EpEX

BLACK WHITE AND RED

*A Crime at large. In depths of Forest Everfree, sakura leaves blow in wake of uncanny mischief.*
What challenge will he face, when he goes to meet Her?

As of recent, a large number of books have disappeared from circulation. Even more distressing, there have been numerous reports of book theft from private residences, often in broad daylight. Thievery of this bold callousness is unacceptable, and above all else, unforgivable!

Eyewitnesses have seen the culprit make haste into the Everfree Forest, however they have proven too quick for pursuit by local authorities. You are to track and find their lair, retrieve all stolen books, and ensure this most heinous thief receives the fullest extent of My Justice.

Midday sun filters through the leaves hanging overhead. Such a serene day in the heart of one of Equestria’s most forsaken biomes: the Everfree Forest. Rife with wild animals straight from the wildest imagination and the most primordial of fears. It’s no issue with me, but it’s certainly not the place for a secure hideout. Then again, the savage mystique may be all the security one would need.

Been about an hour since I first stepped into these treacherous woods, and frankly it’s been an idyllic forest stroll. Some rumbles in the past has made the local wildlife wise to picking a fight with me (even some of the flora withdraw in my passing), meaning no one to bother me. The good vibes are dampened, however, by the constant reminder in my head that this is still a job, and I’m no closer to finding out where the hell my target is.

Not entirely true. The past several dozen yards I managed to pick up a faint scent, a vague fragrance akin to tea and, most importantly, faded ink. There’s also magic in the air, thicker than usual. Certainly narrows down what sort of perp’s behind all this. Whatever they are, Twilight wants them dead. Bad. Can’t recall her being this pissed off since becoming a princess. For once, the criminal is fortunate having only me to deal with.

Eventually, through the quiet clamor of nature, I hear humming. Fairly close, and fairly off-tune. I pick up the pace, forcing my way through whatever undergrowth is in my way. Strange: despite being this far in, the trees are actually looking… normal?

Past two closely-packed trees, I step into a clearing and there I find books. Lots of books, stacked high and wide like a wall for a large-scale book fort. Perhaps one of those solidly-built book military checkpoints, or at least a standard book barracks. Prancing before the literary wall is a pony with a book held in her mouth, the source of the humming.

It’s a short mare, with white fur and a full golden mane. She’s… interestingly dressed. Wearing black clothes and some whitish apron, and atop her head is a pointy black hat, like a witch’s. In fact, that’s the best way to describe her outfit: a witch’s. Like she’s set for Nightmare Night (about five months in advance). Most peculiar… and suspicious as all hell.

The mare trots over to one end of the lengthy book stack and sets her article atop a medium-sized (her height) pile. She steps back to observe the layout, nods heartily, turns around, and hops to a stop at seeing me.

I just look at her, eyeing back in the direction I came. Remembering I have sunglasses on, I simply say, “...From the woods.”

“Well, obviously. Sheesh, you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that. That’s a good way to get blasted.” She tilts her head and raises a hoof to her chin in examining me. “You’re pretty weird-looking, if I may say.” (You’re one to talk) “All purple-skinned and wearing a suit out in the middle of the forest. Also, that snout and that green thing on your head makes you look like a dragon. Definitely not human, though I’ve never seen a yokai like you. What are you exactly?”

Yo… kai? Hu-man? Whatever; can’t get bogged down by crazy talk. I mentally shrug into focus and give my answer.

“Hmmm… can’t say I have. You do look sorta dragon-ish, but dragons don’t walk on two legs. And they’re certainly not as short.”

“I’m also Her Majesty’s Vanguard, sent here to retrieve some recently stolen articles.”

She tilts her head in that feign oblivious way those cocky types like to do. “Oh? And what would those be?”

I unsheathe my sword and point the tip straight at the offending pile, which her head follows promptly. That oughta wipe the smirk out of her. Yet, she looks back at me with that same obnoxious look.

“Oh, here and there, you know.” (I honestly can’t say I do) “It’s amazing the kind of things you find just lying around on the ground. A terrible waste I say.”

