//------------------------------// // Truth And Daring // Story: Love, Equestria Style // by Bluecatcinema //------------------------------// The life of running a mafia is never easy. That is what Grimoire's father, Clyde Napoleon, had always told him. Leading a plethora of stallions in doing all sorts of dubious activities, ranging from smuggling priceless artifacts (and giving them to museums, of course), warding off rival gangs seeking to extend their empire by any means necessary, and the occasional but very tasking burial of a dead body, you usually have your hooves full. And then there was your personal life. While this was rarely an issue for Grimoire's younger brothers, Grimoire, having 'accidentally' conceived a child with his now late wife, Sandy, during spring break over thirty years ago, always had to juggle his duties as a mafia don and his duties as a devoted husband and father. It was not easy. But he had no regrets, for in the end, his daughter, Dusty Speck, turned out alright (though she inherited a bit of his fierce temperament), and was now married to Prince Blueblood (making her a princess in the process) and gave him two beautiful grandsons. As for him, with Dusty out of the nest, he was free to devote most of his now-free time to his mafia life. Then came that trip to Ponyville before Caboose's wedding. Grimoire had long given up the prospect of finding another mare in his life when his wife passed. Sandy was one of few mares that accepted him for he was and stood by him as a wife of a mafia don. Sure, it was a rocky start, what with him getting her pregnant and kinda 'forcing' her into marriage, for the sake of protection, but after that, it was true love. Other mares that he come across since his wife's passing usually wanted him to further their standing on the social ladder (apparently, dating a mafia don can do that for you) or worse yet, to carry out some insidious plot devised by criminals and rivals alike. But then came Zecora, a zebra shamare that was both beautiful and wise, a rare combination, and soon enough, Grimoire found himself experiencing the same joys of companionship that he had felt since he married Sandy. He was not the only one, for his brothers, having varying amount of success in their previous relationships with other mares (excluding Caboose), each found a mare that they liked. Murray was now dating May R. Mare, or Mayor Mare, the mayor of Ponyville, Salt was with the town's nurse Redheart, and Sonny and Lars were in a relationship with candy maker Bon-Bon and harpist Lyra respectively. Even Vinny, infamous for being a perverted buzz-kill, and Slot, a tickin' time bomb, found a date in Berry Punch and Vinyl Scratch, a wine connoisseur and DJ. Though each and one of them were initially supposed to be a one-time thing for this wedding alone, none of the brothers could find it within them to let those mares go. So, as Caboose advised them before he went on his honeymoon, they didn't let them go, and things were good. However, a new problem has arisen...and we aren't talking about Twitch here, that's another story. Though calling it new would be inappropriate... more like, an old problem had returned: juggling mafia and personal lives. Each of their mares were completely in the dark to their rather big and dark secret life as mafia men, and each of the brothers wanted to keep it that way, for their safety. However, that proved to be an arduous task, as each and one of the brothers struggled to keep their love lives and their business lives separate, and while they had managed to succeed in doing that so far (albeit a bunch of close calls), it wouldn't be long before they wised up. That is why Grimoire had decided that they would come clean with their mares the next time they came to visit. Though Murray and the others were hesitant about the idea, they agreed that it would be best that they found out now from them rather than from another source. Thus bringing us to today... Grimoire was currently in the mansion's foyer, fixing his tie while looking at a mirror, trying his best to hide the apprehension lining his face. While being the one to had suggested the idea of telling their mares the truth, the don could not help but feel nervous about tonight, and for good reasons: telling your marefriend that you are a leader of an infamous yet charitable crime organization usually turns out to be the mother of all dealbreakers for mares. However, Zecora