Not Suitable for Celestia

by Underdogg


Chapter Two: The Great Escape

"Okay Spike, I've packed us enough food that we can keep heading west for the next day or two."

Twilight levitated the satchel bag containing various bits and pieces and lowered it onto her back. Meanwhile, Spike was happily munching away at his stash of rare emeralds and rubies that he had previously planned on saving for the lengthy journey ahead.

"Yeah, *crunch* *mnchmnch* okay Twilight. Say... where are we going first? Isn't the only thing west of Ponyville just the Everfree Forest?" Spike scratched his head, quizzing his own geographical knowledge of Equestria.

"Yes it is, Spike." Twilight replied. "However, once we make our way through the forest, there is a small town on the other side, known as 'Shetland'."

Spike shook his head slowly as he swallowed a mouthful of amethyst. "Never heard of it. What's it like?" Twilight looked back at him and nudged her head, signaling for him to jump up onto her back. "Well, believe it or not, I've never been there either. Rainbow Dash said she flew over it one time, but she was so high up she could barely see any of the town."

Spike settled down into his seat, or rather, Twilight's spine. Twilight let out a majestic "oof!" as he sat down. "Urgh, what did you eat for breakfast, cement?" She mockingly said. Spike looked down at his belly and sighed slightly. "Yeah, maybe it is time to cut down on the ice-cream..."

Twilight meagerly pushed the front door open with her fore-hoof. The evening breeze rolled in, sending chills through both of them. The Sun was just going down, and Celestia would soon be able to experience the horror of Twilight's smutty story.

Spike craned his neck to peer out into no-colt's land. "Shouldn't we wait until night-time to go outside? I mean, there are still some ponies wandering around." Without a moment's hesitation, Twilight shushed him. She stuck her head through the door opening, and swung it left to right, looking for the perfect time to make a dash for it.

"Nope... no... it's too crowded... but we don't have much time at all until Celestia reads that letter and the whole of Canterlot and Ponyville find out." Twilight nearly broke down at the mere conception of such tragedy.

Spike desperately searched for an alternative. "Well, uh, do you know any invisibility spells we could do?" At this sparkling new revelation, Twilight's face immediately brightened up. "Spike you're a genius!" She exclaimed, as her horn glowed with the charge of a magical spell.

In a sudden flash of crimson-silver, she cast an invisibility spell surrounding them both. However, when Spike opened his eyes and looked down to himself, what he saw made him cringe in disappointment.

"Uhh, Twilight?

But it was too late. An invisible mass of unicorn had already taken off, barrelling down the streets of Ponyville, with a screaming young dragon bouncing around on her back.

"Ahh!! *oof* Twilight- ow WAIT! The spell! *ugh* *oof* IT DIDN'T WORK ON ME!"

The citizens of Ponyville and peaceful evening shoppers, were rendered speechless as they saw a small purple dragon scream past them about a meter above the ground, shouting incomprehensibly and flailing his limbs.

"Woo! Go Spike!" Pinkie Pie shouted out the window of Sugarcube corner. "I can't believe my Spikey-Wikey already has his wings!" Rarity began to sniffle softly.

After about 5 minutes of whizzing down various streets of Ponyville, Twilight eventually ducked into a nearby back-alley to stop for a moment.

As she came to a grinding halt, Spike's grip from Twilight failed, and he flew forwards, rolling off of the top of her head. He sailed through the air, yelling at the top of his little lungs, all the way until he crashed painfully into an array of dustbins. Twilight cringed as the sharp sound of metal crashing to the ground pierced her eardrums.

"Ooog... My head..." Spike grabbed his forehead and regained his senses. Twilight ran over to where he landed. "Oh my gosh, Spike! Are you alright?"

Spike lifted himself onto his feet, and blinked a few times. The double image of Twilight's concerned face danced around his vision for a while, eventually coming together into a single pony.

"Twilight! Didn't you hear me?! The invisibility spell you summoned didn't affect me! All of Ponyville just saw me, zooming across town in mid-air!"

Twilight's mouth hung open in disbelief. "I... I don't understand... the spell is supposed to affect any living creature within a meter of the casting horn!" She shook her head quickly, turning her attention back to Spike, who was rubbing a sore lump on his head.

"I'm sorry Spike, really. Let me fix that." She raised her horn and focused a bolt of magic. She shut her eyes tightly, sending several beams of light towards Spike's head-lump. The light swirled around Spike's head for a few seconds, before dissipating into the air.

