The Dragonborn comes

by trickypentagram


Thunder crashes

Raptor was rather easily amused, but after hours of uneventful travel even he was bored out of his mind. The Argonian looked up at the sky. Dark clouds were moving across the sky, making the evening even darker.
“Just… just a little farther.” Raptor yawned as he looked down the road. Thunder rumbled in the distance and rain began to fall. He could see a small town in the distance, lit by torches. It looked like the town where he was freed from being a statue. He hadn’t seen it from a distance before though, so he couldn’t say for sure.
Raptor groaned. What was he doing? He was nowhere near Skyrim, and the laws here made it illegal to loot and kill. He tried to think of a plan as he scratched his chin. ‘Maybe… no, that wouldn’t work. Maybe… no definitely not that. Well, I could always… I know! I’ll see if I can summon my ghost horse here!’
*poof*
“Well what do you know, it works in Equestria. Hey there, Arvak, my trusty talking stead!”
“Greetings, master. How are you faring on this adventure?”
“Let me tell ya’ pal, it’s sucking some major balls right now. A couple days ago I was just looting and killing monsters, when all of a sudden I got arrested! Like, what the hell’s up with that?”
“Perhaps their society operates on a different set of morals than the ones you are used to.”
“Yeah, but why do they have to be such pricks about it? I mean, they’re magic horses. They could be cool if they weren’t trying to stop me from adventuring.”
“They seem to be a very passive species, though a potentially powerful one. I advise you not to anger them any more than is necessary. It would be useful to have allies to turn to in this strange land.”
“Say, Arvak.”
“Yes master?”
“You’re kind of a horse, right? I mean, you’re all bony and glowing and shit, but you’re still a horse?”
“I could be called one, yes.”
“Well how do I get these guys to like me? I mean, I’ve got to be one of the coolest Argonians alive. I’m decked out in this awesome Daedric armor, and the ponies for some reason didn’t confiscate any of my gear. Say, speaking of that, why in the world did they let me keep my weapons and supplies?”
“Most likely because they had no way of detecting the presence of your equipment from simply looking at you.”
“Hmm… Arvak, where the hell do I keep all this equipment? I've got to be carrying at least a few dozen swords!"
“I’m sorry Raptor, there are somethings that are not meant to be known by mortals. Perhaps in death you shall find your answer."
“Huh?”
“I must leave you now master, for my time grows short.”
“No, Arvak, why?”
“Because there are ponies nearing you on the path, and my presence may convince them that you are a necromancer. I am also called away by the great being Nair Aeter. Farewell my liege.”
The ghostly horse faded away into the night, leaving behind no trace except for the faint smell of brimstone.
As rain fell down onto the dirt path, Raptor looked ahead and noticed the ponies Arvak had mentioned. There were three: a white unicorn, a khaki pegasus wearing a green vest and pith helmet, and a black and red alicorn wearing outrageous armor, and a styled mane to match.
As they entered speaking range, Raptor called out to the trio: “Hey, what’s up you guys? Have you seen any monsters on your journey that need slaying?”
The ponies walked up to Raptor, and he was able to better discern their features. The female white unicorn had a spiky two-toned blue mane, and a musical note for her cutie mark. (Raptor had been completely baffled upon learning about cutie marks and their purpose, but by now he had gotten the hang of it.) The female pegasus wore a vest and helmet, and was reading a waterproof map. The male alicorn wore some type of spiked black armor, the same color as his coat. He had a red spiky mane and tail, and his eyes seemed reptilian.
“Hey there bro, like, what kind of freaky monster are you?” The alicorn asked.
“I’m an Argonian. I’m assuming you’ve never seen one before?”
The khaki pegasus now spoke. “You look like some kind of dragon, but I’ve never seen one quite like you before. The closest I’ve seen was the little purple guy back in Ponyville.”
“There’s… a dragon in Ponyville?” Raptor asked, barely able to contain his excitement.
“Yeah, real little fellow, doesn’t quite reach your knee. Helps the librarian.”
Raptor now had significantly less difficulty containing his excitement, but the prospect of a dragon still interested him.
“Good to know, but who are you three?”
The alicorn spoke first. “I’m Bloodrain Eclipse Blackguard, a rogue alicorn warrior. I was originally named Marty Stu, but I took my warrior name after slaying Asmodian, the Daemon warlord of Tartarus. I travel the land banging all the hot babes and killing monsters.”
