Spike opened the door to the conference room and held it open for his friend. All around foals danced at their own pace with their crushes or their friends. The song playing was light hearted and seemed to fit the atmosphere that the foals brought with them. There was punch and cookies by the door. One of the two D.Js cheered as she watched the dance progress. “Wooooo! Snail Colt! Work it!” The white one called to Snails.
Nopony could tell exactly what Snails was doing; some thought he was having a seizure, others thought it was awesome, while other colts like Snips were starting to become envious that Snails was earning praise from D.J. Pon-3 herself.
Spike began to relax a little bit. The dance wasn’t some huge date, but rather a small get together for friends. Spike led Sweetie Belle to an empty section of the dance floor and released her leg. The two began to dance, joining the other foals in their revelry. For a single moment, since the start of the week, it seemed like everypony was happy.
Well, not everypony. Diamond Tiara was still angry from the conversation she had with Apple Bloom earlier that night. Silver Spoon stood by her, trying to get her to have some fun, but failed. Diamond Tiara’s attitude only worsened as she saw Apple Bloom and Scootaloo walking towards her. She scowled and prepared for the teasing that would soon ensue.
When the pair reached them, Apple Bloom was the first to speak. “We want a real truce,” she quickly stated.
“Wait, what?” Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara asked in unison.
“Apple Bloom, what are you saying?” Scootaloo asked. “We have a way to make fun of Diamond Tiara. Sure, it’s stupid and childish, but we get make fun of her! We’d have to be crazy not to take this!”
“Plus, we already have a truce!” Silver Spoon added.
“True on both accounts,” Apple Bloom nodded. “But if ya hadn’t noticed, this entire week has been crazy and the truce we have right now, that’s just what we do normally. ‘Sides, did that plan of yers go anywhere? Ah don’t see none of them fillies from that unicorn school here.”
“Well, I thought things went well, but Diamond Tiara said the fillies were lamer than you guys,” Silver Spoon shrugged.
“That right there, crazy! This has been one big crazy, nonsensical week fer everypony! Diamond said that fillies with cutie marks were lamer then us! Then she gave friendship advice to Scoots! The class assaulted the darn military and got away with it, and Sweetie Belle didn’t get in trouble fer the entire week! So fer tonight, let’s just go with it! Let’s do the most crazy thing we can do, and act civil. We pretend that there is no hatchet at all, just fer tonight. When we get back to Ponyville, then we can will the hatchets back into existence, and start trying to kill each other again. Deal?”
There were low murmurs, but all three fillies reluctantly agreed.
“Good,” Apple Bloom smiled. “Now, since that’s taken care of, Scoots, Diamond Tiara, show each other one sign of kindness.”
“… You were .001% as awesome as Rainbow Dash for what you said today,” Scootaloo said, looking away from Diamond Tiara.
“You are not that worthless for a four legged chicken,” Diamond responded.
“That’s as good as we’re gonna get,” Apple Bloom stated.
Button Mash laid in his bed, his cheeks still stained with tears. “I don’t get it, Rumble. I loved Sweetie Belle since I first saw her; I still remember the day we first met, exactly as it happened.”
It happened little over a year ago. Some dragon had just moved into town, and no girl outside his family had even considered talking to Button Mash, until today. “Button Mash, you have some jam on your face,” Sweetie Belle said as she passed the gaming colt, heading to her desk. It was a critical hit. Button Mash was instantly smitten.
“How did I lose her to a dragon? I’m the underdog, doesn’t that mean I get the girl and win the prom king and queen crown together?”
“Button Mash, have you ever once had a real conversation with Sweetie Belle?” Rumble asked looking up from his shirt which he had difficulty buttoning. “I really do mean that. Name one meaningful, conscious conversation that you two have had that would justify you using a very strong word like love.”
Button Mash thought as hard as he could, “She told me I had jam on my face! She cared about my appearance!”
“That’s it?”
“Yes!” Button admitted.
“It’s a mystery why she likes someone else,” Rumble said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, who are you, who are any of us to say she would be a better off with you than the dragon? He seems nice, and according to Sweetie Belle, he has been nothing but nice. Just let it go.”
Button Mash heard what Rumble was saying, but he truly understood what Rumble meant. “So what you’re saying is… I need to do something drastic and expose him as the jerk he is, brilliant!” Button stated.
“Exactly… wait, no! That is not what I’m saying!” It was too late, Button rushed out of the room with a devious smile on his face. Rumble cursed to himself. He should have just let Button Mash complain. Rumble had at most, thirty minutes before Button Mash caused some type of disaster, one that would probably result in the CMC murdering him, as well as Pipsqueak and himself. Rumble rushed to the bathroom door and began to pound on the surface. “Double time Pip! Button Mash is probably pulling something stupid, we got have to move!” He said.
Pip jumped out wearing a suit that looked oddly familiar. It wasn’t a tux, it was a brown tweed jacket with elbow patches, a dress shirt, a fez and bow tie, “I’m already ready!” Pip said, gently tossing his screwdriver on his bed.
“Really Pip?”
“Bow-ties and fezzes are cool,” Pip shrugged.
Dinky couldn’t go to the dance tonight. Knowing that she crushed her own chances with Pip, at least for a short while, she instead sat around in the hotel lobby, shifting in a chair. She didn’t have much to do since Twist chose to spend her time tonight with Truffle. She watched the ponies in the lobby, taking a few moments to memorize each of their faces. None of them seemed to interest her, until she spotted a stallion entering the hotel, reading a large book. He was a unicorn stallion with dead emotionless eyes and a flat facial expression.
Dinky swore she saw him before, she just didn’t know where. Then the memory hit her like a ton of bricks. He was the stallion that helped her help Pip! She quickly jumped out of her seat and rushed over to the stallion, walking with him when she was close enough. “Hey! Mister Dead-eyes! Hey, it’s me, Dinky!” She called. The stallion seemed to ignore her. “Hey, I’m the foal you gave advice to Thursday! Remember? You sabotaged my chances with my crush!”
The stallion peered over the pages his book and gave her a glare. “… Yes, I remember you,” he said, resuming his reading.
“So, we met again, can you stallion up and tell me your name now? I was really ticked when you wrote me off.”
