survive.” “Wha...but I get so tired of having to make unicorns keep charging up mine with magic!” Rapidfire complains, producing a set of thick headphones. There's no cables for it, so basically it's battery powered. With magic. I hate magic. “Money is money, dude. We don't make nearly enough to afford anything electric,” Spitfire qualifies with a rueful smile. “That actually reminds me,” I speak up next, directing my words at Spitfire. She turns away from Rapidfire and looks at me expectantly. “What exactly are the Wonderbolts, apart from stunt fliers?” “That's a good question, I'm glad you asked,” Spitfire responds readily, her eyes lighting up. “You're right, we're more than just stunt fliers. We're actually military.” “Really? So Rainbow was right about that much,” I reply, which earns me a nudge from Rainbow. “You say that like you were expecting me to be wrong!” Rainbow accuses me. I just roll my eyes and motion for Spitfire to continue. “We originally formed just after the War of Night and Day, as the E.U.P, or Earth Unicorn Pegasus Guard,” Spitfire related. Oh, that's interesting. I do like military history. Maybe I can take some time to learn a little more about history. Because if there's one thing I can say about Cheerilee's class, it's that she didn't say shit about military make up. “The first Wonderbolts, though they weren't called such, were chosen to commemorate the occasion.” “The E.U.P., huh? So all the regiments and whatever used to be one solid unit?” Ask I ask, I notice Rainbow next to me, looking at me with a bemused expression. Maybe she's confused that I'm actually holding a conversation with a pony without snapping at it. Well, it's not like she's asking anything personal, so I don't see a reason why I would snap at her. “That's right. Naturally the military's gone through a few changes and reorganizations since then. That was a long, long time ago,” Spitfire clarifies. “Now we have six divisions, two for each race.” “Oh, I see. I've only heard of the two unicorn regiments, though. What kind of roles do the two pegasus regiments have?” Spitfire blinks and gives me a curious look. “You seem awfully interested in all this. What's up with that?” “I enjoy learning about military history, that's all. If you don't want to answer, then don't,” I answer irritably, causing her (and Rainbow next to me) to wince. “Naw, I don't mind answering. It's just most of the time, my stallion fans only ask me about myself, and not about our history,” Spitfire reassures me with a wry grin. “I find it rather refreshing.” “Trust me, you don't have to worry at all about that,” I retort, shuddering. Fucking celebrity groupies. I understand how she feels. “Anyway, answer the question.” “All right. Well, my division is the Canterlot Royal Pegasus Corps. We're the air force; we strike first, and we strike 'em again,” Spitfire reveals, chuckling a bit at her own joke. “Of course, not really much call for military action around here anymore. Last time we had a war was a millennium ago.” “Hang on, your division?” “Yup. I should probably reintroduce myself,” Spitfire remarks. “I'm Spitfire, Captain of the Canterlot Royal Pegasus Corps.” Well, shit, that makes her as important as Shining Armor. So she's not just a performer. I look at the other Wonderbolts. “Well then. I have a habit of meeting important ponies, it seems. So that makes you all soldiers as well?” I ask curiously. “Yup!” Surprise affirms cheerily. The rest nod in confirmations as well. Well then, we're hanging out with soldiers. “That's so cool! Have you smashed any bad guys?” Rainbow exclaims, joining the conversation. “Hah, nothing worth talking about. The princesses do a good job keeping Equestria safe,” Spitfire answers, chuckling at Rainbow's enthusiasm. No shit, Celestia is overpowered. Mind-reading powerhouse that claims to raise the sun. Still not sure I believe that part. “But captain, remember the time we drove off those monsters near Dodge Junction?” Soarin reminds her with a grin. “It was great, I think I crushed a dozen of those things.” “I didn't forget. I just said it wasn't really worth talking about,” Spitfire corrects him. “Like Soarin said, most of our military missions now are dealing with monster threats, or training new recruits.” “It's weird, that Equestria has gone so long without wars,” I comment, remembering all the wars humanity has had over its history. There's been way too many to count. “Don't you get tired of having nothing to do?” “To put it bluntly, I'd rather have nothing to do than take part in a war. We're here to keep Equestria safe, but that job is seldom pleasant,” Spitfire tells me flatly. “I'm totally fine doing flips and corkscrews if it means everypony is safe.” “That's...a surprisingly noble thing to say,” I say, surprised. I didn't expect her to spill her feelings to me just because I asked, that's for sure. “I'm just telling you how I feel, that's all. I'm damn proud to be the head of the Wonderbolts, and even prouder to be a member of Equestria's military,” Spitfire finishes. I don't really know what to say to that. Honestly I had no idea what to expect from Spitfire, but I guess she's all right. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt for now. Though I see why Rainbow idolizes her. “Rainbow, what time is it?” I mention to my friend, just remembering that we have someplace to be soon. Rainbow blinks, and then she frantically looks around for a clock. I guess she forgot as well. “Uh, half past three,” Rainbow reveals, heaving a relieved sigh. “Thank Celestia, I thought we were gonna be late.” “We still might, if we don't get moving,” I warn her. She looks really bummed out by that, probably because she wants to stick around with the Wonderbolts some more. I won't like, I kinda do too, if only to learn a bit more about Equestria's military from one of their captains. “Got someplace to be?” Spitfire inquires as I stand up from the table, setting the last of my bits down on the table to pay for the meal. I'm now as broke as I was when I got here. Seems like forever ago. “Yeah, Rainbow and I originally came to Canterlot on business,” I explain. Then I quickly correct myself. “Well, to be accurate, I came to Canterlot on business. Rainbow is here just because.” “I am not! You asked me!” Rainbow protests, but I ignore her. “I'm here with a musician, being paid to set up her shit. You know how it goes,” I continue. Spitfire nods, making no indication that she's going to move at all. “I gotcha. Well then, I guess I'll see you around, Seth. I must say, it was a pleasure talking to you,” Spitfire tells me. “Yeah, if all humans are like you, then humans are cool!” Soarin adds, earning a scoff from me in response. You have no fucking idea how “uncool” humans are. “Also, I certainly hope to see more from you, Rainbow. You have potential; I saw that at the competition,” Spitfire adds. Rainbow proceeds to blush nine shades of red and nod vigorously, tripping over her words. Her awkwardness causes Spitfire to chuckle. “All right, if we don't go now, I'll never get you out of here,” I grunt, poking Rainbow in the neck. She snaps out of her reverie, and then with a last wave to the Wonderbolts, we leave the restaurant. Rainbow is silent for about five seconds before she promptly starts gallivanting around me in pure joy. “Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigooosh! Did you hear her?! She said I had potential!” And...she's also fangirling again. I get tired of watching her, so I grab the top of her head to keep her still. “Yes, I heard her too, I was there, in case you forgot. Don't let it go to your head; it's big enough as it is.” Rainbow shakes off my hand and growls at me. “My head is not big! What are you talking about?” “It's a figure of speech, you moron,” I inform her, rolling my eyes. “Basically don't get confident. Somepony like her isn't going to be really impressed unless you put a lot of effort into your flying.” “I...I already knew that! I always put effort into my flying!” Rainbow asserts, though it seems like I've managed to quell her ego a bit. “That's why I'm the fastest pony in Equestria apart from them!” ….Or not. Goddamn this pony and her ego. Drives me nuts at times. We reach the bar just as the time reaches four. I wish I could have been here earlier, but I doubt I could have dragged Rainbow out of that restaurant any sooner. Not with the way she was hanging on Spitfire's every word...holy shit. I completely forgot about that. Same sex relationships apparently aren't frowned upon in this society. What if Rainbow wasn't all over Soarin because she didn't swing that way? This is a disturbing and rather irritating line of thought. I'm going to not think about this. “I was wondering if you two would be on time!” Vinyl calls to us from the stage, where she's already starting to set up the mat upon which all of her equipment will go. Hang on, the cart's already here. How did that happen? Did Vinyl bring the cart over from the hotel all on her own? “Nah, I managed to drag Seth here before we were late,” Rainbow assures Vinyl. My eye starts to twitch. “Excuse me, that was what I was doing to you, you lying fuck,” I correct her, shoving her playfully. She nudges me right back, a twinkle in her eyes telling me that she'd just been fucking with me. “Okay, can you keep your hooves off of each other for one moment and help me set up my gig? It's...what I'm paying you for, after all,” Vinyl remarks, running a few cables underneath the mat. “Dammit Vinyl!” I snap at her, which only makes her laugh. I'm getting real tired of her jokes about Rainbow and I. Platonic relationships exist, you fucking troll. “Correction: it's what she's paying you for. I think I'll go take a little nap!” Rainbow declares with a mocking grin, and