“Killing… monsters?”
“You know it!”
“And… you haven’t been arrested or anything?”
“Nope. I guess my swag is just too much for the authorities to handle. Booyah!” He extended a front leg and received a high-five (or whatever ponies call it) from the white unicorn.
“And I’m Daring Do, adventurer extraordinaire and professor of archeology at Canterlot University. I joined these guys after they helped me out of a little jam. Turns out all I needed was a couple friends to defeat Ahuizhotl once and for all.”
“YOU KNOW IT!” The black alicorn shouted, receiving another high-five from the unicorn.
“And I’m Vinyl Scratch, the top DJ in Equestria. Where I go, sick wubs and bass drops follow.”
“And she’s THE most bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious pony on the CONTINENT!” Bloodrain exclaimed.
“You betcha!” The DJ agreed.
Now, Raptor had encountered his fair share of adventurers in his time. Some he had passed after exchanging a few words. Some he slew in combat. And some were just plain weird. The weird ones tended to fall equally into the first two categories, and Raptor had to admit that he wasn’t quite sure what to make of the ponies in front of him.
“So… anyways… do you guys have anything you want to trade?”
“Buck yeah, we’ve got potions and weapons, what do you want?”
“Well, what do you have?”
Vinyl pulled out an impossibly large locked chest and set it on the ground. After she opened it up, Raptor was astonished.
“What are these things?”
“What, you’ve never seen a dubstep gun? These things shoot out awesome colored beams whenever wubs start playing. And this thing?” Vinyl reached down to pat a massive metal contraption. “This baby’s called Sasha. She weighs one hundred fifty kilos and fires custom rounds that cost two hundred bits apiece. At a rate of TEN THOUSAND rounds per MINUTE.” Vinyl narrowed her eyes and leaned towards Raptor. “It costs four hundred thousand bits… to fire her for TWELVE SECONDS. Can you handle that kind of firepower my friend? Can you?”
“Uh… do you have anything that’s perhaps a bit easier on the purse?”
“Of course. You know what the Beaver Scouts’ motto is: Don’t be silly, wrap your willy. And the Colt Scouts’ motto is even better: Always be prepared. And that’s why we adventurers always travel with a wide assortment of weapons, suited for all your killing needs.”
“I thought you guys were adventurers, not merchants.”
“Buddy, you name it, we’ve done it or own it.”
Vinyl levitated up a simple hand-and-a-half sword and a map. “Listen, maybe you’re just starting out and you need a good weapon and some directions. Or maybe you’re battle worn veteran. But believe me, this adamantium-alloy sword is indestructible. It’s over a millennium old, but it’s just as sharp and unscratched as when it was forged. We came across a massive cache of these a ways back, so we can afford to part with a few. And the map contains the locations of all the major cities and roadways in Equestria, a useful piece of equipment for any adventurer.”
“Indestructible you say?” Raptor said doubtfully.
“Manticore hide? Think butter. Basilisk scales? Try herring scales. If you’ve got the strength to swing it, you’ve got yourself a mighty fine sword.”
“What about dragon scales?”
“Pfft, as if you’ll be fighting dragons any time soon. But if any non-enchanted weapon can pierce their skin, I’d be putting my bits on this one.”
The Argonian mulled over his options. On the one hand he could just kill them and steal their equipment, but he was a little too close to Ponyville to feel safe doing so. He could just take this offer, a map would be useful. Or he could just continue on his-
“Hey, we haven’t got all evening dude,” Bloodrain spoke up. “we’ve got ponies to do and things to see.”
“Yeah, I’ll take the sword and map. How much is it?”
“Fifteen thousand bits for the sword, the map comes with it for free.”
“How about some gold ore for the map and we’ll call it even?”
“Sure, your loss for not taking the sword.”
After exchanging the items Raptor pocketed the map and continued down the path. He had been hoping for a reason to fight them, but in the end it might not have been entirely worth the trouble. Oh well.
Raptor continued walking towards Ponyville and stopped when he heard a voice behind him.
"Greetings, traveler." A wavering voice whispered.
Raptor spun around and saw a ghostly wisp hovering above the ground.
“What do you want?”
“I give you a task, two riddles I ask. If the answers you can unmask, something something that rhymes with ask.”
