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// Prolog 
// Story: P**7: Porkchop’s Probably Pretty Pointless Purple Pony Princess Problem 
// by Shark8 
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P**7


Porkchop’s Probably Pretty Pointless Purple Pony Princess Problem


Prologue

Ryoga Hibiki sighed as he wandered through the forest, lost yet again. As much as he wished he could clench his hand and yell ‘Ranma Saotome, this is all your fault!’ he knew that it really wasn’t… still, it was depressing that the girl he’d admired so much had chosen his rival.
He looked up at the sky, expecting to see the moon through the tree-branches, but only saw dark, foreboding thunder-heads — with his luck it figured — but at least it matched his mood.
He reached up to his ridiculously oversized pack and withdrew his umbrella, it was his constant companion ever since he’d been cursed in China — Jusenkyo’s ‘Pool of Drowned Piglet’, to be exact — and now was transformed into just such a piglet when exposed to cold water… the only semi-fortunate part of the curse was that hot-water reversed the change.
That wasn’t the only curse he bore — his entire family had a terrible sense of direction and was prone to get lost… but whether that was actually due to an actual curse laid on his family years and years ago or simply bad luck he really didn’t know; in any case it didn’t matter a lot because he still had to deal with it either way.
Just then the rain started, setting a light pitter-patter that grew in frequency until it was rain indeed.
‘Well, at least there’s no wind.’ Ryoga thought to himself as he continued on, stepping out of the forest and, paying no conscious attention to where he was going, 


●     ●     ●     ●     ●


Fluttershy opened her eyes with a smile as she awoke, today was going to be a great day! She was going to be providing pets to ponies who wanted to ‘adopt’ one of the many animals that she cared for; after the success of matching Tank the tortoise with Rainbow Dash, she had been kicking the idea around, and today was the day.
Also exciting was getting to match a pet up with Spike… sure, Twilight Sparkle had Owlicious, but after a talk about responsibility the small dragon had insisted he was ready to have a pet of his own.
She trotted lively outside to begin feeding all the animals: from rabbits to bears, from birds to seals, from cats to pigs, she fed them all as she hummed cheerfully to herself. If she had been a little more mindful she would have noticed that one of the pigs still asleep in the pile of pigs was black, a rather unusual coloring, and wore a yellow and black bandana around its neck — something that would indicate that the piglet wasn’t just ‘some pig’ but probably someone’s pet.
After that task was completed, she trotted inside to make herself a quick breakfast, which she barely had time for before she could expect ponies to show up for pets.


—     —     —     —     —


“Hello Fluttershy!” Twilight Sparkle said as she came up the path between Fluttershy’s cottage and Ponyville with Spike riding atop her shoulders. While she could have flown, she had opted to carry Spike just as before she’d gained wings becoming an alicorn.
“Oh, hello Twilight, hello Spike.” Fluttershy said with a smile, “I’m really glad that you came. Do you have any idea what sort of pet you want?”
“I’ll look around.” Spike said, sweeping the grounds around Fluttershy’s cottage with a gaze after dismounting.
There were all sorts of animals here, it would be easily overwhelming if he had no idea what he did or didn’t want. Fortunately he knew some things he didn’t want: flying would be too much of a problem for the ground-bound dragon, so that was discarded; cold-blooded was another thing that he didn’t want, mostly because he wanted something warm to cuddle with at night; he also didn’t want anything that required a lot of water, so seals and otters were right out.
As Spike looked around he saw a piglet start to wake up, an expression of bewilderment plastered on its face — or at least Spike imagined it as such — and immediately felt a connection. It was as if the porcine soul hid an unrecognized intelligence, an unappreciated form begging for acknowledgment and recognition.
“Wait, why would I choose a pig?” Spike asked himself before turning on a heel and exploring what Fluttershy was offering. Given Opalescent’s rather aggressive reaction to him, Spike decided to forgo kittens.
There were puppies, which would be a pain if Mayor Mare actually approved the Dog Leash and Defecation Responsibility and Restitution ordinance. Bears wouldn’t be a fit for the library, and the porcupine seemed to be asking for a sticky situation.
Yeah, the pig was looking better and better all the time.
After a few more minutes of looking around Spike ambled over to the pigpen and pointed out the little black one — “That one, Fluttershy!”
“Oh, a piggy!” Fluttershy smiled at the choice, “I just know you’ll be happy with him.”
After a few minutes listening to Fluttershy describe how to take care of a pig, they were all set and waved to the kind pegasus as they left.
“So, Spike, what are you going to call him?” Twilight asked.
“How about Sir Squealy?” Spike asked, testing the name out uncertainly on Twilight.
The look of distaste was mirrored perfectly between Twilight and the little piglet. “I don’t think that’s a good name.”
“Twinklehooves?”
“That’s worse.”
“Blackie?”
“Are you trying to think of the worst names you can?”
“No,” Spike said with a frown, “I just can’t think of a good name.”
The baby dragon was interrupted by his stomach growling, “Maybe I should just call him Porkchop.”
“Always thinking with your stomach.” Twilight laughed, “I think that suits him just fine.”
Neither of them noticed the look of abject terror on the piglet’s face as they decided on the name ‘Porkchop’.