//------------------------------// // Meeting and Greeting // Story: Integrals // by Mozzarella //------------------------------// "I'll be blowing up tonight if you know what I mean." Integrals *** It came out as more of a wheeze than a scream, the attempted pitch out of reach even for his relatively high and soft voice. His cowering was less than successful as well. The retreat into his mane would have been more effective had he not been shaking. Or if he had a long enough mane to begin with. The other stallions reacted differently, bolting to their hooves with combative postures and still sleeping eyes. Except for the pink one. He calmly rose and looked around as if he'd been subject to a camera flash and not summoned into existence. "What the Sam Dill just exploded?" boomed the delirious earth pony under his stetson. If his eyes were all the way open, his stocky and tall build would have posed quite a threat to whoever woke him up. On a side note, remind me to tell you the story of Sam Dill, the infamous cucumber bandit of the Appleoosa badlands. That dude was crazy. One of the unicorns shot him a sideways glare. That unicorn had no right sporting such a nice mane, by the way. He had absolutely no time to style it, yet those curls were catching some eyes all over the room. "Shouting is not helping, you brute! Neither I nor the quivering one." "Settle down, both of you!" the other unicorn shouted, his outburst splitting the pink streak of his mane around his horn. "Where are we?" The calm pink pony glanced around at the arguing stallions and the well stocked shelves. He came to the conclusion that the answer was pretty obvious. "It's a library, silly. See all the books?" He grabbed the standing stallions by the neck and pointed their heads around the room. Their view shifted upwards without their consent to a cymbal wielding pegasus and his cheeky grin. "Sorry," he said as genuinely as possible. "Did I wake you?" The large earth pony shook out of the pink hooves and glared at what woke them. "Ah didn't quite catch that what with the ringin' in mah ears. Why don't 'cha come down here and say it again." Blitz rolled his eyes and descended. "Chill, dude. You've got better stuff to do than sleep on the floor." "Fine. But why were we on the floor? What's goin' on?" "Alright. Would every stallion please gather round and shut up? I can answer all your questions." The stallions, minus the shivering pegasus, huddled around Blitz. Some did so begrudgingly. "This includes you too, Butterhooves. Get in here." He gave no response aside from a glance from beneath his mane. "Ugh," the purple stallion grunted. He summoned his magic and dragged the straggler into the circle by his hair. "Thanks. So, let's just start with names. I'm Rainbow Blitz. You all know your names, right?" "Applejack," the orange pony said. "Really? That's gonna be awkward." "What?" "Nothing. How 'bout you, Bubblegum? That's not your name, right?" The pink pony smiled wide. "I'm Berry Blintz! You can call me Berry! Or Blintz! Or BB. Or Berber. Or-" Blitz gently closed Berry's jaw before he could say anything more ridiculous. "Berry is fine, dude." "Okay!" "Who's next?" The white unicorn stepped forward, chin high and eyes closed. "You can call me Elusive." "Great. Is there a last name we should know about?" "My first name is enough." "Okay? I was just asking what we can call you." "Elusive is what you can call me," he said plainly. Is this guy for real? Blitz thought, restraining his punching hoof. "Fine, whatever. Butterhooves! You're up." "I-it's Butters-" he murmured before being cut off. "No way! Is it really Butterhooves? I'm good at this." "No. It's B-Butterscotch." "Okay, B-Butterscotch. Stand up like a normal pony. We won't bite. Berry might, though." "I will?" he squeaked. "Please don't bite me!" Butterscotch squeaked back, not leaving his spot on the floor. "I'm not gonna bite you! You don't look like you'd taste good." "Oh. O-okay then." The yellow pegasus rose to his shaky hooves. And kept rising. To the stallions' surprises, he was nearly as tall as Applejack. Not quite as imposing, though. The pink mane really killed his chances of being a club bouncer. "Awesome," Blitz said, nodding. "We're all acquainted. Our next order of business is-" The purple unicorn held up his hoof. "Hold on. You forgot me." "Fine. Who are you?" "Dusk Shine. I'm-" "Perfect. Anypony else?" Berry raised his hoof