//------------------------------// // Chapter Five: (Lyra POV): Oh what fun it is to ride and sing~~. // Story: Snow Job. // by overlord-flinx //------------------------------// The world is cruel... The world is wicked... There is no one to whom you may trust; not the ones who feed you, dress you, bathe you, or love you. Everyone just wants something from you or something for you to do for them. Because the world is cruel... The world is wicked... It's you alone who you can trust in the entire world. And even you secretly want to hurt yourself. It's only human nature to. Self loathing. It's what we all feel deep down. Deep, deep, deep down... ...SNORE...! Blah-blah-BLA-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH! Blah with a big ol' floppin' tongue wraggling between your lips. Now I didn't say wiggling or wagging; I said wraggling. It's when your tongue wragles. Give it a try. BLAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH! Now you're wraggling! And wraggling your floppy tongue is exactly what you should do to snore-bore talk like this. SNORE! Snore with a piggy-pig snort and a finger against your nose to crinkle for the effect. It's just boring. B to the O-R-N-G. But people THINK like that, can you believe it? Such a waste of perfectly good life! I mean... Why look at the world so flat and black? Why not -woopsidoodle!- flip on your nog, kick up your legs, and stand on the sky? Look at the world how aliens do! Upside down and inside out if you can manage it. I haven't mastered inside out just yet, but I can bet a silver doll-hair that the world will look even more amazing like that! Now, take a itty-bitty leap back. I don't believe in aliens, that was one of them figurements of speech! But could you just imagine if there were aliens? I'd bet they would live off of trees. So cools... Buuuuut! Enough with the chitty-chatty-bang-bang; my name is Lyra Heartstrings, and I love mu~~~~~sic~~~~! And I love parkas, socks and saddles, horses, butter on the bottom, green eggs with my green ham, boiled goose, being an adult, setting fires, lifting, and most of all...! Sleeping. I mean, I sleep hard. I can sleep like you wouldn't believe. In preschool, all the other kids would get toys so they'd behave during nap time; but not me. Know why? Because Lyra was already snuggled under the Huggy Castle in her sleeping bag like a caterpillar! I can sleep like a CHAMP. Out like a light in ten seconds flat. Out in zero if you slip me a cup of hot coco moo. There I go again. URGH! Yak-yak-yak! I just can't stop sometimes. When I get rolling, I just keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. What? Just keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. Yeah. That's me. Talking a million miles a minute without a care in the world. My gal-pal Bon says I'm a real chatter box... And that I need to stop eating all of the crackers without throwing out the box. What I want to know is how does she know I'm the one eating out of the box? She's got -like- ten sisters! They could be doing it! Eh, whatever's clever. And that's Bon for you, always so damn clever. Me? Nah! I'm not clever; I'm crafty. Crafty like a fox or Craft Mac and Cheese... Real craft... Or daft. I mix the two up. Can you really blame me? Daft, craft, daft, craft, daft, craft, daft, craft, daft, raft, daft, craft. See? I even snuck a third word in there and you didn't notice! I'm that crafty. Like the wind... WooOOoooOOoooOOoo crafty~~~~~. You can't see, but I'm waving my arms out like a ghost right now to show you how crafty I am. I think it's freaking out this girl I just met. Octavia's her name; but you know that, don't you? You're one of those magic elves that listen in on the mind and watch as the world goes by. I like to think I'm sort of like that myself. Even now, I'm watching everyone around me right now in this check-in spotty-thing. Octavia's here with a girl that's got some freaky blue hair. I mean... My hair's kinda toothpaste green, so we're even on the oddball depot. But, my hair is silky and glistens in the morning glow like all the ads say it should. Her's looks crusty... Good color though. Two thumbs up! So, Octavia is clearly with her. She's looking at the back of the girl's head, whenever she makes a move Octavia makes a little twitch, and Octavia's bags match the nappy-nap sack hoisted around blue-hair's shoulder! Either they're together, or Octavia's one of those kinky voyeurs... Nah. If she was, she'd be lookin' at my piggies. I like to take the liberty when I can for any place's shoe policy. If I see there's no rule about having to wear shoes on the property, you best be believing my piggies will be oinking free! Unless Bon's around... She makes me wear my shoes and dress normal when she's hanging over me like a storm cloud. Buuuuut... Bon's not here, is she? Nope! It's Lyra's free snowboard fun weekend! Buuuuut... I guess I'll put on some saddles and socks before I hit the slopes... Frostbite hurts! I should know. I once had frostbite over my ENTIRE front. From toes to tip, red blisters and frostbite. How? I went sledding like a penguin down a ski slope... It was really fun! Well worth the three months in the ER. But, now I'm here alone to board the trails and shred the powder, bra. Yolo-swag-four-twenty-just-blaze-cabbage, Brostradomus. Yeah... But- hmmm... Maybe I'll keep a little third-eye-blind on these two, yeah? Snowboarding's fun, but watching two lovey-dovey's trip over each other WHILE I snowboard can be way more fun! OH! The fun of this weekend has been doubled!