“A deal is a deal. My name is Heart Mender.” He said, proceeding to turn a page in his book
“Heart Mender? Wow, here I thought it was Heart Crusher. Seriously, is it possible for you to smile?”
“No. Canterlot Academy made sure of that.”
“Do you have an earth pony twin brother in the guard or something? I swear I saw a guard that looked just like you. He had the yellow eyes, black hair, brown coat; the only difference was he was an earth pony and instead of a suit, he wore some black overcoat.”
“I’m an only child.” The stallion said as he adjusted his glasses.
“Oh… so why are you here? Are you a pro hotel reviewer or something?” Dinky asked.
“No, I’m a relationship counselor. I have a several clients in this city. One of them owns this hotel and gave me a three nights free. It was his way as of saying thank you,” He said, turning the page in his book.
“Do you do anything else?” Dinky asked.
“I’ve written several books on building and maintaining a healthy relationship, marriage, you name it. However, in my spare time, I answer question put towards me by fillies I met a little over a day ago. So if you don’t mind answering one of my question, how did things go with your crush?”
“He’s no longer emo and he is avoiding relationships for a while.” Dinky smiled. “I regret doing what you told me to more and more with each passing second,” Dinky said with a smile. “So if you’re like a love expert, are you like Princess Cadance?”
Heart Mender slammed his book shut and adjusted his glasses. “No, I’m nothing like her. Want to know why?” he asked with a chuckle.
War Trotter sat with the stallion wearing the black overcoat as most of the guards drank their youth away. “You do know all of them have amnesia, right?” the stallion asked, staring at his mug of untouched hard cider. “You did not have to buy drinks for anypony.”
War Trotter shrugged, “I don’t expect you to get it. A stallion’s word is only as good as he makes it. If I went back on my word, what would that make me?”
“A stallion that didn’t want to pay a crap load of bits for a battalion that just got their flanks handed to them by a bunch of kids? The thing that still boggles me is that they lost to foals… We’re all grown stallions. Were they poisoned? Were they just hesitant to smack around some kids? I get it if they were, Celestia knows I couldn’t hit a kid, but still.”
“Kids? Why would we need to try if we had to fight kids? They’re kids, we could take them with no effort!” A passing stallion said.
“Wait, did you just say none of you would try when fighting kids?” The stallion asked.
“Yup, why try on an easy win?”
“None of them tried to fight their hardest,” War Trotter said.
“Actually, maybe they did, it was probably just too late to do anything.”
“This answers so much. Well it happened; no guard but you and I remember it. I vote we just let it go, Dark Blade” War Trotter said, downing a mug of cheaply produced alcohol.
“You know my name’s not Dark Blade,” the stallion deadpanned.
“Kid, I don’t care what the hell your name is right now. My battalion lost to foals, most of them think it’s three weeks ago, and I think I met the mare of my dreams only to have her backhoof me.”
“And then you stayed on the floor of a museum, pitching a tent,” The stallion added.
War Trotter mumbled a few insults under his breath and downed another mug of alcohol. He decided to get hammered tonight; he didn’t care how much cheap cider he would need to consume, so long as he could block out the memories of the last week.
However, his plans came crashing down the moment Princess Celestia walked into the bar and tapped on his shoulder. “Excuse me, War Trotter; can you do me a favor?”
War Trotter let out a rough sigh. He knew it was disrespectful and normally would never even think of doing it, but the alcohol had loosened him up to the point where he didn’t care “Why don’t you ask Darko Hell-Blader over there?” War Trotter said, motioning towards the stallion.
“Still not my name,” the stallion responded. “Also, unlike you, I can say no.”
“He's right.” Celestia clarified. “Now, do you remember that teacher that was brought in? Well, she’s having a little get together tonight at some hotel and I need you to go out to this address and do me one huge favor,” Celestia began whispering information into his ear, making his eyes grow wide. “Do you think you can do that?” She asked.
“Wait, wait, wait, hold it. You mean she was released? How, why?”
“Because the union,” she said. “Now can you please do this for me? Spike, he’s the dragon that stays with Twilight, is there. He represents an irreplaceable asset and Faust knows what kind of harm they might present to him if left unattended. So please, just go there and make sure no one blows anything up.”
War Trotter dumped his third mug of cider on the floor and walked out of the bar.
“So the military is so expendable we can be rationed out as security guards for a school dance. It’s official, we have hit rock bottom,” The stallion sighed.
“The military is not expendable,” Celestia stated. “The royal guards are meant to protect all members and assets of the royal family, Spike falls under those categories. Ergo, shut up. Besides, if your little sister was placed in an unsafe environment, say a room filled with potential predators, murderers, and/or arsonists, you would not use any of the stallions at your disposal to make sure she was safe?” Celestia asked.
“… No comment,” the stallion sighed, not wanting to give into her logic.
Cheerilee stood watching her foals have fun for the first time in days. The fact that everything was peaceful was a welcomed change from the insanity of the week. It was even better knowing that she had at least two ponies to talk with, though one of them were cheering and commenting on her foals. “So, how goes the existential crisis?” Neon Lights asked as he left Vinyl to her commentary.
“So much better. You were right; I just needed to remember why I was doing my job. See these foals? I’m trying to provide them a future, so when they stand up by themselves, they can make something of themselves…. Though I will admit it really does suck being single still.”
Neon shrugged. “You can’t expect all your problems to be conveniently solved in less than a week. Come on, it’s not like a stallion will just walk in this room and ask you out.”
Before anyone knew it, a familiar stallion ran into the room, out of breath and carrying a letter. “Hi,” He said, introducing himself to Cheerilee. “I’m War Trotter, we had a run in at the princess museum.”
“Yeah, you’re the guy I back hoofed…. I’m so sorry about that. Some jackass insulted one of my students and I was just in a berserk mode…. Again, I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Oh, it’s fine, I hardly felt a thing. Before I forget, this is for you, from the princess. It’s nothing too big just a small notice.” He said, handing her a letter.
Cheerilee took the letter and skimmed it’s contents. It read, ‘Enjoy the security guard I hired for you, XoXo, Celestia’. “Hmm, considering what my class and I did, this is shockingly lenient.”
