Retirement Blues
By Alaborn
Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.
Chapter 5: Autumn
Gold Watch walked through the door of Sugarcube Corner, the little bell chiming. Cup Cake was at the counter, humming to herself as she stocked the case with fresh pastries. “Good morning to you, Gold Watch!” she greeted him.
Cup Cake’s joy was contagious. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked over the case. The scones looked tasty as ever. His eyes were drawn to the row of strawberry scones, next to the row of blueberry scones. They were drizzled with icing, as normal, but the icing was tinted with food coloring, pink and blue. That was the first time he had seen the bakery do that.
Gold Watch smiled. “I think that somepony has some wonderful news!”
“Oh, yes! We’re expecting!”
“Congratulations! When are you due?” Gold Watch asked.
“The middle of next summer,” Cup Cake replied.
“Have you thought about the foal?”
“Yes. I’m hoping for a filly. Carrot wants a colt. But most of all, we want her to be healthy.”
“You know, you could both be right.” Upon seeing Cup Cake’s confused expression, he clarified. “Twins?”
“Twins are such a rarity.” She smiled. “But wouldn’t that be something?”
“To celebrate, I think I’ll have twin scones. One blueberry and one strawberry, please.”
Cup Cake nodded and placed the pastries in a paper bag. Gold Watch paid and headed outside, looking to enjoy a quiet breakfast. He pulled out the two pastries, and lifted the blueberry one to his mouth.
“Daaaaad!”
Gold Watch gently lowered the scone. “Good morning, Colgate. Would you care to join me for breakfast?”
“Two scones, Dad?”
“It’s a special occasion. Don’t worry, I’m not going to eat both now.”
“You know I’m just worried about you, Dad,” Colgate said.
“I appreciate it, but I still feel fit as a fiddle. I could still be working now, you know.”
Colgate smiled. “If you’re confident about that, then perhaps you’d be up for a race? The Running of the Leaves is coming up.”
Gold Watch raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”
“Just a little run through the Whitetail Wood, to ready the forest for winter. I’m sure a fit stallion like you could beat little old me.”
“I’m glad we’re in agreement,” Gold Watch said. “When is the run?”
“This weekend,” Colgate replied.
Gold Watch replied with a confident smile, the kind he used when facing down criminal ponies in the interrogation room. Make them think you know you’re going to win, and they’re more likely to slip up. “I’ll do it.” But this time, he wasn’t sure if he had what it took.
Colgate nodded. “You missed an interesting show last night,” she said. “You should have been there.”
“But I thought you hated it when I pointed out just how the performer’s tricks worked,” Gold Watch said.
“You mean you didn’t hear?”
Gold Watch looked around. “It doesn’t look like anything happened.”
“There was an Ursa Minor in town. Let’s just say it wasn’t part of the show. Fortunately, it was a baby, and Twilight Sparkle was able to calm it and send it back to its mother.”
“That mare is something, isn’t she?”
“Yeah. Well, I’d better get to work. I’ll see you this weekend, Dad.”
“Have a good day, Colgate.”
Gold Watch wandered Ponyville. His natural pace was slower than he remembered. He wondered how he would be able to handle this run.
He didn’t know the first thing about the race, not even its length.
His hooves carried him to the market, where familiar faces greeted him. Stopping by the Goldens’ cart, he nodded to Golden Harvest. “How are you today?” he asked.
“Pretty good. Looking for some carrots?”
“I’ll take a bunch. So what’s this about a Running of the Leaves?”
Golden Harvest smiled as she exchanged a bunch of carrots for two bits. “Best time of the year!”
“I take it you’re a racer?”
“Every year!”
“Do you ever win?” Gold Watch asked.
“It’s not one of those races where anypony makes a big deal about who gets first. But I’m normally in the top ten. It helps that Big Mac doesn’t race.”
The red stallion at the apple cart nodded. “I’m not much into competin’, ma’am.”
Gold Watch mentally translated Golden Harvest’s response. No, she has never won. “How long is the race?” he asked.
