//------------------------------// // [FIXED] Episode 54: Of All The Trains I Could Be On, It Had To Be This One! // Story: The Life of a Wanted Changeling (Comment Driven Story) // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// Choke/Gag on the apple pie you're munching on. "CURSE YOU LADY LU*gak*" While you are screaming your hatred for lady luck, a piece of apple pie that you were eating that you haven't completely swallowed yet gets lodged into your throat. Your eyes widen in shock and you grab your throat in surprise as you start to make gurgling and gasping noises as you try to breathe in air. Accidentally foil a train-jacking before it even begins with your clumsiness (example; a bandit jumps up with a blade and yells "Get ya hooves u-"(*slam*) and Bugze accidentally splats him while opening the door before anypony notices the bandit. Bonus points if the same bandit's train-jacking attempts are repeatedly, humorously, and painfully foiled) Suddenly a brown stallion earth pony with a bandanna jumps in though the nearby window. Not noticing that you're choking, the stallion takes out a large gnarly knife and says, "Get ya hooves u-*whack*" While in your choking state, you start to fling your hooves around like a maniac which causes you to accidentally whack the would-be bandit in the face hard enough to send him into a nearby closet which conveniently closes itself, trapping the now dazed robber inside. You didn't notice any of this as you're currently choking to death. Bump into a large minotaur reading a "How to Host a Seminar" book and a pony wearing a purple shawl, a grey cloche, and red-framed glasses Suddenly, you hear a mare gasp and then a pair of khaki hooves wrap themselves around your stomach and start to push inwards. "Come on buddy, stay with me." Suddenly (and thankfully) the pie stuck in your throat pops out and lands in the hair of a large Minotaur concentrating intently on a "How to Command a Seminar" book. You turn around and give your savior a thankful smile, a khaki-coated mare wearing red-rimmed glasses, a purple coat, and a grey cloche hat. She looks at you worried and you notice that she has violet-colored eyes. "Hey, you okay?" She asks in a worried tone. You clear your throat and respond with, "Yeah I'm fine, thanks for the save. Whats your name?" She smiles at the fact that your okay and says "Names A.K. Year... long... y! Yeah, A.K. Yearlongy. What's yours?" You're about to respond when you spot the mares through the car door window about to come into your part of the train. You chuckle nervously and say in a rushed, panicked tone... "Um...yeah nice to meet you Yearlongy, I have ta.... go... check out the... LOOK, A DISTRACTION!" You point your hoof away from yourself when you said that and like all those times before it works and "Yearlongy" looks at where you pointed (*1). You quickly run into a nearby closet... the same closet that the robber is in. The robber gets up while mumbling "What hit m*slam*" You just so happened to slam into him while rushing into the closet which knocks him into the wall and causes a bunch of luggage to bury him. You were too terrified of being caught by those mares to notice. As well, just hold position on the train. Considering everything that's happened, it would be foolish to reveal yourself to anyone, especially the bearers of the elements and the royal family. Make sure you have an escape route. You decide that the safest option is to just stay in the closet (you get the feeling that somebody is immaturely laughing at that part) and not get beaten to death. You know you're disguised, but considering it tends to wear off at the worst possible moments, you decide it would be safer to just stay in here. But, you also know that you need a escape plan just in case you get caught in here. Let's see... escape plan, escape plan, escape plan... *ding* I know! When the train starts to slow down for a stop, I'll make a mad dash towards the caboose and jump off the train and watch as they all go to wherever the train is going towards while I get away scot-free! You nod your head with a smile at your clever idea. Now to just to wait until the train stops... 30 MINUTES LATER HOW LONG IS THIS TRAIN RIDE?! You think to yourself in anger. You've been huddled up in this closet for the past 30 minutes. Not only are you scared stiff because you think this closet is haunted (you keep hearing groaning and angry mumbling), but you also have come across a very big problem.... Unfortunatly, you REALLY need to use the restroom You REALLY need to use the bathroom. You've been holding it in ever since you got on the train to leave Appleloosa (remembering that water tower falling did NOT help you at all). You decide that the best course of action would be to listen against the door to see if they are still there. With that thought in mind you put your ear against the door and hear... You realize that listening to the conversation of the six mares could help you stay safe in the future. You perk up when you realize this could be crucial information. You pick up bits and pieces of the conversation. "Ah say we toss 'im off a building." "We should shoot him into SPACE! Space, space, gotta go to space, gotta go to space space..." "I'll drown the ruffian in his own blood!" "Um...that all sounds pretty scary and mean..." "Girls, calm down. Princess Celestia's just gonna chop his head off, plain and simple." "KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Bits and pieces of a very unpleasant (to you) conversation... "Ah say we hang that varmint from the highest tree." Applejack. Of course that species-ist just wants to lynch me. "We should blast him into SPACE with my party cannon! Space, space, gotta go to space, gotta go to space space..." I more worried about Pinkie's sanity than my own at this point... "I'll sew him shut into his tacky coat and drown the ruffian in his own blood!" That's... a little drastic. I mean how would she even- Oh yeah... needles *shiver* "I say we pound his eyeballs out of his skull! Eye for an eye!" You still have both your eyes you stinkin fillyfooler! "Um... that all sounds pretty scary and mean... And Rainbow Dash, you just have a black eye so it wouldn't be fair..." Thank you Fluttershy for being the only sane one among your group. "I still say we should tie him up and kick him from the highest cloud and strike him with lightning on the way down!" Okay, she has SERIOUS anger issues... "Girls, calm down. Princess Celestia is just going to have him decapitated, plain and simple." SWEET MOTHER LUNA WHY ME!? CAN'T I JUST GET A TIME OUT OR SOMETHING! I LIKE MY HEAD ON MY SHOULDERS THANK YOU VERY MUCH! "KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" I'm seriously starting to worry about Pinkie's stability. Oh, note to self: keep anything that can cause a fire AWAY from Pinkie. You continue to hear bits and pieces of the conversation, including the fact that Princess Celestia is visiting Ponyville tomorrow with her pet bird. You decide that it would be for the best if you left Ponyville before Celestia notice your presence. Suddenly, the urge to use the bathroom becomes too strong and you whisper to yourself, "Screw it, CHARGE!" With that you charge out of the closet and run straight into the bathroom. There was already a blue TARDIS colored mare in the bathroom, but you politely asked her to leave, and by that I mean you grabbed her and threw her out of the bathroom while yelling, "IT'S A EMERGENCY!" COUPLE MINUTES LATER You walk out of the bathroom with a small smile and a sigh of happiness. You're about to go back to the closet when you see... Looking around the train you see a viger tester near the doors, wow! They only made five of those! They where so accurate the put them in fallout equestria! If you remember correctly they mesure your "special" stats cool! Walking over you put you hoof on the lever and pull, your special was: strength 6 perception 2 endurance 10+ charisma 7 intelligence 3 agility 2 1/2 Luck -10 well the luck one was Spot on, but an intelligence of 3?! Buck no, and you where waaaay more perceptive and agile then that! Those stats had to be wrong! you try it again, same stats. again, no change. Heck you had three different ponys try it and it gave diffrent rateings for all of them! You tryed it one last time after that, NO BUCKING CHANGE!!! You sighed in fofit and reformed to your train ride, At least they Wernt all ones, you promised your self you would work on those stats.... Mabey after month, yeah definitly after a month. *Perk gained*: "epic fail" Knowing one or more of your stats are low gives You a little more Determination, you now have a 0.1% higher success rate. A stinking viger near the doors. Wow! They were so accurate that they put them in "Fallout Equestria" even though they only made five of those (something about the inventor being institutionalized for rambling about Armageddon being caused by screaming salt shakers)! If you remember correctly, they measure your "special" stats... cool! Walking over, you put you hoof on the lever and pull, your special was: Strength 6 Perception 2 Endurance 10+ Charisma 7 Intelligence 3 Agility 2 1/2 Luck -10 Well, the luck one was spot on as it does suck that much, but an intelligence of 3?! Buck no, and I'm waaaay more perceptive and agile than that! Those stats had to be wrong! You try it again. Same stats, again. No change. You had three different ponies (who gave you weird looks when you asked them to prove the stupid machine wrong) try it and it gave different ratings for all of them! You tried it one last time after that, NO BUCKING CHANGE!!! You sighed in forfeit and begin to head back to the closet. No wonder they locked up the creator in the loony bin... At least they weren't ALL ones... You promised your self you would work on those stats... maybe after a month, yeah definitely after a month. *Perk gained*: "epic fail" Knowing that one or more of your stats are low gives you a little more Determination, you now have a 0.1% higher success rate. You sigh in annoyance and can't help but think, Stupid lady luck. "Hey ya jerk!" You turn your head in surprise to see that TARDIS colored mare (which you can now see is a pegasus with a half-note cutie mark with fire orange mane) that you threw out of the bathroom is glaring at you. She gives you a look that promises pain to you and says, "What makes you think that you could throw me out of the bathroom. Your lucky that I don't have my lighter and matches or you would so be... burned." She gives you a look with her ice-colored eyes that reminds you of how Pinkie was looking at you during the Royal Wedding... and that did not end well. Just as you're about to run away, you realize something. Wait a minute... TARDIS-colored coat, ice-colored eyes, half-note cutie mark, fire-orange mane, a pegasus, threatening me with fire... It can't be... You can't help but whisper the name of the pony in front of you in shock, "Lightning Chaser" It's is then that you realize that not only have you angered a potentially dangerous mare (she's wanted in Manehatten if you remember from your last meeting with her (*2)but you also have the five mares to deal with. You sigh and think, What else could possibly go wrong... *SCREEEEEECH* Suddenly the train makes a screeching hault and you are lunched forward into a nearby wall while Lighting crashes into the wall behind you. You get up and ask dizzily, "What happened..." The train hits a broken rail, stopping it until it can be repaired. Now you're stuck on a train with five mares that want you beaten, stabbed, cut into pieces, and drowned. Suddenly, the speaker phone goes on and the conductor says, "Sorry about that folks, but the train has hit a broken rail and until it can be fixed we will be waiting here, do not panic and stay calm." You give a deadpanned look before you facehoof and mutter under your breath... "I just had to ask didn't I... Curse you lady luck!" What do you do?