//------------------------------// // Rainbow Falls, Three’s A Crowd, and Rivalries // Story: Friday Night Twilight II // by BlazzingInferno //------------------------------// Twilight is quiet tonight. The usual spread of apples and soda remains untouched. Maybe I should try buying some chips for next time. Either way, we’re nearing the end of the first episode. Rainbow Dash is about to secure her relay team a spot in the Equestria Games, no surprise there. The strange thing is that Twilight hasn’t said a word. I guess I’ll have to try. “So…” “Yes, she’s prodigy.” “Huh?” “Rainbow. She’s a prodigy, an exceptional flyer. Someday she’ll be a Wonderbolt and all her dreams will come true without her even working that hard.” “Do I detect a rivalry brewing?” She stares at me like I just threw cold water in her face. “Rivalry? With Rainbow Dash? Why?” “You said she’s extremely gifted, just like you.” “At flying and sports. My talents are completely different.” “Still sounds like a rivalry to me. Is that why you’ve been so quiet?” She levitates an apple into her hooves and takes a bite. “No.” “Then why? This show’s not worth watching without the Twilight Sparkle Commentary turned on.” She snorts out a laugh. “That’s what you call it?” “Whatever makes you stop moping.” She rolls her eyes and her horn lights up. “Fine, let’s just get this over with. I’ll explain when it’s over.” Twenty minutes later, I understand why she’s quiet. “So Discord showed up just to screw with your relationship with Cadence?” “Yup.” “Have you ever considered… I don’t know… punching him in the face?” “They edited that out.” “Seriously?” “I’m glad they did. It was stupid. I punch like a filly anyway.” I can’t help laughing. “I still want to see that.” “Cool it. That’s not all they left out.” “What else? Did he make you carry him all the way back home, too?” She shuts her eyes and shakes her head. “I wish it was just that. Remember what Cadence said?” “I try to tune that out.” “Ugh. She said life in the Crystal Empire was ‘wonderful’ and ‘predictable.’ ” “So?” “So that’s her married life with my big brother she’s talking about. I kept pestering her to tell me what she meant and then… then she did.” She’s stares down at the couch. She’s done the impossible; she made me care about her extended family. I grab an apple of my own and turn it over in my hands. “And?” “It’s… I don’t know how to start.” “Are they getting a divorce?” “What? No!” “Then it can’t be that bad.” “I guess. Cadence and Shining Armor are… trying to start a family. It’s not working.” “No foals?” “Nope, none. I feel so horrible that I forced her to admit it. Plus now I know way more about my brother’s love life than I ever wanted to.” “I don’t think apples and soda are going to help with that one.” “No… I was hoping watching the show would give me a clue of what to do next. What do you think?” The apple rolls out of my hands. “You’re asking me?” “I asked all my other friends; every single one of them said something different.” “What makes you think I can help?” “You obviously can’t make it any worse.” I reach for a fresh apple. She returns the dropped one into my hands before I can. I study its smooth surface. “Talk to her? Write her a letter?” “That’s all you’ve got?” “Twilight, the closest thing to a woman in my life leaves purple hair all over my couch.” She blushes deep red. “You going to eat that?” Before I can respond, the apple leaves my hands and finds its way into her mouth. “How about we do something different.” “I’m not watching football.” “Forget the TV. What do pony’s do for fun?” She looks around my apartment as she chews. “Want to go out?” “How? And where?” “Let’s get you some school supplies. Don’t tell me there’s neat piles of paper, pens, and notebooks somewhere in this dive.” “Somebody would see you.” “I’ll cast a spell. You’ll be the only one who can see or hear me.” I roll my eyes. This evening’s gone from a kid cartoon to an after-school TV movie. “No messing around, right? I don’t want people to think I’m crazy because I’m talking to my imaginary friend.” She jumps into the air and flies around my apartment like an oversized pigeon. A moment later she’s hovering next to me with a big smile on her face. “They’ll never know I was there.” “I’ll believe it when I see it.” --- I’m so glad the store’s nearly deserted. Twilight might be invisible and silent to the rest of the world, but I’m not so lucky. “Oh, and make sure you get extra college-ruled paper; you can never have enough.” The glee in her voice is almost sickening; we’re just looking at school supplies. All the same, I grab the package she’d pointing to and drop it in the cart. She started out in the child seat in the front of the cart, something I didn’t think was anatomically possible. Now that we’re in the school section, she’s airborne and clearly loving the store’s high ceilings. I clear my throat and mutter under my breath. “Tone it down.” “What was that?” “Tone it down.” I whisper. Finally she sets down on top of my cartful of Twilight-approved paper products. “Speak up.” Instead I whisper again. “Tone it down. This is just stuff for school.” “And that’s what’s so great about it. All these fresh supplies just waiting to be used to advance the cause of learning, or whatever it is you’re doing in college. I wish we had ballpoint pens in Equestria. Oh, maybe they have calculators on the next aisle!” With that she’s gone again. Maybe I can sneak over to the junk food section, or even the magazines. “Jake! Jake get over here! Help!” The security camera footage for this must be hilarious: gangly, unshaven twenty eight year old male who’s been robotically putting school supplies in a cart for fifteen minutes suddenly bolts for the toy section. I find her in that special pink aisle where they keep all the girl stuff. She’s hovering right in the center, chewing on her own front hooves. At first I don’t understand what’s wrong, not until I see what she’s discovered. “What… What is this?” I grin. “Ponies in toy form.” “But… But they’re so inaccurate!” She gently prods a few of the packages. “What is this? Goth Pinkie? Rainbow Dash with a purse? And where’s Applejack? They’ve got everypony else, so why no Applejack?” “Maybe she isn’t as popular.” “All the base designs are exactly the same! They painted all my friend’s faces on the some random pony’s androgynous body!” Thinking about that security camera footage is the only reason I’m not laughing. “Lighten up; they’re just kid’s toys.” “That’s no excuse for…” Air’s leaking out of her open mouth, and I know exactly why. “Yes, Twilight, that’s you.” To be fair, the toy looks nothing like her. Even so, she stares into its soulless, painted-on eyes for nearly a minute. Then she starts tilting her head from side to side. I think she’s trying to catch her own reflection in the plastic packaging. I start heading back the way I came. “Come on, let’s go finish buying school stuff.” “Buy… yes. I need to buy these.” “Pony toys?” “All of them… for research… and maybe a bonfire.” “I can’t afford all this, not if I’m going to eat this semester.” “I’ll pay you back.” “With what? Hay?” Finally she breaks off the staring contest with her toy self. “How about just one? Please?” It’s the compelling argument of a five year old. Still, I can’t stand up to the teary eyes she’s giving me. “Fine, but only one, and not one of the giant combo sets either.” She returns to her game of studying the entire collection. At last she settles on a little Rainbow Dash that comes with a hairbrush and a purse. “Heh heh heh. This is going to drive her insane.”