//------------------------------// // [FIXED] Episode 47: Welcome to AAAAAPLE-LOOSA! // Story: The Life of a Wanted Changeling (Comment Driven Story) // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// You reflect on your life so far. Let's see...by vowing righteousness you nearly destroyed an entire town, ponies have almost died, NIGHTSHADE almost died, and here you are...dropping. And maybe if everyling down there is very very silent...they will here you drop, like a pin. But, look on the bright side. You made friends with the princess of love, made friends with the Doctor's companion, fought a dragon, discovered you were a father, infiltrated Canterlot Castle by accident, and fended off an Ursa Major and her cub. You smile. Not such a terrible life, eh? Just as you were about to close your eyes and accept death, you saw something...a flying blue box. You silently apologize to Lady Luck and mutter under your breath. "No way." Since you already did the whole "life flashing before your eyes" the last time you we're plummeting you decide to reflect on your life so far as that happens again... Let's see... some bad things that happened after I vowed to be the good guy: almost destroyed an entire town, got deep into debt, got squashed, beaten, and betrayed, ponies have almost died, NIGHTSHADE almost died, lost one of my friends due to my screw-ups, became Equestria's Most Wanted, and I'm now falling to my death... really regret not learning how to fly right now. But, on the bright side: I've made some friends (Derpy, Cadance, Fluttershy, and Zecora), fought a dragon (Smaug), discovered that I'm a father, infiltrated Canterlot castle twice on accident, and I've even fended off an Ursa Major and her cub (too bad I'll never get to fulfill my promise to Fluttershy to apologize to the "little" guy). You begin to smile at all the good memories you remember as your life flashes before your eyes (including one confusing scene where you are hugging a younger looking ex-queen and that image-less crying again...). You then whisper to yourself, "Not such a bad life, eh?" Just as your about to close your eyes and accept your death, you see something... a flying blue box? You silently apologize to lady luck and mutter under your breath, "No way." You start waving at the TARDIS like a maniac and screaming, "Hey, over here, hey listen Doctor, hey HELP ME!" The TARDIS then begins to come your way, and just as it's about to reach you... it disappears. You stare at where the TARDIS was once at, before your face turns red in anger and you scream, "ARE YOU BUCKING KIDDING ME! THE ONE THING THAT CAN BUCKING SAVE ME AT THIS MOMENT HAS TO BUCKING DISAPPEAR RIGHT AS THEY ARE ABOUT TO BUCKING SAVE ME. GAHHHHHHHHH, BUCK YOU LADY LUCK, BUCK YOU TO THE END OF TIME AND/OR TO MY SOON-TO-BE DEATH. YOU HEAR ME YOU STUPID BUCKING EXCUSE FOR A GODDESS!!!" You start to breath deeply and you start to calm down. You decide that the best course of action is to think of someway to save you from becoming the world's first buggy pancake. ... *ding* IDEA! wait a sec didn't the changelings in the canterlot attack use there magic to slam into the ground, and not get hurt. So use that to save your self from becoming a pancake. and you might want to do it away from the town, so they don't think you attacking them. Cast your barrier spell and when you hit the ground, you start bouncing around the town wrecking stuff. Changelings normally have a ground-slam attack to reduce fall damage, but you weren't paying attention in assault class (during the Canterlot Invasion, you slammed into an inconveniently-placed cabbage cart which led to that one Royal Guardspony slipping on one of the cabbages and smashing headfirst into a bakery which in turn led to you briefly stuffing yourself on those delicious cakes and pies and cooki- Wait, you're getting off topic) You cast your shield spell, then impact the ground. Your shield takes the impact, You remember how changelings back at the hive were supposed to attend a week-long Assault class in order to learn how to form a magical barrier around themselves in order to perform a dive-bomb attack that would not hurt them on impact. Sadly, you skipped school that week in favor of watching over some foals in Canterlot (you were undercover as a babysitter at the time because those foals had the latest Assassins Creed game). Actually, since you didn't know how to fly, they had to catapult you during the invasion which resulted in you crashing into an inconveniently-placed cabbage cart (and you swore you heard someling scream "MY CABBAGES!" upon impact) which led to that one Royal Guardspony slipping on one of the cabbages and smashing headfirst into a bakery which in turn led to you briefly stuffing yourself on those delicious cakes and pies and cooki- Wait, you're getting off topic here. What if I used my force