(Before you read, this is that Obligatory explain human sort of thing to Twilight, only partly done since she's on a scheldule, so this is sort of how you call filler so you can skip this one if you want until the last part which has some sort of plot...MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! I won't be offended...promise!)
So, I just realized, I haven’t even talked to any of the Elements of Harmony lately…well except Dashie but she doesn’t count because she’s my boss when I see her anyways and I wouldn’t right now because she learned a valuable lesson on STOP SHOWING OFF YOUR HEORICNESS YOU PRICK!
I remember Twilight wanting a few questions about my race, it’s going to happen inevitably and I see no reason why I should delay this any further.
I still haven’t forgotten about Firefly, I think I do love her, but how to go about it? I have to admit I have no Celestia-damned experience with this sort of thing, I would ask Rarity about how mares go about this thing but…yeah…might get on that later because I’m not even going to begin to go into what’s wrong with that.
So here I am, at Twilight’s door, casually knocking when Spike answered the door, clearly Twilight is buried in a book.
“Sup Spike?” I greeted
“Sup Lightning” Spike greeted back
“Nothing much Spike my main dragon, Twilight around?” I asked
“Sure, she’s buried in a book, I’ll go get her” Spike answered as I was invited in
I sat down on the nearest seat and waited patiently for Twilight to show up, not surprisingly she took about 10 minutes because she was buried in a book, personally she really needs to get laid! Perhaps I should set Cloud Kicker on her? Only if necessary…
“Ah Gavin, you’re here” Twilight greeted
“Just Lightning Bolt will do fine” I corrected her
“Okay then, Lightning, what brings you here?” Twilight asked
“Well to answer a few questions about my race of course, you wanted to know earlier and today is a day where nothing is happening so I’d thought I’d come by and plus what friend would I be if I don’t see them at all?” I answered
“Well, I too have nothing today, let me just get notes and a quill and we get started shall we?” Twilight went to grab her supplies
“Of course” I answered sitting down
Not surprisingly, Twilight had a LOT of parchment and ink and a few spare quills to write down everything! Overkill much?
“So, first question I suppose, what do you call your planet back home?” Twilight asked
“We call it Earth, a planet that is one third land and two thirds of it is pure ocean, but us humans are land creatures although we have the technology to traverse on the water’s surface or even fly over it to visit other land masses” I explained
“Interesting, such things exist to help you do such feats” Twilight muttered to herself
“See, we don’t have magic on Earth, in fact, we are relatively almost harmless compared to other animals on our planet but we made it to the top thanks to our ingenious minds that makes our weapons, homes and survival skills just I case random bodies start wanting to eat our organs somehow causing our numbers to diminish into less than 100.” I explained our lack of magic
“WHAT? You don’t have any magic at all?” Twilight repeated, the fact was unbelievable to her ears
“Best believe it Twi, cause there ain’t a single drop on Earth, all we know is that it’s just fantasy, not real at all as far as we are concerned but me coming here and this world being real obviously proves it real but not in my world, in fact I don’t even know if this universe is the same one as I am in or if it’s a completely different universe.” I said
“Well, we do have a Multi-verse theory which says we are but one universe in a series of many limitless universes” Twilight muttered to herself
“That too, for all I know, this could be part of our universe, or it’s an entirely different one altogether, I have no idea what sent me here, one minute I was walking with some friends, the next, stuck in the Everfree Forest with no clue which way was out” I said
“That is something I do not know, perhaps the Princess would know but I don’t think knowledge would be handed out freely if there were some explanation” Twilight put her hoof on her chin in thought
“Probably for the better in case that knowledge came into the wrong hands, it’s too dangerous to risk. But enough of that, next question” I said
“How many of you “Humans” are there?” Twilight asked
“Um, I haven’t looked up any statistics lately, but I’d say at least six billion humans live on Earth as a rough estimate. I know for a fact that you ponies only go by around 4 million, but maybe the combined species may match up to our number” I said
“SIX BILLION?! T-That’s quite a number” Twilight said, not sure whether to be shocked or impressed
“Six billion? What’s that? Must be huge” Spike asked, having no clue of the number
“Well put six and then add about 9 zeros on the end” Twilight answered
Spike took a moment to imagine a number like that, he then looked in awe.
