Chapter Four: Rumbles And Rockworms
~BlackRoseRaven
Prince Blueblood did not like the accommodations that Sleipnir chose, and was very vocal in his protests. But all he managed to do was annoy all the ponies around him... except, of course, for the unflappable, apparently eternally-patient stallion of his absolute worst nightmares.
Eventually, the young prince had tired himself out and grouchily sat down with Sleipnir at a table in the common room. Someone had hit him with a rolled-up napkin, but he'd been too frustrated with the world to do more than glare around with disgust before they'd been served some cheap-tasting sandwiches and ale. Disgusting, low-brow, smelly ale.
At least one of the Royal Guard had finally fetched him some water. It came in a dirty glass, and it was utterly tasteless, but it was at least something he could drink. He had mourned the fact they couldn't even get a decent sparkling or any flavored water, but he realized now that he shouldn't have been so surprised. Sleipnir apparently wanted to 'rough it,' after all.
Now, here he was. Laying in an uncomfortable bed above a bar that was still rowdy with noise, all because that idiot Sleipnir had insisted on teaching his twenty new best friends the Royal Guard some silly drinking song. By now they were probably all drunk stupid, and Blueblood just wondered how many gemstones Sleipnir could pull out of his precious hair – or his enormous rump, for that matter – and if it would be enough to pay for all this... ridiculousness.
Blueblood huffed and hugged himself, rolling over in bed and scowling. At least he hadn't had to stay down there with all those idiots. At least they'd let him head up to his room, alone. At least he didn't have to put up with Sleipnir. At least there was that.
He stared at the wall, wearing only his long, flowing nightshirt that he favored because it did a good job of hiding his paunch, and then he sighed a bit and reached up to silently rub at his hairnet-covered head. He missed Canterlot. He missed Auntie Celestia, and how she tucked him in at night and kissed his forehead and her little blessing every night. He missed the good dream charms that Auntie Celestia had made Auntie Luna make for him, so he never had to worry about nightmares... what if he had a nightmare tonight? What if he got cold? What if he had to go to the bathroom?
He shivered at the last thought: there was one bathroom down the hall, apparently shared between the guests on this floor. And with the twenty soldiers downstairs being led into drinking themselves into stupors, he figured it was going to be full all night of stallions who wouldn't be able to aim very well or who would end up painting the porcelain with puke... and Blueblood was rather sure that the little bathroom was going to be far from sanitary, anyway.
And what about in the morning? He had to brush his teeth, and comb his mane, and there were a thousand other little things to attend to that he wouldn't be able to do without a proper dressing room! What was he supposed to do, just... climb out of bed and put on his clothes? And speaking of clothing, what about laundry?
Blueblood curled up in a little ball on top of the bed, reaching for the covers... and then shivering and leaving them at the foot of the furnishing. No, no, who knew how many times they'd been... messed on. This whole place was unsanitary and undignified, and he imagined all of Canterlot Castle was laughing at him right now... maybe even Auntie was getting a giggle or two out of this, him stuck out here alone and miserable... a little colt without his goodnighties...
The white unicorn clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head back and forth before he jumped as there was a knock at the door. He whirled around just as the door opened, flinging himself back against the wall in terror as a big stallion let himself into his room... and then the young prince twitched as he realized it was Sleipnir, howling: “What the hell are you doing in my quarters?”
“I knocked.” Sleipnir said in an injured voice, and then the earth pony gave him that big, annoying, childish smile as he said cheerfully: “I wish to discuss my plans with thou, that is all. Thou strikes me as the type who does best when there is a schedule to keep, even though I assure thee I shall ruin all our plans more often than we make them.”
Blueblood scowled at Sleipnir, but then he nodded grudgingly, brushing himself off and sitting at the edge of the bed. Sleipnir smiled and approached, dropping on his rump with a thunk before he paused and peered at the cap on the unicorn's head. “I applaud thy creativity in disguising thyself as a mushroom, young prince. But I fear 'tis only covering thy head.”
“I... what?” Blueblood reached up and touched his poofy hairnet, and then he scowled moodily at Sleipnir. “Oh, ha ha.”
“Ha ha indeed.” Sleipnir agreed jovially, and then he paused for a moment before asking: “Art thou sure thou will not join us downstairs for a drink? All our friends are drunk, and I am sure they would find thee most agreeable.”
“They are not our 'friends,' they are my servants.” Blueblood said testily, glowering at Sleipnir before he leaned in and sniffed a few times... then wrinkled up his muzzle with disgust and waved a hoof back and forth. “And you already reek like a distillery.”
“Oh, quaff thy big words. Thou reminds me now of my brother. He too would always deride me with such big words.” Sleipnir paused meditatively. “Although I suppose I cannot blame him. My sister always made a mare of him, after all, and a mare's words are her sharpest weapon against any stallion.”
Blueblood rolled his eyes, then sat back and said distastefully: “Get to the point, Sleipnir. I want to sleep this nightmare away.”
“Oh, thou should never sleep away thy nightmares. Thou should tend to them, for nightmares make the best bedtime companions.” Sleipnir winked, but Blueblood only continued to look at him crankily until the enormous stallion sighed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, very well, great... sponge. That is what thou are, a wet sponge. I would call thee a wet blanket but thou keeps all to thyself, sucks thyself into a little ball, and that is what sponges do. They are selfish little wet balls.”
