Just Horsing Around

by Darkness Shade

22nd Harvest

"I'm sorry, go to where? I'm afraid I heard you say something crazy....not that I have a problem with crazy, but coming from you that's sometimes surprising."
"No, I said Hell. He's trapped in Tartarus for some reason and that's where we need to go to save him."
Discord mulled that over for a bit before laughing, "When I said I expected an adventure out of this, I didn't think you'd come through to such a degree. Now I'm truly happy I decided to join this little rag-tag group on a rescue mission. So, when do we start?"
"We need to fill you in on our exact plan so that's what the rest of today entails: detailing the plans one last time, making sure we have what we need gear wise, and then getting a good night's sleep."
"And...you're just content to let me be about during all that? You aren't worried I might betray you in the night and take advantage of your sleeping?"
"Oh, now you wouldn't do that would you Mr. Discord?"
"Hmmm?" Discord turned towards Fluttershy and about died from a heart attack, "Guh!"
Fluttershy gave him her widest eyes as her bottom lip quivered, "We all wanna be friends again....don't you want to be friends with me? Friends wouldn't have such thoughts."
"Guh!" Discord groaned again before glancing at Ryan, "How do you do it?!"
Ryan looked left and right before staring at him, "Do...what?"
"Not die from the cute! I mean, Tia and Lulu had a way with facial expressions but this one...ugh. I'm surprised you haven't died by this point dear boy." Discord leaned in to whisper, "Can...can they all do that?"
Ryan smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, "Oh yeah they can. Haha, so unless ya wanna see if even a god can die from cuteness overload Ah suggest playing along with us for a bit till ya remember the whole "how-to-be-a-friend" thing."
"...damn it boy, how can you make light of such...such power?"
"Easy: Ah pretty immune to it to the point where it gives me strength. Now come on, quit being ridiculous and follow us to the planning spot."
And so the rest of the day passed with them going over their "battle plan" as it were, Discord making various noises and such as he was clued into what they had in mind. Though the Princesses were a bit worried that said plan was to just let Discord run about mostly free, they could sense something different about their once friend and decided to roll with it. Besides, they figured, if all else failed Twilight and the other Element Bearers could just petrify him once more till he decided to behave.
As it was, night had fallen and the group was readying for bed...although Discord had discovered something he hadn't noted until just now, "...I just realized something."
Ryan rolled his eyes and groaned, "Disky, we're trying ta sleep...what is it?"
Floating through the air till he was hovering over Ryan, Discord smirked, "It's that after doing a head count of our little group, there seems to be an extra member to our party I didn't think about till now."
"...and?"
"Oh, nothing much...just that it seems you've really outdone yourself in trumping dear Darkness in the love department." Discord waggled his eyebrows, unnerving Ryan to no end, "Not only did you bag yourself the Element Bearers of all ponies, but even that silly mint one that ran all about while I caused chaos fell prey to your charm....or your hands, either one really I imagine."
Ryan groaned, pulling his pillow over his head, "Disky...is this really the time? The girls are all asleep already—"
"—so I noticed. You must really enjoy them being your blanket."
"Disky...." Ryan sighed, "Look, Ah can't help that apparently Ah have some crazy magnetism of some kind that just drew all of them to me after Apps but...yer right about that. They make the most enjoyable of blankets...."
Discord snickered before nodding, "Just like Dark...heh...very well, I've had my fill of teasing you. Rest up, wouldn't want you dying after all."
"...Oh, Ah'm sure you'd just be broken up if some nightmarish hell-spawn put the kibosh to me instead of you."
"Oh...such words, they sting me so boy." Discord pouted before floating back to where he had been resting, "Good night..."
"Good night Discord."

The next morning the group of heroes, after a quick breakfast, gathered their gear and headed off in the direction of the Everfree.
"Why doesn't it surprise me that we would need to head this way to get to the entrance of the Underworld?"
"Haven't you always wondered just why the Everfree is how it is dear boy?"
Ryan rolled his eyes, "Ah always figured it had to do with you and your little reign of nonsense all those years ago. A small part of Equestria forever tainted by yer touch."
"Actually, Ah've been wondering that too." AppleJack glanced over her shoulder as they walked, "Just why is the Everfree the way it is? Ah know it's been that way a long time but do you really have some sorta connection to it, Discord?"
Discord merely shrugged before smirking, "With all that happened back then and how long ago it was my memory is a bit...fuzzy."
Pulling some cotton out of his ears before fashioning it into a stylish scarf, Discord continued to avoid the question, "Perhaps it was, perhaps it wasn't....you can't rightly expect me to remember everything now, can you?"
"...that's about as straight an answer he'll probably give so I'd drop it you guys." Twilight added, "We need to stay focused and keep alert: the path to Tartarus isn't the easiest way to find and that's just finding the entrance. Actually entering and navigating, well...."
"It'll be hell, right?" Ryan snickered before hearing everypony groan, "Okay, okay...Ah'm wearing that one out, Ah hear y'all."
And so they continued on, Discord deciding that donning safari gear and using a poorly designed copy of Malus Domestica to cut the vines was the best way he could "help". As it was they marched on for quite a while, making small talk here and there to help keep the tension of their mission down until finally Twilight stopped.
"...what is it, Twilight? Do you sense something?"
"No, but we're close Lyra. Everypony stay on guard, we need to make sure we're ready for what'll be at the entrance."
"N-now wait, Twilight...you...you don't mean?"
Twilight nodded, "Yes, Fluttershy. As most of you know, the entrance is heavily guarded so that all those unsavory characters down there won't break free."
"If'n it's anything like the mythology Ah know of, yer talking about Hell's personal guard-dog aren't ya?"
"That's right Ryan." Twilight saw the entrance coming up but something seemed off, "...that's curious. Where is Cerberus?"
As the group came to a stop outside the entrance to Hell, it was apparent that this just wasn't right: for whatever reason it was unguarded and that was not a good sign. Scratching his head, Ryan looked about before feeling a gust of hot air, "Eh? What in tarnation?"
"Something wrong, dearie?"
"Ah felt a gust of hot air, Rares, and it came from...up...there." Ryan stared upwards with wide eyes, "Uh, guys, Ah think Ah found Cerberus."

Glancing upwards, the group could indeed see that the three-headed guard of Tartarus was above them, apparently magically bound by something or other. Cerberus, having finally noticed he'd gotten their attention, let out some growls and whines that left most of them perplexed.
"Oh...oh my goodness me." Fluttershy puffed out her cheeks," You poor dear."
"What's he saying, Flutters?"
"He says that a strange creature showed up, one that he hadn't sensed in a long time." Fluttershy listened to Cerberus intently, "Hmmm...one that he remembered. When he went to check on his master, he saw the creature talking with him...and then things got bad."
"Bad? What does that mean?"
"Hmmm...I'm not sure. He says the last thing he remembers is heading back to guard the entrance, noting something felt off, and then....he was tied up here." Fluttershy gasped, "Oh, by the way, he'd really be appreciative if you helped him down. He's kind of tied up and it's not comfortable at all."
Nodding at the magically gifted members of his group, Ryan flew up and sliced through the bonds holding Cerberus; once free, his fall was slowed thanks to a group effort till he was safe on the ground again.
"Oh bravo, boy, bravo." Discord clapped his hands slowly, "You saved the big, scary doggie."
Cerberus growled before getting in Discord's face, a move Discord was not amused by.
"Oh relax you over-grown flea-bag, I'm not here to cause trouble...for once. I'm actually here to help out and retrieve that strange human you noticed."
Cerberus continued to growl before glancing at Ryan, "Aroooo?"
"Uhm....what? Oh! Disky...yeah, he's telling the truth. We knew we'd need help to save Darkness so...that's why he's here."
Cerberus gave one last growl before nodding, at that he stepped aside to allow them access to the depths of hell.
"He's...he's letting us in just like that?"
"Awoof."
"Of course he is." Fluttershy smiled as she rubbed Cerberus' ears...well, one set of them anyway, "He knows that we aren't evil in the least—well, most of us—and so if we're here to help he won't stand in our way. Oh...but he says to be careful."
Rainbow Dash didn't like the way that sounded, "Careful? Other than it being the underworld, what else is there to worry about?"
"His master is missing....and that means things have, well, gone to hell."
"Hey! If Ah can't make that pun, nopony can!" Ryan grumbled...before gasping as Cerberus licked him, "Hey! Sheesh...okay, okay. Ah have to admit, it was well timed. Don't worry, we'll do what we can big dog."