and bounced in place. "We already got you, Berry." "Aww." Blitz decided not to take any more questions and took to the air. "So basically, you," he motioned to the stallions, "are all clones of them." His gaze rose to the six mares watching from the far side of the room. "Got it?" The stallions looked back to the mares. The mares that looked exactly like them. The mares that were lined up in the exact same order as they were. There was even the rainbow colored one flying above. "Clones?" Applejack asked, eyes contorting in skepticism. Blitz nodded. "That's what I said, isn't it?" "How's that work?" Dusk brought a thoughtful hoof to his chin. "I suppose it is possible to synthesize a duplicate of an existing object by creating a magical field of equal energy and instructions to mimic surroundings. But for several ponies? That would require a lot of magic or," He trailed off upon seeing the chalk in the ground. "Or those." Yeah, that's Twilight's clone alright, Blitz thought. The egghead doesn't fall far from the tree. "Could'a jus' said 'magic', pal," Applejack muttered. "There's one problem though," Dusk said, pacing. Blitz's shoulders sagged. "Please tell us, Professor Dusk," he droned. "They're girls." "Yeah?" "And we're guys." "You getting anywhere with this? 'Cuz that sounds like the opposite of a problem." "If we're clones of them, then how come we seem to be males?" Blitz gave the unicorn an incredulous smile. "Do I look like a unicorn to you? Ask your original. She made us. Well, you anyway. Rarity made me." Elusive's ears perked up at the sound of that name. "Rarity?" "Yeah. The white one over there. Looks like you but with longer hair and a better attitude." Applejack snickered while Elusive's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?" he spat. Blitz waved dismissively. "Just a sec, dude. You'll meet her soon. We've got a few more things to go over. Now, I know what you're thinking. And the answer is no." There was a pause as most of the group realized they were not thinking anything. They continued to look at Blitz expectantly. "You're not going to blow up." Another pause. Only Berry seemed relieved as he wiped is brow. "Why would we blow up?" Dusk asked. "I wasn't worried until you said that." Blitz ignored him again. "Another thing. You're gonna start having visions where you relive the memories of your originals." Again, the stallions expected explanation and were disappointed. "What kind o' visions?" Applejack drawled. "What you'd expect. Shadowy replay of something. Oh, and you pass out when this happens. Bad headaches too. So, like, be careful about things that might trigger memories of something or somepony." "So we're all jus' gonna be passin' out all the time? No way to stop it?" "I don't want bad headaches," Butterscotch whispered. Blitz patted the other pegasus's back. "Don't worry. The passing out stops after you do it enough times. Same for the headaches. But if you don't want to deal with that, you can sort of just pick your own brain while you're sleeping. No headache if you remember while you sleep." "So, should we go to sleep right now?" "No time. The girls are waiting." "G-girls?" ... "Alright girls. Gather round." The mares of the library inched closer to Twilight. Excluding Rainbow Dash, who took to the nearby shelves mumbling "Daring Doo" repeatedly. "I just want to make sure we're all clear. Play off questions as to where they came from. Make sure they know this too. Alright?" They nodded distracted nods, occasionally glancing back to the similar group of stallions. "One more thing. You're all familiar with the Attraction, right?" Rarity nodded again. "Yes dear. I told them all at some point." "So you know you might start to feel things that are out of your control?" Twilight looked for hesitation in her friends' eyes, but found none. Applejack gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry 'bout it, Twi'. We know what we're gettin' into." "You're all okay with it?" "Yup-erooni!" Pinkie squeaked. Twilight sighed. "Then I suppose that's all I can do. I'll leave it up to you what you tell them about it." Before they could scatter, Fluttershy coughed for their attention. "Um, we know about it. But has anypony told Rainbow?" The aforementioned pegasus drifted over the huddle. "Told me what?" The mares shared a few uneasy glances. "Uh, where the books are," the librarian sputtered. "Try over there." "Cool, thanks!" The