A mixture of happiness and sadness fill me as I recount the words and stare into Vinyl’s shocked eyes. My appearance must have shown the same amount of confused puzzlement. I didn’t think it would have been so anticlimactic, but I knew what I witnessed, and I knew what I felt. I had died once before. Feeling the same encasing cold grip that seizes one’s heart and lungs, squeezing out the air tortuously only supported the improbable. The truth of the situation is staggering that it saddens me that an alicorn had lost his life in such a way. The only upside is a calming state of mind, one that isn’t fractured between my savior and my body. The more I think about the idea of his gift, the more I believe that it is his own life force.
It gives me pause and lets my mind wander to places of existence that I have never truly considered. I live in the past and the present only, always fearing the future, but now, I don’t feel the pressure of time collapsing on my shoulders. I feel free.
“Tavi? Why are you smiling?” Vinyl’s voice breaks the silence.
My eyes snap open as I slowly realize that I am, indeed, smiling and staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t know…” I can only say as my eyes lower back to the floor, a feeling of shame burning inside my chest and cheeks.
“Why would she kill him? Are you sure he died?” Vinyl’s hooves slowly clop on the wooden floor as she paces the room in thought, the weight of the questions falling down on her.
I watch her carefully, unable to speak or give any insight into the matter for I hold the same questions. Seeing as I was inside of his head when it happened would only mean that I am the best source of information for this event, but instead, I am at more of a loss than Vinyl. The threads that he has spun and the web that had formed are far too complex for such a simple death, unless his death is a part to the plan. Nothing ever made sense with Eyn, and even with his passing, the riddle persists.
What was his original plan? What was he trying achieve with storming Canterlot, killing guards and picking the lock to the castle then to just die in a pitiful mess in some back alley? When standing in front of me, he would hold himself up high and stand confidently, but being inside of his mind, the doubt and weakness were clear. Something inside of him didn’t click. It never clicked. Maybe he didn’t have a plan. Maybe he wanted her to finally kill him and end his sadness. His sadness…
It is only now, away from the fear, no other thoughts except my own careful reflection, that I notice the loneliness, the sadness, and the pain. At some point, his heart had been broken, though broken to a point of devastation. I wanted to understand why, but I could feel his passing. I couldn’t re-enter his mind, ask him questions. I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for a murderer and an escaped convict.
“You’ve had your strange and sort of convenient mind link with Eyn, you must know what he is doing.” Vinyl turns her attention on me.
“It wasn’t quite a mind link, but more of a viewing. I only saw what he saw and listened to his thoughts, though he kept his blind blank most of the time. The last thing I felt in him was panic and fear.” I look around the room. I want to drive the thoughts out of my throbbing mind. My cello glistened in the corner. The warm shimmer warmed the room and helped my eyes relax. “We should practice and leave this behind us. One less thing to worry about.” I trot to my cello, grabbing the bow and rising to my feet.
My body is stiff, but not from my sore ribs, but from sleeping on the floor. They move slowly and deliberately as muscles stretched and creaked. Rolling my shoulders helped ease the pain as a few pops snapped from them. It has been too long, cello. I ease the bow to the side, letting the bow ease its way across the string, letting the old thing sing to the room. The low note drowns out Vinyl’s questioning and the world around me. Shutting my eyes, I am lost to the world and completely myself again, a swarm of notes swimming over me.
The vibrations ripple through the bow and into my hoof as the air shifts around my ears. The physical sensation of music inspires notes and bends. I play without worry, playing my entire written song by memory. Slowly, I feel the pounding of my heart against my chest. Smiling, my eyes open to the sight of Vinyl, mixing music on the spot. It hits at me randomly, off beat and probing of the style. Vinyl listens and adapts as I continue through the song. No ground is made except for Vinyl grumbling at her mixers.
“You’ll get it…” I speak after I finish the first movement.
“Of course I will, you’ve dropped a bombshell of a song on me. I almost wanted to just sit back and enjoy your music, throw some roses after you finished and scream for your autograph.” She chuckles.
“I’m sure fans of your music demand plenty of autographs and throw flowers for you.” I know I am wrong, but I enjoy teasing her.