The group soon found themselves descending deeper and deeper underground as the passage they took wound this way and that. All was eerily quiet save for occasional wails and moaning...and the unnerving sight of misery everywhere.
"...Being raised Catholic, actually seeing Hell for real is kinda...unsettling." Ryan mumbled, trying not to let the situation get to him.
"Raised what? What's that Rysy-Wysy?"
"Oh, just religion. Ah've noticed ya guys don't really have much in the way of that save for those "cults" centered on Cellie and Lunes."
"Don't forget me, dear boy." Discord cackled, "I'll have you know there are plenty out there that worship my chaotic designs."
"Sheesh. Those must be some wacked out ponies then." Rainbow Dash sighed, "And how long is this going to take? It seems like we've been walking forever."
"From what I know of my studies, the Underworld is vast and purposely confusing so that should any soul trapped here be foolhardy enough to try and escape they will find it most difficult." Lyra nodded her head, "At least that's what I remember reading."
"Heh, and yet Kratos managed to do it twice without much effort." Ryan chuckled before noting the empty stares, "...oh right, y'all don't have that here."
"Well I think it was quite relevant. He certainly was a very one-track minded individual with his revenge on the gods, yes?"
Looking at Discord's paw resting on his shoulder, he turned to see that he was now outfitted in said Spartan's iconic looks right down to the ashen and red markings, "How...?"
"Well if we're making a journey through hell, I figured I should look the part...at least for your benefit anyway, boy." Discord admired his new duds, "A bit...spartan perhaps, but the chains are nice. Frankly, I preferred the milk cartons myself but I suppose even I am at the whim of the writer's decisions."
Pinkie Pie gasped before smiling ridiculously wide, "Oh my gosh! You can do it too! Well, I figured you might be able to but that just clenches it! Hooray!"
"....you guys need to keep these outbursts down. The last thing we want is to draw attention to ourselves."
"Ah suppose T-Sparks is right but....speaking of noise." Ryan turned to his younger brother and frowned, "You've been awful quiet Spike...are ya okay?"
"Oh it's just...when we were smaller Twilight's mom would tell us stories and some involved here. She always did such a good job of making it sound terrifying so that, ya know, we'd be good so...just a little surreal actually being here."
Laughing softly, he patted his head, "Well, ya ain't the only one unnerved. It's certainly creepy down here...but we got a friend to save."
With that they continued onwards until...
"...the path splits. Great."
"Hmm...what a troublesome choice." Discord laughed before splitting in two, "Well that was easy enough. Oh, but wait. You can't do that so...hmmm..."
As the group tried to decide on the best choice to make, Discord took the moment to examine the frail passageway they were in: with it being rather enclosed it would be quite easy to block one route off and possibly separate everyone. Factoring in that Twilight would not risk using magic lest she alert the delightful residents that they were there, it was the best possible plan he could imagine. With one quick, unseen flick of his wrist he got his idea rolling as the tunnel began rocking. Readying himself once the others caught on to the shaking of the tunnel, he put on his best poker face, "Ryan! Look out!"
"Eh?" Ryan gasped as he was knocked into one tunnel by Discord before they were sealed up by the collapsing tunnel, "What the...Girls!"
"We're all okay Apple Ryder, but are ya alright?" AppleJack kicked the rocks but they didn't budge, "Dang it....Twi, ya wanna use yer magic here?"
"No! Don't." Ryan sighed, "It might give away our presence...and then that spell you used would be worthless."
"Ry....ugh, he's right." Twilight huffed, "Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"Yeah, we'll head down this way and y'all keep on the other path." Ryan looked at Discord before glancing back at the rocks, "Hopefully we'll meet somewhere just...just be careful okay? Ah don't wanna lose anyone..."
"We'll be careful Rys, you be careful too okay?"
"Oh you needn't worry your pretty, little pony heads." Discord put an arm around Ryan and hugged him close, "I'll be sure to keep your human safe and sound."
"...right. You better Discord or you'll be answering to Kicks McGee and Bucky McGillicuddy."

And so the groups split up, hoping that eventually they would reunite somewhere in the murky depths of the underworld. As it was, Ryan and Discord walked in silence for a while as their path was going nowhere fast. Discord, as expected, was waiting for his moment so to speak when he heard Ryan clear his throat, "...what was that, boy?"
"Ah said, Ah know ya did that."
"...did what?"
"Separate us."
Discord scoffed, looking all the part shocked, "Why whatever do you mean? Why would I separate our little group like that?"
Ryan shrugged, pausing to look up at him, "A lot of reasons Ah reckon, though getting yourself alone with me being the top one."
Grumbling, Discord narrowed his eyes at him, "So if you knew, why say nothing? Why allow me to do as I did?"
"Maybe it's part of Dark's thoughts rubbing off on me, or perhaps Ah honestly want to see you change." Ryan smirked, "Either way, Ah was curious what ya had planned...so Ah didn't say anything."
Discord was a bit confused by this turn of events and, for the first time in a while, was not sure how to react to something so surprising.
"If ya aren't gonna say anything to that, then answer me something else: what happened? Back then, Ah mean. Dark doesn't remember much...or if he does he doesn't want to right now, but Ah've seen images. Flashes of scenes, events...." Ryan saw a decently sized rock and sat down on it, "All Ah know is what Ah see in the nightmares that plague Dark confuse me: a pony, you, an unbelievable ache, and then chaos....something happened to you that broke you, so what was it?"
"...why would I tell you, boy? Why even ask? Why do you care?" Discord grumbled, sitting down next to him and huffing.
"Don't you remember what Ah said? Ah want to see ya change so that at least one ache in their hearts is healed." Ryan laughed softly before winking, "Besides, friends are there to listen to each other when they need to talk. So, we're here and Ah think talking about it might help."
"...friends?" Discord scoffed, "You want to be friends with me after what I tried to do to you? Is this a joke? A trick? Or have you just lost what little sense it seemed you had?"
"Everypony deserves a second chance, right? So come on...tell me about it. Ah know from experience that talking about aches helps, even if just a little. And each time, it hurts a little less." Ryan shook his head, "Maybe after a thousand years that's all ya needed, a friend to listen and to help you with your grief."
"........"
"...Disky?"
"...it seems like only yesterday, but it's been a very, very, very long time since those days." Discord waved his hand in the air, generating an image of what appeared to be Canterlot in the past, "It was different then, a little less crowded but still as elegant as always."

"I don't remember much about before I arrived there, drawn as I was to...something."
"Something?"
"As I said, I don't remember much. I have vague memories of my parents, but the first real memories I can remember are when I spotted him."
The image shifted to show what appeared to be Dark, though he looked slightly younger and a little more naive.
"I saw him in the castle gardens, apparently talking to himself. Now I had seen humans before, mind you, but this one...there was something special about him." Discord laughed, "Especially since he didn't bat an eye when I landed in front of him and started talking to him. Hahaha, he simply shrugged and then asked who I was."
Ryan shook his head and smiled, "That sounds like something Dark would do; he's not one to sweat the details like that."
"Yes. Needless to say it intrigued me, so I stuck around. Heh, and then I made the acquaintance of dear Tia and Lulu. They were at a lost as to what to make of me. Apparently draconequus were not too common, at least to the point where they had never seen one before."
Running his hand through the image, it changed once more to show Discord with the Princesses as he was given a tour of Canterlot, "They welcomed me, though, even if I did delight in pranking them. I began living normally there, finally finding someplace to put my roots if you will."
"Okay, so that explains how ya ended up there but...." Ryan trailed off as the image became that of an Earth pony with a pair of open-ended wrenches crossed over each other for a cutie mark, "Who is she? She's pretty but...judging by the grease on her face she must've liked building stuff."
"Ah yes." Discord stared at the image quietly for a few moments, "I met her one day while out exploring the town. There was an explosion and I saw her emerge from the center of it unscathed. If you'll pardon the pun, that day I was blown away by what I felt looking at her."
"And?" Ryan watched as the image became static-filled and distorted, "What's happening?"
"My memories begin to get a bit warbled here but then again when you live as long as I have you won't remember everything perfectly." Pulling out what appeared to be a remote, Discord pushed a button on it and waited for the image to clear up, "Goodness...it certainly didn't seem that long but I suppose those happy days did last a while. Oh! Here we go....the root of the issue as it were."
Despite him saying that, the image Ryan looked at was curious for a few reasons: One, it was not moving like the others, two, it was still somewhat fuzzy, but the third one was what stood out the most in his mind.
"Disky...that's blood...a lot of blood...and then...no." Ryan's face paled as he put the thoughts together, "No, no...."
"Heh...seems you've put it together faster than I thought you would." Discord sighed before swatting the image away, "She was killed....they said it was an accident but I knew better. She was too careful for such a mistake...Gauge."
"Gauge?"
"Her name....Gauge Mechro, a very engineering Earth pony. They claimed one of her inventions did her in...but I didn't buy that for a second. The sight of her...and what I saw at that scene...I knew whoever killed her had to be a human, no doubt one jealous of her skills."
Ryan frowned as the pieces began falling into place, "...you were in love with her. Ah dare guess it was mutual."
"...yes. After weeks of prodding from Dark I finally made a move and was surprised to see she was interested as well." Discord closed his eyes and sighed, "Losing her like that....I couldn't handle it. I...I snapped....and tried to leave to cool off to protect my friends. It didn't work, though, as you well know. My mind became twisted and I did terrible things because of it. Heh, at least till my friends stopped me. And how did I repay them?
"By killing one, causing heartache in the other two, and ridding this world of all their human friends. Heh....looking back on it, I deserved what I got. Frankly, after that and then what I did to you as well I'm surprised you even contemplated letting me go to assist with this. Heh, funny but I suppose my age has caught up with me if I'm being so reflective on the past like this."
"Disky..."