The unicorn's face puckered at this, glaring at Sleipnir as Sleipnir looked back mildly, and then the earth pony suddenly smiled and said cheerfully: “Well, tomorrow thou shall drink with us, thou cannot be sad forever.”
“I doubt it.” Blueblood muttered moodily, hugging himself and glowering irritably at the stallion.
“Aye, so do I.” Sleipnir agreed, apparently misinterpreting what the prince meant. “But for now, I shall not tarry long here, and nor shall I force thee to come downstairs and share a glass of ale, if thou prefers thy solitude. But let us speak of business now.”
Sleipnir brushed absently at his bare breast, and Blueblood looked at him suspiciously before the earth pony asked curiously: “Hast thou ever been trained in... well, I know thou art no fighter, but what about athletics? What... games does thou like to play, what hobbies interest thee?”
Blueblood looked dumbfounded at this question, and then he huffed before saying grumpily: “Well, I have always held myself above such petty things, but...”
The prince halted, shifting a little, and then he shook his head before grumbling and looking away in embarrassment. “It's none of your business what I enjoy. Besides, I... I simply haven't had enough time for the last few years to do anything like that. I've been busy with... politics, and running Equestria, and... other important princely work.”
Sleipnir smiled wryly at this, but then he simply nodded and said kindly: “Very well, I shan't press thee if thou does not wish to speak of it. But tomorrow, after we reach the inn, we shall stop to train. How does that sound?”
“Unwelcome.” Blueblood said moodily, but he shifted a bit, studying Sleipnir intently. Was the big oaf actually going to teach him to fight, was that what he was saying? Auntie had never allowed him to take part in any fighting... why, she'd even gotten mad at him when he'd taken some of the Magic Academy's self-defense lessons!
Sure, part of him quailed at the thought that he might have to actually do... work. He might have to get dirty, maybe even learn all those things that Shining Armor was always blathering on about. But at the same time, he felt like there was a little spark of excitement worming around in him at the thought of maybe being a real live... well... “What... uh... what do you mean?”
Sleipnir could hear it in Blueblood's voice, and it made him smile softly... but also with a faint hint of sadness. It was just like he'd thought: this handsome stallion prince in front of him was still nothing more than a colt beneath all those layers of arrogance and selfishness, and he had no idea what he was getting into. And Sleipnir was both honored and a little... sad that he would be the one to teach him why legends of adventurers were so thrilling and happy... and yet all the same, were also stories of warning. “Oh, do not worry, Blue. 'Twill be hard at first, but thou shall come to enjoy thyself, learning the arts that I can teach thee.”
Yes, just like a colt, he expected: but while it filled him with happiness to have a student, at the same time, it made him feel a strange pang of what was almost guilt, knowing what would come after training, knowing what awaited all who lived by the rule of the sword and hoof. In his heart, he trusted the path he'd chosen... but that didn't mean he couldn't mourn for what he knew would lay in the days ahead.
But perhaps it was just the ale making him sad... or rather, the lack thereof. So Sleipnir straightened and smiled, asking kindly: “Art thou sure thou will not join us for a drink? Or... I can even bring thee up a flagon, and we can share a drink together before thou goes to sleep. What say thee to that, Blue?”
Blueblood was admittedly a little surprised by the offer: for a few moments, he studied Sleipnir almost awkwardly, and then he finally cleared his throat before shaking his head, saying finally: “Uh... no. No. I'm... going to go to bed. It's been a... trying day.”
It... hadn't, really. Sure, he was homesick and a little tired, and he was very unhappy about where they were staying and it was loud and he knew he'd have a hard time sleeping... but really, today hadn't actually been awful, as much as he hated to admit that.
Sleipnir smiled at him, and Blueblood wondered how the hell the big lummox managed to do that all the time. Always look so happy... “Fear not then, young friend. I shall leave thee to thy rest, but we shall see that thou joins us sooner or later.”
The young prince nodded awkwardly, shifting a little and not quite knowing what to say. But Sleipnir only stood up and stretched before turning and heading for the door, saying gently over his shoulder: “Sleep well, Blue. We shall leave earlier in the morning than I expect most of our friends will like.”
The ivory unicorn only gave another lame nod, then he cleared his throat and looked away until Sleipnir closed the door. Then Blueblood sighed and rolled over, settling on top of the bed and curling up to hug himself as he mumbled: “Goodnight, idiot.”
Blueblood slowly crawled out of bed after a long night of tossing and turning, looking exhausted. It was quiet now, at least, and he dragged himself out into the hall before counting his blessings when he saw the bathroom door was wide open and there were no other ponies around.
After using the bathroom, washing his face, and neatening his mane, he felt a little more alive. He returned to his room, and putting on some clothing made him feel even better, smiling a little to himself. He was sure by now that Auntie Celestia was missing him... maybe soon she'd send a letter, asking him to come home. And it hadn't been so bad, really, had it?
Blueblood packed up his things, then headed down to the common room: there was a single waitress on duty, but not a single other pony around. She served him strong coffee and a large bagel, and even if he had to put butter and cream cheese on it himself... it was still breakfast, and it was... adequate, he supposed.
The prince helped himself to a newspaper, going through his usual morning rituals almost without even realizing it. It helped him feel a lot... calmer and more confident about things, though, gave him that sense of control that he craved.
He hummed a little under his breath, then put down the newspaper, raising his hoof to signal for another coffee... before staring in disbelief as he saw Sleipnir was now sitting across the table from him, smiling at him childishly. Blueblood mouthed wordlessly, wondering how the hell the giant of an earth pony had all-but-materialized before Sleipnir leaned forwards and whispered: “I shall be quiet, young prince. I know not to interrupt monarchy as it reads. I learned this after my most beloved sister set my precious mane on fire for interrupting her own morning reading.”