unicorn sighed again when she was out of earshot. "You know what?" Twilight said, her voice growing more apathetic. "I'll deal with that when we have less on our plates. Let's just focus on the new guys for now. Sound good?" They voiced their agreement and turned around just in time to see the approaching stallions. Oddly enough, not all of the stallions wore expressions to match their counterparts. Female Applejack looked a good deal more cheerful than the other, although that could have been the aftermath of being shocked awake. Elusive wore the opposite of Rarity's attentive gaze, examining his well-manicured hooves. Dusk actually seemed pretty irritated at the whole affair. Ungrateful little- Anyway, that's not to say it was an entirely sour mood in the Golden Oak's library. How could it be with the two pink ponies nearly bursting from excitement about their future meeting? No, there was happiness to be had, however scarce it may have seemed. The room wasn't exactly massive, so the groups met in a reasonable amount of time. Unfortunately, a reasonable amount of time was not quite enough to think of a way to break the ice. "Eh, howdy?" male Applejack suggested. "Howdy," female Applejack agreed. "How, uh. How are y'all doin'?" Mostly unenthusiastic good's answered her. "That's good. Mah name's Applejack." Berry promptly fell into a fit of giggles. "Blitz was right. This is gonna be awkward." "Why?" "Well ya see," male Applejack said, removing his hat. "I'm Applejack too." "Huh." "Yeah." "Then we gotta think up a new name for ya." He frowned and stepped forward. "Now hold on there partner. Why do I gotta change my name?" The mare matched his step and narrowed her eyes. "Cause I had it first. Is that gonna be a problem?" The two orange earth ponies shared a somewhat laughable stare down, the stallion towering over his opponent. She mimicked the expression, however, despite having to raise her head a considerable degree. The others anxiously observed the spectacle, none too keen on seeing Applejack fight Applejack. Rarity considered checking on Twilight who may have been panicking or reconsidering the whole cloning thing. But it wasn't necessary. Stallion Applejack flashed a smile and backed off. "Nah. You can have it. Sounds better on you anyway." "Thank ya kindly. So what can we call you?" "I dunno. AJ?" Applejack was about to say that it sounded good, but the pink stallion interrupted her just as Pinkie did. "You can't just do that!" he complained. "It's boring!" Pinkie nodded. "Yeah! We need something more fun to call you! Or at least longer." AJ was unamused. He wanted to move on. Let somepony else discuss names while he got a better look at that Applejack girl. "Fine. Y'all can find me a name. But I get the final word." Pinkie and Berry took up identical thinking postures for all of five seconds before their inner light bulbs burst open, scattering glass all over the place. "We could still go nickname-y," Berry suggested. "But something better than AJ. Big Jay? Jay Jay? Just Jay? Just Jack?" "Or maybe A-Jacks!" Pinkie interjected. "With an 'X' though. So, like, Ajax!" Twilight giggled. "I don't know if he'll want that one, Pinkie. Ajax fell on his sword." Silence greeted the unicorn's words. Her clone alone smiled at the reference. "Oh come on," she complained. "Have none of you read the Filliad?" There was another pause before Pinkie just blinked and turned away from her. "It doesn't have to be nickname-y. A full Apple name is good too. But are there any left?" Berry frowned and searched his brain. "McIntosh?" "Taken." "Braeburn?" "Taken." "Jonathan?" Pinkie paused. "You're onto something. Jonagold?" "Oh! How about Applejohn?" "Yeah," Dusk chuckled. "That's a great name." "See, Applejohn? Dusk likes it." Dusk shook his head. "No, Berry. I was being sarcastic. Applejohn is an insult." Berry fell to his haunches and crossed his forelegs in a huff. "I didn't think it was that bad," he muttered. "No! I mean, it's actually an insult. Ponies use it in those quasi-historical insults. Like 'Thou pribbling, milk-livered apple-john.' One of those." "Well you're a butt!" Berry yelled indignantly. Dusk flinched. "I am not a butt!" "You're acting like a butt!" AJ watched them in a state of disbelief. Ah ain't even rememberin' anything and they're already givin' me a headache, he thought. "Both o y'all shut it!" he roared. The discussion as to who was or