“So you found several dozen well-kept books just lying around ‘here and there’?”

“Yeah! Isn’t it the craziest thing? And a devout supporter of literature like myself couldn’t bear to leave them exposed to nature, so being the good Samaritan I am, I’m taking it upon myself to round up these poor ‘articles’ and take them to my home, safe and sound and protected from the elements.”

Right, this game’s gone on enough. “I know for a fact you didn’t just stumble across these books, as do you, ma’am. And I, as well as you, know there’s been a string of book thefts going on around here, and that whoever’s responsible has been running into this very forest. Doesn’t sound like good Samaritan behavior to me.”

To this, she kicks at the ground with a forehoof and lets out a light huff. “Shucks, guess they finally came around to catching me. Took you a while, though. I mean sure, they’re dumb animals, but I’d have expected them to come looking after the first dozen stolen. Back home, I can’t even swipe a simple storybook without Patchy bearing down on me like a guillotine. Either her or Sakuya.”

“Then you are aware of the gravity of this crime?” I ask to get back my bearings in the realm of sanity.

“Yes, and it’s just about as bad as with them. Though from what I heard, you actually get the death penalty in this place for it. Talk about overkill.”

That tone, that attitude, the way she shakes her hair around while she talks really pisses me off. Seems this will be one of the few times where I find Twilight’s kill order completely justifiable. I twirl my blade and ready for the job at hand.

“Then you know what’s going to happen next. I’d let you have some final words, but you’ve already said enough.”

Not the least bit fazed. In fact, her smile seems to have gotten cheekier. “No, that’s fine. I’m never one for drawn-out talk anyway. Not when only a few words WILL DO!”

A flash and an explosion happen right when she finishes her shout, and getting up off the ground I see the tree behind me has most of its trunk blown away. I look back to the crazy mare and see her with her legs braced, eyes gleaming and a holding a way-too enthusiastic smile. Figured there’d be a horn under that gosche hat.

I leap at her with sword raised, but she’s hopped three feet to the side by the time my swipe is down. She leaps back further, a star-shaped (whuh?) orb of energy materializing and shooting out from the vicinity of her hat. I jump back just as a chunk of the ground below erupts, and upon landing I spot the mare shooting off two more of those projectiles. I sidestep them and rush at her, swinging my sword before she gets another chance to fire anything else off. She ducks low from the first swing, then flattens and rolls off to the side to avoid the rest. Very spry filly, this one.

“Speed is my specialty,” she replies, still holding that obnoxious smile as she backs away. “Can’t get hurt if no one can touch ya!”

She leaps back yet again as I try to silence her (gotta get her down somehow). She springs high up with all four legs right after landing, and spreads them out in midair to unleash a swirling barrage of those star shots. They don’t make as much a bang as the last ones, but they tear up dirt and leaves and almost my toe all the same. One of them collides with my raised sword, which causes me to stumble while getting a helping of smoke to the face. Sizzling aftertaste, with a hint of… rosemary? Weird.

“Awfully plentiful with the explosives as well,” I say as I wave away the flavorful smokescreen. She just laughs.

“Can’t be too conservative with magic. That’s my policy: shoot first, get a proper explanation later.” She flicks out a hoof and sends a stream of those star things at me. They don’t always come from her head, I notice. They seem to generate mainly whenever she waves her legs around. No telltale magic aura around them, either. Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen magic quite like this before.

These thoughts come while impending explody devastation heads my way, and they’re blown aside as I zip forward and weave through the star stream. As I get closer, the mare rears back and two circular runes appear, both of them yellow and with a pentagram pattern within. They float up, taking places over both the mare’s shoulders, then with a sharp whine they shoot off two concentrated beams of light.

Quickly I spin to avoid losing my arms (and worse, damaging the suit), but upon reorienting, the crazy mare’s got two more of those runes out, only firing from ground level. A hop saves my feet, and using the extra air I lunge at my quarry, but again she gets away, this time by jumping over my head. She lands deftly atop the book pile, and immediately bounds up into the overhanging canopy. She drops lightly upon a branch, her dress unruffled (how is she doing all this? I don’t even see a bead of sweat on her!).