Blueblood scowled at this, then he began to look up as the waitress approached... but Sleipnir cheerfully slammed a hoof against the table, Blueblood yelping and nearly falling out of his seat before the earth pony declared amiably: “I shall have some of that delicious coffee, thy finest fruits, and a fine mare to join me! And as thou art the only fine mare that I can see, it shall have to be thee!”
The waitress blushed deeply, then mumbled and hurried away, and Blueblood stared in disbelief after the mare before he slapped his forehead and asked irritably: “Can you be any more stupid?”
“Oh, good, thou must be done reading. Thou art using thy bossy voice.” Sleipnir said blandly, and then he paused and peered at him thoughtfully. “Thou looked so serene when thou wert at study. So pleasant. And now thou looks so... so...”
Blueblood scowled darkly at Sleipnir, and the earth pony chewed on his tongue, considering his words for a few moments before he said finally: “A wet cat.”
The young prince didn't even think this was worthy of a response, huffing and grabbing his newspaper to shield himself from Sleipnir with it, and the earth pony quickly covering his mouth with his hooves, whispering: “Very well. I shall be quiet.”
Blueblood ignored him as best he could... but he could almost feel Sleipnir just sitting there, staring at him. It made it hard to concentrate on any of the articles as he fought not to look around the newspaper... and eventually, the newspaper began to shake in his hooves as he ground his teeth together in frustration, before finally slamming it down and hissing: “What?”
Sleipnir blinked a few times as if awakening from a daze, and then he simply smiled and shrugged. “Oh, nothing. I was simply thinking of the days long past, 'tis all. When town criers would carry the news, and all came from gossip and tale-telling, and we weren't all so fortunate to be literate.”
“I suppose you were one of the illiterate many, yes?” Blueblood asked disdainfully, but to his surprise, Sleipnir shook his head quite seriously.
“Oh, nay. I could not afford to be.” he replied, and Blueblood frowned in surprise at this before the enormous stallion continued: “Well, not just because my older sibling insisted upon my learning, but also because the day is rarely won with brute force alone, young prince. Oh, I shan't lie. To have strength enough to tie a dragon into a pretty bow that I may wear upon my head is most useful. But 'tis utterly useless if I cannot read the large and glaring sign that warns me of death ahead, or if I cannot decipher a riddle or understand the mechanics behind a trap.”
As Blueblood processed this, the waitress returned with a pot of coffee, a mug, and a large bowl of cut fruit. She put this down in front of Sleipnir... then blushed when he kicked a chair out, smiling over at her as he quickly filled the mug with coffee, then shoved it neatly in front of the open space. “Here, sit and drink and make us stallions smile with thy presence alone! For nothing warms the spirit more than a gorgeous mare.”
To Blueblood's disbelief, the mare blushed a bit, then actually sat, even if it was hesitant. And Sleipnir smiled wider at her before he offered her the bowl of sliced fruit as well, saying cheerfully: “There, is that not better? Now, I would like thee to meet Blue, my youthful traveling companion. He and I are on a great quest and we were just discussing what one needs for great adventures. And what does thou think, most pretty mare, one needs for adventures?”
“Uh...” The mare looked awkwardly at Sleipnir, then suggested meekly: “Courage?”
“Aye! Courage!” Sleipnir pounded a hoof against the table, smiling approvingly before he turned his eyes towards Blueblood, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “And do either of thee know what true courage is, my friends?”
Blueblood huffed at this, and then he said moodily: “I suppose in your case it's being too stupid to be afraid of anything.”
“Oh, nay, that is not courage in the slightest. That is simply me being thick of skull.” Sleipnir replied pleasantly, shrugging easily as he knocked on his head a few times. Blueblood only rolled his eyes, feeling sour as the mare laughed a little and bashfully picked up the coffee mug, studying Sleipnir with fascination... but of course she was more interested in him. Sleipnir was the manipulative, giant handsome stallion with that stupid charming smile of his, who could apparently sweep in and yank every mare off her hooves...
The mare shifted a little as Sleipnir looked at her, and Blueblood could swear he had some kind of... secret power. Some kind of special magic or mojo or he didn't know what as she looked back at him... then finally asked hesitantly: “Courage is... not being afraid?”
“Close, very close. For I have been afraid many times in my life: courage means to propel thyself forwards in spite of thy fears. Courage is not so much not being afraid, for at times, to not feel fear would be the folly of madness, not wisdom.” Sleipnir said gently, nodding to the mare firmly. “Do both of thee understand?”
“That's idiotic.” Blueblood mumbled, shifting a little in his seat. That sounded like a foal's notion... and he couldn't imagine, anyway, how a normal pony was just supposed to... to swallow their fear. “Besides, it must be easy for you. You're the one who claims to be some... god, is it? You fell from Asgard and all, which is Heaven, yes?”
“Nay, I am merely a pony. Although once upon a time I managed to stand upon mine head for ten entire minutes without falling over, and if there is any feat more godly than that, thou art welcome to show me.” Sleipnir said seriously, nodding a few times, and the mare giggled a little as Blueblood only groaned and rolled his eyes. “But nay. Even the Valkyries feel fear at times, my young friend.”