“Are you kidding?” I can tell she knows that I am teasing her. “I’m thrown glow sticks and clothes. If you mean autograph as in asking if I would lick their horns, then I’m asked for autographs all the time.”
“Any pretty unicorns that have been graced with your ‘autographs’?” I tease, feeling only slightly jealous.
She smiles, making sure to stare me directly in the eyes. “Plenty of them.” She winks.
I blush, though it is completely unintentional. I guess I am more than just a little jealous of her having ‘pretty unicorns’, and now she is stuck with a plain Earth Pony. Not much in regard to interesting methods of pleasing. I don’t have a horn to lick or wings to stroke. I’m old fashioned and filled with strength and endurance, a harder mare to please than most. I saw the same comparison between Lyra and Bonbon. A few times when Vinyl worked late, Lyra and Bonbon would come over and we would chat at the table, drinking wine and apple cider, sometimes getting a bit tipsy. One night, the alcohol opened their mouths more than any other time. Sex became the subject as much as I felt uncomfortable about it. Even Lyra blushed on a number of occasions as Bonbon told stories. I felt myself blushing as well at some points. I never knew a unicorn’s horn could be sensitive at all, but how Lyra described it, in her own joking way, it felt magical.
It ran through my mind. Touching Vinyl’s horn in such a way is too much in this point in time. I couldn’t do that. We were still a fresh couple, just now kissing and hugging. Sexual intimacy was at the bottom of my list of priorities and things to do. Even after the concert, I wouldn’t be able to do anything more than just give her a small peck on the lips, maybe drink again to celebrate, simple things that I’ve always done with my past lovers. I could sense the fear within me of the next step forward, one that I never experienced. I’ve cuddled, hugged, kissed, and slept next to others, but to truly go beyond that felt too overwhelming. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to drive my thoughts out.
“I really need to get a shower…” We can practice later.
Everything is off. I let my mind wander too far and now I am retreating from my thoughts before I visibly show it. I should have showered before I even played the cello. It requires enough of my effort not to hit my hoof against my forehead.
“As do I.” She trots toward the door, matching my speed.
“I need to get a shower.” I reaffirm. “I get to go first.”
“You? But I am closer to the door?” Vinyl’s pace briefly jumps forward, but that was enough to initiate the race.
Running with the strength of my earth pony relatives, I manage to recover the distance between the two of us. The look in her eyes at how fast I can be is priceless causing me to smile as I pass her out the door and down the stairs. I can feel the warm bath, until I see a blue streak slide past me on the railing.
“Bye, Tavi.” She waves to me. The nerve…
I speed up more, jumping over the railing at the ending, cutting the distance again. The bathroom is in range and just a hop, skip, and jump away. I jump for it as I see Vinyl sliding on the ground, catching the rug with her magic, using it to surf through the door. She slides on her back looking up at me as I leap. Another look of amazed panic crosses her eyes just as it crosses mine. Judging by how close we were, it would clearly be a photo finish, but another realization emerged. I did not have time to even think it before it happens.
I land on top of Vinyl as we slide through the door, the corner of the rug slamming the door shut. The soft glow of the small window nearby cast the room in a dim lighting. I can only just see Vinyl’s eyes shimmer in the darkness, her body below me. Sweat drips down my face as I try to catch my breath through the lump in my throat.
“I guess… it’s a tie?” Vinyl asks.
Her breath hits my nose. “I guess so…”
“So…?”
“So… what?” I ask.
“I guess we share?” I wanted to smirk at the excuse.
“I guess so…” It wasn’t the first time we had bathed with the other in a room, though we never really bathed together. It scared me like the other thoughts of us becoming intimate and more of lovers than just experimenting mares. It deserves a gulp, which I give.
“I scrub your back, you scrub mine.” She continues, trying to escape me hovering over her. I stiffly move off of her, sensing the creeping awkwardness of the situation. Vinyl doesn’t seem to be as frightened about our courtships as I am. I wonder if I am worrying for nothing. Maybe I need to roll with it, but the more I think about it the more my personality disagrees. I want this relationship to work, and I want it to flourish. Rushing this will only cause it to fail.
“Sure.” I smile at her.
