//------------------------------//
// A Guards Tale: Part Four (Not Edited) 
// Story: Obsessions 
// by Derpyx0 
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"We were madly in love. She was beautiful, I was handsome. Everything was perfect... until it happened. We were in our first year of college when she got pregnant. Not wanting to be an ass, I stayed with her all through the pregnancy. When it was born, she wanted to keep the baby, whereas I wanted to get rid of it. I knew it would cause so many problems, financially and relationship wise. But it was technically her baby, so we kept it. She dropped out of collage and moved into my apartment so she could take care of it. I got three jobs to help support us, but I was stressed. Three jobs and a scholarship is hard to keep up with. All the stress was affecting me and my life. I was moody and pissed off all the time, and my bosses didn't like that. Due to my stress and moodiness, I eventually lost my jobs, one by one, until I couldn't pay for my apartment anymore. My parents were so disappointed, they stopped paying for college. I'm not kidding you. They cut my funding, until I could "get my life back together". Me and my girlfriend were on the street; the baby too. And I guess I... wasn't thinking straight. We made a little money, and what little money we made I spent what little money we had on booze, and just like that, I was addicted.  I was so stressed, I needed something, anything to let it out with. The booze helped a ton.

"I eventually got another job, but she got one as well and it paid better then mine, so she was paying for the majority of our one room, really shitty apartment. Even though our apartment was shitty, it was expensive, so with our payment, it was getting harder and harder to keep up with the bills. We eventually had to take out loans so we could keep on living in our apartment. Luckily, my parents chipped in a bit. But it was still the hardest time of my life. Because of all that was going on, my got really b- bad, and I was drinking e- every night. I guess one night I just... lost it. I was t- thinking about how shitty my life was, and about how none of it would be happening if that stupid baby, Plug, hadn't been born! I- I was drunk and I- I was stressed and I-" Blaze was in tears now. This was all so hard to think about, let alone talk about!

"I hit him! I blamed him for everything. I... and then... she came home and she... it was horrible... And the bruises and he was crying an- and... and then she ki- she kicked me out! I was on the street just like that with nothing but the idea that I was a monster." Blaze was crying hard now. He didn't realize it, but Redheart had put her hoof around him, and she was quietly saying "Shh."

"I... I lived on the streets for years until I finally went back to collage. I finished out my years, taking out more loans to do so. I eventually got a job in the guard, but I've been paying off my loans ever since. Honestly, I've hated my life ever since. I can't even look at a foal now! And all the expenses! But the worst part? I was still addicted. All these years what made me a horrible stallion would sit in my cabinets. It would mock me because I couldn't stop. An- and then today. Everything was so alike then, and I was drunk and I... I got angry at all the booze. I got angry at what it did to me. To my life. It ruined me! So I decided... I smashed it. I got rid of it. And then I... Well, I hurt my hoof. Shards of glass do a number to the hoof." Blaze was hiccuping now. He couldn't keep it together.

Redheart was about to reassure him, but he continued his sorrowful rant. "I... I'm sorry! I'm very, so very sorry! R-Redheart and Sweetheart a- and P- Plug! Plug, I'm so sorry! I was so horrible! I am so horrible! I... I have to go. I can't stay here. I'm horrible!" Redheart could tell he wasn't talking to her now, at least not directly. Soon, Blaze got up to go, but Redheart grabbed him. Afraid he would hurt himself if she allowed him to leave, she stopped him.

"Blaze! Don't go! This all happened so long ago, you have no reason to call yourself a monster! No pony blames you."

Blaze ignored her attempts to comfort him. "But... Redheart... I do. I blame me. She blames me, I know it. A lot of ponies blame me, and I can't do anything about it! Nothing! I thought apologizing to you would make everything better. I thought it would be all okay if I apologized. I thought it might... make my actions a little less horrible. But it didn't. I'm just as horrible a pony. I can't take back anything that happened. Nothing. I did so much wrong, and the scars will be there forever. No matter how much I try to fix everything, I ripped them apart. And I can never put them back together again. I'm a monster. The scars will always be there. There on Plug, and on me. I- I'm a monster." Blaze slumped down on the couch. He curled up and shut his eyes. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to walk away from this nightmare. He wanted it to end. But he knew that the moment he fell asleep, he would dream about Sweetheart. There was no way to end the pain. He could never make up his sorrows. No matter how much he tried, he would never shake away his sins. Ever. But maybe this time... he could sleep peacefully, knowing that his story was of his chest. He felt a little bit lighter now. Not that much, but good enough that he could tell the difference. The chip was now off his shoulder. Now it was just following him. That was better then it always being there. So, very much better.

Blaze suddenly realized how droopy his eyelids were, and how heavy they seemed. He yawned and stretched out on the couch. The last thing Blaze heard before he fell asleep was, "I forgive you, Blaze. I really do." With that, his eyes closed.