//------------------------------//
// Magic 
// Story: Discord's Pet Human 
// by Thorizard 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 5: Magic


They haven't stopped me. I look back and see that I'm alone. I'm in some light woods now, so I can't see the picnic area anymore. I haven't thought for one moment about where I'm going, and I haven't thought about going back.
I don't cry. I don't spend my time worrying about them. I don't even think really. All I really do is walk, not paying attention to myself, to anyone else, to the woods, to anything.
Still, I slowly start to notice the odd things appearing in the woods. Trees start to repeat. Animals start to look at me. The woods turn into a forest and eventually I find myself in an enclosing, not even realizing how I had walked in because the trees are surrounding me fully now. I don't think I could even squeeze between them, and they're too tall to climb. I turn around looking for a way out. When I face ahead again, I see Discord, and he looks angry.
“What?” I say, opening my arms wide. “You gonna get more satisfaction from messing with me? Or are you gonna just admit that you made a mistake and send me home?”
He snarls at me, but I keep my eyes hard and glare right back. He walks forward slowly. “I could say that you need to watch your tone when talking to me, but I see that there isn’t much I can threaten such a stupid boy with. You feel as if you’ve seen the worst of your life, and I don’t mean to threaten, but I am warning you for your sake. If you don’t act more carefully, you’ll feel regret and despair the kind of which you’ve never known.”
“Shut up!” I step forward and get ready to fight him with all that I have. “I’m sick of you saying everything vague, and I’m sick of your damn games! Just tell me why you brought me here!”
“Why don’t you tell me why you came first?”
I look at him. He doesn’t move an inch, and for a second, I don’t either. “I thought life couldn’t get any worse, so I figured it could be better somewhere else. But I can’t live in a world that’s so fake.”
“Is the world fake? Or are you just so used to being worthless that you’re starting to miss it?”
“Stop talking around it and tell me why the hell I’m here!”
“You’re here by your own choice. You wanted a new life, and it’s not my fault that you wanted that new life to be miserable so badly that you wouldn’t take friendship from six beings absolutely dedicated to the word.”
“That’s not true! You read my mind and knew that I was desperate!”
“No one here has once read your mind except for that one moment when I needed to convince you that I could. Fluttershy and I told you that so you would know that you couldn’t keep anything from us.”
“You’re lying! I know you’ve been in my head since we met!”
“Calm down,” he says as if he can make me do anything. “I could force you to sit down right now, but I want you to listen to me in your own way.”
“If you’ve been reading my mind, and I know that you have, has everyone else been doing it too?”
“Mind-reading is dark magic, so very few ponies can learn it. I can do it, but I don’t need to use magic to know. You’re simple. I can read your face and figure out almost exactly what you’re thinking.”
“I can’t trust a single word you say.”
“No one ever has, Caleb, so don’t think yourself to be so special.”
I look around, but this isn’t a real place. He’s made the illusion that we’re in this meadow surrounded by trees that are suffocatingly and impossibly close to each other. Nothing moves. There are no animals, no breeze, no sound. Discord and I are all that's here in this fake meadow in a fake world.
"So why did you pick me over any other human? Am I more fun to mess with because I'm so stupid and miserable?"
"Don't be so confident in yourself," he says, still not showing emotion. "Actually, I much prefer to play those sorts of games with ponies that think themselves to be incredibly intelligent like Twilight and Celestia. But that's a different story. You want me to tell you why I picked you, is that right? Because I don't think you'll like the answer."
"Just tell me already."
He rolls his eyes. "You're such a disrespectful punk."
"Yeah, whatever," I say. "Just say it."
"I'm afraid that's it."
"What?"
"I picked you because of who you are. Not that you're alone in being disrespectful, or that you're special for being miserable. I picked you because you actually seem to enjoy it."
"What are you talking about?"
"You are aware of why I was to take a pet, correct?"
"Yeah. Fluttershy said you needed one to become a better person."