“Hey, that’s pretty good: dodging my attacks without using any magic! You’re really something for a lizard yokai, heehee.”

“Well, try slithering out of this!” She points a hoof downward and two star runes descend. They speed down to either side of me and plant themselves beneath the ground by my feet, and after a second, faint trails of light appear. I dive forward before two lasers sprout from below, but more of those runes are planting themselves as I’m getting back up.

Barely on my feet I sprint forward, outrunning the pillars of energy shooting up after me like killer spotlights. Leaves and broken branches are falling all around, getting onto my suit and into my shades as I keep running. I manage to wipe one stuck in the lenses and refocus on my target: the tree holding the resisting perp. I spring up off a foot, then with the other I bounce off the trunk and spin around to cut out the branch from under the mare’s magic-spewing hooves.

I land in a crouch and momentarily let the world settle down, and hearing no more of those pillars I stand back up to find my prone opponent on the ground. Only I don’t see my opponent, prone or otherwise. I whip around, but she’s nowhere to be seen. As I’m about to curse, a snicker brings my gaze up to a needlessly peculiar sight: the mare sitting side-saddle on a freakin’ broom, that’s hovering twelve feet above the ground. Can’t believe I’m admitting this, but yeah: definitely a witch.

“Quick thinking there, champ. But are you quicker than this?” With that, she maneuvers herself around so she’s lying along the top of the broom, then instantly both her and the broom blast off into the deep forest. I lose composure at the bullshit I just witnessed, and with a grimace I go after her, only to be blown back by the witch pony’s sudden return and re-exit.

I get back up, a bit wobbly, and barely have time to look in the direction of her flight when she comes back again. I hold my ground this time, and do so again when she comes back around for another pass. However, those star things from earlier are now drifting down in the wake of her passing, so I find myself dodging around them while looking out for that crazy mare.

For half a minute this goes on: her flying by, dropping off her little sparkly bombshells, and me with my pants down (if I actually wore them) trying to deal with this. Quickly rethink things and hold my ground amid the falling stars. Look into the shadows of the surrounding woods. A glint. I hold back my sword and slightly bend my knees, and one breath later I spring and swing up my arm. A tidy splintering of wood, promptly followed by an untidy spill, and finally I have my foe’s dress and hat ruffled.

“Damn, that was my favorite broom!” She glares daggers at me before reaching into a pocket of her apron and tossing several over-sized marbles of assorted colors at me. My pause over this latest “WTF” leads to them actually hitting me: in the chest, against my shades, and one nearly gets lodged in my nostril. I wipe my face of the blows, and looking ahead I see the little witch standing on her hind legs as she reaches into her apron and whips out some kind of card, which she holds high over her pointy-hatted head.

Yo-zora ni oyugu, naga re boshi,
Ichido kiri no, kaga yaki de.
Umaku deki tara, dakiii shimete,
Anata demo ii ka-raaa,
Watashi wo koro shi-te

After that random-ass attack, the jumpy mare drops from the canopy back onto her hindlegs, except with her forelimbs held straight out and holding some octagonal doodad adorned with some fancy etchings on it. I notice a sudden heaviness in the air, as well as the mare’s clothes and mane fluttering a bit. Uh oh.

A column of rainbow-colored magic erupts from the doodad, silencing and blinding everything in one massive searing roar. Several seconds later, the death beam ceases and the world stops shaking. The mare looks in the direction of her handiwork, marveling at the half-mile of scorched, smoking, leveled terrain, and the occasional limping (or crawling) animal. She glances down at her device with amazement.

“Wow, that’s way more kick than normal. This place must be giving it a boost or something.”

I take that moment to drop from my leafy perch and deliver a downward slice through the doodad, shattering it in half. The surprise makes the mare reel and fall onto her back, and not wasting this chance I step over to her and raise my sword high. Time to finally end—

We both look to the side, and stepping through some bushes it’s another weirdo mare. Earth pony, coat of absolute red, with a flowing black mane tied up with some fancy hairbands and a large decorative red white-lined bow. She’s wearing some frilly white lace collar, and on her forelegs are two large sleeves that stop three quarters of the way up, leaving her shoulders exposed. There’s a stick with some paper attached beneath her right hoof, and from my angle I see that her Cutie Mark is one of those eastern black-and-white balls, except it’s red-and-white. And her face… eyow, a glare that sharp could cut through boulders. I can see anyone could get nervous over that.

