//------------------------------//
// Celly's Day Off 
// Story: Celly's Day Off 
// by ocalhoun 
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The Mayor of Appleloosa had precisely seventeen freckles on her face.

Princess Celestia jumped from her throne, smacked the heavy stack of papers from the plump mare's hooves, and screamed her frustrations to the world... inwardly, of course. Outwardly she continued to smile slightly and occasionally nod.

The brown mare flipped another page around to the back of her stack. She had been rambling about the same Buffalo territorial dispute for ages now, without coming to any point in the matter, but she did appear to have very detailed notes.

I should send this stack of papers to Twilight Sparkle, Celestia thought for a moment. No, she's a princess herself, now. I can't foist my problems onto her anymore. She winced... inwardly, of course. Not to mention what that huge stack would do to poor little Spike. Maybe it's time to take on another student...

Yet another page cycled to the back of the stack. If only they didn't return to the back every time, it would be a convenient way to tell how much longer this insufferable audience would take. This way, though, that Mayor might very well be starting back from page one every time it came up.

With practiced ease, Celestia transformed a cacophonous yawn into a demure heavy breath. A few moments could be spent contemplating whether that one speck on the Mayor's left cheek next to her lips counted as a freckle or a mole... but that entertainment was short-lived, giving way to fantasies about banishing the interminable pony to the moon. Celestia smiled a little more genuinely than she had over the past few hours.

It was oddly quiet. That Mayor's voice was a sound one could grow accustomed to, like a babbling brook outside the window, or perhaps the drone of distant cicadas. Now, though, something was missing.

It took five blinks before Celestia's eyes fully focused again. 

The brown mare was staring at her, not moving at all. Her stack of papers stood tall next to her, offering moral support, no doubt, while she patiently awaited the Princess's enlightened response.

Oh no. She's finished. Normally, that would be a good thing, a very good thing. The downside, though, was that she wanted a response... and Celestia hadn't caught much of the last two hour's worth of monolog. Looks like a job for the royal archivist. She nodded her head one last time. “I'm glad you've brought your concerns to me. Please drop your notes off at the archivist's office for further research and contemplation, and you'll get a decision in six to eight weeks.”

The Mayor smiled broadly.

Odd, that dismissal usually doesn't end in smiles. Her suggestions must have been preposterous indeed if she's so happy to receive even this much response.

“Thank you, your majesty.” The mare bowed and backed out of the throne room, a process taking several minutes.

How much time could I save out of every day by making the throne room smaller? It bore consideration. Regality and impressing the common folk were worthy goals, but by now, Celestia would happily sacrifice them in the name of just a few more minutes of precious free time.

When the Appleloosan Mayor finally slipped through the big golden doors, the Royal Herald didn't miss a single beat. “His Majesty, Prince Blueblood,” he announced, before returning to his usual stoic silence.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Celestia moaned and cried out to the Invisible Pink Unicorn... internally, of course. 

“Celestia!”

Celestia allowed herself a slight frown at the lack of royal courtesy.

Prince Blueblood stormed right up to the throne, stopping just out of reach. Did he guess enough of her internal desires to know that he should stay out of striking range? “How dare you? How dare you! It was bad enough when you went and made that peasant a princess. Now she gets her own castle? First you're making Shining Armor a prince – he's supposed to just be a soldier! Then you're giving him and Cadance a whole empire for themselves... and now... now... this?” He stomped a hoof down into the plush red carpet, leaving a permanent hoofprint. “I won't stand for it!”

“Prince Blue–”

“And now! Now Twilight Sparkle gets her own castle? What is she, ruler of Ponyville now? Where's my castle? Where's my empire? You promised me, Celestia!”

I promised? Celestia glanced down to the side, at one of her royal guards. I should really be more careful what I say, even when – especially when – I'm trying to get rid of Blueblood.

Blueblood stood there, staring at her as if he could light her on fire with the sheer force of his faux outrage.

“All in good time, Prince Blueblood,” she said softly. “Patience is a virtue well becoming one so Princely.” Flattery usually worked wonders on him.

“That's easy to say for Miss Immortal Sunbutt–”

Celestia's frown deepened. Several of her guards began looking more dour than usual.

