//------------------------------// // The Pony in Pink: Two Cupcakes/Can You Beat Me? // Story: Twilight: The Consulting Detective // by A Wise Pony //------------------------------// SPOILER WARNING: This Ponified episode contains heavy reference to the BBC Series Sherlock's 1st episode, A Study in Pink. DO NOT READ IF YOU OBJECT TO THESE SPOILERS! Sherlock © the BBC All MLP Characters © Hasbro. Unofficial names used where real names are unknown. *** The cabbie picked a room and pushed the door open. Twilight stepped inside as the pink mare flipped on the light. “So what do you think?” the cabbie asked. “It's up to you. You're the one who's gonna die here.” “No I'm not.” Twilight said. “That's what they all say,” the cabbie told her with a grin. “Shall we talk?” She took a seat at a table. Twilight sat down opposite her. “Bit risky, wasn't it? Took me away under the eye of about half a dozen policeponies? They're not that stupid. And Ms. Matilda will remember you.” “You call that a risk?” the cabbie scoffed. “Nah.” She reached into her other pocket and pulled out a plastic wrapped confection. The unicorn stared at the cupcake as if it was a snake. “Ooh, I like this bit,” the earth pony gloated. “'Cause you don't get it yet, do ya? But you're about to. I just have to do this.” She reached into her other pocket and pulled out a matching cupcake. “Weren't expecting that, were you? Ooh, you're gonna love this.” “Love what?” “Twilight Sparkle, look at you. Here in the flesh.” The cabbie was absolutely delighted. “That website of yours, your fan told me about it.” The mention of the mysterious third party once more stirred Twilight's interest. “My fan?” The cabbie disregarded the question. “You're brilliant. You are a proper genius. The Science of Deduction. Now that is proper thinking.” She frowned. “Between you and me sitting here, why can't ponies think? Doesn't it make you mad? Why can't ponies just think?” “Oh, I see,” Twilight said. “So you're a proper genius, too.” “Don't look it, do I?” the cabbie commented. “Funny little mare, driving a cab. But you know better then them, don't you. Chances are the last thing you ever know.” “Okay, two cupcakes,” Twilight observed. “Explain.” “There's a good cupcake and bad cupcake,” the pink pony said. “You eat the good cupcake, you live. Eat the bad cupcake, you die.” “Both cupcakes are of course identical,” Twilight said. “In every way,” the cabbie assured her. “And you know which is which?” “Of course I know,” the earth pony said. “But I don't.” “It wouldn't be a game if you knew,” the cabby explained, rolling her eyes. “You're the one who chooses.” “Why should I?” Twilight demanded. “I've got nothing to go on. What's in it for me?” “I haven't told you the best part yet! Whatever cupcake you choose, I take the other one. And then together, we have our just desserts.” The cabbie smiled a grim grin, which Twilight matched. “I won't cheat,” the cabbie promised. “It's your choice. I'll take whatever cupcake you don't. Didn't expect that, did you, Ms. Sparkle?” “This is what you did?” Twilight asked. “To the rest of them? You gave them a choice.” “And now I'm giving you one.” The earth pony settled back in her seat, waiting patiently. “You take your time. Get yourself together. I want your best game.” “It's not a game,” the unicorn objected. “It's chance.” “I've played four times, I'm still alive,” the cabbie pointed out. “It's not chance, Ms. Sparkle, it's chess. It's a game of chess, with one move, and one survivor. And this...” She leaned forwards. “This, is the move.” With one hoof, she slid a cupcake closer to Twilight. The unicorn regarded the dessert warily. “Did I just give you the good cupcake or the bad cupcake?” the cabbie asked. “You can choose either one.” She settled back and stared at Twilight. The detective matched the stare. Neither mare moved for a very long time. *** Inside another cab, Applejack held the computer open with one hoof and held her phone to her ear with the other. “No,” she corrected the policepony on the other end of the line. “Detective Inspector Rainbow. I need to speak to her. It's important. It's an emergency!” She noticed a turn approaching on the map. “Left here please, left here,” she told the driver. The cab was almost there; she just hoped Twilight hadn't gotten in over her head. *** The cabbie was first to break the silence. “Are you ready yet, Ms. Sparkle? Ready to play?” “Play what?” Twilight asked. “It's a fifty-fifty chance.” “You're not playing the numbers, you're playing me,” the pink pony sneered. “Did I just give you the good cupcake or the bad cupcake? Is it a bluff? Or a double bluff? Or a triple bluff?” “It's still just chance,” the unicorn repeated firmly. “Four ponies, in a row?” The cabbie grinned maliciously. “It's not chance.” “Luck,” Twilight insisted. “It's genius.” The unicorn rolled her eyes as the earth pony kept talking. “I know how ponies think. I know how ponies think I think. I can see it all like a map inside my head. Everypony's so stupid, even you.” The jab at her intelligence riled Twilight. She glared at the cabbie. “Or maybe Celestia just loves me,” the other pony mused. Twilight leaned forward, still glaring. “Either way, you're wasted as a cabbie.” *** The cab let her off in front of a college. Applejack glanced around. The cab she'd seen at Baker Street was parked equidistant from the entrances. She pocketed the netbook, then frowned. Which one? She ran towards one entrancee, hoping she'd guessed right. *** “So...you risked your life four times just to kill strangers,” Twilight said. She gazed at the cabbie curiously. “Why? “Time to play,” the cabbie told her. “Oh, I