//------------------------------//
// them bones 
// Story: when slenderman left me in paradise 
// by Jimbob 
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[Knight]

{Me}

“What strange creature is this that I see? Lying on a couch before me” Rhyming, WHY IS RHYMING WAKING ME UP!?
I mumbled incoherently and swiped the air towards the voice. 

“The creature must wish to sleep, but I have appointments I must keep.” THE RYHMING, WHY!? 

I groaned and dragged myself off the couch; I looked down and saw a zebra with a Mohawk staring back.

“Morning zebra-pony, you can call me Jake.” I stretched my back and heard a loud series of cracking. I sighed contently until I saw the concerned look on Zecora face. 

“Sorry human thing”

“Do not worry for my sake, Twilight said you had something to tell me Jake?” 

[How the fuck does she some up with rhymes so fast?]

{I don’t know it’s kinda creepy, if she was chanting over a boiling cauldron I’d be running}

“Umm yeah I may have acquired a large amount of Timberwolves bones, and I was wondering if they could be put to use.” 

“Those bones are hard to find, but the cost of them leaves me in quite the bind.”

“Right, so would I be correct to assume that mean you can’t afford to buy them?” she nodded.

“Luckily for you I don’t want bits, but I would like some potions to fix my arm.” She walked up to me and studied my arm.

“A potion for your arm I can make, but the pain you’ll feel is not fake.” THE RHYMING, HOW?!

“Pain I can deal with, but not using my arm is annoying as hell. Now I’ll take you to go get the bones for the potion, deal?”

“Those bones for a potion doesn’t not seem right, but if you insist I will not fight.”

“Well if you don’t use them than they’ll just rot away and I’d rather have them put to use.” She nodded knowingly.

“If you don’t want sacrifice to go to waste then we must leave now with great haste.”

{Great now no breakfast}

[I WAS PROMISED MUFFINS BITCH!]

{We’ll get them later}

“Okay I’ll meet you outside Miss…?”

“Oh how rude of me, my name is Zecora a zebra as you see.”

“Very well Zecora I’ll be out in a sec” she nodded and stepped outside. I stepped into the kitchen to find Twilight eating a bowl of oatmeal. Ugh oatmeal, all the discomfort of eating lumpy slime with none of the interesting tastes.

“Hey Twi I’m gonna take Zecora to go get the bones, I’ll be back hopefully around noon or so, except that I don’t have a watch….. Meh I’ll be back soon enough”

I reached over and gave Twilight a peck on the cheek she blushed, furiously I might add.

“You better come back Jake or I’ll come out there for you.” Yeah she probably would come out there to hunt me down, luckily I didn’t think I would have any wolves to worry about maybe some scavengers but that’s about it.

“Will do Twi” I grabbed an apple on my way out and hungrily chomped into it. The sun was still pretty low in the sky when I got outside.

{It must be six in the morning why am I awake so early? Hell, why is Twi awake so early?}

[Listen I know your stupid, but did you really forget the rhyming zebra already? Because trust me when I say that rhyming zebras are not an every day thing.]

{Touché} 

“All right Zecora let’s roll” she looked at me strangely, shrugged and fell in line behind me. My house was probably a five minute walk from here and I enjoyed the comfortable silence between us. I have had enough rhyming for the day thank you very much.

When I got there I got my first good look at my house in the light. It looked like it could have easily withstood an air strike. I looked around the yard and saw dozens of vultures picking away at wolves carcasses. We walked over towards them and the vultures shot off in the air. The strange thing was Zecora didn’t even seem phased by the abundant amounts of death.

“Zecora I can’t help but notice you’re not freaking out about the dozens of dead Timberwolves” 

“When you live in the Everfree, death is an everyday thing you see.”

“Ahh ok, well you point out the bones you want and I’ll get them for you” I unsheathed my sword and began to hack away at the limbs she pointed out. It was slow going but the plus side was all the sap appeared to have dried out and wasn’t getting all over me. The sun was nearly overhead by the time we finished and my stomach was beginning to growl again and we began to head back towards town.

“So Zecora what kinda potions can those be used for?”

“These bones can be used for many things, from kidney stone to bee stings.”

“So basically they’re a cure all when mixed with certain things?”  She nodded.

[So why didn’t we just gnaw on the bones?]

{SUUURREEE that’s a great idea, gnaw on the bone that found on the ground, what could possibly go wrong?}

[Shut-up]

We had made it back to town and I was about to part ways with Zecora.

“Okay Zecora when can I stop by for this potions of yours?” she rubbed her chin with her hoof.

“This potion in not too strong, I don’t believe it will take me long.”

“Riiigghhht I’ll stop by tonight, okay?” she nodded and started heading down the road. I headed back towards the library to grab some lunch. I walked in and saw Twilight reading a book and Spike putting books back on shelves.

“Hey guys.” Twilight didn’t even look up from the book.

“Hey Jake.” At least Spike noticed me, sigh. 

“Twilight” I was wiggling my fingers all but in front of her face. No reaction.

“Spike little help here.” He chuckled at my attempts to get Twi’s attention.

“When Twilight finds a good book you can forget about talking to her.” I have an idea, a evil brilliant idea.

“Tell me Spike is there a firework shop around here?” Spike grinned as he saw where I was going with this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spike and I were on our way back from the firework shop, ran by a surprisingly nice stallion known as Sky Flower, which had a large amount of explosive fireworks that made earth’s M-80 look like sparklers. I had basically bought anything that promised a boom and had a rather large bag, I wasn’t planning on using them all but I do so love explosives. We were passing Sugarcube corner when my stomach decide to remind me that I was an evil bastard that still refused to feed him.

“Hold up Spike let grab something to eat.” I figured the best way to get Twilight to forgive me after this was delicious baked goods.

“Ok” I wasn’t exactly expecting an argument from him. We walked in and I was assaulted by many wonderful smells.

“Oh hi Jakey!” Pinkie was standing behind the counter that was overflowing with cupcakes.

“Hey Pinkie, what you got in stock in the way of muffins?” she giggled and pulled out a box with a large amount of muffins in it.

“I suggest this it has lots of blueberry and banana nut muffins in it, I made it just for you so you can give Twilight the banana nut muffins so she’ll forgive you!”

[So fucking creepy]

{Yeah but hey muffins!}

“Sounds great Pinkie! Spike see anything you want?” he had and it was a rather large cupcake with enough sprinkles to block out the icing’s original color.

“Alright then Pinkie how much do I owe you?” Spike was drooling profusely while I was reaching into a nearby shadow.

“Twenty-eight bits please!” Pinkie was bouncing up and down and I was beginning to wonder just how many cupcakes she had eaten today.

“Oh Jakey I only had twelve so far!” Spike looked at me confused as I pulled out a fifty-bit piece.

“Twelve huh? I had you pegged for at least sixteen.” I handed her the bits and grabbed my box.

“Keep the change Pinkie; just make sure you save some blueberry muffins for me!”

“Okey dokey lokie!” Spike and I headed out the door with him already almost done with his cupcake. I bit into a muffin, this was going to be fun.


A/N: Man writing for Zecora is tough