//------------------------------// // Time to Nut Up or Shut Up // Story: Twilight and Friends Save Christmas // by BronyWriter //------------------------------// Way out in the badlands, where the sun rarely shone, a nasty queen changeling spoke with a nasty tone. "The ponies have Christmas, so happy and gay!" She grunted in disgust, and on the floor she did lay. "I hate them after my invasion of Canterlot! After being flung that far, I'm not feeling so hot!" The changeling queen grimaced, and from the floor she did stand. She walked over to a shining orb which showed the pony land. "I must find a way to defeat them, I must! I'll make this latest attempt at Christmas a bust!" Beside her, her a minion of hers turned and did mutter, "what the heck is she doing?" The other one shrugged to his brother. The changeling queen cackled and bounced in delight. "Come now my children! We shall remove this Christmasy blight! The ponies will wake up tomorrow morn, and find there is no Christmas, so they shall..." The changeling queen faltered. "M-mourn." The changelings did sigh, remembering the last invasion where they were blown sky high. Still, she was their queen, and had good ideas sometimes. They gathered behind her, and gave moral boosting war cries. "Christmas well not come for Equestria!" The evil changeling queen squeed. "I will take over the North Pole, and make all of them bleed!" * * * * Twilight Sparkle smiled a she adjusted the Christmas star on her flawlessly decorated tree. She hopped off of her ladder and stepped back to admire her handiwork, relishing the fact that the tree was perfect, just like it was every year. And her friends said that checklists never came in handy. Spike waked up beside her, a similar smile on his face. He leaned against her side and gently nuzzled her. "It looks beautiful, Twilight. Probably our best Christmas tree yet." "Certainly our best one since we came to Ponyville." Twilight reached a hoof out and delicately touched one of the tinsel strings. "The tinsel and the popcorn strings are alternating and exactly three inches apart, the ornaments are magically fixed to the tree..." A slight frown crossed Twilight's face as she scanned her tree one more time. "Though given the fact that my mom is inevitably going to send me yet another ornament, I wonder if we're going to have room for it next year." Spike shrugged and slightly adjusted a glass ornament of three fillies on a sled. "Eh, it'll be fine. We'll find a way like we always do." Twilight's smile returned and she affectionately ruffled Spike's head spines. "You're right, Spike. I'm sure we will." Before Spike could respond, his cheeks bulged out, and he made a noise of regurgitation that Twilight had come to associate with Princess Celestia sending her a letter. With a small burst of flame, Spike burped out a rolled up scroll sealed with the royal seal. Twilight caught it in her magic before it hit the ground. "I wonder what it is," Spike said, gingerly rubbing his chest. Twilight shrugged. "Probably just her wishing me a merry Christmas," she said as she broke the seal. She unfurled the scroll and cleared her throat. "Dear Twilight, I must ask you and your friends to come to Canterlot immediately! A grave matter has arisen, and I believe that you are the only ponies that can solve it. You will find train tickets waiting for you at the train station. I wish I could give more details, but I'd rather wait to discuss this in private. Please do not wait! Princess Celestia." Twilight gulped and put the scroll down. "Spike, we have a problem. You go get Rarity and Pinkie. I'll go get Rainbow, Fluttershy and Applejack." Twilight flew over to the coat closet and pulled out to scarves, one of which she tossed to Spike and the other she wrapped around her own neck. "Tell them to meet me at the Canterlot train station as soon as they can and tell them that Princess Celestia wants us. They don't need to bring anything." Spike saluted and the two of them ran out the door into the chilly winter night. * * * * Twenty minutes later, the seven of them sat in a private car on the five 'o clock train to Canterlot. Twilight's friends each looked at her with looks of confusion on their faces. It was Applejack who broke the silence. "So, Princess Celestia just said that she wanted us in Canterlot, but didn't say why?" Applejack grunted and crossed her forelegs. "Ah hope it's for a good reason. Ah was