//------------------------------// // Arc One Chapter One // Story: The Illogic Mandate // by Dubious //------------------------------// Princess Celestia was waling through the Canterlot Royal Gardens with the element bearers. As they went, they admired the various statues and plants around the area. The gaggle of happy ponies were celebrating their recent defeat of Discord by touring the gardens. As the group neared a particular statue, Celestia spoke up. "Alright girls, as you all know, Discord was turned to stone by the elements of harmony and displayed as a statue in the royal gardens." Upon receiving confirmatory nods, she continued. "Well it was not the only one." At this the ponies before her gasped. "But princess! What if the other imprisoned beings were let out by Discord!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. Celestia merely chuckled before replying, "Relax, Twilight, it is only the one, and her and Discord never met. Though they may have similar powers, they are not related in any way, shape, or form. And this particular being is the reason why I've brought you here. Me and my sister have determined that due to our no longer being linked to the elements, their effects on the villains we used them on are wearing off. As such, I have gathered you here, at this very statue." She said, pausing dramatically. After a suitable passage of six seconds had passed, she finished, "Reinforce the elements effects on the being that is sealed inside the statue!" At this exclamation, the ponies all gasped in surprise. "Don't worry princess! We'll make sure this fiend never escapes!" Rarity boldly exclaimed, earning her a jealous look from both Twilight and Rainbow Dash. "Yeah! You can count on us!" Pinkie Pie added. "I have the utmost faith that you won't fail. After all, you're merely using the elements on a still object, nothing will happen to cause some sort of catastrophe before you use the elements." Celestia scoffed as she levitated the elements chest over to the bearers and opened it. Taking that as her cue, Twilight levitated the elements onto their respective bearer and turned to face the statue. Taking a closer look at the statue, she saw that it wasn't chaotic in anyway, in fact it almost looked like a minotaur, only slimmer, and without a bulls head and horns, and different legs. Okay, so maybe it only looked vaguely like a minotaur. Shaking off the distracting thoughts, Twilight spoke up. "Alright girls, you know what to do." She said, charging up her element alongside her friends. They slowly began to float into the air as a near blindingly bright rainbow corona formed around them. At the apex of their ascent, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, and Fluttershy began orbiting around Twilight. Suddenly a beam of light shot from the orbiters elements and into Twilights, before a colossal rainbow beam was launched from the sextet of ponies and impacted the statue. After several seconds, the light faded and the ponies slowly floated towards the ground. Once they were all safely on the ground, Celestia congratulated them. "Good job girls. Thanks to your efforts, we've completely negated any chance of the being sealed in the statue from returning within the next thousand years!" She cheered. As the other ponies began cheering, they all thought the moment was perfect, until a slurping noise ruined the mood. "Impressive light show, but why did you do it during the day? Wouldn't it have been more awesome at night?" A feminine voice asked from behind the septet of ponies. Turning towards the voice Celestia spoke. "We were merely reinforcing the protective wards holding the-" She suddenly cut off as she caught sight of the questioner. "What is it? Do I have something on my face?" The questioner asked, pulling a hand mirror out of seemingly nowhere and looking at their reflection in it. "No, don't appear to have anything on my face. But just to be sure. Hey! Pink diabetes, you see anything on my face?" She asked, turning towards Pinkie, who pulled a magnifying glass out of her mane and used it to inspect the questioners face while the rest of the ponies looked on in shock. "Hmm, nope, not that I can see, miss!" Pinkie said with a smile. "Then I have no idea WHY she suddenly stopped speaking when she saw me. Maybe she really wants my drink?" The being asked, looking at their half full soda cup with a straw in it. "Yeah, maybe THAT's it. Well you can't have it! It's mine and I paid money for it." The being said to Celestia, pointing one of its fingers at her. Finally snapping out of it, Celestia spoke up. "B-b-b-but how did you escape?!" She suddenly yelled. "Ooooh, you mean why I'm not that statue, don't you? That's an easy one, silly!" The being giggled happily. "Because I didn't want