deserved the truth, and if she doesn't want to be with a mafia don, he will just have to accept that. But if he knew Zecora by now, surely she would understand, would she? The old stallion let out a sigh as he finished perfecting his tie. At least he is not like his brothers... "Hey, had anypony seen my tie?!" Murray asked. "It's around your neck, doof." Slot snorted. "Don't call him a doof!" Vinny cuffed him on the back of the head. "I'll call whoever I want a 'doof'!" Slot retorted. "Easy guys." Salt declared. "This night's stressful enough without these shenanigans." "I still can't believe we're actually going to do this." Sonny declared. "We're really just going to tell him?" "We have to." Lars declared. "They deserve to know the truth." "But what if they leave us?" Murray asked. "May'll probably leave you, Doof." Slot sneered. "Don't even know why she's with you in the first place... Mare must be senile..." "Take that back!" Murray snarled. "Or what?" Slot snarled. "Or I'll just bring up how your girl has terrible taste in music!" Murray smirked. "That's it!" Slot growled, tackling Murray. Murray and Slot started fighting, but the others were on hoof to break it up. "Wow, you guys are tense." The brothers glanced to see Caboose coming in. He had taken time away from his royal guard duty to come home to act as support for his brothers for this night. "Well, we are about to divulge our darkest secrets to our marefriends." Lars pointed out. "Yeah. No pressure or anything." Murray snorted. "Come on, Murray, don't be like that." Caboose frowned, "Honesty is the greatest policy, and I'm sure once it's all said and done, everything will be okay." "Easy for you to say." Salt sneered. "You're married. You can have Daring anytime you want." "He's right, though." Grimoire declared. "Things never turn out as bad as we fear. Remember that sitdown with the Yokeuza a while back? We thought when Vinny got their boss drunk that we were dead meat, but everything turned out alright in the end." "That is true…" Sonny agreed. "Statistically, we shouldn't have made it through that." Lars noted. "Guess luck was on our side." Sonny smiled. "Let's hope it still is." Murray noted. "That's the spirit, guys." Caboose smiled. "Hey, is everything alright in here?" Coming into the room was Daring Do, having joined Caboose in supporting his brothers, wearing her sleeveless green dress. "Everything's just dandy, dear." Caboose smirked, nuzzling Daring. "Just working out some pre-revelation jitters." "Good. 'Cause your guests are here." Daring announced. "Okay, boys, this is it, no backing down." Grimoire sighed. "Just try and stay positive." Salt suggested. "Yeah, right." Slot snorted. Meanwhile, in the entrance hall, the guests, or namely Zecora, Mayor Mare, Bon-Bon, Redheart, Lyra, Berry Punch, and Vinyl Scratch were waiting. "Hey, May." Murray smiled. "Hello, Murray." May smiled. "Red, great to see ya." Salt smiled. "I've really missed you." "You too, sweetheart." Redheart beamed. "Berry, still as sweet as ever." Vinyl chuckled. "I'm not the only one." Berry smiled. "You're looking as radiant as ever, Bonnie." Sonny beamed. "Oh, Sonny..." Bon Bon blushed. "Good evening, Lyra." Lars kissed her hoof. "Right back atchya, Lars." Lyra giggled. "Hello, Zecora." Grimoire smiled. "Good evening, Grim my dear." Zecora purred. "It is, as always, good to be near." "Vi." Slot grinned. "Slot." Vinyl winked. "Shall we make our way to the dinner table? Sonny made up a five-course Manegolian meal." Murray smirked. "Ooh... what is that?" Mayor asked. "I have no idea." Murray admitted. Soon, everypony sat down to dinner. However, the mares were quick to sense that something wasn't right, as the brothers ate in silence. "Something wrong, guys?" Vinyl asked. "You're pretty quiet. Vinny hasn't even made a perverted comment yet." "Oh, yeah?" Vinny smirked. "Later, I'm going to show Berry some well-aged... I mean distilled... I got nothin'." Caboose and Daring glanced at the other brothers with a knowing look and the brothers then shared grim nods. "Ladies, we have something to tell you..." Murray declared. "Oh, I knew it." Vinyl glanced at Sonny. "It's fine, Sonny boy, there's no shame in being a colt cuddler." The brothers gaped, especially Sonny and Bon-Bon. "What?!" Bon Bon gasped. "I'm not gay!" Sonny protested. "Really?" Vinyl raised an eyebrow. "I only thought, since you seem to know how to make such healthy