Presentable, that's you! Amazing what a little hot water and a comb can do. You were dressed in your best, well, t-shirt and jeans. Not like Pinkie's parties were all that formal anyways... You went the extra mile with tucking in your shirt as you came down the stairs though. Suave. Eris was sitting cross-legged on the couch with her arms folded over her chest. She looked...miffed.
"Uh...you okay?"
"Fine."
Oh sure, fine. Totally didn't sound icy as all get out...
"You, uh, you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Then why are you staring a hole into the wall is what you want to say but you decide against it. She might stare a literal hole into -you- if you keep with the questioning.
"Riiiiiiiight... Well. I'm gonna head out now. I'll be back soon. Remember, uh, you stay here."
creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak
You were almost positive you heard a creaking sound when Eris turned to face you. Like the sound you hear with that first step into a haunted house or something. Had to be your imagination though... Had to be.
"I'll remember."
No smile. No whimsy. Nnnnnnothing. Cool as ice...
"H-Heh. O-Okay. I'm...gonna leave now."
The sweat was beading up on your forehead as you nervously backed up to the door and out of the house proper. Eris never broke eye contact the whole way. With an uneasy chuckle you closed the door behind you and sighed.
"Some party this'll be..."
Sugarcube Corner was already thumping with music and strobing with lights by the time you arrived. This still constituted as a "small" party to Pinkie. You pushed through the swinging doors and were almost immediately greeted by cries of "Anon!"
"Hello girls!" you greeted back.
"Welcome to the party! Isn't it just the best 'You Didn't Die!' party you've ever seen!" Pinkie giddily jumped up and down, the never-ending supply of sugar in her veins already pumping strong.
"Heh, uh, sure thing Pinkie. It looks great!"
"We're just so glad to see you're unharmed, darling."
"Sure as shoot we are, sugarcube."
You chuckle and give both Applejack and Rarity a pat on the head.
"Watch the mane, darling."
"Oh, Anon!" Fluttershy suddenly hovered in front of your face, looking you over with worry and concern. "Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere? Here, how many hooves am I holding up?"
"Fluttershy, easy. I'm fine. Just passed out was all. And how many hooves could you possibly hold up anyway?"
"I told her you were fine Anon, but you know how she can get." Twilight cut into the conversation. She smiled and sipped her cup of punch as it hovered in the air.
"I appreciate her concern. ...? Hey, where's--"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanon!"
Before you could respond you felt something slam into your back and send you sprawling to the floor.
"Hi, Dash." Your voice was muffled by the floorboards in your face, but you're sure she heard.
"Dude, I'm so glad you're not a crispy hay-fry!" The pegasus affectionately nuzzled the back of your head.
"You and me both, Dash. Can I get up now?"
"Oh! Uh, y-yeah. Sorry." RD hopped of your back and helped you to your feet.
"Thanks, Dashie." Another pat of the head, which Dash eagerly rubbed into.
Dash was probably your second closest friend after Twilight. Not that you didn't get along with all of them, but yeah. After the gooey welcoming the party got into the swing of things. Drinking punch, playing games, all that. Secretly, you wished Pinkie would throw more...stimulating parties. Something that didn't remind you of a kids birthday party every time. Just a little hard cider and maybe a poker game, that's all your saying. Still, you appreciate the effort Pinkie puts into making sure you had a good time. You chuckle when you see the pink pony balancing the punch bowl on her snout while juggling cupcakes.
"Hahahaa! That is impressive, little pink one!"
Wait.
That sounded like...
Oh FUCK.
You see Eris phase in from the damn ether and you proceed to start the worlds longest spit-take. That was apparently the signal for full-blown panic-mode to start. Ponies running this way and that with Twilight shouting orders while Eris looked genuinely confused. You hacked and coughed, beating on your chest to clear the airways.
"W-Wait! Hold on!" Still wheezing you rushed in front of Eris.
"Anon, what are you doing?! Get out of the way! It's Discord!"