"Wha?" Discord was caught off-guard by Ryan taking him into a hug, "Ryan...what in Tia's name are you doing?"
"What any good friend does, give a supportive hug when needed. Heh, come on, that's like Pinkie Pie Rule Number 2 when it comes to being an awesome friend." Ryan laughed softly, "Lost love...it can impact someone hard, of that I know."
"...you truly are an unusual individual. Heh, what else could I expect though? After all, there is a reason you of all people came here after all."
Breaking the hug, Ryan stood up before staring at him, "What are ya getting at with that? We should get moving again, too."
"Yes, I agree." Discord followed behind as they continued on their way, "But back to what I was saying...haven't you ever wondered, boy, why you of all the humans on that little world of yours ended up here?"
"Ah must admit Ah have wondered at times but why bring that up now?"
"Let's just say that trip down memory lane stirred up a few things I hadn't thought on in quite some time. Think about this though: how is that you speak the same language as us? Or can eat foods here with no problem? Even the fact that you learned magic is a curious thing, isn't it?"
"...well, yes, those were lucky breaks but...what does that have to do with all this?"
"Oh dear boy, are you still having trouble connecting those bothersome dots?" Discord chuckled, pulling out a pencil and moving about in the air, "Here...let me help you. This dot is you...this dot is Dark...you've drawn that connection, yes?"
"Well, yeah, at this point there's obviously something given Ah thought of the idea of him long before showing up here." Ryan suddenly became aware of dots floating in front of them, "So then this one is me, that is Dark...are these two supposed to be the world we came from?"
"Ah, yes...nicely done." Discord connected said dots, "Now then think on what we talked about...the helpful coincidences we noted."
"So then...wait...." Ryan began frantically looking at the dots before watching them all connect, "No...you can't be suggesting that...."
"Yes, Ryan, I think you've put it all together."
"Mah God...so when you made all the humans here disappear, you didn't kill them." Ryan's face matched the blown feeling his mind felt at this point, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide, "You sent them away...even in yer madness, ya still had some small part of you that wanted to protect your former allies from yerself. So you...you..."
"Quite. I sent them away, far from where they would be a problem both in the sense of trouble for crazy me—well, crazier me—and in the sense of protecting them from myself." Discord ate his pencil before blowing away the dots, "Nopony but me knows this truth...Dark might know, since he disappeared in a similar fashion. His case was special, as when I attacked him I was not as careful."
"So while he was sent away much like the others...only his soul was transported. Ugh." Ryan took a deep breath, "So...so then Ah...oh man. Ah can speak with y'all, breathe the same air, eat the food and...dear God, even mah magic abilities."
"Yes?"
"It's because Ah'm related to them. Somewhere in mah lineage, Ah have ancestors that were humans from Equestria. Holy shit...Ah...Ah need a moment to take this in."
Catching the slightly swaying Ryan, Discord chuckled, "By all means my friend, it is a bit to take in finding out your ancestry is from another world after all."

Ryan stood there, waiting for the world to stop spinning before another thought dawned on him, "So then...is it safe to assume that's why stuff like measurement systems and even the names of so many things are the same? The days, months, all that stuff?"
"It's a fair enough guess, after all I'm not quite sure just when I sent them to. As you can imagine, I wasn't exactly in my right mind when that all went down so the specifics are muddy at best." Discord laughed into a sigh, "I suppose I should be thankful they at least ended up on your Earth....and not on the sun or something. Long-distance teleportation is very tricky."
Ryan simply nodded along with him for awhile before a thought dawned on him, "Wait...so does that mean ya know where mah Earth is?"
"Roughly....it has been 1,000 years here after all so the old memory isn't what it once was." Discord pulled off his head and shook out all sorts of odds and ends, "Full of cobwebs I'm afraid."
"Well, that's okay. I guess I should've expected as much."
Discord raised an eyebrow at that before putting his head back on, "I thought you enjoyed your new role in life. Why would you be disappointed that I don't remember? Trouble in paradise?"
Ryan waved his hand dismissively, "No, no. Nothing like that, it's just....well...while I don't really feel all that homesick anymore thanks to mah herd, I still hold out hope that Ah can send a letter to mah family somehow. Let them know I'm okay and happy. Ya know, all that tying up loose ends stuff."
Fiddling with his beard for a few moments, Discord smiled before placing a paw on Ryan's shoulder, "I can't promise anything, boy, but I'll see what I can do to help."
"...huh? But why?"
"Is that not what friends do? I admit I'm rusty, but I still remember some things."
Smirking at that, Ryan gave him a friendly shove before nodding, "Come on ya wacky sunuvabitch, let's go find Dark and blow this taco stand."
"Shhh, don't say that word."
"What? Taco?"
"Yes. Don't you know how dangerous that word is? The other you certainly did."
"...this is one of those times where Ah should just not ask questions, isn't it?"
"Quite."
"Oh...and one last thing that is kind of sitting there after finding out all this."
"And what might that be?"
"You said ya sent the humans to mah Earth...but ya don't note when. And Ah notice ya didn't say anything about the humans that would already be there."
Discord merely giggled as a toothy grin spread across his features, "Yes?"
"So, aren't ya worried someone might take that to mean that the whole reason humans were on Earth was because of you?"
Discord burst into laughter, falling to pieces for several moments, "Dear boy, that's the whole point! What fun is there in this if I can't drive the fans crazy with theories!?"

Realizing that was indeed half the fun, the two continued walking on before finally finding themselves in a large, cavernous area. It was quiet, far too much compared to when they first showed up, and that was setting off the good, old sense of impending doom sensors in Ryan's noggin.
"...."
"...something wrong, boy?"
"That pony...the pale looking one with the slightly glowing eyes just on the other ledge there. Ah get the feeling he can see us."
"That's ridiculous, boy. Your precious little purple smart's spell should be keeping us cloaked save for if we go too crazy with the magic."
"...Ah know that but...we've been walking for a bit and it keeps shifting to follow us."
And then, as the two blinked, the strange pony was now in front of them which caused the two to let out the most unmanly screams they had ever mustered with Discord jumping into Ryan's arms.
"Yikes! Tough crowd with you two. Relax a little: this might be hell but no need to get so worked up."
"You...yer talking to us?" Ryan blinked before frowning and dropping Discord, "So Ah was right."
"Indeed human...I must admit, you took longer than I was told you would."
"...who are you?"
"Come now, Ryan, surely you with all those brains can figure out who this is. Think really hard."
Ryan took another look now that he wasn't on edge, "Wait, wait...pale look, slightly skull-themed appearance, mane and tail made of fire, a large pair of scythes on yer back. Oh dear..."
"Heh, I suppose you are as perceptive as I was informed." The pony smirked before striking a pose, "I've many names: Thanatos, Death, Pluto, but the one I'm most partial to has to be Hades. So yeah—"
Ryan gasped as this crazy pony took his hand and began shaking it vigorously, "...buh?"
"Finally nice ta meet you: I'm Hades, Lord of the Dead, how ya doing?"
"Uhm, Ah....well, I should've expected as much coming down here but wait! This is perfect! You run this place, right?"
"Sharp kid, better watch yourself around this one Discord." Hades narrowed his eyes, "Although....what are you doing here? Don't you remember what I told you the last time you entered my domain?"
"Oh, that?" Discord chuckled before ruffling Hades' mane, "My old friend, don't tell me your still hung up over that little, itty-bitty prank?"
"Itty-bitty?!" Hades growled, his flame mane growing in size, "You turned the underworld into what could have been the setting for a children's cartoon!"
"Peh, I simply gave it a little color, that's all." Discord waved his hand, "It's always so dreadful down here, I simply wanted to perk things up."
Hades growled, "It's supposed to look that way...the people down here are here for a reason."
Ryan, sensing they were going nowhere fast, squeezed between the two gods before sighing, "Look...we won't get anywhere arguing. Disky is here because...because we wanna give him a second chance. Now...can you help us get Dark? Because the sooner we do that, and meet up with mah herd, the sooner we'll leave Hell in peace."
"...the Elements are here? Oh dear. But wait...that might be just what we needed!" Hades immediately relaxed before laughing, "If it's Dark you want...we might hit a snag or two."
"...well that sounds ominous. Where is he?"
"Well..."

Hades was doing his usual rounds, making sure the denizens of his domain were still where they were: locked away tight so that they may never harm another. As he finished his round, he sat back in his chair to enjoy a nice, hot cup of an unidentifiable red liquid. As he went to take a sip, a loud flash followed by a bang jostled him sending the cup flying and putting out his mane.
"Oh come on! Can't a god of death get some peace? What now? Another escape attempt? Or an unexpected addition?"
Reigniting his mane and sitting up, Hades sighed only to gasp in shock at what he saw sitting on his check-in desk, "....what kind of stupid stunt is this?"
"Hades? How the hell ya been, man?" Darkness chuckled before hopping off the desk, "Oh, hold on a moment."
Snapping his fingers and donning his wings, Dark sighed, "It's odd, but I just don't feel right without those."
"Darkness Shade?" Hades shook his head, "You can't be here. You died....a long, long time ago."
"I assure you, it is I." Dark chuckled, "I like the current look you got, more stylish. Definitely less creepy than that one ya had going back then with the whole skull and bones thing going on. Very modern."
"...so are you going to tell me what's going on or are you gonna keep critiquing my look? The souls of the damned won't torture themselves you know."
"So testy. Well, I'm sure you've been keeping tabs on what's going on lately. You certainly noticed a new hero emerging, yes?"
"You mean that human that showed up? Befriended and then got hooked up with the Element Bearers?" Hades scratched his chin, "What about him?"
"I've been holed up in his noggin. But to make a long story short, I used Soul Crash to protect him from the Alicorn Amulet and then ended up here."
Hades rolled his eyes, "Then why not just leave?"
"Pretty sure if I did that without Ryan here to, uhm, "hop" into I'd disappear for real this time." Dark sighed, "So...kinda stuck here till he shows up."
Hades face-palmed, "Lovely...well as much as I would just looove to catch-up with one of the people most responsible for the lovely collection of evil we have here, I—"
"Lord Death! Lord Death! The damned are rioting!"
"What?" Hades turned to the little pony-demon that had run in, "What do you mean?"
"They've somehow broken free and are banding together...they're apparently trying to find him."
Dark seemed puzzled until he pointed at himself, "Me?"
"We're trying to contain them but they're nearly here!"
"Dammit! Guess it's time to show them not to mess with the God of Death!" Hades pulled out his scythes before smirking, "Let's slice 'n dice!"
"Ooooooh! Can we make julienne fries?
"....either help me or don't be stupid, Dark."
Reaching behind himself, Dark pulled out a familiar looking sword before smirking, "Very well then...let's Darken the Skies."