was not a butt came to a close. Something about the biggest pony in the room yelling that loud made it very easy for him to command attention. "I'm AJ and I'm happy with it. Can it be somepony else's turn or somethin'? The offenders murmured quick apologies and rejoined the line facing their counterparts. AJ felt a nudge on his shoulder and found Applejack next to him with an approving smile. "Nice job with that," she whispered. "That was 'bout to get stupid real quick." "That wasn't already stupid?" he asked. "Sugarcube, you got no idea. Say, you got any plans later?" AJ nearly started to consider the day's plans, but soon realized that he had existed for less than an hour. "Can't say I do, darlin'. You got somethin' in mind?" "Well, if it pleases ya, you can come back to Sweet Apple Acres with me." "That sounds nice. What's Sweet Apple Acres?" "'s mah family's farm n' orchard." "Will I be doin' farm work?" "If ya feel like it." "Ya know, I think I do feel like it. But only 'cause you're gonna be there." Applejack grinned. "Just a big ol' flatterer, aren't ya?" And he grinned right back. "Thought I'd be honest 'bout it." Meanwhile, the other earth ponies had begun speaking to each other faster than one might think possible, smiling all the while. "I'm Pinkie Pie!" squeaked Pinkie Pie. "I'm Berry Blintz!" squeaked Berry Blintz. They most likely shared more than their names in that exchange, but nopony could discern any other words in that verbal crossfire. Blitz sighed and interrupted their light speed chat. "Pinkie, Berry, stop doing that. You're meeting everypony, not just your double." "Sorry!" they both replied, still smiling. "So is there anything you want to share with the rest of the class?" Pinkie nodded. "I was just telling Berry here how super duper excited I am to meet him and how he's gonna have a super duper good time in Ponyville and that I hope we can be super duper good friends! Berry waited for her to finish and then nodded as well. "I said that too!" "I know! It's like you're my clone!" "I am your clone!" "I know!" Everypony wore some combination of confusion and disappointment on their faces. "You know," Blitz said as he scratched his head. "I wish there was more to it than that. That's basically Pinkie. So it's basically Berry too. You'll remember more about it later. Who's next?" Rarity flicked back her mane in a way that would knock out any pony with a libido or an appreciation of beauty. "I believe I'll go." Her clone smirked. "I'm glad. I'd like to know more about us." My, that smile is stunning! she thought. Though, I suppose I know where he gets it. "The name's Rarity, dear. Pleased to meet you." Without thinking, she daintily held out her hoof for what could reasonably be thought to be a hoof shake. Rarity doesn't do hoof shakes, though. "The pleasure is all mine, Rarity." The stallion found himself stepping closer to take her hoof in his. He then found his lips on it as well. This is a bit forward, isn't it? Why would I do this to greet a pony? One like her, no less. Again, his lips moved without his permission. Still felt right, though. "I'm Elusive." Rarity managed to emit an appropriate giggle as opposed to the outright squealing she was doing in her head. "Elusive?" she asked to test the name on her tongue. "Marvelous. So, you wanted to know about us, correct? I own and operate a business not far from here where I provide whatever one may need to look their best. Garments for both him and her, accessories, and even a few beauty products that nopony bothers purchasing." "Fantastic." "It really is. It would be even better if I could take you along. I've been needing a stallion's perspective in my clothing." "I would be honored." The group could only watch as the white unicorns gazed deep into each other's eyes. They might as well have been alone, for all the attention they paid to their new friends. "Yo, dude," whispered a voice from behind Blitz. "Check it out." Blitz saw his double holding a hard-back novel with an admittedly badass looking mare on the cover. She had an orange coat, a grayscale mane, and that dorky safari look you could only pull off if you were beating something up. Thankfully, the trail of unconscious baddies behind her confirmed her badass status. "That's cool and all," he said. "But shouldn't you be paying attention to this? We're gonna have to introduce everypony again." Dash just rolled her eyes and waved