If I could marry food, I’d marry this pie. No seriously, this was that good and I’ve had great dessert dishes before. ‘Say what you will about her, Chrysalis knows how to cook.’ It was like a piece of heaven was taken from high above and given to me in the shape of a pie. It was love at first bite. Joy of the highest caliber. It was better than se…Okay, not that good, but close. I had to use every ounce of self-restraint to keep myself from pigging out. As well, I chewed slowly and deliberately. I wanted to savor the flavor for as long as possible. Who knew when I could have another Apple Family pie?
I played with the idea of inviting the Apple Family to the Crystal Empire. They’d make a killing there, but I decided against it. They were content farmers and I wasn’t going to uproot them for my sake. That and it would be too costly to move all these apple trees. ‘By my aunt’s mane, it’s almost like a sea of trees.’
I had to give it to the apples for maintaining this much on their own. I still wondered how they were able to buck all these trees, but they were earth ponies. They had the endurance to do so. ‘Still, maybe I should send down a few farmers to help. It would do my ponies good for them to see more of Equestria. Maybe settle down in Ponyville and find a start a family.’ She couldn’t help but picture a few of the bachelors and bachelorette farmers in her empire. It was a small number, but they could do.
‘That aside, having them over as a sort of ‘vacation’ would do wonders. Their treats would be the talk of the town during celebrations.’
“Do ya like the pie, princess?” I heard little Apple Bloom ask.
Taking a second to swallow, I daintily wiped away the remains from my lips with a hoofkerchief. “It was delightful if I do say so myself.”
“Thanks,” Apple Bloom beamed. “Ah helped make it.”
Giggling, I spoke “I can tell.”
Oh, why is she so cute? I just wanted to scoop her up and cuddle with her till the sun went down. I always had a soft spot for children. It made me such an adapt babysitter. Celestia was hesitant on letting me do so, since I would be ‘vulnerable’ out on the streets by myself. Well, with my training, and a select few guards, I convinced her otherwise. Still, I miss those days. I was the best babysitter Equestria had ever seen. Sometimes, I wonder why I didn’t get a cutie mark in raising kids. ‘Which reminds me….I want one.’
Shining was still nervous about the whole ‘parenting’ issue. I’ve been trying and trying to no avail to get him to see reason. ‘I wanna be a momma. Give me a baby, you doofus!’ I didn’t hate him for it, but it was frustrating to say the least.
“Do ya want some more?” Apple Bloom asked.
“No, I’m content for now,” I flinched when a piece of pie splattered across my snout. Frowning, I looked over at the culprit. “Unlike some creatures I know.”
Discord was currently eating his second pie in a rather messy manner. Bits of pie splattered everywhere as he desperately tried to devour the pies before him. I used a quick spell to clean myself and another to keep more from splattering all over me. While I am not afraid to get dirty, I don’t necessarily go looking for a chance. Pulling it back, he used his excessively long tongue to wipe his face clean. “This pie…I love it…ANOTHER!” He threw the pie pan behind him, causing an explosion.
I was about to admonish him about exploding other pony’s property, when Applejack called out to us.
“Discord, what did ah say about explodin’ our property?”
Discord groaned. “To not to.”
“Good,” Applejack kept herself inside. “Glad ya remember it now, but it seems ah have to keep remindin’ ya.”
“But Applejack…” Discord started to whine.
“No buts, ya mangy varmint,” Applejack called. “No explosions, period. Ya got that?”
“Yes,” Discord grumbled out.
“What was that?”
“YES!” He roared, looking a might bit ticked off. He huffed and turned to see me grinning. “What?”
“Oh nothing,” I took another small piece of pie up in my magic. “I’m just observing is all.”
Discord glared at me, to which I giggled and ate the pie piece.
‘They’re acting like one of those old, troublesome couples I’ve met before,’ I noted. The way they argued, how Applejack handled him, and Discord actually listened. ‘Maybe this won’t be as hard as I thought.’
“Ah thought the explosion was cool, mister Discord,” Apple Bloom spoke up.
Discord smirked. “Well, at least somepony appreciates my chaos.” He ruffled her mane causing her to giggle.
I just loved the sound, silently hoping that my own daughter/son would have such a cute giggle.
“I see you’ve been doing well since our last little get together,” Discord said.
“Sure have,” Apple Bloom nodded. “Ah’ve been meanin’ to ask if ya’d like to join us later. We didn’t get to properly initiate ya into the CMC.”
I raised an eyebrow in confusion. ‘Initiate him into the CMC?’ It seemed like Discord had dealt with Apple Bloom before. Judging by how amicable they were to each other, I could see my next task was going to be a walk in the park…More or less.
Discord scoffed. “Proper, smoper. I am the god of chaos, if you’re going to do it,” he booped her nose. “Do it improperly.”
Apple Bloom giggled. “Whatever ya say, mister Discord.”
“Now go on in and get me a pie, pronto…and tell your sister I think she’s cute.”
Apple Bloom saluted, to which he returned it. “Aye, aye, captain.” She raced back inside.
I mulled over the scene I had just witnessed and came to one conclusion: he’s good with kids. ‘Oh, you just scored some points in my book, mister.’ I smirked.
Discord stroked his chin in thought and hummed. “Captain?”
I snorted. “Discord, if anypony is the captain,” I used my magic to summon a captain’s hat over my tiara. “It’s me.”
“Well, I am the goddess of shipping after all.” True fact, in both meanings of the word. I was quite the sailor back before I became the princess of the Crystal Empire. I kind of missed those days. ‘A good ol’ ship battle would do me good. I wonder if Chrysalis still hates me for sinking her battleship.’