“–but some of us have a time limit here! What do I have to do to get recognized around here? I've told you a thousand times, it's time to make my title more than just words!”

What could possibly delay him now? Celestia paused for a moment, contemplating it. “Prince Blueblood?”

The intensity of his stare didn't falter, but his eyes did open a little wider. “Yes?”

“I would prefer to hold off any drastic changes until after you find yourself a suitable wife.”

He backed down a little, blinking.

That will do it. It would be a good, long time before that royal oaf managed to woo a mare he considered worthy of being at his side, if indeed any mare was good enough for him. Even if that happened, perhaps the intrepid mare would have a good influence on him. At any rate, if he ever managed it, she could still resort to 'plan B' – making him the prince of a remote border station. Maybe a border station on the moon?

Blueblood was still blinking. He continued for several more seconds, long enough to make Celestia wonder if he'd gotten stuck that way. Finally, he stopped, sputtering, “M-m-married?”

Celestia smiled and nodded. “Yes, married.”

Blueblood's mouth opened and closed several times, but nothing came out. He sat back on his haunches, something nopony else would dare do in the middle of a royal audience. His eyes darted back and forth as if watching a hoofraquet game only he could see. Finally, he nodded. “Very well. I will return soon. Please inform the royal staff they have a wedding to prepare for.”

“I will,” Celestia lied. She was well aware that Blueblood didn't have a single serious romantic prospect at the moment.

He stormed out of the throne room, head held high.

Celestia sighed. It had seemed such a good idea at the time, adopting Blueblood into the royal family. It had cemented relations with the Duke of Manehattan so well that Manehattan was now considered part of Equestria proper, not just a commonwealth... Is having Manehattan worth having Blueblood, too, though? At least the prince hadn't discovered the secret of immorality... yet. The inconvenience would be only temporary.

“Her excellence, the honorable Judge Peri–”

“Excuse me,” Celestia whispered.

The Herald's voice stopped instantly, and the black-robed pony in the doorway froze.

“I'm terribly sorry, but we may need to cut things short here. I have other duties I must attend to.” Unseen in the sky above, Celestia's magic lowered the sun just a little more. It would only be a couple more hours until dusk.

The Herald gave a knowing nod. The way the royal guards gossiped in the barracks, he probably knew all too well what that really meant. He stepped in front of the doors. “Solar audience hours will resume three hours after sunrise tomorrow. The crown apologizes for your inconvenience. If your business can be accomplished with either Princess, you are encouraged to return for the Lunar audience hours, which will commence three hours after moonrise.”

The two guards next to the doors used their magic to swing them shut with a resounding clang.

Tension melted from Celestia's shoulders. Finally, she could relax enough to–

The side door leading to the barracks burst open, and a guard came hurtling through. His white coat was singed black, and he wavered, barely standing. “Dragons!” was all he managed to say before collapsing onto the floor.

Celestia jumped up off her throne and rushed through an inconspicuous door on the other side of the  throne room. This one led to a small private balcony right on the edge of the castle.

Outside, above Canterlot, seven huge dragons circled, blowing flames at the occasional pegasus guard who ventured too close. As she watched, a couple of the smaller ones, one grey and one purple, dove down into the city, kicking up plumes of shattered stone when they landed.

Her eyes narrowed. Officially, Equestria had a long-standing peace treaty with the dragon empire. Unofficially, skirmishes like this could be expected every few hundred years as some group or other of the dragons broke away from the empire and – against the emperor’s orders – decided to make an attempt at the rich, 'unguarded' treasures of Equestria.

Celestia allowed herself a little smirk. Raids like this were usually a few hundred years apart because that was about how long it took the dragons to forget about something. Her.

She galloped two paces to the edge of the balcony and leapt, her wings folded tightly to her sides.

Wind rushed past her as she plummeted. She sliced through the air, the towering cliff of Canterlot Castle rising away behind her.

She opened her wings – they snapped into place from the blast of air all around her. Swooping low, she zoomed just above Comet Boulevard, skimming just over the heads of the panicked ponies who rushed back and forth across the wide street.

