//------------------------------// // The Quest for Applestuff (finale) // Story: The Sunshine Chronicles // by TwilightUCrazy //------------------------------// The day had been a miserable one filled with feasting on fields of grass in the park, earning her strange stares and chuckles. She'd tried to bargain for a meal at a restaurant, but the fact that she'd forgotten her bit purse at home had made that point null and void. She'd settled for another patch of early dandelions near day's end before deciding to head home with the strength she had left. Heaving a deep sigh, her tired green eyes met the glistening millions of apples of her farm reflecting the moonlight off their flawless surfaces. Each and every one of them cried out to be eaten. She was sure she could knock an entire tree loose of its tasty cargo and devour it all, and still have room enough left for a tasty dessert. As she wandered back onto Sweet Apple Acres proper, the sweet scent of apples enticed her stomach back to life. It rumbled uncomfortably with the hours of sub-par eats it had had to endure, and protested her neglect with the utmost vigor. Surely, she thought, surely the trees wouldn't be trapped. All she'd tried all day were things that were fattening; everything her body had screamed at her to eat. And every one of those things had been booby trapped to keep her out and fit. It made little sense. No matter where she went, it was like somepony was a trot, skip and a jump ahead of her every time. Sighing in exasperation and bracing herself for the worst, Applejack approached her favorite tree to eat from. Tasty Ted always gave the best-tasting fruit, and she tended to keep his harvests all to herself. Applejack closed her eyes and bit her lip as she turned to face away from him. Raising a back leg, she kicked out against the trunk of the tree, sending its branches aquiver and knocking several dozen apples to the earth in a rainstorm of thuds. She paused. She waited. A cold, evening breeze tickled her ears and ruffled through her mane. The leaves hissed softly in the cool evening. But no rabid wolverine attacked her. No parasprites came out of nowhere to devour her hoard. No magic spell turned the apples to crystals. Nothing moved. Nothing happened. Inhaling a breath of relief, Applejack finally allowed herself to smile. She looked through the pile of apples she’d knocked loose and rooted around for the best one of the bunch. “Hah!” she scoffed, spotting the perfect specimen glinting in the moonlight. It was plump, had a perfect sheen, and excellent color, and had landed in the soft grass. She trotted over triumphantly and made to claim it. “No roughage diets fer me, thanks!” Her hoof brushed against the skin. “INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!” she heard from the tree overhead. Her orange coat paled several shades as her eyes widened in recognition. “Oh, you gotta be kiddin' m-” NYOINK! Applejack squeaked in surprise as a large lasso tightened around her fetlocks. She was yanked up off the ground by all four legs, and bobbed about on the tense rope that hung from the tree branch. She dangled like a piñata and swung back and forth before being brought to a dizzy stop by gravity. Once she had gained a sense of what had happened to her, her blood began to boil. Her first thought was to find the culprits and introduce them to the process of making applesauce in a very personal manner. The second thought was of the growing pain she felt from all the blood suddenly rushing to her head. A small bush nearby rustled, and out sprang three young fillies, who trotted over to observe her. She recognized their outlines, even in the dark of the night. A blood vessel in the farmpony’s forehead throbbed. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER TRAP-MAKERS! YAY!” the trio high-hooved. “APPLEBLOOM!” Applejack yelled in uncontained fury. “You get me down from here this instant, little filly!” “Uh oh…” muttered Scootaloo, her ears falling. “Is it past our bedtime already?” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “I don’t think that’s what she’s mad about, you peacock.” “Hey!” “ALL O’ YOU!” Applejack bellowed loud enough to wake the dead. “Y'all better cut me down this instant, or so help me Celestia, I’m gonna give ya blisters fer cutie marks!” All three fillies flinched. Applebloom's ears pinned back in fear of her coming punishment, and she looked between her two friends. "Come on, you guys. Let's get this over with..." Her little sister produced a small switchblade, and Applejack couldn't help but wonder where she procured such a thing. The sound of sawing met her ears, and the next moment she knew, she was on the soft ground. The three fillies let go of the rope and trundled over. "That's more like it. Now if y'all would be so kind as to-MMPH!" An apple immediately found itself lodged in her teeth. All the rage in the world wouldn't have been enough to dwarf Applejack's temper in that moment. "C'mon," Applebloom said hurriedly. "Let's get 'er upstairs." "Ready!" shouted the other two. Sweetie Belle carried over what looked like some kind of bar. Her horn sparkled green, lighting up around the bar and slipping it between her fore and hind legs.. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!" Applejack muffled around the apple, her ears steaming from purest anger as Scootaloo and Applebloom each grabbed a side of the bar. Oh, don't you dare, little filly! she thought gravely. "Sweetie Belle, you can help Scootaloo with that side. I got this side." Oh, they dared... "MMMMPPH-MMPH-MMPH-MMPH-MMPH-MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!" she struggled to get out. The apple was wedged tightly in, however. "C'mon, let's go, already!" Scootaloo complained. "She's heavy! And I think she's getting madder!" "Take it easy, dodo. We're going." Sweetie Belle said playfully, grabbing the bar in her teeth. The three carried Applejack inside and towards the stairway. She felt her backside smack against every single step as her sister and her friends hauled her upward. By then, her furious, muffled shouts had devolved into frustrated mumbles. She didn't have the energy leftover to maintain her fury for long. As they reached the second floor, Applebloom kicked open the door to her and Rainbow’s room and carried her in upside down. Somehow, she just