//------------------------------// // Metal Hoof Solid // Story: Too Many Twilights // by Octavia_Melody //------------------------------// Flim, Flam, Evil Twilight, and Spike soon took their show on the road. Ponyville was quickly subdued, so they moved on to neighboring towns. Pinkie, Twilight, and Crazy Twilight were having their own troubles dealing with the large wave of customers ransacking the store for more blue cupcakes. The three ponies were actually cowering with their heads covered behind the front counter. Crazy Twilight in particular was freaking out. “We’re all gonna die! We’re all gonna die! We’re all gonna die!” she ranted, “Somepony kill me now!” “Snap out of it!” the real Twilight ordered, taking a note from Spike and slapping her across the face, “I can’t believe I was ever this unhinged.” “Yeparooney, you’re a looney.” Pinkie said with a giggle. “If we don’t get more blue cupcakes, we’ll burn down the store!” random townspony #8 threatened. “That’s what she said!” random townspony #7 added, “Wait...that’s not how that goes...” Before any of the ponies still sober had time to argue, a flaming hay bale came crashing through the display window, along with a large glass jug of appleshine. The jug shattered, spilling the flammable liquid everywhere. Most of the store was awash in flames. “They actually did it!” the real Twilight said, “We’re all gonna burn to death!” “I guess this means we’re gonna get...heartburn!” Pinkie commented before putting on a pair of sunglasses. “YEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!” sung another disembodied voice. “Why don’t you just get the hay out of there?” yet another Twilight-sounding voice suggested. “Who said that?” the real Twilight asked. “I did.” said EG Twilight, stepping out from behind the kitchen door, “You all can run out the back.” “Now why didn’t I think of that?” Pinkie wondered, “Oh yeah, I was too busy being...punny!” “YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!” the disembodied voice repeated. The three ponies quickly followed the bootleg Monster High doll out through the rear door. They galloped as far away from the fire as they could before they ran out of breath. “You...look...familiar...” the real Twilight said between breaths, “Have I...seen you...somewhere...before?” “I...don’t...know.” EG Twilight replied, “Was it....contrived...irrelevant...and retconned...?” “That...seems like it...” the real Twilight said, “So you’re...another clone?” “Yeah...” EG Twilight explained, “I think...the pool...keeps making more...” “Why is...everypony...talking...like this?” Pinkie asked. “Because some of us...actually...need to breathe...” the real Twilight said. “Okey...dokey...artichokey!” Pinkie replied, “Hmm...Some artichokes sound pretty good right now.” ******** Back at the mirror pool, the mirror pool decided to keep cranking out the Twilights. The first of the new batch was a stern and serious looking unicorn with a spiky mane, white bandana, and black patch covering her left eye. She also wore a black jumpsuit. “I know this place.” she announced, “I’ve seen it before. I’m in Everfree Forest.” The clone retrieved a cigarette and match from underneath her jumpsuit. She struck the match against a rock, lit the cigarette, and took a long draw. “They call me Solid Sparkle.” she said as she blew a smoke ring, “My mission is simple. Kill Empress Celestia.” “Excuse me, but who are you talking to?” said a nearly identical but less smoke damaged voice. “I’m doing my inner monologue.” Solid Sparkle replied, “I go on these long, meandering speeches about the meaning of life when all you want to is get back to the game. But you still can’t bring yourself to skip the cutscene because you’re afraid you’ll miss a vital part of the story.” “Oh, okay.” the voice replied, “That’s all I needed to know.” “Hold it!” Solid Sparkle shouted, turning around and accusingly pointing her hoof in the voice’s general direction. Directly behind her was the kind of clone Twilight might have had if she ate nothing but cupcakes (the regular kind, not meth cupcakes or ones made from pony meat). This Twilight was round, chubby, and couldn’t trot all that smoothly. Fat Twilight emerged from the pool as Solid Sparkle slowly drew her combat knife from the scabbard strapped to her side. “Don’t move!” Solid Sparkle warned, placing the blade right up to Fat Twilight’s throat. “Don’t hurt me, please!” Fat Twilight begged, “Do you have any spare cupcakes?” “What?” Solid Sparkle questioned. “Spare cupcakes?” Fat Twilight repeated, “All that materializing into existence made me hungry.” “I don’t have any cupcakes.” Solid Sparkle said, “Who are you? Did Celestia send you? Speak!” “I like turtles.” Fat Twilight said. “What does that mean?” Solid Sparkle demanded, “Is that some sort of code?” “No, you just told me to speak.” Fat Twilight replied, “I was just telling you that I like turtles.” Solid Sparkle groaned and placed her