//------------------------------// // If you read the Game of Twits in the last chapter, then you saw this coming // Story: Wake up. See this. What do? - Part 2: Raise the Flag (comment driven story) // by RazortheAwesome //------------------------------// Alright Twilight lets go try to find Jason, someone in town must have seen him in the past few days right... right? Find Jason. Hopefully Spike knows where he is. If not, ask around, check the hospital. Well Twilight, firstly you must get something to eat. If you don't eat, then you're body and mind will start failing you even more. If you see any crazy shenanigans, then of course you are just hungry and absolutely not going insane right? But anyway, get to the hospital is your main concern. Yes, yes, yes, those thoughts are all on your mind right now, and yes, that is exactly what you are going to do right now. You are going to find Jason the human and talk to him about whats going on around here. He's somehow connected to all of this. You know it. You aren't sure how you know it, but somehow, you just know it, and it a way, that sort of makes you feel a bit worse since you're the only reason that he's here. But yes, both you and Spike leave your tree/house/library and head out back into Ponyville with Spike leading the way... Right to Jason... wherever he is. Yes........ Right to Jason.... The human you tried to ra- You know, upon reflection, you're suddenly feeling hungry, maybe you should have taken up Spike on his offer to make you a sandwich. You would have really liked that right now. Oh well.... you're out here now, and you're following Spike. You can get something to eat later. Its not as if things are about to get even more crazy than they already are, right? So, apparently you decided to faff about Ponyville for a bit, eh, Miss Sparkle. Fine by me, except oh, I don't know, YOU ARE WASTING TIME! What do? Jesus Fish, have Spike take you to the hospital where Jason is. There done. Another Brick in the Wall Part 2 by Pink Floyd Suddenly, the moment you take that first step out of the library, a little ditty that you can swear that you've never heard before suddenly goes off somewhere. "By all that is me where is that music coming from?" Ghost Sombra doesn't ask, so you don't say anything. It's fine. Its just a little tune thats playing in your head, even though it sounds like its coming from everywhere. You're not insane, you're not crazy. You're just.... hungry.... Yeah, thats it, hungry. You didn't get your sandwich and now you're feeling the obvious effects of hunger. Oh well, its not that big of a deal, its not as if- "We don't need no education," somepony randomly says to you as she walks right past you in perfect synchrony with the song. "What the hay?" Spike says upon hearing that. "What was that about, and where's that music coming from?" Yeah, he is kind of right, that is an odd thing to.... wait, what was that last thing he said? "Wait, you can hear that t-" you try to ask, but somepony cuts you off before you can finish. "We don't need no thought control," she says while looking at both you and Spike before she goes on her merry way. You don't even know this pony. Why is she saying this to you? "You can hear that too?" you ask Spike now that she's gone. "Yeah," he response, confused as all tartarus. "Wh-" "No dark sarcasm in the classroom," Another pony, that you actually recognize as Flitter, suddenly flies down out of nowhere and sings to you before Spike can finish. Spike doesn't say anything else after that. Apparently he decided not to bother finishing that sentence. Probably a good idea, since if either of you speak you're bound to be inter- "Teachers leave them kids alone." Yeah, like that. Seriously, what the hay is going on? Is it one of Pinkie's sudden mane street musicals again? This hardly seems to time for it. "Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone!" you watch of all ponies, Ms. Cheerilee shout.... sing..... shoutsing, to the sky as you and Spike walk past another street. Both you and Spike had to stop and do a double take on that one. Ms. Cheerilee, a teacher, just shouted and sang at the sky for the teacher to leave them kids alone. Who was she talking to? What was going on? Wasn't she supposed to be teaching a class right now? Better yet, if she is here, is school even open right now? Where are the students? Whe- "All in all it's just another brick in the wall." you then watch her interrupt your thoughts again and sing at a guard pony who just happened to walk by with an angry look on her face, like she was absolutely furious with this particular guard. Both you and Spike just shrug at each other and silently decide to keep on walking. As you walk down the street, you pass another guard pony, and as you to, two more random ponies, one of which appears to be Thunderlane, walk right past you and the guard pony while staring angrily at him. "All in all you're just another brick in the wall," they both sing to him. The guard pony just angrily looks back at them as he continues on his way. Neither he nor the two ponies pay each other any mind after that. Seriously, what in the name of Celestia was going on? Why was everypony singing? Why were they suddenly so angry at the guards? Yes, Derpy got killed, but it wasn't like the guards had anything to do with it, did they? They... they were guards... Celestia's royal guard... the most trusted.... ponies.... that upheld Celestia's law.... As you and Spike walk out into one of the open squares of Ponyville, you finally spot the source of the music. Right there, right in the middle of the square, is a pony with a guitar. He's just sitting right there.... playing the guitar.... Its not even plugged into anything, he's just standing there, playing it. Well, thats one mystery cleared up you supposed, but that still doesn't answer the question of where the rest of the music is coming from. Whose playing the keyboard, and what about the drums, where are they? All thats here is a pony playing the guitar. "We don't need no education," you and Spike suddenly hear the sound of what can only be a group of very young ponies sing, and both of you turn 180 degrees to see every little and filly and colt that lives here in Ponyville walking into the square, being led by Ms. Cheerilee- Wait, when and how did she get here? "We don't need no thought control." All of the fillies and colts keep singing as they walk into the square and with a level of organization that is unbelievable, even for them, they all get into rows of five. "No dark sarcasm in the classroom." Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, even Pip, they're all there, and they're all being directed by Ms. Cheerilee. You and Spike just stand there in between them and the guitar playing pony completely dumbfounded. Even Ghost Sombra appears confused.... Wait, no he doesn't cause he's not there. "Teachers leave them kids alone," they all continue to sing as they raise their hooves towards the sky. Then, suddenly, they all pause and take in a deep breath. Hey, teacher, leave us kids alone! Seriously, what is going on. They're not shouting at Cheerilee, who are they shouting at? As that happens, a group of four guards, all carrying those weird, black sticks, wander into the square, presumable because of all the music. The moment they see them, all of the little fillies and colts just stare angrily at them and point their hooves. "All in all you're just another brick in the wall." Even Cheerilee joins in. "All in all you're just another brick in the wall." The guards just return the looks of the angry children with their own angry looking scowls and continue onwards.They don't even notice you or Spike as they walk right past you and continue on their way. They don't even notice the guitar playing Pony as they keep on keeping on their way. At this, the rest of the music seems to drop as the guitar pony picks up his pace a little bit, playing a tune that really, under better circumstances, you'd enjoy. No, really, you would, you'd sit there for hours and try to interpret it, to pick it apart, to just sit there and really take in every note, but for now, now you can't cause of well.... yeah.... As the guitar pony plays, and the guards leave the square, you and Spike watch as all the little fillies and colts disperse and head off in different directions, no one pony in the same direction. Presumably they're all going back home, or at least that's where you're hoping that they're going. Cheerilee just heads back in the direction of the school. She doesn't even acknowledge you, none of them do. Its weird, its like they're all too depressed to talk to you, or too angry. Smell that air! Feel the past and present as the scent reminds of all the shenanigans of ridiculous proportions. The warmth of the sun, the wood and stones of various houses, and the absent calls of property damage that's supposed to be made by the now deceased Ditzy Doo... Now you made yourself depressed. Speaking of whom, you hear the idle conversations about her death, and how some missed her. "Remember how she once tried to put mail in a mailbox, backwards? "Yeah, she even somehow got stuck in it for some reason. The letter wasn't important at the time though." "Oh, wasn't it Turner's letter?" "That's right! In fact, she was still stuck there when he found her. He pulled her out and ended up on top of each other..." "...which would've been worth the romance if it weren't for the inconvenient puddle of mud and the unpleasant scolding of the Ditzy's boss" Carrot Top said, "Argh! Enough already!" "Whoops..." "...sorry. Now I feel like a bad pony..." At that, both you and Spike turned back around to watch the guitar pony play away. He was really good, and even Spike was getting into it. You could tell. After a few moments though, his playing, as well as the rest of the music, started to die down a little bit. As this happened, a bunch of ponies suddenly started walking into the square, some of them you knew, but some you didn't, the point is, the square was completely filled with ponies at this point. "Remember how she once tried to put mail in a mailbox, backwards?" One pony said to another as they walked right past you. "Yeah, she even somehow got stuck in it for some reason. The letter wasn't important at the time though," the pony she was talking too replied. Wait... were they talking about Derpy? "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!" Another pony randomly yelled at another one right in the middle of their conversation, but they ignored it. "Oh, wasn't it Turner's letter?" One of them continued. "That's right! In fact, she was still stuck there when he found her. He pulled her out and ended up on top of each other..." The other one continued. "WE'RE PONIES, WE DON'T EAT MEAT!!!" Another pony that you didn't see randomly shouted. "Which would've been worth the romance if it weren't for the inconvenient puddle of mud and the unpleasant scolding of the Ditzy's boss," the first group of ponies continued, their voices fading as they got away. "I DON'T CARE! YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT!!!" Somepony else shouted, who you also didn't see. Confused as all there was, you looked to Spike, as if he could give you some kind of answer, but he just shrugged, as did you. "Okay, seriously, what is going on here, now I'm confused," Ghost Sombra didn't say as he looked around at all of the ponies in the square. "STAND STILL LADDY!!!!!" Another pony randomly shouted, but again, you didn't see him... or her... whoever it was..... "YES! YOU!!!! YES YOU LADDY!!!!" At that, the square suddenly cleared out as quickly as it had filled, and you and Spike were alone. Even the guitar pony was gone. Gone with no trace he was even there. He must have cleared out when the square filled, thats the only explanation you could think of. Its