Love is…I don’t know, it’s complicated to explain, it’s experience is one that cannot be described so accurately until you experience it yourself ya feel me? It was just supposed to be another Valentines day or Hearts and Hooves Day as it’s called in Equestria, a certain schoolteacher and a certain dependable red stallion are about to be in love from some potion. But that’s small matters, today I’m on a Blind date, so I have no idea who the mare is until I’m there and you’re asking me why I’m doing this?
Well, a couple of weeks ago, Cloud Kicker came to me and we had a convo before she went for her next sex adventure. So we said things and she said I really needed to get laid, EXCCCCUUUUUUUSE ME! Just because I don’t buck every mare on the damn planet does not mean I need to get laid, then she said I was dryer than a desert in terms of sex life! I was really offended, and here I was thinking the females were the sensitive gender!
So more talk came and I ended up accepting a Blind date after arguing that I could bed a mare any day, OH IT WAS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! Heh, I’m so pumped to prove myself I used an Earth saying thing…maybe I should find Sweetie Belle so I can remember the right word?
I went to Rarity to design a different suit for the date, and I ended up asking how mares act on this planet, I got my ear chewed off from the advice of what a “Lady” should do. I ended up cursing myself for asking.
Come Friday night and I’m at home waiting for Cloud Kicker to take me to my Blind date, I saw Firefly alone on the day, I REALLY wanted to ask her but then I’d offend my Blind date and probably get slapped to the other side of Equestria!
I’ll finish the Blind date, and then get back to Project: Firefly, this is just to prove Cloud Kicker wrong and I will win her little game!
Okay, gonna admit I am totally nervous right now, I’ve NEVER been a date on Earth or Equestria before so I have 0 Experience in this, just act natural and this will go fine…oh who am I kidding? Drama follows me wherever I go.
KNOCK KNOCK!
“Coming!” I called
Cloud Kicker must be here to bring me to the place, I answered to find her tapping her hoof impatiently.
“Bolty. Looking smashing! I am almost jealous of the mare you’re gonna be with…ALMOST!” Kicker greeted with compliments
“Thanks” I muttered
“Now get yo flank in this carriage, it’s time you and Miss Right finally meet!” CK said, motioning towards the carriage
“Let’s this get this over with” I sighed
Knowing Kicker, it’s probably gonna be some random mare from a bar and she talked me up to make me seem amazing only for me to end up a disappointment.
I finally decided to be ready for Firefly and I’m sticking to it, I’ll politely have a date with this Mare and then go after Firefly, I’ll think of this as practice, after all Practice makes perfect…actually that’s sort of a lie, Perfect Practice makes Perfect because nothing gets accomplished if the Practice is sub-standard.
I, of course had plenty of bits ready in case unexpected stuff happened or the mare was really Celestia-damned expensive! (at least they don’t have some sort of shoe fetish like females I know back home, in fact I think shoes are kind of a rich pony thing, I’ve seen them on the Princesses and some kind of horseshoes on some nobles)
So our Carriage arrived at a restaurant called The Golden Horseshoe, yeah I know Ponies don’t have that creative naming but whatever, it wasn’t overly expensive but it wasn’t an elaborate dump thrown together at the last second for this specific purpose. It was pure and simple restaurant.
“Your date is already inside, she came in 5 minutes ago” CK said after a pony whispered in her ear
“I thought it was rude to keep a lady waiting?” I asked Kicker
“What’re you? Rarity?” CK laughed at her own joke
“No, can we just get on with this” I said, giving an annoyed look at CK
“Okay, Okay! Put a smile on will ya? You look like Discord brainwashed you, just enjoy the night” CK said
“I’ll do this just to keep YOU happy” I muttered
“Sup! Got a table for two under Cloud Kicker” CK said
“Ah your date has arrived five minutes ago” The waiter said
“Not mine, his” CK pointed a hoof towards me
“Right this way, Sir” The waited beckoned to me
“See ya Bolty, have a fun date!” she said before disappearing
So here I was, being shown to the table by the waiter and there I saw her! A mare wearing a Rose red dress, her mane had been clearly done by a professional. Her coat was the same as Firefly’s colour and even that was clearly done professionally, this mare actually bucking cared! And here I was looking compared to her like I just got out the bed and shoved a suit on. Her rump was facing my direction so I could not see her face as we got closer.
Who this mare was, I did not know but I’m going to do my best to make her date enjoyable, like I said, she looked like she gave a damn and I like that in a mare.
“Your date is here, madam” The waiter said to the mare.
