^ Pic Related ^
Hello again, Celestia! Had your fair share of giggles at my subordinance yet?
Oh well, it’s that time of the week already, huh? Do I really have to write about myself like a filly in a schoolhouse, cataloging every detail of my day to day life like some sort of playwright for you to enjoy? Because I have to say that I’m already tired of it.
While we are one the subject of my diary, I couldn’t help but notice the rather large amount of ponies who have managed to get into my personal writing! I’ve already raised this complaint to Twilight, who so rudely disregarded my issue. She said that if I left my diary (and several dozen copies) half open on a pedestal with a big flashing arrow pointing to it, that means that I actually want it to be read. That is preposterous! I clearly wrote in inconspicuous lettering behind the arrow, “Do not read!”
Why didn’t I put it on the front of the arrow? well you see it was filled with information, such as my biography, and the price.
Anyhow, as you all can imagine, I got in a fair share of trouble with Fluttershy for the incident with Tuna Fish. Was his name Tuna Fish? I don’t remember, but point is, Twi and the gang had to go find him, leaving Fluttershy with the task of calming him down and “keeping him safe” as Fluttershy called it. To which I casually glanced at the subte and utterly defenseless two headed raging dog and nodded in complete understanding.
After a little bit of searching, they found out that the Orthros I, uh, found in the desert was actually from a high end exhibit in Las Pegasus, just to the west of my little patch of badland. He disappeared from his habitat in the Exgalloper, a Romane themed casino just off the strip.
…
I swear I don’t have anything to do with him disappearing from his casino! I am a reformed Draconequus, and I am offended that you would think such a thing. Hmph!
So Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and a hot hunk of many different animals took the glitzy train all the way to Sin City. They allowed the Orthros aboard the cargo deck, but only under the condition that I cast a sleeping spell on him, leaving the foaming little ball of rage amidst a cloud of Z’s in no time.
As many ideas for pranks that I had aboard that train, I refrained from doing any of them, as Fluttershy gives me this truly heartbreaking look everytime I even try to, and I just can’t live with that kind of guilt on my conscious.
So I was a good boy the whole ride there. Even as we left the train, I behaved. So the Orthros was loaded into a large carriage, with two harnesses for AJ and Skittles to pull. There were a few employees from the Exgalloper to guide them, but those snobby little curs wouldn’t lift a hoof to help either of the girls, and let me say that I did not like that. I did not like that one bit.
I kindly offered my strength to them, but they wouldn't even let me near the carriage.
So Applejack and Dash busted their flanks to pull that heavy little puppy down the crowded street, up until they got the Orthros into his over-glorified terrarium in the casino. And those snobby little stallions didn’t even say thank you! They acted like Fluttershy stole him, which obviously wasn’t true, and it really twisted my horns.
But then I thought, ‘these ungrateful little uptights can handle housing an Orthros… Let’s see how they handle a Draconequus!’
And so, I inconspicuously broke away from the group, saying I had to go to the bathroom, but little did they know, I secretly watched from afar and waited for the others to leave. I spied as they lowered Peanutbrittle into his enclosure, which was just a 10 or 15 foot pit with a railing around it. The employees spent a few minutes trying to wake him up, before leaving him alone with a shrug.
With a flash of magic from your’s truly, I was beside the sleeping devil, a smile wider than any I’d ever grinned before plastered across my face.
“Oh, dear Peanutbluster! you’ve grown so thin!” I exclaimed in delighted surprise. “Allow me to fatten you up a little!”
Suddenly, the once large Orthros grew to be giant, before becoming enormous, and then monumental. Why, he stood clear over the top of his enclosure, his furry eyelids parting to reveal a set of yellow, drowsy eyes, staring angrily at a lobby full of stunned ponies.
Panic and laughter then resounded about the room, myself being responsible for one of those things. The Orthros then began snapping and barking at everything around him, trying desperately to claw his way out of his pit. Unfortunately, the little devil was too big to escape his enclosure, as his fat little body was too wide to fit in the lobby. Why, that simply wouldn’t do!
Luckily, most of the bottom floor of the Exgalloper held many little exhibits with exotic animals from all over Equestria, just itching to get out!