"Eh hem. Spirit actually. Well she also is allowing me to take a pet because she feels that I have reached a point in my reformation to being 'good' where I can begin to have responsibility and take care of something besides myself."
"So?"
"So that is the reason I chose to take a pet. Now why did I pick a human of all things? Animals that can't talk tend to bore me, and enchanting them is only fun when they can make a mess of things. Plus, I prefer controlling by mental possession rather than forced slavery."
"Huh?"
"Now why did I choose you out of all humans? Yes, I did my research. I knew that you would be more likely to accept. I also knew that you probably wouldn't like me or Equestria at all. I picked you because I truly felt that you needed a chance for a change."
"I don't believe you, but why not just send me somewhere nicer?"
"Because that would be a wasted effort. If I was going to help you, I was determined to follow through until you had gotten better."
"Gotten better? I'm poor, not sick."
"Caleb, you are very sick. You're one of the most masochistic beings I've ever seen. Enjoying pain to an extent is one thing, but you see no reason to live unless you're suffering. Can't you see the problem in that?"
“Whatever. Can we go back now?”
The look on his face is priceless. He stares at me open-mouthed for a second; not with any magic, just an open-mouthed and wide-eyed Discord unable to believe that someone didn’t respect his oh-so-humble opinion. It makes me smirk a little. Then he grinds his teeth together so hard that his fang cuts his lip open. He looks around the forest trap and pulls on his face.
“I don’t know how you didn’t get shot in that hell-hole with that cocky, ungrateful attitude of yours. No, we’re not done yet, boy. I know that you don’t like me, and I know that you don’t have any friends. I know you didn’t have any before you came, but I’m hoping you can make friends with the pets back at the lake. Animals are often easier to get along with for some humans and ponies, but I can’t really understand why. Fluttershy always tries to explain it to me, but she can’t do it without using multiple forms of the word ‘cute.’”
“Hooray, now I can be friends with furries, a feather-brain, and a freaking turtle.”
His hateful glare makes me smile. “I’ve decided to give you the power to talk to animals, but I can’t enchant humans or ponies in such a way. I’ve found I can only animate things that are inanimate or worthless like forest creatures. Therefore, I will be giving you some of my magical power to use for this purpose.”
“Alright sure. Abrakadammit.”
He turns around and walks away as the world starts to spin around me. I get dizzy and start falling.
I wake up in damp, soft grass. My eyes are still closed, but I can feel the warmth of the sun again, and I can hear the shallow lapping of the lake behind me as a gentle breeze pushes it around. I take a deep breath in and wonder what I’m gonna have to do to get out of here.
I open my eyes and see a turtle standing still in front of me. It cranes its neck to the side and says in a low, scratchy voice, “He woke up.”
Fantastic. I can understand and talk to animals. I can’t wait to hear what sponges have to say.
“Finally! Holy shit that piece of shit took forever to wake the hell up!” I look over and see Angel Bunny hopping toward me. He stops right in front of my face and waves his carrot at me. “Get the hell up! What you think you’re better than us? We’re on the same damn level! You’re a damn pet and I’m a damn pet, so you better listen to what I got to say!”
I sit up and raise my eyebrow at the puffball.
“Don’t even have the respect to say you’re sorry or introduce yourself even. You worthless piece of shit! Say something damn it! Or I’ll stick this carrot so far up your–”
“Calm down,” the turtle says slowly. “If Fluttershy wants us to be friends with Caleb, then we need to listen to her.”
“I don’t care one stinkin’ bit what that bitch says! She didn’t even make my salad right this morning! For the fourth damn day in a row!”
“Who?”
“Fluttershy, you dip-shit owl!”
“I heard you, Mr. Bunny,” the owl says, flapping and landing in front of me as well. “Forgive our friend’s rudeness, Caleb. He hasn’t seemed to learn what the word ‘filter’ means.”
“I can tell,” I say.
“He can understand us?” Tank asks.
“Fluttershy failed to inform of us that he’d been enchanted so,” Owlowiscious says. “No matter. Let’s use this to make friends with him.”