to be." She continued whilst still giggling. "P-princess!" Twilight exclaimed, "What should we do?" "I-I-I Don't know Twilight, if she can defeat the elements effects simply by not wanting to, I can't see how we can beat her." Celestia sighed. "I don't care who she is! I'll still beat her with one hoof tied behind mah back!" Applejack exclaimed before charging the being. As she neared, Applejack suddenly found herself galloping backwards. Halting with a look of complete confusion on her face, she sat down in thought. "How'd you do that?!" Pinkie exclaimed, suddenly on the beings shoulder. "I totally reversed the laws of applied motion around her." The being said, raising a hand, to which Pinkie pumped with her hoof. "Pinkie!" Rarity shouted, "I thought you knew better!" "I don't just leave her hanging, that'd be mean!" Pinkie retorted. "And as reward!" The being said. "You get a bag of skittles!" It finished, reaching into a pocket on its strangely patterned blue outer garment and handing it to Pinkie. "Don't forget to tell me if you can taste the rainbow." "W-ho a-a-are y-y-y-you?" Fluttershy whimpered, barely audible over the light breeze blowing though the area. Standing proudly and thrusting her outstretched thumb at herself, the being spoke. "I am Jenn-" before near instantly being cut off as a screaming midnight blue projectile smashed into her with the force of an eighteen wheeler. "ILLOGIC MANDATE! THOU SHALT NOT TERRORIZE MINE SUBJECTS SO LONGTH AS WE DOTH DRAW BREATH!" The projectile screeched. The being now Identified as Illogic Mandate merely reached inside her outer garment and withdrawing a device that looked similar to the griffon fire talons she's heard about. Suddenly realising what it was, she began to call out to the most obviously princess Luna, but was too late as Illogic had pointed it at Luna's face and was pulling the trigger. Bracing for the inevitable loud bang, she was suddenly let down as a contented mmm echoed from Luna's mouth. "Curseth thou and thine whiskey pistol." The now very heavily intoxicated alicorn princess said before falling over sideways and beginning to snore. "You'd kind of expect her to have built up a tolerance considering how many times I've used that on her, but she never did." Illogic merely noted as she stood up. "Now then!" She exclaimed with a finger pointed in the air and a sudden aura of light shining behind her. "You owe me three bits for another soda since Luna spilled the one I just had!" She demanded, levelling her at Celestia. "I shall do no such thing! Eighteen hundred years ago you were a complete menace to pony society! Why should I do anything for you?!" Celestia bellowed. "Because I snagged this from an antiquities store and have just prevented a whole lot of shit happening in the future. By the way, you now have a tab at... Didn't have a sign so I don't know its name, but you owe then four hundred bits." She said with a smile before reaching into her lower garments pocket and pulling out- "*Inhalation of breath* The alicorn amulet!" Twilight gasped as she reached for the amulet, only to have it jerked away from her greedy hooves. "As if. Like you need anymore power, miss element of magic. Besides, I'm prreeeeetty sure letting you touch an ancient eldritch artefact that corrupts the minds of those who wear it wouldn't sit well with old quasar butt here." Illogic said with a gesture to Celestia. "I'M NOT FAT!" Celestia screamed in the royal canterlot voice. "Well certainly not as fat you were eighteen hundred years ago, that's for sure." She said, derailing the now blushing princesses train of thought. "You don't seem all that evil. In fact, if what you're saying is true, you just saved us from one hell of a headache in the future." Twilight mused aloud. "Indeed I did. Also, not sure if late or not, but take any warning from your future self with a grain of salt, and take something for your anxiety issues, you could die of a heart attack from them." "How do you know all this?" Twilight fearfully asked. "Fan wiki. Got all kinds of neat facts on there. But enough meta talk, I'm off to go buy myself another drink. Chaio!" Illogic said before sneezing and vanishing entirely. "So, ah think we can all agree that that girl ain't right in the head?" Applejack asked, receiving a murmur of agreement from the rest of the group. "She. She said I've lot weight..." Celestia said dreamily. "You think princess Celestia is gonna be okay?" Rainbow asked whilst gesturing at the blushing princess. "I'm not sure, but we have to find out all we can about this Illogic Mandate as we can, so we know how to beat her in case she tries to harm anypony." And with that, the sextet of ponies galloped away from the blushing alabaster alicorn and her intoxicated midnight blue sister.