"Unfortunately they were more than we could handle." Hades groaned, "Dark held them off and told me to run, that Hell really would be in trouble if the ruler of it was captured. That was about three days ago so who knows what's going on down there. But this is perfect! I have the backup I need...assuming your little group is all I've heard they are."
"Ah'd stake mah life on our reputation." Ryan nodded, "So what's the plan?"
Meanwhile...
"We've been walking and walking forever, Twilight." Spike huffed, "I'm worried about Ryan...being alone with Discord is bad news."
"I don't disagree with you, but he's a lot stronger than he was when you two fought Discord. He should be okay. Should." Twilight bit her bottom lip in worry, "Either way we need to hurry."
"I still don't get why we can't just poof to them." Rainbow Dash groaned, "At least we finally got out of that cramped tunnel."
"We can't give away that we're down here. Just because most of the high-level evil beings are trapped away, doesn't mean they're necessarily under lock and key. Hell is a tricky place and not somewhere the living should tread lightly."
"Ah reckon she's right on that." AppleJack looked about, nervously eyeing the spectral beings floating about, "Granny always told us the legends about it and how it was a horrid place full of the most unimaginable things."
"G-Girls!?"
"...Fluttershy, darling, what's the matter?"
Lyra gulped as she turned to see what had caught Fluttershy's attention, "That...that's a big...big...whatever it is."
"It sure is!"
"Pinkie." Twilight whispered, "Shhh. We can't be too noisy either or we'll no longer be hiding."
"Uhm, Twi, I don't think that's working on this guy." Rainbow remarked nervously.
"And how can you tell?"
The demon-thing roared loudly in their faces before staring them down.
"Oh. That's how." Twilight gasped, "Run!"
With that the group made tracks, being chased for quite some time by the hell-spawn before reaching what appeared to be a dead-end. Just as they were most likely going to have to fight to survive, they stumbled into a pit that sent them tumbling and rolling until they landed in a quiet area that seemed strangely devoid of any life.
"W-where are we?"
"I'm not sure Pinkie, but it looks like a...jail?" Spike examined the small cells and nodded, "Yeah, totally seems like one. Odd, though, there's...nameplates?"

"Maybe they categorize the evil entities by name? But..."Coltbra Commander"? "Emperor Pupatine"? "Megapone"? "Lord Tirek?" I don't ever recall reading about any villains by those names in any book on Equestrian history."
"Ya reckon maybe there from the time when the humans lived here?"
Lyra shook her head, "Not these ones, anyway. Some of these names I'm seeing are in the books I have, if memory serves me right anyway. But most of them...I'm just as lost as the rest of you as to who they could be. They could be in the other books Ryan and Dark told me about, though..."
"Well that's just more things to worry about. Hmmm, something else seems off here as well. Let's keep moving and looking." Twilight glanced about before nodding, "Hopefully we'll find our way to them soon."
As they continued down the line, they noted more and more empty cells that didn't bode well for what was going down in Tartarus. As they eventually reached the end of the line, Twilight sighed, "This is worrisome. With all of these empty..."
"Sorry to disappoint you, kiddos, but they aren't all empty."
Shrieking slightly in surprise, the group turned to face a very odd looking pony that was apparently wearing a strange mask of some type and had a large, yellow, mechanical looking H for a cutie mark.
"What? What's with the blank stares?" The odd pony scoffed, "I swear, you lot must be dumber than those stupid Vault Hunters."
"Vault...what?" Rainbow Dash shook her head, "What kind of weird pony are you? And what's wrong with your face?"
"I could ask you the same thing, sweetheart. You look like you lost a fight with the paint department in a hardware store."
"Hey!"
"Man...I'd much rather Butt Stallion's company right now than you colorful eyesores. Sheesh, and I thought I'd seen some weird ones back on Ponedora but you lot? You make me wanna poke my eyes out you're so ugly."
"...well aren't ya just the rudest, lil' pile of manure."
"Ugh, just...stop talking. That accent is just...guh!" The pony grumbled, "I prefer the torture to having to listen to you talk."
"Hmmmmm." Pinkie eyed the pony still jailed up before nodding, "I get it!"
"...get what you ungodly pink abomination?"
"You are all grumpy-mc-bumpy because all the other villains went out for play time but left you behind."
Spike rolled his eyes, "With such a charming personality, I can't imagine why."
"Cute. This from the walking snake."
"Dragon!"
"Whatever, kiddo. Either way you're short and scaly."
"Darling, must we waste time with such a...ruffian? Should we not work towards finding our dear human and Discord?"
Twilight nodded, "Rarity's right. This guy is just wasting our time."
"...now, wait! Don't go! There's no need for that, kiddos!"
"Sorry weirdo, but we've got someone to save."
With that the pony could do naught but watch as they continued on their way, leaving him all alone in his cell, "...and they're gone. Great. Back to the deafening silence once again. I miss my moon base...and my guns...and my robots....and Butt Stallion."
"You truly are a sniveling excuse for a villain, aren't you? Then again, what else would I expect from a...pony?"
"What?! You!? What's the matter, the other baddies didn't want some old goat hanging around?"
"Simpleton. As if I was just some petty goat...but I suppose I shouldn't expect some pony to know the difference. No..." The figure smirked, "Let that fool worry about something as petty as direct revenge. Even if it is him somehow, I'm not one to follow another's orders. I must bide my time...but soon enough I will have my revenge on those Princesses...and Darkness Shade as well should he truly be alive."
With that the hooded figure disappeared, leaving the still jailed pony alone once again.
"....and now the creepy goat guy is gone too. Wonderful...oh well, back to thinking about Butt Stallion."

"So...we need to go get yer real scythes? Hidden away in yer office?"
"That's about the short of it. The ones on my back are the day-to-day ones...but this requires something with a bit more punch." Hades peaked around the tunnel before motioning all was clear, "If we can get those, then somehow meet up with Dark, we just might have a chance to quell this little rebellion."
"Things are certainly interesting now, eh boy?" Discord chuckled as they continued on, "I mean, we go from a simple rescue mission to helping save all of Hell."
"...things certainly aren't simple in life ever since Ah showed up here, that's for sure." Ryan rolled his eyes, "Only you would get a kick out of the situation getting worse."
"Oh but think of the fun we'll have." Discord grinned and ruffled Ryan's hair, "I know just how much fun you have when you get to be all "hero mode" like this. It's just so adorable."
"...Disky."
"Quiet you two...we're getting close now. I doubt they're there anymore but..."
"Right, Hades. We need ta be careful."
Having reached Hades' so-called office, they slowly opened the door to see it had been pretty well ransacked but otherwise all was silent which was good news for them.
"Sheesh, man, they tore this place apart. How can ya be sure yer scythes are even still here?"
"Heh, I'm Hades. I can be tricky, and let's face it: I wouldn't be stupid enough to keep those particular scythes out in plain view." Hades went behind his desk before messing about with a slightly disturbing statue of a wailing pony that was the center-piece of a blood fountain, "And a poke here...and a push here...and shabam!"
With that the fountain split wide-open to reveal a rather brightly glowing box that just begged to be open.
"So Ah take it they're in there?"
"Precisely." Hades produced a somewhat demonic looking key and inserted it into the chest before opening it, "Now mortals, gaze upon the ultimate in reaping power!"
"...."
"...."
"I see the two of you are quite stunned by its sheer appearance."
"....they're 8-bit."
"Pixelated scythes? Really, Hades? Really?"
"Pish-posh! Don't you two know anything about style? Besides..." Hades lifted up his true scythes all to the familiar jingle of an 'Item Get' tune, "Didn't Disky tell you? I'm a sucker for retro stuff."
"...80's references aside, what's the plan now that you've got yer super weapon?"
"The plan?" Hades smirked before levitating one of his scythes, "We go free Dark, hope the Elements show up at the opportune moment, and in general just give them Hell."
"Ah, so basically the same plan formula you seem to enjoy sticking to, boy." Discord chuckled, "In other words, charge in and hope to the heavens everything falls into place."
Ryan sighed before shrugging, "Well, it's always worked before. Let's do this."

"...could you guys use some help?" Dark struggled against the chains holding him once more, "It would seem you're all having a rough time trying to agree on what to do."
"Sssssssuch insolence! We've got to finish him, you foolsssssssss!"
"Yes. Good. Do it! Do it!"
"...Pupatine, stick a sock in it." A human female groaned loudly, "It's always "Do it" this, and "Do it" that. Why in the heavens would I listen to someone that lost to a teenager with a glowing sword and his crippled father?"
"That's why you should follow what I say!"
"Peh, yeah right! You lost to an overgrown metal carriage with a mysteriously appearing and disappearing trailer....who also had a glowing ball of light. Seriously, what is it with most of you villains and meeting your ends at the hands of a hero with some type of light-based plot device?"
Dark snickered, "You tell me, Jessie-baby. After all, as I recall, you lost to the same type of device...did you not?"
A frustrated growl was heard before this so-called "Jessie-baby" turned to face Dark, "...the name is Jessica....and you. You and your "precious, precious princesses" are the bane of my existence. For so long I suffered down here because you put an end to my plans...but now. Oh yes...now you're here. I don't know how, but you are. And with that my chance for revenge is nigh. There's no way those Princesses can risk coming here....and let's be honest."
"Hmmm?"
Jessica began to laugh wildly before smirking at Dark, "There isn't a pony alive that would be crazy enough to come down here after you. So you, my friend, are boned. And once we finish with you...then this world will pay for trapping us in this wasteland. For forgetting about us...soon it will all burn."
Dark yawned before smacking his mouth mockingly, "So you say. There's nopony alive that would be crazy enough...haha."
"Why...why are you laughing?"
"Haha....because you couldn't be more wrong. Not only is there somepony crazy enough to come down here after me....there also happens to be someone crazy enough to pull them all together for it."
Jessica raised an eyebrow, "...someone? What are you rambling about?"
Dark merely laughed before looking up at the plateau that jutted out above where the group of villains stood, "Why ruin it, Jessie-baby? Any minute now, you'll see just what I mean."

