//------------------------------// // [FIXED]Episode 51: What Is With All The Staring? // Story: The Life of a Wanted Changeling (Comment Driven Story) // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// Let's see, you're surrounded by a dragon, a crazy pony, a possible fillyfooler with anger issues, and a herd of huge buffalo... If all else fails, do what any sane, professional, fearless changeling would do... "OH LUNA! PLEASE DON'T SCALP ME AND CUT OUT MY HEART IN THE NAME OF YOUR NATURE SPIRITS OR CHAIN ME TO A SLOT MACHINE IN ONE OF YOUR CASINOS AND FORCE ME TO GAMBLE AWAY ALL MY BITS!!!" you blurt out in a panic as you throw your arms over your head (That probably sounded REALLY species-ist, but you're too terrified to think straight and are just falling back on the stereotypes you've seen in the movies) They all just keep staring at you with blank looks, even Pinkie is giving you a blank look (you didn't even think that mare was even capable of any emotion outside of cheer). Noling has blinked since you were discovered and it's starting to become really creepy... Is this some form of saying hello or something? You think to yourself in confusion, but then a dark realization hits you... Wait... I'm surrounded by a crazy pony who can bend the laws of reality, a possible pegasus fillyfooler with severe anger issues, a herd of huge buffalo who headbutt each other for fun, and a gorram dragon! In this situation, you do what any sane, professional, fearless changeling would do, "OH LUNA! HAVE MERCY ON ME NOBLE SAVAGES! PLEASE DON'T SCALP ME AND CUT OUT MY HEART IN THE NAME OF YOUR NATURE SPIRITS OR CHAIN ME TO A SLOT MACHINE IN ONE OF YOUR CASINOS AND FORCE ME TO GAMBLE AWAY ALL MY BITS!!!" you blurt out in a panic as you get down on the ground and throw your arms over your head. You peek out of your hooves and now see that EVERYONE now has really REALLY angry glares on their faces and you hear angry muttering from the Buffalo, "Species-ist." "I call his spleen. *cracks neck*" "Why don't we have a casino again?" "Darn it, No Tact! The chief looking buffalo said "We weren't going to discuss that anymore since the last time we did, it ended in a free-for-all!" You think to yourself in a panic, Gorramit movie stereotypes! Because of you, I just angered a small army of savag-. I mean. Buffalo and possibly made the situation with Appleloosa worse! I need to find a way to diffuse this situation, ASAP!!! ... *ding* So everyone is looking at Bugzy and he has no idea why? Staring contest! Go! *Half an hour later* Bugzy: "Well... this is awkward. Is there something on my face?" With the buffalo all giving you furious glares, you say, "Okay, I am really really really really REALLY sorry about that outburst. Especially the whole "noble savages" thing. I mean, I never saw a Buffalo in person before so westerns are all I got to go on. I'm pretty sure ya'll are all nice civilized creatures who don't rip out ponies's hearts or force them to gamble in casinos." Sensing that you're probably still making things worse, you think quickly for another plan. *ding*You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and say, "Uhhhhh... STARING CONTEST! GO!" You open your eyes at that last part at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow looks at you in shock before getting a determined look on her face and she begins to stare you down as well. With Rainbow's ego and Bugze's determination,this is gonna take awhile sooooo... HALF AN HOUR LATER You and Rainbow are now surrounded by buffalo. Apparently staring contests weren't a normal thing among Buffalo so it managed to calm them down as they forgot about they're anger at you and are now focusing on the impromptu contest (even Pinkie managed to get a bag of popcorn from out of nowhere and is sharing it with Spike). You hear whispers going around the buffalo raging from "I'm putting my Bits on the cowboy" or "My Bits are on Rainbow". So they're gambling on a staring contest... Wow. They must have nothing else to do out here besides demanding local towns to give up their main food supply. You think to yourself as you continue to stare down Rainbow. You notice that she's about to lose it and you can't help but smirk and think, Ha! Take that you fillyfooler. I stared down a chickzard that could turn you to stone. This is a piece of cake. Mmmm cake... Great, now I want cake. Finally, Rainbow blinks, and you throw your hooves in the air and you begin to jump up and down in victory. You here a few "Yes!"s, but mostly groans and upset mumbling among the crowd. Apparently, alot of buffalo bet on Rainbow and not you. You are about to ask the chief looking buffalo again about why they are mad at Braeburn and Appleloosa, when you notice that they are all staring at you... again. You laugh awkwardly and say, "Well... this is awkward. Is there something on my face?" Suddenly, a horrible realization dawns on you... You still have your hat and bandanna/scarf on, right? Your stetson and bandanna could have fallen off when you were celebrating your win over Rainbow! Please please please tell me that my cool stetson and orange bandanna are still on!You think to yourself in a panicked tone. You quickly check to see if they are still on and, thank Luna, they are. But you can't help but begin to wonder why they are staring at you... again. Is it my breath, does it smell? No, it's covered by my bandanna