him off. "It's fine. I've been listening. That guy's Elusive, there's Berry, that's... What did we decide was Applejack's nickname?" "AJ." "Right. AJ. So yeah, who's left?" "Hold on," Blitz said, turning to the staring contest. "Rarity! Elusive! You can go back to blinking now." The two snapped out of their respective trances with similar levels of embarrassment on their faces. "Thanks. Fluttershy, say hello to everypony." The shy pegasus reacted like she would in any other social situation: with reluctance. She murmured something unintelligible and scraped her hoof along the floor. Everypony really was being a caricature of themselves this afternoon, huh? The mare's discomfort rather upset her clone, who did not currently have attention drawn to him. Something about her frightened face urged Butterscotch to act. It's not as though this was a dire situation in need of heroics, but seeing a pony like Fluttershy speak without stuttering was pretty remarkable. "Um, hello Fluttershy," he cooed. "My name is Butterscotch. It's nice to meet you." He then took her hoof, if only to draw her out of her mane a bit more. It would be unreasonable to expect a repeat of Elusive's spectacle with these two. Fluttershy's eyes traveled up the hoof to the nice stallion she was meeting. His caring and gentle smile flew in the face of the male stereotypes she'd heard before. Pleasantly so, of course. "H-hi," she said almost breathlessly. A small feat, but at least she was no longer scrutinizing the floor. However, despite the progress, their greetings were not fast enough for the impatient Rainbow Blitz, who came up from behind and threw a friendly foreleg around the not quite shaking mare. "Fluttershy here lives near the Everfree Forest with a whole slew of animals. She's basically the reason most of Ponyville's animals can live here. Pretty neat, huh?" "Wow. That's so nice of you." Butterscotch continued to smile at her. Fluttershy blushed at the praise, but didn't shy away. "It's no trouble. I enjoy it, really." "How do you manage to care for a town's worth of critters all by yourself?" "I can handle it. They don't need much from me other than food and some first aid every now and then. It's fine." Butterscotch's smile flickered for a moment. "Oh." "B-but I could always use some help! If you're interested I mean." "I would love to!" "Great! That's great! I'll bring you with me when we're done here." Blitz leaned over to Dash, unimpressed. "It's like pulling teeth with them," he muttered. She smirked back. "Yeah, but they're pretty friggin adorable once they get going." "I guess so." That left one pair of identical ponies that were not yet standing together. Wary of the last time he went last, Dusk decided to talk before he could be forgotten. "So," he said with a drawn out 'o' sound. "I'm-" "Dusk," Twilight interrupted. "Berry said it before." She then noticed her clones pursed lips and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, did I interrupt you?" Dusk smiled and shook his head. "It's alright. I'm Dusk Shine actually. But that's sort of a mouthful, isn't it?" The mare shrugged. "Hey, it's shorter than Twilight Sparkle." "Twilight Sparkle, huh?" Dusk sighed. "These names are getting silly." "Whose? Mine?" "No. You came first. I'm talking about mine and the other guys'. Our names, if they're not already the same, are just synonyms of or words related to yours. It's odd, isn't it?" Twilight laughed. "It's not the weirdest thing about clones, believe it or not." "Oh?" "I'll tell you more about it later. This time is for greetings, right?" "You're right. You're right. So, uh, what do you do?" "Well I run and live in this library for one thing. Not that many ponies are looking for books these days." "Wait. You live in a library? That must be so convenient." "Right? You know, most ponies look at me like I'm weird when I tell them that." "I mean, it's not that odd for me to be agreeing with you. You know, because of the clone thing?" "Right. You're right. It's still nice to have somepony understand for once. Anyway, I'm here primarily to study friendship, magic, and the relationship between the two. I have to report back to Princess Celestia when I learn something." "Princess?" "Yes. You see, right now we are in a region called Equestria. At the highest levels of our government are Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Smaller governments exist within each