field spell instead of whatever spell they used during the invasion... yeah that just might work! You think to yourself in a confident tone. Wait... what if the impact ruins my awesome coat! I don't what to ruin my awesome coat!With that thought in mind, you somehow manage to take off your awesome coat and you put it into 'The Inventory' in mid-plummet. With a deep breath, you put up your force field and brace for impact... suddenly the symbol that was on your cheast started glowing and a golden glow surrounded you makeing you fall 10 times faster. stupid lady luck. Suddenly, the symbol on your chest begins to glow a midnight color and you start to fall ten times faster! You start to panic but somehow manage to keep your force field up. Unfortunately, your landing zone changes from a open field to (sadly for you) an alley in the western town. Why do I get the feeling that this symbol is in league with Lady Luck... *CRASH* IN THE ALLY and you go find a corner so you can check the Inventory to make sure nothing fell out when you lost it. While you're at it, you also take a look at your list of the skills you currently have. Luckily, one of your ideas worked for once! You manage to not get a single scratch on you (again, for once)! You decide that since your impact kicked up a cloud of concealing dust, now would be a good time to take a quick inventory check. You have: "Royal Canterlot Voice For Dummies" book "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book All Six Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories "Stun Spells and You" book Brown pouch with no Bits in it "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book Nightshade "Long Term Communication Spells For Advanced Unicorns" book List of all your powers and spells Note with your debt to The Doctor Your awesome coat of shadows Nightshades picture of you And you also decide to check/update your list of spells and powers, you have... Royal Canterlot Voice "Fus Ro Dah" shout "No Shadow Kick" attack Stun spell Force Field spell (can now use on reflex) Teleport spell Advanced Healing (apparently) Shape Shifting Transformation spell "Falcon Punch" attack "Shoryuken" attack You're about to take your awesome coat back out of The Inventory, but... When you pick yourself up off the ground, a yellow earth stallion is waiting for you. His grinning face suggests a serious case of lunacy. "Howdy there, stranger! Welcome to AAAAAPLE-LOOSA!" Someone is actually welcoming you? That's a change. He continues, "We ain't never seen one of you changelings before! Heard you boys attacked Canterlot. Had enough of the city life, huh? Can't blame you! Not when you've yet to experience the wonders of wonderful AAAAAPLE-LOOSA! You just keep yourself outta trouble, and we won't have any problems, y'hear?" Something tells you this place might not be so bad. If they don't mind that you're a changeling, now might be a good time to stash the cloak in the inventory. Until you figure out what happened with that outburst in the forest, it might be best to retire the Hooded Offender for a bit. And you're already sweating off what passes for changeling testicles because of the heat. The dust suddenly clears and you look up and see a Yellow Earth pony stallion wearing a brown stetson and a brown vest grinning at you with a face that suggests a serious case of lunacy, "Howdy there, stranger! Welcome to AAAAAPPLE-LOOSA!" So this place is called Appleloosa huh. And someling is actually welcoming me? That's a change.You think in confusion as he continues, "We ain't never seen one of you changelings before! Heard you boys attacked Canterlot. Had enough of the city life, huh? Can't blame you! Not when you've yet to experience the wonders of wonderful AAAAAPPLE-LOOSA! You just keep yourself outta trouble, and we won't have any problems, y'hear?" You are about to answer his question when he says, "Oh where are my manners, my name's Braeburn, what's yours?" You shake your head at Braeburn's enthusiasm, but then you respond, "My name's... Bugze. And don't worry, as long as noling here rats me out to the Royal Guard, I'll behave." Braeburn gives you a big smile before saying, "Don't worry pardner, Appleloosa is a town of second chances! Nopony here will ever rat ya out, I promise!" You can't help but smile at that and think, Something tells me that this place might not be so bad after all. If they don't mind the fact that I'm a changeling, then now might be a good time to keep my awesome coat in the inventory. Until I figure out what happened with that incident in the forest, it might be best to retire the 'Hooded Offender' thing for a bit. And with that thought in mind, your life in Appleloosa begins... 