Why, I even saw a parasprite in a little cage, giving me the cutest little pair of guuguu eyes I had ever seen. It wanted to get out so bad, and who was I to deny him freedom?
“en avant, petit testicule floue!” I shouted as his cage melted cage away. Suddenly, the little ball of glee and hunger flew forth, gobbling every piece of edible material in sight.
One parasprite became two, which became 45, which turned into an uncountable cloud of insatiably adorable hunger. One Manticore, a cockatrice, and a small pack of Timberwolves later, and I went to go see how the Orthros was doing. Much to my surprise, he was gone! Where could he have gotten to? The lobby was simply too small to house him, not to mention there was a curious lack of utter destruction which he would have surely left, as the lobby looked intact. relatively, of course.
And then it hit me.
It literally hit me.
A little brick fell on my head, causing me to look up, only to see the oversized butt of a dog born in Tartarus, ripping through the upper floors of the casino. Why, I didn’t know he had it in him! I summoned a trusty umbrella and floated up after him, taking care to dodge the torrent of rubble he left falling in his wake. He tore straight through the upper gambling deck, a few levels of suites, and an indoor pool somewhere above. I was thankful that, of all things, I had chose an umbrella to float myself up with.
It wasn’t long before he reached the top, leaving a beautiful orange sky where a dog butt used to be. As I ascended to the roof, I got the most beautiful view of the Las Pegasus cityscape, with all the lavish and beautiful casinos laid out beside the strip. It was a view like none other, which was so abruptly obscured by the nebula of parasprites that flew from the food decks, before scattering across the vast city.
I took a deep breath and put my claw and paw to my hips. Chaos at it’s finest! And the best part, was it’s all justified! We’ll see if they mistreat Fluttershy ever again!
That’s when I caught sight of the Orthros soaring through the air. I almost couldn't believe it, which is absolutely incredible by my standards. The Orthros had jumped, and was now soaring over several other huge casinos. And by the trajectory of it… it looked as if he was going to land straight on Celestia’s Palace! The Casino of course.
Why, I couldn’t have that! They didn't do anything!
With a small wave of my hands, I turned the Orthros around, sending him flying back towards my rooftop. I heard the screams from all the tourists below as they watched the truly monstrous creature barrel at dangerous speeds toward the building, which would surely collapse upon impact.
“Alright, that’s enough!” I yelled, magically amplifying my voice to everyone below. I snapped my fingers, and suddenly, the Orthros hung suspended there in mid-air. I saw the colorful cloud above the city come to a complete standstill, and a few stray timberwolves that had gotten out of the casino froze in their spots.
I floated down to the streets, which was filled with police ponies, journalists, and a large section of the Royal Guard, and of course, a throng of panicking tourists.
“Today, I saw my friend mistreated by a few of the staff members inside the Exgalloper,” I started, putting my claw to my heart in a show of sadness… “So I took it upon myself mistreat your building,” I gave a smug grin as stupefied silence befell the once disorderly mob.
Suddenly, there was a huge crashing noise, and I turned around to see the huge casino tumbling down towards the street, and a huge collective, bloodcurdling scream spread through the crowd like wildfire.
I yawned and snapped my fingers, catching the building as it fell in midair.
It took the crowd a few moments to realize I was holding it up, but once they did, the screams died down into nervous chatter.
“The moral of all this?” I yelled to everyone. “Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.”
Heh, I would have never guess that I would be giving a friendship lesson.
With another snap of my fingers, the Parasprites all flew back into the building, which hovered into place and set itself back into it’s foundation. Glass and brick reassembled themselves, as the Orthros was shrunk back down and placed back in it’s pen. The Timberwolves were sucked back inside by an invisible vacuum, along with a frightened cockatrice, which was flapping it’s wings wildly.
I then walked off as if nothing happened.
I rode home and met up with Fluttershy, Dash and Applejack, who ganged up on me as I strolled through town.
“What in tarnation took ya so long!” Applejack yelled at me, only to have an equally ticked off Rainbow Dash chime in:
“Yeah, we didn't see you on the train! You didn't do anything fishy while you were gone, did you?”
I folded my arms and said resolutely, “What happens in Pegasus, stays in Pegasus!”
>mfw I rebuilt the Exgalloper upside down.