//------------------------------// // Shards of Glass // Story: Life, Death, and Ponies // by thunderclap //------------------------------// Back On Earth: A little Over a Month Ago Blackstar woke up from his meeting with God and [your name] feeling almost numb. Almost being the key word. He pulled himself over to the edge of the bed and sat rubbing at his temples with his hands. All of his memories from when he was a pony started flooding his mind; images of his family, his loving parents and sister. And Lily, the mare he left behind. Memories of time spent with Lily wouldn’t leave the forefront of his mind. All of the moments from their youth, running around their hometown and getting into trouble where they could. He would make whatever jokes came to mind and she would humor him and laugh at them. When they got older Lily showed an interest in taking over her family’s flower shop, while Blackstar wanted to become the greatest magician in all of Equestria. Blackstar also started to notice a growing interest in his childhood friend. The new feelings for Lily scared Blackstar so he tried to hide them by going after other mares. In the end, he couldn’t bring himself to anything serious with these mares. He would’ve told Lily about his feelings, except he was afraid to. He thought that their different goals would eventually cause the relationship to die. And then that fateful summer happened. Nightmare Moon returned only to be defeated by the new embodiments of the Elements of Harmony. Among them was Twilight Sparkle the Element of Magic. Blackstar became fascinated by Twilight. If he wanted to become the greatest magician in all of Equestria then he would have to become better than her. He spent over a year learning everything he could about magic and Twilight Sparkle’s life. When Blackstar felt he was ready he told his family that he was going to Canterlot to further his studies. The day before he left there was a town-wide celebration to see him off. And as he left his unspoken emotions for Lily reached a fever pitch and he kissed her. That kiss was everything Blackstar had hoped it would be and more. Now that his emotions had been laid bare and he knew that there was somepony special waiting for him at home, his apprehension melted away and he made the journey to Canterlot, and that journey ended his life. Finally, the moment he died played out in his mind again. Blackstar slowly drifted back into reality and shifted on the edge of the bed. He looked up at the mirror and his reflection stared coldly at him. ‘This isn’t my reflection.’ Blackstar thought. ‘This’ll never be my reflection. I was an idiot for leaving home. I could’ve been happy. I should’ve just stayed with Lily. If I had then everything would’ve been great. I mean, I would never become the world’s greatest magician. But then again, I’d still have magic!’ Blackstar closed his eyes once more and lay down on the bed before continuing his train of thought. ‘I can only imagine how Lily and my parents will take the news about my death. Dear Celestia, it’ll probably destroy them. And it’s all my fault. I just had to prove I was better than Twilight Sparkle. If I just knew when to quit and went home when the school wouldn’t teach me, but no I didn’t do that. Instead I went and died, with nopony to blame but myself.’ At that moment Blackstar remembered something from his conversation with God and you. ‘No it’s not my fault. It’s that bastard [your name]’s; him and that thread of fate of his. It’s his fault that I’m stuck in his body. I bet he’s been having the time of his life in my body. And who knows what he’ll do to Lily when he talks to her. That son of a bitch probably will probably take advantage of her. I can’t let that happen! There has to be something I can do!’ Blackstar racked his trying to find a solution to his problems, growing more and more desperate with each passing moment. Finally, inspiration struck him. Blackstar stood up with an odd grin slapped across his face. ‘I know what I can do. I’ll kill myself. The last time I did that God gave me a new body so this time shouldn’t be any different. And if he doesn’t send me back home then I’ll try again, anything to keep that asshole away from my Lily. Blackstar hobbled over to the mirror and sneered at his reflection. “What do you think of that you bastard? I’m coming for you. There’s no way I’m going to let you have my life.” Suddenly, Blackstar drove his fist into the glass causing pieces of it to shatter with a loud crash. He didn’t pay any mind to the noise and picked up a piece of glass with his bloody hand. Before he could talk himself out of it, he dragged the sharp glass across both of his wrists. He barely felt anything as the blood poured out of his body. In fact he felt an odd rush that a few of the other patients at the hospital had mentioned when they had done something similar. Blackstar barely heard the door open when he started to feel his consciousness slip away; confident that he would be reunited with his precious Lily soon. Stan and Karen shot up in their bed when they heard a loud noise ring out from somewhere. Stan barely