“So ya got everythin’ ready for your trip to Canterlot, Big Mac?” Ah asked the ever loveable lug that was my brother.
A large cart, filled to the brim with our best apples, was strung up behind him. Normally, ah aint one to be picky about which apples go where. All the apples here at Sweet Apple Acres are the best ya will ever get. ‘Course, ah don’t want to talk smack about the rest of the family. Ah’m sure they’ve got great apples too.
Yeah, ah’m probably a little too smug about the quality of our apples, but ah can afford to be. There aint anypony who would turn down an apple from our farm. Ya’d have to have no taste whatsoever to do that.
Anyways, now was the time to be picky. We’d recently received an order from the princesses themselves and boy howdy did that get us excited. Now, ah would have more than happy to do it myself, but ah had chores on the farm to do. Well, more like clean up Discord’s messes.
That and ah wanted Big Mac to get his thick headed self off the farm for a while. My big brother aint the most sociable of stallions. Hay, he could give Fluttershy a run for her money in the shy department, especially when it came to mares. If there was one thing in life ah wanted more than to live on the farm, it was to see my family happy…and be an aunt someday.
‘Ah just hope he’ll catch some mare’s eye this time around. Celestia knows he needs one.’
“Eyup,” was his reply.
Ah knew he’d say that. Big Mac aint the type of pony to be forgettin’ things. Still, it didn’t hurt to double check.
“Did ya shine the apples?”
“Eyup.”
“Fix the wheels?”
“Eyup.”
“Freshen your breath?”
“Eyup.”
Ah narrowed my eyes at him and leaned forward. Naturally, the big lug opened his mouth reluctantly and let me take a whiff. Now, ah don’t like to smell my own brother’s breath, but this was a special occasion. Smellin’ nothin’ wrong, ah pulled back.
“Okay, you’re good…But maybe ah should…”
“Applejack,” my brother cut me off with a small glare.
Lookin’ a might bit sheepish, ah chuckled. “Sorry about that, big brother. Ah’m just a little nervous. We’ve never had an order from Princess Luna before, so ah just want it to be perfect. Ya know what ah’m sayin’?”
My brother nodded, but he gave me an inquisitive glance. Ah couldn’t help but fold my ears back. Bein’ brother and sister, we could read each other like books. It made talkin’ with him so much simpler, since he was a pony of few words.
“Okay, ah might be worryin’ a little too much, but can ya blame me? These last couple of days have been…chaotic.”
Really, that was the only word ah could think to describe it. Ah really hated it, but it was true….Ah really don’t think hate accurately describes it, but this wasn’t the time for me to write all the ways ah didn’t like that critter…Ah didn’t like his cute smile with his buck tooth. His irritatingly funny humor. He actually takin’ the time to court me.
Ah hated all of that and more. Ah couldn’t help but grind my teeth against one another as ah thought about him.
“Eyup,” Big Mac nodded.
Ah couldn’t help but smile again. Even though ah’d like for him to be a lil’ more talkative, he was the best pony to talk to. Ah went up to him and gave him a lovin’ nuzzle under his chin. “Stay safe.”
“Always have,” he nuzzled me back.
“Oh how sweet,” Discord said, some ways off.
Ah couldn’t help but groan. ‘Why him? Why now?’ Turnin’ to look at the varmint, ah saw him walkin’ my way with Princess Cadance beside him.
“Such a compassionate sibling duo,” Discord remarked, dabbing his wet eyes with a hoofkerchief. “Such is the stuff of legends. If only me and my own sister could be such compatriots.”
“You have a sister?” Princess Cadance asked.
‘He has a sister?’ Yeah, ah knew he had a mother, but a sister? There were two of these varmints runnin’ around? ‘How in the hay has Equestria survived this long?’
Discord nodded, turnin’ the hooferchief into a sailor’s hat with but a simple wave. He placed it on his head. “Oh yes, but we aren’t on speaking terms at the moment, but that’s not important.” He turned his gaze on me and ah swore ah saw the mischief in his eyes. “What do we have here? Red Apple Horse leaving the nest?”
Ah gave him a deathly glare. Us ponies have a number of things we don’t call one another. Horse was one of them. “His name is Macintosh Apple, thank ya very much.”
“I like my name better,” Discord chuckled, rollin’ his eyes at me.
“And he’s goin’ to Canterlot to deliver some apples,” ah said. Ah don’t know why ah told him that. Ah musn’t have been thinkin’ clearly. “He’s helpin’ out the farm, unlike some critters ah know.”
Discord shot me a small glare. “I already de-chaosed your farm. What more do you want?”
“Maybe ah want a lil’ peace and quiet.”
Discord just rolled his eyes at me…No really. He rolled his eyes right round his face. “I think you’re just avoiding what you really want.” The no good varmint tried to flash another one of his ‘charmin’’ smiles.
Ah just snorted. “Whatever ya want to believe. Now skedaddle. Mac here needs to get goin’.”
____________________________________________________________________________
*Princess Cadance*
This was the perfect opportunity for Discord. I was squealing so hard with joy right now. With Mac on his way to Canterlot, that’d leave Discord more than enough time to bond with him. He’d come home, give Applejack his thoughts, and the farm mare would be one step closer to getting together with the chaos god.