A sweeping right turn through the central plaza left her racing down a side avenue. Her wingtips nearly brushed the walls on either side, and bits of leaves and paper flew up in her wake. Straight ahead, though, a wall of purple flame blocked the way.

It's the right path, then.

She cut through the inferno unscathed. Its fury was nothing compared to the sun.

The purple dragon never saw it coming. Celestia shot out of the flames right into his chest, traveling at full speed.

He doubled over, cringing down to the ground and coughing up gouts of smoke. His head lifted back up just in time for Celestia's leaping uppercut to catch his jaw.

Celestia dropped back to the ground to catch her breath as the behemoth toppled over backward, crushing a few highbrow Canterlot boutiques.

He rose again, blinking and shaking his head. He looked all around before finally seeing the shining white alicorn in front of him.

She stared him down, standing calm and relaxed, but seething with power.

The dragon lumbered a few paces across the demolished square, his eyes wide, before taking wing. He slowly gained altitude, heading straight back toward dragon territory.

One down. Celestia smirked. These dragons think they're tough, but they have no idea what real power–

The world around her went black. She was lifted up, crashing against something hot and soft.

Celestia had been fighting dragons since before they evolved wings. She knew what to do when one tried to swallow her.

She struck out with her horn, lodging it in the back of the dragon's throat. A convulsion in the scalding-hot flesh around her confirmed she had succeeded. He was gagging.

A reflexive cough shot her back into the hard, smooth inner surface of the dragon's teeth. They opened a little, letting air flow through, but they were too tightly fitted together to allow her to leave.

Dragons do like their food cooked... Celestia knew what was coming next, and she knew what to do about that, too. She called up hefty wave of magical force and prepared a strong force field at the back of the dragon's mouth.

The wall of white flame stopped at her barrier. It stretched and strained, but it stayed right where it was even as the flames grew unbearably bright.

Celestia smiled. Come on, give me the hottest you've got. When the flames reached their most intense, she shoved her barrier back.

She flung out of his mouth as it opened; he thrashed his neck all over the place.

Just a little more, and...

Intense white flames shot out of the grey dragon's ears, and he collapsed down into the ruined square, every orifice of his body smoking.

Good. He would be out for a few hours at least. Now, about those other dragons. She looked up. Only one was still circling above, which meant the other four must have already landed.

As she watched, the last one – one of the biggest she'd ever seen, a great hulking orange brute – tucked in his wings and angled toward her.

She lifted off, soaring up to meet him in the air. This one will never make it to the ground, she promised. Sadly, collateral damage was unavoidable whenever a sizable dragon raid came to a major city, but at least she had caught this one early.

The distance between the dragon and her closed breathtakingly fast.

She jutted her front hooves out, ready for him. Her magic was forged in the heart of the sun; it wouldn't damage her to hit him head-on... but it would still hurt.

The impact was nothing but a giant white flash.

For a few moments, she fell, wings outspread and limp. Soon, though, she recovered and hovered above Canterlot, looking up.

Her opponent spiraled off toward the horizon, his neck hanging loose.

Two down, one unconscious, four to go. She looked back down at the city. Three of the dragons were airborne, on their way to her: one big one the color of burnt clay and two vicious-looking little blue ones... relatively little. They were both still the size of a house.

Taking a deep breath, she folded her wings and aimed for a point between the blue ones. If she was lucky, she could get them to collide and fight each other while she took care of the bigger one. Almost without thinking about it, she guided the sun a tiny nudge lower in the sky.

She shook her head. Here it goes. Again.


* * *


She kept her teeth clenched tight on the tip of the vile dragon's tail as she spun around again and again. 

The green-mottled dragon flailed around, screamed awful reptilian screams, and spewed out plumes of brown fire, but it did no good. The momentum of his swing increased more and more.

Finally, Celestia released him, sending him flying off toward dragon territory. She had entertained a momentary thought of flinging him into the Changeling Wastelands, but alas, she was too merciful for that.

Finally, she stood alone, at the very peak of the highest mountain above Canterlot, all the invading dragons gone from her city and her nation. She spat onto the rocks below her. Why did that one have to be so slimy? 