Blueblood crossed his forelegs grumpily, and the mare sipped quietly at her coffee, studying Sleipnir as the earth pony smiled and leaned back in his seat. There was only silence for a little while, and the prince found himself shifting uncomfortably, wanting to break it... with an insult or a slur or some biting remark, yes, but to break it all the same.
After a few minutes, though, one of the Royal Guard finally dragged himself into the room, looking hungover and exhausted. Blueblood was half-tempted to make some nasty remark about drinking on duty, but as if Sleipnir was able to read his mind, the earth pony leaned back and said kindly: “Fear not, friend, I take full responsibility for all that happened last night. I forget sometimes that not all ponies are so fond of their ale as I am. Sit and rest, and... dear mare, will thou prepare us more of thy coffee? And biscuits. They will need biscuits.”
The waitress nodded awkwardly, standing up... then blushing when Sleipnir caught her before she could step away, the stallion smiling at her. “If thou needs any help, I shall gladly offer my services. I often help out in a bakery, I shall have thee know.”
The mare only blushed again, then awkwardly shuffled off, and Blueblood scowled moodily at Sleipnir before he asked irritably: “Do they have many bakeries in Heaven? Or is that a job reserved for the mighty warriors like you?”
“Oh, no, I do not live in Asgard, do not be silly. 'Tis all stuffy up there, with rules and nonsense.” Sleipnir said cheerfully, shaking his head quickly. “Aye, 'tis my home, so to speak, and I rushed to defend her when 'twas needed. But all the same, my true home is upon another realm of Midgard much like this one. Another Equestria... did thou not listen when I explained all this before?”
Blueblood only looked at the stallion, again wondering if he had always been delusional, or the fall from the sky had something to do with what was very clearly insanity. And yet at the same time, he wondered how someone so utterly, completely mad could be so charming and friendly and... well... seem so honest.
He guessed that was what being delusional really meant, though: you actually believed these silly, insane things that you said. Blueblood almost felt pity for the giant of a stallion... or he would, if Sleipnir wasn't also a pretender to the throne. A manipulator. Secretly-evil.
Although it was getting harder and harder for him to hold onto those thoughts: the damned stallion just kept... smiling at him and being so... no, no. He's doing this just to trick you. Don't be a fool, Blueblood. Don't trust him. You can't trust anypony... you just can't.
The unicorn's eyes slid off to the side as his features tightened a little, and then he blinked and looked up when Sleipnir shook him gently by one shoulder. “Art thou alright?”
“Fine. Fine.” Blueblood mumbled, and then he cleared his throat before swatting Sleipnir's hoof away, adding grouchily: “And please stop touching me. Why do you always have to try and touch me? Why do you always have to touch everything?”
“Because.” Sleipnir said simply, sniffing loudly. Then he patted his hooves all along the table before grabbing the bowl of fruit and lifting it to his face, shoving his head down in it and gobbling down the food.
Blueblood reared back in revulsion, shivering a little as he stared with abject horror at the stallion before Sleipnir rose his head and burped loudly. Then he dropped the bowl and smiled, rubbing absently at his stomach as he declared: “Most delicious!”
He paused, then grabbed the pot of coffee and tilted it back over his mouth as he opened it wide, pouring a stream of dark liquid straight down his throat. Blueblood mouthed wordlessly in disbelief at the sight of this, and then Sleipnir slammed the empty pot down and gave a sigh of contentment, smiling warmly and licking his lips slowly. “I shall admit, I have never been as fond of this stuff as my sister, but it does give a pleasant kick. I suppose 'tis fine and well enough to have in moderation, now and then.”
“You just drank half a pot, you... you pig!” Blueblood exclaimed, gesturing sharply at the huge stallion. Sleipnir huffed at this remark, but the prince only shook his head, shivering and saying moodily: “You are absolutely... inexcusable.”
“Oh, aye. I am the inexcusable one here, certainly.” Sleipnir said wryly, sitting up and tenting his hooves together as he looked pointedly at Blueblood. “Thou art no great ray of sunshine thyself, I shall have thee know.”
The prince only scowled at Sleipnir, reminded of all the reasons why he hated this stupid stallion. And to think, for half-a-second, he'd actually been afraid he might have fallen for the big oaf's dumb charm.
But he wasn't about to let that happen in a thousand years. He'd rather be sent to the moon that be friends with this grinning idiot.
Blueblood dragged his hooves sulkily, dressed in his armor and with a loathsome baby-blue bandanna tied around his head to keep his hair out of his eyes. It was hot, and they had been walking for... for almost an entire hour.
He was tired and sore and cranky and his mane was completely ruined thanks to the beating sun and all this disgusting sweat he was coated with. Oh, sure, the Royal Guard seemed to be having a pleasant enough time, marching along in double-file along the road, and Sleipnir was trotting along like a foal, smiling around at everything on the mountain path, but... they were all used to this sort of thing! They were big stupid jocks, meant to do... menial labor, and he was a distinguished, refined prince.
The ivory stallion dropped his head grumpily, blowing away a wisp of hair that floated down over one eye. He almost wished for his helm, just so he could hide his face from anypony who might pass... not that this mountain road was all that often used. Why bother, when there was the train station in Canterlot that could go anywhere, better-traveled carriage roads, or even flight?
But no, no. Sleipnir had been insistent about going down this grassy... rut. That was all it was, a rut. A disgusting sloppy... mess. Blueblood grumbled under his breath, then shook himself quickly out before he mumbled: “I cannot believe what I've been reduced to...”