food..." "What?!" Sonny spluttered. "Even straight stallions can know how to make tasty food that is good for the soul!" "Name three." Vinyl challenged him. Sonny glared at her. "Look, babe, whether Sonny is into colts or not is not the thing we are referring to..." Slot declared. "You're all secretly studying human lore?" Lyra asked. "No!" Vinny snorted. "We're not into that ant-trophy bull-crud!" "The term is anthropy, ya buffoon!" Lars snapped. "Besides, that's not it, either." "You're secretly a jazz dance troupe?" Bon Bon asked. "No way!" Murray shook his head. "Half of us hate jazz!" "You're all serial polygamists?" Berry asked. "Gettin' there." Vinny shrugged. "How's that gettin' there?!" Salt sputtered. "No, we are all one-mare stallions!" "Thank Celestia for that." Redheart sighed. "Are you part of a Tirek-worshipping cult?" "Cult?!" Grimoire gasped, "Ma'am, where do you pick up such crazy notions?" "Are you secret agents?" May asked. "Archaeologists?" Zecora offered. "Oh, for Faust's sake, we're mafia PONIES!" Slot exploded, having enough of all this craziness. Silence fell. "What?" Mayor gasped. "We're mafia ponies!" Slot repeated. "You know, the Godfather, the Goodfellas, the Goodfeathers, the Sopranos, take your pick, we're like that!" The mares went silent... before they all began to laugh, much to the brothers' confusion. "Good one, Slot!" Vinyl snorted. "Did Slot say something funny?" Murray asked. "Because I'm not seeing it." Vinny added. "Oh please, you boys, part of the mafia?" Berry smirked. "It must be a joke, our funny bones you do poke." Zecora added. "Yeah, I mean, sure, you guys seem to look the part, what with the suits..." Lyra shrugged. "And the big mansion..." Redheart noted. "And all your flunkies in tuxes that heed your every word..." Bon Bon continued. "And the shadowy activities you never tell any of us about..." Vinyl considered, her face falling. "And how that one time you visited me, Vinny, and you were covered in mud…" Berry frowned. "And Grim, one night we did sit, and I heard a servant whisper to you about a 'hit'..." Zecora gasped. "...Oh my gosh, you are mafia ponies." Mayor realized. All the mares went silent with shock. The brothers held their breath... and then Caboose spoke. "Now, everypony, let's not panic." He smiled. "I'm sure we can settle this peaceful-" "YOU ARE MAFIA PONIES?!" Mayor yelled. "Or just scream at the top of your lungs... nice pick, Murray." Caboose rubbed his ears. "Dude, that's cool!" Vinyl smiled. "COOL?! COOL?!" Mayor screeched. "Vinyl, we're dating criminals!" "Mafia criminals." Vinyl corrected. "Better than dating some wallflower." "May, May, let's talk about this-" Murray started. "There's nothing to talk about." Mayor growled. "You kept this from me! Oh good Faust, me, a mayor, dating a mobster!" "Well, it's sound bad if you put it that way." Murray deadpanned. "You lied to us!" Redheart declared. "No!" Salt piped up, "We just… omitted certain details…" "I can't believe I've been dating a mobster all this time!" Berry trembled. "We shared schnapps together, Vinny!" "And to think, I shared my gumdrop recipe with you." Bon Bon glared at Sonny. "I knew finding another pony interested in humans was too good to be true!" Lyra wailed. "Zecora?" Grimoire stared dolefully at the zebra. "I am not bothered by your profession, but I am angered by your deception." Zecora admitted. "You should have told me the truth, and make your feelings for me proof." "Yeah, what she said." Vinyl nodded. "I don't mind you bein' a Mafioso Slot, but I do mind you keepin' it from me." "Vinyl, babe…" Slot stammered. "I think we all need time to think…" Mayor declared, her voice cold. All seven mares got out of their seats and left the room. "'Scuse me, guys." Daring got up and followed them. "Well, that went well..." Vinny moaned. "I knew we shouldn't have told them!" Salt groaned. "Then why didn't you say so before?" Murray asked. "I was trying to stay positive!" Salt yelled. "Fat lot of good it did!" Murray growled. "Your 'positively' screwed us over! Dammit, Salt, I loved May!" "Whoa, why are you getting ticked at me?!" Salt snarled. "Slot's the one who just blurted it out! If it weren't for him, we could've broken things to them more gently!" "Yeah, it's his fault!" Sonny agreed. "As usual." Lars snarled. "Caboose, you're no longer my least favorite brother." Vinny said snidely. "Thanks… I think?" Caboose said in awkwardness. "Hey, don't gang up