not like he was here because this chapter demanded a musical. "Okay....." Spike said as he looked around at the now empty square with you. "Yeah, I'm gonna go with the dragon on this one," Ghost Sombra didn't say as he didn't look around, not looking confused as all tartarus where he belonged.... "So....." Spike tried to say, but he didn't say anything else, it was like he thought of what he wanted to say, but immediately forgot the second he opened his mouth. "Can we just get going?" you say with a sigh. "Sure," Spike replied as the both of you turned around and went back on your way, only to have your vision suddenly filled with more of Ponyville.... and pink..... a very familiar pink...... "OH MY SALSA IS THAT YOU TWILIGHT!!!!???" "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....." is all you can say to Pinkie Pie as she just VERY suddenly appeared in front of your face. No, really, she's less than two inches away from you. Even Ghost Sombra is backing away a bit cause she's too close. Seriously, where did she come from? She wan't there a min- Actually, you know what, you resend that, you aren't confused at all. It's Pinkie Pie, she does this all the time. "HOLY HOT SAUCE! OH MY GUACAMOLE! ME GUSTA POLLO CON CARNE! DIO MÍO HABLO ESPAÑOL! ¿POR QUÉ HABLO ESPAÑOL? NO IMPORTA CONJETURO PORQUE ESTOY A PUNTO CANTAR! IS THAT YOU TWILIGHT!?" Pinkie incessantly yelled at you without lowering her volume. Thankfully, she didn't accidentally spit on your face. "Um, yeah Pinkie," you hesitantly say to her, as much as you wanted to see her, you were kind hoping that you're reunion would be a bit more... quiet. "It's-" Before you can even finish that sentence, Pinkie suddenly launched herself forward and pulled you into the tightest hug you've ever been in... Seriously even by Pinkie hug standards this was tight. "CELESTIA LUNA CADENCE AND EVEN YOU IT IS YOU TWILIGHT!!!" Pinkie screamed again as she squeeze the life out of you. In the corner of your eye, you didn't notice Ghost Sombra trying his hardest to hold back an uncontrollable wave of laughter. You didn't notice it cause he wasn't doing it. "I AM JUST SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO HAPPY TO SEE YOU TWILIGHT!!!" Then, at that, she finally let you go and catch your breath. "Hey Pinkie," Spike says to her as you try to catch your breath. At this point, Ghost Sombra isn't laughing at you. "Oh, hey Spike," Pinkie replies to him. "Sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring you, but you know, Twilight's here and she-" "Its okay, I get it," Spike calmly replies to her before she can finish. "Its good to see you again Pinkie," you say to her before she can do anything else.... Thankfully she allows you enough time to say it. As you say that though, you watch Pinkie suddenly look like she's about to explode with happiness as the smile on her face just gets bigger.... and bigger..... and bigger..... "OHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYOHMY I AM JUST SO HAPPY!!!!" Pinkie Pie suddenly screeches as she hugs you again. Thankfully not as tight this time. "How long has it been since you've been gone. It feels like this whole story almost. Whoops, forget I said that, but anyway, YOU'RE BACK TWILIGHT!!!" "Yes Pinkie, yes I'm back," you say to her. "Well we gotta do something," Pinkie quickly replied before you could say anything else. "I mean, you missed two, no.... THREE no.... Wait, yes I was right the first time, TWO parties since you've been gone." "It's all right, Pinkie," you say to her. "I mean, I'm happy I'm back and all but I don't really wa-" "Don't stop me now, Twilight!" She quickly says to you before you can even finish. "OOoooooooohhhhh I'm just so happy! We totally TOTALLY, and that's a word I don't use very often, gotta do something, because Tonight....." Wait, the way she said that. Don't Stop Me Now by Queen "Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time, Pinkie.... no..... no no no no non o no no no no no no non o she isn't... As she .... no.... she reaches out of your field of vision and grabs a...... a pool cue? "I feel aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive, and the woooooooooooooooorld it's turning inside out, Yeah!" As she... no,.... no she isn't.... not now.... she sticks the pool cue in the ground and dances around it. As she does this, a bunch of happy ponies start..... walking....... into........... the square....... again..... "I'm floating around in ecstasy," as she....... no...... no..... she somehow spins herself around the pool cue and moves up to the top of it with a complete disregard for gravity. Somehow, the pool cue is able to stay completely still and support her like it were actually stuck in the ground.... and actually able to support her weight. "So-" "Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies suddenly..... no..... no they don't as they start to move in and form a circle around you and Pinkie Pie. "Don't stop me-" OH WHO ARE YOU KIDDING THEY TOTALLY ARE! "'Cause I'm having a good time!" Pinkie SINGS as she suddenly appears right in front of your face again, almost as if she teleported. "Having a good time!" The rest of the ponies chime in with her. Then, suddenly, at that, you weren't even sure how this happened, it was like a glitch in time, or space... or both considering it was Pinkie Pie, she was suddenly back in the middle of the circle, wearing a yellow jacket for some reason, and holding the pool cue to her mouth like a microphone as she started dancing.... rather provocatively... with it. All around you, LITERALLY EVERYPONY THAT WAS THERE! AND IT WAS EVERYPONY! Suddenly had pool cues of their own and were dancing along with Pinkie Pie. "I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies, Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity, I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva, I'm gonna go go go, There's no stopping meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........................." As Pinkie sang, all of the ponies around both you and her........ were following her movements...... SERIOUSLY WHY DID THEY HAVE POOL CUES!!!! AND WHY IS GHOST SOMBRA NOT LAUGHING AT THIS!!!! NO HE ISN'T!!!! CAUSE HE IS NOT THERE!!!!!!!............. "I'm burning through the sky yeah! Two hundred degrees, That's why they call me Missus Fahrenheit, I'm trav'ling at the speed of light, I wanna make a supersonic mare out of you!!!!" As both Pinkie and the rest of the ponies sang that last verse, Pinkie suddenly jumped off of her pool cue (which she was somehow dancing on top of..... you stopped asking questions at this point), and landed right in front of your face again. This time she DID accidentally spit in your face. She did that.... only to immediately move back to the middle of the circle. "Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang as they all danced with their pool cues. "I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball......" Pinkie sang again... "Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang. "If you wanna have a good time, Just give me a call!!!!!!!" Pinkie sang as she moved a hoof to her ear like a..... telephone.... WAIT! HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT A TELEPHONE IS!? "Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang along to the apparent chorus, which they of course all knew. "'Cause I'm having a good time," Pinkie sang as she swung her pool cue back and forth to the apparent rhythm of her dance. "Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang. "Yes I'm having a good time, I don't want to stop at allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll... yeah!" -Sweet Apple Acres Orchard- Push It To The Limit by Paul Engemann "Open up the limit," Braeburn Apple sang as Applejack threw a series of jabs, punches, and kicks at him, all of which he nimbly dodged like the trained ninja that he was. The look on Applejack's face was one of pure determination. "Past the point of no return, You've reached the top but still you gotta learn, How to keep it!!!!!!!!!!" As he sang that last verse, Braeburn ducked to dodge one more of Applejack's kicks, got low, and then quickly spun around and bucked her right in the chest with both of his rear hooves just like she had done to countless apple trees. The blow knocked Applejack back several feet and onto her back, knocking the wind out of her as well. "Hit the wheel and double the stakes," Little Strongheart suddenly chimed in as she walked over and looked down at Applejack. As she looked down into Applejack's eyes, the look of determination grew and grew until it reached its boiling point. "Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell, and you crash the gates...." "Crash the gates!" Both she and Braeburn sang as Applejack, with a kind of strength that seemed to defy her, jumped back up onto her hooves and ran back at Braeburn. The moment she reached him she threw another punch at him, only for Braeburn to dodge it, move around to her side, and trip her right under her hooves, causing Applejack to fall to the ground again and roll a few times, her precious hat falling off of her head as she did. Eventually, she stopped and looked forward. "Going for the back of beyond," Granny Smith sang as she walked out from between two of the trees right towards her, the look on her face, was a look of confidence unlike any Applejack had ever seen. "Nothing gonna stop you, there's nothing that strong, So close now you're nearly at the brink, so, push it!!!!!!" "Ooo yeah!!!!" Both Applejack and Granny sang as Applejack grabbed her hat and leapt back onto her hooves. -Rainbow Dash's cloud house- Turn It Off by Trey Parker, Robert Lopez, and Matt Stone "When I was in fifth grade, I had a friend, Swift Blade.... Oooh, Swift Blade...," Rainbow Dash sang as she lay on her bed in her room of her cloud house nursing a throbbing headache, which considering she got a pretty nasty concussion during the riot earlier... yeah.... so she lay on her bed with a hoof on her forehead. "She and I were close as two friends could be, One thing led to another, and soon I would discover, I was having really strange feelings for Swift...." As Rainbow sang, she turned over and put both of her hooves over her eyes. "I thought about us on a deserted cloud... We're all alone..., We'd fly naked in the sky, and then she'd try and-," As she sang... she pulled her hooves down from her eyes, and were those.... tears...? "WOAH!" A strange voice, that actually sounded exactly like Rainbow Dash did, suddenly said before she could even finish that though, and before those tears could even finish forming. Quickly, sensing the immediate presence of an intruder, Rainbow Dash quickly jumped up and turned around despite the throbbing pain in her head, only to face the full length mirror that was in her room, which wouldn't have been that out of the ordinary except that her reflection was..... singing.... too..... "Turn it off!, Rainbow Dash's reflection started singing. "Like a light switch, There it's gone! Good for you! Your hetero side just won! You're all better now, Mares should be with stallions – that's Celestia's plan, So, if you ever feel you'd rather be with a mare-, Turn it off!" As she sang, Rainbow Dash, slowly.... as she still wasn't sure just how hard she was hit, got off of her bed and walked towards her reflection until she was right in front of her mirror. "Well, um.... me," Rainbow Dash said to.... her reflection. "I think it's okay that I'm having gay thoughts. Just so long as I never act upon them." At that, her reflection just stopped and stared at her for a moment with a rather shocked expression on her face. "No," Rainbow Dash's reflection said as the cheerful smile that was on her face before suddenly returned. "'Cause then you're just keepin' it down," As she sang that, Rainbow Dash's