then she promptly finds a booth to recline in. “Have fun, working, Sethie!” “...You did not just fucking call me Sethie,” I deadpan, already planning my revenge. “Less, talking, more working, Sethie!” Rainbow teases me. Oh that is it. Shit is going to go down back at our hotel room. That bed flipping trick is going to be tame compared what I'm going to do to you. Ignoring her laughter, I look over at Vinyl for direction...only to see her snickering as well. My glare causes her to quickly compose herself. “Er...ahem. Dude, can you grab all those boxes from the cart and stage them over here?” she requests. “Don't ask me, tell me. I'm your employee,” I grunt, but I do as I'm told anyway. Seriously, fucking bosses asking you if you can do something when you know you can't say no. It just pisses me off. You know how it goes. The stage in this area is different, but the essentials are the same. Run the cables under the mat, plug them in, get the tables set up, the speakers connected, etcetera. It's some hard work, especially all the heavy lifting with the LEDs and the speakers. I swear, if I don't have abs by the end of the month, I'll be pissed. “Excellent, excellent!” the brown stallion with the sandy mane from before exclaims as he examines the set up. I'm assuming that's Erratic Tune, judging by the musical butt tattoo he's got. Though why a musician pony is running a bar is beyond me. “It's been so long since I've heard some decent electronic music!” “Just you wait, bro. I've got some human music in store for ya too!” Vinyl informs him with a grin. Erratic's eyes widen, as does his smile. “You got your human friend here to teach you some music? That's incredible!” Erratic asks, looking between me and Vinyl. I cross my arms. I didn't show her shit. The only pony I've shown my music is Rainbow, and that was only one song. “Nah, my mother's an archaeologist. She pulled a few strings so I could have some of the few fragments of music her expedition did find,” Vinyl explains. That's interesting. So that's how she got hold of dubstep and the like. “It was pretty easy to extrapolate the style of their music onto our own.” “Nevertheless, I am very interested to hear this human music,” Erratic asserts. Then he trots towards the back of the bar. “Now if you'll excuse me, I need to add human music to the advertisements. That'll draw in a crowd!” “Guy's too fucking cheerful,” I mutter as I crawl underneath Vinyl's mixing tables, three multicolored cables clenched in my right hand. “Careful under there! Don't mess with any of the switches you see, or it'll mess up my whole gig!” Vinyl alerts me, trotting over to me. “Maybe it's too soon for me to let you do this part.” “Calm your tits, mare! I've got this.” My response causes Vinyl to raise an eyebrow. “All I'm doing is plugging these cords into the properly colored slot.” “You know, every time I think you can't get any more vulgar, you always find a way,” Vinyl observes dryly. “Seriously though, don't touch those switches.” “I'm not going to touch them! Sheesh, this is an elementary job, it's not like I'm going to...” I start to complain, but then I accidentally hit my head on the underside of the tables. “Ow, son of a bitch!” “An elementary job, was it? Get out of there,” Vinyl returns smugly, and drags me out from underneath the tables with her magic. Then, while I'm rubbing the forming lump on my head, Vinyl crawls underneath the tables as well. “Oh come on, you hit the reverb switch! That woulda really messed up my sound!” I scratch the back of my head sheepishly, feeling really foolish for fucking up after spouting off like that. “Not my fucking fault it's so tight under there.” “You talking about beneath my tables, or Rainbow's tail?” Vinyl jokes, from underneath the tables. My immediate response is to stomp on her hoof with my foot. “Ow! What was that for?” “And you were just bitching at me about being vulgar! Oh god...now I'm visualizing it...fuck you, Vinyl. Just...just fuck you,” I groan, holding my head with one hand and pounding it with the other, trying to get that horrifying image out of my head. “I need to go find somewhere to hurl.” “Oh come on, with a set up like that, I can't not seize the opportunity,” Vinyl says as she plugs in one of the cords. “I don't regret a thing.” Oh you totally will. You're next on my shit list for tonight. Now I have to devise a plan to get revenge on her too. After we finished setting up Vinyl's equipment, we rejoin Rainbow at the booth. Vinyl and I have to sit together, since Rainbow is sprawled across the other side, fast asleep. That didn't take her very long. She fell asleep regardless of the typical background noise a bar has. About two seconds after I sit down, I stand back up and move over to Rainbow. Vinyl watches me curiously, wondering what it is I'm going to do. What I have planned is pretty tame, but all that shit will come