"Uh...are ya sure, Twi? Ah don't remember Discord havin' long hair. And eyelashes."
Eris giggles from behind you and batted those long lashes of hers.
"Listen to AJ, Twilight. This isn't Discord. This is--"
"Eris! The one and only!" To your utter horror and shock she had stuck her head and upper torso through your chest and bowed. She pulled back and you shivered.
"Never do that again."
"Oh get over it, big baby." Eris teased and hung onto your shoulder.
"...Okay, I'm -very- confused right now." Twilight announced with a hoof to her temple. The rest of your friends nodded in agreement.
Guess it was time to explain things. As best as you could, anyway.
"And that's what happened." you say simply.
The ponies around you all had various expressions on their faces. Twilight was the first to speak up.
"So... Disc--Eris, she's the one who set fire to the museum?"
"Well, it -was- an accident."
"I told you I didn't know what gas was!" Eris added.
"My head..." purplesmart rubbed at her temples again.
"Shoot. Whaddya think we should do, Twi?"
"I...I honestly don't know. Anon says it was an accident, and I believe him but..." Twilight cast a well-deserved glare of scrutiny at Eris, who was busy guzzling down the leftover punch.
And then eating the bowl.
More temple rubbing.
"Look, Twilight, Eris... Eris is pretty well-behaved. For the most part. I mean, besides the museum she hasn't caused any problems."
"To be fair I haven't been around all that long yet."
"Not helping."
Twilight was pacing back and forth, trying to think of something. Time to cheat a little...
"Think about it though Twi, with Eris here...you could examine an actual draconequus. I can't think of -any- pony who's had that privilege."
Twilight's ears instantly perked up.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm... That's...very true, Anon. I could write a dissertation!"
Hook, line, and sinker.
"But, oh, what about Princess Celestia? She needs to be informed. It is my duty as her student to keep her abreast of things like this."
Shit, you forgot about Princess White-Rump and Twilight loved playing princesses pet.
"Uh... hows about a deal, hmm? You don't tell Celestia that Eris is here as long as Eris doesn't cause any chaos. That sound good?"
"Not cause chaos?! I-I need chaos to live! Chaos is food!"
"Really?"
"Well. No. But....it's so fun!" Eris whined and pouted.
"Deal with it. You want to go back to being an ornamental garden decoration? Because if Celestia gives Twilight the go that's what'll happen."
Eris grit her teeth and harrumphed.
"She's on-board. What about you, Twilight?"
"All right! You've got a deal, Anon. But one misstep and she goes back into stone."
"Deal." You shake Twilight's hoof and smile at Eris. She rolled her eyes and huffed.
"And girls, you agree with my decision?"
"We differ to your judgment in this sort of matter, darling."
"Yeah. What Rarity said. But you...!" RD rushed up into Eris's face and stared her down. "You cause any problems for Anon and you'll answer to me!"
"Ooooh, I'm -so- scared, cutie~" Eris pinched Dash's cheek and giggled flippantly. RD blushed and zoomed away from Eris as quickly as possible.
"Well. I think that's more than enough excitement for me today."
The ponies all voiced a similar opinion.
Quick hugs and words of thanks were given to Pinkie, who readily accepted the praise.
"What the parties over already? Geez, you're not a very party-hearty bunch." Eris floated over and put her hands on her snake hips.
"Always next time." you try cheering her up.
"Pfft, I guess."
"Don't worry Ericord! I'll be sure to throw you a humdinger of a party soon! You're new in town after all, and I always throw new ponies--discotheques--a super-duper party!"
"It's true, she does."
"I like the pink one the best."
With a grin you leave Sugarcube Corner in tow with Eris, Pinkie waving goodbye. And once outside the same happens with the other ponies. RD gives one more hard-stare at Eris, who girlishly waves back and blushes.
"I-I think it's great you like me, little pegasus, but, oh, I just don't know if I'm ready..." Dash sputtered and flew off, crimson playing at her face. Eris burst out laughing. "That one is so easy to fool with."
