//------------------------------// // Small, Innocuous Really // Story: Silly Little Things // by divinearcadia //------------------------------// Celestia woke with the slow, deep yawn of one well rested and lingering in that glorious twilight between wakefulness and sleep. She stretched languorously on her satin bed sheets, wrinkling and bunching them up in the perfect state of laziness only one who has worked so hard for so long can ever achieve. She worked her mouth a little as she smacked her lips to rid herself of that horrid morning feel even she was prone to have. She checked her internal clock, as cracking an eye open would cause her to lose this wonderful feeling, and discovered that it was a quarter to five in the morning. Plenty of time for her to indulge in a lazy Saturday morning. With that thought firmly in mind, she relaxed her hold on consciousness, drifting into a light half-sleep. She lazed about in that way, her slight wakefulness letting her truly enjoy her current state of relaxation while she checked the time occasionally, and drifted back to sleep for a good hour until finally she woke up again. This time, when she stretched, the yawn from her body told her that it had more than enough sleep and was ready for the day, brimming with subdued energy. *Oh, how I wish I had more days like this,* she thought as she stretched to the point where her vision frosted over slightly and left her with a deep seated contentment in her muscles. She finally opened her slumber-heavy eyelids, looked around the dark room, and spotted the bathroom. She slipped off her bed in possibly the most un-princessly way since the time Luna had discovered pizza and spent literally two days binging in her room. Luna had been grounded from pizza for two months once Celestia had learned that the Griffon ambassador had been received in a room littered with pizza boxes and leftovers up to her knees. Celestia got to her hooves after appreciating the feel of her cashmere rug rubbing against her coat for a few moments, then padded to her bathroom, where she brushed her teeth but ignored the rest of her daily rituals. There was no Royal Court today, and the only item on her itinerary was lunch with Twilight and her friends. Surely they wouldn't mind relaxing with her in her room, right? After all, Celestia considered all of Twilight's friends her friends, and Twilight had spent more than one excessively lazy day with her, so they shouldn't mind a little informality. With that thought, Celestia finished her ablutions with a few good spits in the sink followed by a mouthful of water to rinse out the residue. She then made her way back to her bed and flopped back onto it unceremoniously. It was a good day to be a Princess. She checked the clock and found that it was time to raise the sun. She yawned as her horn lit up to once again renew the solar cycle. Once the sun was in its rightful place, her stomach growled at her in a pleading tone. Now she had to mull over what she wanted to eat. She rolled over and looked outside and saw the tops of ancient hazelnut trees wafting in the cool mountain breeze. A slow smile spread across her face as she knew what to have for breakfast. Another quick ignition of her horn, just long enough to pull her bell rope, had a unicorn maid walking into her room a few seconds later. “Good morning, Princess,” she said happily as she saw Celestia sprawled out on the bed. “Was there something you needed?” “I was thinking about candied hazelnuts for breakfast. The large green jar patterned with various leaves near the back of the third pantry would be perfect. Also, please pass on that I'm taking a sabbatical today and am not to be disturbed except for my meals, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends, my sister, and national emergencies of the highest magnitude. Otherwise, delegate my duties to Luna as needed.” The maid smiled and bowed slightly before she turned to go about her requests. Celestia felt her lips curl up in an incredibly wide smile as she closed her eyes to nap again. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she closed her eyes, but a gentle knocking roused her enough to call out to the pony outside to come in. It was the same maid from before with the jar of candied hazelnuts in tow. “I apologize for the delay, Princess, but the jar needed a thorough cleaning before being brought up. The seal is still intact, as are the preservation spells, so please enjoy your treat.” “Thank you, that should be all for now.” Once the maid left, Celestia levitated the jar over to the side of the bed with a giggle of foalish glee at snacking on such things solely for breakfast. With a grin, she broke the heavy wax seal and tore the thin scrap of linen that had helped keep these wonderful treats fresh for so many