Moments before, while Jessica was giving her little evil rant...
"....so Hades?"
"Yes, Ryan?"
"...Ah can't help but note some of those villains look rather familiar. Like someone decided to ponify baddies Ah'm familiar with from fictional worlds."
"Hmmm? Oh. That?" Hades laughed softly, "That one's easy. See, it's like this: Hell isn't cheap to run, there's all the brimstone and fire and lava costs. Not to mention all the labor costs and, well, those fountains don't make their own blood. That stuffs not cheap, ya know? No, those models are too costly for us...it's just cheaper to import the stuff. So I made a deal with the ruling deities of other realities and planets to jail their villains when they die in exchange for a little do-re-mi."
At that Ryan face-palmed, "So basically...you whored out Hell to make more money."
"...well when you say it like that, it sounds really bad."
Discord rolled his eyes, "Not that this isn't thrilling pre-fight dialogue, but I do believe Dark just about is to the point where he sets up our dramatic entrance."
"Hmmm?" Ryan listened intently and gasped, "God! Yer right! We can't miss our chance...so then...we just go in guns blazing, eh?"
Hades smirked, "Pretty much...try not to die, okay?"
"...Why ruin it, Jessie-baby? Any minute now...you'll see just what I mean."
"That's the sign. Let's go!" Hades shouted before leaping off the plateau.
"Sounds good to me." Ryan remarked, pulling Malus Domestica out and following suit, "Propogate! Malus Domestica!"
Jessica twitched, "....apples? Apples!? APPLES! I. Hate. Apples!"
"Well then...what do ya think of these apples?" Dark smirked as he broke the chains holding him and drew his sword, "Betcha hate these ones just as much."
"But...you! How?!"
Dark stuck out his tongue before laughing, "Really? How? I, along with mah friends, were responsible for sending quite a few of you down here. If I helped do all that, did you honestly think some piddly little chains could hold me? Please...I just had to wait till the cavalry arrived. Although...."
Discord noted Dark was looking at him, "...Darkness."
"Cordy...I'm glad ta see ya again. Even though ya won't admit it, I can tell something changed." Dark walked over before holding out his closed fist, "It's good to have ya back...you are back, right?"
Discord looked at the held up fist for a few moments before grinning widely and bumping it with his own fist, "Who can say? Either way, this looks like fun and you know me...I do so like fun. Especially when it involves you, Darkness."
Dark snickered before laughing loudly, "Yeah, same old Cordy..."
"Uhm, guys...it's nice and all that yer havin' yer little reunion and such..." Ryan knocked away some odd, goopy purple creature before regrouping with Hades, "But the fight kinda started so....yeah...help us maybe?"
"What's the matter boy, the Smooze too much for you?"
"Now, now Cordy...you know only the Flutter Ponies were able to stop it." Dark spun his sword around and snapped his fingers, "Well, until you realized we could just freeze the horrific living embodiment of a buk—yeah, I can't finish that. Even for me that one is bad. Oh well...Freeze in the Emptiness of Space! Stardust Eclipse!"

"Wha—Ack!" Ryan leapt back, dodging the sparkling blast that emanated from Eclipsis and turned this so-called Smooze into a giant ice-cube, "A little warning next time would be appreciated!"
"Oh you're fine! Now then, where were we?" Dark heard a loud grunt and raised his sword to block the metal fan Jessica had brought down towards him, "Oh, you wanna play again huh?"
"Damn you, Darkness Shade. Once again all you can do is mock me." Jessica growled, slashing away at him over and over again, "Why?! Why won't you just die?!"
"Already died once...didn't care much for it at the time. And now that I'm back, I'd rather not die again till I tie up a lot of loose ends." Dark wound back and planted his foot in her gut, sending her flying backwards, "You only cared for your own selfish desires...and didn't care who you hurt in the pursuit of them."
"Bastard." Jessica spit before readying her stance again, "Those ponies...they had something I wanted and I was going to take it no matter what! Flaming Hell Wheels!"
"...I pity you." Dark growled, smacking away her flaming fans before running towards and grabbing her, "Even after all this time down here you never could get it through your head that you never had a chance with me. I loved Luna...and still do. Nothing will change that...no amount of magic...no amount of fighting...no amount of anything you do will ever make me feel that way towards you."
"Let go of me!" Jessica shook in his grasp before shouting loudly and shooting out a burst of staticy magic.
"Ack!" Dark growled, flying backwards and colliding with Discord, "...forgot she could do that."
"Are you okay?" Discord yawned, snapping his fingers and watching as a number of the villains there suddenly found themselves encased in gelatin, "I mean, these small fries aren't too much trouble...but you seem to be having trouble with this one. Who is she, anyway?"
Dark stood up before dusting himself off, "Someone from before we met you...someone that couldn't take no for an answer...and tried to hurt those close to me just to get me."
Discord looked at the angry woman and frowned, "...you mean get to you, right?"
"...you heard what I said."
"Hmmm...I see."
"Guys, I know you're filling out that lovely backstory of yours some more but....uhm..." Hades swiped with his scythes, sending a few other villains flying, "We're still having some trouble here...and the Elements are nowhere to be seen so....probably should help out a bit more. I mean, if you aren't too busy that is."
Dark turned to see Jessica glaring at him but otherwise unmoving, "...Ryan! Close your eyes!"
"What?" Ryan turned to see him holding Eclipsis towards the ground, "Hades!"
"I got it!"
Noting his friends had closed their eyes, Dark smirked before uttering two words, "Obfuscate! Eclipsis!"
Counting off five beats, Ryan opened his eyes to see everything as it should be...at least for him and his friends that is. As for the rebellious villains, they seemed to be a bit disoriented as they stumbled about and bumped into one another.
"...this trick." Jessica grumbled, "That damn sword of yours. Just as sneaky as their damn magic."

"Y'all get the feeling something's happening right about now?"
"Why whatever do you mean, AppleJack?"
"What Ah mean is Ah think a throw-down is underway and we're missing out on it!"
Twilight scrunched her face up for a moment, "...she's right. I can sense some higher-level magic going down. And...some magic I've never even felt before. Weird. I think I know who three of them are but...who's the fourth?"
"Uh, guys, does it really matter?" Spike sighed, "If big bro is in trouble maybe we should just, ya know, get a move on as fast as we can."
"Actually, if I might suggest an idea." Lyra raised her hoof to get their attention, "Seeing as it's become obvious they know we're here now...why not just teleport to them?"
Twilight merely blinked before groaning at such a simple solution, "...everypony hold on! We're doing this now!"
And with a quick flash, the seven mares and one dragon poofed on a direct course to where the throw-down was going down. As it was, the group landed and immediately assumed their battle stances....only to be surprised to see that Ryan, Discord, and Dark were rather caught up fighting what appeared to be the more higher-ranking villains of the group. Or at least, that's what Twilight deduced since the other ones were apparently too scared to even try attacking.
"Well well, looks like the Elements finally showed up." Hades chuckled as he finished shooting out chains to keep the villains they'd already beaten from moving, "Nice ta meet you all in person at last."
"Who the heck is that guy?!"
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight gasped before sighing, "That would be the Lord of the Underworld: Hades."
"Oh please, no need to be so formal. I know I'm pretty legendary but I'm just a guy that does his job." Hades chuckled, "But hey, nice ta see y'all here at last!"
"Uh, guys?" Ryan groaned, knocking away Pupatine and dodging a lightning blast, "Kinda still fighting here."
Now Jessica had been watching this all curiously, especially after Hades had mentioned the Elements showing but...
"What nonsense is this? I don't see those pesky princesses...merely several, inexperienced looking mares wearing some silly jewelry."
Dark snickered, "Those ones are far from inexperienced Jessie....and just to clue you in on something: that jewelry? That's the Elements."
Jessica laughed, "Oh such humor...but no seriously."
Dark merely shrugged before smirking...something she didn't take too well.
"You...you're serious. What nonsense is this?!"

As this was going on, Ryan was making moves to finish dealing with Pupatine once and for all.
"My but yer stubborn...much like the version of you Ah know." Ryan slashed at him, watching as the old dog leapt back before glaring at him.
"You mess with something you don't understand, boy." Pupatine grinned before blinking as Ryan kicked him in the face, "Oh man, what the hell?"
"Sorry, but only one slightly creepy, old guy can call me "boy"...and that's Disky."
Discord made a face and sighed, "...Gee, thanks boy. Nice to know what you think of me."
"Not the time, Disky." Ryan cleared his throat, "Besides....you lost to an emotional teenager and his cripple father...not exactly something that paints you as all that threatening."
"You underestimate the power of the Dark Side, boy." Pupatine growled before unleashing a large blast of lightning right towards him.
"Predictable to the end." Ryan spun the two components of Malus Domestica around before embedding them in the ground, "Absorb!...oh shit! Ah forgot! Uhm...uhm....oh! Right! Absorb! Bottomless Apple Branches!"
"...apples?"
"Heh, apples!" Ryan chuckled, watching as the web of branches sprouted between the two swords and took in all of Pupatine's attack with ease, "And now...yer about to get a shocking surprise."
"...you just used branches to absorb my lightning? How...I don't even care now. Just...just finish me off. Do it! The torture is better than dealing with this crap."
"You asked for it." Ryan held out his arm as the branches blossomed and bloomed forth apples, "Swarm! Death Apple Blossom!"
And with that the super-charged apples honed in on their target, knocking Pupatine off of the conveniently high up ledge he'd been on and down a rather dark pit all while his screams echoed off the walls. Ryan panted, glad that it finally seemed like the last of the bigger villains had been handled, "Huff...heh...younger me would've never believed he'd one day get to fight a version of him. Now then....what is—"
And that's when Ryan heard a rather large roar of anger before turning to see this Jessica person suddenly looking a bit different, "Does...does she have fire and lightning spinning around her?"
"This is completely unacceptable! I will not tolerate such bullshit!" Jessica laughed maniacally, "But! Seeing as these whelps are the new Bearers, perhaps this is good news after all. They won't know what hit them when I'm done with them! Now die!"
"What?! No!" Ryan shouted, "Dammit! Malus Domestica can't absorb an attack like that right now even if Ah could get there in time! LADIES!"