“About six miles, give or take.”
Gold Watch winced. It had been years since he walked a beat, and he regularly rested long before reaching six miles. “I’m thinking of running with my daughter. I might be biting off more than I can chew, though.”
“Run, walk, who cares? It’s for fun. But the view is better when you’re in the front of the herd.”
“Most of the leaves will already be gone by the time an old stallion like me gets there?”
Golden Harvest stomped her hoof. Gold Watch could feel the vibration. “Yes, we do our job well.”
“Thanks for your advice, Golden Harvest. I think I’ll go for a little run myself.”
With the Running of the Leaves so soon, Gold Watch had little time to prepare. He couldn’t even get a letter off to Dawn Runner in Canterlot, looking for advice. All he could do was jog around town a few times. The aches in his legs from the first run were mostly gone, to be replaced with a dull throbbing and a pain in one knee.
To be honest, his only hope for beating his daughter was that dentists didn’t get a lot of exercise either.
The day of the Running of the Leaves was an ideal fall day. The morning’s temperature was crisp, but the clear skies promised that the sun would drive away the chill. There was only a slight breeze, just enough to make the leaves rustle.
A large crowd of ponies was milling on the edge of the forest. A hot air balloon hovered overhead. Gold Watch spotted Golden Harvest, talking to an unfamiliar earth pony mare with a cutie mark of linked horseshoes. The easy friendships the ponies of Ponyville enjoyed were a marked contrast to living in Canterlot.
While looking for Colgate, Gold Watch bumped into another mare. “Hello, Green Tea. Are you running today?”
“Me? Oh, dear Celestia, no. I’m just taking the opportunity to collect some herbs before the leaves fall.” She motioned to her saddlebags; leaves and branches poked out of the top. “Are you running?”
“Yeah.”
She wrinkled her muzzle. “You never struck me as a runner.”
“I’m just doing it to spend time with my daughter, and show her that I’m still fit and healthy,” Gold Watch said.
“Well, you two have fun. I’m just going to watch the race.”
Exactly ten minutes before the start time of the race, Colgate arrived, finding her father right away. “Hi, Dad!” she called.
“Ready to run?” he asked.
“Sure am!” Colgate stretched, but Gold Watch didn’t think her stretching looked anything like proper form. Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember much of what he learned from Dawn Runner, so he did his best to limber up.
“Now what?” Gold Watch asked.
“I think we get numbers soon.”
The crowd started murmuring and moving around. It looked like volunteers were passing around numbers, in a rather disorganized fashion. Colgate and Gold Watch waited until somepony approached, and they joined several other ponies in surrounding the volunteer. The unicorn levitated pairs of cloth squares with numbers painted on them. Gold Watch followed one of the pairs as it was pressed to his flanks. The corners of the cloth had patches with a material that felt like burrs. He twitched his flank as he tried to get used to the itchy feeling.
Gold Watch noticed something unusual, a pegasus (Rainbow Dash, if he recalled correctly) having her wings tied down. “What’s going on over there?” he asked Colgate.
“Some grudge match, I think. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are racing each other, and it wouldn’t be much of a race if she could fly.”
“It also wouldn’t do much to help get the leaves off the trees.”
It was several minutes past the start time of the Running of the Leaves when Mayor Mare attracted everypony’s attention. After a brief speech, the ponies pushed to the start line. From the balloon, a pink mare and dragon gave the traditional starting cue. “Get set, go!”
Gold Watch and Colgate took off, and soon found themselves near the back of the pack, outpacing only one pony, Twilight Sparkle. But from their position in back, they were evenly matched with each other. The path was already covered with leaves, and they crunched under their hooves.
“Ever see anything like this before, Dad?” Colgate asked.
“Not a lot of trees in Canterlot,” Gold Watch replied. “But I do remember one autumn trip, with my parents. I was probably eight years old. We went to Whinnypeg, and spent some time in a cabin out in the woods. It must have been just after they felled their leaves. Jumping into piles of leaves sure was fun.”
