//------------------------------// // Chapter One: The Big Deal // Story: Not Suitable for Celestia // by Underdogg //------------------------------// Spike was sitting by an unconscious Twilight, fanning her occasionally with a leaflet. "C'mon Twilight... *sigh*... She always gets so worked up over the smallest things..." Spike gazed out the window, recalling to his mind any events from that morning that would elicit such a reaction. "I don't remember sending anything personal to the Princess... I mean, it was a mistake, sure, but I hadn't slept for like a whole day! What does she care anyway about the Princess seeing her novels..." Spike turned his attention back to the purple unicorn in front of him, who was starting to twitch slightly. "Oh finally!" he murmured. Twilight opened her eyes, scanning her surroundings. She fixed her dreary gaze on Spike, who just stared right back with a forced smile. "Hey there..! How are you feeling, Twi?" Twilight's expression softened slightly as she eventually processed her surroundings. She slumped back down onto the bed she lay on. "Thank God." she whispered, and swallowed hard for the second time. Spike shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "What do you mean 'Thank God'?". Twilight giggled softly and closed her eyes again. She sighed deeply and rolled over onto her side. Spike stared dumbfound at her. "Twilight, what the hay has been going on with you lately? First you get all worked up over me sending a story or something to the Princess, then you pass out and wake up and suddenly everything's OK?!" There was an awkward silence that filled the air. "What did you just say?" Twilight suddenly spoke up. Her voice began to shake again, and Spike prepared himself for another one of her ordeals. "I said you yelled at me for sending some book of yours to the Princess, and then you collapsed on the floor in your room!" Spike jumped off of his seat and trumped over to the refrigerator. Twilight watched him pull a can of cola out of the lower shelf and crack it open. "*Gulp* *Gulp* *Guurlp* Ahhh... Honestly, Twilight, you always make such a big deal out of these things with the Princess... I'm sure she doesn't even care!" He turned to face her. "...what?.." In a violet flash, Twilight flew towards Spike at lightning fast speed, not too far off of Rainbow Dash's personal best. She crashed into the poor dragon sending him flying back and spraying beverage all over the floor. She stood over him with the most aggressive face he had seen on anypony he'd ever met. "Yaahh!!! Tw..Twilight.. what're you-" "SPIKE THE DRAGON. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?! THAT STORY WAS A ROMANTIC NOVEL I WAS WORKING ON FOR MANY WEEKS! AND NOW THE PRINCESS. PRINCESS CELESTIA IS GOING TO READ ALL THE SMUT THAT I WROTE AND... AND....." Spike just kept staring at her, her words rolling around in his head. He watched as her pupils flickered left to right, running thoughts through her head at enormous speed. "Spike, how long ago did you send it?" She urgently asked. "I dunno, I think, maybe.. it was this morning around 9:30? I think.." He fumbled back to her. "9:30?! OK, there's still time! We still have time! Spike, grab any essentials you need, we're leaving!" Twilight rushed around the room, magically levitating satchel bags and various assortments of canned food and books. Spike ran up to the bedroom to gather his belongings. As he folded his blanket he thought about what Twilight had just said. "Romance? Smut? I didn't know Twilight was into that sort of thing... Plus, why would she leave it lying around like that! Oh stallion... I hate it when this kind of thing happens." "Spike are you ready yet? We need to get out of here NOW!" Spike sighed and grabbed some spare bits from his piggy bank, his blanket and a couple of gems he had been keeping under his pillow. "Yeah, yeah... I'm coming..." Spike walked over to where Twilight was skimming through a spell book. He sat down, nimbly scratching the ground with his claw. "Good. Now, we need to stop at the bank of Ponyville first, if I recall the Princess left me a small amount of money in case of emergencies and -.. Spike are you listening?" Spike jumped slightly at the sound of his name. "Uhh.. Yeah you're gonna rob the bank urgently, right?" Twilight gasped slightly. "No! Spike, listen to me. I'm sorry for erupting like that at you, but as you can see, this is incredibly humiliating for me! I'm not sure if I can ever speak to Princess Celestia ever again!" Spike looked up at her for a split second, and then back down to the ground where he was scratching. "Yeah, I guess... I just feel bad, that's all." Spike said, barely above a whisper. "Well, where are we headed?" He queried cheerily. Twilight magically lifted a map up off of a shelf and levitated it in front of him. Spike examined the map, peering closer to the name of the city that had been circled. "England? Isn't that a bit far away?" Spike could only conceive how worn out he was going to be after this journey. "That's where I want to end up, yes. But if we move now we should be able to get there before the end of next week." Twilight acknowledged. "But Twilight do you know how far away England is? It's like across the whole Equestrian ocean! Do you know a water-breathing spell or something?" The dead-set attitude that Twilight was showing was starting to worry him. The look that she gave him was like he just asked her if the sky was blue. "Yes. Yes I do. And I do know how far away it is and that's precisely why we need to be there. Celestia has only ever been there once in her whole life. She'll never find us there." Twilight resumed gathering belongings, leaving Spike to enjoy his final moments in Ponyville. He groaned and fell back onto his back. End of Part One