//------------------------------// // Parent's Night Out // Story: The World Is Her Oyster // by DraconequusMaximus //------------------------------// As Luna settled in with the children back in Ponyville a stallion in Canterlot was wiping down a table. A mundane task he performed himself only when he was short staffed. After he finished he turned back to the cart beside him to return the centerpiece and salt and pepper shakers to their rightful place. However when he returned his attention to the table it had somehow vanished, leaving a small metal podium that came up to the base of his neck. Atop the new fixture was a lone red button. Anyone who knows anything could tell you that when you find a mysterious big red button just sitting there that you have to push it. It's just a universal law, to not press such an inviting button would destroy the entirety of reality. The stallion looked to both sides and behind himself, making sure no one was around to stop him. Finding no one he lifted his leg and pressed the button with his hoof, producing a satisfying click. All of the sudden the podium descended into the floor with a mechanical whir, which he watched intently. As soon as the button vanished from sight the building began to tremble, causing the stallion to panic. His panic was replaced with confusion as a portion of the ceiling opened up revealing total blackness. From the blackness what appeared to be a massive pinata dropped down on a rope. It was in the shape of an unrealistic looking llama of various bright colors. Just as the gigantic party favor stopped it's descent, the stallion let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He half expected it to explode or something. He stared at the anomaly with a look of confusion without blinking. He remembered to blink just as soon as a dull thwack noise could be heard from inside the colorful paper mache llama made him flinch. After several more thwacks the side of the llama burst open, producing a tidal wave of candy that poured from the wound. In the torrent of sweets was a dragon, a tall chimera holding a baseball bat, an alicorn princess, and several other ponies. After the flood ceased the group picked themselves up from the candy coated floor as they glared at the chimera. The stallion luckily recognized the group and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of them. He adjusted his curly mane and straightened his bow tie and approached the group. "Hello everypony. Discord, I'd appreciate it if you phoned ahead before doing something like that. I thought I was going to have a heart attack." The stallion said putting a hoof to his chest. "Sorry, I just got the okay for an entrance and I couldn't help myself, you know?" Discord replied sheepishly before snapping his eagle talon's fingers causing all the candy and the wounded pinata to disappear. "Well, no harm done I suppose. For those of you that haven't been here before I'm Fuzzy Navel, bartender and owner here at The Blue Moon. This is the most exclusive hangout for the most important ponies in the land." The stallion, apparently named Fuzzy said with a flourish as he slowly waved a hoof through the air, directing Bon Bon and Lyra's attention to their new surroundings. It resembled an incredibly fancy restaurant, having marble pillars close to all the walls and several amazing works of art hanging here and there. However, it felt more welcoming as it had several large comfortable sofas with tables where several ponies could be seen sitting together while watching a hoofball game on an enormous screen on a nearby wall. Lyra was almost positive that at least two of them were Wonderbolts. They were either too focused on the game to notice, or were ignoring Discord's antics all together. Before anypony could say anything else Fuzzy teleported away, though he only moved a couple yards. He was now standing behind a bar lined with stools that covered nearly the entire back wall of the spacious room they now occupied. Behind him was the largest assortment of bottles anypony had ever seen, they were all different colors, shapes, and sizes. "Since you two are first time visitors your first drinks are on the house. Just follow the rest of your group and a server will be with you shortly. We have a five star kitchen that can make anything you can think up as well. If you have any problems feel free to tell me, and enjoy your stay." Fuzzy said as he began wiping down the counter in front of him with his magic. With that the mares followed the regulars and found there was a special roped off section of the place specially made to accommodate royalty. There was a a wrap around sofa that could seat even Spike's full bulk and the rest of their group. It was a bit higher up than most too, likely intentionally as an equally large table sat in front of it. Once everyone was comfortable Trixie rang a bell that sat on the table to summon a server. After taking their orders the server departed, leaving them to themselves. Lyra was the first to speak up. "If you guys were trying to impress