“What?”
“Shut up and answer my riddles alright?”
“Go ahead.”
The specter began. “The poor have it, the rich need it, it is greater than the magic of Aetherius, and you hate it. What is it?”
“Can you ask me a different one?”
“Uh, I guess so. Alright, what crime can you get arrested for if you attempt it, but not if you commit it?”
Raptor thought for a moment and answered: “Evading arrest.”
“Precisely. Have you got the answer to the first one yet?”
“Nah, it’s a real stumper. Do another one.”
“I mean, it’s one that only you or someone familiar with you could answer. You sure you don’t want to take a crack at it? It’s nothing you couldn’t handle.”
“No, just ask another one.”
“Very well. I have a cover, yet I wear no clothing. I am full of words, but I remain silent. Others can learn from me, and yet I say nothing to them. What am I?”
“A mute, naked, and telepathic teacher?”
“No. Guess again.”
“A blushing zebra?”
“No.”
“Three of the men were actually married, so when it said every single man died-“
“Do you even remember the riddle I gave you?”
“…”
“…”
“No.”
“Whatever. I was going to give you the power of teleportation, but it seems you’re too dimwitted to answer my riddles. I’m going to find one more worthy of my gift.”
The smoky tendrils of the ghost floated away, seeking a wiser adventurer.
Raptor walked on into Ponyville, seeking a restaurant that sold sweet rolls.
After exiting the bakery dubbed ‘Sugarcube Corner’, Raptor made his way towards the town library while munching on a sweet roll. The pink pony had been happy to sell it to him, despite his entrance scaring away all the other customers. Raptor could’ve sworn she was one of the ponies who had wielded the Elements of Harmony, but she had just laughed when he asked her about it. He took another bite and licked his lips. It wasn’t the same as the ones in Skyrim, but it was certainly delicious. He popped the last piece into his mouth and reached the town library.
Raptor stepped inside and looked around. It was lit, but he didn’t see anyone inside.
“Hello? Small purple dragon, you in here?”
“…”
“You know, I’ve killed dragons waaay bigger than you. But that’s no reason to be scared of me!”
“…”
“Alright, that might be a perfectly legitimate to be scared of me, but you haven’t even met me yet! I’m a swell guy!”
“…”
“Alright you little shit, if I have to ransack this place to find you, I will.”
Raptor walked upstairs to try and find the dragon. If there was one thing he wanted to find right now, it was a link to his old life. And a dragon seemed just the place to start.
Once he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed a purple creature lying on a bed, partially covered by a blanket. Raptor was giddy with excitement. He hadn’t killed a dragon in weeks! Now was his first opportunity to rid this land of a foul dragon. Admittedly it didn’t seem like a terribly big one, but a dragon was a dragon.
Words ran through Raptor’s mind as he prepared to kill the beast. Words that had followed him through life. Words of a prophecy, and its fulfillment.
For though the dragons rode upon the wind with their great wings,
And though they razed the ground with their unholy fire,
Unchallenged in might,
There is one they fear.
In their tongue he is Dovahkiin:
DRAGONBORN!
“FUS”
“ROH”
The purple figure stirred and sat up in bed. “Who in Equestria are you?”
“DAH!”
Twilight Sparkle screamed as she was propelled through the newly made hole in the library wall.
Raptor called out: “Sorry about that! Well, not really, you kind of seemed a little bitchy last time I saw you. But I thought you were a dragon, so don’t take this too personally. Mind if I check out a few books?”
There was no answer as Twilight lay groaning on the lawn, pulling splinters out of her flesh with her telekinesis.
“I’ll assume that’s a yes!” The Argonian yelled out the hole in the wall.
Raptor left the library holding an armful of books. He had found one on Equestrian history, but quickly discarded it in favor of ‘A Complete Guide to Equestrian Beasts, Monsters, and Abominations’ and some books on something called the Everfree Forest.
About 40 meters away from the library Raptor passed a yellow pegasus.
“Oh… oh my. Is that a hole in the library?”
Raptor turned around.
“No, I don’t see it.”
“But… it’s huge and you can see straight into the upper floor from here. Something definitely made a hole.”
“I still don’t see that hole you’re talking about. You feeling alright?”
“Well, I had gone to the store to get some medicine for my stomach cramps. But I don’t really think stomach cram-“
“You’ve obviously never studied medicine then.”