town though. Dusk mouthed those names contemplatively. "Why do those names sound familiar?" "Don't think too hard about it. Your visions might start soon. I think tonight I'll have you go to sleep while I prompt some important memories for you. Otherwise you'll be passing out all the time like Blitz did." "Thanks for that. Now, about that guy. Has he been here longer than us? He sure seems to know more about everything." "It's a funny story, actually. You see, a few days ago, Rarity had gotten the idea to magically duplicate one of her dresses when she ran out of supplies. Then Rainbow Dash- that's her over there- crashed through her window as she shot the spell and, well, there he was." "Why didn't she just-" "I have no clue. There were so many other choices she could have made, but she went for the most complicated one. I've learned to stop questioning it." "Huh. That's an... odd story. Though I suppose Blitz isn't too upset about it. I guess my next question would be why did you make the rest of us? I'm assuming it was you and not Rarity again." Twilight shifted uncomfortably at the question, but kept her straight face more or less. "It was me, and I'm paying the price for it by the way. That was a lot of magic. Anyway, I made all of you to explore more applications of the duplication spell I developed. Almost nopony has studied it before and none have gone as far as we have today. That's where you come in." "Glad I come in here at some point." "I'd like you to stay with me here to help study and experiment with the cloning spell." "Sure." "You don't have to. I'll let you live here regardless of- wait. You'll do it?" Dusk smiled incredulously. "I get to live in a library with a talented pony like you and study unexplored magical territory? That one's a no-brainer." "Oh stop," Twilight said, blushing. "Sorry, but you made five ponies with magic just now. That normally takes about eleven months, you know." "Hush. If I cast the spell correctly, you should be made of the same stuff. I'm nothing special." You seem plenty special to me, Dusk thought, unconsciously losing himself in her eyes. But he caught himself early enough and snapped out of the spell. Wow. I'm really glad I only thought that. But the gesture wasn't lost on Twilight, who found herself short of breath despite a lack of exertion, magical or otherwise. She still did her best to ignore it. A bird's eye view of the library offered an interesting and very telling scene. Scattered about were five pairs of nearly identical ponies, now without a point of focus in which to feign interest. The silence was not uncomfortable. In fact, it was a welcome break in the busy afternoon. It was not the pairs' differences that made the scene interesting, but what they shared. At any given moment, several sideways glances were cast between clone and clone-e, lingering as long as possible before fleeing for fear of being discovered. Another pair, flying above, may have remembered experiencing such glances. Of course, those privy to this bird's eye view lacked the means to appreciate it. To them, it was a lull in what should have been more entertaining. "May I have your attention please?" Blitz asked in his best announcer voice. Twenty eyes dragged themselves away from their desires to the pegasus. "We have one more pony to introduce. She's hip! She's hot! She's one of the fastest things alive! Fillies and gentlecolts, put your hooves together for Rainbow Dash!" Dash whipped around the library, messing up manes and papers alike in her wake. She settled into a hover right above her friends, flipping back her colorful mane. "Thank you. Thank you. Don't bother holding your applause." Had Dash opened her eyes, she would see only two pink ponies applauding her. But they still sounded like a full theater after the performance of a lifetime. "Fantastic," Twilight deadpanned, looking over her scattered paperwork. "We're all acquainted. Anything you don't know, you'll learn in your dreams tonight. If anypony asks, you're from out of town. Any questions?" Berry lifted his hoof. "You're not gonna blow up, Berry!" Blitz shouted. The hoof fell to the ground. Twilight gave them all a moment to think of a real question. To be honest, it seemed like they were in a rush to leave. "Alright. You're all dismissed." That's when a deformed claw ripped open a hole in reality in Twilight's front door. Everypony was no longer dismissed. ...