on me, ya jerks!" Slot growled. "Guys, just calm down..." Grimoire tried to defuse the situation. "It was probably Vinny's fault!" Slot pointed. "His drunk marefriend scared the others with her quivering!" "Why, you..." Vinny leapt at Slot, and started pummeling him. "That's right, punish that dirtbag, Vinny!" Salt cheered. "Shut up, Salt!" Murray shoved Salt, "Vinny is obviously the one who ruined everything!" Salt glared viciously at Murray, "I don't like being TOUCHED!" He emphasized the last word with a punch to Murray's snout. "Gah, you son-of-a…!" Murray roared as he lunged at Salt. "I've always hated you!" Lars shoved Sonny. "I've always hated you more!" Sonny shoved back. "Brothers, stop this! You're all acting like hooligans!" Grimoire admonished, as he tries to break up Slot and Vinny, "We just need to calm the buck dow-" Before he could finish, a wayward punch of Vinny's collided with Grimoire, knocking him back into a wall. The other brothers stopped their fighting just to gape at what Vinny just done. "Vinny!" Caboose gasped in horror. "Oh my gosh, Grim, I'm so sorry!" Vinny sputtered, "I didn't-" A growl cut him off, as Grimoire picked himself back up, using the wall as support. Grimoire put a hoof to his face, sporting a bloody snout. Confirming that his blood had been spilt, the eldest brother gave a death glare at Vinny, and said in a voice that was cold as the north… "Okay, you porky piece of crud… know that you brought this upon yourself…" Grimoire said quietly. Before Vinny could comprehend what he said, Grimoire let out a bellowing neigh as he tackled Vinny off Slot, and began wailing into him with more fervor than a stallion his age should possess. "Let's rumble!" Slot roared, as all the brothers (save for Caboose) staring fighting. Caboose watched in horror as his brothers fight. "Bros! Stop this! This isn't helping anypony!" Caboose pleaded. "Shut up, Caboose, no pony likes you!" Vinny snarled, biting Grimoire's hoof. "No, no pony likes you!" Grimoire roared, using his magic to judo throw Vinny into the table. "Oh no…" Caboose gulped, as he did the logical thing: running out of the room. "Carapace! Break out 'Shelia 2.0!'" As he left, Salt jumped off the table, performing a flying press onto Murray. "Yippe-kai-yay, Motherf-" Meanwhile… Outside, the mares were discussing the revelation. "I can't believe Lars is a mafia pony." Lyra sighed. "He seemed like such a nice pony. Now who am I supposed to talk to about humans?" "Really, you're upset about that?" Mayor frowned. "What about me? I'm a politician. You realize what would happen to my career if ponies were to find out that I was dating a criminal offender?" "Hey, at least you didn't spend a bunch of 'wonderful' nights with your coltfriend." Redheart pouted. "Salt was real good to me…" "So was Sonny… oh, how I will miss his pineapple paste…" Bon Bon sniffed. "And all those delicious wines and concoctions of Vin's that will never grace my taste buds…" Berry frowned. "Yeah, Slot was a cool guy… well, as long as you don't bring up cats playing pianos or his parents doing 'things'." Vinyl shrugged. "And Grim seemed so refined." Zecora added. "He and I did wine and dine..." "But that doesn't change the fact that they are criminals…" Lyra frowned. "We have to break up with them, don't we?" "Well, I don't want to wake up one day with another pony's head in my bed…" Berry shivered. "This sucks." Vinyl pouted. "I know, and Murray was so sweet, too." Mayor added, before glaring. "He must have been corrupted by the others!" "Not by my Salt!" Redheart gasped. "That thug?" Bon Bon snarled. "Definitely. I've seen how feely he gets with you." "Hey, my coltfriend is affectionate! Not unlike your 'flamboyant' guy, Sonny!" Redheart defended. "What's with everypony assuming he's gay?!" Bon Bon stammered. "Slot's the youngest." Vinyl declared. "He was probably led astray by that drunk, Vinny." "He's not a drunk!" Berry snarled. "And if anything, Slot's the thug here! He gets angry at a drop of a hat" "Hey, watch it!" Vinyl growled at Berry. "What of Lars?! Anypony crazy as Lyra to believe in humans can't be good!" Redheart glared. "Oh no, you did not just go there!" Lyra roared. "What about Grim? The old geezer has to be the ringleader!" Vinyl pointed out. "He is not old." Zecora growled. "How dare you be so bold!" "Come on, Murray is easily the bad influence! Those shifty eyes just scream 'criminal mastermind'!" Lyra growled. "Hey, that's