just about ta make the apple figgy pudding with Granny Smith 'n Apple Bloom! This was the year we were gonna show her how!" "While I am not the Element of Honesty, Applejack, I must say that apple figgy pudding sounds revolting." Rarity shrugged when Applejack turned and glared at her. "All that to say, I'm sure that Princess Celestia wouldn't call us to Canterlot on Christmas Eve unless it was most important." "Ooh, ooh, ooh!" Pinkie grinned and began bouncing in her seat. "Maybe she wants us to save Christmas like in one of those cheesy Christmas specials they play on TV the entire time between Nightmare Night and Christmas!" Applejack rolled her eyes. "Ah highly doubt that, Pinkie. Ah mean, it's a whole world-wide holiday. Ah doubt that six ponies could 'save' Christmas." Pinkie's grin turned into a deep frown and she crossed her forelegs. "Humph. Well, I bet you that we do." Applejack smirked and raised her eyebrows. "Ten bits that we save Christmas like in one of those cheesy Christmas specials?" Pinkies grin returned and she held out her hoof. "Ten bits." Applejack bumped Pinkie's hoof, triggering a rather spectacular eye roll from Rarity. "Well whatever's going on, I'd better not get home late enough that I get to my house at the same time as Santa Claus gets there," Rainbow grumbled. "I didn't even get time to put out milk and cookies! Do you have any idea what those two things combined would do for my chances of making it onto the 'nice' list next year?" "I didn't have time for that either," Fluttershy mumbled. Rarity snorted and gave her two friends an amused smile. "Putting out milk and cookies for Santa Claus? Really now, I think we're all grown mares and can admit to ourselves that Santa Clause isn't real. I mean, I'm more than happy to keep up the masquerade for Sweetie Belle, of course, but as for me, I'm perfectly content--" "Rarity..." Fluttershy whispered. Rarity looked over at Fluttershy, who was shakily pointing at something behind her. A slight frown creased Rarity's face, and she looked to where Fluttershy was pointing. Her look of confusion turned to one of full-blown horror when she saw Twilight glaring at Rarity, her hooves over Spike's ear holes. The damage had been done, however, as the look on Spike's face matched Rarity's look of pure horror. "Er..." Rarity flinched back and flattened her ears. "I mean... I was... kidding, of course." Twilight lowered her hooves and wrapped her forelegs around Spike. "Good going, Rarity." "Yeah, good going, Rarity!" Rainbow snarled. She put a hoof on Spike's head. "Now you're on the 'naughty' list because you don't believe in Santa Claus!" "Rarity's on the 'naughty' list?" Spike alternated between looking at Rainbow, Rarity and Twilight. "Or is Santa Claus not real?" "Of course he's real, Spike!" Rarity gently patted his shoulder. "I was just kidding!" "No you weren't," Spike mumbled. He sighed and leaned his head into Twilight's chest. "No you weren't." "Spike, I--" "Let it go, Rarity." Twilight shook her head in disgust. "You've said enough." Rarity sighed and leaned her head against the train window, trying not to think about the looks she was getting. It was going to be a long ride to Canterlot. * * * * A long ride to Canterlot later, the group arrived and disembarked from the train, where a royal chariot waited for them at the station. The group got on and the chariot took them to the castle where Princess Celestia was already waiting for them at the castle entrance. They got off of the chariot and rushed over to the princesses. "Princess Celestia, we came over as soon as we got your letter!" Twilight said, rushing over to her fellow princess with the rest of her friends behind her. "And I am glad for it." Celestia gave Twilight a quick nuzzle. "Was the train ride uneventful?" Twilight looked back at her friends and gave Rarity a subtle glare. "Mostly." "Excellent, then there isn't any time to waste. You must follow me." Celestia turned and walked back into the castle, with the rest following beside her. "I'm afraid that something terrible has happened, my little ponies. Something that could alter the course of our beloved Christmas as we know it forever." Twilight gasped. "What? What happened?" "Five hours ago, Queen Chrysalis invaded another part of the world." "Queen Chrysalis?" Applejack tilted her head. "You mean that bug thing that attacked Canterlot during the royal weddin'?" "One and the