Just as it seemed her attack would strike Twilight and the others, a blur of movement caught there eye and suddenly the attack was caught by...
"Dark?!"
Dark chuckled softly as the lightning crackled in his hand before he closed his fist over it, "You have a terrible memory, don't you? Allow me to remind you of something...one of the reasons you lost...and one of the reasons you will not be allowed to succeed here as well."
Ryan, now with the others, could only stare at Dark curiously before nudging Discord, "Uhm...what's he doing?"
"Something I've not seen him do in a long time, boy." Discord grinned, "As I can sense, you've recently hit this state as well, haven't you? I know the purple booksmart of yours certainly has."
"Wait...are you saying?" Ryan watched as the lightning began to flow around Dark, illuminating him slightly and causing his hair to spike out in all sorts of random directions, "He...he's been pushed to that point too?"
"Indeed." Discord pulled out a tub of popcorn and began munching, "Oh yes...time for the light show to begin."
"...it's been a while since I needed to do this. Even when I fought Cordy, I didn't need to go this far..." Dark glared coldly at Jessica, "In fact... if memory serves me right, it was when we fought you that I last had a need for this state. What is it about you that brings the worst out?"
"You...I will not come this far to have my revenge taken away like this!" Jessica unleashed her attacks but they were all for not as Dark deflected each one, "...why do you side with them?"
"Now that's a dumb question." Dark chuckled as lightning flickered all around him, "Because they aren't an evil, selfish bitch that tried to hurt others. Pretty easy choice there, all things considered. Now stop this nonsense...you're outclassed in this fight, just like back then."
Jessica stared at Dark and his friends before reaching into her pocket and producing...a key?
"NO!" Hades shouted, "How did you get that?!"
"Hahaha...you shouldn't have left this just lying around. And now...!" Jessica took the key before plunging it into her chest, "Ugh! Yes!"
Twilight Sparkle seemed a bit panicked as she ran over to Hades, "Please tell me that's not what I think it was."
"...I'm afraid so, Twilight Sparkle. That...that was the Key to Hell."
"Uhm...what...what does that mean?"
"What it means, Fluttershy, is we are in trouble." Twilight looked at the flames pouring into Jessica, increasing her magical powers, "She's taking in all of Tartarus' powers for herself. According to the legend, it's supposed to be Hades' fail-safe device in case something horrible goes wrong in Tartarus. It allows him to take complete and direct control of all the functions down here..."
"Tarnation..." AppleJack was a bit stunned by this revelation, "But if that there crazy woman did that...what does that mean fer us?"
Dark growled softly, "It means trouble...to think she'd go to such lengths just because of me."
"I say, we certainly are getting in deep this time, aren't we boy?" Discord tried to lighten the mood, "Keyword being tried there...even I don't think I have a joke in me to alleviate how possibly screwed we might be."
"That...that's a rare show of straight-forwardness from ya, Disky." Ryan frowned, "That just tells me the shit really has hit the fan. Hmmm...."
"Even with the Elements...I doubt we can beat her."
"I won't believe that, Hades!" Dark growled, brandishing Eclipsis and charging at Jessica, "I won't let you ruin anymore lives!"
Despite his best efforts, however, he couldn't penetrate the flames that were giving her the super-charge and eventually he was knocked backwards by explosive force of Hell's might. Shaking his head, he tried to think of something, anything they could do.
"Ah know that look."
Dark turned to Ryan and nodded, "Yeah...any suggestions?"
Ryan thought for a moment before turning to his herd, "Ah think so...if Hades is how Ah think he is anyway."
"Apple Ryder...why are ya looking at us like that?"
"You heard what he said...even with y'all there's no guarantee we'll win." Ryan pulled out his wand before smiling at all of them.
Spike, noting what he was most likely going to do, shook his head, "Ryan! Don't do this!"
"Ah have to, little bro. Ah have to protect mah family...just remember this: Ah will always love y'all."
Hearing that, most of them pieced together what he was going to do as he raised his wand but could do nothing but shout as he teleported them out of Tartarus and to somewhere safe. Putting the wand away, Ryan turned to the others with a determined look on his face, "Dark. Hades. Disky. Now that they're safe...I think I know something we can do."
"...but why?"
"That's easy, Hades: you said yerself even with them we didn't have a chance. So Ah wasn't gonna risk them. Now then...if yer the kind of Lord of the Underworld that Ah know you are, you have a contingency plan for this, don'tcha?"
Hades put a hoof to his chin and nodded slowly, "I do but...it's the ultimate fail-safe to contain anything that happens."
"Well then do it!" Dark shouted, pointing at Jessica, "She's almost taken all of Hell's power for herself now!"
"Dear boys, I do believe I know why he's so hesitant. As the three of us don't belong here, he's unsure what may happen to us once he sets it off."
"Discord is right...for once."
"Hey!"
"Either way, it most likely will eject you three somewhere outside Tartarus...but I don't know where and what other effects it will have on you." Hades stomped the ground, "...we don't have a choice though, do we?"
"Exactly." Ryan holstered his sword, "That's why I sent them back home. I only had enough left in me for that after taking on those other guys...so let's do this!"
"Heh, I'm in there with ya, partner." Dark laughed, "At least we'll be in it together, right Cordy?"
"Oh, I suppose if I must. This is all a part of Friendship, isn't it?" Discord smirked, "What better way to become reacquainted than with a crash course?"
"Very well." Hades stepped forward before his scythes began circling around him, going faster and faster as he focused his magic. As they watched, the light became more intense before finally there was a loud screeching noise and then...nothing. Nothing but empty blackness...

Author's Note:
So folks, what a crazy little adventure through hell that turned out to be. Ah think Ah did right on the references and all that jazz....as well as building up the world and...*snickers* Ah'm, Ah'm sorry....it's just that, Ah imagine most of you that follow mah update blogs are wondering why Ah left at a cliffhanger when Ah said Ah wouldn't.
Well, gonna let ya in on something...Ah figured Ah'd be a little mischievous and pretend that the chapter came to an end by making a FALSE Author's Note using certain features available here.
Ah must admit, Ah wasn't sure whether to or not, but Ah have a feeling most of you will be amused...hopefully. Either way, just keep scrolling down some ways to where the story picks back up after Ah decided to not leave y'all with a cliffhanger after two months of waiting. Enjoy!

"Ugh....."
Ryan groaned softly as he lay...somewhere, his eyes closed as he tried to focus through the haze his headache was giving him. Wherever he was it was dark out, as even with closed eyelids no sign of light was visible.
'...partner...?'
Ryan groaned again before smiling, "Guess yer back where ya started, huh?"
'....better to be free in yer noggin than to be trapped in hell. By the by...do you feel off?'
"Now that ya mention it, Ah do feel like something is the matter here." Ryan sighed before finally opening his eyes, "...what?"
There in front of his eyes was something brown, but also red...and it felt warm as well. Upon further thought, he felt whatever his was lying on most of his body and when he caught sight of a twitching tail out of the corner of his eye he knew exactly what he was seeing.
"Disky."
"Oh dear boy...you really are comfortable." Discord chuckled, "Now I see why those ponies of yours are always so eager to cuddle up with you."
"...that was creepy. Now get off."
Feeling him roll off of him, Ryan slowly sat up and looked around, "Trees...and trees...creepy ones too."
'Oh lovely, we're in the depths of the Everfree somewhere.'
"How annoyingly predictable, but there's no doubt of it." Ryan glanced to see Discord just sitting there, "Are...are you okay there, Disky?"
"Hmmmm, uhm, yes!" Discord quickly stood up, "Just resting, dear boy, yes!"
"...okay. So do you two happen to know where in the depths we might be?"
'....not really. This place doesn't look like any part I know of...even from way back when Tia and Woona had their original castle here.'
"...original castle?"
"Oh yes, I do remember you telling me about that one day, Darkness." Discord nodded, "Yes, the original castle of the Two Sisters. I have to wonder if it's even still out here."
"But wait....Ah thought that the Everfree had something to do with you, Disky."
"Oh it did...but they had already moved on from this lovely little place before then." Discord picked Ryan up and pointed in one direction, "I feel we'll have luck going in this direction."
'...and what makes you say that, Cordy?'
"Do you question Pinkie's sense? Or Ryan's ridiculous luck? No. So don't question my all-knowing chaos powers."
Ryan sighed and face-palmed, "Chaos....ugh, well it's as good a guess as any. Ah'm just worried about something."
'The Girls?'
"No...the fact that mah abilities seem quite weakened." Ryan held out Malus Domestica, "Even mah sword isn't shining as brightly."
'Hmmm...the gem seems dulled. That would explain the off feeling we have.'
"How about you, Disky, how are you feeling?"
Discord pointed at himself, "How am I feeling, boy? Well I feel....just fine."
"Ya...ya hesitated there."
"I assure you I'm okay now come on! Have to get you home to those ponies of yours and such." Discord began pushing Ryan on...but his face seemed to show he was hiding something.

