"I'm getting tired of searching bookshelves for these supposed blueprints, doc," Dempsey complained as he emptied yet another shelf from a long line. Sure enough, no blueprints were found.
"Dempshey," Richtofen called the American, putting emphasis on the 'she' that was naturally pronounced by his German accent. "Let me ask you a simple question that even your puny little brain can understand. Do you want Nikolai back, or not?"
"Of course I want him back. We all want him back."
A Gersch portal opened around a corner just where they couldn't see, and out popped Takeo, who walked around into their field of vision.
"Not him," Richtofen pointed out. "And that's why I need YOUR help. You and your clumsy mistakes. Why couldn't I have gotten the Wunderwaffe?! Stupid box. That dreadful little girl continues to make my life difficult."
"Cry me a river, Richtofen."
The three walked past Double Tap Root Beer, forming a triangle that Richtofen led.
"And until we get him back, we shall not rest, because he's a necessary character, a good friend, and Samantha can not be stopped until we have our team back together again!" Richtofen was lying through his teeth. In reality, all he needed to complete his grand scheme was one of these imbeciles to survive until the end. But the odds of that happening would be better if he had all three with him. Not to mention that Nikolai could be a great fighter at best and zombie bait at worst. It was simple, the doctor had no actual concern for the Russian's safety, definitely not for Dempsey's safety. Richtofen did admit that he did kinda like Takeo, though, despite the fact that the samurai was being uncooperative in their efforts. He'd kill Takeo last, if his plans were successful. Maybe he could even-.
The doctor was snapped out of his inward scheming by Dempsey. "Doc! I found something! Looks like blueprints!"
"Why do you always interrupt me while I'm planning World Dominatio-. . . I mean, I'm on my way, Dempshey!"
Takeo sighed to himself as the doctor skipped away like a little girl. "I hate being the only sane man here."
. . .
"Why does Nikolai have to get a job?" The hungover Russian complained as Twilight and Pinkie led him out of Sugarcube Corner. "I thought Ponyland would be like vacation."
"Equestria," Twilight corrected. "And no, everyone works some kind of job here. Surely a human like you has some kind of talent. Until your friends find a way to retrieve
Nikolai chuckled. "Well, I could become an exterminator. I've killed thousands of Germans; living or undead. And sixth wife was champion female bear-fighter, she taught Nikolai a thing or two."
Twilight and Pinkie both cringed at Nikolai's violent backstory. "Equestria doesn't need any exterminators. If something infests Ponyville, Fluttershy or Pinkie can NONVIOLENTLY take care of it."
Pinkie thought back to the time when she single-handedly led a swarm of hungry parasprites out of Ponyville and smiled to herself.
"OK, then, exterminator is out. . . What about a carpenter? That was Nikolai's job before the war."
Twilight pondered this for a minute. "I guess the only person to ask would be Rusty Nails."
"Rusty Nails? Not exactly someone I'd want constructing my home."
"You'd be surprised, Nikolai. Rusty has been building everything from birdhouses to entire mansions all over Equestria for years. He's building some new houses in Ponyville, and I heard he's hiring. Why not give it a try?"
Nikolai groaned. "I guess it's better than nothing. Are you sure there isn't anything I could exterminate?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yes, Nikolai, positive."
The three ponies trotted down the street, with Nikolai receiving just as much attention from dumbfounded ponies as he had the previous day. With the fact that Nikolai was a foreign creature that was never known to exist by most ponies, it was hard not to. Even if that wasn't enough for you, he was being escorted by Princess Twilight Sparkle herself.
Finally, Nikolai had enough. "Stop with the staring, alright?" He chastised the gawking crowd. "You're all weirding Nikolai out."
Some ponies managed to turn back to their current affairs, but most could not resist scanning the drunk Russian's appearance. Even the shopkeepers in the marketplace had stopped hawking their various foods, giving Nikolai confused stares when he passed by their stalls.
Nikolai wished he had his MP40 right now.
Out of his vision, three fillies watched the human, but unlike most of the other ponies, they eyed him with genuine curiosity.
"What is he supposed to be?" The pegasus among the group asked. She had a purplish mane, an orangish coat, dull purple eyes, and small wings.
"Ah' don't know," the earth pony one replied. She had an olive coat, red hair with a bow in it, and gamboge eyes. "Maybe we should ask 'im."
The unicorn squinted her green eyes and stared directly at Nikolai, who was busy telling off another crowd of nosy ponies. The characteristics matched the description. Could this be him?