“Oh, thou art not reduced, thou art... thou art engorged! Swelling, growing, getting bigger!” Sleipnir said cheerfully, and there were a few snickers from the Royal Guards as Blueblood only looked sourly at the enormous earth pony leading the column. “Well, thou knows what I speak of.”
“How much further?” Blueblood asked grumpily, and Sleipnir shrugged cheerfully as he turned his eyes ahead, studying the distance thoughtfully as he paused for a moment to dig one hoof into the ground.
Then he gave a short nod before looking over his shoulder and declaring: “'Tis but a short distance. It should take us only half a day's march more.”
“Half... half a day? It'll be evening by the time we get there!” Blueblood snapped, glaring furiously at the earth pony as he skidded to a halt. Sleipnir came to a stop himself, and a moment later, so did the entire column of Royal Guard behind them before the young prince narrowed his eyes. “Wait a moment... the hotel is not nearly that far away-”
“Well, aye, but it is so pleasant here I thought we could walk a more scenic route.” Sleipnir said reasonably, and Blueblood twitched a bit before the stallion said cheerfully, gesturing straight ahead: “Nature has told me that it would be wiser to enjoy today's journey than rush. So I decided-”
“So you decided. So you decided!” Blueblood snapped, glaring furiously at Sleipnir as one of his eyes twitched. “Oh, because of course, it's only your decision that matters, is that right? Need I remind you that I am a prince, Sleipnir? I am prince!”
Sleipnir looked for a few moments at Blueblood, and then he softened a little and bowed his head humbly. “Thou art right.”
For a moment, Blueblood looked stupefied, unable to believe that maybe he'd finally gotten the message through to the stallion, before the enormous earth pony said honestly: “'Twas very rude of me not to consider my companion's thoughts. Thou art my equal on this journey, and my guide. I should have asked for thy opinion on this decision before I made it for us both.”
Blueblood twitched a bit, then shifted awkwardly as he turned his eyes away, not even entirely sure of what he should say until he finally mumbled: “Well, you're... you're half-right, at least. Maybe even a stallion as... slow and stupid as you can learn something from all this.”
Sleipnir only shrugged and smiled kindly, and there was silence for a few moments before the earth pony asked gently: “So what would thou prefer? Shall we continue our trek, or shall we turn our eyes towards the inn and make our way there now? But I warn thee, nature has said-”
“Nature, I'm sure, says a lot of things. But I think I speak for all of us when I say it would be nice to get out of this heat.” Blueblood said irritably, gesturing at the Royal Guard behind him. Of course, none of the soldiers spoke up, but it wasn't as if the stallion had really counted on their support, anyway: he knew they preferred Sleipnir over him.
But none of them spoke out, either, and the enormous earth pony seemed to take their silence into consideration as much as Blueblood's words before he finally gave a hesitant nod, saying finally: “Very well then, but... I do not know if this is-”
“I have made my decision, Sleipnir. You asked me, and I have told you. So let's go.” Blueblood replied acidly, and the earth pony gave a loud sigh, but then grudgingly nodded. “Good.”
Sleipnir only grunted, shifting a little: at first, Blueblood thought he might actually be annoyed, which gave him a childish, nasty sort of pleasure. But after they resumed their walk, he realized that Sleipnir was keeping closer to the group now, and it wasn't annoyance... it was nervousness.
Still, the idea that they should be wasting all day in these mountains because Sleipnir had some bad gut feeling was ridiculous. They were civilized ponies, who believed in science and logic, not... dull superstition and omens from nature. Magic was one thing, but the idea of hearing voices in the wind or seeing premonitions, that was all ridiculous...
It was only twenty minutes before the inn came into sight: it was a good distance away at the bottom of a twisting mountain path, but Blueblood smiled in relief at the sight of it. He began to hurry a little faster along the winding road... then scowled when Sleipnir reached up and stopped him, saying apprehensively: “We should be cautious. Does thou not smell that?”
“All I smell is sweat and you.” Blueblood said distastefully, grimacing and shifting moodily away from the enormous earth pony. Then he scowled a little up at the stallion as a thought came across his mind... “You're just trying to slow us down, aren't you? You... you want us to go back to just doing things your way, that's all!”
“No, oh, damnation!” Sleipnir groaned loudly, looking flatly down at Blueblood. “Thou art reminding me more and more of one rather beautiful and terrible mare I had the awful misfortune of bedding one night. She was rapture upon the eyes and delightful to the touch, but her silken petals hid a most foul poison. 'Twas not half a night before I realized she was quite mad when she accused me of attempting to steal her riches away.”
“You'll pardon me, Sleipnir, but I may find myself siding with the mare when it comes to you.” Blueblood said testily, shoving past the stallion and continuing grouchily down the mountain path. “Now stop dallying and stop trying to get everything your way. I am the prince here and-”
The ground beneath Blueblood suddenly cracked and shook, the stallion yelping in surprise as he stumbled forwards before the ledge he had been striding across gave out completely, sending him spilling down the side of the mountain in a hail of dust and rocks and dirt. He yelled in terror as he bounced and rolled down the mountainside, looking wildly back and forth before he hit a plateau, rolling to the edge of this with a curse and covering his head automatically as several rocks bounced painfully over his body, making his armor clang and groan.