“Maybe if a good portion of it wasn’t blown away I could be,” was the stern answer. “We’re walking in unknown territory. There’s no telling how things here would react to your magic.”

“They seem to be reacting all the same, honestly.” Gotta hand it to the poor girl: still trying to keep things light despite the death stare she’s getting.

“And what did I tell you about thievery? You can’t possibly tell me you found all these books just lying around to pick up.”

“Well, you did say we should do research on this place, and whaddya know: there’s research already printed and bound and ready for use. I’m just doing my part, you know.”

“If you’re doing research, then you could’ve gone to the locals and asked them, politely. You’re already going into their houses, so maybe if you talked to them they would invite you in for tea. Have you considered that?”

“Oh… I guess I could’ve done that. But it’s so weird: everyone here is a horse!”

“Well you are one as well, so enough stealing and blowing things up. Unbelievable. And as for You!”

I step away from the fallen mare and lower my arms in a snap. Ye gods, I did that solely on instinct! Only Twilight’s ever been able to scold me into compliance like that. Just what kind of pony is this who holds such fearsome sway?

“Waving around a sword like that, just how irresponsible can you be? I’ve seen enough swordsman yokai to know there’s always trouble involved unless it’s handled immediately.”

“I’m, I’m not yokai,” I mutter out of nerves. Dammit, Spike, you’re an adult, and a professional! Suck it up and act like it!

“Well you’re not normal, that much I can tell. I saw the way you moved around with that wild intent. Someone could’ve been killed by such recklessness.”

“I was only carrying out my duty.” Good, voice and stance is under control again. No problem.

“A rather sloppy job of it. Have you considered arresting her instead? Perhaps if you hadn’t provoked her, then there wouldn’t have been so much needless destruction to wildlife.”

“Oooookay, I’ll just let you two have it out.” The mare on the ground tactfully rolls off to the side and let’s us “have it out”, as the red mare continues.

“I mean, she has stolen a lot of books, but this is a major overreaction. Trying to execute someone over a matter of books is absurd. If they had been forbidden magical tomes, perhaps, but these look like regular books to me.”

“Book theft of any kind is a heinous crime as dictated by Her Majesty,” I say in a level, firm tone. “And mass theft such as this is punishable by death. No exception, no quarter.”

“Hmph, how silly.” She gives an exasperated shrug. “That kind of law makes no sense. I may need to have a talk with your boss and have this straightened out.” Ah hell no.

“That’s not going to happen.” I twirl my sword and assume the usual battle stance. No further doubts this time.

“Ah, of course. The typical right arm of the devil that has to be faced before taking on the one in charge. Always the case with just about every incident.” She straightens up and assumes a steadier stance. “If you’re going to get in my way and continue causing trouble, then I have no choice but to teach you a lesson and restore peace.”

“Eh, heheh. I’d like to, but that guy broke my Hakkero, and I’ll need some time to rethink my strategy and get some rest. You know, heheh.”

Neither of us are too convinced. But the red mare sighs and shrugs before continuing.

“Very well. Then I’ll make do with the power bestowed upon me by the Hakurei bloodline, as well as the power of the battle theme rock arrange.”

♪Dichromatic Lotus Butterfly ~ Red and White (AoCF Ver.)

Instantly the mare vanishes, but half a second later pops right in front of me and delivers a spinning upward kick. I take it below the chin and trip back on my heels, hitting the ground hard. Scrambling back up onto my feet, a stream of thoughts run through my head: Did she just teleport? Impossible; she’s not even a unicorn! Freakishly fast in that case then.