“Actually, I’m technically a certified veterina-“
“Stomach cramps can be a symptom of a great many terrible diseases, the one of the most prevalent being Ketostrychoacidosiscephaliosis. The disease’s symptoms also include-“
“I… I really don’t think I have-“
“hallucinations, sallow skin, bloodshot eyes, stomach cramps, and profuse sweating.”
“I’m always yellow, I’m tired, I probably ate something spoiled, and it’s at least ninety degrees out here.”
“You say it’s ninety degrees? Well add hypersensitivity to temperature to your list of symptoms, because believe me, it’s much closer to thirty out here.”
“Equestria uses the Fahrenheit syste-“
“My dear, as much of a delight it is to hear you ramble on about your life, I’ve got places to be. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to some place called the Everfree Forest to kill monsters. If would please point me in the direction of the forest?”
The pegasus made a sweeping motion with her foreleg. “It pretty much surrounds the town except for the east side. Wait… did you say kill monsters?”
Raptor was already on his way as the pegasus called out after him.
A unicorn groggily walked up to the pegasus.
“Fluttershy, why didn’t you stop him!? He destroyed part of the library!”
“Oh, I’m sorry Twilight. I didn’t know. He did that? How?”
“I don’t really know, he just seemed to shout, and the next thing I knew my head hurt and I was pulling splinters out.”
Fluttershy put her wing around her friend and led her to the Ponyville Hospital to get her wounds treated. After filing a report with the town police, it was decided that the tall figure was the self-identified Argonian who had recently escaped custody in Canterlot. Twilight was assured by the police that they would find and arrest the criminal, but she had serious doubts. Being part of a town meant a few things. It meant that everypony knew everypony, or at least Pinkie Pie knew everypony. It also meant that at least once a month the plumbing would explode in Town Hall, the mayor was half incompetent, and that the town’s police force consisted of only two ponies. Twilight had read many books in her life, and though she was an otherwise level-headed pony, in her childhood she had been convinced by the many mysteries she read that sometimes vigilantism was the only solution.
“Fluttershy, the town’s police are inept, and that broken wall won’t pay for itself.”
“You… you do have insurance, right?”
“Fluttershy, it’s time to take matters into our own hooves. There’s a menace to society running loose, and it’s our duty to reel him in.”
“Maybe it’d just be best to-“
“We’ve sat on our haunches enough. It’s time to take action!”
“We’ve gone out on a lot of adventures before, and every time were underprepared, underequipped, and unqualified to take on the mission. Are you sure you wan-“
“We may only get one shot before he disappears too deep into the Everfree Forest; the time to strike is now.”
“Are you sure you don’t just want to capture him so you can learn what an Argonian is?”
“For justice. For Celestia. For EQUESTRIA!”
And so the night went on. Twilight vowed to apprehend the criminal as soon as she was discharged from the hospital, and Fluttershy rolled her eyes.
And Raptor found a dungeon.
“Say, this looks like a dungeon!”
“…”
“…”
Perhaps Raptor should explore the dungeon, yes?
“It’d probably be a good idea to set up camp outside the entrance. It’d be good to rest, wouldn’t want to get fatigued during a dungeon raid.”
Raptor inexplicably forgets that his Argonian physiology combined with a lifetime of intense training and stamina potions has given him incredible fitness and stamina. But no matter, if he wishes he may rest.
“Actually, there’s a river nearby. Maybe I’ll go see what kind of fish live here.”
Or fish. He can go fishing if he wants, it’s up to him.
“Or I could see how long I can yodel before I draw a monster to me. The book said yodeling infuriates Harpies. I wonder if there are any Harpies around… hmm… nope, book says they live on the cliffs underneath Canterlot.”
Raptor can do whatever he wishes. He’s free to ignore the incredibly fascinating dungeon right next to him. Go ahead. He can see if anybody cares, nobody does.
“On second thought, they might be ruins left by an ancient race that contains a dangerous secret. I should probably explore the ruins, just in case it houses some kind of enchanted weapon or huge monster.”
Raptor is finally getting the idea. Our hero now readies himself to enter the ruins.
“And that’s a task for the morning. Right now, I’ve got sleeping to do.”
Though annoyed, our valiant narrator does not waver from his job. He will patiently wait for morning and the next chapter.