am playing,” Twilight said, smiling. “This is my turn.” Her eyes narrowed as she recalled her observations. “There's shampoo behind your left ear. Nopony's pointed it out to you. Traces of where it's happened before, so obviously you live on your own, there's no pony to tell you. But there's a photograph of children. The children's father's been cut out of the picture. If he died he'd still be there. Photograph's old, but the frame's new. You think of your children, you don't get to see them. Estranged mother. He took the kids. But you still love them and it still hurts.” The cabbies expression had sunk from its previous gloating to one of sorrow. Twilight continued. “Ah, but there's more. Your clothes, recently laundered, but everything you're wearing is at least…three years old? Keeping up appearances, but not planning ahead. And here you are on a kamikaze murder spree, what's that about?” She grinned. The cabbie tried to blank her expression, but Twilight still grinned as she realized. “Ah. Three years ago, is that when they told you?” “Told me what?” The cheery tone in the pink pony's voice wavered; she was shaken now. “That you're a dead mare walking.” “So are you,” the cabbie shot back. Twilight ignored the snide remark. “You don't have long, though. Am I right?” The cabbie hesitated, then smirked sadly. “Aneurysm. Right here.” She tapped her head. “Any breath could be my last.” “And because you're dying, you've just murdered four ponies…” “I've outlived four ponies,” the earth pony said. Her grin returned. “That's the most fun you can have with an aneurysm.” Twilight frowned. “No...no, there's something else…you didn't just kill four ponies because you're bitter. Bitterness is a paralytic. Love is a much more vicious motivator. Somehow, this is about your children. “Oh…” The cabbie nodded in confirmation. “You are good, aren't you?” “But how?” “When I die, they won't get much, my kids,” the pony said. “Not a lot of money in driving cabs.” “Or serial killing,” Twilight added. The cabbie laughed. “You'd be surprised.” Twilight pressed her hooves together. “Surprise me.” “I have a sponsor.” The unicorn wasn't sure she'd heard that correctly. “You have a what?” “For every life I take, money goes to my kids,” the cabbie explained. “The more I kill, the better off they'll be. You see? It's nicer than you think.” “Who'd sponsor a serial killer?” Twilight asked. “Who'd be a fan of Twilight Sparkle?” the cabbie returned. “You're not the only one to enjoy a good murder. There's others out there, just like you, expect you're just a mare. And they're so much more than that.” “What do you mean, more, than a mare?” Twilight pressed. “An organization, what?” The cabbie swallowed nervously. “There's a name nopony says. And I'm not gonna say it either. Now, enough chit chat.” She looked pointedly at the cupcakes. “Time to choose.” *** Applejack raced through the long hallway, rattling at locked doors and swinging open any that weren't. “Twilight?” she called. “Twilight!” She peered out the windows, but saw nothing. She had to be somewhere inside; the killer seemed to prefer buildings. She continued down the hall, still calling. *** “What if I don't choose either?” Twilight asked. “I could just walk out of here.” The cabbie sighed, then pulled out the gun. “You can take a fifty-fifty chance, or I can shoot you in the head. Funny enough, no pony's ever gone for that option.” “I'll have the gun, please,” Twilight said. The cabbie blinked, surprised. “Are you sure?” “Definitely. The gun.” “You don't wanna phone a friend?” Twilight smirked. “The gun.” The pink pony scowled, then pulled the trigger. There was a click and a flag with the word 'BANG' written on it unfurled. Twilight's grin widened. “I know a real gun when I see one.” “None of the others did,” the cabbie said. “Clearly.” The unicorn paused to think. “Well, this has been very interesting. I look forward to the court case.” She stood and walked to the door. The pink pony set down the 'gun', then called after Twilight. “Just before you go, did you figure it out?” The unicorn stopped, hoof on the door handle. “Which one's the good cupcake?” the cabbie added. “Of course,” Twilight said. “Child's play.” The cabbie gestured at the baked bads “Well, which one, then?” Twilight opened the door an inch, then stopped as the earth pony continued, “which one would you have picked, just so I know whether I could've beaten you?” Twilight closed the door. “Come on,” the pink pony pressured her. “Play the game.” Twilight trotted back around the table. The cupcake closest to the cabbie glowed as she took it. “Oh!” the earth pony remarked. “Interesting.” She picked up the remaining edible. *** Applejack had checked half of the building, but she still hadn't found the unicorn. She was running back down the same hall now, checking the opposite side. Room after room came up empty. Where was Twilight? Was she alright? Was she dead? *** The cabbie unwrapped her cupcake as Twilight brought hers to her hoof. The unicorn examined it from every angle as the pink pony spoke again. “So whaddya think? Shall we?” She grinned in anticipation. “Really, whaddya think? Can you beat me? Are you clever enough, to bet your life?” *** Applejack burst into the room and saw Twilight. She was standing with her back to her, a cupcake in one hoof. Another pony, a pink mare wearing a sweater, stood opposite her, holding another, facing the window. The window...they were in the other building! Applejack glanced around frantically for some kind of way across, but there was none. She turned back to the window. “TWILIGHT!” she yelled. Neither the victim nor the killer noticed. ***