Finally, she had a moment to relax. Her plans of taking the afternoon off and enjoying the sunshine, though... those were ruined. She let the sun dip a little lower, and it began its daily flirtation with the horizon. She breathed a heavy sigh.

“Did I miss anything?”

By the Invisible Pink Goddess, that alicorn could be sneaky sometimes! Celestia whirled around to face her sister. “Did you miss anything! Did you–” As soon as she caught a glimpse of her sister's poorly-concealed smile, Celestia stopped. “Oh, you. Come here, Lulu.”

The two sisters embraced, alone on the windy mountain peak.

As they separated, Luna scrunched up her nose. “You do smell most potently of dragon breath, though.”

Celestia glared at her little sister out of the corner of her eye. “You would, too, if you had been fighting and getting eaten by dragons all evening instead of sleeping in your comfy darkroom.”

“I do my share too!” Luna held her head high and lifted a hoof to her chest. “Did I not mention the invasion of the frost giants just last winter?”

Celestia giggled slightly.

Luna glared at her. “I still cannot abide the smell of ice sculptures.” She shivered a little.

Shaking her head, Celestia laid a hoof on her sister's shoulder. “I keep telling you, ice doesn't have a smell.”

“Tell me that after fighting off an army of frost giants.” Luna rolled her eyes, then looked out to the western horizon. “It is almost time. Shall we?”

Celestia sighed just a little, pining after her lost afternoon in the sunshine. “Very well.”

Both sisters took flight, side by side. Their horns glowed, and some of the most powerful magic in the world swirled around them. The sun slowly dipped below the horizon, and a full moon replaced it.

As Celestia set down on the hard mountain peak again, she smiled at her sister. “Thank you.”

Luna blinked at her. “Thank me? For what?”

Grinning much too widely, Celestia took off and glided back toward Canterlot Castle. Smoke still rose from the city. “Cleaning up the mess.” She laughed, diving down before her sister's playful burst of magic could hit her.


* * *


Celestia rolled over in bed, dragging the opulent blankets with her.

She should have been tired. It should have been easy to fall asleep. Her battle against the dragons should have left her exhausted.

But whenever she stopped, whenever she tried to relax, a tightness pulled at her joints. There was some demonic buzzing in the back of her mind. The dark, stone room closed in on her. Every breath had to be forced.

She growled, rolling over again.

How long has it been? She distinctly remembered trying to take a few hours off last spring. It was a wedding day, after all. She only needed to perform a short ceremony, then she would have had all afternoon off before needing to make a brief appearance at the reception. Only... that time had instead been spent inside a changeling cocoon. 

She grimaced.

The time before that? Almost beyond recent memory. I was going to spend a relaxing day with Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville... but then... ugh. Parasprites in Fillydelphia, it had been that time. Not that it looked likely to be much of a vacation there either, after all. Even without Ponyville's own parasprite invasion, Twilight had set out to make an occasion of the royal visit.

Celestia pounded her face into her overstuffed down pillow. She hated 'occasions'. Was it too much to ask to have a simple day off? It was almost enough to make her envy Luna's thousand years on the moon. Almost.

Wisps of old memories came floating back to her. Very old memories. She'd long ago learned the sanity-saving trick of burying all but the most recent memories in the back of her mind, but still, sometimes they floated up, unbidden.

She remembered the night Luna had refused to lower the moon. 'The longest night' and 'the night that will never be forgotten', ponies had called it then, though few remembered it now. 

What do I have to do to get a day off around here? I can't even remember the last time I actually enjoyed myself.

The two thoughts circled each other in her mind for a few moments... before they inevitably met.

Could I... actually do that? She sat up in bed, looking at the door. No... no I couldn't, not after seventy thousand years of a perfect record. Only... it's not perfect, is it? That night a thousand years ago had already broken her streak of perfectly timed sunrises and sunsets.

But still... I couldn't... but... A thousand year streak wasn't all that much to break, after all. But still.

She flopped back down into bed. Of course she wouldn’t. She was the stoic, reserved, perfect ruler of Equestria. Her dedication was unquestionable. Her self control was indefatigable. Her poise was unbreakable. The luxurious bedsheets around her rubbed her fur the wrong way every time she made the slightest movement. No matter which way she laid, one of her wings seemed pinned at an uncomfortable angle.