“Well to be honest, no one but me, Demon Slayer or whatever the kid’s name is, and the princess know about the museum, everypony else forgot. H-hey this will sound kinda weird, but are you free tomorrow morning? I know this coffee place and I wouldn’t mind some company to talk to.”
“Hmm… so is this like a date?” Cheerilee asked.
“… It is whatever you want to think it is,” War Trotter responded.
“You know what, why not? This week has been crazy enough, might as well finish it with something normal. Celestia knows doing something normal would be a nice change of pace…. So, anything interesting happen after I was released from custody?”
As the two ponies began to talk, Neon stood in awe. Was this because of him? Did he solve a problem for a mare though simply wishing it? Maybe he could solve his own romance problems. “It’s not like Octavia will run in here and declare her love for me!” He said, keeping an eye on the entrance. Nothing happened.
“Ooh, used your ‘it’s not like’ wish on someone else. Tough break Neon,” Vinyl said, patting him on the back. “I wish I could help you, I really do, but I used mine up a long time ago."
"On what?” Neon asked.
“A responsible roommate that can stand me, duh.” Vinyl laughed. “How do you think I got Octavia? Do you think it was because we’re friends? No, it was magic.”
Pip and Rumble frantically scanned and rescanned the dance floor, searching for Button Mash. “Dude, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know it’s going to back fire,” Rumble said. Button Mash had a habit of making huge problems for the three of them, sometimes five if Feather Weight and Shady Daze were involved.
“Um, Rumble, I think I see the bloke up in the cat walks,” Pip said, pointing up.
Rumble looked up to see Button Mash climbing a ladder, carrying a large cylinder container. “Sweet Celestia, is that paint?! Okay, we have to move. I’ll go on ahead, you find Dinky and get her to give you a speech that can calm him down!”
“Why Dinky?”
“Because, she helped you out of your emo phase in less than a day! This is similar! Just ask yourself, what would the Eleventh Doctor do?”
“Find something to do that's more fun?” Rumble’s expression fell. “Okay, I’ll find Dinky,” Pip said as he ran in a random direction.
Rumble cracked his neck and began to climb the ladder Button Mash had scaled. He was thankful that is was far off from the party and partially out of Cheeriliee’s line of sight. Actually, everything was out of her line of sight, she was flirting with a guard. Carefully taking each step, he scaled the ladder until he reached the top of the catwalks. “Button Mash!” Rumble called. Button was about to tip a very large container of paint over the edge of the catwalk.
“Hey Rumble!” He naively called. “Do you think you can you help me? This can is a lot heavier than I expected,” Button sighed. “Still, can you believe that they have catwalks? It’s almost like I’m the luckiest colt alive! So are you going to come help?”
Rumble was about to lose his mind. The fact Button Mash was acting as if this happened everyday was a definite red flag. “No, I’m not going to help you, Button! What you’re doing is insane! What’s your plan anyway?!” Rumble shouted, his voice failing to reach the room below.
“Oh, that’s easy. I’m going to tip this paint over the edge of the cat walk, it will all dump on the dragon, he will yell at Sweetie Belle since he will foolishly think that it’s her fault, then, when Sweetie Belle’s heart is broken in two, I’ll swoop in and save her like Link would Zelda. But then I’ll have a change of heart, where I try to set her and the dragon back up, but the dragon is done with her, he’s leading on another filly, one he considers better than Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle will then think back to the kindness I showed her, and she’ll realize she loves me, then we profess our feelings for each other, and we all live happily ever after.”
“Button Mash, you cannot be serious.”
“Oh I am. You see my feather friend, with the free dance happening, the dragon is merely shuffling around in a single spot, coupled with the fact that Sweetie isn’t in that close of a proximity means that she will only get a few drops on her. I have this all figured out.”
“What if he moves and you miss him? Worse, what if you hit Sweetie Belle?”
“Are you kidding me? I can’t miss. After all, I’m the good guy in this scenario, the good guy always wins at the end of a game or a movie. Come on Rumble, this isn’t rocket science,” Button Mash chuckled.
“Good guy? Button, you are so not the good guy! If anything, you’re the bad guy; you are totally the bad guy!” Rumble shouted.
“No, the dragon is the bad guy! He stole Sweetie Belle. I’m the gamer. By default, that makes me the good guy, Sweetie the girl I like, who doesn’t know that she likes me back, and the dragon the bad guy. I’ve watched like every underdog movie ever made and I’ve played Ponysona 4 like a bazillion times! Rise and I always go out by the end of it.”
Rumble’s eye began to twitch. “Well, when you put it like that, that is dumbest thing I have ever heard! You are the bad guy here!”
“Wait, we can’t just say that!” a voice shouted. Pip’s head appeared at the top of the ladder and he climbed to the top of the catwalks, out of breath. “Rumble you can’t just label him the bad guy. That could destroy our friendship!”
“Pip, you’re siding with him!?” Rumble asked.
“Ha! Take that, Rumble! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a dragon to expose.”
“Whoa, whoa, no to both of you.” Pip shouted. “Listen, just because you are not the bad guy, doesn't mean you're the good guy by default, Button. What you’re doing is obviously wrong.”
“Okay, so he is the bad guy here,” Rumble said.
“No, he’s not,” Pip answered. “Look, I heard from the bloke that Dinky was talking to that Shining Armor once did this exact same thing to some bloke at Canterlot Academy; we all know who Shinin' Armor is, right?” Rumble and Button Mash nodded. “Ok, now was the bloke bad guy? No, but his actions was not that of a good guy.”
“… Pip, can we get to the point?” Rumble asked.
“Sure, but this might take a while. We have to get every detail hammered out. I found Dinky in the lobby, and accordin' to her and the stallion she was hangin' around with, it is important to look at things from Button’s perspective, and we can’t do that if we don’t understand his current disposition!”
“I don’t get what Pip is saying, but I agree!” Button proclaimed with his hoof still on the large tub of paint.
“I hate both of you so much right now,” Rumble sighed. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”
Meanwhile, on the dance floor, Spike danced with Sweetie Belle the only way he knew how, shuffling his feet. This however, rendered his friend speechless, except for her amused giggles. The music was pounding at near maximum volume, energizing the surrounding foals, but it suddenly came to an abrupt stop.