8 WEEKS LATER You decide to get a job (or few, maybe an "odds-and-ends" kind of "job" as you deliver things, put up signs, sweep floors, keep a lookout for buffalo, and other odd jobs to earn some bits (and repair anything you may have broken with your clumsiness)) You remember something your grandbuggy told you... Bugze, any changeling worth his salt can do half the household chores with just three things: a can of WD-40, vise-grips, and a roll of duct tape. Now help me tape this rocket to this here sledgehammer So you decide to buy those three things as soon as you get some bits and the store conveniently has a sale for those three items with the WD-40 and Duct tape being jumbo-sized Life in Appleloosa has been great! Sure, the newest wanted posters for "The Hooded Offender" added "fraud, animal cruelty, and assaulting the Elements of Harmony" to the charges in addition to a more reasonable (but still pretty high) bounty and there's alot of hard work doing odd jobs here and there for the past couple of weeks, like putting up signs, keeping a lookout for buffalo, the one time you judged a mild west dance (the less said about that disaster the better...), or sweeping old man Muffin's porch, but you're mainly known around town as "The Patcher": If someling needs something patched, then you're the bug to call. You got that nickname because after you received your first ever Appleloosan paycheck (minus deductions from everything you accidentally broke with your bad luck and clumsiness), you saw that the hardware store was having a sale and you suddenly remembered something your grandbuggy told you... @$$#%, any changeling worth his salt can do half the household chores with just three things: a can of WD-40, vise-grips, and a roll of duct tape. Now help me tape this rocket to this here sledgehammer. The rest of the memory becomes fuzzy and causes your downstairs to sting (you figure it must be one of those "traumatic repressed memories") so you decided to stop dwelling any further into it(*)and buy those three things (fortunately the sale led to you acquiring a jumbo-sized can of WD-40 and a jumbo-sized roll of duct tape in addition to the vice grips). Those three items soon proved their worth as you still manage to occasionally accidentally break things with your clumsiness and your patching up of those things led to ponies asking/hiring you to patch up more stuff for them. Whenever anyling in town ask why you always carry WD-40, vice-grips, and duct tape around with you, you would always say something like, "Every problem in the world can be fixed with one of two things; If it moves and it shouldn't: duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should: WD-40." "I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape." "Guns make you dumb. If at all possible, fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart." (You know gun's aren't real, but the line sounded cool at the time) And that's how you became known as "The Patcher". You even bought your own hat that looks like the 11th Doctor's stetson (you fanbugged over it for a while when you first saw it before proceeding to buy it). You've worn it every day that you've been in Appleloosa. Best of all, noling here cares that you're a changeling! They treat you like everypony else and it's awesome! You even took Nightshade out a few times (disguised as a unicorn filly version of herself and she mostly sleeps in 'The Inventory' when noling is looking), but her appetite drains quite a few of your bits every time you did (except for that one time Nightshade entered the local annual pie-eating contest and... lets just say your daughter was accused of cheating when she finished all 169 pies... in ten seconds flat... and still whined that she was still hungry...) "Hey! Bugze come on over here. Got somepony you'll might what to meet!" You smile when you hear him say that. Even though his enthusiasm and your clumsiness still cause you guys to occasionally get on each others' nerves, you and Braeburn have been best-friends since you got here. He's even letting you bunk at his place until you have enough Bits to buy your own place (you have 78 Bitsat the moment). You transform into a brown earth pony (even though Appleloosa kept its promise to keep your changeling-ness a secret, you can't risk letting anyling passing through know that you're a changeling) and begin to walk over to where Braeburn called you over. When you get over to where Braeburn called you over. He smiles and says, "Bugze, meet my cousin Applejack. Applejack, meet my bestest best friend: Bugze the Patcher." You reach out your hoof and say, "Howdy ther-*ack*!" You stop dead in your tracks when you see that Braeburn's cousin, Applejack, is actually APPLEJACK! You also see that Fluttershy, Twilight (who looks really upset for some reason), and Rarity are here as well. You look at Applejack face and see... no rage and just confusion? Maybe that 'changeling-detecting' spell wore off... You think to yourself in hopefully... What do you do?