reflection suddenly got a bit quieter and bent her knees a bit in time with the rhythm, as if to emphasize lowering. "Like a dimmer switch on low... On low, Thinking nopony needs to know. Uh oh..., But that's not true!" As she sang that last bit, she suddenly stood back up again and returned to her normal pitch and volume. "Being gay is bad, but lying is worse, So just realize you have a curable curse-, And turn it off! Turn it offfffffffffffffffffff!" Then, at that, a bunch of music suddenly started playing out of nowhere, as Rainbow Dash's reflection stood up on both her rear hooves, threw forehooves out and sang to the sky. Rainbow Dash had to take a look all around her room to see where it was coming from. Maybe she was hit harder than she thought. "Turn it off!" Then, suddenly, Rainbow Dash's reflection suddenly reached out of frame from a mirror and pulled out a pool cue and a top hat. Without breaking the flow of the music, she put the top hat on started dancing with the pool cue like it was a cane.... A rather long, straight cane, but still..... a cane.... As the saxophone blasted from seemingly nowhere, Rainbow Dash's reflection danced her hooves away in the confined space of the mirror she was allowed. At this point, Rainbow Dash stopped looking for the source of the music and just watched in confusion as her reflection danced in front of her. Yeah, she knew how to dance, she always had, but she never learned how to dance like that, nor did she actually own top hat or any pool cues. She didn't even own a pool table. And why was her reflection so damned jubilant? "Turn it off!" Rainbow Dash's reflection sang out one more time as she threw both the top hat and pool cue away and stopped dancing. "Now, how do you feel?" Rainbow Dash's reflection asked her with a smile that Pinkie Pie would envy on her face. "Uhh...... The same," Rainbow Dash responded, only for a chorus of "Aaaaawwwwwww," to suddenly chime in out of nowhere. "Then you've only got yourself to blame," Rainbow Dash's reflection kept singing and bobbing to the rhythm at that. "You didn't pretend hard enough, Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes, Then find the box that's gay and CRUSH IT!" Rainbow Dash's reflection didn't even sing that last part, she just yelled it. "Okay?" Rainbow Dash's reflection as she quickly reverted back to her normal.... ish, jubilant self with a very wide smile on her face. "No, no... I'm not having gay thoughts," Rainbow Dash quickly responded to appease her reflection, which was kind of starting to freak her out a little now. "Alright! It worked!" Rainbow Dash's reflection shouted as she stood on her rear hooves again and threw her forehooves out in excitement. "YAY!!!!!" A chorus of cheers suddenly shouted seemingly out of nowhere, as if congratulating Dash for... something..... -Fluttershy's cottage- Omnos by Eluveitie At Fluttershy's cottage, a chorus of really strange, really weird, really epic, really AWESOME folk seemed to radiate from somewhere on her place of residence as she tended to all of her animals, as it was their feeding time. Upon closer inspection, it was actually her animals that were playing the epicly awesome folk music- -That the author really recommends because Eluveitie is made of awesome and you all should check them out- -while Fluttershy began to sing. "Immi daga uimpi geneta, lana beððos et iouintutos, Blatus ceti, cantla carami," Fluttershy sang as she sprinkled out some birdseed for her birds before putting it away and grabbing a bag of nuts for the squirrels and rodents. "Aia gnata uimpi iouinca, pid in cete tu toue suoine, pid uregisi peli doniobi," She sang as she laid out a few nuts of varying types, but all of large enough sizes for the squirrels and rodents before she pulled the bag away. With that done, she put the bag where she found it, and grabbed a bag of fish food for her fish. "Aia gnata uimpi iouinca, pid in cete tu toue suoine," Fluttershy sang as she fed her fish, but as she did, a suddenly worry caught her, and it was reflected in her eyes. As she returned to put the bag of fish food back where she found it, she caught a glimpse of Ponyville in the distance. "Aia mape coime, adrete! In blatugabagli uorete, cante snon celiIui in cete!" She sang as she flew towards the front of her cottage towards it, stopping only at the foot of her porch. All around her, a whole bunch of animals, including the ones that were playing the instruments, ran up by her side. "Vrit- me lindos dubnon -piseti," She sang along with all of her animal friends as she looked out back at her home town, her worry only increasing, along with the knowledge that there was nothing she could do. "Vrit- me lindos dubnon -piseti," She continued to sing, with only her animals for company. The animals who despite everything kept playing THAT AWESOME FOLK MUSIC!!!!! -Back in Ponyville proper- Don't Stop Me Now by Queen Somehow...... Some..... way.... you aren't even sure anymore. You, Spike, Pinkie Pie, and from what you can only assume is EVERY PONY IN PONYVILLE, had moved from the square that you were before to Ponyville's main town square, which you were absolutely certain was NOT the direction Spike was leading you. You don't even remember walking here, SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU GET HE- "I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars, On a collision course." Pinkie Pie kept singing, as if to somehow intentionally train wreck your thoughts. Also, she had a top hat for some reason now, but she took it off, spun it around and put it on the top of her pool cue for some reason. "I am a satellite I'm out of control." At that, Pinkie then spun her pool cue around, and threw the top hat out into the MASSIVE crowd of ponies dancing around her all with pool cues, only for some random stallion to jump up and catch it perfectly on top of his head. "I am a sex machine ready to reload," At that, Pinkie suddenly