later. Leaning down, I pinch her ear and blow into it from a few inches away. Just like I expected, Rainbow immediately wakes up and makes a hilarious noise, flailing her hooves around. She clamps a hoof to the affected ear and looks at me with a disturbed expression. “What the hay was that, Seth!?” She demands. “Something I'd do to annoy animals back in my time,” I explain with a chuckle. Her face is perfect right now. I wish I could take a picture. “Trust me, animals fucking hate that. Apparently you do as well.” “That was only the weirdest sensation ever!” Rainbow protests, though she's starting to giggle now that she recognizes the fact that it was a prank. “Can't you ever just shake me and say 'hey Rainbow, please wake up?'” “Nope. I think I've said that before.” “Ugh. Let's just get some food while I plan my revenge,” Rainbow says with a wicked grin. Oh please, I bet your revenge will be pathetic compared to what I have in store for you. After we eat, the party gets started. Unfortunately, I couldn't pay for the meal, so I resolved to pay Rainbow back the moment I get paid for tonight. Basically, Vinyl does a quick sound test to make sure everything's working, and then she starts her first song, which is not dubstep, interestingly enough, but something electronic. I suppose that stuff is going to come later. Also, I'm going to be here for hours. Hoo boy. That's the only thing about musical gigs that I can't stand. It's the endless waiting, especially if the song isn't one that I particularly like. This one is okay, but it's not going to get me on the dance floor. Some of the other ponies in the bar think it's the best thing ever, considering we already have some ponies on the dance floor. Other ponies are coming in from the streets, having heard the music. I even see that one mare I fucked with the other day come in as well. I think her name was Ember? I forget. She wasn't that memorable apart from the guitar. I would take a nap, but Rainbow is eyeing me in a rather suspicious manner, so I know that's a bad idea. She might try to prank me. So honestly I end up sitting at this damn booth sipping at a cup of water for a really long time. Nothing really interesting happens until a little after eight. I'm still just sitting at the booth, watching the ponies dance like crazy to a more upbeat song that Vinyl's playing, when I happen to notice a particular pony walk in from the street. “Holy shit,” I remark, my voice barely audible over the pounding bass. Rainbow stirs at my words, following my gaze until she sees what I'm looking at. Her reaction is similar to mine, minus the cursing. I guess she knows who that is as well. Octavia has just walked into the bar, looking as groomed and classy as ever. She's looking around for someone or something, looking somewhat uncertain. She wrinkles her nose at the sound of the music coming from the tables. What the fuck is she doing he...oh that's right, I told her to come here for the most likely chance of finding me. “I'll be right back. I think she's here to see me,” I explain, standing up from my seat and making a beeline for her. “Wait what? You...and her....what?” Rainbow stammers in surprise, but I quickly leave her behind. Octavia spots me when I get close enough to her, and she comes to meet me halfway, with a smile. “Ah, there you are. I was hoping I could catch you before you left for the night,” Octavia greets me with a dip of the head, which I return. “I didn't expect to see you so soon. I take it you have some news for me?” I say, cutting right to the point. “Indeed I do. Would you care to step outside for a moment?” Octavia replies, indicating the door with a small head motion. I nod, and the two of us leave the bar. “Why, not a fan of Vinyl's music?” I tease her as we walk out into the darkened Canterlot streets. Octavia wrinkles her nose again. “I can't say that I am. It lacks a certain...finesse, for lack of a better word.” “I hear that. This kind of music is hit or miss for most individuals,” I relate, nodding my head. “Anyway, enough about that. What did you find out?” Octavia responds by giving me a bright smile. “You're lucky. I managed to find an opening tomorrow at noon.” I can't believe my ears. A piano room has an opening this early? Part of me wants to call bullshit on this. “I don't buy it. How often are these rooms usually booked?” I demand, crossing my arms. “It depends on the time of year, I suppose. They're usually booked for months at a time before concerts, but after performances, there's a short period of time where the rooms are relatively unused,” Octavia explains. I suppose that makes sense, even if it is a little convenient. “I see. Did you already make the reservation, or do I have to go and do that myself?” “Of course. If I hadn't, it likely wouldn't be available now. These reservations tend to disappear fast,” Octavia assures me. “Okay, then how would