us you've succeeded, I feel like royalty already! This place is great! Restaurant, bar, and super comfy seats. All that's missing is a movie theater." The unicorn joked. To her surprise Twilight who was seated at the end of the couch beside Trixie popped the armrest up and pushed a button. After only a few seconds the wall in front of them opened up to reveal a full sized theater screen, the same size as the screen in Ponyville's own cinaplex. "Bonny, I think we died. This is heaven." Lyra exclaimed happily as she looked to her wife. "I'll admit, it is rather impressive. I can't imagine what a membership to this place costs. Are you really alright with bringing us here?" Bon Bon asked somewhat guiltily. "Well, Twilight and me get free access along with our spouses since we're royalty and you're our guests. Plus we get a discount on meals and drinks because Mom fronted Fuzzy the money to open the place." Spike said with a smile, hoping to alleviate the mare's concerns. "Yes, Celestia gave Fuzzy the money on the condition that he named it what she wanted. Luna's always been big on alcohol apparently, and Fuzzy's the best bartender in the world. It was a surprise for Luna when she got back about five years afterward from what I understand." Fluttershy added. "You're right Fluttershy. You should have seen the look on her face when she tried one of Fuzzy's cocktails." A warm voice rung out from behind them. All members of the rather large group turned to see the solar mare herself, Spike's adopted mother Celestia. She carried a drink in her aura and was wearing a relaxed smile. Bon Bon nearly fainted, but Lyra caught her before she slid off the sofa. Though Lyra was surprised to see the demigoddess wasn't wearing any of her usual golden regalia. Celestia took a seat next to Spike and Macintosh. "Hello everypony, so good to see you. I thought you might be coming here when Luna told me she was going to babysit." Celestia said before taking a sip of her drink. "Good to see ya too Celestia. Ah know yer a busy mare an' all, but seems like we see less an' less a' ya." Mac replied with a smile. "Yes well, there's been changeling sightings in several border cities near the Badlands. I've been trying to ease the nobles minds, but tonight I'm easing my own with a little help from this banana daiquiri and good company." Celestia said with a small smile. Bon Bon was currently going through some internal struggle. The mare she had come to know as an ageless goddess of life and prosperity for her entire life was basically a normal pony. She felt stupid for not realizing this sooner, but it was still difficult for her to accept. It was like she was eight again, and her cranky grandmother had just told her the tooth fairy wasn't real. Fortunately the white alicorn herself broke her from her miniature crisis when she took notice of the two newest faces. "Oh, how rude of me, I didn't see you two there. I'm almost certain you know who I am, but unfortunately I can't say the same about the two of you." Celestia said apologetically. "I'm Lyra, and this is my lovely wife Bon Bon. A pleasure to meet you Princess." Lyra said casually. Though she silently hoped Bon Bon would reboot soon. "Oh yes, your Pearl's little friend's parents. Spike wrote to me about her first day of school. It's a shame more foals can't be like your boy. That's why I home-schooled Spike, I was so worried somepony would hurt his feelings." Celestia said somewhat sadly. "Thank you very much for the compliment your majesty, we're so happy Cinnamint has made some friends." Bon Bon said proudly. It wasn't everyday the timeless ruler of your country complimented your parenting skills after all. A few moments later Fuzzy himself came by with their food and drinks, mostly to personally thank Celestia for her generous donation for the thousandth time. Lyra and Bon Bon were amazed by the quality of the food, and their drinks were just as good as they had been told. After quickly finishing her own meal Lyra took notice of Spike and Discord's meals. Spike had what appeared to be a bowl made out of some kind of coarse black mineral that contained what could only be described as molten lava. Discord's meal didn't seem as dangerous but was equally strange. He was eating a rather large ice cream sundae with all the normal toppings one would expect, plus what appeared to be a full range of pizza toppings. "So, Spike. I couldn't help but notice your dinner looks like a volcano." Lyra said as politely as she could. Spike looked at his meal for a second and chuckled before meeting Lyra's gaze again. "Heh, yeah believe it or not this is actually health food for dragons. It's got all sorts of metals, minerals, and stuff like that that dragons need to grow properly." Spike joked before tilting back the large rocky bowl and drinking the molten contents. Lyra and Bon Bon simultaneously looked Spike's massive form over, and then looked at each other. It was sort of hard to believe that Spike could get much bigger. Macintosh saw them stare and decided to clarify. "Ah know it's