“Okay, everypony, you all having fun!?” Vinyl Scratch shouted. There was a loud chorus of yeses. “Nice! Now who here has special somepony to call there own?!” She shouted into the mic. Only two foals partnered up, Twist and Truffle. “Anyone else?” Vinyl asked. Nopony moved an inch. “Come on we have quality guys here ladies! The Snail Colt, he’s awesome and single!” Nopony even attempted to move. “Wow, okay then; to those of you that do not have dates, you should have tried a bit harder. It’s not bad; it just means you should feel bad.” Vinyl said as Neon hit a few switches on the record booth. The lights dimmed and several light beams in the shape of hearts turned on illuminating the gym with a gentle pink glow. “To the foals that don’t have dates, move off the dance floor, cause we about to slow things down. Hit it, Neon!”
Neon gave his friend a glare as he flipped his record and the music made a drastic shift in tone from party songs to a slow playing romance song. Twist and Truffle got close and began to gently sway with each other. The site made many jealous foals and Scootaloo pretend to vomit, while Spike and Sweetie Belle stayed in their spot. Sweetie looked at Spike, and Spike looked at Sweetie, both their faces turning a slight tinge of pink.
“Y-you know, I’m kinda tired after that whole first part. I might just sit this one out,” Spike, looking away from Sweetie as he spoke.
“Oh… um, yeah. Ok, no problem,” Sweetie said, sadly looking down.
Unfortunatly, the two did not go unnoticed. “Not happening!” Vinyl shouted into the microphone, catching Spike trying to wiggle out of his dance. “If the dragon in the room will grow a pair and dance with the cute filly in blue, I think everypony here will appreciate it.”
Spike froze as he felt what he thought was a hundred eyes looking at him.
“Come on everypony that does NOT have a date,” Vinyl shouted, “Here is your chance to not be lame! Pres-sure-him, pres-sure-him, pres-sure-him!” she began chanting.
“Pressure him, pressure him, pressure him!” The foals said, joining in. Soon the only phrase being chanted was ‘pressure him’.
“Just dance with her!” Diamond Tiara shouted.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo added. “Even if it’s super girly and gross!” There was a loud whack. “Ow! I’m not saying don’t do it, Apple Bloom! I’m just saying it’s gross!”
Seeing that Spike was put on the spot, Sweetie Belle decided to help ease his nerves a little. “You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to,” She whispered to Spike. Truth be told, she really did want to dance with Spike, however she didn’t want to force Spike into anything too serious, at least not yet.
Spike was torn in all actuality. Part of him wanted the night to end here. After all this would be his first real dance, it shouldn’t have to be forced, but rather something he wanted to do. The problem was he did want to do it, a lot. He didn’t know if he wanted to do it for himself or Sweetie Belle, but some small part of him gave him a push.
Spike gently took Sweetie Belle’s left hoof in his claw and guided her other hoof to wrap around his waist. With his free claw, he gently grabbed his waist, helping her balance on her hind legs. This was what Celestia called an advanced dance, it was only explained, never practiced, but Spike was able to figure it out as they practiced the basic three-legged dance. “A-are you okay with this?” Spike asked as he began to move rhythm of the music.
Sweetie Belle was thankful that the room was so dim; otherwise, Spike might have seen her red cheeks. “Y-yeah, it’s fine,” she managed to squeak.
Vinyl smiled at her triumph. “To all the foals watching those two dance, the lesson here is that peer pressure is okay and should always be given into!” Vinyl said into the mic. “Remember foals, if everyone else is saying you should do something, you should!”
“Ignore her,” Neon said, taking the mic away from his friend. “That is terrible advice! Vinyl, I'm cutting you off from commentating,” Neon said.
Meanwhile, Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon and Scootaloo stood on the sidelines watching Spike and Sweetie Belle dance. While the song played, Sweetie Belle tripped and almost fell, but Spike was quick to catch her and help her balance again. This time, she had one hoof on his shoulder, one around his waist, while her head soon found itself resting on Spike’s other shoulder, with Spike focusing on keeping his dance partner on her hooves. They had moved from their original section near the center of the dance floor, to near the back of the room. The sight of the two made Scootaloo gag, while Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom stood indifferently, though, Diamond Tiara shook uncontrollably, as if she was repressing something. Silver Spoon sighed dreamily.
Apple Bloom felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Shady Daze. “Um, excuse me,” Shady Daze said nervously. “Um, Apple Bloom, c-can I have this dance?” He asked.
Apple Bloom gave him an angry glare and turned her head away. “If ya recall, ah said that we’d dance if ya were discreet. Having yer best friend send my flowers is not discreet.” Apple Bloom huffed.
“You said I couldn’t do anything direct, I did not deliver them,” he said, exposing the loophole, “Feather Weight did. All I did was happen to buy a bouquet of flowers, like orchids, lilacs, and tulips. These were flowers that just so happen to be….”
“Ma favorites,” Apple Bloom muttered, remembering the kind gesture. “Look ah said ah wanted-”
“Will you just dance with the colt?!” Diamond demanded, already fed up with the banter. Her eye was twitching and she seemed to be grinding her teeth as if she desperately wanted to say something but couldn’t. “Come on, you’re putting him in the dog house because he sent you flowers. He must be horrible boyfriend if he sends you your favorite flowers.”
“Especially if they’re like, forbidden love flowers!” Silver Spoon added. “He likes you so much that he sneaks them to you? If you don’t want him, I’ll take him!”
Scootaloo had nothing to say about whether or not Apple Bloom should dance however, one question did peak her curiosity. “Wait, since when are you dating Shady Daze?! Why are you dating Shady Daze, he’s Shady Daze! No one cares about him!”
“I’ll just ignore that.” Shady Daze muttered.
“First off, ah care about him!” Apple Bloom said. “We started dating about three months ago, a week before Babs came to visit. You were still crazy about us not having boyfriends, so decided not to tell ya about him.”
“There was a reason the photos I took of you three in the mud never made it to the papers,” Shady Daze said. “So considering that I was awesome for doing that, the fact we’ve been dating for three months, and the fact that Scootaloo isn’t trying to kill me, can we please just have one dance?”