"Three weeks....and still no sign of y'all. Apple Ryder....where are ya?"
Three weeks had indeed passed since that fateful encounter in Hell and still their beloved human—and Discord—had yet to return. Twilight had tried in vain to teleport back the moment they had arrived in Sweet Apple Acres but something had prevented that. After trying over and over, she eventually just settled for running back to the entrance but after hours of searching they had gotten nowhere.
"Twi...Ah know how hard it is to not be able to help him but...we gotta trust him. He trusted us back when we fought Discord, right? He knew what he was doing...and he was doing what our stallion does best: protect his herd. He'll come back to us, Ah know it."
AppleJack sighed softly, remembering her words as she sat where she always did in the early evening lately: a small hill overlooking the edge of the forest that bordered Sweet Apple Acres. She had come here every day since then waiting patiently and hoping. Most days her herdmates would join her, but Rainbow and Lyra were the only ones that showed up every single day due to the others' various responsibilities. Even Winter Wrap-Up was a bit hard to get through and focus on for all of them as they could only wonder just where their human was. As it was, Twilight and the others had just shown up to join her and took their place on the blanket that was laid out, "Hello, AppleJack. Still nothing, huh?"
"Yeah, Twi, it's all quiet."
"Don't worry, he'll show up! I just know he will!"
"Haha, Ah know, Lyra, it's just been so long...Ah miss him something fierce."
Rainbow Dash hugged her friend, "We all miss that goofball...but hey! He has Dark with him...and Discord. Even if they ended up somewhere crazy I know they'll be okay."
The others had similar words of encouragement which just warmed Apps heart: even though they all loved Ryan, they knew that Ryan and Apps had something special besides that and so they did what they could to keep her spirits high. As they sat and enjoyed the comfort of being there for one another, the sky began to cloud up and rain started to threaten....before it slowly began to fall.
"Come on, AJ. No need staying out here and getting sick."
Knowing Rainbow was right, she helped the others gather up the blanket before turning to go...and then she paused. She wasn't sure why, but something told her to turn back around and when she did...she began to cry, "...Apple Ryder? Apple Ryder!"
Hearing his nickname, the others turned and glanced towards the forest's edge before seeing something slowly emerging from the depths. And once it cleared the edge, there was no mistaking what they saw: their human had finally made his way back home to them. Needless to say, it didn't take long before they began running towards him.

"Come on Disky...we're almost there...." Ryan grunted as he carried Discord's slightly limp form on his shoulder, "Ah just feel it...."
Discord groaned quietly before laughing softly, "Dear boy...you've been saying that for hours now..."
"Ah know...but this time..."
'...Ryan.'
"Ah know we're there...Ah won't stop....till we get home." Ryan grunted, his body covered in signs of various struggles and hardships, "Ah won't...give...up."
And so he pressed on until, against all odds, it seemed as if the light in the forest began to increase. At first Ryan felt this was just another unusual clearing but then...
'Ryan...the forest is thinning.'
Sure enough, with a few more steps he finally reached the forest's edge and saw a sight he was starting to wonder if he'd ever get to see again, "Home...."
"...heh....you...you actually did it, boy." Discord coughed before smiling, "But...why didn't you just leave me? You would've gotten here so much quicker."
"Heh...the same reason you took that blow for me...and saved me from those chimeras." Ryan smirked, "Because we're friends."
"...friends." Discord closed his eyes, a few tears slipping out, "...I missed being that word more than I realized. Thank you....Ryan..."
When he felt him go fully limp, Ryan's eyes widened as he shook him a bit, "Disky? Oh crap...he passed out. That poison must be affecting him more than he let on. We've gotta hurry...maybe find the girls and...Apps?"
He was a bit stunned to see them running right towards him...but quickly tossed that aside as he began running full bore to meet them halfway, "Girls! Discord! Poison! Trouble! Forest! Ah.....ugh!"
AppleJack caught Ryan as he fell to his knees, "Apple Ryder! What happend to ya? Are ya hurt?"
"Yeah but....not as much as Disky...he...poison...trouble...princesses..."
"Ryan...calm down. Breathe." Twilight looked over Discord, "I don't understand....how...how could something affect him like this? The power his magic holds should make something like poisoning nearly impossible."
"That's the...problem." Ryan panted, trying to calm himself, "When Ah sent ya away, Hades....he used a failsafe to stop Jessica. Locked down hell....but sent us flying deep into the Everfree where even Disky and Dark didn't know where we'd ended up."
Rainbow raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Okay but...that still doesn't explain what happend to you three? There are three of you, right?"
'I'm here if that's what yer asking, Speedy Snooze.' Dark laughed softly before groaning, 'But there was a side-effect...that spell severely drained our magical abilities to rather low levels. For Ryan it was almost as if he was a normal human but for Disky...well, he had some magic but only enough to help us survive.'
Ryan looked at Discord's limp body with a frown, "He didn't let us know...not until we fought those Chimeras and....erk..."
"Ryan!"
Ryan had grunted before falling nearly limp in AppleJack's forelegs, "T-Sparks...quickly...the Princesses. Send a letter....they'll...know how to help Disky...Ah'm just...so glad...we made it back home to see yer all alright."
With that he closed his eyes, the exhaustion finally getting to them after their ordeal. Going into quick action mode, the others quickly picked up both him and Discord while Spike and Twilight got to work contacting Celestia and Luna as they rushed to town as quick as they could.

"Nnngh...." Ryan felt stiff all over, his body screaming as he woke up to find himself—once more—in a hospital room, "...Ah feel like Ah was just here. Ah'm making a bad habit of this..."
Checking over his body, he could seen numerous bandages covering many a place on his person and the ache...the overwhelming stiff ache he felt was causing him much grief to even do something as simple as breath. Very carefully moving his head about, he looked to see he wasn't alone in this room. For there, next to him, lie Discord of all people looking in worse shape than he was, "Disky..."
"Ah'm telling ya it was okay that we left to have something ta eat, Lyra. We've been sitting with him for nearly 12 hours straight...we gotta eat or we'll start feeling bad too." AppleJack walked in with both her as well as Rarity, "The others are talking with the Princesses now so we've gotta just be patient and—"
"Howdy ladies...and please don't get too excited. Mah head is still trying to wrap itself around mah body's various signals."
"Apple Ryder?"
"Oh darling! I knew you'd be okay!" Rarity ran over before stopping short, "Oh right...my gentleman did request a quieter welcome."
"Thanks m'lady...how long was Ah out this time?"
"Somewhere around four days, Ry-Ry."
"Four...not a record but still not nice, eh Heartsy? Haha." Ryan smiled as he felt her nuzzle his cheek, "What about Disky?"
"What did the Princesses say? Ah think it was that it was close but he'll be alright...or somethin' like that. That any later and, well, even Discord wouldn't have been able to come back from this." AppleJack frowned, "Ah still don't get the full of it but, somethin' about that poison being a bit odd compared to other Chimeras...some such thing like that."
"Ah see..." Ryan nodded, "Ugh...Ah really wish Ah could get up and stretch mah legs."
"As much as I would love to assist with that, darling, considering how many wires and tubes you have attached to you I don't think that would be the best idea."
"Hmm, you've got a point, Rares. Ya think Ah'd be used to things being stuck places they don't belong with how often Ah've been finding mahself here in the hospital but..."
'Some pains can never be overcome. Especially those ones...certain places were not meant to have stuff stuck in them.'
"....that was probably far too specific, Dark."
'Sorry, Lyrs, but my filter isn't exactly up and running either yet.' Dark sighed, 'I'm doing my best to help Ryan heal quicker but...he really pushed harder than he ever did before, especially without most of his enhanced abilities. I'm actually pretty impressed he did what he did...but, again, that is a reason I wouldn't have my host be any other.'
"Yeah, yeah...you just don't wanna get kicked out. Freeloader." Ryan smirked, "Hmm....still so tired. Oh...it's been a long time, right?"
"Three weeks or so, yeah. Why?"
"Ah was just wondering, Apps, is...is Trixie better?"
AppleJack blinked before nodding, "She is...sorta. She woke up at least, but she's still taking her time to heal up. She apparently doesn't remember much when she wore the Amulet."
'That sort of lines up with what we thought, right?'
"Yeah...she said a few things that didn't really seem possible for her to know. Particularly, certain things directed towards you, Dark." Ryan yawned, "Well, that's good...thankfully she's okay. When Ah can move again, have ta...apologize...in person....gonna sleep...now...."
With that Ryan lost the struggle to stay awake and fell asleep again, dreaming of happy things once more: friends, family, and the memories they all shared.