Then there was silence for a few moments, Blueblood wheezing quietly before he frowned uneasily as he heard something hissing behind him. The unicorn began to tremble before he slowly rose his head, looking over his shoulder before his eyes widened in horror at the sight of the long, segmented worm that slowly twisting its way out of a large crack in the hillside, its sawblade-filled mouth opening and closing eagerly as it blindly slithered towards the pony...
Blueblood quaked helplessly, unable to even make a sound as the enormous worm slithered its way towards him: it was as thick as a pony's limb, but more and more and more of it just kept coiling out and out of the mountain as it slithered eagerly towards him.
And now it had almost reached him, the stallion leaning back as the worm began to rear up, its jaws opening hungrily as that hissing sound it was making grew ever louder-
“Hey, whoa!” Sleipnir shouted, and a moment later the stallion landed with a tremendous bang beside the worm. Immediately, the enormous beast snapped around in a circle, moving like lightning... but to Blueblood's shock, Sleipnir was even faster, batting it away with one hoof with ease before he easily hopped over its long body when it tried to coil around him. “Oh, so thou desires to play, great wretched thing? Here, here I am, here!”
The worm lashed itself around, darting at Sleipnir again, but he once more slapped it away as he danced easily around its coils, even as the creature's long tail finally whipped out of the crevice it had emerged from to snap at him like a whip. It was attacking him with every part of its body, biting and lashing and trying to constrict, but Sleipnir only continued to shout and leap back and forth, whacking away both the head and the whip-like tail whenever they drew too close.
Finally, the worm either seemed to tire itself out or became dazed from being hit one too many times by the earth pony, swaying almost drunkenly before it lurched more than darted at Sleipnir. But the earth pony simply leaned forwards and slammed his head square into the worm's, knocking it flopping backwards, and the immense thing twitched weakly a few times in the dirt.
Sleipnir smiled at this, and Blueblood watched with disbelief as the stallion easily picked up the worm. And then, in front of the prince's disbelieving eyes, the earth pony smoothly tied the enormous insect into the shape of a bow before kindly setting it down, the worm spasming a little but now unable to do more than wiggle weakly back and forth.
Blueblood mouthed wordlessly for a few moments, and Sleipnir glanced over at him curiously before he strode towards the unicorn and reached down, easily hauling him up to his hooves as he said kindly: “Do not fear, young prince. I have encountered these creatures before, snake-worms that hunt by sound and vibration. I have done him no harm, fear not for him, though: he will untangle himself by tonight and will have forgotten our misadventure here by the morrow. But we should perhaps send warning of this back to Canterlot: 'tis little wonder Mother Nature warned me so.”
He nodded with a self-satisfied smile, and the unicorn looked blankly back and forth between the big, cheerful stallion and the mottled, awful worm-beast that had just tried to eat him after he'd rolled what felt like a hundred feet down down a pile of sharp rocks. For a few moments, there was nothing in his mind but static... and then the young prince simply snapped.
“What is wrong with you?” Blueblood almost screamed in response, and Sleipnir winced backwards before he began to gesture wildly at the unicorn, making shushing noises and waving his hooves back and forth. But Blueblood didn't even notice, continuing to howl at the top of his lungs: “First you shove me down a cliff and now you... you're defending that hideous parasite, and you think all of this is okay? You think we're okay? We're not okay! I am not okay! This is not okay!”
Sleipnir tried to grab the unicorn, but Blueblood slapped wildly at him with his front hooves, making the earth pony flinch and cover his face to try and avoid the hail of weak blows. “No, stop it, keep... keep your filthy hooves off me, you miscreant! I am a prince! I am Prince of Equestria and I will not be treated like this, you dirty peasant! You swine! You monster! I am-”
And then the entire mountain vibrated, both Sleipnir and Blueblood stumbling and then falling on their rumps before the mountainside all-but-exploded as a far, far larger worm ripped its way out of the rock wall. It hissed furiously at them, revealing teeth the size of daggers as it loomed slowly higher and higher in the air... then paused at a faint whimpering.
Slowly, it turned towards this, then seemed almost to stare down at the smaller worm as it wiggled helplessly. The massive beast's jaws slowly closed as it turned back towards Sleipnir and Blueblood, and the earth pony leaned carefully over to the quaking unicorn to whisper: “Thou should be quiet, because these rockworms live in families. And that, I believe, must be matriarch.”
Blueblood swallowed thickly, and then he leaned over and asked weakly: “But... but they're just stupid bugs, right?”
Mother Worm leaned forwards and roared furiously as her jaws gaped towards them, and Blueblood screamed like a filly and flung himself backwards before Sleipnir jumped to his hooves and spun around, tossing the unicorn onto his back as he bolted towards the edge of the plateau.
Sleipnir leapt fearlessly off the ledge and landed on the steep mountain slope, skidding for a few moments before he broke into a sprint. And not a moment too soon, as Mother Worm lunged over the edge of the cliff and smashed face-first into the rock where Sleipnir had been a moment before, sending up a spray of gravel and stony debris before she lurched after them with another screaming hiss that almost swallowed up Blueblood's own high-pitched shriek.
The unicorn kicked his hind legs wildly as he clung to Sleipnir for dear life with his forelimbs, yelling and howling as the goliath worm slowly closed in on them. It was going to swallow them whole, gobble them up, and then he was going to be nothing but the prince of worm-food, stuck with Sleipnir for all eternity... which would end up being very short, since he doubted it would take the worm long to digest them both.
Sleipnir, however, was grinning as he charged down the steep slope, then he suddenly leapt sharply to the side as Mother Worm lunged: she again bit down on only the rock face, but immediately slung herself forwards again after the stallion.