I charge at her and retaliate. She leaps back from the swipe, but immediately hops back in to try and bap me with that stick of hers. My blade deflects and pushes it aside, and I deliver my own counter strike. That stick comes up to intercept and… holds it in place? The hell!? My momentary surprise allows her to push away my sword, but I quickly bring down a flurry of swings. She pulls out a flurry of her own, meeting each of my strikes with that freakish stick of hers. What is that thing made of, unobtanium? Also, how is she able to hold and move it around so well without fingers? There are only a few ponies I know who can pull that off (and by that, I mean just Pinkie Pie).

The mare manages to slip past my sword and bring down a slew of slaps and blows to my face and chest. I’m more surprised and flustered than hurt when I manage to get away, but I recover fast and leap at her with a downward spinning slash. She vanishes yet again, only to reappear in midair in the middle of a speeding dive kick. I’m ready this time and bring up my sword, catching her hoof with the blunt of my steel and letting her push off into a several-yards leap.

Okay, that was definitely teleportation, and the force put into those stick swings makes her a definite earth pony. But how can this be? I don’t remember there being any book or spell or record of earth ponies doing unicorn-only magic. Disturbing thoughts like that are gonna make this fight hell unless I end it fast, or accept said thoughts quick.

“Troublesome, just like I said,” the fussy mare says, breaking me out of my mental and spiritual quandary. “Dangerous types like you have to be eradicated without question, for everyone’s sake!” She raises up a hoof, revealing several thin and really sharp needles. A flick of the hoof and a line of metal pointiness comes at me. I duck and let them pass into some unlucky tree (or unluckier animal), but I catch the mare firing a whole stream of the needles at me (is her hoof hollow or something?)!

I sidestep the first few, then step forward as she redirects her needle stream. I bring up my sword and whirl it around, catching every needle and dropping them like so many pins. The mare stops after catching on, and brings up another hoofful of the damn things. I make ready, but unexpectedly she flings the needles over her shoulder, which then promptly disappear. Before I can act, pinpricks erupt from my back and I stumble forward, my breath getting caught in surprise.

“Woo! You trip him up!” cheers the witch mare on the sidelines as I reach behind me and yank out the five or so needles that were sticking out. Sharp enough to get deep past my scales, yikes. As I let them drop, the needle-happy acrobat holds up another salvo.

“With enough of these sealing needles, this fight is as good as done,” she announces. Heh, not if I end it first. Not giving her the chance to pull more tricks, I whip around the blade over my empty palm and get the heat going.

An upward spin of my sword and a wave of green fire screams at the long-sleeved damsel. She forgets her bravado, opting instead to ditch the needles and leap to the side to avoid fiery death. With her distracted, I run right at her, sword primed. She manages to catch me, but it’s too late. With the distance closing, all she has time to do is reach into one of her sleeves, pull out a slip of paper and slam it into the ground… leading me to inexplicably run into something hot and very solid.

Again I find myself on my rump, only now rubbing at the mild burn on my snout. I look up to see a glimmering golden wall inlaid with some weird runes, which quickly vanishes, revealing a very untouched mare.

“Flame magic I see, but nothing can outmatch my Hakurei Barrier.” To this, she raises up a hoof full of more paper slips (goddammit). “Let the purification commence!”

She tosses the paper slips up, which float in place for a second before zipping around into a square formation, developing red auras while spinning in place before all at once shooting at a singular focal point (being me!). I backflip and leap off an extended palm as the paper trail leaves a scorch mark in the ground, and of course I’m barely on my feet when the mare sends more mystical slips my way. This batch is coming at different angles, so plenty of bobbing, weaving and aerial flips up in this piece to keep my scales intact (still manage to singe parts of my suit. The bitch!).

Once through the volley, I take two steps before she throws up two orange slips that triple in size and come roaring at me like papery buzzsaws dipped in magic orange sorbet (been a while since breakfast). I halt right there and sidle by, letting those death squares pass by my front and clip the buttons off my suit (double bitch!). I get back into running at her, but stop again at the very sight of her floating ten feet in the air. Her forelimbs are held out and there’s a floaty breeze ruffling up her mane and outlandish sleeves, though there’s no breeze (showoff).

