Chaos Incorporated

by DontTreadOnMe777777


Ricky Welfork, Arrested. Charges: 2 Cases of Assault

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A metal bullet, imbued with the power of a miniature explosion, flew through the air, cutting
the silence of the struggle between Ricky and the mystic power that was currently engaged in
a fierce tug-o-war over Ricky’s rifle. Time slowed to a mere portion of a second as the bullet
spun a path through the humid afternoon air.

The bullet’s path was stopped soon enough, in the form of a pink body in its trajectory. Pinkie
Pie screamed in pure agony as the bullet passed just above the joint where her left-front leg
connected to her torso. Thankfully, the .22 had little power behind its punch, so the bullet
didn’t pierce far into the flesh, or pass through any main ligaments or arteries. All of her
friends stared, rendered immobile by shock, as Pinkie fell onto her side, stirring up a small
cloud of dust as she fell onto her side. Finally snapping out of their reverie, Twilight, Rarity,
and Fluttershy ran to her aid.

Ricky used this brief interlude to fully grasp his rifle, as the purple aura had vanished.
Grasping the bolt, he went through the brief four-step process of reloading, which, with pure
effort of repeated practice, Ricky completed within a short span of milliseconds. Standing
back up, Ricky was greeted by a blur of rainbow-colored light, which he knew to be Rainbow
Dash, rocketing towards him, hell-bent on revenge of the highest order. Scrambling on his
elbows and his butt, Ricky tried to get as far as possible from Rainbow.

“Please, just stop, this is all a mis…” Ricky’s sentence was cut off by a horseshoe and hoof
slamming directly into the left side of his jaw. Getting knocked back on his haunches, Ricky
quickly struggled back to his feet. Looking up, he found that he was just in time to watch the
second hoof come flying right into his nose. Ricky did a spin in place, stumbling away from
Rainbow Dash. Once Ricky managed to right himself, he saw a blur headed at him again.
This time, he ducked, dropping his head just in time. Rainbow missed, slamming on the
brakes a bit away from him. She turned, with a look that froze Ricky with fear. It was the look
of someone who was going for the kill.

This time, she zoomed back towards him, but stopped just in front of him. Ricky took this
small opening to throw a left hook, his first retaliation. His punch met open air. Rainbow Dash
had simply vanished. Suddenly, a crushing force hit the back of his neck, sending Ricky in
motion forward. Turning around, Ricky saw Rainbow Dash, hovering over the grass. Ricky
lunged back forward, throwing another punch. But once again, Rainbow was gone. Another
sharp blow connected with the back of Ricky’s head. Finally, Ricky realized what was
happening. Rainbow was flying behind him, hitting him from behind when he went forward.
Ricky turned and went for another punch. But this time, it was a feint. Predictably, Rainbow
disappeared. Ricky suddenly pivoted on his left heel, and using that power, he swung, using
his left elbow to make a preemptive strike in what he guessed was Rainbow’s location. His
elbow connecting with flesh and a surprised yelp gave him his answer soon enough. Turning,
Ricky saw Rainbow, hunched over in pain, clutching her stomach. Ricky threw a right, and this
time, it found its mark. Rainbow was knocked to the side by the sheer force of Ricky’s blow.
Red mists of rage began to creep into the edges of Ricky’s vision as he threw another right,
which caught Rainbow again. Smirking as he realized he was winning, Ricky threw an upper
cut. Rainbow never saw it coming. Catching her right on her jaw, Rainbow was immediately
out for the count. She landed in an unceremonious heap in the dirt a few feet from Ricky.
Panting, Ricky walked a few steps before bending over to pick his rifle up. As he straightened
back up, he saw the last pony doing nothing. Applejack sat where she had been since the
beginning of the fight, staring off into nothing. Ricky raised his rifle. Suddenly, a white glow
surrounded the rifle, much like the purple one. Ricky was unprepared, and the hard pull on the
rifle right off the bat simply yanked it out of his hands. Looking to his side, he saw Rarity, a
white glow surrounding her horn as well, standing off to his side.

“You’ll not harm my friends any further, you ruffian!” Rarity yelled. Applejack’s eyes snapped
back into focus, and she turned to face Ricky, her eyes aflame. Grabbing a lasso from
god-knows-where, she began to twirl it in the air, until it was circling at an insane speed.
Suddenly, she sent the lasso Ricky’s way. Unfortunately for Ricky, it was a perfect throw, as it
wrapped tight around Ricky’s wrists. Shocked, Ricky tried to get his hands out of the tie, but to
no avail. Applejack gave a sharp tug, which sent Ricky sprawling to the ground. Applejack
dropped her end of the rope and jumped on top of Ricky, wrestling to keep him down. Ricky
grunted as he struggled to get back up, but Applejack was giving no respite, pushing him into
the dirt. A third shadow appeared over Ricky, and he looked up from the ground. Twilight was
standing over him, her horn glowing brightly.