free hoof to her forehead. Convinced that Fat Twilight was not a threat, she returned her knife to the scabbard. “You know...” she commented, “You kind of look like me in my younger years, if I’d have really let myself go, that is.” “Shouldn’t we look for the real Twilight?” Fat Twilight suggested. “Real Twilight?” Solid Sparkle asked, “What are you talking about?” “We’re just clones from the mirror pool.” Fat Twilight explained, “We don’t belong in this Equestria. I just want to go back, after a few cupcakes of course, and maybe some donuts.” “Wait...” Solid Sparkle pondered, “You’re right...this doesn’t look like my Equestria...that’s it! I’ve been sent back to the past! I’ve got to warn everypony! Let’s go!” Solid Sparkle galloped out of the cavern in the direction of Ponyville. Fat Twilight slowly trotted behind, taking time to breath in the scenery. “Oh, this must be Everfree Forest.” she commented, “That means Ponyville is nearby. And where there’s a Ponyville, there’s a Sugar Cube Corner!” Solid Sparkle quickly made it to Twilight’s treehouse, where the real Twilight, EG Twilight, Crazy Twilight, and Pinkie Pie were hiding out. A large purple forcefield surrounded the house. Solid Sparkle walked through, unfazed. "Basic unicorn forcefield magic." she commented, "You've got to do better than that." Solid Sparkle stealthily crept up to the front door and found it locked. She took out her knife and used the blade to pick the keyhole. “Somepony’s coming through!” Crazy Twilight shouted from inside, “We’re all gonna die!” “We don’t have any cupcakes!” the real Twilight called out, “Try the next house!” Solid Sparkle kicked the door open and the real Twilight groaned in irritation at the sight of another clone. “This clone has a knife!” Crazy Twilight yelped, “Everypony’s gonna die!” “Listen to me!” Solid Sparkle ordered, putting her knife back in place, “Everypony and everybody else are indeed going to die unless we act now!” “Did you just say...everybody?” the real Twilight asked in astonishment. Solid Sparkle slammed the door behind her and knelt down next to the other Twilights. “By everybody, I mean not only all of Equestria, but beings of other dimensions as well.” she stated. “What in Celestia’s name are you talking about?” the real Twilight insisted. “Celestia...” Solid Sparkle muttered in contempt, “Empress Celestia...” “Empress Celestia?” the real Twilight questioned. “About eight years from now, a large meteor will strike the planet, causing a global catastrophe.” Solid Sparkle explained, “Most of Equestria’s inhabitants will be killed. Celestia goes mad with grief and devises a plan to build a new Equestria. She tampers with magic hidden for thousands of years and opens portals to other dimensions. She then invents a process to forcibly convert other species into mindless pony servants. Some of the few ponies that manage to survive form a resistance, of which I am a member. Empress Celestia has set out to conquer all of existence, and will kill or convert anypony or anybody who gets in her way.” “The Celestia I know would never do something so horrible!” Twilight retorted, taking great offense, “I don’t think even Discord would do something like that!” “She isn’t the Celestia you know, not anymore.” Solid Sparkle corrected, lighting another cigarette, “Devastation has a way of bending the mind, including yours. Would the Celestia you know do this?” Solid Sparkle took a long draw and flipped up her eye patch. The other Twilights and Pinkie gasped at the empty socket where Sparkle’s left eye used to be. A rough patch of scar tissue had grown around the socket and a stretch of nerve muscle twitched uneasily where the eyeball used to connect. “What are you smoking?” Twilight complained, starting to cough, “Put that out!” “It’s just plain tobacco.” Solid Sparkle replied, flipping her eye patch back down, “A plant that you ponies have yet to take full advantage of.” “Ooh! Ooh! I have a question!” Pinkie spoke up, frantically raising her hoof in the air. “What is it?” Solid Sparkle asked. “Actually, it’s more of a statement.” Pinkie corrected, “That story you told sounds a lot like The Conversion Bureau. Well, really it sounds a lot like those anti-Conversion Bureau fanfics that get so popular and then there’s this big argument over whether humans should become ponies or not, and it gets into this long drawn-out debate and the admins have to start banning people and then the cycle repeats itself.” “What in Cadence’s name are you rambling about?!” Solid Sparkle huffed, “I told you that story because I need you to help me kill Celestia before it’s too late!” “Never!!” the real Twilight decried, “Not in a million years!!” “We don’t have a million years!” Solid Sparkle argued, “We have less than eight!” “I won’t let you hurt the princess!” the real Twilight asserted, “She’s like a mother to me!” “She was like a mother to me, too...” Solid Sparkle whispered, holding back tears.