//------------------------------// // Some Days You Just Want to Stay in Bed // Story: Walking in Mairephis // by Sunka //------------------------------// “THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!” Luna's hoof smashed into the polished marble floor, sending a poof of powdered stone around her long, elegant legs. It would take long hours of toil and labor for the repair crews to fix the hoof sized crater and bring the elegant gold and white marble floor back to it's original sheen. The Royal Canterlot voice rebounded off the walls and rafters of a room that was already designed to magnify a pony's speech. The effect rattled the numerous stain-glass windows. Those at least were designed to withstand a hurricane’s winds. It was far easier than replacing after every royal tantrum. “MY CHAMPION HAS BEEN...DAMAGED. WE DEMAND WERGELT!” Another stomp, another crater. She stared down at a light green stallion. The left side of his face had large, light splotches around his yellow eyes. Hidden in his shaggy dark green mane was the stub of his horn. Puss still oozed from his wound. His body was sagging, but at as much attention as he could muster. The “champion” was bracketed by two pegasi, one in a Wonderbolt uniform, the other a Shadowbolt. Their true coloration was masked by the glamor of their barde. Messer Wind, the Wonderbolt on the right was the larger and had a set of mechanical wings to replace his amputated appendages. Two unicorns were waiting in the wings of the formation The one on the left was a white stallion with a blue mane and tail, the other a mare with a yellow coat wearing a blue wide brimmed hat. A zebra hung back by the door watching the 'festivities.’ “I'm sorry, Princess,” started Shining Armor, former Captain of the Royal Guard and Celestia's current head of 'Special Tasks And Reconnoitering for Equestria', and the unicorn on the far left, but the ruler of the night cut him off. “We know it is through no fault of yours, good and obedient servant. It is the High Inquisitor Trixie we will press.” “Sister,” Celestia's calm voice broke through her sibling's tightly wound furry. Funny to think how she was in charge of change, yet always seemed to be the last to know these things. “Dear Sister, we no longer have wergelt as a punishment.” Luna glared back at her sister while pointing at the former unicorn. “He is without horn, how shall he perform his duties for us?” “He is a competent pony. You've told me so yourself. I'm sure he will-” “No,” said Yards, the dehorned unicorn. The ponies around him looked at him in disbelief. Softly the zebra whistled. “You're not competent?” asked Celestia. “No, I'm not doing whatever it is. I've been a 'good and obedient servant' for over a decade now. What's it gotten me? Dead friends, gallons of blood on my conscious, a broken horn and new friends that are running for their lives or locked up below us in the dungeon.” He turned around to walk away from his obligations. “You can't do this,” Astro Rey, the pegasus in the Shadowbolt barde whispered to him. “Hey, you're a Lunari too. Why don't you go be her champion, I'm going to go see a doctor like I should had two days ago.” He stormed out of the palace and past the barracks. He managed to make it three blocks from the castle proper before vertigo took him and he fell in the roadway. “Holy buck, you actually told the princesses off.” Yards looked up and saw a white and chocolate brown zebra standing over him, staring at him with umber eyes. He decided to ignore her as she kept talking. “I think they said something about ‘concussion’ so they'll likely let it slide.” Yards grunted. There were ponies behind him that he was blocking. He needed to get out of the road. “Help me up.” He held out his hoof. The zebra grinned a too big smile and helped pull him to his hooves. Wobbling, he leaned against her to clear the road while grunting a thanks. “Hey, I know we're competing and all, but there's no reason for us to be enemies, right?” She leaned into him, trying to look up at a silly angle. Medical conditions prevented him from finding the humor in the situation. “You might want to be my enemy. All my friends have lately ended up getting arrested. You didn't happen to see what direction the hospital was, did you?” The zebra laughed. “You really should plan these things out better. Makes them more dramatic” “Yeah well, when I'm reciting speeches while holding skulls I'll worry about drama.” She gave him a warm grin. “I'm Catawampus.” “Yards.” “You already know the boys, right? The other mare's Aurora Verity. You have to excuse her love of giant hats, it's a dramatic quirk of hers.” “There's you and the drama again.” He grunted and tried to clear his head. He really needed to see a doctor soon. “When I get to the hospital, are you going to leave me alone so I can stew in my own mad for a while?” “Would it do you any good?” “It'd make me feel better.” “So would some henket. But feeling better and being better are two different things, yes?” He sighed, looking down. “She...she....what Trixie did...” “Was wrong.” “She's done it before. I could feel it.” He shuddered, remembering her mind wandering through his memory, staring down every dark secret. “How is it legal?” “How would you have preferred she done it?” He sighed. “That she'd left us alone.” “Left alone? That she ignore a changeling that could drive off a dragon and kill off an entire squad of military trained ponies? That even her own friends were scared of her?” He closed his eyes, trying to find a vent for his rage. “Yes, Toffee did the right thing. It was legal, it was right, it...it's my fault it happened.” “Was it?” Her tone made it clear she didn't believe him. “Yes. I was living a lie. Apple Rhubarb was abetting. But I was trying to make things better for everypony. I swear.” He looked over at his companion. “I don't