spun the pool cue around, brought it between her legs with the front end sticking out, and started to ride it like a.... a.... a........... WHY IS GHOST SOMBRA LAUGHING!!!!????? "Like an atom bomb about to," Oh oh oh oh oh explode!" The entire town sang with her as she finished her.... pole dance...... "I'm burning through the sky, Yeah!" Pinkie sang at the top of her lungs as she pulled the pool cue out from under her, spun it around, and then brought the front end to her mouth like a microphone again. "Two hundred degrees, That's why they call me Missus Fahrenheit, I'm trav'ling at the speed of light, I wanna make a supersonic stallion of you!" At that Pinkie then pointed out at the random stallion in the crowd who happened to catch her top hat, who just winked at her. She then held the pool cue horizontally and started swinging it back and forth as she started kicking like she was in a chorus line. All around her, all the other ponies started doing the same thing. "Don't stop me, Don't stop me, Don't stop me, Hey hey hey!" All the other ponies started chanting as they danced in place. Then, suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, you didn't even see her leave the crowd, Berry Punch, who also had her own pool cue by the way, came up from behind Pinkie Pie and started talking to her. "Hey Pinkie, you know what time it is?" Berry asked her. "Don't stop me, Don't stop me, Ooh ooh ooh (I like it)," The rest of the crowd chanted behind them, with the stallion in the top hat leading the other stallions. "I don't know, what time is it Berry?" Pinkie replied as she stopped dancing and gave her all of the attention. "Don't stop me, Don't stop me, Have a good time, good time," The rest of the ponies continued to sing. "Well......." Berry said as she raised her pool cue, only for Pinkie to follow her actions. "Don't stop me, Don't stop me," "ITS TIME AT THE BAR!" Berry Punch shouted as she and Pinkie Pie raised their pool cues high, only to charge forward.... right at you..... to a chorus of. "Ooh ooh alright!" -Berry Punch's bar- Drink by Alestorm Suddenly, a MASSIVE mob of ponies, all armed with pool cues, crashed through the locked doors of Berry Punch's bar (which was closed by the guards because of the riot by the way), and charged towards the counter where all the BOOZE was. Somehow, as that happened, when the kicked the door down, the bolt on the door flew off, ricocheted off of one of the barstools, and flew towards the jukebox. The moment the bolt hit the jukebox, it turned it on and a an anthem of METAL started blasting throughout the bar as Berry Punch and Minuette dove behind the bar and started pouring all the steins they could find with beer. "Oy you, gimme some beer," the stallion with the top hat said with a wink as THE ANTHEM OF METAL PICKED up and Berry Punch and Minuette started passing out all the beer they could to every single patron of the now reopened (by force) bar. "Drinkin's now a crime and crime doesn't pay," Berry Punch sung as she slid four more pints of beer down the bar to the four matching patrons at the end (all of whom were mares). "And we go home poor at the end of the day, But I'd rather live my life in rags, Than be chained to a desk with a wife thats a hag." As she sang that, Berry Punch glanced over at Minuette with a loving gleam in her eye. Upon seeing that, Minuette winked back at her, then she stepped on top of the bar, and then stood on top of it on her rear hooves while holding FOURTEEN pints of beer. Three in each forehoof, and eight more with her magical grasp. "We live each day like there's nothing to lose," Minuette sang as she started handing out pints to even more patrons of the bar. "But a mare has needs and the need is booze," At that, Minuette then brought the three pints of beer in her left hoof to her mouth, and took swigs from all three of them, making Berry Punch laugh a bit. "They say all the best things in life are free, So give all your beer and your rum to me!" Then, at that, she threw every single pint of beer she was holding straight up into the air, only for every single of of them to be caught by different patrons without spilling a drop. "We are here to drink your beer," Berry Punch, Minuette, and every single patron at the bar sang as they all thrust their pints of beer to the ceiling, drank merrily, danced, banged their heads, and had fun. "And steal your rum at a point of a gun, Your alcohol to us will fall, Cause we are here to drink your beer," "We are here to drink your beer, And steal your rum at a point of a gun, Your alcohol to us will fall, Cause we are here to drink your beer!" Then, at that, all with pints, they all started chanting as they drank and raised their pints to the ceiling. "Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!" Every time that word was said, at least five different patrons took a drink. Everything was perfect, everypony was happy, nothing was wrong.... until the music was abruptly silenced by the sound of a CRASH! The instant that sound hit all their ears (well it was more the music abruptly stopping but the crashing noise got them too), every pony patron in the bar looked over to the jukebox, only to see that a spear had been thrown through it. They then all drew their eyes towards the entrance, only to see three guards standing there, one of them missing a spear. The literal instant that everypony realized that they were in fact, really standing there, it immediately got quiet. One could hear a pin drop it was so quiet. