A Song of Madness

by DCLzexon

Ch 1 - Waking Up Mad

Many ponies believe Celestia is a benevolent paragon of the sun, a guiding light against the darkness that threatens to envelop the world in coldness, that is complete horse shit. Dont believe me? Well let me make my case, I present to you Exhibit A: Mornings. What kind and loving god, would ever subject her people through the Tartarus-like experience of having to drag themselves from the soft confines of their beds, day after day, to suffer for not being able to obtain the mythical ‘perfect sleep’.

Thats right, I’m onto you Celestia, you best pray that I don't devote my genius intellect too exposing your lies and usurping your throne….

“Good morning to you too, sunshine…” I groaned to myself.

Go buck yourself in the arse with a flaming saxophone.


Mornings are never easy with my voice around. Despite the first fifteen years of my life being conditioned around a disciplined sleep schedule. My inner voice of madness deemed it fitting to bitch and moan about having to wake up so early every day, I had to start drinking coffee just to get her back to normal levels of insanity.

I can hear everything you're thinking you know.

So can I, doesn't stop you from never shutting up now does it?

Get your fat flank up out of bed and make me some coffee, or I will see to it that everything you know and love dies in a burning cascade of fiery misery!

For the love of the stars, alright, alright, just quit your whining, it’s giving me an early headache.

I casted my sheets aside and let my hair spill down around me, whipping it side to side, admiring its flawless shimmer and form. It was almost a sin to have hair as beautiful as I, Octavia Harmonious Melody, it was my gift to the world, as well as my music of course.

In counter to my own voice-of-insanity’s earlier tirade I present my own “Exhibit A” for the existence of a kind and loving pair of gods watching over us: coffee. It’s delicious aroma always sent shivers down my spine, and the deep blends of flavors and ingredients to be explored where wasted on us mere, foalish, mortal ponies. Plus, anything that could take some of the edge of my extremely temperamental mental-illness-turned-unwilling-friend, was a god send.

Ha Ha, very funny, the more you anger me, the harder the rest of your day is going to be.

Still continuing your vendetta against Vinyl scratch?

It was a Vendetta BEFORE she put poison joke in our shoes, NOW it’s premeditated murder in the making.

These antics are nothing new from the mare, I don't know how you can still take it so personally

Stop pretending to be the mature and forgiving one, I didn't put it in your head to buy that new knife set for ‘cooking only purposes’.

Hey, I MOSTLY meant that when I bought those, and too my credit, Vinyl still draws breath, and remains unharmed.

That’s the problem, you haven't done anything but give her the silent treatment in retort for the past week since we got here. If you keep this up, she’s going to catch on that we plan to murder her.

I’m not trying to kill her.

The filly said to the homicidal voice in her head.

I really wasn't trying to kill Vinyl...I think. But on the day I had arrived, I snapped at the poor mare who was only trying to be friendly, in her own weird, perverse, insulting kind of way, but that didn't excuse the fact. I was dealing with some rather personal issues I had with her, and I wasn't quite ready to talk about them still. So for the last seven days, I’ve kept my conversations with her to a base minimum. Vinyl tries to get me going by talking about my breasts, pulling pranks, or by making conversation during our practice sessions, but I have found myself unable to indulge the ivory mare in banter.

I came to regain a friend, and settle old hardships with the hyperactive DJ, but outside of the skillset of intimidation, insults, and political small talk, my social abilities are stunted at best, no better than a rabid cockatrice at worst. It wasn't as if Vinyl made it easy, sure she’s friendly, open, and willing to talk at any moment, but she is a crazed eccentric, who likes to goad me into anger for one reason or another. Calm, rational thought is my domain, where I still have control over myself, but anger and rage was ‘her’ specialty. When she came out, it was always hard to regain control, and considering how much that side of me wants to do nothing more than take a garroting wire to Vinyls neck, I find it better to just ignore the mare, until I can find a way to reign in my annoyance when around her.

Fat chance of that happening, filly’s got your buttons on a control pad.

“Yes, she is quite exquisitely skilled at enraging me, some things never change I suppose.”

If you had told me that the devil was a short, white coated, blue haired pony named Vinyl Scratch, I would have believed you for a multitude of unflattering reasons, but let’s just blame it on her impeccable timing for now, shall we?

“Are you talking about my underwear or my Shades?” Vinyl asked from right behind me.

I responded in which with the most graceful flailing of my arms, were afterwards
I remembered to say good morning to the floor, with my face.

“Vinyl! How many times have I told you to address yourself as you enter the room, my heart is not designed for your constant frights!” I screamed from the ground.

“That's a pretty demanding order considering the quality reactions you give, Tavi.” Giggled the DJ

I set my self back up onto proper form, to look upon a scantily clad Vinyl Scratch wearing nothing besides a rather revealing lingerie set of gold and white, and her trademark shades of course. Honestly, if she kept that wild mane of hers in check, she could easy land a job as a athletic model.

“C-Celestia’s grace Vinyl! why are you wearing such an indecent outfit!” I stammered. I was a mare of class after all, rarely are my eyes ever subjected to such indecent displays.