“Make one more move, and I’ll turn you into a scorch mark on the ground.” Twilight growled.
Ricky got the message, and stopped moving. “Good. Now, get up off the ground. You’re under
Equestrian arrest.” Applejack got off of Ricky, and let him struggle to his feet. Now that Ricky
was up and finally passive, Twilight began to nudge him along with her horn, keeping it
pressed up against Ricky’s spine. With Fluttershy having gone, presumably to get help for
Pinkie Pie, Rarity shouldered the limp body of an unconscious Rainbow Dash, and the three
conscious ponies and their captive began the long walk down the dirt track.

Several minutes later, buildings began to appear over the horizon. Ricky, trying not to focus
on the forced march, finally took some interest in the surrounding that were passing him by.
As the small party walked past the outskirts, which included a small apple orchard, they
passed a small sign. It read: “Welcome to Ponyville!”. Ricky stared at the houses and stores
that he passed. They had thatched roofs, and were built of wood. The whole place looked like
a village from a Shakespearean-era play. They passed such novelties as a well and an
open-air market on their way through town. Finally, they reached a big wooden building.
Twilight led the way inside, with Rarity and a still-unconscious Rainbow Dash following
behind.Applejack nudged Ricky in next, with her taking up the rear.

As Ricky’s eyes adjusted to the dimness of the inside building, he was finally able to make out
several white stallions, or male ponies, standing in a line, wearing some type of golden body
armor, with one standing in front of the rest. He was an orange pony, wearing his armor, which
concealed all but a little bit of a bright blue mane. Something else that Ricky noticed, was he
had something on his flank. It was what looked to be a tattoo of a blue shield, with a lightning
bolt running through its center. “Twilight? Why are you here?” Twilight simply jerked her head
in Ricky’s direction. The stallion’s eyes followed Twilight’s motion, landing on Ricky. He didn’t
say or do anything, he just stared at the restrained human with one of the best poker faces
Ricky had ever seen. “He’s why, Flash. He hurt Pinkie really bad with this,”she levitated
Ricky’s rifle so Flash could see it, “and knocked out Rainbow Dash with a few punches. I’d
like you to book him in the Ponyville jail for a trial with the Princesses.” Twilight explained.
Meanwhile, Ricky’s only though was “Princesses? LOL,”. Applejack gave the rope binding
Ricky’s hands to Flash, who took it in his mouth.

“Okay, but you’ll have to fill out some paperwork and talk to the Mayor about this,” Flash
grumbled through the rope clenched in his mouth. “Okay,” Twilight walked away with some of
the other guards, while Flash and Ricky walked down the hall. Reaching the wall of cells,
Flash took out a key from, once again, god-knows-where, and unlocked the rusty iron door.
Leading Ricky into the middle of the cell, he turned around and walked back out, locking the
door. “I hope you enjoy this. How could you hurt innocent little Pinkie?” Flash, actually talking
to Ricky for the first time, declared.

“It was an accident.” Ricky said, with a despondent and defeated tone in his voice.

“Oh really?” Flash said, raising an eyebrow in skepticism.

“Yeah, really! It was an accident, and now I’m under arrest! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING, AND
YOU STILL LOCK ME UP LIKE A CRIMINAL!!!” Ricky was shaking the bars of his cell in his
rage, venting all of the frustration at how unfair his current situation truly was.

Flash took a step back, momentarily surprised by Ricky’s outburst. But, ever the professional,
his face hardened, and he turned to leave. All of a sudden, he turned back to Ricky and
leaned in close.

“Look, kid, I feel sorry for you. I can tell you’re not lying. But, you’re gonna have a tough time
in the trial. The Princesses aren’t exactly lenient. Good luck. You’ll need it,” Flash finished,
before walking away. And just like that, Ricky was alone. Despairingly, Ricky turned around to
look at his room for the first time. A pile of hay sat in the back corner, and a bucket sat in the
other back corner. A small window sat in the back middle, letting the late afternoon sunlight
seep into the cell. All in all, not exactly a five-star hotel. Ricky sat on the hay, staring at the
opposite wall. Defeatism began to creep into the back of Ricky’s head as he sat there, and he
began to think about his house, Welfork Manor. He thought about his parents. He thought
about Earth, and Mercury, and Venus, and Mars, and Jupiter, and Saturn, and Uranus, and
Neptune, and even little Pluto, exiled from his home to live as an outcast, no longer one of the
planets. ‘I bet that Pluto feels a lot like I do right about now,’ Ricky thought, a small trace of his
humor beginning to seep back into his words and his mind.