knew... She didn’t need the proper perspective or viewing angle to see her wife in the combat helmet and black paint on her cheeks. She was decked out for war, and it was all against her, she realized. “Rainbow Dash! We caught her nine times today!” chirped Scootaloo proudly, puffing out her chest. Applejack rotated her head, and she narrowed her eyes dangerously at the pegasus as she trotted into view. She angled her head towards the floor, bit hard on the apple, and spat out the remains. “PTOOIE! I shoulda known you had somethin’ to do with this!” she grunted, wiggling around on the crossbeam she was fixed to. Rainbow puffed on her bubble pipe and grinned straight at her. “Well done, troops! Go have a couple bottles of apple juice on me to celebrate!” The Crusaders cheered as one and clattered down the hallway and downstairs, leaving the two of them alone. Applejack focused her eyes on her mate, as if willing to lobotomize her with her stare alone. Rainbow kicked the door shut and locked it before picking her up and depositing her on the soft bed. She only glared harder. “In case you're wondering, I told Granny Smith that apples would be bad if we were having a pegasus foal. Something about stunting their wing growth or something.” The pegasus grinned. “She bought it hook, line and sinker.” Her green eyes narrowed. “Then this... this whole 'no-sweet diet' business was yer idea the whole time?” Rainbow Dash grinned even wider. “Yup!” She paused, her lower eyelid twitching. She felt something in her psyche fray and strain, as if it were a rubber band being stretched to its absolute limits. "And all them traps...?" Rainbow chuckled. "Also my idea." Applejack gaped dumbly. For once in her life, she didn't know what to say to her wife. “W-why you... you...!” Her mate perked an ear, and Applejack lost her cool. "Why you featherbrained, mangy, no-good stool pigeon! I oughta get a sack of taters and beat you merciless fer this!" Rainbow Dash blinked and frowned. “‘Mangy stool pigeon,’ huh?” Her wife made a face and snorted. “And here I was thinking,” she paused, hopping off the bed and reaching for something underneath, “about letting you have this.” Applejack's attitude did a complete one-eighty at break-neck speeds. Her heart frozen with icy malice wanted nothing more than to grab her precious mate and squeeze her when she watched the tray of food emerge. There was a small pile of apple fritters, an apple salad heavily soaked with dressing and topped with croutons, and a giant, frothing mug of apple cider, all just waiting to be consumed. Her stomach growled and whimpered thankfully. It was almost too beautiful a sight for words. Rainbow Dash's scowl morphed into a warm and loving smile. "There's seconds of everything downstairs, too. And there's your leftover birthday cake and an apple pie for dessert." Applejack broke down and wept. “Oh, Rainbow!” she tearfully squeaked, bouncing elatedly on the mattress to the best of her ability, “I love ya to death! I’m sorry I called ya such a mean thing!” "Where's all this comin' from?" Rainbow asked with a playful smirk, chuckling smugly. "What happened to 'mangy stool pigeon'?" She couldn't help it. The tickle in her stomach was just too much, and the farmpony chuckled heartily. "Yer still a mangy stool pigeon, but yer a mangy stool pigeon who brought the goods." The pegasus winked and leaned in for an affectionate nuzzle. "Hey, if I gotta stop messing with you while you're pregnant, I wanted this last prank to last me a good long time." Their muzzles parted and Applejack's eyes softened, her brow smoothing over. “It's okay if'n ya make fun now,” Applejack said. “When I start getting' mah moodswings though, ya better watch it around me. 'Cause I'm gonna remember this...” Rainbow Dash giggled into her hoof. “I'll keep that in mind. You looked like you were ready to kill me. I'd hate to see what you'd do when your hormones start messing with ya.” Her wife laid the tray on the nightstand and returned her attention to her again. “So what do you say to one of Sweet Apple Acres' finest meals to take the edge off?" Already the drool factory kicked in and Applejack licked her lips in anticipation. “I'd love that right about now.” She blinked and paused. “Umm... c-could ya untie me first, though?” Applejack asked, struggling with the rope. “Kinda hard to eat with my hooves all done up.” Rainbow smirked and leaned in, grabbing a fritter off the tray and holding it tantalizingly close. “What say I feed it to you instead?” Her mate put on a sultry smile and leaned in close enough to tickle Applejack’s nose with her breath. “Then we’ll see what you feel like getting up to after that…” The farmpony bit her lip and giggled, her freckles swimming in a sea of red. “You feed me quick enough, and I just might do some tricks for ya...” she winked. Rainbow's wings flared involuntarily. "Fastest-meal-ever, coming right up!" her wife said excitedly, and reached forward with the fritter. The instant Applejack’s teeth touched it… “INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!” Applejack's face was one of horror at the tell-tale sound of a trap being unleashed. Her eyes looked frantically every which way for the source of the incoming threat. “B-but... no... wait... I didn't-!” Mechanisms were set in motion nearby. She shrieked. Something popped out of a panel in a nearby wall. She didn't see it coming. Rainbow Dash, however, did. She yelped in surprise and threw her forehooves around Applejack before shooting up towards the ceiling. The low-voltage wire netting that sprang out of some unseen corner of the room shaved past the longest lengths of her tail with only millimeters to spare. Applejack, still bound and tied, was wide-eyed and pale, and stared at the sparking metallic lattice covering the comforters. She looked at her mate with pinprick irises, then down to the apple fritter that had sacrificed itself for her. "Wow... they're good..." Rainbow muttered disbelievingly, before looking back to her wife. Moonlight reflected off the sweat dotting her brow and she chuckled nervously. "Uhh... are you okay?” Nodding in spite of her tremors, the farmpony gulped, and looked back down to their bed. "I think I might need to have a talk about 'Twilight Time' with our little princess. I ain't sure I like what she's teachin' 'em over there..."