“Fine, ah guess ah can forgive ya fer sending me flowers. Side’s ah think if ah don’t Silver Spoon might pounce on ya. Let's go,” Apple Bloom said as she followed Shady Daze to the dance floor.
“And another noble warrior falls victim to the curse that is love,” Scootaloo sighed. “So, which one of us is next? If it’s me, put me down. You have my permission,” she told her new frenemies.
Up in the catwalks the colts sat discussing, stuck trying to determine Button Mash’s character. “Oy, I think we got this. Although the actions of Button Mash can in no way be considered good, or even neutral, we can say that the wish to expose the dragon as he is, in fact, a worthy goal,” Pip said.
“Right,” Rumble agreed. “However, to be considered a even a fraction of worthy goal, the dragon guy, whose name is Spike, must have at some point in time, have shown less than honorable intentions about dating Sweetie Belle.”
“Yes, and although Spike basically titan morphed into a dragon and rampaged through Ponyville that one time, he has not shown a single intention of hurting Sweetie emotionally or using her for an ulterior motive. However, Spike’s personality could be pompous and self-centered, meaning that if he was put in danger, Sweetie Belle would become his meat shield,” Button stated.
“Yes, but until we can determine that factor, it is a fact that spillin' paint on him is wrong, even if Button would be proven right.” Pip said. “Movin' on, Button Mash can in no way be considered a ‘bad guy,’ as such an accusation would misinterpreted his actions as being cruel for cruelness’s sake.”
“We can, however, define his actions as a hurt soul seeking to gain that which at the moment is unobtainable through questionable means. This would make him a 'sympathetic antagonist'. Although we cannot condone his actions, we can, to an extent, sympathize with him, as we may have done the same thing in his shoes.” Rumble clearly stated.
“I think we settled it,” Pip said.
“I’m glad we could work this out,” Button smiled. “Okay, now we can go around in circles trying to talk me down from spilling the paint,” Button said as he casually sat on his haunches. Unfortunately, his body brushed against the container, tipping it over and spilling out the paint. “Oh crap!” he called.
Down on the dance floor, Silver Spoon coyly shifted in her spot, her eyes briefly meeting with a colt’s from across the room. There seemed to be a mutual, unspoken connection between the two. When they shared a glance, the colt would give a soft, welcoming smile, forcing Silver Spoon to smile, blush, and flirtatiously turn her head away. “Um, Diamond, I’m going to… get some punch,” she said after a short while.
“Going on a date, got it,” Diamond Tiara translated. “Have fun,” she said as her friend happily trotted across the floor.
“So look’s like it’s just you and me,” Scootaloo huffed. “So, what happened with the fillies from the School? I don’t buy that they were lamer than us. Admit it, they rejected you.”
“No,” Diamond scoffed. “As expected they accepted me no issue, but they were just too stupid to notice Silver Spoon’s value. They said she was a follower, and that they would never let a follower into their stupid circle, so I dumped them.”
“Wow, I thought you would have dumped her,” Scootaloo stated.
“You thought wrong,” Diamond said. “Silver Spoon and I are a package deal; you get both of us or you get nothing.”
“Wow,” Scootaloo said, shocked by the revelation. “… So why aren’t you trying to dance?” Scootaloo asked changing the subject.
“I-I never really found anypony worth my time,” Diamond sighed.
“Really? Nopony?”
“No pony.” Diamond shrugged. “I leave the romance stuff to Silver Spoon.”
“She does seem to act differently, well, so are you but she’s just so-”
“Gooey and romantic?”
“Exactly! She’s sighing and running off to a colt that smiled at her, it’s like she thinks she lives in a world of fan-fiction.”
“Well… she doesn’t think she lives in one... but she has written one where she marries Soarin of the Wonderbolts, another few where she helps a cursed beast of the Everyfree Forest find love, at which point he turns into a hot colt, a literal ton of fan-fics where she dates a bat pony-”
“Ugh, she’s one of those?”
“Unfortunately, but you learn to stand it. The thing is Silver Spoon knows she is a romantic. Exhibit A, she just saw a colt smile at her and now she probably thinks that destiney has bonded the two together forever. Look at her, she just rolls with it!” The moment Diamond Tiara gestured to her best friend, there was a loud splash followed by a loud shriek.
In the center of the dance floor, Silver Spoon stood covered in red paint. For Silver Spoon, everything around her stopped as all eyes fell on her. There were looks of pity and looks of shock, but snickers and looks of amusement overtook most of the students.
Diamond’s body began to shake as a dark scowl spread across her features. She was ready to kill all the students that would dare snicker and laugh at her friend, but something snapped her out of her rage towards the student body. She heard a very loud, shrill ‘oh crap’ from above. Looking up to the catwalks, she saw three colts who looked down towards Silver Spoon. Her rage seemed to break as she began to grit her teeth into a fine white powder. Her body quaked as she began to walk towards a close by ladder. “Scootaloo, since we have that truce, you, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle take Silver Spoon to our room, I need to take care of a few things.”
Apple Bloom had been dancing with Shady Daze for no more than a few minutes when suddenly, Silver Spoon was covered in a large amount of paint. She and Shady Daze looked towards the filly, whose entire face and body meekly trembled. Scootaloo motion for her to get over to Silver Spoon, while Diamond Tiara stormed off in a random direction. “Um… ah might need to take care of this,” she said, letting go of her partner.
“Really? I thought you hated her though.”
“We have a truce. Don’t worry, I’ll make this up to ya,” She said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.
Spike and Sweetie Belle’s dance felt slow. Spike was very careful with his movements, always trying to do his best to help his friend balance on her hind legs. However, something else made him move slowly. He was moving slowly to give himself time to think.
Something about Sweetie Belle was making him have a heaviness in his chest, a feeling that suddenly appeared when she rested her head on his shoulder. The soft tune of the song did nothing to calm that feeling. He couldn’t begin to understand it, but there was something about Sweetie Belle that seemed different. Was it her scent? Maybe, it was weird on several levels, but she smelled like freshly mixed berries. Her coat, at least the parts of her coat still exposed, felt soft like a cloud. However, the biggest change seemed to be her eyes. He couldn’t describe it but there was a shine to them he hadn’t noticed before.