I make to run up under her, but three paper slips fly out and shoot down at me. They get deflected by my sword, but the fantastical flying mare vanishes, just to pop up a ways behind me to fire off more of those slips. It’s some deranged reverse whack-a-hole, with the me the player getting assaulted from multiple places as she keeps popping in and out to hit me with deadly stationary.

Eventually she comes to a stop a few yards in front of me, but then the air grows heavy and there’s that hair-waviness that signals oncoming pain.

Everything becomes a papery storm as streams of the slips burst out from seemingly nowhere and come right at me. Flat on the ground I go as the rustling death-dealers swoop and spiral all around me. It’s a tight fit, practically a whirling death cage of fancy ink drawings and… are those needles stuck in the middle? Holy crap they are! As though smothering me to death wasn’t enough, she’ll at least see that I get my proper iron intake (the hell, Spike? Jokes now?).

The occasional leaf falls through the paper trails, unscathed. That’s when I realize that all this time fighting her, there hasn’t been much in the way of wanton destruction. Has to take some incredible control and discipline to focus all these attacks on a single point while causing little collateral damage. Maybe some kind of deep meditation technique, like zebra magic? That’s more for potions though. Maybe there are other lands, other practices that Her Majesty in all her boundless knowledge has let slip. Perhaps there are powers that even she—Oh what the hell have I been thinking? I’ve been fighting against paper this whole time!

I take in a very deep breath, and blast out a heavy wave of flame before me. Instantaneously the paper cage erupts and crisps away into a wide sheet of ash, and just like that I’m free and the target is left exposed. Criminy, when this is over I’ll spare some time to kick myself mentally (and perhaps physically as well).

“Whoa, did you see that?” the sideline mare cries out. “He breathed fire, just like a dragon!”

“Heh, no you’re not. You’re more like a salamander, and what kind of dragon wears a suit and sunglasses anyway?”

“Are you just going to keep making commentary, Mareisa, or have you come up with a strategy to help me out here?” the red mare nags, to which the blonde one only grinned.

The red one makes an annoyed growl while landing softly on the ground, before casting a piercing glare straight at me (oh gods, my heart!). “If that’s how it is, then I’ll simply finish this now.”

She reared up on her hindlegs, holding both forelegs before her with that stick of hers held in front. That heaviness comes back, only now there’s a distinct rumbling to it. Oh crap, there are even bits of dirt rising up; never a good sign. Just as I start running to interrupt her—

She braces her forelimbs to either side of her, issuing a concussive wave that pushes me back slightly. From behind her, a thick red ball of energy pops out, bobs around a bit, then shoots off right for me. I raise my left foot in time to let the ground develop a yard-wide crater, and I see, you guessed it, another ball has popped out. But this time it’s blue! (Freakin’ yay for me)

It launches and blasts out a crater right in front of me, and I turn and hoof it just as a third ball blasts the spot I was just on. I look back to see an orange ball pop out, followed shortly by a green one. I begin strafing to get around, but they list to the side and home in on me. I quicken my pace as they quicken theirs, forcing me into a sidelong leap to avoid two successive blasts. The force of the blasts provide an extra (unnecessary) boost to my leap, leading me to skid along the ground on my side.

No time to worry about the dirt stains, cuz another three colorful balls have appeared, with a fourth coming out as the mystic mare floats about in that cross pose of hers. I push myself off and break into a side sprint to try to out-strafe the orbs, but it’s the same result as before, except more of them and they’re coming at me faster! With dirt and explosions going up all around, I notice that they’re coming in twos and threes rather than one at a time. Ducking, sidestepping, rolling and spinning is all that keeps me from getting blasted by those pesky balls. It’s little time before the only sound filling the air is magic blowing things up.

After one evasive spin, I decide to take a chance and raise my sword. Can’t be that hard to deflect, right? Well, about as hard as a locomotive dropped from orbit, cuz that’s exactly what I feel when my blade takes the full blunt of one fast-going orb. There’s a flash and burning in the air as I’m tossed back and lose the grip on my sword. Onto my back I go bouncing, feeling my shades slip down half across my face. I adjust them the moment I come to a stop, and quickly notice the lack of explosions. Raising myself on my elbows, I see the reason: about a dozen of those multicolored balls have begun circling behind the floating mare like some kaleidoscopic halo.