same, I'm afraid," Celestia said gravely. "That's positively dreadful!" Rarity cried. "Where did she attack?" "That's the worst part about it. She attacked..." Celestia turned around and faced them all. "The North Pole." Spike, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie all gasped, while the rest gave Celestia looks of confusion. "Wait... the North Pole? As in where Santa Claus lives?" "Exactly where Santa Claus lives, dear Rarity." Celestia resumed her walking, and the rest began following her again. "It was a complete surprise attack at Santa's Workshop. His elves are not prepared to deal with an attack force of that size." Celestia's grimace shifted subtly to one of annoyance. "Or one at all, really. Had Santa just listened to me after the wedding and tightened up his defenses..." Celestia shook her head. "It is unimportant. What is important is that without Santa Claus and his elves to deliver the toys that they have spent all year making, we won't. Have. Christmas!" The ponies all gasped again, save for Rarity whose look of confusion only deepened. "Er... that doesn't make much sense, Princess Celestia. I mean, yes, if Santa Claus can't deliver toys then the amount of material goods received will be lessened, but I still have my gifts that I'm giving Sweetie Belle, my friends and my parents, not to mention the fact that I'm spending all day with them, so--" "I'm sorry, Rarity, but even with those wonderful things, Christmas will be ruined without Santa Claus," Celestia said sadly. "The reasons are long and complex, and I don't have time to explain all of them to you, but just trust me on this." Rarity gave a quiet scoff and flattened her ears. "I see," she muttered under her breath. "Now, then," Celestia continued as if there hadn't been dramatic tension ruining interruption, "your mission is very simple in theory, but in practice it may be the most difficult thing that you have ever done. I would not ask this of all of you if I thought this task outside of your skill set, but do know that it is dangerous." Twilight gave a confident smile and motioned back to her friends. "Princess Celestia, I think that I speak for all of us when I say that we're willing to do whatever it takes to get Santa Claus back and save Christmas!" "I'm very glad to hear that." The group stopped in front of a blank doorway down a dark, seemingly abandoned hallway. "For you need our most powerful weapons if you are going to defeat the changelings. I need you to go into the North Pole and repel the changeling occupiers and save Santa Claus. Once you locate and free him, provided he has not been too badly injured, he can use his own magic to repel any additional invaders." "But how can we get inside?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I mean, we gave up the Elements to the Tree of Harmony, and the Box of Harmony doesn't exactly open on command. What do we use to fight the changelings?" At this, Celestia's smile widened, and she pressed a hidden button on the wall. "Why, superior firepower, of course." The wall behind Celestia retracted into the floor, revealing a secret room. When they looked inside the room, Twilight and her friends gasped. Inside the room was every single gun imaginable hanging up against the wall or resting on racks in the middle of the room. Arctic camo battle armor sat on ponniquins, complete with all of the trappings. The six ponies and Spike slowly walked into the room, their jaws nearly on the floor. "Is this... is this for us?" Rainbow Dash whispered. Celestia chuckled and put a hoof on a set of battle armor. "It is indeed. I've had this battle armor custom made for all of you in case of an emergency like this." Celestia ignited her horn and lifted the helmet off of the ponniquin. She gently placed it on Rainbow Dash's head and clicked the chin strap shut. "This one is yours, if the cutie mark insignia on the shoulder patch is any indication." Rainbow Dash shuddered as a feeling of pure testosterone and awesomeness coursed through her body. "M-my battle armor. She walked up to the armor and ran her hoof down the shoulder patch which was indeed emblazoned with her cutie mark. "Oh, and there's this too," Celestia said before pushing a button on the side of Rainbow's helmet. When the helmet was pushed, a pair of white sunglasses flipped down from the helmet, covering Rainbow Dash's eyes. Rainbow Dash squeed and flew into the air. "This is the