my coltfriend you badmouthing there!" Mayor yelled. "What do you care? He's a 'criminal offender' like you said!" Lyra sneered. "Yeah, don't be a hypocrite, old lady!" Vinyl growled. "Oh, shut up, Vinyl!" Berry growled, as she then slapped Vinyl, much to everypony's horror. "You shut up!" Vinyl screamed, as she then slapped Berry even harder. "Stop this now!" Zecora declared, stepping in. However, it was at an inopportune time, as Berry retaliated with another slap. Everypony went silent as Zecora's face contorted into a cold glare like her coltfriend. "...Time for pow!" Zecora bellowed, as she tackled Berry. With that, all the mares began fighting amongst themselves, slapping, punching and tugging at each others' mane. Some questionable words were dropped in the process as well. Soon, Daring came in. "Okay, that's enough! Break it up, mares!" She declared as she pushed the mares off each other. "Honestly, I expected more from some of you gals..." "She started it." Vinyl pointed at Mayor. "It doesn't matter! Look, I know what they told you may come as a shock to you…" Daring declared. "You knew, didn't you?" Mayor accused, "How could you live knowing that your husband is one of them?!" "Well, he is a good cuddler." Daring joked. "But that aside, you shouldn't be so quick as to judge them." "Oh, why is that?" Vinyl glared. "Yes, I too, have trouble believing there is good to such a mess." Zecora nodded. "Because I went through the same thing with Caboose." Daring declared. "But... you're still with Caboose." Lyra declared. "Yep." Daring nodded, showing off her wedding ring, "And I hadn't looked back since." "But how?" Redheart asked. "How could you stay with him?" "Well, that's quite a story..." Daring smiled. Nearly a year ago... a few months before "Me, Myself, and O'Malley" It had been about two months since Caboose had been dragged along with the princes in their quest to achieve immortality via the Golden Phoenix and met Daring Do. Ever since that fateful expedition, Caboose and Daring had been spending almost every day with each other. With Daring retired from her adventures, she settled down in Canterlot, so that she and Caboose could visit each other often. Caboose, while having disastrous attempts with mares (and one stallion) in the past, actually was doing pretty well in maintaining his relationship with Daring. She seemed to enjoy his company, and most certainly wasn't using him as a bank, a trophy, or as a temporary concubine. That was a plus. However, Caboose knew Daring wasn't stupid and he knew that she would start asking about his personal life. So, he had to do it: he had to tell Daring that he was a mafia pony. Thus bringing him to that day, as he was in the foyer in his best suit, fixing his tie constantly, much to the enjoyment of his older brothers who were watching him. "Hey, guys, does my tie look right?" Caboose asked worriedly. "For the seventh time, yes." Vinny rolled his eyes. "You really need to calm down, 'Boose." "How can I?" Caboose groaned. "Daring is going to be here any second and tonight's the night I'm supposed to tell her... the thing." "I don't know why you're telling her." Salt frowned. " I mean, she doesn't suspect anything, does she?" "No, but I don't want to keep any secrets from Daring." Caboose retorted. "A relationship needs to be built on trust." "Those are wise words, Caboose, but I doubt you need to put yourself in so much stress just to please Daring." Grimoire declared. "But I do!" Caboose insisted. "You don't understand, this could be the mare for me, and if things don't go the way I want it, I will lose her and be alone forever!" "Wow, you are being over-dramatic." Slot declared. "You are being over-dramatic, buckface!" O'Malley retorted, before smiling. "Good to be back, readers!" "O'Malley, stay down!" Caboose returned. "I need this to go perfect!" "Look, just take a deep breath, Caboose." Lars suggested "Yeah, Daring seems to like you a lot." Sonny agreed. "I don't think you being a mobster under the guise of a royal guard is going to change that." "You're right..." Caboose took a deep breath and put on a sickly smile. "You guys are always right... I love you all so much... and I really don't want any of you to mess this up for me, or I will have to go ballistics on all of you." The Napoleons looked on in shock as Caboose went to fix his tie again. "Geez, he really needs this mare." Vinny shook his head. A griffin came