Sweetie Belle, however, knew exactly what she was feeling. Joy? Yes, she was filled with joy. Worry? She was nervous to take a breath, but there was something else. She couldn’t describe it, but it felt warm. Something about the way Spike held her that made her feel lighter than air.
The music seemed to slow as she lifted her head from his shoulder. There was one moment when they caught a glimpse of each other’s eyes that made both their hearts skip a single beat. The two stood motionless, staring deeply into the other’s eyes. It was a moment were nothing seemed too stupid, that the slightest gesture could feel right.
If Spike had followed his first gut instinct, it would be for him to hold her close to him, though he didn’t know why. Sweetie Belle was about to follow her first instinct, and move her head forward, but instead they were ripped from their moment by a loud cry. The two looked to see Silver Spoon standing in the middle of the room, covered in red paint. “What the heck?” Spike asked.
“You killed us,” Rumble said as he saw just whom Button hit. “You crazy colt, you just killed us all!”
“I swear she wasn’t my target! Blame Spike, he moved!” Button said freaking out.
“Do you think Diamond Tiara is going to care about who you were trying to hit or who moved!? You hit Silver Spoon! You just signed our death warrants! The kindest thing Diamond Tiara can do to us is ruin what little social reputations we have left around school!”
“I don’t want to die!” Pip wept as he broke down into the fetal position. “Someone get a speech to calm her down!”
“There are no speeches for this!”
“Wait, maybe we can shift the blame!”
“On who, Button!? There is only two questions to be answered, ‘who tipped the paint?’! Answer: The three colts on the catwalks! ‘Who did we hit?’ Silver Spoon! There is no shifting the blame or saying only one of us did it, Button. We are all dead!” Rumble shouted.
“Why are there catwalks in a conference room even?!” Pip wept.
“This sometimes doubles for acting competitions; the catwalks are used for lighting! Almost the entire first three floors are made for major club competitions and business conferences of all kinds!
“How do you know that?” Button asked.
“It was in a pamphlet in the lobby! Darn it, Button, why do you need to be insane!?”
“Love makes us insane!”
“You don’t have the right to say you are in love!” Rumble shouted, “You have barely talked to her!”
“I think I know what you three really are,” a cold, malicious voice said. "You three are dead."
The three colts turned to see Diamond Tiara, on top of the catwalk, slowly walking towards them.
“I want my mommy!” Button wept.
“I want my brother!” Rumble wept.
“I want the Eleventh Doctor!” Pip wept.
Silver Spoon stood as her emotional barriers began to break. Well, they were more along the lines of smashed when she noticed the colt that had given her the kind smile laughing at her misfortune. Neon and Vinyl desperately tried to put on a song to lift the mood, while Cheerilee broke away from War Trotter to try to distract the foals from Silver Spoon’s predicament.
Meanwhile Apple Bloom and Scootaloo converged on Silver Spoon, shielding her from the crowed. They looked towards Sweetie Belle and motioned for her to help. “Um… I think I need to go….” She told Spike, who was still holding her.
“Oh, okay,” Spike agreed. Both didn’t move an inch. “Mind if I come with you? I could help,” Spike offered.
“Yeah, w-why not?” The two went over to Silver Spoon and helped in leading her out of the room.
Once she was away from her class, Silver Spoon silently cried as she followed the CMC and Spike to her room. “Why are we helping her? I thought she’s our enemy,” Sweetie Belle asked Apple Bloom.
“We have a truce fer tonight, tomorrow morning we’re back to hating each other.”
“Oh, okay… hey, where’s Diamond Tiara? Shouldn’t she be here?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“She had something to take care of,” Scootaloo said as she tried to comfort Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara glared at the colts as the backed up into the rails of the catwalks. “Wait, it wasn’t us!” Rumble pleaded.
“Then who was it Rumble?” Diamond asked. “And before one of you heroically comes forward, saying take him and spare the others, the answer is no.”
“It was the Daleks!” Pip shouted in a desperate attempt to save their lives.
“So Daleks, stupid tin cans from a stupid T.V. show, covered my friend with paint. You expect me to buy this?”
“We would pay you any amount of money if you did,” Button said.
“Hmm, well when you put it like that, Rumble’s first.” Diamond Tiara showed no mercy with her assault. She punched Rumble across the muzzle turned him over on his stomach, and began to bend back his front right leg. “My leg doesn’t bend that way! My leg doesn’t bend that way! My leg doesn’t bend that way!” He cried in anguish. There was a series of loud snaps as Rumble let out a blood hurdling scream that failed to reach the dance floor below.
“Now it does,” Diamond stated as Rumble passed out. She turned her attention to the other two colts.
“Please, Button didn’t mean to hit her with the paint, he was aiming for the dragon!” Pip wept.
“And what? He didn’t think about what happens if the dragon moves?”
“I didn’t think I could miss!” Button pleaded.
“For the love of Luna, please, we have parents!” Pip cried as he back up to the end of the catwalk.
“Pip, I will put this in words you will understand. Exterminate.” Quickly, Diamond Tiara kicked Pip in the groin. He let out hurt squeaks as he fell to the floor. “Hey, Button Mash,” Diamond Tiara said, as she slowly walked towards the remaining colt. “A Pissed Off Diamond Tiara appeared, looks like you sent out yourself.”
“I am shocked and impressed you know enough about that game to reference the battle sequence.” Button Mash said as he cowered in fear. “I’m sorry! I am sorry! I’ll do anything, just have mercy!”
“…Button Mash used grovel and beg like the worm he is. It has no effect on the Pissed Off Diamond Tiara. The Pissed Off Diamond Tiara used ravage assault.” Daimond Tiara grabbed the colt by his shirt and punched him across the muzzle several times, “It hit several time(s). A critical hit. It’s super effective.” She said, dropping him.
“Please, I’m knocked out, I fainted!”
“Sorry, but your Sturdy made you endure the assault. So what do you do now?”
“Um, I run away?” Button Mash said.
“You can't run from a trainer battle,” Diamond Tiara stated.