best thing ever!" She looked down at the ponies below her. "You all have this green glow around you!" "That is a spell I installed into the glasses so that you could tell friend from foe. The glasses are also equipped with night vision, heat vision, and so on. Anything you need to see." "So yer saying that we gotta use alla this stuff ta go to th' North Pole ta go kill changelin's and rescue Santa Claus." Applejack walked over to a set of armor with her cutie mark on the shoulder patch. "Am Ah hearin' that right?" Celestia nodded. "Indeed you are, Applejack. Obviously a scenario with more... minimal casualties would be preferable, but given the circumstances, I think this is the only option." "Why can't you just send the army in?" Fluttershy whimpered. "They'd be better at this, right?" Celestia sighed and shook her head. "I'm afraid that if they see a whole army coming they may execute Santa Claus and Christmas will be ruined forever." Celestia walked over to Fluttershy, pointedly ignoring Rarity's disbelieving glare, and put a wing on her back. "Trust me, my little pony, this is the best way." Fluttershy whimpered, but slowly nodded. "Okay. I guess I'll trust you." She walked over to the next suit in line, the one that bore her cutie mark, and took the helmet off of the stand. Taking a deep breath, she put it on and flipped the sunglasses down. "Not as heavy as I thought it would be." Celestia gave a light laugh. "Well, it would hardly be an effective suit of armor if the weight of the helmet hurt your spine, dear Fluttershy." Celestia turned to the rest of the group and motioned to the stands. "Alright. It is time to suit up. " The next twenty minutes were spent with each of the ponies putting on their various pieces of armor. Spike and Celestia went around as needed and helped put on whatever the ponies required assistance with. Applejack, with great reluctance, switched out her hat for the helmet, but Celestia assured her that it would be quite safe. Eventually, the six of them were ready. Almost. "Now that you are dressed for battle, there is one more thing that you need to do." Celestia levitated a large pair of scissors into the air. "Mane and tail cuts. Specifically to Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity." Rarity squeaked and backed up a few steps. "Oh, that's not necessary at all, Princess Celestia! M-my mane and tail are just fine!" Celestia shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Rarity, for you see, your mane and tail will be a detriment to you during the fight, and you need to have a shorter mane and tail so that your enemies do not have an obvious target to grab onto, and so that you do not get them caught on anything. It would also be best to keep your mane out of your eyes." "P-Princess, Celestia, I must question this!" "I'm sorry, Rarity." Celestia snapped the scissors shut in a vaguely ominous manner. "But keep this in mind: this is not my fault. If the changelings did not attack the North Pole, you would not have to endure this. It is their fault entirely. Try to remember that while on the field of battle." "I..." Rarity's eyes narrowed, and her jaw dropped ever so slightly while she tried to come up with a retort, but before she could, Celestia levitated the scissors over to Rarity and, with a few quick snips, shortened her tail and cut her mane down to the point where it could be put in a ponytail. Rarity squeaked and tried to catch her falling mane strands, but the damage was done. Celestia levitated a few mane bands over to Rarity, who huffed and tied her mane and tail up while Celestia got to work on Rarity's friends. Once Celestia had finished her barbering skills, she swept the cut hair away. "Now that you're ready, it is time for the best part: picking your weapons." "So when you say that..." Rainbow Dash looked all over the room at the weapons. "You mean anything, right?" Celestia nodded. "Of course, Rainbow Dash. Anything at all. Choose whatever you feel would best play to your strengths. Do you want to spray bullety death upon your changeling foes? Do you want to hit them from afar? Fly through the air firing two pistols? The choice is yours." Rainbow Dash bolted towards a rack of guns on the wall opposite the group. "Icallautomaticrifles!" She snatched a Baretta AR70/90 off of the wall and cradled it close like it was her firstborn. "So awesome!" she moaned. Applejack rolled her eyes at her prismatic