//------------------------------// // Chapter 20: The Embattled Domain // Story: Eternal Night // by Lucaro //------------------------------// “You have Dissociative Identity Disorder,” the strange stallion sitting at the other end of the table said. Sirius blinked. He looked around, confused. He was in some run-down diner. The smell of grease and mutton wafted over from the kitchen. The floor and walls had the gray tinge of filth on it. It was small, dimly lit, and had the appearance of a septic morgue. The austerity of the place was strangely comforting. Sirius shifted his wings, and heard the tinkle of chains. His wings were in shackles. He began to panic, and the strange stallion lifted a loaded crossbow and pointed it at him. “Arcturus?” he asked. “Who am I talking to now?” The pegasus shivered, staring at the loaded crossbow in the stallion’s hooves. “My name is Sirius…” he looked around at his strange surroundings, frightened. “How did I get here?” “Ah,” the stallion said, lowering the weapon. “You must be the dominant personality.” The stallion extended him his hoof. “I am Doctor Pharus, and I was just talking to Arcturus. It’s a pleasure to meet such a fascinating pony.” Sirius’ mind was backtracking, struggling to understand. “You said…that I had Dissociative Identity Disorder? Isn’t that like,” he shivered, “multiple personalities?” Doctor Pharus nodded, his gray mane bobbing at the movement. “Yes, we refer to them as alters. You are currently sharing your body with five other ponies, five different manifestations of yourself.” Sirius stared off into space. How can this even be possible? How…? He was beset by a splitting migraine and he groaned in pain. The doctor pushed a cup of brandy at him. “You, all of you, are so amazing,” he said in awe. “Arcturus, a rather classy fellow, told me told me that he was a Night Terror as well. He is your second most dominant personality.” Sirius had drained the whole cup of brandy and slammed the cup back down. “What the hell is going on?” he demanded angrily. “The last memory I have is of me realizing that my mistress had disappeared, and then there was a bloody message on the roof….” “Hush, hush,” the doctor said, enjoying himself. “You told me all this already, but let’s review all that I’ve told you.” Doctor Pharus put a hoof under his chin, a pensive look on his face. “Let’s start at the very beginning. The night when you went insane….” “When Ember attacked my psyche by killing my emotions…." Pharus nodded. “Precisely, your mind dissociated itself to protect your wellbeing. For example, many ponies feel mild dissociation when they are daydreaming. Their mind is split from reality and they are off in their own world, but can easily be brought back. Although…” Pharus said, gesturing towards him. “A D.I.D patient suffers from the most powerful dissociation… his mind completely splits off, or compartmentalizes itself to regulate the pain. If one pony can’t carry the burden of this life, maybe six can. Each alter is an independent and fully functioning personality set with his own likes, dislikes, it’s a completely different pony. Some alters are even of the opposite gender, maybe even of a different sexual orientation. It’s all a wonderful way the pony brain can twist itself to manage trauma.” Doctor Pharus said, reveling in this diagnosis. “Like what happened to you,” he said, gesturing at Sirius. “The average D.I.D patient has 10 other personalities, but it’s so rare of a condition…” Pharus continued, looking wistfully. “So rare that ponies don’t even believe it actually exists.” Sirius was coming to grips with the diagnosis. His mind was racing to make sense of it all. “How did this all start? How did Ember do this to me?” “She shattered your mind into six pieces. There was you, the largest piece where all the others originated from, and the five other pieces that became their own ponies.” Doctor Pharus said, adjusting his spectacles. Sirius finally began to understand. “So, whenever I blacked out….” “Another one of your alters was assuming control of your body,” the psychiatrist explained. “The other personality was as you say “sharing the load” with you. The other personality, yours in this case, falls asleep while the other alter picks up where he last left off. Five ponies are coexisting in your mind, living their own separate lives, pursuing their own ambitions.” “So that explains all my memory lapses. Each time I blacked out, another one of my alters was just waking up.” Sirius was amazed. He knew the pony mind was a powerful thing, but this was on another level. “All the others just dismissed their memory lapses as forgetfulness, or drug usage, the excuses were endless. How could they imagine that they were sharing a body with five other ponies?" Doctor Pharus giggled. “I have traveled the world as a psychiatrist, and this is the first time I’ve confirmed a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder! Oh, with your permission of course, I’ve been writing a case study about you. I’ve been taking notes….” “Can I see your notes?” Sirius said, leaning forward. “I want to know more about my other personas.” Doctor Pharus nodded. “Yes, of course.” He put his briefcase on the dirty table, opened the spring locks, and began shuffling through his papers. Sirius spaced out for a moment. His mind was trying to comprehend this phenomenon. He had been living six different lives at once. He could not imagine how his other alters were like. Doctor Pharus shouted at him, raising his crossbow again. Sirius froze and put his hooves in the air. “Am I still talking to Sirius?” the doctor demanded, shaking the crossbow. “Identify yourself or I will shoot!” “It’s me!” he cried. “It’s still Sirius!” Why was he being so cautious? Doctor Pharus sighed in relief and lowered the crossbow. He then slid some papers towards Sirius. Putting the crossbow on the seat beside him, he leaned over the table and explained. “See, this list here?” Sirius nodded. It had six names on it: Sirius (main), Arcturus (secondary), Levaian, Chaucer, Fenrir, and…written in red ink with danger labels around it, it said: Necron (extremely dangerous). Necron…I have heard that name before, he thought. But for the life of him, he couldn’t remember. Doctor Pharus began to count off his other alters. “There’s Sirius, which is you. There is Arcturus, the pony with incredible artistic talents who is in love with “Morning Glory” a.k.a Sapphire Shine. There is Levaian, a very intellectual pony that has been handling all your assignments from Ember. He wants to be a neurosurgeon and has applied and been accepted to Canterlot Medical School. There is Chaucer, the pony who did not handle his memory lapses well and as a result had a bad drug and alcohol habit. He’s the one that sought me out and went to the hospital a dozen times. There’s Fenrir, very ambitious, yet reckless. He’s the reason Chaucer had to go to the hospital so many times.” The psychiatrist giggled again, wondering. “Imagine waking up every day, covered in terrible wounds you have no idea how you got. I’d go crazy too.” Doctor Pharus fell silent, his hoof hovering over the last name. He raised his crossbow again, pointing it at Sirius’ chest. “Do you know why your condition is worsening? It was manageable before, but now it seems like you have less and less conscious time.” “Wait,” Sirius said, shaking his head and remembering. “Necron was that mass murderer. He was the one who butchered those five gang ponies with a meat cleaver.” Doctor Pharus nodded gravely. “You reported to me that you were having homicidal thoughts. You described them to me as feral urges that led you to kill your mother, correct?” He didn’t even wait for Sirius’ answer. “That’s where it all went. Your mind quarantined all those evil sentiments and murderous desires into one persona: Necron. You did your best to suppress it, but he was too powerful. That’s why you are falling apart right now. Necron wants total control of your body, and is killing off your alters one by one, and eating up their conscious time. Your mind has become a battleground, as you and all your alters struggle to remain in control as Necron attacks them.” Fear clenched Sirius’ heart. “How exactly is he killing my alters off? If their psychological entities, won’t they be impervious?” “Your alters are ponies just like you. They need stability. Necron is setting up traps with hallucinations, sabotaging the life of the other alters, and even full on terrorizing them.” Doctor Pharus sighed, and shrugged. “When the life of an alter collapses, or simply becomes unbearable, Necron can directly attack them and take over. Fenrir was subdued through an assault on his ego, Chaucer overdosed in an attempt to keep himself in control, Levaian was tricked into committing suicide by Necron’s hallucination of a fake rejection letter from Canterlot Medical, and Arcturus is now losing control as well. Arcturus has to find Sapphire alive and well, or else he too will succumb to Necron.” “How do I protect myself?” Sirius said, panicking. Necron had been the one who had written the bloody message on the roof. “You’re next,” it had read. Sirius was next on his hit list. Doctor Pharus sighed, and shrugged. “I guess you have to do all that you can to protect your remaining alter, Arcturus. You have to rescue Sapphire from wherever Necron has kidnapped her to. Stymying his murderous agenda is the only way to stop him. Save Sapphire, you’ll save yourself.” This was all too much to take. He was slowly being taken over by a homicidal maniac. Every time he had a seizure or migraine, his subconscious was actually trying to not only protecting the integrity of his other alters, but to keep his main personality from falling into Necron’s influence. Sirius and Pharus had fallen into silence. They both took tentative sips of their brandy, looking anywhere but at each other. “What happens…” Sirius muttered. “Hmm?” Pharus said, tipsy. “What happens if Arcturus fails and Necron attacks and conquers my main personality?” “Well,” Pharus said. “You won’t be Sirius anymore. Everything that you are right now will be destroyed, and replaced with Necron.” Sirius sighed, looking up at the brown spots of water damage on the roof. No one can save me. No medication, no place of refuge, no friend…. Sirius looked back down at Doctor Pharus. “You gave me a psychological diagnosis. Why did you break the law to help me?” Pharus began to pack up his things. “It wasn’t for you,” he said, not even looking at his patient. “I’m only helping you because I find your disorder interesting.” Pharus took his briefcase and dropped the keys to his wing-shackles in front of him. “Now that I have what I need to write my case study, I won’t be seeing you again.” Sirius watched Doctor Pharus leave the diner and step out into the street, the bells hanging on the door ringing as it slammed shut behind him. Pharus had never cared about him. He had just wanted to write a report on an extremely rare disorder to sate his curiosity and advance his career. Sirius would be receiving no help from him. He was right the first time. He was completely alone. Sirius picked up the key, reached behind his neck and unlocked the shackles. The wooden restraints fell to the ground with a heavy thump, and he moved his wings around to ease the stiffness. A Dayborn waitress refilled his brandy and returned to her duties. Taking a sip of his drink, he whispered to himself. “I guess it’s just you and me, Arcturus.” Arcturus appeared in the seat where Dr. Pharus had been sitting. He was wounded, his cheek bruised and his left ear torn. They touched hooves, looking into each other’s blue eyes. “We will prevail. We will save Sapphire,” determination swelling in Arcturus’ voice. Sirius nodded, and shook his alter’s hoof. To the waitresses and the other customers, Sirius was just waving his hoof in the air and talking to himself. To them, Sirius was just crazy and there was truly nopony sitting across from him.