like to believe it when a victim tries to claim it's their fault.” “Most victims aren't me.” He looked away from the zebra to in front of them. They were back at the palace. Yards glared at Catawampus. “What?” she shrugged. “It's the closest medical facility.” She looked around innocently. “Oh, and there's Captain Shiny Pants.” She waved her hoof high in the air. “HI CAPTAIN SHINY PANTS!” Shining Armor cringed and waved back with the stiffness of embarrassment. “I'M TAKING HIM OVER TO THE MEDICAL WING! OKAY? SEE YOU LATER!” Yards couldn't help but chuckle at his adversary’s humiliation. Catawampus dropped her foreleg around his shoulder. “Come on, let's get you to a doctor, okay?” _____________________________________________________________________________ Starched sheets. It was amazing the things you missed. They weren't even comfortable, but the familiarity brought that sense of comfort. He rolled over in the hospital bed. The hustle and bustle of the hallway kept him from falling into a deep sleep. Yards always wondered why they didn't sound proof their rooms so ponies could get some needed sleep to recover in a hospital. Still, he decided to stay in that blissful twilight stage of not awake and not asleep. Mmmm, Starched sheets. An all too familiar voice was at the door. “Is he okay for a mission?” That smug, condescending voice. Like she's always talking down to some foal. The doctor sighed. “Physically he's had severe trauma to his horn. The cut is clean and there doesn't appear to be any nerve damage to the root. Mentally, he says Trixie did some sort of mind reading spell on him. I'm going to have to report that.” “What about him. Can he perform?” “Perform what? Magic? No. It's going to be months before enough of his horn regrows for him to do magic.” “Is he safe to travel?” The doctor pawed at the floor. He knew what she wanted to hear but could he go against his goddess? “Yes,” he sighed. Buck. That meant leaving the nice, warm, crisp sheets. Large, heavy steps walked into the room with a little entourage. The door closed behind them. “Yards McCanter.” She summoned him from sleep. He really didn't want to leave these starched sheets. He wanted everything to be okay. He wanted to feel safe. All the bad things that’s happened to him and his friends. He wanted it to go away. Mumbling, he hid his head under the sheets to protect him from the angry sun. “Yards, I know it's been a difficult time, but Equestria needs you.” Yards “harrumphed” and dug himself deeper under the covers. “You're needed.” “I need to stay in the hospital. Send 'Shiny Pants.'” “Was it not your idea that the two factions try to work together. How are our militarizes going to coincide? Can you show us that you can put aside your anger?” Her tone changed from commanding to matriarchal cajoling. She knew him too well. Curse you logic. He flipped the sheets off his head. “I'm hurt.” “We need you to go to Mairephis. It's important that you get there as fast as you can.” “You want me to go, I want Apple Rhubarb back at Sweet Apple Acres.” She gave him a look that was a mix of amusement and appreciation and just the faintest hint of calculating bitch. “I was unaware that you had become a mercenary.” “My friends shouldn't have to be punished for what choices I've made.” “They aren't being. Apple Rhubarb chose to not tell anypony that you'd lied about killing the changeling. She chose to allow you and Luna to create a test facility under Ponyville. Her own actions bare consequences.” He glared into the nothingness. There was a pregnant pause while Yards looked at the blood pressure machine. Finally he worked up the nerve to ask the big question. “What about Delta?” She shook her head. “This is something beyond my power.” “Little Rhu, she's safe, right?” “Yes, my little pony.” Ugh. He hated it when she called him that. “The pegasi?” “They are already on their way to Mairephis.” That caught his attention. He turned and looked at Celestia. Shining Armor was standing beside her. Celestia continued. “Toffee Chips and Messer Wind will follow up clues about old, large buildings in the area. Astro Rey and Starfall will be running down leads on missing ponies.” Yards looked over at Shining. “Alright, Nancy, what's going on?” He hrumped and glared at him. “We've tracked the Smooze leak to a facility in Mairephis.” Yards facehoofed hard. “You're kidding.” “Nope.” Shining's voice was flat. He was just as amazed at their stupidity. “They're working on a weapon designed to destroy a pegasi city...in a pegasi city?” By way of answering Shining only returned his look of incomprehension. “So...If I don't go. There's a good chance of a smooze leak that could destroy the city?” Shining nodded. Yards snorted. “Months. I sent that message months ago. Now I've got to leave before I should or else thousands will die again.?” He looked down at his hooves. Slowly he laid them down beside his body before looking at Celestia. “Why are the mares involved?” Celestia's brow furrowed. “Is there some reason the Elements shouldn't be involved in protecting Equestria?” “They’re not the Elements. They've not been trained. They don't know...anything.” Celestia's scowl deepened. “They know how to do research, They know how to talk to ponies. Really, you shouldn't dismiss your friends so easily.” There was a knock at the door. Subconsciously the two parted as the door opened to reveal a nurse with a small cart. She pushed her way into the room. “Excuse me, Your Highness, I need to get some readings.” The nurse bowed to the ruler. Her hat held back her brown mane. The robin's egg blue scrub she was wearing almost perfectly matched her coat. Yards opened his mouth as she slid the thermometer under his tongue. “You must go with Shining Armor to Mairephis and assist the other elements in stopping this attack. Your victory is of vital importance.” Celestia's