friend and trotted over to a rack of shotguns. She eyed them critically with a small sigh. "Well, Granny Smith did always say that an Apple who couldn't use a shotgun wasn't a real Apple at all." She took a pump-action Remington 870 off of the wall and looked down the barrel. "Indeed?" Celestia said, walking up to Applejack. "So you would give your filly sister a shotgun?" "We got her a mini Benelli M4 for Hearth's Warming Eve." Applejack grimaced. "Wished she was a better shot with it, though." She looked up at Celestia who was staring down at her with a raised eyebrow and chuckled. "Don't worry, we got her the proper foal permits and whatnot." "I see." Celestia clicked her tongue and walked over to Pinkie Pie, who was tapping her jaw and scanning a rack of flamethrowers. "Are you sure about this, Pinkie? These aren't exactly ideal for close-combat situations, after all, and I am unsure of exactly how much use you will get out of it before its fuel supply is depleted." Pinkie Pie sighed and looked up at Celestia, her eyes wide and watery. "Please," she whimpered, "let me dream." She took a Flammenwerfer 41 off of the wall and gently strapped it onto her back. "It's not that heavy, Princess Celestia!" Pinkie trotted over to the section of the room housing the pistols. "And I promise that I'll have backup for when it does run out!" Celestia gave a wing shrug and shook her head. "If that is truly what you wish, then I will not stop you. I must advise you to be careful, however. Playing with fire in this setting is a dangerous thing." Pinkie's beaming grin returned, and she snapped her hoof up in a sharp salute. "Yes, Princess Celestia, ma'am! You have my Pinkie Promise that I'll be extra careful!" "Very well." With Pinkie settled, Celestia moved over to Twilight, who was examining an Armalite AR-10 A2. She raised it in the air with her magic and looked down the sight, nodding her head in approval. "You wish for that one, my most faithful of students?" Twilight nodded and lowered the gun. "I think so. It's not terribly heavy, and a semi-automatic gun will help me conserve ammunition." Twilight grimaced and glanced over at Rainbow Dash, who had grabbed an AK-47 to go along with her other gun, and was holding them both and giggling like a madpony. "Unlike certain others I could mention." "A wise decision, I think. I believe that you will be able to handle the kickback of that weapon with your magical capabilities quite well." Twilight nodded and grabbed a few stacks of ammunition off of the rack. "I think so too. Unless there are way too many changelings out there, we should have a pretty good chance of this." "I agree." Content that her student had things well in hoof, Celestia trotted over to Rarity, who was looking at a rack of sniper rifles with Fluttershy. "And what of you, Rarity? You want to snipe your opponents?" Rarity nodded. "I think so, Princess Celestia. Fluttershy has agreed to be my spotter, given that she'd rather not be directly involved in the carnage." Rarity illuminated her horn and took a Barrett M98B off of the rack. "And to be honest, I'd rather not stand two inches in front of a changeling, only to shoot it in the face with a shotgun and get overly messy as a result." "Hey, are y'all sayin' that ah'm a moron for choosin' a shotgun!" Applejack growled as she loaded her weapon. Rarity gave a slow, pained sigh and shook her head. "No, Applejack darling, I'm merely saying that some of us do not wish to spend the post-mission party cleaning ten gallons of changeling goo off of us." Rarity tossed what remained of her mane back. "I think this is the far more lady-like way to slaughter dozens of changelings." Rainbow Dash snorted. "Yeah, shooting at them from a half-mile away. Real brave of ya, Rares." "I will not dignify that ignorant comment with a response!" Rarity stuck her nose in the air and hoofed a pair of high-powered binoculars to Fluttershy, who squeaked and clutched them close to her body. "It matters not, my little pony," Celestia said, putting a hoof on Rarity's shoulder. "Some support is necessary for this mission, and you two can see things that the rest of your friends cannot." "Exactly," Rarity said, shooting Rainbow a smug grin. "With all of that said, if you have all chosen your weapons..." Celestia walked into the middle of the room, waiting for the ponies to circle around her. "I think you are all ready to take back the North Pole."