Discord laughed and applauded. “Good one, Candy. I believe you just won.” He plucked an golden Emmy Award in my image from his ear and gave it to me.
I took the trophy in my magic. “Now,” I set it aside. “About what I just saw…”
Discord waved his paw to dismiss me. “Oh, we’ve met before. She and her little friends were having trouble finding their marks, so I pitched in for a few laughs.”
“And it seems you’re on good terms with her. Am I right?”
Discord nodded. “Of course I am. Little Apple Bloom and her friends are such a chaotic delight. Why, if anything, I believe they’ll be getting marks in chaos in no time.”
I paused before taking another bite. My eyes were nearly bulging out of their sockets. If what Discord said was true, than I believe Equestria’s reckoning will be soon. ‘I may be exaggerating, but if what Twilight’s letters say is true…Auntie help us all.’ I decided to keep an extra eye out for the CMC. They and Discord were a force to be reckoned with.
Beating back the disturbing thought, I reluctantly put down my pie. “Well, that just makes your next task all that easier.”
Discord raised an eyebrow…which decided to fly off. I didn’t question it, nor did I question why when Discord grabbed it, he threw it into his mouth, swallowed, and there popped a new one on his brow. “What is it?”
“You spent today showing Applejack you’re willing to work,” I said. “Now you have to show her that you’re willing to get along with her family.”
Discord huffed and crossed his arms. “Easier said than done,” he poofed on an old mare’s clothing, like Granny Smiths, with the white hair and cane, adding a pair of glasses just for himself. “Little miss wrinkles isn’t the most welcoming.”
“Well, you’re going to have to do it if you want Applejack’s love,” I pointed out. “Her family is the most important thing in her life. If you can’t be on ‘friendly’-” I made a hyphen gesture with my wings. “-terms with them, than this relationship won’t work.”
Discord rubbed his temple. “Why does love have so many steps and rules?”
“It makes life more interesting,” I shrugged and continuing to eat the heavenly dessert.
Now Ah’m not a mare to condone spyin’. Ah hate the no good, vermin with a passion. It aint right to peep on ponies when they’re tryin’ to live their lives in peace…
Right now, ah couldn’t help but feel like a hypocrite.
Yes, ah was spyin’ on Discord. Ah did my best to hide behind the curtain, making sure to keep out of his, or Princess Cadance’s, eyesight. It felt wrong to do this, but ah wasn’t gonna let Discord out of my sight. Not while he was still on my property.
Sure, Princess Cadance was keepin’ an eye on him, but ah had to be sure. ‘He’s probably thinkin’ of some sort of plan to mess with me. Ah just know it.’
Seein’ Discord actually interact and laugh with Cadance was a bit unusual. They weren’t exactly ‘buddy buddy’ when ah was with them, but Cadance was a nice mare. Surely, she’d get through his thick skull. ‘Maybe she’ll take him away.’ Ah could only hope.
“Big sis, what are ya doin’?”
Ah couldn’t help but jump back and yelp in fright at hearin’ my lil’ sister’s voice. Doin’ the act was one thin’, gettin’ caught was another. “Uh…nothin’. Nothin’ at all.”
Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes at me. If there is two things about us Apples ya should know is that we’re terrible liars and good at readin’ ponies. It didn’t take my lil’ sis, bless her heart, long to find out the truth.
“Ya were spyin’ on ‘em,” she said. “Weren’t ya?”
Ah rubbed the back of my head, nervously. “Well, ya see…”
“Didn’t ya tell me that spy’s were no good backstabbers with no sense of privacy whatsoever?” Apple Bloom interrupted me.
Which was true, both the statement and that ah told her. Let’s just say, ah’ve had the misfortune to bump into a couple of the varmints. Canterlot is a big place, filled with all sorts of ponies. Ah just didn’t reckon they were workin’ for Celestia…Didn’t seem to sit right with me.
“Yes, ya caught me. I was spyin’ on ‘em.”
Ah sighed. “’Cause ah’m worried about that Discord fella.”
“Why are ya worried about him?” My sister asked. “He seems like a good guy. Hay, he’s pretty much one of my best friends.”
‘Ugh, don’t remind me about that incident, lil’ sis. If ah could’ve, ah’d have strangled him right then and there.’ Rememberin’ that time Discord sealed off a part of the orchard to ‘play’ with my sister and friends sent shivers down my spine. Ah’d nearly had a heart attack, ah was so worried. Luckily for us, nothin’ bad happened. Still, ah didn’t exactly like the idea of him spendin’ time with my sister. He wasn’t exactly the best influence.
“Ah know,” ah said. “But he still gives me the creeps.”
“Well, he doesn’t give me any creeps,” Apple Bloom said. “He just makes me laugh. Ah don’t really see anythin’ wrong with that.”
Ah sighed. “Ya don’t understand, sugarcube.”
“Is it because he likes ya?”
Ah furrowed my brows and looked away. “No.”
Ah knew my sister was smirkin’. Ah just knew it. “Admit it, ya like him to.”
Ah blushed and looked at her. “Don’t be sayin’ crazy things like that.” Me, likin’ Discord? Ah don’t think so…Then why was ah blushin’?
My sister’s smirk grew wider. “Well, he told me to tell ya he think yer cute.”
“He said what now?”
“He said yer cute.”
‘Callin’ me cute, is he? Well…Thanks.’ Ah couldn’t really find anythin’ really bad about that, as it was tame compared to his other compliments, but ah had to remain on guard. He wasn’t goin’ to win me over so easily. With my sister’s aid or not.
“That was mighty nice of him to say,” ah said.
“That and he wants more pie.”
‘Good Celestia, how much can he eat?’ Ah sighed. “Ah’ll go get the oven ready.”