That did not stop Button Mash. He tried to run past her, only to have Diamond grab him. His life flashed before his eyes, most of which were the hours he spent in front of a screen with friends. He was punched several times until he fell against the bars of the railing. “Please, I’m sorry, I’m so sahahahary!” He wept.
“Yeah? Well, you can tell your dentist I’m sorry,” Diamond said. She delivered a kick to the back of Button’s head.
Diamond climbed down to the dance floor and went upstairs to her room to join the CMC, the dragon, and Silver Spoon.
Diamond entered the room only to hear the shower running, with Silver Spoon missing from the group. There were soft sobs coming from the bathroom, which only burned Diamond Tiara further. “Hey Dragon guy, do you think you can do me a favor? I need Button Mash, Pip, and Rumble fixed up ASAP.”
“I’m sorry?”
“There was an incident. Do you think you can get that chaos guy to heal them? You work with the princesses; I would think you could pull some strings.”
“I guess I could send a letter, but what do I tell her?” Spike asked
“The truth,” Diamond said.
“You want me to do what?!" Discord's feigned scream of shock echoed through the castle, as he stifled his laugh. Discord loved these little late night calls, it meant that Celestia wanted, nay, needed his help. And did she need his help. Celestia had shown Discord a letter detailing a very brutal, and hilarious, assault. Of course just giving in and saying 'I'll do it' was off the table, he needed something in return. “Tia, Tia, Tia, I can't just heal those colts, I’m not a charity worker. I mean, yes, I could use my magic to solve all problems in the history of ever, make world peace and solve world hunger, but I don’t for one reason. I need something worthwhile in return. And yes, I could just be happy that I helped my fellow pony, but what you and Fluttershy don’t get is that I get nothing but a thank you.” Discord said. “Screwball and I can snap our fingers and get whatever we want! What can you possibly give us-”
“Just name the town and you get an hour to cause chaos in it,” Celestia interrupted.
“Ponyville,” Discord said.
“The Elements, both the gems and Twilight and her friends, are off limits,” Celestia said. “But before you retort, I’ll give you an extra hour.”
“Give a pass on Rarity and a mare of your choosing, and I’ll settle for an extra thirty minutes,” Discord smirked.
“Very well... You get Pinkie Pie. One more thing, as always, Spike is off limits,” Celestia said.
“That might cost you,” Discord said, stroking his goat beard. Of course Spike was off limits, talk about overprotective. She never showed favoritism his foot. One day though, he would screw with that dragon harder than any victim he had ever messed with before. He just had to wait.
“I’ll give you a pass on Rainbow Dash. Also, Fluttershy will be brought here to tend to Philomena so she doesn’t try and guilt you into stopping, but you only get the original hour, max.”
“Deal! Pleasure doing business with you, Princess. Now if you excuse me, I need to heal three colts.” Discord snapped his fingers and appeared on top of some catwalks in a random hotel, before Celestia could negotiate any further. “This is so beautiful. Such glorious chaos,” He said to himself, wiping a tear from his eye. One colt was a Pegasus, another colt a very small earth pony, and the last colt owned a beanie similar to the one his daughter owned.
He used his magic to check each of the colts. The results were that one would likely never walk again, one would never have children, and he was 95% sure that the last one was dead. It was a good thing he was a boarder line god with a soft spot for kids, otherwise this type of beating might actually have real-life consequences and at least some blood. Seriously, there was no blood at all.
He snapped his fingers and the beanie colt’s teeth were in his mouth, whiter than they had ever been. Discord even gave him thirty-two bits just to show up the Tooth Fairy. He snapped his fingers again and pegasus's leg was fixed, he could now enjoy the gift of walking. Finally, with one final snap, the very small colt was healed. He could now have children when he got married. “Hmm, imagine if I actually used my gifts to better pony kind…. Oh, wait, that’s right the unemployment rate, the mortality rate, and the poverty rate seem to be non-existent! I swear if I went full chaos, this world would fry.” He muttered before returning home in a flash.
Diamond Tiara let out a sigh as she entered her bed room. The fillies that were her temporary allies sat around in silence, with the sound of running water going off in the hotel's bathroom. Diamond knocked on the door to the room only to hear the soft sounds of sobs, mixed with the sound of the shower running. She took off her dress and entered the bathroom. As she expected Silver Spoon sat in the shower, crying her eyes out, with no trace of any paint on her. “Hey,” Diamond said, “You okay?”
“No,” Silver sniffled. “Why would they do that? I didn’t even do anything to them!”
“We don’t have to; they kinda make fun of themselves. I wouldn’t take it personally though,” Diamond Tiara said, entering the shower and giving her friend a comforting hug, letting her cry into her shoulder as the water drenched them both. “It’s Button Mash, he’s just naturally stupid. Remember when we had to write a book report about The Old Stallion and the Sea?”
“His presentation was about how some green thing blew up his boat in some game.”
“Exactly, and then he was shocked when he got an F. He’s just some stupid colt; he probably thought that what he was doing was a way to ask you out.”
“It wasn’t very romantic. I thought you had to give the girl a sign you like her before you asked out, like Shady Daze and his flowers. You don’t embarrass her,” Silver sniffled.
“That’s what makes them so stupid,” Diamond said, giving her a reassuring squeeze.
“I can’t believe I actually feel sorry for Silver Spoon,” Sweetie Belle stated as she waited for the two fillies to exit.
“I know, right? This feels weird. It’s like if Celestia teamed up with that bug queen thing at the wedding.”
“Do you think we should do something for her?” Apple Bloom asked. “Ah don’t got a lot of bits left, but I could swing fer a candy bar or somethen.”
Spike suddenly perked up as he felt in his coat pocket. He still had the bits Celestia gave him; there was more than enough for a treat. “Hey, guys, do any of you want ice cream?”
There came a loud knock on the bathroom door. “Hey, guys,, I know this is so not a good time, but I have some bits if you guys want some ice cream or something,” Spike offered, jingling the bag of coins.
“I heard Ice cream,” Diamond Tiara sang, “and it’s Sweetie Belle’s dragon that’s paying. I’m thinking about getting a float, and I know you’d like a Sunday,” she tempted. “So come on, cheer up?”
Silver Spoon nodded, turned off the running water and the pair began to dry off. When Silver Spoon’s hair was braided, the two exited the bathroom and left to get some well-deserved snacks with their new, temporary friends.
