//------------------------------// // Party Plans and Physical Impossiblity // Story: To Serve Bronies // by Fuzzy Necromancer //------------------------------// Sounds of an argument drifted up from the stairwell. Spike hefted up the flaxen parka and sighed. Twilight Sparkle was generally an open-minded pony, but when she got a bee in her academic bonnet she could be really stubborn and resistant to things that threw her assumptions out the window. "Okay, an automatic fusion generator sun I could buy, and maybe some inborn season shift I could believe, but this is outrageous. How could a slight tilt cause the entire seasonal variation without throwing the planet into periodic chaos? There's got to be some kind of princess or sun-emperor or divine cooperative to keep that stuff running in such a bizarre groove. It goes against all sense!" "Cool down, okay! I didn't make up the rules, and I'm not a scientist. I don't know about sun-gods, I'm just a non-denominational Christian." Twilight Sparkle sighed as Spike patted her side and lay the coat on her. "Alright, sorry. I just wish somebody a little more knowledgeable had come over from the other side. There's so much we could learn about you!" she whimpered. "This is like having nine seconds to memorize a timetable with your eyes crossed." The human frowned and squirmed under his straps. "Are you saying I'm stupid?" Twilight shook her head. "No, not at all. I just really wish there was a specialist here to give me a broader picture of your world. That amberic current sounds pretty interesting, and there's still a lot of gaps in my understanding of the self-regulating ecosystem." Her stomach growled noisily. "Missed lunch?" the human said. Twilight blushed. "Um, Spike? Could you get two fried egg and daisy sandwiches, two strawberry milkshakes , and two baskets of hay fries? Also you should get something for my guest here." "I still don't see why you need to know all of this stuff to make a send-me-home spell," the human said, narrowing its beady suspicious predator's eyes. "Well, the more I know, the better I have a chance of mapping out the cosmic resonance, and the less likelihood I have of accidentally transporting half of you to your native realm, or evenly distributing your biomass over a circle five miles in diameter. " Twilight said, tapping her hooves together and drooling with magic-nerd excitement. "Let me tell you about growing up in southern Jersey," the human said. # Pinkie Pie darted between the lengthening shadows. It was chilly out for this time of year. The air was more humid than usual. Also there were lots of unicorns traveling in small groups and whispering excitedly, but Pinkie Pie didn't think this strange. Okay, so maybe that experiment with Gilda didn't work out, but that was different. Gilda was the meanest griffin she'd ever met. She'd met a couple Swiftheart and Kelly at Rainbow Falls, and they had completely confirmed her supposition. Pinkie Pie sighed as Lemon Hearts scurried past her with a look of mingled hunger and fear. “Meanest...griffin..ever!” Pinkie gripped a hoof-tack with her tail and pinned the InterPlanar Block Party notice to the bulletin board outside Mayor's Hall. Above her, somepony was shouting. “For the last time, I don't care what half-roostered rumors you've heard, Ponyville does NOT need a professional human-hunting security force, NOR would we budget a sizeable grant to subcontract your services if it did. You've got a lot of nerve showing your faces here again.” Pinkie Pie made sure the hoof tack was properly centered as Flim and Flam went sailing past her with horseshoe marks imprinted on the seats of their brown baggy Humanbuster uniforms and their patented protonic containment field. Pinkie had learned her lesson ever since Gummy's latest birthday party and after-party, and not just the one about giving your friends the benefit of the doubt. Even with a bottle of water and throat-drops, singing telegrams were too much to deliver to all her friends, much less a good 11% of the town's population. She sidled towards Carousel Boutique, dimly aware of some children playing behind her. “Rawr, I'm the evil unicorn prince come to gobble you up!” Button Mash roared, sticking the ice cream cone on his head. “I thought I wath the evil human thaman,” said Twist, with a disappointed whine. “But then who's the baby dragon?” Button asked. Whispering pegasi flew overhead. Pinkie Pie waved to the flower sisters, but instead of tossing her a sample they continued fortifying their stand with arrow slits and working on a small rose-strung trebuchet. Pinkie Pie decided that, nice as they were, she shouldn't invite them to the block party. Once she'd snuck safely into the shadow of the boutique, Pinkie Pie slipped the gold-foil-edged invitation. She range the bell and pinkie-hopped away. As she left, she heard Rarity mumbling about “mint jelly” and “attraction spells”.