"What are you thinking about Sweetie Belle?"
Sweetie Belle snapped out of her thinking and turned back to the other ponies; Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
"I didn't tell tell you two what Rarity was doing last night, did I?"
The other two shook their heads. "What happened? 'Nother fight?"
Now it was Sweetie's turn to shake her head. "No. Not a fight. It was weird."
. . .
Sweetie Belle sat on the floor of the Carousel Boutique, silent and bored. As much as she loved her sister, Sweetie couldn't help but admit that Rarity had absolutely nothing for her to do. But the seamstress big sister had already told the filly not to leave the shop until she came back, so in she stayed. She sighed occasionally, but the room remained quiet otherwise.
The silence of the room finally ended when Rarity burst open through the front door. She looked slightly panicked, as if she had just remembered that she had a career-threatening dress due tomorrow that wasn't quite as perfect as she wanted.
Sweetie immediately lit up at the sight of her sister. "Rarity! You're back!"
Rarity shut the door behind her, not replying. Her panicked look had changed into one of determination and courage.
"Let's see here," the adult unicorn mumbled to herself, taking a ponnequin with her magic. "No, this simply will not do. I'll have to find a way to custom-fit his outfit."
"Rarity?" Sweetie asked.
Rarity turned to face her sister, her look of determination turning into a look of compassion and caring. "What is it, Sweetie Belle?"
"What are you doing?"
"Making an outfit for. . . A friend?" Rarity did not look convincing, because her thoughts were still stuck on one thing: The horrible pieces of cloth stitched together on Nikolai that he dared call a uniform.
"Are you OK, Rarity? You seem off. . ."
"Sweetie Belle? If somepony said you looked like a marshmallow, how would it make you feel?" Rarity asked, dodging the question.
The younger unicorn thought about it. "Well, I guess I'd take it as a compliment. Marshmallows are fluffy and nice."
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, Fluttershy found this creature today. He calls himself Nikolai, and claims to be from a place known as 'The Soviet Union'. Wherever that place is, they have absolutely horrendous taste! He needs something better."
"What did he request?"
"That's the thing, Sweetie Belle. He DECLINED a free service. Something to do with 'soiling his name'. He doesn't look like he even has a name to soil."
"Well, if he declined, why bother?"
Rarity's expression was dead serious. "I simply cannot allow such a crime against fashion go unpunished."
. . .
"So Rarity is making clothes for that thing called Nikolai?" Scootaloo asked.
"I think that's his name, not his species."
Apple Bloom's face lit up. "Girls? You thinkin' what A'hm thinkin'?"
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle caught on.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Species Namers!" They shouted in unison.
Meanwhile, Nikolai, Pinkie, and Twilight arrived at a barn outside if town.
"Is this where Applejack lives?" Nikolai asked.
Pinkie chuckled and bounced over to Nikolai. "Well, of course not, silly! She lives in a house!"
Nikolai rolled his eyes. "No, really?"
"Well, duh, most people in Ponyville live in houses," Pinkie smiled, completely oblivious to the sarcasm in Nikolai's question.
"This is part of Sweet Apple Acres, though," Twilight answered Nikolai's question. "The Apple family has had an increase in cattle, so they needed another barn built."
As the three continued to walk closer to the construction site, an older unicorn stallion popped out of the doorway. He had a lime green coat, a short jet black tail, equally jet black mane that came just below his ears, sky blue eyes, and sported a cutie marl featuring a hammer and nails. He was built taller and was more muscular than most ponies. Upon seeing Nikolai, he put on a confused expression.
"Hello, Pinkie."
"Hello Mr. Nails!"
"Oh, please, Pinkie, call me Rusty," he assured with a surprisingly friendly tone. "But who, or what, is this?" He gestured at Nikolai.
"Yeah, you don't exactly look normal to me, either," Nikolai shot back in a bored, but clearly hostile, tone.
"Woah, woah, take it easy, friend. I didn't mean nothin' bad. I just have never seen anything like you before, that's all."
Rusty turned his head and noticed Twilight. He bowed.
"Forgive me, princess, I did not notice you until now."
"You don't have to be so formal, Rusty, I'm still the same pony I was before."
"You're a princess!?" Nikolai asked in shock. "Why did you never tell Nikolai?!"
"It's not an important fact. At least not to me. I thought you would have caught on anyway, I'm the only unicorn who also has wings."
"I just thought you were some rare hybrid. Nikolai is fairly new to this, remember?"