hard t' believe, but this lovable lug is only twenty three. He's due fer another growth spurt right before forty comes around an' another at sixty an' so on. That's why Twilight rigged him up that thing on his chest." Macintosh said pointing to the M.A.C. on his husband's chest. "Wait, so you're going to continue to grow even into your sixties?" Bon Bon said in disbelief. "Dragons are a bit different than ponies, ponies get stronger and bigger as they mature up until a certain point. Most species of dragon however just keep going, getting bigger and stronger as they age up until something kills them. Only a couple of species can actually die of old age and even then they live several thousand years." Spike said sadly. He wouldn't meet anypony's eyes the whole time he spoke, he just stared down into the molten contents of his bowl. "Back in the day you said you didn't know anything about dragons other than what you could learn from yourself. Where'd all this knowledge come from?" Lyra asked. "Pearl's biological mother used magic to fill my head with everything she knew about dragons. Culture, magic, and most importantly how to raise one. Though we sort of took our own route with caring for Pearl, but it was still really helpful. I plan on writing it all down soon. Hopefully get it published so maybe ponies and dragons can understand each other better." Spike replied, more like his normal self. "That very noble of you Spike, it sounds like a wonderful idea." Celestia said lovingly. After the plates had been cleared away the group settled in to watch a movie. Amazingly enough they were able to pick from several titles that weren't yet available to the public. Everypony had a say in what they picked, but there was of course some debate. "How about Attack of the Were-Dog?" Lyra recommended. "Ugh, please no. I would be able to look at my Diamond Dog friends without flinching and it would make work much harder." Trixie pleaded. "Where do you work? Weren't you a stage magician?" Bon Bon asked. "Trixie is Equestria's species relations expert. Her travels introduced her to many different intelligent races, and she was able to learn their languages and enough about their cultures to be an irreplaceable asset to the country." Celestia replied before finishing her third daiquiri. "It was Spike's idea. At first it was just with the Diamond Dogs, but eventually I started making trips to the griffon territories and Zebrica and strengthened our relations with them. I don't like being away from Twilight for very long, but it's necessary at times." Trixie said with a shrug. Lyra took a moment to look at the others in the group and think about their occupations. Macintosh runs the most successful orchard in history, Spike beats up monsters and saves lives, Celestia rules the country with her sister, Fluttershy is a well known veterinarian and animal whisperer, Discord is the semi-retired god of chaos, Trixie is essentially an ambassador, and Twilight is probably the most magical pony ever. All these things led to to one obvious conclusion. Her job sucks. "You guys have the coolest jobs ever! All I do is play music while posh ponies eat overpriced food." Lyra said in a tone just dripping with envy. "I thought you seemed familiar, you play at my favorite restaurant. You're quite good in my opinion, plus I think you're the only unicorn I've ever seen play an instrument with their hooves." Celestia mused. "Well thank you, I like being unique so I taught myself. Bonny is always saying I should have been an earth pony with how little magic I use." Lyra said with a small blush. "I could make you into an earth pony if you like. I offered to turn my dear Flutters into an alicorn but she declined. I can't blame her though. She is already perfect after all." Discord said before placing a kiss on Fluttershy's cheek. The canary yellow mare blushed deeply and shifted her wings nervously. Though she had improved her social skills public displays of affection were still a tad embarassing. Lyra thought about the offer for a moment while she looked up at her horn. However Bon Bon chose to remind her of an important fact to influence her decision. "Lyra, your parents spent a fortune to send you to the school for gifted unicorns when you were a kid. They're already pretty peeved you don't use magic very often. If you suddenly chose to become an earth pony they'd disown you." She told her wife seriously. "Good point, besides if I were an earth pony my music wouldn't be quite as unique." Lyra relented. Discord smiled at that and didn't say anything more about it. He seemed to appreciate the mare's love of being unique, something very under appreciated. After getting back on track and some more debate the group ended up watching a movie about a witch that tried to put the princess of a faraway land into an eternal sleep. It was pretty good, but Spike thought ending where the hero fights the witch who had transformed herself into a hydra was unrealistic because "Hydras aren't that fast." Once the movie was over Celestia excused herself as