I go about reaching this place? I know where the concert hall is, but not the rehearsal hall.” “All right, if you're looking at the concert hall from the front,” Octavia begins, moving so that she's standing with her back to me. “If you follow the right path and cut through the alleys on the left of the street, it's only short walk until you see it. It's hard to miss.” It's really comical, how she's attempting to act out the directions with her two front hooves. Thankfully, my memory is good enough that I can visualize what she's trying to tell me. “Um...Octavia? Perhaps you should leave the directions to the professionals,” I criticize with a raised eyebrow. Octavia abruptly lowers her hooves and gives me a stare. “Oh, hush, you. I'm trying to help,” she huffs with an adorable pout, which just makes me chuckle. “Did you understand though?” “I did, no thanks to...” I take a moment to wave my hands in the air in a mock imitation of what she had been doing. “...whatever you were doing.” “Enough about the directions!” Octavia complains, making me laugh harder. “Anyhow, your reservation is for room fifteen. Unfortunately, I cannot stay, as business calls.” “One last thing before you go. I...don't actually understand Equestrian writing. Think you can describe to me what the characters for 'fifteen' look like?” I admit. Octavia blinks, and then she shuffles around in her saddlebags for something. “I can do better than that. One moment,” she tells me as she fishes out a notepad and a pencil. With the pencil in her mouth, she delicately writes something down on the first page, and then rips it out, again with her mouth. I hold out my hand, into which she deposits the sheet of paper. Clearly inscribed upon it are a few unfamiliar characters, which I'm going to assume are the characters that mean 15. “Just match the characters you see there to the ones on the door of the practice room, and you'll be fine,” Octavia assures me as she replaces the notepad and pencil in her saddlebags. “Now then, if you'll excuse me, I have a few preparations to make before tomorrow.” “Right, whatever. I'm just gonna stay here and be bored out of my mind,” I respond dryly. With a nod, Octavia turns the other direction and begins to walk away. Before she can fully leave the area, my conscience gets the better of me and I call after her. “Octavia!” She turns her head to look at me curiously. I scratch the back of my head nervously. “Thanks,” I say awkwardly. A warm smile crosses Octavia's face. “You're very welcome. Good night to you, Seth.” And with that, she was gone. With the piece of paper folded up neatly in my back pocket, I return to the bar, where everything is still much the same as it was when I left it. Well, maybe the dance floor has gotten a little wilder. I consider joining in the dancing to let off some steam, but then decide better of it. I'm not really feeling it tonight. “What was that all about? When did you become friends with Octavia of all ponies?” Rainbow questions me when I return to our table, where I see my water has been refilled. “She's not my friend. She just came to tell me there was a reservation available for me at the rehearsal hall,” I remark, grabbing the cup of water and gulping from it. Ah, that hydration though. “Huh? But how did you even get her to talk to you? At the gala, she seemed really snooty and uptight,” Rainbow presses. I sit down across from her. “I don't know what a 'gala' is, but she's pretty chill, really. Definitely not what I expected from a celebrity,” I confess. “With talent like her's, I expected her to be full of herself.” “Oho, you want to see a celebrity that's full of herself, go watch one of Trixie's shows. That mare makes me so mad!” Rainbow seethes. Trixie? Who the fuck is...suddenly a bad joke has come to me. “Silly Rainbow. Trixies are for kids!” I joke wryly. Wow, I've sunk to a new level of dumb references. Rainbow looks understandably clueless. “...What?” “Skip it. Who's Trixie?” “She was a traveling magician that apparently made it big in the towns surrounding Canterlot. She was a real jerk though, always bragging and showing everypony up,” Rainbow relates, deciding to ignore my dumb joke. “Hold on, what? What's the point of being a traveling magician if everyone knows that magic is real?” I demand. When Rainbow returns with a confused expression, I elaborate. “Back in my time, we had traveling magicians as well, but all they did was use cheap tricks and clever optical illusions to deceive people into thinking they had magic.” “That's weird. Seth, why is your kind so weird?” Rainbow questions me. I give a shrug. “Well, to answer your question, magician ponies use their magic to entertain other ponies.” “So, like show magic. Okay, seems weird, but I guess that's just a difference in culture,” I remark, and Rainbow nods in agreement. For the rest of the night, Rainbow and I exchange small