“Thank you” the mare said as she turned around
The mare was the last person I expected to see as my date, yet somepony I was familiar with, a mare I had a bucking crush on! FIREFLY!
“FIREFLY!”
“BOLTY!”
We all shouted in shock as we saw who our dates were, that clever motherbucker!
‘BWAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY CELESTIA THIS IS PRICELESS” CK laughed her flank off!
“You said it Kicker” Sky High said joining in
“We are so showing this to them once this is done” Simple Breeze said as she took the photo of their expressions
“I haven’t laughed this hard since the time Rainbow Dash dressed in a tutu” Kicker laughed even harder
SON OF A MOTHERBUCKING CELESTIA-DAMNED FRUITBAT! YOU PLANNED THIS ALL ALONG DIDN’T YOU? I SHOULD OF KNOWN THIS WOULD OF HAPPENED YOU BUCKING CHEEKY BASTARD!
I mentally yelled in my head as I gaped at Firefly, my blind date…I was on a blind date with Firefly, the shipping demons must of possessed Cloud Kicker, that or she was promoted to super flankhole right about now.
“I cannot believe you’re my date” I blurted out
“Nor do I, but do sit down before your jaw hits the Griffon Kingdom” Firefly said
She is so bucking hot! Like all the Mane Six and the Princesses combined would not match the hotness Firefly is emitting right now! She’s so beautiful, either I somehow have romance goggles or she’s actually sparkling too.
‘Face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot!’
Well here goes nothing…
“So, nice weather today huh?” I said out of nowhere
‘Well duh! We made it that way!’
‘Shut up voice in my head!’
“Yeah, it is nice but a bit chilly” Firefly replied
“So, forgive me if I sound like I’m an amateur tonight, but to be honest I’ve never done this before” I confessed
“So am I, this is like my first date ever” Firefly also confessed
Okay, so that makes me comfortable….
“Really, I’m surprised a mare such as you has never been on a date” I said
“You’re very sweet Bolty, but it’s true, I’ve never been on a date not even in Flight school” Firefly replied
“So high school for Pegasi is Flight School?” I asked
“Well for Unicorns and Pegasi they need to be trained in their specific areas like their magic or flight and learn stuff about stuff only that species can do like weather jobs. We first enter that around our foal years but all the serious stuff happens in our teen years, of course Earth Ponies as well as Unicorns and Pegasi can enter a normal high school if they wish where they learn a variety of things” Firefly explained
“Sounds simple enough, so what was it like?” I asked
Firefly sighed and started explaining, I just hope it wasn’t too dramatic in there.
“Well, I was much a loner in my foalhood, then I met Cloud Kicker in my senior year and that was before she was a fillyfooler and got that reputation a year out of Flight school. She was like my best friend and my light away from those bullies, back then I had braces.” Firefly started
“Then what happened?” I asked
“I got them off, I still got bullied but snobs started trying to get me to go out with them like I was some sort of trophy for their cabinets, I knew they didn’t love me at all really, so naturally I declined a lot of ponies. Besides, I wanted to do well in my studies and my math teacher still scares me to this day, you do not want to fail him, it would be like failing Princess Celestia but 10 times worse!” Firefly continued
“Sounds much like my Tech teacher, it’s always the creepy teacher around the woodwork materials” I said
The waiter came up to our table and we were ready to order. I had never been to an Equestrian restaurant before so I got the Hay ravioli, mainly because Ravioli was my favourite dinner food back home especially with cheese! I’m making you hungry aren’t I? Firefly decided to do a ceasar salad with hay kebabs, seriously, what is with the Hay in every Celestia-damned food? Not that I’m complaining because hay is surprisingly tasty.
“So what about your high school experience?” Firefly asked
“Well, I wasn’t Mr. Popular either, in fact, it was a place of judging humans looking at you and judging you. You wanna maintain a good reputation in our world because it means a lot. I never really found much of a love interest and my friends from Primary school kind of turned into jerks so I severed ties with them before bad stuff happened. I liked to stick to myself.” I explained
“So what stuff do you do in your schools?” Firefly asked another question
“Well we don’t have any magic abilities or something and we’re not split into types like ponies, we all go together, but you learn stuff like Math, English, History and stuff, I gotta be honest, I never paid much attention and I procrastinated like nopony’s business” I said
“You sound like Rainbow Dash in flight school, she was a couple years ahead of Cloud Kicker and Me, lazy flanked pony and acted like she was too cool for school, of course she did captain a fair amount of sport teams and she too P.E way too seriously” Firefly explained
You know, this talking is kind of nice…maybe I should of asked sooner!