“Ok…that is big” Spike said
“Yeah and for some reason, the smaller countries have the biggest populations” I added
“But how does somepony feed that many souls?” Twilight asked
“What you gotta understand Twilight, is that we are all divided into different countries, much like Equestira, Zebrica and the Griffon Kingdom. Except our species is the only one that talks and such, but there are animals that are non-sentient and all and some of which are pets. Some of our planet aren’t lucky enough to afford a decent meal while most of us can eat three meals a day, no problem like you ponies” I explained
“That’s horrible” Twilight gasped
“My planet is a tough one, especially tougher if you’re born into an unlucky place such as a war-torn country or something. In the past, countries went to war with each other over things, one such one was about 70 years ago dubbed “World War II”! Believe me, it’s bad enough learning about the horrors of it, but to experience it, I’d rather not personally but you didn’t have a choice really. We’ve tried to limit as much war as possible and keep peace but there will always be those that try” I explained
Twilight, I could tell was trying to imagine something really brutal, it made her shudder.
“It’d be worse if you knew what weapons we have, it would tear anything apart in an instant unless you had a really powerful shield, and if you’re unlucky enough, you’d been blown up by a nuke and we’ve got enough to blow our own planet several times over. All it would take for just one to go off is a mad person with a itchy trigger finger” I explained
Twilight looked absolutely distraught, I am too, here such stories are taken lightly, but the reality is, we could be seconds away from being vaporized and we wouldn’t have a damn chance. If one were to land here, Canterlot and Ponyville would be vaporized along with the Element and Princesses. It saddens me to no end that we resort to such violence to solve such things.
“I’m sorry Twilight, maybe I shouldn’t of gone into that, but it’s true and we should be thankful such things never exist here, we’ll move onto a brighter subject shall we?” I said
“T-That would be nice” Twilight said
“Well how about some of our technology we use that isn’t dangerous?” I suggested
“Sure” Twilight answered
“Well, we can travel at speeds 100km/h safely in Metal carriages we call cars along the surface although the potential can be over 200km/h. We even have planes that can traverse across the air at 700km/h easily” I said
“Rainbow Dash would like that” Twilight said
“There are stunt fliers on our planet much like the Wonderbolts, except we use our planes which we call jets that are designed to super maneuverable and fast but very dangerous in a crash as the source to fly this thing is fuel and is will explode in a crash so you’d need some serious training just to be able to fly one” I explained
“Sounds definitely like Rainbow Dash’s thing” Twilight commented
“Yeah, we have come a long way in the last 2 centuries, Equestria looks like something of our medieval times” I said
“When we found out about you, you said our lives were some sort of show, can you explain that?” Twilight asked
“Well Imagine a box that has images of stuff like say cartoons or even ponies and such from it, it’s hard to explain but the show was one of many shows on TV, like I said before, I have no idea how the creators accurately figured out this stuff, perhaps it was all just a random happening” I explained
“Interesting, but We’re out of time as I must get things done and If I get any more out of synch with my schedule, the whole month will be messed up!” Twilight said
“Well it was a pleasure answering stuff, maybe I can do some more maybe next time” I said
I got up to leave, I said Good-bye to Spike because I’m a good friend and all, besides he’s like the only male friend I have in this world besides Sky High who I haven’t seen in a while, we males gotta look out for each other in this mare-infested world.
Meanwhile…
Cloud Kicker was chilling when suddenly a voice came in her head…
“Cloud Kicker! CLLLLOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUD KIIIIIIICKKKKKEEER!”
“Who’s there?”
“Me, your conscious”
“Okay what do you want? If you’re here to tell me to stop banging ponies, the answer is no!”
“I actually like that for the record, but I come for a different reason”
“Then spill it dude”
“You must get Lightning Bolt and Firefly together as a couple”
“Why? I mean they’re taking their time”
“EXACTLY! It’s taking forever! It’s 13 chapters in and not a damn date has happened! It’s time those two got together and as their best friend, you must assist those two into realizing their feeling for each other! The fate of the world depends upon thee!”
“But what do you want me to do about it?”
“Set them up on a blind date, they won’t know it’s each other until it’s too late!”
“Well Hearts and Hooves day is two weeks away, they’ll have a date and they’ll like it!”
“Sounds good, make sure they have no clues to find out, we’re counting on you”
“I know, I will do my duty to ship my friends together”
Cloud Kicker went out to make the prepartions for the Blind date, it’s only two weeks away!
“YES! Lightning Bolt and Firefly will be together, MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
To be romantically continued...