A laugh serves as an agreement and you start walking home.
Eris floats after you, playing with her snowy hair.
"Um, so... Why did you stick your neck out for me back there? It's your name on the line as much as my gorgeous butt is. Have you seen it by the way?"
She tried to present what would pass for a rear-end.
"What butt? You're one long fuzzy snake-tube."
"Hey!" she flicks one of your ears with her eagle talon.
"Geh! Easy! And the reason is stood up for you is... Hell if I know."
"Huh? You did it for no reason?"
"There's a reason, I'm sure, but I'm not exactly sure what it is."
"Anon... That's... So chaotic!" Eris hugged you around the neck from behind and lets herself drag across the ground as you walk.
"Eris, leggo."
"Noooo~"
"Eris, please."
"Nuh-uh, Mister!" She nuzzled your cheek and sounds like she's...purring.
You have to fight the heart attack coming on... You just let her cling to you as you continue onwards. The stares of some of the towns-ponies don't detract as much as they probably should.
Home sweet home.
You push the door open and Eris finally lets go. The warmth of her on your back felt nice... Not that you would ever admit it. Not aloud anyway. Eris floated over to the couch and stretched out.
"I dunno if I'm thrilled with being some nerds play-thing."
"Eh, it's not so bad.” you say with a grin and take a seat next to her.
"Speaking from experience?”
"Well... Twilight and I used to date, believe it or not.”
"Whoa, really? You and the poindexter?” Eris arched an eyebrow in surprise.
"Mm-hmm. It was awhile back.”
"Huh. So, why'd you two break-up?”
"We just discovered we're better friends than we were, you know, lovers.”
"Very interesting... So, you have no problems dating outside your species than.” Eris smiled and draped her goat leg over one of your own legs.
"And what do you think yer doin'?”
"Oooh nothing~ Juuuuuuust stretching a little. Getting comfortable.” the draconequus gave you a playful smirk and put her lion's arm around your shoulder.
"Uh-huh. Do I look like I was born yesterday?”
"Now is not the time for such pointless questions, A-non-y-mous~” Eris batted her eyelashes and inched closer, further invading your dwindling personal space.
"Boundaries, snake-tube.” you put a hand to her snout and pushed her back a little. Eris grinned and licked your palm. “Geh! What are you doin'?”
Eris giggled and flitted her tongue much like an actual snake. And lo and behold, it was forked too.
"That's creepy.” you say deadpan.
"Creepy?! You jerk!” In a huff Eris started smacking at you. “What's creepy about me, huh?!”
"Gee, where do I start?” you shouted and shielded yourself from Eris's perturbed blows. Not that they actually hurt much.
A sudden knock at the door interrupted...whatever the hell it was that was happening here.
"Answer the door, jerk-face.”
"Oh yes'm Miss Eris, miss. You wants I should do a dance to while I'm at it, huh masta?”
Your comedic genius was lost on Eris as she just sat there with a confused look on her face. You sighed and got up from the couch, grumbling when you were sure Eris was out of ear-shot.
"Hey, wait a minute. You go head somewhere first.”
"Why?”
"Still a secret to the masses, snake-hips. Remember?”
Eris groaned over-dramatically and floated up and through the ceiling. When the draconequus was clearly gone, you opened the door with a smile. And to your surprise it was Twilight standing there with an exuberant, if not giddy, smile herself. And she had her saddlebags thrown over her back like she was prepared to travel somewhere.
"Oh, Twi. It's you. Uh, did we forget something at Pinkie's or...?”
"Not at all, Anonymous.” the unicorn happily trotted in and glanced around. “Where's Eris?”
"Riiiiiiiiiiiight here!” Eris yelled and sprang up from the floorboards. “What do you need, little unicorn?”
"Oh! Heh. T-There you are.” Twilight clutched at her chest and took a deep breathe after the mild shock. Well, I'll be happy to tell you what I need the second Anonymous brings in the rest of my bags.”