Twilight examined his head again, and reeled back shocked.
"What?" Spike asked.
"My healing spell didn't work on you either!"

She frowned, searching her head of knowledge for any explanation for what was happening. Then, a thought crossed her mind.

"Wait a 'sec... you know those gems you were eating earlier? Which ones did you eat?"
"Uhhh... I think some rubies, uhh.. some emeralds, and some amethyst." Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.
"I should have known when I saw you eating those... Amethyst is a natural resistant to spells which affects physical appearance."

"Well, that would do it." Spike chuckled. "So wait, am I immune to any kind of magic that affects what I look like?" Spike said as he suddenly felt endangered.
"Exactly." Twilight responded, evidently proud of her deduction skills. "But there's not much time left before someone tries to find me. Spike, you go ahead and follow behind you."


* * * * *

Twilight followed close behind Spike, who took the shortest route to the edge of town, avoiding any ponies he saw. He occasionally heard ponies talking about a "hilarious flying baby dragon", while he has ducked behind a wall as they walked past. He put his scaly hands to his face, wishing that everypony would forget soon enough.

As they both approached Fluttershy's house, they relished in the success they were about to feel. That is, until Twilight's invisibility spell wore off.

"Twilight! Wait! Stop!" Spike exclaimed.
"What?! What is it?"
"I can see you, Twilight! The spell has worn off!"

The two stared at each other for a brief moment, and without any prompting, they both started sprinting towards the entrance to the Everfree forest as fast as they possibly could.

The entrance was tantalizingly close now; Spike and Twilight's eyes glistened with hope for escape from Ponyville. Although, they may have spoke too soon.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE YOU TWO!"

Twilight could have screamed if it wasn't for being so terrified. She knew that voice from a mile away. It was none other than the cocky call of her dearest friend, Rainbow Dash.

"Where are you two headed off to in such a hurry?" She questioned, as she touched down on the dirt in front of them. She analyzed the two shaking souls in front of her. They were sweaty, distraught, tired, and injured - this only piqued Dash's curiosity even further.

"Well? Are you gonna answer or just stand there?" She pushed. Spike cleared his throat and gave Twilight a look which read 'I'll handle this'"

"We were just off into the Everfree Forest for some research on a new magic potion. It's supposed to make the drinker feel like he's weightless!"

Spike gulped as Rainbow Dash stood there, in front of them. Her piercing gaze nearly shot right through Spike, but he stood his ground, not breaking eye contact with the pegasus standing opposite him. Rainbow Dash squinted even more... and more... trying her hardest to squeeze Spike's mind until the truth popped out. But to no avail.

"Ok..." She said, as she started to beat her wings. She took off from the ground, and before zooming away, she looked down to Twilight, who was shaking uncontrollably. "Have fun, you guys..."

When he was certain that there was no sign of any rainbow pegasus anywhere, Spike exhaled deeply, wiping a droplet of sweat from his forehead. "Damn, that was a narrow escape, huh Twilight?" Spike looked back, and saw Twilight, who looked like she had just dodged a bullet by an inch.

"Yeah... yeah... good work Spike." Twilight dreamily replied. Spike smiled and walked back to where Twilight was standing.
"C'mon Twilight, let's go through to Shetland now."

As Celestia's Sun lowered, the two marched through into the Everfree Forest, with nothing on their mind other than the next step in the journey.



* * * *


"Hey Fluttershy?"

"Yes?"

"Did you just see Twilight and Spike running down towards the Everfree Forest?"

Fluttershy emptied the canned food into a bowl and nudged it towards her pet badgers. "No, I didn't. Why do you ask?"

"I dunno... I saw them pegging it down to the entrance of the forest, and when I asked them what they were up to they started acting real suspicious and they looked physically drained, well, not in any condition for gardening that's for sure... Spike said something about a potion which makes you weightless."

Rainbow Dash slumped down on Fluttershy's bed and pondered, massaging her head.

"Well, what's wrong with that?" Fluttershy asked, as she flew slowly around her house, attending to various different chores.

Rainbow Dash stared at the ceiling, running through the events in her mind.
"Twilight was just telling me the other day that she wanted a potion making kit from the Princess. How is she gonna make a weightless potion without a potion kit, huh? Tell me that!"

At this point, Rainbow Dash realized she was talking to herself now, since Fluttershy had flown outside to feed her birds. Rainbow Dash growled. "I'm gonna find out what those two are up to!"


End of Part Two