in. "Excuse me, sirs, but Miss Do have arrived." He declared. "Okay, showtime." Caboose shuddered. They all met Daring in the foyer. "Hey, honey." Daring kissed Caboose. "Daring, these are my brothers." Caboose declared. "Murray, Vinny, Salt, Sonny, Lars, Slot and Grimoire." "Hey." Murray smiled. "How's it goin'?" Vinny grinned. "A pleasure." Salt smiled. "Lovely to meet you." Sonny added. "Charmed." Lars nodded. "You're hot." Slot smirked. "Knock that off!" O'Malley emerged, before Caboose pushed him back down."So, you've met the family. You can go-I mean, have dinner... with us!" "Let us show you to the dining room. Sonny made ragweed soup." Grimoire gestured to the dining room, saving Caboose from making a fool of himself.. Caboose let out a breath of relief as everypony made their way to the dining room. Soon, dinner was served. Daring was at one end of the table, while the others were all around the table with Grimoire sitting at the opposite end. Caboose was still very nervous, as he tries to sip his soup, though the magical grip on his soup was so shaky that the soup just dripped off. "Say, Caboose, can you pass the salt?" Slot asked. "Sure!" Caboose inadvertently yelped as he magically grabbed the salt and... chucked it right past Slot. "Sorry." "Can you pass me the bowl of apples, Caboose?" Salt requested. "On it!" Caboose shouted unnecessarily, as he levitated the bowl... and chucked it at Salt, who barely dodged it. "Geez, Caboose!" Salt yelped. "Hey, 'Boose, could you pass me a knife?" Sonny asked. "No!" The other brothers yelled. "Is everything alright, Caboose?" Daring asked. "You look bothered." "Bothered? Why would you say that? I'm perfectly fine!" Caboose's horn sparked and a knife flew out of the room. A loud yelp was heard in the background. Caboose gulped. "Daring, Caboose has something that he would like to tell you." Grimoire stepped in. "If this is about O'Malley, I know about him." Daring replied. "Dang straight!" O'Malley smirked, before slapping himself back to Caboose. "No, not O'Malley." Murray shook his head. "Caboose nearly killing his cousin Church with a cannon?" Daring suggested. "Not that either." Vinny declared. "The eight of you performing Riverdance at Dusty's birthday party?" Daring asked. "Aw jeez, I'd just about blocked that memory..." Lars groaned. "For Pete's sake, we're mafia ponies!" Slot growled. Caboose and others went slack-jawed at that. Daring glanced at them in confusion. "...What do you mean you're mafia ponies?!" She yelled. "Like I said: We're mafia ponies!" Slot repeated. "You know, the Godfather, the Goodfellas, the Goodfeathers, the Sopranos, take your pick, we're like that!" Daring was shocked. "Mafia... wait... Napoleon... you mean to tell me that you are the Napoleons, as in one of the world's greatest crime syndicates?" She gasped. "Yup. Winner of the "Whackies" for five years and counting." Lars said proudly. "And 'best heist' award for three years running." Salt added. "Caboose... how could you not tell me?" Daring asked, deeply hurt. "Oh no, oh no, I know that kind of voice!" Caboose quickly lunged at Daring's hind hooves. "Please don't leave me! Please don't leave me!" "Caboose, get a hold of yourself!" Grimoire yelled. "NO! I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE! I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!" Caboose wailed. "Caboose!" Daring tried to pry him off. "Dude, you're freaking her out!" Vinny declared. "No, I love Daring! I don't want to lose her!" Caboose started crying hysterically. "I-I-" He began convulsing rapidly, and making weird computer-like noises, then dropped to the ground, fidgeting like he had just been shocked, before going limp. "Caboose? Are you alright?" Lars asked. "Caboose.exe has encountered an error. Processing." Caboose said, in a completely monotone voice. "Caboose, are you feeling alright?" Sonny kicked him lightly. "Caboose.exe has encountered an error. Processing." "Caboose, this is not funny!" Slot frowned. "Caboose.exe is unable to process error. Rebooting." "What's wrong with him?" Daring asked. "It depends: Do you want the full diagnosis or just our guesses?" Murray replied. "Caboose.exe is shutting down." Suddenly, Caboose's face contorted to O'Malley's scowl. "Oh, way to go, guys, you broke Caboose!" He snarled. "She started it." Vinny pointed at Daring. "Well, now, I have to reboot Caboose!" O'Malley growled. "Chin don't fail me now!" O'Malley dragged