centuries. They were a gift from the king and queen of the deer tribes that still lived in the vast coniferous forest north of Vanhoover. She made it a point to visit, or extend an invitation for them to visit each year, especially since they had such unique resources and magic that could not be found or learned elsewhere. That and the confectionery skills of their tribes was truly a blessing to this world. As she looked in at the golden crystalline wonders, Celestia decided to take her time and savor her first treat as she levitated one to her mouth. The first bite was accompanied by a resonating crack as she shattered the hardened honey coating, followed almost immediately by a slightly softer crunch as she bit into the meat of the hazelnut which had been roasted in cinnamon and nutmeg oil to a crispy and succulent finish. As she chewed the treat, its flavors blended into a symphony of taste unlike anything one could find in all of Equestria. She lay there for a moment relishing the taste before remembering that she had a jar of nuts that was half the size of the average pony for her to enjoy. Smiling to herself, Celestia melted into her mattress and continued to snack on the candied nuts. She brought a book over and began reading as she methodically reduced the level of candied treats. Roughly ten minutes after she started reading, the appearance of her sister in a blinding flash of light brought her out of the enthralling story, but didn't faze her enough to deter her from popping another treat in her mouth. “A sabbatical?” Luna asked in a deadpan. “Mmmhmm,” Celestia hummed as she chewed. “You. Leaving me in charge of Equestria for the day.” “Yep.” “Why?” “I haven't had a day off in centuries. You've been re-acclimated to society, you have two fully competent sets of advisors, and you owe me after that two day pizza binging stunt you pulled.” Luna blushed at the memory. “Fine. Enjoy your day off, sister. I guess it wouldn't hurt to rule by myself for a day.” “It's only a Saturday anyway. You'll be fine.” “Can I have some of those?” Luna asked as she saw Celestia roll over onto her back so she could drop one from a few feet up into her mouth, timing the drop just right so that she crushed the nut just as it entered her mouth. “Nope.” “Please?” “Not sharing.” Luna lowered herself slightly, putting on her best pout: quivering lower lip, slightly watery eyes, folded back ears and just a hint of a whine. It took a whole three seconds for Celestia to crack under Luna's sneaky, childish assault. “Gah! Fine... Take a few and leave me be. I still can't believe your pouting still gets to me.” “Victory is mine!” Luna yelled, giggling at her sister's antics. “Thank you as well, dear sister.” Just as Luna popped a hazelnut into her mouth with an audible crunch, Celestia said, “Those are over eight hundred years old, just so you know.” Luna's spittake was priceless. Shock, revulsion and fear flashed across her face in the span of a second, bits of hazelnut being spewed in a wide cone. Celestia found herself laughing hysterically at her sister's reaction; it wasn't often she had a chance to set her sister up so perfectly. “I swear you'll get yours someday soon.” “Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, but right now, I don't care.” Luna just snorted with an amused smirk, levitating a few more hazelnuts over before teleporting off to only she knew where. Celestia sighed a moment later as she dropped another nut in her mouth and snorted in amusement at her sister. Luna may win a battle here or there, but she'd never win the war. For the next few hours, Celestia spent her time doing nothing productive. As the morning went on, it came as a bit of a surprise when she inadvertently caught a whiff of surprisingly pungent body odor. She grimaced in annoyance and revulsion. She would have ignored it in favor of lazy delight if only Twilight and her friends weren't coming to visit with her, but they were, so with a sigh of reluctance, she made her way to her bathroom, procrastinating a while before finally bothering to bathe herself. Once she had left the room, something stirred. It was small, innocuous really, something that would have been easily ignored if not for its uniqueness. The little thing crawled from within Celestia's jar of prized treats, its forelegs hanging over the lip of the jar as it peered around in search of sustenance. It had light gray chitinous skin, verdant green tufts of hair for its mane and tail, and insectlike wings that displayed a vibrancy of color more common of oil on water. It looked around owlishly with light blue eyes as it sniffed the air, searching for something. It took but a few seconds before it chirruped softly to its fellows before fluttering its wings and taking flight. It landed on Celestia's bed, settling itself