“This is kind of nice” I admitted out loud
“Really? I think it’s great, I haven’t talked to anypony about anything since Cloud Kicker” Firefly said
“To be honest, I always wanted to go out with you” I confessed
“Really” Firefly asked
“Yes” I said
“Well, I do too and for that, we may have to kick Kicker’s flank so much” Firefly said
“We’re still going to kick her flank though right?” I asked
“of course” She replied, giving a evil smile.
So after another 5 minutes, and finally the waiter came with our orders, about time too, I’m bloody starving over here! Yeah, I know, good food takes time and all but for my stomach, it ain’t got time to wait.
Let me tell you, this is bucking delicious! Who knew Hay and Ravioli can go some Celestia-damned well? Especially with cheese it tastes 10 times better…oh right where was I? Finishing my dinner with Firefly, so we talked about more stuff, I could not take my eyes off her and it wasn’t because she was so freaking hot that Celestia will be jealous! It was because I was so in love…
THERE! I SAID IT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW SHIPPING DEMONS? I BUCKING LOVE FIREFLY!! YOU CAN END THE WORLD NOW BECAUSE I SAID IT!
Meanwhile…
Princess Celestia felt a disturbance, a sudden feeling like she needs to banish somepony to the moon.
“Looks like Somepony is gonna be banished tonight…tomorrow” Celestia said as she went to bed with a yawn coming out of her mouth
So fast forward to the end, I paid for the dinner because one, It’s courtesy damn it! Two, Firefly clearly put more effort in this date than me, I looked like I just got out of the bed and three, BECAUSE I CAN!
“So, what now?” I asked
“I dunno, what do you say we walk back” Firefly answered
“Your apartment or mine?” I asked
“Yours” Firefly answered
So we started walking back under the night sky which, I swear were brighter than usual and the moon was full as always thanks to our good Princess, Luna. I am suddenly reminded of all those fics usually with a Human and Luna falling in love with each other…wait a moment…why in Celestia’s flowing mane am I thinking of fics in a time like this? What’s wrong with me?!
“Firefly, I sort of got a confession to make” I started
“What is it? You’re not…gay are you?” Firefly looked fearful all the sudden
“NO! CELESTIA NO! Sorry…well you remember the Grand Galloping Gala when we went back?” I asked
“Yes, what about it?” Firefly answered
“That Stallion in the bed….that was me” I said honestly
“It was?” she asked
“Yes, but the reason I ran out was not because I was drunk on cider and stuff, it was because I wasn’t ready, not ready for the responsibility and I had a fair amount of thinking and…” I explained
“And…” Firefly motioned me to continue
“And I think I’m ready to do a relationship, so…” I continued
This is the part where I ask the question, buck it! LEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOORRRRRRROOOOOOOYYYYYYY….
“So, do you want to you know…be my marefrined…if you don’t want to that’s okay…” I asked nervously
IDIOT! THAT’S NOT HOW YOU ASK THEM TO BE YOUR MAREFRIEND!! I BUCKED IT ALL UP! I CURSE THESE NERVES!!
“I thought you’d never ask, Of course I bucking will, come here you” Firefly accepted
YES!! IN YOUR FACE ANYPONY THAT DOUBTED THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN! I WIN! YOU LOSE SUCKER!
Okay, not being a bad winner but I’m so happy, Pinkie is jealous right now of my happiness. But then came the kiss…
Put it this way, the one from the Grand Galloping Gala was nothing compared to this one, a full 30 second kiss that definitely lasted forever, the moon and the stars were shining as though they approved of this kiss. The best part was the magical spark that this was the kiss to end all kisses, nothing else mattered at all but this kiss. It’s one that no amount of describing can do it justice.
We Broke apart finally, and before we knew it, we were at my house and man was I tired, what time was it? Maybe I should of brought a watch or something, ah well the clock is only 10 feet away.
“Is it alright If I stay here for the night, my house is on the other side of town?” Firefly asked
“Sure, you can sleep with me, I would offer the couch but that would be rude and it’s uncomfortable as tartarus itself” I answered
The date was not A+ standard in my eyes but it was good enough for me and that’s what matters and plus, me and Firefly are an item. They say beds are 10 times more comfortable when you have your marefriend on them, time to test that theory….
"Well, Mission Accomplished!" Cloud Kicker said as she watched the couple go in Lightning's house
"Yes indeed" Sky High said
"Well y'all owe me 5 bits" Simple Breeze said, holding her hooves out
"I really need to stop betting..." CK said as she coughed up her 5 bits