himself out of the room by his chin. The others stood in silence. "I should go." Daring sighed. "Don't go, please!" Grimoire tried to stop her. "You mean the world to Caboose. Losing you would break his heart." "He should've thought of that before!" Daring snarled. "I mean, I should had seen this coming when he didn't know squat about Saddle Arabia…" "Oh come on! You didn't leave him because of O'Malley, but you are because he's a mafia pony? You realize how messed up that is?" "Multiple personalities is one thing, Murray, but a criminal? I didn't think Caboose would be like that…" Daring muttered. "Please, Caboose is no criminal. He's too soft for that." Slot snorted. "Look, why am I arguing with the lot of you? None of you are any better!" Daring spat. "You're right." Grimoire admitted. "We are no better…because Caboose is better than all of us." Daring raised an eyebrow. "Look, Daring, Caboose is a mafia pony. Nothing can change that." Grimoire told her. "But that doesn't change that fact that he's still the same Caboose you've always known." "Grim's right." Murray nodded. "I mean, the whole mafia thing aside, Caboose cannot lie or keep secrets to save his soul. If anything, he's the most honest pony out of all of us." "Let's not forget that Caboose is also kind." Lars added. "I have yet to meet another pony that is as sweet and innocent as Caboose." "And while a bit odd, Caboose knows how to make you laugh. I hate admitting it, but he does know how to bring a smile to my face at times." Vinny chuckled. "Caboose is also selfless." Sonny smiled. "He gives a lot to this family… his generosity is matched by none other." "And he's loyal. He would throw his hoof on a blade, catch a grenade, and jump in front of train for anypony he cares about. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if he inflicted severe bodily injuries just to make you smile." Salt added. "Heck, we might be bold enough to say that he's the most magical guy you ever meet." Sonny declared. "Although there was that time when he accidentally blasted cousin Church with a cannon… and gave that flag to the guy he thought was our client… and opened the Gates of Tartarus-" "Too far, Slot, too far…" Salt warned. "Look, the point is… Caboose may not have told you the truth right away, but he told you today." Grimoire reminded Daring. "That oughta count for something, doesn't it?" "Yeah, it does." Daring admitted. "It means he trusts me with his biggest secret. He must really care about me." "Of course. He did just grovel at your hooves to not leave him." Vinny joked. "Murray?" Daring deadpanned. Murray slugged Vinny in the shoulder. "Ow!" Vinny groaned, rubbing his hurt shoulder. Caboose re-entered the room, successfully rebooted. "Caboose.exe version 1.5 activated..." He mumbled, before shaking his head. "Woo, that's better..." Then he saw Daring. "Daring, you're still here!" "Yes, I am." Daring smiled. "Does that mean... you're sticking with me?" Caboose smiled hopefully. "It does." Daring nodded. "Knowing the truth doesn't change the kind of pony you are. Your brothers reminded me of that." "Oh, that is a relief!" Caboose smiled. I'm still steamed, though." Daring glared at him. "It's gonna take a lot of hoofrubs to make up for this." "Whatever you want, my love." Caboose smiled. "Good." Daring nodded, as a smile crept on her face, "For now…" Daring kissed Caboose passionately, as the brothers watched on with smiles. "We did good, boys. We did good." Grimoire nodded. "Just call us Mafioso matchmakers." Vinny grinned. Back in the present... "And you forgave him?" Bon Bon asked. "Just like that?" "Sure did." Daring nodded. "Look, the Napoleons may be mobsters that lie, steal, and cheat…but on the inside, they are still good, decent ponies. I recognized that about Caboose, and so I stuck with him. All I ask is that you mares remember that about your stallions." The other mares glanced at each other with uncertainty. "Besides, it would be rather nice to have mares around over the next couple of months." Daring smirked. "What do you mean?" Bon Bon raised a brow. "Well…" Daring blushed, "I visited the doctor earlier this week and…" The others figured out the rest. "You're pregnant?!" They all said at once. "Yes. Still haven't told Caboose yet though." Daring nodded, rubbing her belly. "Look, I am not asking you to marry them or anything, but I want you to know that you won't regret it. I didn't, and now, I'm going to