"Sweet Jesus......" I groaned.
"What's the matter baby? Too much of a pussy to take a little punch?" Jack said as the three of them burst into a fit of hysterical laughter before kicking me in the guts when I'm down. From one corner of my eye, I could see Luna standing there completely horrified, covering her mouth to prevent herself from screaming out loud.
I tried to get up before anyone of the three could kick me again but Isaac immediately gave me a swift kick right in the face when he noticed, sending me rolling a few feet away. Luna gasped when she saw me. With the distinctive smell of metal in my nostrils, I could see why.
"Dixon!" Luna cried as she knelt in front of me. "Are you alright?"
"Don't worry, I'm fine." I replied as I struggled to get back on my feet, still dizzy from the kick. "Just a scratch."
"You're bleeding!"
"Trust me, I've been worst off." I said, pushing Luna's hand away gently as she tried to touch my face.
Isaac and his lackeys started strolling towards me, however he wasn't focusing on me. Instead, he was focusing at Luna and something told me they weren't there just to say hi.
"So, what is someone so beautiful hanging out with Dickless? You should dumb that loser and hang out with the cool guys." And he finished that by kicking me right in the stomach.
"H-he's not a loser! H-he's a kind human!" Luna said, backing off.
"He's a sub-human piece of shit. Come on, join us! It would be fun!" Jack grabbed Luna by her wrist.
"Let go of me!" She cried.
"Piss off!" A new found strength suddenly lifted my body upwards and immediately, I sprang forwards and smashed Jack's skull with my fist before putting myself in front of Luna, motioning her to stay back.
"Ow...god. You motherfucker..." Jack said. "I'm gonna mess you up!" He said as he ran towards me but not before getting blocked by Isaac's arm.
"Don't worry Jacky," Isaac smirked, "I got this."
“You want a fight? You got one." I yelled as I readied my fist and took a running start.
The momentum caused by running towards them should have made the punch too quick to dodge, but yet somehow it felt too sluggish and Isaac easily dodged it with ease. Before I could react in time and recover, however, Isaac sent a powerful front kick, this one to my ribs, sending fresh ripples of pain through my torso. The force of the kick sent me flying back in front of Luna, making her gasped in shock.
"Bloody hell." I groaned.
"Whatza matter? Chicken?" Isaac taunted.
Standing back up again, I took another running start. Isaac raised his eyebrow in surprise when he noticed that I was doing the exact same thing that caused me to get knocked down before and he stood ready, anticipating my moves. Except that the first punch only glanced Isaac’s chin. He noticed too late that it was a feint, though, when I sent a second punch, right in his guts. To my horror, Isaac doesn't seemed affected or anyhow, he didn't even flinch!
“Oh you gonna pay for that!”
"Uh oh."
Suddenly, Isaac left loose a series of powerful kicks and blows that were too fast for me to avoid or even block. WHAM! There goes my spleen. BIFF! There goes my liver. Each punch were like a rogue freight train, crushing my body as if it was a car stranded on the tracks. I was worried for a split second that I would end up in a hospital by the time this ends when suddenly...
"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!"
Wait what?
Isaac stopped his assault to look in the direction of the voice, and to be honest, I did so too. A young handsome man in his early 20s was standing beside a parked yellow Mazda RX-7 with a hand on his hip and......
Bah, who am I trying to fool? There's only one person I know of that owns a bright yellow Mazda in the entire freaking state of Kansas, doesn't takes a genius to know who it is.
"Well well well." Carl snickered as he walked calmly towards us. "Look what we have here."
"Well well well, if it isn't o'fag himself!" Isaac said.
"Says the one who hangs around with boys." He smirked as he pulled me back up on my feet. "Why are you doing this to my brother?"
"Oh him! Oh, I don't know...maybe it's because I feel like kicking him that's all." Isaac laughed.
"I'll give you a chance to get out of here, or else I'll feel like shoving my fist right in your face if you don't get your ass out of my sight." Carl warned with a threatening demeanour.
"You must have got a screw loose if you think you can take on Isaac!" Jack sniggered.
