“What I want to know is...” Lancie leaned out of Rainbow's saddlebag, resting his front paws on her shoulder. “...what does she see in the guy?”
Rainbow replied over the sound of whipping winds. “Eh, what any mare sees in a stallion.” Rainbow shrugged, wiping her goggles to clear them of condensation. She rounded a cloudbank and descented through a wave of early morning mists. “He's big... soft-spoken... polite... big... ehhhh...” She blinked. “...did I mention big?”
“Now you have me immeasurably curious.” Lancie smirked, propping his fanged mouth against a stone talon. “Just what do you see in a gal?”
“Ugh... let's not get into that.”
“Because Applejack's 'big.'”
“Pffft! She is not!”
“She's bigger than you.”
“Make a friggin' list.” Rainbow banked to the side, wings spread. Her body coiled tightly, her limbs strong and receptive with the flow of the medicine in her veins. “Back to the topic at hoof: I think Zecora's really attracted to a pony who values hard work, simplicity, and consistency. All of those—I guess—are embodied in Big Mac.”
“Yes, but from what I hear, he's busying embodying in body with somebody else.”
“Yeah, and?”
“And, Spark, you strike me as a soul who's far too well-acquainted with ticking time bombs. So why light another fuse?”
“I don't get what you mean.”
“Oh please. Not even you can be that stupid.”
“Hrmmmf...”
“Better yet—stop assuming that everypony in this world is half as stupid as you,” he said with a grunt. “The Secret Life of Rainbow Dash may yet be the genius memoirs that you'll get to spring on an unsuspecting group of avid readers someday, but that doesn't mean that every single secret you weave at the click of a tongue will have nearly as much success fooling anyone.” Lancie stifled a yawn and muttered, “Especially anyone with stripes, a bachelor's degree in shamanism, and a hairdo that would certainly massacre your eyeballs to ribbons once she headbutts you for keeping an infernal secret from her all this time.”
“Look, let me worry about Zecora. She's my friend.”
“And we only hurt the ones we love, huh?”
“Why do you even friggin' care?” Rainbow frowned as she coasted another cloud. “For eons, you've been stuck in limbo, waiting for one thing and one thing alone. What does the soap opera of my best friends' lives do to contribute to you being you?”
“Ah...” He smirked. “So now you present my selfishness as a means of validating and/or ignoring your own?”
“I'm not selfish,” Rainbow Dash said, though she fidgeted in midair. “I'm just... me inclined.”
“Same old song and dance...” Lancie knocked a talon's knuckle on her fuzzy head. “...eggs and waffles poured down your pants.”
“Grnnngh...” Rainbow batted his limb away and descended, ears twitching. “New rule. From here on out, let me just worry about helping you. Unless I specifically ask for it after retrieving a shard, don't go out of your way by your own plan to help me or my friends.”
“What do you take me for, Sparky? An altruist?” He rolled his stone eyes while planting a hoof over his chest. “I wouldn't even dream of it!”
“You're a lot more bearable when you're predictable.”
“I don't know whether to be insulted or to make a plaque out of that last statement.” He shrugged. “Perhaps both.”
“Save it. We're almost there.”
“Almost where?” Lancie held a paw over his eyes and squinted across the oceanic horizon. “All I see is clouds and whale breeding grounds.”
Rainbow Dash smirked. “Wait for it...”
At last, the two pierced the last layer of clouds, and then an enormous island of steel and concrete emerged before them. Skyscrapers sliced the sky while honking freight ships cruised in and out of their ports. Far below, along the Bucklyn Bridge, dense lines of wagons and carriages rolled towards the densely populated island located within the blue, sparkling inlet.
“Manehattan...” Rainbow Dash dove low to fly out of the path of a puttering zeppelin. “Formerly 'Neigh Amsterdam,' but hey... who cares? This city's big and glittery n'all, but if you ask me it's a tad bit overhyped.”
“I hear it's very romantic this time of year.”
“Ugh. Yeah. Let's get this crud over with.” That said, Rainbow dove, flattened her body, and weaved her way through the first of many, many, many buildings.”