comfortably as it situated an alabaster white hair before its mouth and bit into it. As the strange little thing ate its meal, a number of its compatriots emerged groggily from the jar before joining it in a similar meal. Once they ate a couple of fine white hairs, their wings glowed with an ethereal light, expanding and wrapping them in cocoons that began to glow with a light reflecting the various pastel colors that adorned Celestia. Their cocoons unwrapped a minute later with a brilliant flash of light into a pair of perfectly sculpted alabaster wings. They emerged, having transformed into tiny copies of Celestia, roughly one-fiftieth the size of the original. They looked around for their predecessor for a few moments before spreading out in search of her. It took but a few minutes before one of them chirruped to the others. They heeded their compatriot's call within seconds, rushing to its side as they gazed upon their progenitor, taking in her actions and mannerisms for almost a minute before departing as far as they could within their confined environment to mimic her. As she was expecting no intrusion besides Twilight, who was practically family, Celestia had left her bathroom door open, revealing her most private personal joy for the world to behold: Her love of singing opera in the shower. Many years ago, one of her subjects had sung one of the most beautiful arias she had ever heard. That one song had inspired Celestia to sing the same song quietly to herself, ideally with the background noise of running water. In the beginning, she confined her singing to the shower for fear of one of the maids overhearing. Over the years, the Princess of the Sun had sculpted her voice into a gloriously melodic tenor which would have been welcomed, nay, pleaded for with nary a word of protest the world over, if only she would let her singing voice sound beyond the walls of her bathroom and a very few select individuals. She had never once expected to be seen nor overheard due to the enchantments placed over her rooms, so she had no compunctions about singing such songs in her shower. However, on this day, her precautions were for naught as she had her own miniature audience in attendance, watching and listening to her every noise and action for all of one minute before they had seen enough and wandered off to their own ends. So, oblivious to her audience, Celestia finished her shower with a grandiose crescendo before exiting her sanctum of cleanliness just in time for a knock on the door to alert her to the presence of either Twilight and her friends or a truly dire emergency. Luckily for her, it was the former. “Princess!” Twilight called joyously as she entered the room while Celestia continued to towel the scented water from her body. “Twilight, you should know that formalities never really mattered to me...” Celestia chided her student-come-friend and equal. “Sorry,” Twilight said as a slight blush came across her face. “Old habits die hard I guess?” Celestia gave a radiant laugh at her reaction as Twilight's friends entered her bedroom. “It's good to see all of you. How have all of you been?” Each of the mares responded with various levels of cheer and enthusiasm as they looked around Celestia's rather spartan bedroom. “Please, join me on my bed. It is truly a wonderful creation and should be enjoyed by more than me, the lazy Princess that I am.” “Come on, Princess...” Rainbow Dash replied almost instantly. “Compared to me, everypony is lazy.” Applejack snorted her amusement at her friend's words. “Put in a day at the Acres an' I'll show ya who's lazy.” “Please...” Rarity interrupted with a casual flip of her elegantly styled mane. “Try owning a business that caters to the truly elite and we shall see about that, Applejack.” “If only you knew what it was like to plan, organize and execute five birthday surprise spectaculars,” Pinkie Pie cut in. “At once!” Fluttershy entered silently, as was usual for her, among her friends' casual arguing and bickering. Celestia just smiled contentedly at the group of ponies as they talked about their lives and the stresses they brought about. It took a few moments before the majority of them remembered where they were, but soon enough found themselves in silent awe as they looked around the inner sanctum of their Sun Princess. “Oh! Please forgive my boorish behavior, Princess,” Rarity began with a bow bordering on assimilation with the exquisite alabaster floor. “We've been so rude it's inexcusable!” “Please, Rarity, think nothing of it. I'm taking a sabbatical today so, if anything, I should be thanking you for joining me on this unexpected holiday.” “Really?” Twilight said with a mix of happiness and curiosity. “I think you've only taken five in all the years I've known you, three of which were when I got sick at