she had to be up bright and early for obvious reasons. The group had a few more drinks and resumed talking, mostly about their children. Spike however noticed Twilight wasn't drinking anything other than water and Trixie was being unusually clingy. "You two have been kinda quiet over there, anything on your minds? Twi? Trixie?" Spike said in the knowing way, but also trying to feign ignorance. As all eyes shifted to the pair their own eyes darted back and forth nervously until the collective stare became too much. They looked at one another and nodded in silent agreement. "We went to that R63 place you told us about Yesterday. Trixie came home as a stallion and with some extra magic, we're one hundred percent certain we're going to have a baby!" Twilight said absolutely brimming with happiness. Several minutes of congratulatory hoof-shakes and cheers were had. Everyone was happy for the two, and offered to lend a hoof or claw if they ever needed it. After the excitement died down the group huddled back together and let Twilight and Trixie lead the spell to take them all home, as Discord had had quite a few drinks. Though he still supplied the large amount of raw magic energy needed to take them home. In a flash they were all back in the living room of Spike and Macintosh's home. The lights were off, but a small electric night-light remained for the toddlers, making them visible. Pearl was asleep on the couch with Screwball, while Cinnamint was slumbering on the other sofa across the room. Luna was sitting on the same sofa on the opposite end, and for some reason Cob was under an overturned laundry basket that had several large books atop it. Fluttershy thanked Luna and the others for a lovely evening before taking Screwball gently as not to wake her. Discord held the door for her, Twilight and Trixie as they left for their own homes. Lyra carefully picked up Cinnamint and placed him on Bon Bon's back as she was currently steadier. They stuck around for a few minutes to speak with Luna, Spike, and Macintosh . "Did Cinnamint give you any trouble?" Bon Bon asked the princess of the night. "No, they were all perfect little angels. Though Pearl's pet tried to take up residence in my mane, but other than that things went fine. Your son is a very well behaved young stallion. It would be my pleasure to sit for you again if you need me too." Luna said with a bright smile. It warmed Lyra and Bon Bon's hearts greatly to have been complimented on their son by both of the royal sisters in one night. "Thank you, I'm sure Cinnamint would like that. Spike tells us you're wonderful with kids, have you ever considered a foal of your own?" Lyra asked. Luna's expression fell a bit at that. Lyra instantly knew she had hit a sore spot with that question. Spike and Macintosh both flinched as they heard the question leave Lyra's lips, making her feel even more certain she had done something she shouldn't have. Luna took a breath and released it, sighing sadly, but managing to keep her calm. "My sister and I aren't like most ponies. We cannot bare foals of our own, and adopting a pony would likely end in heartbreak as we are very long lived. My sister was blessed enough to find my dear nephew's egg and I am somewhat ashamed to admit I'm jealous of her for it. But I'm confident that if I wait long enough I will find a way to have children of my own." Luna explained. Even in the dim light it was easy enough to see a single tear run down her cheek. "I'm really sorry Luna, I didn't know." Lyra apologized. "It's quite alright, I'm only thirty five hundred, give or take. Plenty of life left in me." Luna joked as she wiped another tear from her eye. "That's the spirit Luna, don't fret about it. When the time comes you'll make a great mom." Spike said placing a claw on his aunt's shoulder. After a few more minutes of chatting with Spike and Macintosh Luna excused herself. She wanted to get a bit of dreamwalking in before she needed to sleep at sunrise. Lyra and Bon Bon were mostly quiet, until she left the awkwardness was nearly powerful enough to see. "So I kinda just ruined her night huh?" Lyra asked guiltily. "She'll be alright, it's just kind of a touchy subject. Don't worry about it, though. She's not one to hold a grudge. Plus she'll still definitely expect to sit for the kids next time we all head out together." Spike replied, dismissing Lyra's worry. "Are you sure we fit in? I froze up when your mother showed up." Bon Bon asked. "Ya'll are good ponies, that's all that matters. Sides, Discord even liked ya and he doesn't normally like anypony right away. Yer both welcome to join us whenever ya feel like, an Cinnamint can play with Pearl whenever he wants, so long as it's alright with you." Mac responded with an warm smile. After thanking Spike and Macintosh for the evening once again the mares walked down the dirt path back into Ponyville for the second time that week, feeling more certain they had all made good friends. Cinnamint snored lightly as they continued onward, his slumber kept safe by his new favorite babysitter.