The stallion was fast, though, dodging to the side, and the worm instead hit the stone face beside him before it propelled itself forwards, hissing furiously as it tried to twist to the side to scoop up the ponies. But just as it did, Sleipnir leapt upwards... then kicked off of Mother Worm's head fearlessly, sending it crashing face-first into the slope.
They landed, and Blueblood gaped over his shoulder in disbelief as the stunned Mother Worm, watching as it shook itself out before the beast gave a roar of fury and lunged after them. The unicorn's screams immediately renewed, shaking Sleipnir wildly as he howled: “Do something do something do something! It's coming!”
Sleipnir winced a bit, but even with the distraction, he didn't miss a beat: the mammoth worm lunged at his back suddenly, but the stallion sidestepped before leaping up onto its massive, mottled body, skidding along its scabrous flesh before he suddenly threw himself into another high jump, a moment before the monster lashed its coils outwards as it attempted to spin around at the same time.
Sleipnir landed just above Mother Worm's jaws, hooves pounding over its head before he kicked off, sending the monster lurching face-first into the rocky mountain with a tremendous bang. The stallion landed neatly and skidded several feet before he looked sharply ahead, noting that the inn was only a short distance away... and Blueblood wildly yanked on his mane, looking over his shoulder in terror as the groggy Mother Worm started to stir. “Go, go, go, we can make it!”
“The beast eats through solid stone, Blueblood, a house of wood alone will not be enough to save us.” Sleipnir reasoned calmly, and then he shook his head before smiling suddenly and bucking Blueblood off his back and into one foreleg, the prince looking stupefied.
For one wild moment, he thought that Sleipnir was about to sacrifice him to the monster... and then the enormous stallion gently set him down before saying kindly: “Go and wait for me over yonder, Blue. I shall be but a moment. I shall try and reason with her.”
“R-Reason? Reason!” Blueblood spluttered, but before he could point out all the things wrong with Sleipnir's idea, the earth pony gently slapped him on the back... and Blueblood went skidding down the steep, rocky slope on his rump, squealing the entire time as he scrambled wildly for purchase before finally overbalancing and rolling painfully onto his back.
It at least let him stare up the mountain, watching with horror as Sleipnir calmly approached Mother Worm. The stallion was smiling pleasantly as the beast coiled itself and reared its head high, snarling as a body that seemed miles long shivered behind it and its saw-like jaws dripped drool and slime. “I wish to parley!”
Mother Worm hissed at the earth pony as he halted in front of her, spreading his forelegs wide and smiling warmly. “We have had naught but a misunderstanding, matriarch, for wish I would most sincerely like to apologize. Perchance we can put all this behind us?”
Mother Worm leaned slowly down towards Sleipnir, and Sleipnir smiled hopefully... before the enormous beast lurched forwards. And from where he was laying, Blueblood slapped his forelegs over his face in horror, realizing that now that the beast was done with Sleipnir, it was surely-
“Oh, now, wait, that is far too affectionate!” came an impossible voice, and Blueblood mouthed wordlessly before he stared through his forelegs at the sight of... of Sleipnir, easily holding Mother Worm back by the top of her head as she uselessly attempted to grind forwards, trying to bite him but unable to make him budge so much as an inch down the rocky slope. “No, no, thou... I do not wish to hurt thee! Oh... oh, come now!”
Mother Worm roared, and Sleipnir winced a bit before sighing almost despondently... then suddenly flicking both forelegs up and tossing Mother Worm's head backwards so she flew just past him. It looked like she was about to crash down on top of him, and Blueblood winced even as Sleipnir swung up a single hoof, as if he could stop it.
He didn't stop the worm: instead, his blow smashed the head of the Mother Worm backwards like it was a toy. A thousand foot long, train-sized rag doll, which crashed stupidly down in a heap in its own coils as Sleipnir absently shook out his hoof before remarking cheerfully: “By the Aesir. Thou art rather heavier than I had expected.”
Mother Worm groggily, slowly rose her head, then seemed to stare down at the big, friendly stallion as he waved at her before saying in an honest, amiable voice: “Now, perhaps thou art more in the mood to discuss things, rationally? For I mean thee no harm. Thou wert only protecting thy territory and child, thou art no evil to be punished. But look past thy rage, for I have mine own charge who must be protected, does thou see?”
The enormous beast shifted suspiciously forwards, leaning down and seeming to study Sleipnir intently... and then it suddenly lunged again. But again, Sleipnir easily caught her by the face, then he grunted and threw her head backwards, making her whole body shift painfully as she crashed down on her own coils.
There was silence for a moment, and then Sleipnir put his hooves on his hips, saying sternly: “Now I fear that may be quite enough. Thou hast had thy chances to take thy retribution, and I have apologized to thee. I did no harm to thy child, and I wish to do no harm to thee. But if thou forces my hoof, then I fear-”
Mother Worm suddenly lunged again from the ground, throwing herself in an arc, and Blueblood leaned forwards in shock at how fluidly the worm moved... and how Sleipnir intercepted the train-sized beast, catching her by the head and leaving her body awkwardly, painfully arced for a moment before he said grumpily: “Oh, very well. If thou insists upon this route, I shall answer.”
And then Sleipnir calmly yanked Mother Worm's head down before firmly lashing her upwards, and the enormous, serpentine worm's body was snapped like a wet towel before Sleipnir slammed her flat against the ground with a tremendous bang. Blueblood gaped in disbelief, rolling over and mouthing wordlessly as the whole mountain shook for a few long moments, and then Sleipnir stepped back and put his hooves on his hips again, looking disapproving.