The water is turned on letting steam slowly satiate the room. I step in first, letting the water take my leg and massage out my muscles. I slide into the water with a heavy sigh of relaxation, closing my eyes and forgetting the world around me. Then, the water ripples as Vinyl slides herself in, slightly less graceful than my picky approach. She stays on her side of the tub.
“This feels nice.” She says.
I didn’t know exactly what she meant, the water or the fact that our back legs were touching. Either way, I had to agree. “It feels fantastic.” The water soothed every part of my body, including the area under the wrappings on my left flank. It would be nice to finally get it off and have some moments in the spa to treat myself for being alive.
We relax in the water, forgetting about the cleaning portion of the bath. The best cure to a hangover is to soak in the water, and Vinyl shares the same view. It takes only a few minutes before the water shifts again, drawing my attention to the blue-haired mare. She nears me, her horn glowing as a bottle of soap approached.
“Let’s get you cleaned up shall we?”
I move obediently, letting her get to my back. The massaging touch of her hooves rubbing my back quickly follows the cold sensation of the soap. I relax, leaning forwards and resting my head on the outside of the tub. It’s wonderful. I shiver as she moves along my sore shoulders and back. Slowly, her hooves begin to descend down my back causing my heart to race. I would have never let a stallion get this far with me after such a short time of dating, but the mere fact that we are both mares, I assumed no trouble from it. Then again, I feel as if I should cause trouble.
Her hooves stop at my flanks, slowly massaging them before they rise off of them, arriving back to my shoulders. She must be slightly nervous as her motions and presses are stiff. No pony could blame her. We had been roommates for a few years and now we kiss and have romantic encounters. I felt the same degree of confusion and nervousness from it. Instead of stopping at my shoulders, she moves further up my back, letting her front side meet my backside. I admit, it felt arousing, and I enjoy her closeness, but my mind knows it is too early in our relationship for anything more though I let my mind drift off to the dirtier of places to see how my mind would interpret it.
She leans in close, hugging me close, her head coming over my shoulder as I stare at her nervously. Her horn was only a few centimeters from my face. I wonder if she wanted me to try it. Would it be a violation to her personal space? No, I must not rush this. I will wait. Instead, I press my head against hers. The fur on her face softly brushes against my face and I feel the connection that had been slowly growing between us spark between our hairs.
“I guess you need to get on your stomach now.” Being unsure of myself and unsure of all my actions quickly began to sink in.
“Of course…” Her tone is much softer than usual, her eyes closed, and her body moving slowly, remaining close to mine. I couldn’t help, but let the heat in my cheeks transform them red. As she left my back and moved to the other side of the tub, the sensation of missing her closeness quickly evolved.
I transition slightly quicker than I desired leading to me bumping into her. Getting my hooves on the soap, I lather it on her back, the white foam and smell of wet fur filling the air. It had been one of the few times that I could touch her muscles. I never knew they were as tight and firm as they were. The idea of the short times that I’ve raved versus knowing she had to do this as a job to be paid while I am out of commission echoes in my head. She works hard, even if it’s for parties. I almost chuckle. She should have been Pinkie’s sister, not me.
“That’s the spot.” She groans.
I can feel a tough section in her muscles. Instead of bathing her, I find myself massaging out her soar muscles. I would have felt like a slave, but feeling her muscles twitch and respond to my touch along with the sounds escaping her mouth, it makes me love her more. I want to try what Vinyl did to me and hug her, closing the gap between our bodies, but my nerves cause me to hesitate. You know you want it. I could hear his voice, and he drove me further.
I massaged her shoulders as the anticipation of my body meeting hers caused my heart to pummel my chest. When we touched, I felt at home, giving her a similar embrace that she had given me. We both close our eyes at the feeling, her smile moves along my cheek, telling of her happiness. “Your heart is beating so fast, Tavi.” She sighs.
“I’m lucky that I could even do this. I have to thank him for that.” I respond, recollecting how Eyn had only helped me and had never harmed me in anyway. I felt sorrow for him.
“Who’s him?” She asks.
It is almost strange to say his name in this environment, but I say it anyway.
The room tightens slightly at the name, but Vinyl catches herself. “I wonder what he did to deserve a death sentence.”
“I don’t know…” I wish I saw him earlier, see his demise. I wonder where he went wrong. Such a meticulous planner but he did something wrong to ruin it?