"Rest of...” you poke your head outside and see a mountain of bulging packs and stuffed sacks. “What the hell, Twilight? What is all this?”
"Just bring it all in and I'll explain.” Twilight smiled again and waited for you to get working.
"Christ. Fine, fine...” you eye the mound of god-knows-what and can already feel your back getting sore.
Over the course of the next hour you lugged Twilight's junk into your home. Eris and Twilight were so helpful too, with how they chatted with each other and sat their asses around doing nothing. Women... Finally, the last satchel made its way inside and the prodigious pile of rubbish was in danger of scraping against your ceiling.
"There! Done! Never ask me to do that again.” you say exasperated.
"That's my big strong human.” Twilight chided. Eris narrowed her eyes ever-so-slightly for a moment.
"Now can I know what all this crap is doing in my place?”
"Naturally. These are my research materials, of course. The unicorn said matter-of-factly.
"Research? Wait, now?”
"Oh yes! I intend to start my research on Eris as soon as possible.” Twilight beamed.
Eris floated over next to you and whispered in your ear.
"Hey. Hey Anon. I'm popular.” she cutely bit her lip and waggled her eyebrows.
You grimaced and ran a hand through your hair. Twilight was always...spirited one when it came to nerd-science-stuff.
"Twilight, come on, be practical. It's late. Can't this wait till in the morning? Besides, all yer stuff has taken over my living room.”
"I have just the solution to all these problems. I've been meaning to test it anyways.” Twilight proudly announced.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, yer...experiments have a tendency to, you know, backfire.” you point out.
" Not that often, they don't.” Twilight protested. “Anonymous, trust me, this will work. And all problems will be solved. Especially the issue of where I'd be staying.
"Yeah, the issue of...wait. Staying? Here? Yer staying here?”
Twilight nodded and started trotting towards the staircase, stopping just short of the stairs themselves. She was eyeing what passed for your broom-closet. Her horn lit up and started pulling pieces of some type of machinery out of some of the bags of hers.
"Now, just give me one teeny tiny moment, Anon.” Before you could protest Twilight, and her gaggle of machinery floating around her, headed into your broom-closet.
"I... Just... What?”
"Does...she always do stuff like that?” Eris asked as a small glint of light started to seep out from under the closet door.
"Uh... Define “a lot”.”
You and Eris stand in front of the closet, waiting for Twilight to finish whatever it was she was doing in there. And the two of you could hear buzzing, slight electrical cracks, and other odd noises emanating from within. And occasionally the light seeping out would flicker and change color. You just hoped Twilight didn't end up nuking your house into magic-ash. After a few minutes you were starting to lose patience with all this sci-fi stuff. Finally, you just decide to open the closet door and see exactly what it is the Nerdicorn was doing. And in doing so you see that the closet is empty. No Twilight to be seen, just the same old junk that's always been in there.
"Where the hell did she go?” you ask to no one in particular as you poke your head into the empty closet.
"Can she teleport?”
"Yeah, she can, actually. But I don't think that's what happened. She doesn't need machines for that.”
"You have to knock.” Twilight's voice came from nowhere.
"Twilight? Where are you? What did you do?”
"Just knock and you'll find out.”
You looked to Eris who just shrugged. With a sigh you shut the closet door, then you did as Twilight asked and knocked.
"Come in!” Twilight said happily.
"Okay Twilight, what did...you...do...?”
You swung the door open and were greeted with a sight you couldn't even begin to rationalize. The “closet” was now what looked to be a room; a room that seemed infinitely vast. Blackness stretched on for what seemed like forever, with vague silhouettes of unknown things dotted here and there. Large, matted-gray cables ran this way and that, above your head and under your feet. Twilight sat at what you guessed was the center, under one of the few light source you could make out, grinning ear to ear.
“Twilight, what the hell did you do?”
“Isn't it fantastic? It's something I've been tinkering with for awhile now. I--” the unicorn practically glowed with pride, but you cut her off quick.