so that can't be it. Oh dear Luna no, please don't tell me I'm sweating though my coat!You think to yourself horror. You quickly lift up your front leg and check to see if you actually did sweat though it. Luckily, seems that you didn't sweat though your awesome coat after all. You then notice a piece of paper next to the chief looking buffalo, and it looks like a important document. I should probably look at that, but how do I look at it without them knowing... *ding* I know! Time for Plan B.69! With that thought in mind you scream... Your genius mind develops the most intricate plan in the history of plans. "HEY, LOOK A DISTRACTION!" "HEY, LOOK A DISTRACTION!" You point your hoof away from you and the important looking paper when you screamed that. And (like all the times before that) it works! All the buffalo, Rainbow, Pinkie, and Spike(you think that even the gorram apple tree might have turned too) look away from you. Working quickly you snatch the paper and read it as fast as possible, it says... Plans to get stampede ground back 1. Collect undergarments 2. ??? 3. Profit! 4. Threaten 5. Bribe 6. Blackmail 7. Compromise etc. The list of plans go on for awhile, but what catches your attention is that all the plans besides plan seven are crossed out. In fact, Plan seven is circled. The buffalo must have been either convinced or finally decided to go with plan seven. Shiny! Seven is a lucky number! I should tell Braeburn about this. You think to yourself in a excited tone. You decide that, since the mares and Spike are both unharmed and not behind a cage, they''l be fine and you could leave now. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can tell Braeburn the good news. You gently put the document back where you found it and you begin to tip-toe away. You manage to get a couple of yards (or meters if you follow that system) when you hear something behind you, "Ahem" You slowly turn around and see that all eyes are on you again. Now how are you gonna get away... You look around for a good minuet or two, No one says anything. You feel shiver fly though your body as you remember another saying from your Grand Pappy "When in doubt, sing it out." He whispered to you before saying "Play me off buggy! (Your Uncle buggy he was -if you can remember- was the hives best pianist)" As he danced away from the queen's personally royal guards (who were steaming mad and soaked to the bone wet). You look to Pinkie who gives you a wink, then you look to the chef before saying, "Play me off, Pinkie!" before dancing away(As well Pinkie for some reason has a piano to play you off, Pinkie being Pinkie.). You laugh nervously as you look around for a good minute or two as noling says anything... AGAIN! *shiver* You feel a shiver fly though your body as you remember another saying from your grandbuggy, "When in doubt, sing it out." He whispered to you before saying "Play me off @!#$@%!" (Your grandbuggy was-if you remember correctly- the hive's best pianist) and danced away from the queen's personal royal guards (who were steaming mad and covered in melted gummy ursa goop) ahhhhh those where the days. You decide to follow your grandbuggy's advice, but you can't help but think, Where am I gonna get a gorram piano? For some reason when you think that you look at Pinkie, and then... you swear you saw her wink at you. The next thing you know she has a piano and she's looking at you to give her her que. You just decide that this is just Pinkie being Pinkie so you can save yourself a head headache. You look to the chief before throwing a hoof towards Pinkie and saying, "Play me off, Pinkie!" Before dancing away. You dance all the way back to Appleloosa since the buffalo and Rainbow were too confused at the sudden dance number to stop you. Now to find Braeburn... THE NEXT DAY You found Braeburn the other day (after picking up Nightshade who you found adorably sleeping in a crate covered in empty pie dishes) and told him about the buffalo's plan for a compromise (over cake and sarsaparilla of course). Braeburn is super happy about the news, and he asked you if you wanted to come with him and the mares to the buffalo camp the next day. You being you, decided to tag along. You, Braeburn, and the mares were about halfway there when you literally bumped into Spike, Rainbow, and Pinkie. Luckily the small buffalo from last night runs over to you and the group before Rainbow could pound you. After some reuniting between the mares, Rainbow Dash says, "We brought our new pal Little Strongheart here to explain to the Appleloosans why they should move the apple trees off buffalo land." Braeburn replies, "That information would be quite help–" but Applejack interrupts, "That's weird. 'Cause my cousin Braeburn here wants to explain to the buffalo why they should let the apple trees stay." Little Strongheart replies, "That would be a useful thing to–" but Rainbow Dash interrupts her and says, "The land is theirs! You planted the trees not knowing that. Honest mistake. Now, you just gotta move 'em, that's all." Applejack argues, "They busted their rumps here! An' now they're supposed ta bust their rumps again, just 'cause some buffalo won't stampede someplace else?" Rainbow Dash and Applejack start arguing as the others just stare at each other. Maybe you should say something, but you can't help but think... What's with all the staring lately? What do you do?