The party had ended a half hour after Silver Spoon was drenched in paint. Neon had been paid in full, with Vinyl taking 15% of the profit. War Trotter left, making plans to meet the teacher at a coffee shop early the next morning before she left for home, Heart Mender gave Dinky a business card, in case she ever needed help with any future relationships. Leaving Cheerilee to deal with Pip, Rumble, and Button Mash, who she found on the cat walks.
“We swear! Diamond Tiara kicked the ever living crap out of us!” Button pleaded. “I was curb stomped!”
Cheerillee did not believe a word any of them were saying. All of Button’s teeth were still in his mouth, whiter than they had ever been, and for some reason he had 32 bits. “Oh I’m sure Button Mash, and Rumble’s leg was bent a way it shouldn’t be,” she said, looking at Rumble, whose legs were all fine and unbroken. “You three are in trouble, a lot of trouble. However, your punishments can wait until we get back to Ponyville. I’m sure your siblings and parents are just dying to hear about tonight.” There were three loud groans, as they mentally prepared themselves for the punishments they would receive.
At an ice cream parlor close to the hotel, Apple Bloom had ordered a large cookie dough ice cream cone, Scootaloo ordered three scoops of a rainbow ice cream, and Silver Spoon got a hot fudge Sunday. Diamond sipped a fizzy vanilla float, while Spike got two scoops of pistachio and Sweetie Belle mint chocolate chip.
“Thanks for this,” Silver Spoon said as she ate her ice cream.
“Don’t mention it,” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, it’s Spike that’s paying, so feel free to bleed him dry,” Apple Bloom said.
“Hey, where is Spike? I might need a refill,” Diamond huffed.
“He’s outside with Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said, putting a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. “Hey I know that I said I would let the whole no relationship thing go, but do you guys think you can give me a pass on something?”
“Whatever you need,” Diamond said, finishing her float. "But only for tonight."
Spike and Sweetie Belle sat on the edge of the side walk in silence enjoying their treats. There was a small gag between the two, something that, while not needing fixing, Sweetie Belle rectified, scooting just a bit closer to Spike. Though the air was warm, there was a slight heat irradiating from the dragon that the unicorn found comforting.
"Hey Spike? Thanks for dancing with me,” Sweetie Belle said, looking at her friend.
“No problem, I actually had fun,” Spike said, looking at the stars. Sweetie Belle carefully scooted just a hair closer to Spike until they were only two slight movements away from touching. Spike absent-mindedly placed his claws to his side, putting one of them on Sweetie Belle’s hoof. Both realized the position they had placed themselves in and quickly scooted away from one another. “Sorry,” Spike apologized.
“I-it’s fine…." Sweetie said, trying to ignore a growing feeling in her chest. "Hey um… Spike… do you mind if I tell you something?” Sweetie asked.
“Yeah, sure, what is it?”
Before Sweetie could answer, the remaining foals exited the ice cream shop. “Hey, Sweetie Belle, I think it’s time to go. We need to be at the train station early, remember?” Scootaloo said, nudging her on her shoulder.
“W-wait, I was… I need to…. Um…” Sweetie stammered. She turned to Spike and tried to think of something to say but failed. She decided to just do the first thing that came to mind. In an instant, her body moved.
Spike was shocked as he felt a soft, warm pair of lips press against his cheek. He tried to move, make a sound, anything, but found himself frozen. “I just wanted to say, thank you, for everything.” Sweetie Belle quickly dashed ahead of her group. For some reason, the heaviness in her chest was replaced by a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. She turned and called to her friends, urging them to hurry.
When they stopped smirking and followed Sweetie Belle, Spike stood alone in the curb; his claw touching the spot of his cheek that Sweetie Belle had kissed. After a few moments, when he could function as a normal dragon, he began his short journey back to the castle. He kept on rubbing his cheek as he walked down the road. He had no idea what he was feeling, but he did know one thing, he was strangely happy. He had many questions about the kiss, but they could wait. After all, he would see Sweetie again soon. Until then, he had plenty to do to pass the time.
“Hi Spines,” Sweetie Belle greeted as she entered her room. The porcupine opened one eye, and lazily rolled off the bed. Sweetie Belle picked him up and got into her bed, laying Spines down on a spare pillow. The porcupine blinked. Sweetie Belle giggle to herself before answering, “It was nice.”
“And Gross,” Scootaloo said. “I can’t believe you kissed Spike!”
“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said.
“I know! No freaking out. I can still say it is gross though. So when we get home, if we’re not too grounded, what do you guys want to do?”
“I say we crusade!” Sweetie Belle said, raising her hoof. “We’ve all had a nice break and The Cutie Mark Crusaders even have a mascot now!” She said, lifting up the porcupine.
“Seriously, what’s the deal with the porcupine?”
“Spike took too long to get me, we bonded, I’m keeping him,” Sweetie Belle answered.
“If ya say so,” Apple Bloom sighed. “So, what do you think we should try next time?”
“Oh I know, Cutie Mark Crusaders: Chemists!” Scootaloo said.
“Best. Idea. Ever.” Sweetie Belle agreed.
Spike finally stopped rubbing his cheek just as he came to the entrance of the castle. The moment he entered, he was greeted by a smiling alicorn. “You’re back early,” Celestia said. “Sweetie Belle and her friends aren’t doing anything they shouldn’t, right?”
“No, they just had to head back early,” Spike said.
“Hmm, so I’m guessing things went well then?” Celestia said. “I don’t think your smile can get any bigger.”
It took a moment, but Spike finally realized that he was smiling, “Um… yeah, I guess… I’m kinda, tired, is it okay if I go to bed?” He asked.
“It’s okay, but you and I are spending the day together tomorrow. After all, you owe me for getting Discord involved with your friend’s little fight.”
Spike sighed as his head bent downward. “Understood. Good night, Princess.”
“Goodnight, Spike.”
Spike navigated through the endless halls until he came to his room. He hopped on his bed and pulled the last of Celestia’s diaries. He was excited to read this one; the date it had put it only a year away from when she first met Twilight, the same day he was born. He opened the book up, and began to read.