Equestria is a Silly Place

by Bootsy Slickmane


The Pegasus Question

Cola spewed from her mouth and through the air as Rainbow Dash choked on her drink, soaking the table and Pinkie Pie's face. She leaned against the table, coughing out the soda for a good ten seconds before falling back with a hoof to her muzzle, the foamy beverage stinging her nose and throat. She groaned for a moment before incredulously asking, "What?"

"Do pegasi lay eggs?" Pinkie repeated, a smile still fixed on her soda-soaked face.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Noooo," Pinkie cooed, her smile fading as she leaned forward, bringing her face closer to Dash's. "I really wanna know."

Rainbow sighed, leaning back in her seat. "Pinkie Pie, who told you that pegasi lay eggs?"

"Nopony did," Pinkie replied. "I figured it out all by myself."

"Uh huh," Dash said, picking up her soda again. She put it back down after a moment of thought, though. "How did that happen?"

"Well, I was at the hospital to visit the Cake twins and I was thinking about how Pumpkin was a unicorn and Pound was a pegasus, but neither of the Cakes are unicorns or pegasi, and I was like, 'Huh, that's funny. Not funny like a joke, though, more like a potato shaped like a carrot, or a carrot shaped like an onion.' Then I started getting hungry and I went to the cafeteria, but they didn't have any onions there and I got all sad because onions are super healthy and hospitals should totally feed them to sick patients because it would make them feel better faster, and make them get stronger so they could go out and work harder.

"So then I got lunch and thought about how ponies breed. My parents taught me all about how Earth ponies breed"—Pinkie paused a moment to shudder in her seat—"but they never told me about how unicorns or pegasi make foals. I tried to ask Fluttershy if pegasi lay eggs, but she started stuttering and got a nosebleed. When I got back with a tissue, she had fallen asleep, so I decided to come and ask you instead." Pinkie drew in a long breath. "So, do they?"

"No, Pinkie," Rainbow sighed. "Pegasi don't lay eggs."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Pinkie, I'm sure."

"Are you really sure?"

"Trust me, Pinkie." Rainbow chuckled a little, bringing her drink up to her muzzle. "If pegasi could lay eggs, I'd know about it."

Pinkie stared at Rainbow as she drank her soda, her blue eyes steadily narrowing as her bubblegum brain worked tirelessly to comprehend what she'd just heard. The thought came to her slowly, having to push aside copious amounts of other thoughts before it reached the front of her mind, where it incited a sharp gasp that sent Pinkie right off her seat. She then bolted away, a pink streak blazing down the road.

Rainbow just shrugged.

* * * *

About an hour later, Rainbow pushed open her front door and flipped on the lights, only to have a mild heart attack upon seeing her living room full of ponies all shouting, "Surprise!"

"Wha-what are you all doing in my house?" she stammered.

"We're here for your foal shower," Applejack said.

"Yeah!" Pinkie chimed in, pronking across the floor to Rainbow's side. "I know we're probably pretty late, but it's never too late for a party."

"Uh, what?" Dash said after a moment.

"It's okay, Dashie," Pinkie said, clutching her friend's cerulean cheeks (the ones on her face) in her hooves, "you don't have to hide anymore."

"We're your friends, Rainbow, you know you can tell us anything," Rarity added. "Won't you let us be a part of this?"

Dash pulled away from Pinkie. "First, how about you let me be a part of this and tell me what the hay is going on."

"It's alright," Rarity said, "we know that you had a foal."

Applejack stepped over, putting a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. "You don't have to be ashamed. I mean, heck, the same thing happened to—"

"I know it must have been hard for you to give it away," Rarity cut in, "but we all understand that you just weren't ready for that sort of responsibility."

"Just tell us that you made sure she went to a good home," Fluttershy pleaded.

Rainbow shook her head. "What are you talking about?"

Pinkie reached a hoof across Dash's withers. "Dashie, when you told me that you knew for sure that pegasi couldn't lay eggs, I knew that the only way you would know was if you had had first-hoof experience."

"Pinkie, that leap in logic could get you across Galloping Gorge," Twilight chided. She stepped forward, pushing Pinkie Pie aside. "I already told you that I'm 99% sure that Rainbow Dash has never been pregnant. According to my books and what I've seen, there's no way that—" She stopped suddenly, however, at the sound of a little squeak coming from behind a pair of blue hooves that were covering Rainbow's face. All eyes turned to the pegasus as she quietly wept behind her forelegs.

"No way," Twilight whispered. "Did you really?"

"It was four years ago, right after I'd dropped out of flight school. There was this colt I'd had my eye on, but we weren't allowed to fraternize in the academy. Since I was out, I figured, 'what the hay,' right? So I invited him over to my house one night while my dad was off working, and, well, we—"

Rainbow made a choking noise from behind her hooves, then fell backwards onto the floor, laughing her tail off. "I'm sorry, I couldn't," but the rest of her words were lost to her laughter. The other ponies all exchanged confused looks as Rainbow made her way back onto her hooves, her giggles winding down. "Sorry, heh. I just couldn't resist."

Dash sighed, turning to Pinkie. "Yeah, so, no, I've never had foals, Pinkie. I know because they had a class about it in school. I grew up in Cloudsdale, and if they don't know how pegasi breed, nopony does."

"Oh," Pinkie said flatly. "Can we have a party anyway? I already brought all the supplies."

Rainbow shrugged. "Sure, I don't have any plans tonight."

"Yay!" Pinkie pulled her cannon from seemingly nowhere and plastered the walls with streamers. "Happy Pinkie-Asked-Rainbow-If-Pegasi-Laid-Eggs-and-Pinkie-Totally-Misunderstood-Rainbow-and-Tried-to-Throw-a-Foal-Shower-But-Rainbow-Didn't-Actually-Ever-Have-Foals-and-So-the-Party-Had-to-Be-Renamed Party!"

Pinkie suddenly stopped, her eyes wide. "Wait a minute!" She turned to Twilight. "What about unicorns?"