His death is too unreal for me to believe though I am compelled to do such. I knew what I witnessed. His life left his body. I hold Vinyl closer, her body shifts under mine. It manages a small smile from me, but a festering curiosity prickles within my mind causing me to drive a wall between the feelings of attraction. An uneasiness results from the mixed feelings causing me to just bury my head in Vinyl’s shoulder and breath slowly. I see her smile on the side of her face. I am lucky to have such a mare as Vinyl, one that manages to smile through the thick of everything, no matter the loss.
I remember when I walked out of the woods and travelled home. She had set up a whole camping set in the living room like we used to have. The overwhelming force of happiness took over my mind as the loss of blood began to tear my consciousness away from the moment. I woke up an unknown amount of time later, laying in a hospital bed, my encrusted bow still tied around my neck, a fair helping of bandages constricting my body and a headache that could crack glass. Vinyl was asleep at my side, Eyn standing in the middle of the room, merely a ghost. He was just an illusion of my drugged my mind. I wanted to thank him, but seeing him start to cry, the tears welling in his eyes, I stared in confusion.
His form shook as he stared at me, though it wasn’t quite toward me, but more through me. Other ghostly figures joined in around him as I observe the details of him. I assumed he had his robes and metal legs and wings, but were of a much younger, still healthy Eyn. He collapsed just as a flood of images formed in the room right before I passed out again from the next does of painkillers, passing it off as a hallucination. To see him that way, my emotions plummeted, but as I slide back down into the water, the feeling of Vinyl underneath of me anchors my mind. Love held my pity from stretching out to Eyn. Love held my sadness for him as well. Selfishness ran deep, but I wouldn’t let myself fall now, not with Vinyl with me.
We exit the water as slowly as we had entered, not because of the air chilling our skin, but from our own carefulness in treating the other. Vinyl exits first, grabbing the towel before she drips on the floor, extending a second for me to take. I let it fall onto my hooves before wiping off my face and drying out my mane. My mane sits flat on my head and unspectacular though some simple grooming and combs easily mends the situation to better suit my demands to such a higher order of appearance. Being picky with my appearance wasn’t new to me though it never bothered me as well. I didn’t let it influence or change my relationships with friends or Vinyl. I am picky, not petty.
Practice proceeded as we had planned it, not even a mention of our bath together. I think the concept of it all was still fresh in our minds. I am set in a thoughtful mood while Vinyl is filled with more smiles, sticking her tongue out at me playfully as we conduct our music. We quickly harmonize into our usual sequences that we treasured when we were simply roommates. Then we hit the verse that I had imagined to be a soft build-up for Vinyl as I performed my own build, but instead I head her build the sound up immediately, forcing me to play louder. Irritation is all I that passes through my twitching eyebrow as she again pushed the bass up, ruining the harmony.
“Vinyl? You’re meant to die out there.”
“I didn’t know you were a DJ.” Something is irritating her though her biting words only crack my fragile nerves.
“I don’t want any of your stubbornness.” I retort.
“My stubbornness? What about you?” She laughs at me.
The moment she laughs, I want to storm out, but my mind quickly catches up with what is happening. Why are we fighting each other?
My composure quickly returns as I look at her softly. “Are you worried?” I ask.
“About Eyn or the concert?” She asks, turning away from me.
“Both.”
“You too?”
“Yep.”
We sit in silence at how quickly those two subjects had cracked us. I couldn’t believe I had snapped as I did at Vinyl. I wanted to apologize immediately after catching myself committing the sins, but such a noble action never escapes my lips. Instead, I jump onto the couch and lay down, staring at the setting sun. The oranges play off the sky sweeping into the fringes of purple and blue. I am always one for sunsets and sunrises. It clears my head and softly Vinyl joins my company.
“Can you believe it?” She asks, staring at the sunset, her eyes hidden behind her sunglasses.
“Believe what?” I ask.
“Us. Everything feels the same except now there is more tension between us.”
“We’ve also been a lot closer in proximity.” I chuckle, which she joins in on the observation.
“I guess.” She chortles. “Everything feels like the same, yet different, you know what I mean?” Her words play against my eardrums. The white unicorn’s words are filled with a truth that has nagged me through the day. It makes me want to smile, but I can’t do it.
