//------------------------------// // 19 - Cadance Call (military cadence) // Story: Ponyville & Other Poems // by AugieDog //------------------------------// When earth ponies just tap their hoofs, When earth ponies just tap their hoofs, They knock down walls, collapsing roofs! They knock down walls, collapsing roofs! Us unicorns can't concentrate You unicorns can't concentrate Unless the silverware's set straight! Unless the silverware's set straight! Those pegasi aren't here to stay: Those pegasi aren't here to stay: You look too hard, they blow away! You look too hard, they blow away! It's crystal ponies are the best It's crystal ponies are the best Unless you watch while they digest! Unless you watch while we digest! Sound off! One, two! Sound off! Three, four! Never eat beans, now! One, two, three, four, one, two— —Three, four! Now, I don't know, but I've been told Now, I don't know, but I've been told A pony's fetlocks might get cold A pony's fetlocks might get cold From marching out at break of dawn From marching out at break of dawn With just a pack and saddle on. With just a pack and saddle on. And so our Princess, sweet and good, And so our Princess, sweet and good, Who cares for us more than she should, Who cares for us more than she should, Was up all night with yarn and thread Was up all night with yarn and thread To knit you socks, all shiny red! To knit us socks, all shiny red! Sound off! One, two! Sound off! Three, four! Kick up those knees, now! One, two, three, four, one, two— —Three, four! So shout hooray for dawn patrols! So shout hooray for dawn patrols! We'll skip and scamper like we're foals We'll skip and scamper like we're foals Forgetting that we left in bed Forgetting that we left in bed The princess to be here instead! You did?? Are you a chowderhead?? Because we need the exercise Because we need the exercise And need to know it's plain unwise And need to know it's plain unwise To be the sort of stupid nut To be the sort of stupid nut Who calls her 'Princess Candybutt!' Who called her 'Princess Candybutt??' Sound off! One, two! Sound off! Three, four! Keep those eyes front, now! One, two, three, four, one, two— —Three, four! She's watching from her balcony! She's what?? She's watching?? Can you see—?? So try to keep your dignity! Oh, yeah! That's right! Our dignity! We're soldiers: loyal, brave, and true! We're soldiers: loyal, brave, and true! We always see our missions through! We always see our missions through! And when we make a dumb mistake, And when we make a dumb mistake, Our friends'll help us fix the break! Our friends'll help us fix the break! I lead the way when we parade, You lead the way when we parade, But now I'm asking for your aid! Just ask! We're ever undismayed! Sound off! One, two! Sound off! Three, four! Thank you all truly! One, two, three, four, one, two— —Three, four! So sing out my apologies! We'll sing out his apologies! I'll even march by on my knees! He'll even march by on his knees! And look! They really love the socks! You bet we really love our socks! Despite how much your husband mocks. We'll gladly toss him in the stocks! I'll go if that's what she demands, She won't. Our princess understands. Deserving of her reprimands. Believe us, sir: she understands. I'm sorry, darling! You were right! He's sorry and admits you're right! Forgive me, please, and let's not fight! Forgive, we beg, this noble knight! Sound off! One, two! Sound off! Three, four! She's laughing and smiling! One, two, three, four, one, two— —Three, four! Company! Dismissed!