She lets them swirl around long enough to allow me to grasp the sheer boned-ness of my position, then with a flash of her eyes, they all loose at once. They shoot off away from each other, then redirect and come right at me. A wall of colorful fatality heading my way, and little more for me to do but just lie there, or crawl back, or maybe breath fire at them (worked last time). This conflict of choice allows them to get within three feet of me, at which point some black oblong hole appears before me midair and sucks all of them in without fuss.

As quickly as it appeared it vanished, leaving me completely safe. Before any of us can say anything about whatever the hell that was,

All of us look around, then immediately look up at the source of the lofty voice. Descending ever slowly is another oblong hole shadow thing, horizontal, and with… well at this point it’s not too surprising. It’s another damn pony in another damn weird outfit sticking halfway out of top of the hole. This one is also white with a thick blonde mane, but her dress is purple to the point of violet, and wearing some dumb white silk shower cap thing, I dunno. On the forehooves hanging off the side of the hole are a pair of white silk gloves (or what goes for gloves when it comes to stumps. Coverings?). However, she looks pretty large and a bit more… streamlined, than regular ponies. Like those high-class supermodel unicorn types.

She brings up a gloved hoof close to her muzzle before saying, “Having some fun at least?”

The red mare comes back to the ground (with stick in hoof, dunno how) and gives an annoyed look at the newcomer. “Come to meddle at the most inopportune time. Again.”

“You should speak for yourself,” the large mare retorts softly. “By my understanding, this was supposed to be a quiet research excursion.”

“It was, until I learned of the corrupt nature of this place’s ruling government.”

“Oh really, Neighmu, since when has it been your business to dabble in politics?”

“Since whenever bullies need to be taught a lesson,” the red one firmly states. “There’s severe punishment for the most trivial things here, and it’s accepted without question. That’s utterly despicable!”

The one on high tut-tuts. “Your good nature is nothing to be scoffed at, but it’s not our place to criticize or change another’s culture by force. That sort of thing has led to trouble many times before in the past.”

“It’s still not right. At the very least I should tell their ‘great’ ruler that this sort of thing is morally unacceptable.”

“In due time they will come to realize. Call it the invisible threads of fate, if you will.”

“Hmph. Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t at least make an effort to take hold of things with their own hands.”

“Hmhm, you never know. But I believe we should be returning now. Our presence has caused enough of a stir, and I know someone has been having a bit too much enjoyment from all of this.” She casts a playful glance at the witch pony, who immediately gets up on from her seat.

“H-hey! It’s like I said: just helping out with the research.” She trots nonchalantly over to the red mare and takes up the spot to her left. “I’ll have you know, despite being given every opportunity, I resisted tucking any books into my apron.”

“How very commendable of you.” The large mare laughs lightly. The red one only grumbles.

“Let’s just get back home. At least there will be tea waiting, not to mention being able to say our actual names.”

In two successive “fhwoomphs” the ground mares are engulfed by two additional shadow holes, which vanish in the same split second they appeared. The one above, presumably the head honcho, looks down at me, as though kindly acknowledging my me being ignored for the past five minutes.

“My apologies for the hassle; they do mean well, in their own headstrong way. I’ll leave you to your work without further ado. Oh, and be sure to give Celestia my regards next time you see her. Fufufu.” She pulls in her hooves and drops into her portable hole, which then shrinks and vanishes with a “whoosh”.

So here I am, alone, still on my back, with no inkling of an explanation for whatever the hell just happened. But I’m alive, no major injuries. And all the books are still around, safe and untouched. Mission well done, then? The thought doesn’t get rid of that nagging “hollow victory” feel, though.

STAGE ALL CLEAR!!!

NAME ENTRY

1. SJW

2. AAA

3. SPK_

4. POO

5. ASS

Death by Dragon

by Compendium of Steve

EpEX: Black White and Red