“Yeah… but I like it this way.” The words cause my heart to leap and flutter. Verbally expressing myself to her is much different than simply being close and feeling her, now it’s my head speaking.
I hear her hum as she hops off of the couch and clop onto the floor. “You want to get some muffins before the bakery closes?”
I jump from the couch as well. “I need to head to the doctor’s before the sun completely sets and have these blasted stitches removed.” I wasn’t looking forward to seeing the scar that the large cut would leave behind, but I figured it would heal eventually. There are always some cosmetic magic and little visits to the spa to correct everything.
“I’ll stay here and get the right rhythm for my music to blend perfectly with your tempo. Pick up some muffins when you come back?” She worked some of the knobs on her turntables. “Let’s see if the healing prevented any gnarly scars.” She chuckles.
I glare at her. I know she is trying to make light of the situation like she always tries to do, but the thought of large scars torn across my flanks grinds at me. The street outside is beginning to dim. The streetlights are being lit with a soft breeze greeting my face. I turn back into the door and grab my scarf, wrapping it around my neck the best I could, stepping back out into the nippy air. The snow crunches beneath my hooves as I walk toward the hospital, feeling the darkness more as a safety net slowly being cast over me. I had never liked the darkness, yet now it felt relaxing and beautiful as the purples overtook the orange hues of the sky.
By the time I arrive at the hospital, it is around my appointment time at late afternoon. Entering the main lobby, I am greeted by the doctor almost immediately, ushering me into one of the rooms, not in a rush, but more out of respect or courtesy.
“Sit right here, Lady Octavia. I will be with you shortly to remove the stitches.” He trots off to a few other patients wrapped in various bandages, though most of the beds were empty.
“Lady Octavia.” It rolled off my lips as I repeated it. It had been a long time that I had been greeted with such a Canterlot greeting. Hearing the words again causes a stirring of pride that only bolsters my confidence in the concert that is planned.
I sit in the room, my flanks slightly itching from the bandages that I couldn’t wait to have removed. The silence in the room is deafening. It almost makes me wish that Vinyl could be here to keep me company or at least provide some noise that I could ignore. I try to relax and think of other things to get off the idea of time passing. The clock only increases in volume, ticking inside of my head.
“Lady Octavia?” I jump from the break in the silence. “Shall I begin?” He walks over, scissors and some gauze ready for cleaning anything left over.
I sigh. “Sure.” I lay on the doctor’s table. I rotate my body onto its side and raise my leg where the bandages resided. I felt heat intensify in my cheeks. Such a position felt revealing, though having other bodily health functions checked regularly helped null the embarrassment.
“Here we go.” The sound of the scissors crunching into the bandages helps with my lack of focus and, as the air graces my leg that had been wrapped, I sigh with relief and stretch my leg.
“Oh my…” He speaks in more of a fascination than concern. Amused?
“Is the scar bad?” I ask.
“It’s…” He loses his words. “Well look at it yourself.”
I hop from the table and walk to the full body mirror in the corner, turning to the side to see the damage. My heart sinks and jumps, squirming as my eyes widen. My breath runs away. On the side of my flank was a circular shape with a wavy line down the middle. Inside the circle were two puncture wounds on each side. One colored in by my treble cleft cutie mark. A Ying Yang had been carved into my side, a scar representation of Eyn’s cutie mark.
It’s just you making that by expecting it. It isn’t what you think it is. You are just seeing things. Focus Octavia. Breathe Octavia, breathe.
“You like it?” I heard the doctor ask.
“What the h-“ I turn around to see the doctor, his eyes glazed over with white that shined through the room. Darkness invaded the edges of my eyes as they began to tunnel vision. My heart races with fear and shock. I back up slowly, hitting the mirror unable to turn my vision away from the doctor.
“How…? But…?” I stammer.
He smiles. He stands in the center of the room smiling at me. I hate every bit of his white eyes at the same time I pity him. How can something so wretched as him deserve such pity from me?
“I’m an idea. Ideas are powerful. Ideas can move mountains. Ideas can break a monarchy and overthrow a kingdom.”