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of the three guard's hooves as they leisurely strolled into the bar, the one leading them with a smirk on his face. "Oy," the lead one said in what sounded like a very thick English accent as he looked around the bar with a smirk on his face. "What do we have here?" "Well," the guard to his right, who still had his spear replied. "These ponies broke into this bar an-" "That was rhetorical," the first guard responded before the second one could even finish, upon which he shut up. At that, he then walked around and looked at all the patrons. "You all do know that we outlawed drinking and closed down all the bars in this town..... Well, this bar, its the only bar in this rathole of a town.... After that.... incident, you all caused a few weeks ago. But you all knew that, right?" At that, he then leered at literally every single patron of the bar. It took them all a moment, but after those words left his mouth, everypony suddenly realized that they were in fact, all still holding pints of beer. At this realization, they all hit the pints behind their backs and put on the most innocent smiles possible. The lead guard's grin only widened at this. "You do all know that we can arrest every single one of you just for being here right?" At that, he then drew his attention towards the bar, then at Berry Punch, then at the massive collection of rather nice bottles of booze and fine alcohol behind her. At that, his... sinister-ish smile increased as he turned his attention back to the guard to his left, the one sans a spear. Upon seeing that, the guard just nodded at him and walked off in the direction of the jukebox while the lead pony and his right hand pony headed over to the bar. "But I'm not going to do that, not today." In front of him, all the patrons parted ways and allowed him to proceed. Once he was there, he pushed a patron out of the nearest barstool onto the floor before taking the barstool for himself, all while leering at Berry Punch. "I must say, that is a rather nice collection of alcohol," he said to her. "Um... thank you..." Berry Punch rather nervously responded. Next to her, Minuette tried desperately to contain any trace of negativity she had for this guard, or any guard here for that matter. "Serve me up a Mystic Amethyst," he said to her. "What?" Berry Punch asked, confused. This guard... the same ones that outlawed drinking, just- "Did I stutter?" the guard replied with a smirk. "Eep, no!" Berry Punch quickly said before she dove down under the bar in order to get the necessary drinks to make that drink. While she was down under the bar, the guard turned his gaze towards Minuette, who just glared back at him, which only caused him to wink at her. Apparently he liked that. Over at the jukebox, the guard who was minus a spear walked up to it, grabbed his spear with a hoof, then with one quick jerk, pulled it out of the jukebox and the wall behind it like it was nothing. As he pulled the spear out, the needle from the player in the jukebox fell back onto the record, and started playing again. This time however, instead of the EPIC METAL ANTHEM that was playing before, a nice little piano ditty started playing. Name your Poison by Christopher Lee The moment the music started playing, Berry Punch finished making the guard's drink and gave it to him. The guard, who was a unicorn by the way, took it from her and eyed it for a moment. "Mai Tai say that I'm Old Fashioned Très Vin ordinaire." The lead guard began to sing as he looked through his drink at the other patrons of the bar. As he did, his left hoof guard returned to his side, but he didn't take a seat. The right hoof guard just looked around at all the patrons, who were all still nervous by his presence. "That I want a fresh Manhattan With white anglo-saxons everywhere?" The lead guard continued to sing. "A Black Russian's No Pink lady Give her the Singapore sling!" Then, at that, the lead guard then threw his drink up into the air, not even bothering to drink. Nopony caught it and it and it crashed to the ground. "And Moscow mule is not your baby So Highball the Vodka and name your sting!" Then at that, he reached over the bar and shoved Berry Punch to the right, right into Minuette, which knocked them both to the floor. Then, with one great leap, he leapt right over the bar and pulled several bottles of varying types of booze off of the wall, and one from under the counter. "Be a Big shot With a Bull shot Be a Schwein Mit der Wein!" He sang as he held them all up for all to see. "Have a short Or a Port Or a snort Of any sort!" As he sang that bit, he started pouring out shot glasses for all the different types of booze that he collected, all the while still collecting more in between pouring. "Asti spumante – Uno Chianti Are divine!" Then, at that, he suddenly thrust one of the shots he poured into one of the patron's at the bar's hooves, then another one, then another, then he threw two up on the air, and they were caught by two other patrons. One of them looked at his drink, confused for a moment, but when he did, one of the other guard's spear was immediately at his throat. Scared, the pony looked up to see the guard smirking and eyeing the drink, then at him. Not sure of what to do, the pony nervously downed the shot, at which point the guard pulled away his spear. Back at the bar, the lead guard started pouring more shots with his magic and mixing different drinks with his hooves, yes he could do that, while Berry Punch and Minuette nervously watched from across the bar, knowing that there really was nothing they could do to stop him. "I got some economic, Hocks, The lead guard sang as he mixed a drink to the piano music. "A Gin and tonic, On the rocks!" Where pegasai fear to tread, I say: Choose your booze! Let's hit the Red eye!" Then, at that, the guard threw several more shots out at the crowd, every single one of which was caught and downed almost immediately by the patrons for fear of what happened if they didn't. "Think of young Deanna Durbin And how she sung on Rum and Bourbon Or enhance your lunch- Eon hour with a Planter's Punch And a Whiskey sour! If you feel like a wreck Try a Horse's Neck Or a Sherry With a cherry In the new fun size!" Then at that, he stopped pouring and throwing out drinks and then pointed at one of the random ponies at