"Magic...it's a hell of a thing." Ryan joked, stretching his limbs a week later, "Ah guess it's nice to have such powerful friends, eh?"
'That's one way to put it...how ya feeling, Cordy?'
Discord groaned, "I feel ridiculous...and for me, that's saying something."
"Oh come now, Disky, it could be worse."
Discord motioned at himself, "And what could be worse than having to stay in this ridiculous pony form till the rest of my powers return?"
Ryan simply smirked before very simply stating, "...ya could be a human."
Discord's pupils went to shrink before he realized something, "...well, I'd have hands at the least."
"Well, Discord, is that permission to alter your healing state?" Celestia grinned a very trollish grin before charging up her horn, "I can happily oblige if that's what you wish."
This time his pupils did shrink before he shook his head, "No! No! That's quite fine, dear Tia. I'm more than fine with staying this way just a little longer till I can be my ever handsome self again. By the way...what's to happen to me now that this little escapade is over?"
"Well, Discord, that is the question now isn't it?" Luna paced about, "From what we've been told you originally tried to separate Ryan from the others for some reason...no doubt something sinister."
"Now now, Woonie, no need to be upset." Discord rolled his eyes, "Yes, perhaps I had some ridiculous notion rolling about that maybe getting him alone would give me ample time for revenge...but then something unexpected happened."
"Apple Ryder said something like that, that y'all had a discussion about the past."
"The cowgirl is right, though I see you chose to keep what we talked about a secret."
Ryan simply shrugged at this, "Well, Ah just figured it wasn't important to and you could mention it if ya felt ya should. Either way, like Ah told Cellie and Lunes, ya seemed a bit different after that..."
Celestia nodded, "Yes...from the few details we've gotten about your harrowing adventure through the Everfree, it would seem that whatever the two of you talked about changed you, Discord."
"Oh pish-posh." Discord waved a hoof about, "I simply had to make sure our dear boy came back in one piece. Were he not to return in anything but a whole state...well, you don't have to have nearly endless magic to see what would happen."
Celestia chuckled before smirking, "So you say...but recall that we were all friends once, Discord. And I can still tell when you're lying to me."
"Moi? Lying? Oh, Tia...such accusations to make."
Luna simply rolled her eyes, "Whatever the case, it would appear you've got at least one person willing to vouch for your change...two, technically, considering my Darkness vouches for you as well. As such...we will allow you to maintain your freedom."
"Yes!" Discord shouted, pausing in mid-air with a hoof thrust triumphantly upwards.
"On the condition that Ryan and his herd keep an eye on you...for now, anyway."
Discord turned to look at her before falling to the ground, "Well...I suppose it's better than being a statue. I suppose this means I'll have to find a nice place to settle down here in Ponyville until I'm allowed more freedom. Well then, I best get looking!"
With that they watched as Discord's eyebrows shifted to his back, enlarged, and he flew away using them leaving the group of friends to watch, various looks on their faces at the sight.
'Who else but Cordy?' Dark joked, easily drawing everyone else into laughter, 'So then, before we get back to working on normalizing our life, we have one last thing to do.'
"Two, actually Dark. I don't know why you guys didn't, but Ah really need to shave this beard off. Ah just don't feel right not being clean-shaven."
Rarity smirked, "Oh must you, darling? The rugged look certainly fits you well."
"This from the mare who just loves how "smooth and sleek" my cheeks are after Ah shave." Ryan booped her on the nose, "Now follow me, Ah require yer assistance in my grooming. And then...Ah need to check on one last loose end from this whole adventure."

The Still Rather Tired and Somewhat Gloomy Feeling Trixie sat in her hospital bed, slowly eating the grape gelatin that remained from her lunch. Try as she might, she still couldn't remember what put her in this situation...save for one image that haunted her nightmares: a strange, mostly hair-less ape creature that had a look of death in its eyes as it—Trixie shuddered before hurriedly eating the rest of it, "...Trixie must wonder why things like this happen to her."
Glancing out the window and getting lost in thought, she was a bit surprised when the door to her room opened again, "...oh, it is you again, Twilight Sparkle. You needn't check up on me like this, you know? The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need pity visits."
"Charming as always, Trixie." Twilight smirked as she walked in with the others, "While we are here to visit you, someone in particular is here to check up on you after hearing how long you've been here."
"I keep telling you, nopony will help me get over this block you think I have that is keeping me in this bed." Trixie sighed before rolling her eyes, "Just who do you think this person could be to—"
Ryan noted the whole room go quiet when he stepped in and blinked, "Did....did Ah do something?"
And that was when Trixie let out the most terrifying, blood-curdling scream he'd ever heard any pony let out in his whole time here before she let loose a strange explosion of magic that had no effect as she simply hid under her covers, her flank showing as it shook back and forth. Looking to his herd for answers, they simply shrugged before he walked over and lifted up the covers, "Trixie?"
"Eeeep! Stay away you monster! Don't hurt me! I'm just a simple mare who is tired of getting shit on by life so why must you make things worse!?"
Ryan frowned, his heart aching at seeing her so upset, "Damn...that form really did a number on her subconscious didn't it? Trixie?"
Trixie flinched when she saw the covers slowly pull away and Ryan reaching towards her, "Please...please...don't hurt me anymore."
"Trixie..." Ryan gently placed his hand on her head before softly scratching her ears, "I never wish to hurt anyone or anypony....I only ever fight to protect those important to me."
Trixie shivered slightly less as Ryan's fingers worked their magic, "...then why do I have those...those dreams? Such intense anger...."
"Trixie...look at my eyes."
Trixie shook her head, "No..."
"Trixie..."
"No..."
"...just please..."
Trixie sat there for a short while before sighing and slowly opening her eyes, "...fine. But Trixie doesn't see why it will—tears?"
"Yes. To know I caused you such pain and agony when you were just as much a victim as anyone else because of that stupid Amulet." Ryan stared into her eyes as she gazed up at him, "My passion to protect those Ah care for...it reached a point even Ah didn't know existed. And Ah'm sorry you had to pay the price."
"...Trixie sees that perhaps you are not how her dreams paint you."
Ryan simply nodded, "Ah just hope you can forgive me."
"Hmmm....perhaps if you keep up with what those things you have are doing, then perhaps Trixie may just find it in her bountiful kindness to forgive you."
Snickering, Ryan kept up with the ear-scratching, "Funny enough, that ain't the first time Ah've been told that. Haha."

Though still a little uneasy around Ryan, Trixie eventually seemed to overcome the block keeping her hospitalized by actually getting to see him and not the...overamped, broken version of him. As it was she had left not too long after she was released, even though Twilight asked if she perhaps wanted to stay and maybe start over in Ponyville.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie feels that wandering is in her blood and so she must head off." Trixie had smiled when she left, "...although, perhaps I may return one day. After all, there are certain services that can only be had here after all."
Ryan shook his head at remembering that as he read the local paper this fine morning, "As always, it's with the hands and then the scratching and rubs."
'Hey dude, it's easy: in the land of hooves, the man with hands is king!'
"Haha, oh Ah so called that."
'...huh?'
"Ah already made such a joke, dude. Still, nice ta know Ah read ya well enough to guess you'd say something like that." Ryan sighed after his laughter faded, "Still....kinda upset Ah missed that Winter Wrap-Up thing. It sounded so curious and, as ya know partner, Ah do find it so fascinating how they control weather here."
'Oh well, there's always next year, right?'
Looking around the newly finished kitchen in the 2nd version of the house he'd designed, he gave a nod, "Yeah...it's pretty obvious Ah'm not going anywhere anytime soon."
Realizing the others were still sleeping and wouldn't be up for a while, Ryan cleaned up his breakfast plate and was about to go get dressed in something more fitting for the day until he heard a knock at the door.
"Huh? Now who could that be at this early hour?"
'Mac, maybe? Or Granny? Maybe Derpy with a package?'
"Good guesses but....hmmm." Ryan moved to the front door as the knocking occurred once more, "...wait. That knocking...it sounds like a song...no. No."
Taking a deep breath, Ryan opened the door and was not surprised in the least at what he saw: Discord, dressed in a robe, a bubble pipe in his mouth, and wearing the brightest, fuzziest pink slippers he ever seen. In fact, he almost had to double-check that he wasn't just standing on Fluffle Puff they were so crazy. After getting over the fact that Discord was standing there wearing what he was, Ryan sighed before smirking, "Disky...what the hell are ya doing?"
"Oh, isn't it obvious dear boy? I'm merely paying a visit to my neighbor."
'...what?'
"Ah agree, what?"
"May I come in? Of course I can, we're friends after all. And neighbors too, if you remember me saying!" Discord just walked up to Ryan and waltzed right in...literally as he waltzed with Ryan into the kitchen.
"....Ah'm just gonna roll with that. But please, explain...." Ryan watched as he went through the cabinets, "...what are ya looking fer?"
"Sugar....I figured to just come on by and ask if I could borrow a cup." Discord opened a pantry, shrunk down, and hopped in to look around, "You see, I was trying to make my morning tea and wanted to spice it up so....long story short, I set my sugar on fire."
"You...what? How? How do you..."
"Oh that's easy...I gave my sugar life so it could just hop on in while I worked on breakfast." Discord, annoyed he couldn't find it, hopped out of the cabinet and on to Ryan's shoulder, "You see, they, for whatever reason, decided to just miss the tea completely. So they dove alright...into my stove."
"They...they committed suicide? Rather than sweeten yer tea, they chose a firey end..."
"Oh yes." Discord leaned on his neck, "It was...sniff...so dreadful. Oh the humanity of it all...."
Instantly changing his tune, he hopped off of Ryan before landing back in a chair at normal size, "And I so thought: "Oh, I won't be able to have my tea." And then I remembered I had a neighbor that's also my friend!"
"Again...neighbor?"
"Yeah. See, the dear Princesses said I have to stay near you until I've proven that I'm more trustworthy. And since nopony in town seemed eager to rent me a house, I thought long and hard about where to go." At this he took Ryan by the hand and led him to the window, "And now you see what I've done. I thought on how there was so much empty land just sitting out there on the farm where you built this lovely abode for you and your herd, so I simply made myself at home."
Staring out the window, Ryan could indeed see a house now next to theirs that looked so chaotic it could only belong to one such as Discord. Face-palming and then dragging his hand down his face, Ryan shook his head before uttering that iconic phrase, "There goes the neighborhood....so then, ya said somethin' about sugar?"