"We're getting off topic. Anyway, Rusty, Nikolai here is looking for a job. Can you help him out?"
"Oh, yes! This barn is pretty big. I mean, I could do it by myself, but it would be a handful. But first, let me see what he can do."
"Oh, no problem, Nikolai is experienced."
"OK," the stallion nodded, handing Nikolai a hammer and nails. "Inside the barn are some stalls. Problem is, I haven't added the wood boards yet to separate 'em. I wanna see how good you are at setting them up."
Nikolai gave a confident smirk, and the two entered the barn.
"Nice to see him ready to work," Twilight smiled. "Maybe he's not so bad after all."
Pinkie kept a huge grin. "Silly Twilight, Nikolai was never bad, just goofy. . . With a teensy-weensy hint of killer thrown in."
"I just hope he-"
Twilight's sentence was cut off by a loud scream.
"HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!?" Cried out Rusty from the barn.
Twilight and Pinkie ran inside, only to see Nikolai casually standing next to the stall, doing nothing. Next to him, however, wooden boards flew up and filled in the spaces of the stall frames. Twilight quickly looked at Rusty's horn, but the carpenter was not casting any magic. Nikolai was doing this.
"Well, it's easy, I'm holding the X button."
Rusty just continued giving a confused look.
"Oh, you play PS3, OK, square button."
"Oh, good," Pinkie smiled. "I thought it was something serious!" She turned and walked out, humming a tune.
Twilight was shocked. The humans from her world didn't have magic, but apparently Nikolai did, at least when it came to wooden boards. Nikolai was making great time, and the stalls were ready in about ten minutes.
Rusty came over and examined the strength of the stalls, putting pressure on each one. Sure enough, they were all well-constructed and sturdy.
"Well, I don't know how you did it, Nikolai, but you performed faster and better than any pony who's ever worked under me," he put out his hoof. "You got the job, make sure to show up tomorrow at 7 AM sharp."
Nikolai tried to shake the hoof with his hand. "Da, OK. Thank you!" He managed a happy smile. However, he inwardly groaned about having to wake up early now. At least he could nap all he wanted in his old world by making a crawler.
The ponies pondered what to do now, as they walked out of Sweet Apple Acres and back into town.
"Where will Nikolai be staying? He doesn't exactly own a place here."
"There's space in the library, Nikolai. You can live with Spike and I."
"Spike? What breed of dog is he?"
"What?" Twilight cocked her head, before shaking it and allowing a small smile. "Oh, no, Spike is a baby dragon."
"What?" Nikolai's eyes widened. "A dragon!? Maybe this place is less girly than Nikolai thought."
Out of their sight, the three Cutie Mark Crusaders pondered what to name the species that Nikolai was, despite the fact that his species already had a name.
"How about. . . The Everfree Hairless Ape?" Sweetie Belle asked hopefully.
"No, too bland," Scootaloo shot down. "Let's see. . . Maybe the Kopad?"
"That doesn't even make sense," Sweetie countered.
"Oh yeah? Your name isn't even original."
The three crusaders descended into an argument into the bushes over what Nikolai's name should be. By the time they settled down to think about it more, Nikolai was out of sight.
"Rats!" They all exclaimed.
. . .
Richtofen entered the room Dempsey had called him into. "Find it, Dempshey?" He asked with an unnatural grin. His right hand rested on his grenade belt.
"Yeah, doc, even better, not only did I find the blueprints, but I found the device itself!" Dempsey proudly pulled a small scanning device, showing it to Richtofen.
"Wunderbar!" Richtofen cried, raising his right hand. . . And accidentally activating all of his grenades. "SHIZEN!"
"Quick!" Dempsey cried as he removed two of the live grenades from Richtofen's belt. "Get rid of them!" He tossed the two he had, followed by two thrown by Richtofen.
Unfortunately for them, they all landed right next to the crawler they had been keeping.
Things got really messy, really fast.
Takeo walked into the room, covered in the fresh blood of the crawler. Luckily, he did escape the blast radius, but he didn't escape everything. His eyes narrowed at Richtofen.
"Self-control is a virtue. Takeo is losing his," he threatened in a calm voice.
The sound of the next round's zombies were then heard as they began to rip down the boards near teleporter 2.
"Our efforts to save Nikolai will have to wait!" Richtofen shouted the obvious. "My little friends are coming!"
Dempsey, Takeo, and Richtofen all ran into teleporter 2, getting ready for the incoming horde.