“Why? Why do you want to do that?” I manage a coherent sentence amid my wavering nerves.
He slowly advances toward me like the menacing walk that one sees in any pony horror film. The moment where everything is revealed, and a knife is lodged into his or her chest. They serve his or her purpose, whatever that is, and then the villain disposes of the dead weight. Mere inches from my face, I could feel his breath playing on my hair. I stare at him defiantly though my insides squirm with fear.
“Let me show you…” He leans forward.
I imagine the knife sinking into my chest, the feeling of life escaping my body. Maybe he wants to take his gift back. I can’t stand my own thoughts anymore and I slam my eyes shut, unable to face my murderer.
My eyes snap open in shock as his lips move around mine as he kisses me. Slowly, he pushes me backward against the mirror. My backside falling into a seated position, yet he still pushes his mouth into mine. I wanted to turn away, get the vile saliva out of my mouth when a jolt of something shot through my spine. My eyes dimmed. The room began to dissolve as his lips shifted. It felt the same way when I had kissed Vinyl. Love? It couldn’t be.
The feeling only intensifies, as I no longer feel him against me. Instead, I feel like I am moving. Eventually, I discover the courage to open my eyes again only to discover the Canterlot Palace. I am standing at the foot of the staircase.
I glance around, but there is no pony around, everything is quiet. Everything seems smaller as well. I look down and my heart, once again, stops as I see long gray slender hooves garnered in fine jewelry. I slowly realize that I am not in control of what I see, another moment of living in another’s body.
“Eyn Spyyr? I haven’t seen you in a long time.” Came the voice of a familiar alicorn.
“Luna. It is an honor to finally be graced by your castle. It is more, decorated than the one in the North Provinces.” Eyn speaks with such softness and grace that I, at first, don’t recognize him.
“How goes the North?” She asks.
“Our front is holding, but the attacks by the griffons are becoming an issue. My father wants to try and form a peace treaty, but they ask for too much. We’ve tried our best to reason with Fawkes, but diplomacy has only drug this war out longer than it had to be.” Eyn shakes his head, looking around the room.
His body is fresh and new, rising with the power of youth and strength. Both of his legs clopped on the ground as his strong wings flap with disdain. There was no damage on him, no wounds to speak of, even his eyes moved around the room, focusing on different objects, but mainly they focused on Princess Luna.
“Eyn, you made it here safely.” A younger Celestia spoke.
At the top of the stairs, Celestia stares down with a grin on her face. She flies gracefully down the ornate ascension, still larger than Luna and Eyn, but only slightly more on Eyn. Eyn stares into her eyes, smiling and holding his cordial nature.
“Yes, through the mountains and passed the dragon crater. Plenty of close calls, but the journey went adequately.” He smiles charmingly and Celestia giggles.
Mortal enemies? I don’t see it.
“Come let us show you around.” Luna responds, stepping up to his side.
“You’ve got a sweet sister.” Eyn admits to Celestia.
“She’s just two years younger than you, and mother has already said that she would be in charge of the moon whenever she finishes her magic studies.” Celestia responds, looking at her sister with a love that only two sisters could share.
“And that is why I am here? To tutor?” He doesn’t sound offended, but intrigued by the matter.
“Correct, along with enjoying the company of two lovely princesses.” Celestia winks.
“I can’t argue with that. Just let me grab the rest of my things and we can begin the tour and your studies.” Eyn pokes fun at Luna. She grumbles, but tosses him a smile. He winks in response, a gesture that Celestia misses.
The world dissolves as he turns away toward the door. It transforms itself into a door that I know all too well. I’m home.
I blink a few times as I let everything set in. My scarf is around my neck, the season is still winter, and the moon is high in the sky. I even find a box of muffins at my feet, still warm to the touch with a receipt of only a few minutes ago. Everything is normal except my memory. Eyn is still alive. Of course he is still alive, but why would he feign his death like that? What would he have gained from it? I gave up the thought as I opened the door to reveal Vinyl trying to walk quietly in her blue socks and white night cap. Her goofy way of sleeping had always entertained me, and this was no exception. Her hair is flat for once, washed clean of the gel and hairspray. It moves in the breeze from the door, something that is such a rarity that I wish that I could record it.
“How did it go?”