"92..." Carl suddenly muttered.
"We'll crush you like a bug!" Richard said as he cracked his knuckles.
"35."
"We're-what are you-"
"No, go on, continue. Don't mind me." Carl calmly motioned them to carry on with his hand.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
"Oh sorry, it's just a little habit of mine." Carl smiled. "I've been in so many fights that I keep hearing these stuff so often that I've decided to create a mental list of how many times I've heard certain lines."
"You insane bastard."
"119."
"Yeah?" Isaac yelled, getting more irritated. "We-we're gonna fuck your face!!"
"Ho ho ho, my!" Carl replied, acting surprised.
"12."
"That's it!" Isaac screamed as he rushed out at Carl with a clenched fist.
This could get ugly. I thought.
"Dixon! Are you alright?" Luna asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Wouldn't go down without a fight." I replied.
"You just did-"
"Wouldn't go down easily without a fight." I corrected.
"So what do we do now?"
"Just sit back and enjoy the show." I replied as I leaned against a wall.
"But there's no seat-" She said, confused.
"You don't know much about figure of speech, don't you?" I rolled my eyes before turning my head back at Carl.
Carl, from my memory, was someone you don't want to get on his bad side. Flunking school, trouble with the cops, getting into fights, he was practically the baddest (and perhaps the craziest) motherfucker I know of. In fact, he could've gone down far more worst if my dad hadn't sent him to a military school many years ago. Even now he still likes to create some trouble for us. But no matter how crazy he is, I'm glad he was here to whoop the asses of those threes assholes.
Despite being outnumber three to one, Carl was able to dodge every kicks and punches pretty much easily. Jack tried to punch him in his face but Carl was able block the punch and pull him forward before using his middle and index finger and giving him a sharp jab right in the left lumbar. This caused Jack to fell to the ground and clutch his left abdomen in pain. Richard tried to go from behind but he was immediately spotted and given a hard elbow strike right in the chest that made him kneel over which Carl
added insult to injury by kicking him in the face.
"Payback's a bitch ain't it?" I grinned.
Isaac was the only one left standing, and I was starting to worry for Carl as Isaac was bigger than he was. But at the same time, I realized I was worrying for a guy who was sent to a military academy at my current age. Isaac may be big, but his strategy only consist of using brute force with no planning at all. This made it easy for Carl to anticipate his moves and know where he will strike next. However, Carl was not returning blows at all. He was dodging punches while taunting Isaac at the same time.
"Haha! Too slow!" Carl yelled as he dodged a punch.
"Yo, are you even trying?"
"Hey knucklehead, you ain't gonna win!"
"You... (dodges punch) are...(dodges another punch) terrible!"
"I am OWNING you! You fat bald, fatty, fat...fat fat!"
The last insult was the one that caused Isaac to break. Isaac immediately went ape-shit on Carl and rushed like him like an angry bull. However, Carl jumped past him and did a sweep kick. Causing Isaac to do some sort of mid split which completely exposes his underside. Carl immediately raised his leg and..
BOOM!
And that was it, all three of the Stooges were on the ground moaning in pain, agony and a combination of any other word that represent bad. Carl took a step back to admire at his 'handiwork' before yelling.
"And what have we learned? I ALWAYS WIN!"
"No one, fucks with my brother you hear me? The next time I see you three piece of shits harassing my brother, I will tear out your throat just like I did in Afghanistan. NOW SCRAM!"
Immediately, the Three Stooges got up and ran away so fast you would've thought that they were on the run from the law.
"Hey man, you alright?" Carl asked.
"Considering how I got kicked in the nose, and my dignity smashed into pieces. I can say I'm fine at least."
"What took you so long?!" Luna yelled. "Don't you care about your brother?"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold it lady!" Carl raised his hands up in defence. "How am I supposed to know Dix will get his ass whooped by a bunch of losers?"
"Alright you two!" I said. "I appreciate the worrying and stuff, but we should really get home soon before Mom gets worried.”
“Shit! You’re right!” Carl exclaimed as he looked at the time. “We need to get home now! Alright, double time!” He yelled as he began picking up the groceries on the floor.