“Because it makes me feel sexy.”

“That’s a terrible joke and you know it.”

The white mare suddenly dawned a serious questioning face.

“Why would I joke about my self-image?”

I could do nothing but give a flat look in response.

The Everfree forest is only a day ride away; they would never find the body.

“Shut up.”

“But I didn’t say anything.” Vinyl commented

“Not you… I was talking to….ugh, never mind.”

I buried my face into my hands, preparing for another long day of awkward silences and haphazard pranks. But Vinyl, less the sun disappear the very instant it happened, just couldn't be predictable.
“Hey Tavi…” She questioned, but I refused to answer at the time.

“Tavi…..Tavi…..Taaaaaaaviiiiiii.” As my vain attempts to ignore her continued, she sucked in a deep breath of air before her next words.



“Wait, can you even do that?”


She even looked like she was considering the idea, as if it would be a fun little experiment to try some day. Do you see why I’m so insane? A sane mare wouldn't be within a twenty mile radius of Vinyl.

“Hold that thought, because I have a better one for ya, Tavi.”

“You have my seething, angry, undivided attention, my dear Vinyl.”

“Well first, do you know what these are?” Vinyl, through the same disregard of the laws of physics that she obviously held for common decency, appeared behind me only a split second after saying her last word. she held a pair of padded gloves in her hand, and a weird plastic helm of sorts.

“First off, where we’re you hiding that, you don't have a single pocket on you.”

“If I explained it to you, you’re brain would literally collapse upon itself.”

“Im guessing you are living with the result of such cerebral damage?”

“Naaa, I was okay because Pinkie Pie explained it to me at a party once. You should see the stuff she can do, it would drive you cray-cray!”

I was going to make some clever in joke aloud to myself, but considering this was Vinyl of all ponies warning me about the antics of another, I decided to take the words somberly to heart, and mentally promised my self to never see the pink terror again.

“Anyways, this stuff is sparing equipment! You use it to punch and pound on other ponies and not hurt em so much! And its clear that you're still pretty angry with me, so I thought the best way to let go of some of that stress, was to try giving me a few good ones here and there.”
My eyebrows couldn't help but furrow themselves as Vinyl’s own wiggled up and down on her forehead.

“Are you suggesting that I partake in a barbaric sport as a method of stress release?”

“Oh come on Tavi, we use to fight all those snooty Canter-colts back when we were fillies.”

“Some of us have actually grown up over the years, Vinyl, it would be a good idea for you to follow suit in that regard.”

“Oh come on, it’s totally like, theraputic, I read it in a book once!”

“The word is ‘therapeutic’, and as surprised i am to learn that you can in fact read, I'm going to have to decline.”

“OH come on Tavi, this is like, the longest we’ve held a conversation all week! You’ve obviously got beef with me, and right now you still aren't talking about it, so this is a good way to work out all that angst your building.”

I turned my head away, it still made me angry that Vinyl pretended not to know what she did to put me in this disposition. But still, its not like I didn't find appeal in the idea, The mental image of my fist colliding at rapid speeds with the ivory mares skull made my inner voice giggle like a school filly.

Hehehe, we should do it, she is handing us a chance to do her physical harm without retaliation!

You're a horrible pony…

...Hello Kettle, I’m Pot, accept her offer, or I'll use both of us to smack Vinyl upside the head.

Groaning is so unbecoming of a lady, but I hope you’ll excuse me given the circumstance.

“Alright, Vinyl Scratch, I accept your invitation to indulge in physical violence.”

Vinyl broke out in a happy little dance, wiggling her but with the most foalish of grins….Show off…

“Dont get too excited.” I cut her off. “I doubt that I will be able to even stand the act for more than twenty minutes, I am simply putting an end to this before it becomes a tool of constant nagging that I know you will wield with malicious intent.”

“I have no idea what you meant by that, but come on, let’s go get dressed for sparing!” Vinyl beamed. she dragged me along as my eyes did their best to catalog the patterns on the ceiling.


I am a musician, through both destiny and choice. Nothing in the world can elicit the same joy and excitement I feel when my fingers dance across a piano. Or match the emotional rush, the bursts of thoughts that come running to me when my body dances along with my violin. And nothing can even come close to the melancholical serenity that fills my every pore as I string my cello, and listen to its hauntingly beautiful melody.

But I will admit, launching Vinyl twenty feet through the air from a well placed roundhouse was a extremely close second.

The Ivory mare had come crashing down from the air with a less than graceful tumble on top of the padded floor. I quickly rushed to her side to check on her condition.

“IN. YOUR. FACE. VINYL!” I bent my knees and began pointing my fingers at her in rapid succession.

“You, as I believe the ponies say now a days, just got RUPTURED!” I exclaimed in triumph.

Grunting through her inevitable defeat, Vinyl began to speak.

“It’s ‘got wrecked’, and winning one time out of thirty isn't exactly wrecking somepony.”