felt the adrenaline enter his system before he realized where the sound came from. He flung the covers off of him, grabbed a baseball bat he kept handy in case of break-ins and rushed off to Blackstar’s room with Karen close behind. When Stan opened the door he was horrified at what he saw. He saw Blackstar with a piece of glass in his hand and blood gushing out of his hands. Blackstar was starting to fall over when Stan leapt out and caught him. Karen gasped when she made it to the doorway and to panic, tears running down her cheeks. Stan had to fight back his own tears, if we wanted to have any chance of saving Blackstar. “Karen, honey, calm down.” Stan said in the most reassuring tone while taking off his shirt and pressing it against the wounds. “I need you to go and call an ambulance. And when you’re done with that I’m going to need a lot more cloth to try and stop the bleeding.” “Why would he do this? Things were finally starting to work out.” Karen whispered, slightly dazed. “I don’t know, but that’s not important right now.” Karen gave Stan a nervous nod and rushed to grab her cell-phone. Stan continued to apply pressure to Blackstar’s wrists and felt his mind rush trying to make sense out of all this. He had been working with you for years, and he knew more about you than you’d ever care to admit. And in all that time you’d never tried taking your own life. You’d never seriously considered it either. Of course, he didn’t know about the situation between you and Blackstar. In the end Stan managed to calm himself down and decided the reason behind this would reveal itself eventually. At the moment he was more concerned with saving Blackstar’s life. The paramedics arrived a few minutes later and strapped Blackstar to a crash-cart and rushed him to the hospital. Stan and Karen did their best to explain the situation to Derek while leaving out a few details. Stan ended up cleaning the broken glass and eventually went back to sleep. Blackstar found himself drifting in the white void again. He congratulated himself and called out to get God’s attention. “Hey, I died again. Isn’t this the part where I get a new body? And if it’s not too much trouble, could I get sent back to my old world?” “I’m not going to send you back.” God responded with an edge in his voice. “Why not!? I need to get back home! I need to keep [your name] from taking Lily from me!” Blackstar screamed in desperation and rage. “So that’s what this is about.” God said with a disappointed sigh. “[Your name] and I told you that once someone dies they cannot be revived in their own world. And yet here you are expecting me to do just that. I’m only going to tell you this once: do not try anything like this again, or I will not hesitate to send you to Hell. You had your chance with Lily, and unfortunately you died before anything could come of it.” “Does that mean you’re going to send me to another world?” Blackstar asked hopefully. “No, you should be waking up shortly. Your suicide attempt failed.” Shortly after that, Blackstar felt himself wake up. He groggily sat up and was immediately assaulted with the familiar sterile scents of a hospital. Blackstar mumbled something to himself before someone rushed over to him and wrapped their arms around him. “What the hell were you thinking?!” Stan whispered in Blackstar’s ear. “You worried us to death.” “I’m sorry.” Blackstar deadpanned. “It won’t happen again.” “I hope so. But just to be safe I’m going to find a Psychiatrist to help you through this.” “You mean like it helped all the other times?” Blackstar replied with heavy sarcasm. “I know it’s a longshot, but there’s someone I know of that has a pretty good track record of dealing with things like this.” Blackstar merely rolled his eyes at the prospect and later that week he was dragged to the office of his new Psychiatrist. The only thing silver lining to the whole situation was that his cast was finally off and he could walk without crutches. Blackstar stepped into the office and saw his new Therapist. She was an older woman with graying hair and hard lines in her face. She was dressed professionally and was regarding Blackstar with a calculating gaze. “You must be [your name].” The doctor stated. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Now, please take a seat and we can get started.” Blackstar did as he was told and sat in the chair opposite of her, slumping down into it and avoiding her gaze. “I understand I’m not the first Therapist you’ve been to.” “That’s right.” Blackstar lied. “I’ve been to nearly a dozen different ones over the years.” “That makes sense. you were forced to move around a lot. It’s hard to go to visit a doctor that’s several states away. Let’s hope that I’m the last one you’ll ever have to visit.” “You can say that again.” Blackstar huffed, still avoiding eye contact. “Alright I’ll dispose of the pleasantries.” The Therapist said in an even tone. “Why did you try to kill yourself?” “Stan must’ve given you my file. So why don’t you tell me why I did it?” “He did, and I read it several times over this past week. He said you showed several signs of Major Depressive