command voice was in rare form. Great. “Princess, I must ask that you please not do things to cause his blood pressure to spike like that,” reprimanded the nurse. The Princess graced her with a political smile. “My apologizes. I didn't mean to make your job any more difficult.” The nurse pulled an injector off her cart. Yards felt the needle slide through his skin. Thick cold was pushed into his body before it was pulled out. “That should hold you for a day. When you leave they'll have a bottle of antibiotics for you. We don't want that horn's infection getting worse. Also change the dressing for the next three days twice daily. Make sure you clean it real good when you do. I'm serious.” She took umbrage at Yard's bored look. “If the infection gets to your root you could lose your horn for good. Make sure you take ALL the antibiotics.” He only nodded. The nurse pulled the thermometer out of his mouth and started writing in a folder. “When are we leaving?” Yards sighed. “As soon as your affairs are ready.” He nodded. “I'm going to need some things. Will I have access to my gear?” The matriarch nodded. _____________________________________________________________________________ Klack-klack-klack-klack went the wheels on their train car. There was no direct line to Mairephis. It had been destroyed in the war. As such a more round about approach was necessary to go the far West-North-West route from Canterlot. It had been a full day on board and another half day still to go. A day of staring at Shining Armor. A day of him staring back. There was nothing for either stallion to say. They'd known each other for years. Shining had helped him through his first few years in the castle. He'd always had a soft spot for new recruits. The unicorn had always been a good big brother to everypony. Yards took a drink for his watered down juice. A good big brother...there was one thing they'd never discussed. “What was she like?” Shining gave him a puzzled look. “Your sister. Twilight. What was she like growing up?” He sighed, and looked out the window at the passing scenery. “Selfish.” Well, that was a word that Yards had ever heard used to describe her. “Really?” Shining nodded. “Yeah. It was always her way and what she wanted. Mom...Twilight...after Twiley, mom couldn't have anymore foals, so...she became her whole world.” He looked up into space. “If she wanted to read, I got to do the dishes. If the lawn needed mowing? Twiley was too busy studying.” The former prince scratched his head and took a drink from his own glass before continuing. “I complained once. She'd just thrown an absolute hissy fit and taken my Smarty Pants. Mom said I was too old for it and that I was a bad brother. I said Twiley was a greedy bitch.” He smiled softly. “When I could sit again my parents told me that if I wanted her to be better than that I had to set a better example. So I tried. I guess I've been trying ever since. When she got into Celestia's I thought it was finally done. Then the tuition bills came in. I had to join the military to help pay them.” Yards nodded. “Well, there's at least one thing we had in common.” He raised his glass, “Here's to tuition reimbursement.” The unicorn smiled and they clinked glasses. Yards didn't want to press about her death. Though he hated Shining, her death was far too sacrosanct. A mare walked by their table pushing a cart. She had a soft yellow coat with light blue mane and tail. Her cutie mark was three mint leaves. “Hey there, you two need a refill?” She held up a pitcher of juice medley. “Sure,” Shining Armor hovered his glass on over to the waitress. She smiled as she refilled his glass. Yards pushed his over with his hoof to the edge of the table. She put a couple of ice cubes in before refilling his empty glass. Shining smiled at her and she returned it with a sly look. “So, heading to Mairephis?” “Yup,” Yards answered. “Going to the festival?” The two stallions looked at each other. “It depends on if we get business done in time.” Shining said between drinks. “Huh, they don't usually make much room for us ground pounders up there, have fun,” she waved her hoof at the table, winking once. “Coming after our women?” Jabed Yards as she walked away. “'Our' women?” “Well, I don't have a horn anymore. I'm an earth pony now.” Shining shrugged. “It's the burden of being famous.” Yards gave a dark laugh. “You're not famous. You're Twilight's brother; or you were 'that stallion' that was divorced by the alicorn of love.” Shining glared daggers across the table. Yards had him and had to press his advantage. “Cez, what kind of a buck up do you have to be for the personification of love to give up on you.” “She didn't divorce me. She...left.” Yards felt the thrill of battle against his most hated foe. He had to escalate. He held his hooves together up next to his head and continued in a high falsetto. “Oh, Auntie Celest! He's such a brute! Please protect me from his wicked hooves!” Shining slammed those 'wicked hooves' onto the table, making their drinks jump. “DO NOT EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT! I'd never hurt her.” His nostrils flared with rage. Yards smiled in victory and looked out the window. Shining started to calm down and looked over at his adversary. “It looks like that stab wound I gave you in the neck healed up.” Without looking Yards attacked again. “Yeah, wounds often close over. Except of course your mom's axe wound. It's open all the-” His head was shoved against the window and pinned there with magic while Shining got up and delivered a sharp hoof blow behind Yard's ear. Yards tried to laugh despite the pain but the psychokinetic envelope around his head refused to allow him to open his mouth. There was a reason nopony had spoken yesterday. There'd be a reason nopony would speak again until they came to their destination.