Just couldn't let me bask in the glory could she? It was true though, we had been fighting for the past five hours. Most of the bouts we did where nothing more than me trying hopelessly to attack the surprisingly agile mare, She floats like a parasprite and stings like a Ursa. It probably didn't help that I had rather improper form most of the time, not use to partaking in such a barbaric display of power. Vinyl, after growing tired of so easily trouncing my flank, decided to teach me the proper technique and art to fighting.

“First you got to stand like this! and then when you punch, you kind of want to move like this!” she would say, demonstrating the motions. Vinyl has always been something of a idiot savant, being able to pick up and master the techniques of something she practiced, while never fully understanding the concepts or reasoning behind them. As I tried them out myself however, the intent was made bare to me, the efficient ways of moving, the preplanning and preparation to swiftly strike and counter attack a foe, it was almost akin to playing a simplified chess.

Where Vinyl has raw experience and practice, I have intellect and ingenuity on my side, along with being a six foot, four inch tall earth pony. It is only a matter of time before I may wield my advantages to their full extent, and dominate over the smaller mare, making this defeat the first of many she will suffer in the future from me.

At least that's what I told myself, it was quite clear that the filly was taking it easy on me. Didn't make the victory any less sweeter, but I will certainly continue to strive for a total victory in the near future.

We were both drenched in sweat, and breathing heavily, me more so than Vinyl. I bet that I was a sight to behold for any stallion right then, as my coat glistened with the new layer of perspiration. That and I noticed Vinyl taking a few inquisitive looks, she must have been envying my well balanced, feminine figure...or just looking at my boobs again…which had reminded me of something.

“Now that we've finally calmed down from this bout, I’m reminded to ask, how did you manage to get my measurements for a sports bra.”

“I worked at a lingerie store for a while as a side job for a few months when I was starting off on my own, so I'm good at guessing sizes. What you should really be asking is where did they get enough materials to make a bra so big-OOF!”

I threw my towel at her to cut her off, she simply continued to giggle like the little heathen I knew she was, And honestly, I found myself slightly laughing at the situation as well. Vinyl’s eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as she beamed at me.

“Ah! A laugh! so you do remember how to laugh still!”

“Of Course I know how to laugh, you foal.” I retorted a little more playfully than intended.

“Could have fooled me, I've gotten nothing but grunts and eye rolls out of you for the past week now.”

“That's because your actions are barely worthy of such things, let alone anything more. Though I will admit, this has been, as you put it, ‘therapeutic’.”

Even the voice inside my head had grew silent for a while now, It always does after being satisfied with the days events. It had left me a rare moment of clarity to begin mending bridges with the sporadic DJ.

“This does remind me of our childhood, how we would fight against that gang of ruffians?”

Vinyl’s crazy smile grew small and warm, as she started to travel down the road to her memories as well.

“Yeah…I remember those days pretty well...what was that asshat of a colts name again, the one who lead the whole crew of lil’ monkeys?”

“Bull Worth, that was his name, I was the only one around who was bigger than him. He always had it out for me because of that.”

“It didn't matter how many of those guys tried to gang up on us, we’d always have each others backs, us against the world! And we’d win too!” Vinyl chuckled.

“Yes, I suppose we made quite the dynamic duo, if we weren't getting ourselves into trouble, we certainly had our hands filled with dragging everyone else down into the mess we were in.”

My smile had slowly died as I reeled through the memories, for all the good times we had always, they always led back to what happened three years ago. I was still bitter about it, still hurt. Thinking back on it, Vinyl probably could give a good reason for what she had did, but I still couldn't bring myself to mention it, thinking about it sunk a pit into the bottom of my stomach, a dark hole where only sadness and anger could escape its pull.

The stars must have aligned themselves right then and there, because Vinyl, in a rare bout of understanding and wisdom, did not press me further on the subject of past events. She bounced to her feet, re-adjusted that goofy smile of hers, and walked over to drape a hand on me, waking me out of my own self-inflicted pity party. I wish I could say that the sweaty Vinyl smelled disgusting, but there is little use lying to myself in my mind.

“You know Tavi, we are two very attractive mares who are all hot and sweaty. I believe we’re supposed to go wash and play with each other in the shower, until it slowly degrades into hot lesbian fun times.”

My scowl reached a whole new level. “Vinyl, where in Equestria do you get such vulgar ideas for your jokes.”

“The Internet.” the DJ responded without missing a beat.

“How we as a species have managed to Cultivate such high percentages of imbeciles like you around in a day and age where such a vast accumulation of knowledge is on easy access is beyond me.”

“That's because it’s mostly used for porn and kitten videos.”

I shot her a look. “Oh gods, you're not joking are you.”


“Idiots….idiots the lot of you.”

I took Vinyl’s arm and shifted my weight over quickly, using my body leverage to swing the mare over my side and slam her down on her back, She bounced off the padded floor with a grunt, then giggled.

“Since I actually value cleanliness, I shall be occupying the showers first, be ready to use the rest of the day for rehearsal in two hours on the dot, don't be late.”

She bounced up yet again, and saluted me “Roger Roger.”

I sauntered off to make myself presentable for the remainder of the day, trying to pretend I didn't notice the giggling mare as I walked away.