Disorder and possible signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. He also said that you had tendencies to push others away and shut them out. But he never said anything about suicidal tendencies. Suicide isn’t something someone just does for no reason. Something prompted you to do it, would you mind telling me what?” “I would actually.” Blackstar replied. “Even if I did tell you, you wouldn’t believe me.” Blackstar finished with a mumble. “What was that?” The Therapist asked. “Nothing, look, nothing prompted me to do it. I just did it, and I’m not going to do it again. So can I please go now?” “Sorry but you’re booked for a full hour. Now, we don’t have to talk this session. You can just sit there and relax. It’s been pretty stressful in your house lately, hasn’t it?” Blackstar simply nodded and did his best to relax. Annabeth was driving down a small town road looking for the address Blackstar had given her. She had called the house a few days before and was shocked by what she heard. As she pulled into the driveway she took a deep breath and thought about what she was going to say. Scratch that, she knew exactly what she wanted to say. Dozens of emotions may have been swirling around inside of her, but only one was at the forefront of her mind. She stepped out of her truck and walked towards the door. She rang the doorbell and was greeted by who she guessed was his adopted mother. “Hi, Ah’m Annabeth Smith. [Your name] and Ah are friends. Ah heard about what happened with him.” “I’m Karen Lewis. My husband Stan told me about you. He thinks seeing a friend will help [your name].” “Where is he right now?” “He’s in his room right now. Stan’s keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t… try anything again.” Karen replied, choking up slightly. “I’ll show you where it is.” “Thank ya, Ah’ll try not t’be too much of a bother to ya.” “Don’t worry about it.” Karen led Annabeth upstairs and knocked on a door. Stan’s voice came from the other side and the two of them walked into the room. “Honey, this is Annabeth, she’s [your name]’s friend you were telling me about.” Stan looked away from Blackstar who was lying on his bed, halfheartedly reading a book, to smile up at his wife. “That’s great, did ya hear that [your name]? You’ve got a visitor.” Blackstar answered in the form of a grunt. Stan looked at Annabeth with an apologetic smile. “He’s been like this ever since the incident. Now that you’re here I’ll leave the two of you alone. You probably have a lot of catching up to do. Come on, Karen.” With that, both Stan and Karen walked out of the room. Once Annabeth could no longer hear their footsteps she turned towards Blackstar and started to yell at him. “What the Hell were ya thinkin’?!” “I take it they told you about the suicide attempt?” Blackstar replied, closing his book. “Yer goddamn right they told me about it. And how dare you treat it like it’s nothin’.” Annabeth growled. “Why do you care? It had nothing to do with you.” “Is that what you think? That yer the only one killin’ yerself would effect?!” Annabeth screamed, grabbing Blackstar by the collar of his shirt. “That’s not how ya used t’think. Back when we went to school together Ah asked ya if ya had ever tried anythin’ like this. You told me you would never do anything like that. You said that yer dad’s suicide caused ya so much pain that if yer own would cause a fraction of it t’someone else that ya wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on yer worst enemy.” “Well, obviously I’m not that guy.” Blackstar spat back. Annabeth paused for a moment and released her hold on Blackstar’s shirt. “What do ya mean by that?” “What do you mean?” Blackstar asked nervously. “Somethin’ about the way ya said that. It just felt off. Is there somethin’ yer not tellin’ me?” Blackstar frantically searched for some sort of explanation, but none of them seemed good enough. In the end he just let out a weak laugh and shrugged his shoulders. “Ya know what, why don’t I just tell you the truth. I’ll probably get sent to an asylum but who cares. I’m not actually [your name]. He and I died over a month ago and God switched our bodies.” “If God intervened then why didn’t he just bring the two of ya back t’life?” Annabeth asked, highly skeptical of the whole thing. Blackstar spent the better part of an hour explaining his situation to Annabeth He left out a few details, like how he used to be a pony among other things, but other than that she knew everything. “Do ya expect me t’believe all that?” “No I expect you to call me crazy and to have me locked up.” Annabeth seemed to think about it for a while and her expression softened a little. “Well it is a tough pill t’swallow, but, [your name]… er Blackstar, or whatever it is yer callin’ yerself. So, while I may not fully believe ya, Ah’ll come around whenever Ah can and listen to any more of yer stories.” “But you were [your name]’s friend, not mine.” “Ah’m yer friend too. Listen, Ah’ll be in town fer a few days, so Ah’ll drop by and check in on ya tomorrow. See ya later, Blackstar” And just like that, she left, leaving Blackstar dazed and confused.