Surprisingly, the two ponies were about to pass Applejack. She was on her haunches, apparently after falling, and she looked none too happy about it.
“Look at that! We’re faster than Applejack!” Colgate said.
“Don’t count on it. I bet she tripped.” Gold Watch surveyed the trail, seeing potential hazards in roots, stumps, and rocks. It was even harder to notice them with the leaves on the ground.
Applejack ran past the two ponies, moving fast enough to create a noticeable breeze in her wake. “And there she goes,” Gold Watch said.
A few minutes later, Colgate called out, “Look, Dad! There’s a pile of leaves!”
But before he could even contemplate jumping in the leaves, the mound rose up, revealing Rainbow Dash, apparently another fall victim. “That’s why you don’t run for speed on a natural trail,” Gold Watch said. Back on the force, he picked up a few details about the special tracks runners raced on from Dawn Runner. And once again, the athletic pegasus soon passed the two not-so-athletic unicorns.
The runners left one wooded area, coming across a beautiful waterfall and stream. “Up ahead’s the Whitetail Wood proper,” Colgate said.
“I never suspected there was such beautiful scenery here,” Gold Watch observed.
“I’m kind of glad most of the ponies in Canterlot look down on Ponyville. Keeps places like this secret.”
Shortly after entering the Whitetail Wood, Gold Watch and Colgate spotted Rainbow Dash again. She was resting against a sign, but the way she was standing caught Gold Watch’s attention. Something about her body language was suspicious, reminding him of countless criminal suspects. But whatever she was doing, it almost certainly wasn’t illegal.
“Why is she standing there?” Colgate asked.
“I don’t know what she’s doing, but if she keeps doing it, even we are going to beat her.”
Just like before, Rainbow Dash passed them. And once again, Gold Watch and Colgate passed her further down the road. They were in a patch of maple trees, which somepony had tapped to collect their sweet sap, and Rainbow Dash’s hooves were stuck in a puddle of sticky sap. She pulled against the surprisingly elastic sap.
“Colgate, if you hear a whistling noise, I suggest ducking,” Gold Watch quipped.
Sure enough, Rainbow Dash soon flew overhead, flung by the recoil from the sap. They heard the sound of a scuffle up ahead. The forest was thinning, and Gold Watch spotted a colorful banner ahead. He wanted to comment about how it was a bad idea for Applejack and Rainbow Dash to start something so close to the finish line; it would allow everypony else to pass them. But he was breathing far too hard to say anything more than “Bad... idea.”
Gold Watch’s heart pounded. His legs burned, and a sharp pain in his side told him to just stop running. But he wasn’t going to lose to his daughter. He looked over, and saw she was similarly suffering. The large crowd of ponies they had been behind was beginning to spread out.
To add insult to injury, the one pony who had been consistently behind them, Twilight Sparkle, surged ahead of them. It looked like she had conserved her energy, and was pulling ahead of the many ponies like them who had been running all out.
As the finish line came into view, Gold Watch couldn’t even spare the energy to turn his head and check on his daughter’s position. He tapped into his reserves, telling himself there was a criminal up ahead that he needed to apprehend. His body wasn’t listening, however. He was nearly at a walk when he stumbled over the finish line.
He finally looked, and saw Colgate sprawled on the ground, panting heavily. Gold Watch forced himself to walk, remembering that that’s what a runner should do after a race to recover. He suspected his current movement resembled a zompony from a cheesy horror film. But until his breathing returned to normal, he didn’t care.
Finally, when he didn’t feel at imminent risk of collapsing, he walked over to one of the race volunteers. “How did I do?” he asked.
“Um, we’re really not sure. We stopped counting after eighth place, because we only have medals for first through eighth,” she replied.
“But did I beat Colgate?”
“Uhh... you kind of looked like you tied?” she replied sheepishly. “But at least you weren’t last.”
“Then who’s last?”