talk a few times, but more often than not I spend the time staring listlessly into space. That continues until finally Vinyl plays the last song around half past eleven, when most of the dancing ponies are filtering out for the night. After a short address to the bar patrons, Vinyl calls me up to the stage again to help her dismantle all this shit. “Excellent!” Erratic approaches us as Vinyl and I are working together to take apart the LEDs and speaker systems. In his hoof is a large bag of bits that clinks enticingly with every step he takes. “I knew it was a good idea hiring you. I made a lot of money tonight. I believe now it is time for you to do the same. Two hundred bits, all for you.” “Aw sweet! Thanks, Erratic!” Vinyl exclaims, grabbing hold of the bag with her magic and bringing it closer to herself. “Now then, let's fish out some for Seth here.” “Don't you dare split it half and half. You did most of the work,” I warn her. Vinyl sticks her tongue out at me. “Calm down, bro, I wasn't going to do that. I was thinking I should give you a third of the overall payment, like I always do. This time it's six hundred,” Vinyl muses. She takes a moment to run the math in her head. “So that's two hundred bits for you total. Since I have two hundred bits here...a third of that is...” “About sixty six bits,” I calculate, having done math so much in college I can do simple calculations pretty easily. “Two hundred isn't divisible by three. You'll get a remainder of two. So give me sixty eight bits today, and sixty six each additional day.” Vinyl stares at me. “That makes sense. Good thing I brought you along, my little calculator,” she jokes. She opens the bag with her magic, and then fishes out 68 bits. She halts again before handing me the bits. “Hm...since I know you'll complain if I don't, I'm going to go ahead and take your expenses out of this.” “Yes, please do. That way I can keep whatever else I earn,” I tell her. Good, at least I get to watch her take the money out of my pay. “Hm...so the hotel room was forty...split that by three and you get thirteen bits,” Vinyl begins, but already I see an error. “Forty isn't divisible by three. There's a remainder of one. Take fourteen bits to make up for the extra,” I correct her. Vinyl stares at me again, and this time she sticks out her tongue. “Nope. This is my gig, so the extra should be my responsibility,” Vinyl refutes. “But...” “I'm your boss, so nyah!” is Vinyl's immature response. I groan and facepalm, realizing that that logic is not something I can refute. Technically it doesn't matter who pays the extra...but I would have felt better if I'd done it. “Anyway, take out thirteen bits there. Then another five for the train ticket, and four will go to Rainbow for your meal today. You're left with forty six bits. Sound good?” “Yeah,” I finally say, fishing out the empty bag that once held my own money. With a satisfied grin, Vinyl places the 46 bits into it with her magic. I almost drop the bag from the weight. Holy shit, I'm richer than I've ever been in Equestria. The most I've ever had was 23 bits. This is twice that amount. Fuck yeah, money. Too bad it's not enough to buy myself a house. “Sweet! Then let's get back to work so we can crash. I dunno about you, bro, but I'm exhausted,” Vinyl says, turning back to her tables. “You finish packing up the LEDs in the boxes. I'll unhook the cables. You know, an elementary job.” “...I hate you so much,” I groan at her reminder of my fuck up. Her response is to laugh heartily at my expense. By midnight, we've finished packing everything up into the cart. Rainbow joins us at that point, having taken another nap instead of helping us (Then again, I'd rather she didn't help us. More money for me). Unfortunately, Vinyl and I have to push the cart all the way back to the hotel, while Rainbow does little flips and twirls in the air, taunting us without words about how slow we are. Once we reach the hotel, we leave the cart with the staff and we return to our room on the third floor. I'm so fucking exhausted after all of that heavy lifting and three flights of stairs, that I collapse immediately into my bed. I look over at Rainbow, and Vinyl, the latter of which is now taking off her shades. I already know what I'm going to do to them. It'll just have to wait until the morning, because that's the best time to pull off my evil prank without a hitch. I strip down to my boxers underneath the blankets of the bed where I can't be seen, and then I toss my clothes out through a gap onto the floor. Then, at last, I get comfortable, letting out a sigh of contentment. “I'm going to sleep. I'll see you two in the morning,” I tell them, shutting my eyes. I hear two different grunts of acknowledgment, because they're both tiredly climbing into their bed as well. Sleep well, mares. Because in the morning, you're going to get a very rude awakening indeed.