Screw it.

She rose from her bed, letting the expensive sheets fall off of her, and she walked to the back door of her suite, her gait steadily getting faster and more confident as she went out onto the balcony.

For the second time today, she leapt down.

This time, though, she didn't plummet straight to the city. She angled out, letting the height of her fall translate into a long, easy glide. Canterlot slid by below, the crowded streets a criss-crossing network of glowing threads. She passed over the cliffside of Canterlot Mountain, and the city fell away behind her. She sailed on for leagues and leagues, never once flapping her wings.

Finally, she drifted to the ground. She hit it running, absorbing the momentum of her glide.

When she stopped, everything around her faded into quiet stillness only broken by the grass rippling in the soft night breeze. After a few moments, the crickets around her resumed their chirping.

It was a beautiful prairie, a long expanse of grassy rolling hills as far as the eye could see. Hoofington was probably only a few leagues away to the north, she was sure.

She took one deep breath of the cool night air, but that wasn't what she came for.

She would have heard it or sensed it if anypony was around, but she looked back and forth anyway. It had been a very long time since she had done anything so... naughty.

Okay, time to go. She smiled.

Without her lifting into the air, without fanfare, her horn glowed. Soon, so did the sky. The day's second sunrise came at nearly midnight. The sun burst up above the horizon and quickly sailed up overhead in mere minutes.

She basked in its warmth. Her cutie mark wasn't a sunburst just because she could control it, after all. It was her passion. She loved that big old ball of fire.

The chirping of the crickets fell out of rhythm, haltingly, as if they were confused. As she looked around her, a couple bird calls rang out, hesitant at first, but then growing in volume.

She sighed and smiled. She could do whatever she wanted – for a while – and nopony would stop her.

Decadently, she tossed herself down into the soft grass. She stretched her legs out, luxuriating in the feels and smells of the freshly warmed grass. It felt like a bright summer morning, not an autumn midnight.

Here, nopony was watching. Here, she could let herself be a pony instead of a perfect princess. She rolled on her back, wiggling back and forth, letting the blades of grass scratch that hard to reach place between her wings.

When she flopped back onto her side, she spotted a little patch of clover. Its leaves were still re-opening for the unexpected dawn. After a heartfelt grin, she reached in and chomped a few.

The royal kitchens could have prepared anything for her. They could bring her the most exotic delicacies from around the world, or the most fine-tuned cakes ever made by pony kind, or the most succulent fruit of any season – as fresh as time-spell wizardy could provide. She took another hearty bite of the fresh green clover. Somehow, those couldn't match the deep-seated enjoyment of fresh sweet clover, right from the ground.

She stretched out again, spreading her wings and catching as much of the sunshine as possible. It was glorious. She could lay like this forever. She opened her eyes and stared up, directly into the sun, something only she of all ponies could enjoy.

Something blocked her view of the sun, placing itself in between and casting a shadow over her.

What is that, an eclipse? There wasn't supposed to be one today, but then again, the sun wasn't supposed to rise for a second time, either. Did I accidentally put it behind the moon? She stood up, blinking, and the sun came back.

But Luna stood right in front of her, scowling.

By the Invisible Pink Goddess, that alicorn could be sneaky sometimes! “Hello, Lulu.” Celestia gave the widest, most insincere grin her face had seen in centuries.

Luna's frown deepened. Her eyebrows slid a little further down, and she kept staring right into Celestia's eyes.

How does she find me so easily? Does she have some kind of homing spell? “Ah... 'Put it back where it belongs right now and never do this again,' I presume?”

Luna gave a curt nod.

Sighing and enjoying every last moment of sunshine she could get, Celestia called her magic up once more. The sun sank back down to the horizon as quickly as it had risen.

As the sun left the sky, Luna's frown eased away... mostly. A little hint of it stayed behind, as if in memorial of Celestia's unseemly conduct.

“Home, Sister. Now.” Luna took flight, not even questioning that her sister would follow.

Celestia did follow, of course, but if Luna expected chagrin, she would be disappointed. I regret nothing. Celestia laughed... inwardly, of course. It might have been the shortest day in history, but she'd finally had a day off.


The End