The pony pointed a hoof towards the finish line. A tumbling mess of orange and light blue rolled over the finish line. Applejack and Rainbow Dash started arguing with each other over who was first. They were so devoted to their individual competition that they didn’t notice everypony else was already there.
“Last!?” both exclaimed.
Gold Watch smiled and walked over to Colgate. “You feeling okay?” he asked.
“I’ve felt better,” Colgate wheezed.
Gold Watch knelt next to her. “I think we both could stand to get in better shape,” he said with a chuckle. Then he glanced upward. “Dear sweet Celestia,” he muttered.
Flying in from the direction of the Whitetail Wood was Equestria’s elder princess. She glided to the ground, landing near Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle.
Everypony bowed. Dear sweet Celestia, indeed.
Princess Celestia spoke with her little ponies. Judging by their condition and the way she motioned to the trees behind her, it was probably a gentle lecture about their behavior, and how it contributed to an incomplete Running of the Leaves. And just like that, she departed.
A few minutes later, Mayor Mare trotted up. She searched the crowd, a perplexed look on her face.
Gold Watch arose and walked over to the mayor. “I’m sorry; it looks like you just missed Princess Celestia.”
“But my speech, and the official paperwork!” she protested.
“I’m sure Princess Celestia has plenty to do, and only had time for the briefest of informal visits,” Gold Watch said. In fact, he wondered if she was looking for an excuse to avoid the mayor’s long speeches.
“Oh.” Mayor Mare looked crestfallen.
“But look at this way, Mayor. Out of all the towns in Equestria getting ready for winter, Princess Celestia chose to visit here. That’s got to be worth something, right?”
“I guess.”
“It was a nice race, and I’m glad I joined it this year,” Gold Watch said. “Have you ever thought about turning this into a real race?”
“Not really. What do you mean by a real race?” Mayor Mare asked.
“There would be some more organization, a few bits for prizes, a grouping of ponies by age, stuff like that.” Gold Watch was suddenly aware of how little attention he had paid to Dawn Runner. “Look, I know somepony you could talk to. Point being, an organized race would bring racers from across Equestria to participate.”
Mayor Mare placed a hoof on her chin. “We could use some tourism. I’d like for Ponyville to be known for something other than Nightmare Moon and monster attacks.”
“Good.”
“And Ponyville could still use a police chief.”
“Sorry, ma’am, I’m retired.”
The next day, Gold Watch walked slowly into Green Tea’s shop. “Good morning, Gold Watch!” she called.
“Good morning, Green Tea.”
“I have your order ready,” she said, holding a paper bag in her hoof.
“But I’m not out of coffee yet,” Gold Watch replied.
“I noticed you survived the run yesterday. How are you feeling today?” she asked.
“Stiff. Sore. I don’t think I’m going to do that again.”
“That’s why I put together this order. It’s willow bark tea, which is wonderful for soothing aches and pains. It’s my biggest seller after the Running of the Leaves.”
“I don’t know,” Gold Watch said hesitantly.
“I appreciate the company, Gold Watch, but once you said you’re hurting, I’m going to do something to help. I don’t want to leave one of my favorite customers in pain. If it helps, think of it as medicine, not tea. A medicine that’s perfect to sip on a chilly autumn day, hot and sweetened with a bit of molasses.”
“So now you’re dispensing medical advice without a license?” Gold Watch said with a smile. “I might have to arrest you for that.”
Green Tea smiled back. “Can’t. You’re retired, remember?”
Gold Watch placed some bits on the counter. “You drive a hard bargain, Green Tea. I’ll take your medicine,” he said, emphasizing the last word.
“Have a nice day!”
Gold Watch departed the tea and coffee shop. He had to admit, Green Tea saw through him. His sore muscles bothered him even more while sitting around, so he had walked into town. And he stopped in her shop because he just wanted a friendly face with whom he could complain about his aches and pains.
“Look at me. I really am becoming an old stallion,” he muttered.
But he had to admit it was nice that Green Tea was ready to help him.
Even if it meant drinking tea.