the castle or had that one transmogrification accident.” “Since Luna's finally adjusted to modern life in Canterlot, I felt it was about time I let her handle things on her own, even if it happens to just be for a Saturday.” “I'm sure she appreciates it.” “Not as much as you would think,” Celestia said, chuckling. “I dropped it on her unexpectedly and only gave her a few of my candied hazelnuts before sending her on her way.” At her words, Pinkie and Rainbow began snickering while Applejack gave a bark of laughter. “She'll do alright.” “That's not very nice,” Twilight chided. “Maybe, but I felt it was about time I repaid her for a few things. I suppose I may as well share a few of her misadventures with you to prove my point, so why don't you all join me in my solarium after I call up lunch,” she finished with a toothy grin. They all agreed with various bemused looks, though Fluttershy sported a slight frown. With that, Celestia pulled her bell rope; a moment later, the same maid from earlier entered to hear her request before leaving. That done, Celestia led the way into the solarium, whose floor to ceiling windows let in so much light that it took them all a moment to adjust their eyes. The room was very warm, but also very comfortable, and had little in the way of furniture. Piles of pillows and a pair of low tables were set around for lounging and intimate gatherings between her and her sister, close friends, and those she would consider family. Celestia made her way to the larger table, stopping a few steps short of the pile of cushions, and stared at something. The rest of her guests stopped, confused by Celestia's behavior, but soon found themselves looking at the same thing she was looking at. There, on a plush red velvet pillow, was Celestia--that is, if she were small enough to fit inside a tea cup. The tiny Celestia looked up and over to see a small group of ponies wearing expressions of shock and surprise. It smiled to itself, having finally found somepony to express itself to, and chirruped to alert its companions. From the pile of cushions emerged roughly forty other miniature Celestias, all yawning and slightly groggy. Seeing the other ponies, they all perked up excitedly, They quickly flapped their wings and gathered together on the low table that was to be their stage, conversed quickly in little chirps and trilling notes, then arranged themselves in a grid, eager expressions on their faces. Then they began to sing. Individually, their voices may have been lost or faintly heard at best, but together they created a wonderful symphony that was about as loud as Celestia's gentle speaking voice. They sang for about a minute, trotting in place, waving their forelegs in the air and performing many amusing antics that would have had their collective audience laughing if they weren't still in a state of shock. Once they finished, they looked up happily, jumping a little and dancing with one another while they chirped about their successful rendition of their progenitor's behavior, with a little dance number thrown in. Twilight, being the first to come to her senses as she watched a small horde of miniature Celestias joyously cavorting about on a tabletop, asked the first, and most sensible thing that she could come up with. “What?” As if that were the opening of the floodgates, the rest of the group finally responded. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Applejack all found themselves supporting and being supported by the others as they laughed in unrestrained mirth. Fluttershy, not quite knowing what to do, watched the little things on the table in silence while half hiding behind her mane. Rarity was desperately trying not to laugh, if the tears in her eyes and the blush on her cheeks were any sign. Twilight was still trying to get her mind in gear, but it kept slipping as her attention was constantly diverted by one or another of the little things on the table. Celestia herself flushed crimson, lowering herself to the floor and turning her head around to hide her embarrassment under a wing. “What in the world is going on, Princess?” Twilight asked eventually. Celestia just mumbled something indiscernible from under her wing. “I can't understand you.” Celestia whipped her head out from under her wing and half yelled, “They're Mimic Mites and I thought they had been extinct for hundreds of years, but here they are, dancing and singing in my own room!” “Mimic Mites?” Twilight echoed, her mind wracking itself for the appropriate information before finally saying, “I've never heard of them. What are they?” “Well, they're pretty darn funny little critters, that's for sure,” Applejack cut in, earning a glare from both alicorns. “What? It's true.” “But that still doesn't answer my question,” Twilight replied with a mildly grumpy