Looking up at him, I found Discord just mulling about. He was just standing there, giving Applejack a frustrating gaze. I really wanted to smack him upside the head. He couldn’t see the golden opportunity in front of him? After I just explained it to him not long ago that he needed to win her family over? ‘No wonder he’s still single.’
Nudging his side, he looked down at me with a questioning gaze. I pointed a hoof to Big Mac, hoping he’d pick up on it. Thankfully, Applejack and Big Mac weren’t looking our way when I did it. Discord, the big oaf, stared at Big Mac for a few seconds, before an off light-bulb appeared over his head. He reached up on tapped it, turning it on. Instantly, he brightened up.
“I have a wondrous idea,” Discord strode closer to the farm duo, dispelling both his hat and the lightbulb in a white poof. I decided to stick back and watch, hoping I wouldn’t be blown up this time. “How about I help Macinpaddle…”
“Macintosh,” Applejack glared at him.
“Macintosh with this order?” Discord smiled at her, hopingly.
“That sounds like a terrible idea,” Applejack huffed.
“Why ever so?” Discord folded his arms in front of his chest. “I could help him bring twice, no, several times the amount of apples he has here.”
“That aint how us Apples work,” Applejack stomped the ground in agitation. “We don’t use magic here for anythin’.”
“Who said anything about magic?” Discord smirked. He flexed his right arm, making it grow three times in muscle size. “I can pull them by sheer muscle alone.”
I tried my best not to snicker. The whole ‘macho muscle’ thing was a hit and miss tactic. It might woo young, inexperienced mare, maybe some of the older, single ones, but quite a few mares could see through the flimsy facade. Like Applejack, for example.
“Ya aren’t gonna let up,” Applejack said. “Are ya?”
“Enope,” Discord mimicked her brother well, even adding a straw in his mouth to complete the image.
Applejack sighed. “Fine, but promise ya won’t start somethin’, okay?”
Discord traced an ‘x’ over his heart, which was highlighted by a bright light that followed. “I promise not to start anything in Canterlot for the rest of today. A god never breaks a promise, I assure you.”
Applejack stared at him for a few seconds, before shaking her head. “Ah’m sure that’s the best ah’m gonna get from ya. Ya can go with Big Mac.”
I could read her body language. She was practically screaming ‘get out of my fur’. Sad really, but understandable. She’d yet to really warm up to him. ‘No matter. Discord and Applejack will be together forever in no time flat. I’m not the Princess of Love for nothing.’
Discord hopped around Applejack, making a different noise each time he did so. He whooped and hollered with glee, while Applejack was doing her best ‘please kill me now’ look. I’ve seen my fair share of them in my lifetime and I’m sure to see several more. It comes with the job of being a babysitter. Of course, instead of a cute little child, I was looking out for a child in a god’s body.
“YES,” Discord cried out in glee. “Road trip!” With a spark of his magic, he conjured up a cart just like Big Mac’s and attached it to himself. The spirit was on all fours while pulling the thing. He wore a tropical T-shirt and a pair of shades. Strutting forth and striking an epic pose, he yelled “MY RED COMPATRIOT IN APPLES, LET US RIDE TO CANTERLOT!”
“Eyup,” Big Mac walked alongside him.
I saw Applejack rub the bridge of her snout.
“Why me?” she muttered to herself. “Why of all ponies, me?”
“Love works in mysterious ways,” I told her. I knew she didn’t want an answer, but I was inclined to add my two bits. “I’m sure you’ll come to appreciate it in time.”
“Appreciate it?” Applejack glared at me. Her voice, while raised, had a certain hitch to it I’ve heard in many a mare before.
‘I believe Shining calls them Tsunderes.’
“Ah’d appreciate givin’ that varmint a tanned hide. He aint gonna steal this mare’s heart, no sirree bob.” Applejack’s body trembled in anger and frustration.
‘She’s still being difficult,’ I thought to myself. If Applejack hated Discord, truly hated him, I don’t think I could’ve helped the pair. If anything, it would make Applejack miserable and that was the last thing I wanted while matchmaking. Not this time however. I could feel Applejack’s affection for the god of chaos. It wasn’t strong, just a small taste, but it was there.
Ever since I became to goddess of love, I’ve had the knack for detecting it. Love, lust, friendship, I could read all those signs and Applejack had a little love brewing inside her. I wanted to jump up and down in glee. She didn’t hate him, not entirely. If I worked my talent right, they’d be lovingly staring into each other’s eyes by Hearts and Hooves Day.
“Very well then,” I said, heading off. “I’ll be off to Ponyville’s library.”
Now, I could have stayed and tried to talk about her feelings and whatnot, but that would have been stupid of me. She wasn’t ready. It was too soon to put my hoof out in the open and try to meddle in things. This stage was Discord’s doing and his doing alone. I could only guide his attempts and even then that’d be a challenge in it of itself. I just had to sit back for a moment and hope for the best.
‘May Faust have mercy on us all.’
“Just take care now,” Applejack called out to me. “Ya and Twilight don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to get togethers.”
I frowned. She was right, absolutely right. While I do love adventure and life threatening circumstances, who doesn’t, but I’d really just like to enjoy one event free day with my favorite sister in law. ‘My only sister in law, but that doesn’t matter.’ But no matter, this time was going to be different.
“I’ll do my best,” I called back to her. I meant that….I just hoped fate was kind to me this day.