And so Ricky sat, for an extended period of time, until a rustling sound could be heard. Ricky
looked up to see Twilight, flanked by Flash and another guard. The door swung open, and
Twilight stepped in, while Flash and the other guard stayed outside.

“You’re lucky, Ricky. The Princesses have requested that this trial be brought to the top of the
queue, and they are already waiting for us. We’re leaving now for Canterlot, so get up.” Ricky
stared for a second, before his mouth began to crease slightly. Soon a full on grin sat proudly
on Ricky’s face, and Ricky began to quietly chuckle, which soon crescendoed into raucous
laughter. “What is it?” Twilight demanded, not in the mood to play games. Ricky wiped a tear
of mirth out of his eye before speaking. “Canterlot!?” He broke back down into a laughing fit
after his words were spoken. Twilight just sighed in annoyance, and flared up her horn, which
glowed with a brilliant purple light. As she touched Ricky’s forehead, all of their surroundings
melted away.

Ricky looked back up from his episode to see a small room, quaintly furnished with a small
couch and a couple of armchairs, along with a clock. Ricky’s laughing abruptly stopped while
he looked around at the new room, before focusing on a groaning Twilight, who was
struggling to get back on her feet. “Where the hell are we?!” Ricky demanded, starting to grow
panicked.

“We’re in the defendant lobby of the first Canterlot Court in the National Courthouse. Now
come on, they’re waiting for us,” Twilight said, before pressing her horn back up against his
back, forcing him through the small door.

The courtroom itself was just like the ones that would come to mind when thinking of
courthouses. It was pretty big, with benches for the audience in the back. The prosecution
and defendant sides were also present, along with the judge and witness’ stands. Curiously,
though, there was no jury box. ‘Maybe they just sit elsewhere,’ Ricky reasoned. Ricky sat in
the defendant’s chair, just before Twilight disappeared in a flash of light, suddenly reappearing
on the other side, in the prosecution’s chair. Two even more brilliant flashes filled the room,
and drew Ricky’s attention to their origin, which surprised him.

Sitting in the judge’s stand were two more ponies. One was a pure white, with a tattoo of a
sun, and a rainbow mane which refused all laws of physics. The other one was a deep blue,
with a similarly colored mane, which would also drive scientists crazy. Her tattoo was a
crescent moon. Both of them were considerably bigger than any other pony Ricky had met so
far, with the white one being the biggest by far. They both looked down upon Ricky with a
gaze of contempt.

“Ricky, this is Princess Celestia,” Twilight gestured with a hoof towards the big white one, “and
this is Princess Luna,” she pointed to the smaller blue one, completing my introductions to the
only present ruling class of Equestria.

“Let’s make this quick, shall we?” Princess Celestia said, looking to her sister, Luna, who
nodded. “Who shall your attorney be?” Ricky thought about attorneys that he knew, and a
thought crept into his mind. “Do they have to be real?”

“No,” Celestia said. Ricky grinned. “My attorney shall be… Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney!”

“BRINGETH FORTH PHOENIX WRIGHT!” A sudden explosion of sound coming from Luna
made Ricky fall onto his ass. His ears ringing, he clambered back into his chair and said
“Jesus, that was loud!” A flash of light cut off Ricky’s rant early, and he tuned in his seat to see
none other than Phoenix Wright. Phoenix, obviously confused, spun around to take in the
courtroom, before looking at Ricky. “Hello, Phoenix,” Ricky stuck out his hand for Phoenix to
shake, which he did, albeit reluctantly. “Ricky Welfork, your last-millisecond client,” Ricky
introduced himself as they shook hands. “Oh yeah, let me get you up to speed. We’re in a
different world right now, where ponies live. I’m on trial for wounding someone with a gun and
beating up someone else.” Ricky finished explaining his predicament to Phoenix, who finally
spoke. “O...kay.”

“Good,” Ricky gave a curt nod, as Celestia cleared her throat. Everyone turned to look at her
as she asked the two most vital questions. “Is the prosecution ready?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Twilight responded quickly. Celestia nodded and turned to Ricky and
Phoenix. “Is the defense ready?”

“Yes, Celestia,” Phoenix said, straightening up slightly.

“Well then,” Celestia said, grabbing up a gavel in a yellow glow, “Court is now in session.”