“No, no, no, no, no, I can't even begin to care about the magi-tek bull you were about to spout off. In the simplest terms Twilight, explain to me what all this is.”
Twilight blinked a few times, taken aback by the sudden outburst before saying:“Uh, well, let's see... Simplest terms... I made the closet a pocket dimension using science.”
The unicorn waved her forelegs around and made woo-ing noises for added effect. You pinched the bridge of your nose and took the deepest breath possible. Eris floated in after you, marveling at the sight.
“Woooooooow, impressive. I think. I dunno much about masheens.” Eris said while chewing on the end of her tail.
“It's “machines” and don't praise her. It'll just encourage her to do more crazy crap!” you griped.
“Settle down, Anonymous,” Twilight trotted over and patted you reassuringly on the leg. “You still have your closet. Remember when I told you to knock? That's the key. You don't knock, you can't access this space.”
“I see... So my house isn't going to collapse into a black hole is it?”
“Not unless the gravity well I--”
“Uh-uh, stop. Now. Forget I asked... Look just, I dunno, keep the crazy mad scientist stuff to here, okay?”
“Mad scientist? The nerve of some humans.” Twilight twisted her snout up into the air and huffed.
Eris giggled and continued to chew on her tail. You tried to get the nerve throbbing on the side of your head from bursting. This day just needed to end before anything else could happen...
“Hey Anon, do you hear running water?” Eris asked, her ears twitching and rotating like radar dishes.
“Water?” You strained your ears to hear anything. “Now that you mention it, I do.”
“Me too.” Twilight's own ears twitched along with Eris's.
“Let's go see what it is!” Eris said excitedly.
And without waiting for either you or Twilight the draconequus took off. You and Twilight shared a look before chasing after her. By the time you and the unicorn were out of the closet Eris had already left the house, causing you huff in annoyance. Didn't even have the decency to close the door after herself.
“Oooo, that's nice. Anon, come lookit this!” Eris called for you from somewhere out front.
“So what's making the noise, ErissssssssssssssssssAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
You could immediately see what was the cause of the commotion. It was Rainbow Dash's cloud home quietly floating just to the side of yours, its rainbow waterfalls splashing on the ground below. Eris was busy sitting underneath one of the falls, guzzling the multi-colored liquid down in a hurry.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noooooooooooooooo! Come on! Seriously?!” You ranted there on the lawn. “RD! Rainbow Dash! I know you can hear me up there!”
You saw the slightest twinge of movement: a flash of a rainbow mane, a magenta eye peeking through the clouds. Finally the cyan mare showed herself. She looked bashful, her eyes darting back and forth, a blush playing at her face.
“O-Oh, hiya, Anon.”
“Explain. Now. Before my head explodes.” Which looked to be about ten seconds away with the way that vein was bulging.
“Well, I, uh, I thought you could use some help. With Eris, I mean.”
“And that requires yer entire house being next to mine?”
Rainbow Dash blushed and started stammering out an answer. “I figured it would be easier to be...c-closer to you. I mean, your house! The house is what I meant! I-I'm just trying to help, Anon.”
“Oh, I'm already neck deep in “help”,” you thumbed over your shoulder to Twilight who has standing in the doorway. She smiled and waved innocently.
“W-Well, more help is always good, right?”
You grumbled something about “having help like this” before slouching your shoulders and sighing heavily. A draconequus, a unicorn, and now a pegasus. If Pinkie or AJ showed up now to insist on staying you wouldn't bat an eye. Actually, you probably would. Applejack would bring the whole damn farm with her you're sure. And Pinkie...you don't even want to think about living with her. You looked over to Eris, who was still gulping down the liquid rainbow, and getting comically fat while doing so. Twilight was looking at her too and taking mental notes judging by the expression on her face. Dash hovered over to the draconequus as well and started saying something you couldn't quite make out.
This was your life now.
An ex-girlfriend mad scientist.
A loud-mouth braggart with a crush.
And a seemingly all-powerful capricious entity who flirts like it was going out of style.
Party hard, Anonymous.
Party hard.