be a mother, thanks to Caboose." The mares glanced at each other… before a smile crept on all their faces. "I guess we may have overreacted a little..." Mayor admitted. "Or a lot." Redheart added. "We may have been living a lie for a while, but that does not mean our love wasn't worthwhile." Zecora declared. "Let's give 'em another chance." Vinyl suggested. "Hear, hear!" Berry cheered. "Then back we go." Lyra smiled. "Let's hope they're not too broken up about things..." Bon Bon added. They opened the door to the dining room... only to find the brothers locked together in combat in a destroyed dining room. Grimoire had Vinny in a headlock, while Vinny clutched Murray's head tightly, tugging at his mane. Murray jabbing Lars in the back with an arrow from his crossbow, Lars whipping Sonny's back with his crop at the same time. Sonny torching Slot's mane while throwing his weight on him. Slot nicking Salt with his knife, while trying not to scream that his mane was on fire, and Salt rapidly punched Grimoire's barrel. "Surrender, Vandal Napoleon!" Grimoire grunted, ignoring the pain of his now bruised midsection. "Bite me!" Vinny snarled, as he bit Murray's ear. "Kiss my flank, Lars!" Murray growled. "Not before I kick yours!" Lars spat as he whipped Sonny again. "Heat's on, Slot!" Sonny taunted his brother. "Gonna... cut you... up!" Slot snarled at Salt. "D'ya mind?!" Salt spat. "I'm busy thumpin' Grim here!" "Um, boys?" Daring asked, quite shocked by the scene. The brothers froze, as they saw Daring and the other mares. Grimoire and the others immediately got off each other, as they dusted off their now torn suits the best they could and straighten their manes... except in Slot's case, he just patted out the flame on his now-bare head. It seemed all hostility had faded away, just like that. "So…what brings you back here, ladies?" Murray asked as coolly as possible. "Daring helped us realize something." Mayor declared. "You may have kept this truth from us, but it doesn't mean you're not the stallions we fell in love with. A wonderful, protective stallion like you, Murray." "A strong, caring stallion." Redheart smiled at Salt. "A sweet, funny guy." Berry beamed at Vinny. "A great chef..." Bon Bon told Sonny. "An intriguing conversationalist." Lyra purred at Lars. "One sweet dancer..." Vinyl told Slot. You told what is true, and now I have increased my love for you." Zecora kissed Grimoire on the cheek. Daring smiled as the couples reconciled. Suddenly, a wall came down, as Caboose stormed in with a cannon with the inscription 'Shelia 2.0'. "Okay, bros, cease all hostilities before I blow you all up!" Caboose threated. The mares screeched in shock, holding their hooves up. "Whoa!" Murray yelped. "Put the cannon down, ya whackjob!" Salt screeched. "It's okay, dear." Daring told Caboose. "Everything's back to normal." "Seriously? Why didn't you say so?" Caboose smiled, as he pushed his cannon aside. "That's a relief." "Daring, this is the time, I feel." Zecora urged Caboose. "Time to give Caboose the big reveal." "What is she talking about?" Caboose wondered. "Well, Caboose…" Daring smiled, "You're going to be a father." Caboose, as well as the other brothers, gaped in shock. "Say what?!" Vinny gasped. "Incredible." Grimoire smiled. "Didn't know he had it in 'im." Murray smiled. "We're gonna be uncles... again!" Salt cheered. "I hope it's a colt, so I can teach him how to fight." Slot smiled. "Or how to cook." Sonny smiled. "Or to crunch numbers." Lars chuckled. He noticed everypony looking at him. "...What?" "I'm going to be a dad?" Caboose asked. "Yes you are." Daring nuzzled him. "I'm going to be a dad…" Caboose repeated. "Caboose?" Murray asked with concern. Then, just like that, Caboose exploded into a cacophony of cheers. "YEAH!" Caboose bellowed, raising his hooves to the air. "I'm going to be a dad! Woo-hoo! Alright! Oh, yeah! Whoot, whoot! Yay! Yay! Yay! I'm so hap-" Caboose suddenly keeled over. "Caboose.exe has encountered an error. Processing." He said, the monotone returning. "Is he alright?" Mayor asked Daring. "He'll be fine." Daring smiled. "He just needs time to reboot." "So, now that all that's out of the way, who's up for a glass of '84 Dream Valley Chablis?" Grimoire smiled. Everypony raised their hoof, then they all gasped at Vinny. "What?" Vinny looked up and saw a knife piercing his raised hoof. "...Oops." Slot cringed. "Aw, nerds." Vinny uttered, before he fainted.