“Right. Friends,” I say.
“Don’t you agree with him, bucko!” Angel threatens, waving the carrot in my face again. “You and me: we ain’t friends! You and them: I don’t care, but I don’t trust you. Just cause you can talk on our level doesn’t mean you’re on of us.”
“I thought you said we’re on the same level?”
“Nah, I said you ain’t better than us! And that’s damn right cause you’ll never be on our level! You got some spell put on you so you can talk to us, but you ain’t one of us!”
I roll my eyes and try to turn away, but I’m surrounded by stupid-looking animals with attitudes. Actually, not all of them have attitudes. Applejack’s dog, Winona, just looks at me and wags its tail. I raise an eyebrow at her, and she barks. She can talk to me, but the dumb bitch still barks.
“What do you want?” I ask her.
“Oh! Oh! You got any apples?” She starts running around and chasing her tail. “Applejack can make so much yummy food with apples!” She bites her tail and yelps.
“Oh, Winona, do stop being so stupid,” Opalescence says while stirring in her curled-up laziness. Apparently, she’s such a lazy cat that she can’t even get off her ass to insult her friends.
I turn around and look at Gummy, the baby alligator. Its big, purple eyes looking opposite directions and its inward-turned feet exude uncanny amounts of intelligence. I look at it for a moment, and then decide to ask, “You got anything to say?”
It opens its mouth for a second, smiling wide with its toothless grin before saying with the intelligent delivery of a scholar, “Candy.”
I turn back to Devil Bunny and Owlfishes.
“What are you looking at, fatass?” the white punk says.
I blink, wondering how to put this statement together. Finally, I say, “I guess I’ve just been thinking that stupid owners breed stupid pets.”
I can't help but grin as big as the night sky when I see the look of fury on that furry freak's face. He walks right up to me and points at the ground. I assume that means that I should come down to his level. I decide that I want to, so I lie down on my belly, holding my grin up with one hand as I look at his silly scowl.
He lowers his voice really low and says with intended menace, "Did you just call us stupid, bub?"
I decide to whisper just as quietly, but with a little more mockery while I say, "Why no. What would make you think that I said something like that?"
"Good," he says with his full angry voice again. "Cause if you ever insult my friends and me again, I'm gonna make you wish you were never born, bucko!"
"I already do, pal," I say with as much hate as I can muster. "Next time you make a threat at me, make sure you can deliver something threatening. Otherwise, you could sound– oh what's the word? Oh, right. Stupid."
His eyes light up with anger and he throws himself at me, so I try to smack him away. Instead of my hand hitting him though, he vanishes. I hear a splash behind me and turn around to see him splashing about and cursing everything. 
"I swear if that was Princess Can't-Fly-Right I'll rip her damn wings right off!" he shouts, turning around. I look to see who did it too. But there are no ponies near us. Discord isn't here either. I look way across the lake to see the 7 of them not paying us any attention. "Who did that?"
I look back around to see every animal looking at Angel, except Owlowiscious. He's looking straight at me.
“Well, who did it?” Angel demands as he swims to shore.
“Who indeed,” Owlowiscious says as he floats over to my side, cocking his head to the side at me.
“If you know who did it, you better say something right–” Angel stops.
I look down at my hands. There are no blue sparks flying out of them or anything, but they definitely feel heavier. It feels as if something pumps in my veins besides blood. My heart beats in my head, and the hairs on my arms stand up straight. Is it possible?
“I think you understand what I mean,” the owl says.
“Owlowiscious,” Tank says sluggishly, “what are you talking about?”
“That’s simply not possible, Owlowiscious,” Opalescence says, walking in front of the owl. “The human could not use magic any more than we can.”
“You’re right, Opalescence,” he says, starting to pace in front of me with his wings behind his back. “The human could not use magic; that is, before he went into that forest. Something happened in that forest. The human could not use magic before he could talk to and understand we animals. He can now speak to and understand we animals through some magical force. Therefore, whatever happened in that forest to give the human the ability to speak to us also gave him some amount of controllable magic powers.”