"Are you really going to stand there and do nothing?" I looked at Luna disapprovingly.
"And what make you think I’ll do manual labour?” she asked, “I am a princess for your information.”
"Yeah, and in this nation, we don't give a shit about royalty. Besides, no one will ever know about your "royalty" so all you'll be doing is standing there and look pretty." Carl replied.
"Fine." Luna said reluctantly as she went and pick up the tomatoes from the ground.
In record timing, we managed to get every last groceries back into the bags and threw them into the car. There were some that can't be saved like the bananas which were stepped on by someone and one carton of milk which was already leaking milk. When all of us got into Carl's car, Carl took a look at his watch and said worriedly.
"We only have 15 minutes to get back home." He said as he lifted the handbrakes. "I hope we could make it in time."
"I just hope that you don't drive like a maniac this time, my butt is still sore from those loose suspensions."
"Oh! That's reminds me! The reason why I was late was because I've just changed the suspensions settings for my vehicle. I hope you don't mind me going for a test spin now."
"N-n-now?" Luna choked.
"Take a test spin?" I looked at my brother suspiciously, "I don't like the way you said that."
"Whatever." Carl said as he began accelerating.
Luckily, part of the ride home went pretty smoothly. Partially due to the harder suspensions and the classical music playing on the radio which Luna found quite enjoyable. Did I say part of the ride? Yeah, that was 20% of the return trip. As for the 80% however...
"Hey you two." Carl suddenly said from the driver's seat. "I'm going to speed up a little, I only have 10 minutes left."
Immediately, my body started to tense up as if it went into a red alert mode. I began holding onto the nearest item that could save me from being turned into mush.
"Why do you need to get home so quickly?" I asked. "Is it fap time?"
Carl immediately sent me a glare from the driver seat.
"Watch the road! Gah alright! Maybe just for a while." I said.
My brother began accelerating much faster even though he was still in the middle of a district, I figured it might be okay since there wasn't many cars around. But somewhere deep inside me knew that Carl is going to do something stupid, or crazy...or maybe even both.
"HEY HEY HEY! BRAKE! CARL! BRAKE!" I yelled when I realized that a curve was coming up and Carl wasn't slowing down.
"CARL!" Luna and I screamed as the car entered the curve and the car was still going at full speed. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
"Relax, I'm good at this. Don't get your panties in a bunch."
"What?" Luna asked, but before I could answer back I was pushed towards Luna by the force of the vehicle, almost crushing her.
Jesus, I feel the side G force from a little aft. I turned to look at my brother to see how he was handling the wheel when I saw something wrong.
On the steering wheel up front. Carl was casually taking a pack of gum out from his pocket and began unwrapping it. And no hands were on the steering wheel!
"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I yelled.
"Come'on," Carl replied. " I just feel like getting some gum. Want some?"
"Are you crazy!?" Luna cried. "You're going to get us both killed!"
With the driver not controlling the vehicle and the car in the middle of a turn, I figured that there was no escape this time. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Being in the hospital seems like a much better situation right now.
BRACE FOR IMPACT!
The impact never came. When I opened my eyes, the car had already went out of the turn and was speeding on the straight road.
"Holy shit!" I heaved a sigh of relief.
"I do not wish to experience such thing again." Luna slumped into her seat, relieved that she was still alive.
"Alright, I'm going to drive seriously now." Carl said as he sat straight upright and shifted the gear.
"WHAT?!?" Luna and I cried as Carl snickered.
Immediately, the both of us held onto the nearest thing that could allow our arms to be wrapped around it.
"Dear God, Buddha, Allah, Moses, Jesus, Odin, Zeus, Thor, Loki, Princess Celestia and any other beings of higher power. If I can get out of this predicament alive, I will give up Rule 34 and sarcasm. No more fap time and dry humor, I'll be Dixon the restraint and straight talk fellow."
"Did you just sent a prayer to my sister?"
"I'm taking every chance I got alright?"
If it wasn't for the massive roaring of the engine drowning our voices out, I think I know exactly what Luna and I will say together.
"LET US OUT!"