look at her friend. “Princess? Can you tell us what they are?” “I suppose...” she replied, face still flushed in embarrassment. “Mimic Mites are strange little things. Their instincts drive them to replicate ponies, eating loose coat hairs and transforming into miniature versions of the pony the hair came from. Once they've transformed, they seek out the original pony and watch their behavior for a short while before wandering off to repeat this behavior, with some added antics for others as you can see.” “That's a liiittle creepy,” Dash cut in. “Well, dust mites eat dead skin cells, so this isn't any weirder,” Twilight replied to Dash, who made a face. “What do they look like normally?” “They slightly resemble Changelings, but they're much smaller and are completely harmless unless you count embarrassing situations. They remain changed for several days before reverting to their original forms. Not much was known about them back when they were a common sight, but I do recall that much at least.” “So... what do we do now?” Twilight asked as she looked to the silly little things on the table. “We do nothing but let nature run its course, though I wouldn't mind keeping them locked in my rooms until they change back.” “I suppose that would work,” she conceded. “What will you do when they change back?” “Likely let them go about their business and plant a few in Luna's rooms,” Celestia answered with a little grin. “She would likely let them all loose if she were to find out about them.” At her words, as though the universe were plotting against her, the crackle of arcane energy and displaced air came from Celestia's bedroom. “Oh, Sister, I need your assistance with someth--” Luna trailed off as she noticed the Mimic Mites. “What are those?” “Mimic Mites,” Applejack supplied. “And why do they look like Celestia?” “Because that's what they do,” Pinkie answered. “But the dancing and singing?” “They're just repeating what they saw the Princess doing with a few flourishes,” Rarity replied. “Uh huh...” Luna said in a flat tone. “Luna, no...” Celestia warned as she moved in front of her sister. “I know what you're thinking and I won't let you do it.” “Whatever do you mean?” she replied guilelessly. “No pizza for a year if even one is missing before I let them loose,” she threatened. Luna's horn lit up immediately and there was a series of little popping noises from behind her. “Luna!” “Totally worth it,” Luna replied with a wicked grin. “And I know exactly where they are, so technically, they're not missing.” “Where did you send them?!” Celestia half yelled in mortification. “The town square in Ponyville,” Luna answered, bubbling with laughter as she rolled onto her back, clutching her sides. “Oh my...” Fluttershy muttered quietly. “'Oh my' is right,” Rarity said, hiding a smile with her hoof. “I guess there's nothing for it but to go see what damage you've caused,” Celestia said with a defeated sigh. “I just wanted a day to do nothing. No duties, no worries, just relaxing with my friends.” Luna's laughter quickly subsided as she got back up with a contrite expression and nuzzled Celestia. “I'm sorry. That was rash of me. You did spring this on me all of a sudden and I guess I wanted to get back at you. I didn't mean to ruin your day.” “It's alright, Luna,” Celestia replied. “I'll just take another sabbatical next Saturday and I'll sneak some into your room when you least expect it, letting them catch you doing something embarrassing before releasing them in a similar manner.” Luna just raised an eyebrow and smirked back at her sister. “I suppose I'll have to keep my guard up then.” “I suppose you will at that,” Celestia agreed with a wicked smile of her own. “But for now, I suppose we should make our way to Ponyville to see what's going on and inform the locals about it.” “That might be a wise course of action,” Luna replied with a little grin. “I hope they're not running around screaming when we show up,” Twilight cut in with an exasperated sigh. “You two have no idea how many days start in that town in exactly that way. Sometimes, it's almost too quiet in the mornings here at Canterlot for my taste.” “Surely you jest, Twilight,” Luna said as she turned to her. “It's true,” the five other mares said in unison, which made Luna raise her eyebrows in surprise. “Okay,” Celestia said to prevent the conversation from going off on another tangent. “Let's be on our way.” Despite Luna's expression of wounded curiosity, she nodded as did the others. Celestia directed them to gather close around her so that she could teleport them all just outside of the town square. Within moments, a brilliant golden flash of light blinded them for a second before clearing away to reveal a quiet town square. “Well...” Twilight said nervously as she sensed the atmosphere. “This is new.”