“Who gave you magic, bub?” Angel demands, wringing its tail out and stomping up to me.
“None of your business, fluffy,” I spit at him.
“You better–”
“Actually,” Owl interrupts, “I think it’s quite plain who gave him magic. He was not in the Everfree Forest, so it could not have been Zecora or any dark enchantment already living in the woods; no one knew that he had entered the woods except those of us at the lake; and none of the ponies here would have given him magical power, knowing that the consequences could be dangerous. There is only one suspect remaining.”
“Then it truly was Discord,” Opal says. “Oh, how could he?”
“Cause he’s a damn maniac, always thinking of himself and how to mess things up; that’s how!” Angel shouts, stomping around more, shaking water onto the grass.
“But the question is why would Discord give Caleb this magical power?” Owl asks, insinuating that he has an answer.
“Didn’t he just want Caleb to talk to us so that we could help him?” Tank asks.
“Course not!” Angel attacks. “That freak is getting some kinda laugh over there watching this whole thing. He doesn’t like to help people. He gets off to watching everyone else suffer!”
“Don’t be so quick, Angel,” Owl says.
“Oh dear,” Opal says. “You can’t really believe that Discord truly meant to help Caleb, can you? After he just betrayed the entire continent mere weeks ago? He cannot be trusted!”
“You’re damn right, he can’t!” Angel screams, finally starting to sound as if he’s losing his voice.
“Actually, I can believe that,” Owl says, flapping his wings and floating around the circle again while I watch them all, still not adding anything. “It only makes sense that Discord would have good intentions.”
“Now, I know you’re full of shit,” I chime in.
“Apparently, I agree with a human,” Angel adds. “I never wanted that crap to happen.”
“What do you mean, Mr. Owl?” Tank adds.
“Discord needs the trust of the ponies back right now,” Owl begins, “so I can only believe that he is undertaking this task to further that trust. I doubt he would make such a controversial decision right now if he thought it was not for a good purpose. Therefore, I think that he is in fact trying to help Caleb.”
“I’m afraid that I’m not quite convinced, friend,” Opal retorts. “You said that ‘it only makes sense,’ and your argument is very logical, but Discord is neither of those things. How can you so surely assume that he suddenly is?”
“Fat cat’s right,” Angel says, nodding along. “Discord doesn’t make any sense no matter how you look at it.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, my friends,” Owl continues. “Discord’s agenda may not be sensical to us, but he does have one. He has goals, and he strives to achieve them in one way or another even if we can’t understand his methods.”
“I highly doubt he had such methods when he faked his sickness,” Opal responds. “Do you really think that he wanted to check on Twilight’s affection for him?”
“I don’t,” Owl says, “but I do think he had intentions. One of them may have simply been entertainment. Another may have been to check on our princess’s ego.”
My attention starts to fade. I have magic now, and I’m not using it for anything but listening to a bunch of woodland creatures debate why I have magic. It doesn’t matter why have magic. I have it, and I don’t intend on wasting it like Rarity and Twilight do. I’m not going to set up a picnic with a wave of my hand; I have the power to change things right now. But I can’t do that while sitting with these idiots.
I look at them without hearing a word they’re saying. I’m not sure if I’m actually tuning them out with magic, but it would explain how Rarity and Twilight can stay friends with Pinkie Pie. I need to leave and start getting to work on making some kind of difference. I focus on illusion. I need to leave a decent decoy so that they don’t notice anything while I leave. I focus my thoughts on leaving an impression of myself, an illusion that mimics the way I’ve been behaving the last few minutes. I focus on that illusion, and it appears over my skin, fitting like a glove.
Now, to get out of here. I should go right back to the woods. It’s the only place I know where I can be alone for a little. I focus my mind on the trees out of sight, and without lifting a finger, I hear no faint voices surrounding me. All that remains is the quiet chirping of birds and the buzzing of insects. I’m alone, but I’m more than myself. There’s a new person within me, and that person can change the world for good.