The creature was unmoving for a few moments, and then it weakly wriggled itself back and forth a few times before slowly raising its head, seeming to stare down at Sleipnir. The stallion looked back at her, and then he opened his mouth and rose a hoof, and the Mother Worm gave a distinct squeal before spinning around and bolting immediately back up the mountain.
“I did not want to hurt thee! Thou brought that upon thyself!” Sleipnir called awkwardly after the creature, waving a hoof back and forth before he sighed and slumped a bit. “Although, aye, I am sorry. Perhaps I expected too much of thee or was a little too extreme. Sleipnir, do not be an idiot, what would thy phoenix think of thee?”
Blueblood trembled violently as he carefully picked himself up, then he slowly crawled his way up the slope towards the earth pony, who looked lost in thought. He didn't even seem to realize that Blueblood had crawled up right beside him before the unicorn almost fell back down the slope when he tried to sit up.
Sleipnir easily caught him with one hoof, smiling at him kindly, and Blueblood flinched a little as he thought of all the power that one hoof of Sleipnir's had in it. He shivered and pulled away hurriedly... then almost overbalanced again, but at least managed to catch himself this time before he whispered: “What... what are you?”
He looked at Sleipnir with fear and wonder in his eyes, and Sleipnir smiled faintly before he shook his head and murmured softly: “I am not whatever thou art thinking, of that I can assure thee. For I have told thee. I am simply a pony, named Sleipnir, who desires to go home.”
“To... to Heaven. To Asgard.” Blueblood said slowly, and suddenly that seemed so much more believable now than it had been before.
But Sleipnir only chuckled, smiling over at Blueblood as he shook his head. “Nay, to Midgard, to the Equestria that I have made my home: nay, I do not think Asgard will have need of my services at the moment.” He stopped, then frowned a little, rubbing at his chin and murmuring: “Or at least, I sincerely hope not, for that would mean... many bad things.”
He was quiet for a moment, but then shook himself quickly before turning a smile towards Blueblood again, saying in a warmer voice: “But look, thou hast survived thy first... well, 'tis not quite an adventure, really, more of a misstep. But adventures are made from such things, Blue.”
Blueblood laughed weakly, then he shivered a little and reached up to rub slowly at his forehead. He was dirty, achy, and sweaty... and he didn't even care about any of those things as his whole body continued to quake and he felt every breath whistling painfully in and out of his lungs as his mind raced, trying to comprehend everything that had just happened.
He realized Sleipnir was waiting for him to reply, but... he simply had no reply to make. What was he supposed to say? And he wasn't stupid enough to think he could just... promise Sleipnir he was going to behave so that this... this pony-god or whatever he was wouldn't strike him down with a hoof that had smited a monster the size of a train...
Blueblood whimpered a little, biting his lip, and Sleipnir cocked his head curiously. Just that gesture alone made Blueblood shy away, baring his teeth in a terrified grin as he thought of...oh, no. I was so rude to him before... what... what if he's just been biding his time? Counting all my... waiting for me to... to... oh no no no... “S-Sleipnir! How... how about we head down to the hotel and... we... we celebrate! We celebrate with.... w-w-with ale!”
“Oh, we cannot celebrate yet, Blue, although 'tis a surprisingly merry idea from thou.” Sleipnir said thoughtfully, nodding a few times before he studied the unicorn curiously, asking after a moment: “Art thou sure thou art alright? Thou art acting a little... strange.”
Blueblood forced himself to smile, giving a weak laugh as he shook his head hurriedly. “J-Just jitters, I... oh... just... amazed at how you dealt with that... that monster!”
“What? Oh, bah, 'twas no monster, 'twas merely a mother protecting her child. Although I was surprised that I was not able to commune with it, as I am with most animals in the Equestria I am more familiar with...” Sleipnir looked musing, tilting his head back and forth before he finally gave an easy shrug. “Well, this Midgard is different, and perhaps 'twas foolish of me to expect to be able to speak to her people with such ease.”
Blueblood only whimpered a laugh through his clenched teeth, and Sleipnir studied the stallion oddly for a few moments before he asked slowly: “Art thou sure thou are fine? Thou art my charge, Prince Blueblood. I shall do anything and everything I must to protect thee.”
The white unicorn only nodded meekly a few times... and then he felt some strange, giddy imagining rise up in his mind that almost washed away everything else. The thought that maybe, just maybe, that meant... “A-Anything?”
“Well, I am not thy servant, but aye, I shall do whatever I must to protect thee from harm.” Sleipnir said kindly, and Blueblood studied the stallion for a few moments, just letting himself imagine what kind of prince he could be if he really had all that might at his hooves...
And then Blueblood winced when Sleipnir gently rose a hoof and touched his shoulder, saying kindly: “But we can speak more of this in a better place. Come, Blue. Let us make haste for that inn. It looks a nice enough spot to rest a while and wait for our friends to catch up to us. Hopefully they will make all haste around the worm's territory instead of trying to follow us through.”
Blueblood finally nodded, then allowed Sleipnir to take the lead. The prince looked awkwardly back over his shoulder once at the damaged mountainside, where Sleipnir had so easily bested the mammoth worm... and then the unicorn turned his eyes back ahead to the earth pony who was so much more than the braggart and oaf that Blueblood had first mistaken him for.