the bar, and by pointed, he pressed his hoof right into the pony's muzzle, all the while looking gleefully evil at him. "If you don't name your poison, We'll have to get the boys in, The spirit of adventure opens one's eyes!" As he sang that last bit, he ran his hooves across his eyes while smiling, for some reason. Then he turned to another patron towards the back and pointed at him. His left hand guard followed by running up to this pony and pointing his spear at his throat. "If you don't name your poison, We'll have to get the boys in, And you'll never see another Tequila Sunrise!" At that, the pony nervously downed the show he was given. Satisfied, the guard pulled his spear away from the pony's neck and walked away. Back at the bar, the lead guard started dancing in place to himself as the music kept going on and he mixed another drink. As he did, he drew his attention over towards Berry Punch and Minuette, the former of which was still on the floor with Minuette helping her up, and both of whom were keeping their distance from him. "Live happily ever after, With a Chablis and some laughter," The lead guard sang to the two of them as he mixed a drink for them. "'Between the Sheets' is lovely, With a dizzy blonde and a bottle of bubbly!" Then at that, he poured out the drink in two separate glasses and handed them both to them. As he did, he made sure the knife on his belt was shown. Nervously, both Minuette and Berry Punch took them, but they didn't drink. Thankfully for them, they didn't need to, cause the lead guard took his attention away from them and turned it back to the crowd. "There's nothing sicker in society, Than a lack of liquor and sobriety!" The lead guard sang as he poured out more drinks, with him momentarily distracted, Berry Punch and Minuette threw down their drinks and made a break for the back door. Thankfully he didn't see them go. "So, down the hatch, Here's mud in your eye, Take a bracer, With a chaser, Wash it down with Rye! Bottoms up! Stirrup cup!" At that, he hoofed out something like 30 drinks with his telekinesis to random patrons while pouring more. "It'll put you in the pink, And all you have to do is, Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!" As both he and his two compatriots chanted those last few words, the lead guard threw up his hooves in triumph and his two compatriots kept thrusting their spears at random patrons, forcing them to drink. "Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink! Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!" Still, they were forcing them all to drink. Nervously, the ponies kept doing so, for fear of what would happen to them if they disobeyed. "Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink! Driiiink!" At that, the lead guard then held up more bottles of alcohol and stood up onto the bar. "Driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-" "RIGHT! STOP THAT!!!!!!" The moment that.... voice... that could rival the royal Canterlot voice sounded, everypony stopped doing whatever they were doing and froze in place like they were all hit with an insta-freeze ray. Slowly, every single patron, including the guards, turned their attention back to the entrance to see................. The Colonel...... standing in the doorway. He didn't say anything at first as he slowly walked into the bar. Then, when he was about half way through, he eyed the two guards with the spears, and then the lead guard, who was still on top of the bar. All it took for the lead guard was the Colonel's stare to remind him just who the lead guard REALLY was. "Its silly," The Colonel said as he looked around at all the patrons. "Very, very, very silly indeed. You all know that drinking has been outlawed by the rule of Celestia, so clear off before we're forced to arrest every single one of you." Not a single pony in the bar moved. They all just stared at him, confused, wondering why in Tartarus this pony who didn't dress like a guard, and was wearing a Sergeant Major patch yet calling himself "The Colonel" was somehow in charge of all the guards. "WELL! CLEAR OFF!!!!!!!" The colonel shouted at the top of his lungs again. At that, every single pony put down their drinks and slowly started to leave the bar. Equally slowly, the three guards started leaving as well, with the former lead guard climbing down off the bar. "You three!" The colonel said as he pointed his riding crop at them. "I'll be speaking with your squad commander about this." At that, they didn't say anything else, they just left. With that over, everypony- "You, come with me," The colonel said too..... no one. "I'm talking to you." Me? "Yes you! Come with me." Um.... okay... -Transition- "Right," The colonel spoke as we all sat in his office. His rather nice office here in Ponyville. "Now lets see something decent, and military. Some precision drilling." -Outside- Just outside, at the edge of town, near the border of the nearby forest, stood eight guards in full armor. All of whom stood at attention in two rows of four. "SQUAD!!!!" Their drill instructor yelled at all of them, which made them all raise their heads at attention. "CAMP IT! UP!!!" "Oooh get her! Whoops! I've got your number ducky. You couldn't afford me, dear. Two three. I'd scratch your eyes out." "Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear, We all know where you've been, you military fairy!" "Whoops, don't look now girls, The major's just minced in, With that dolly colour sergeant, Two, three, ooh-ho!" Then at that, they all stood at attention again. "RIGHT! STOP THAT!!!" The colonel shouted as he walked out in front of the eight guards. "It's silly. And a bit suspect I think." He paused for a moment to reflect on that before he turned his attention back to me, yes me, the narration. "Time for the next cha-" Twilight: If that colonel shows up again, let him know – casually, of course – that Fillydelphia is far sillier than anything in Ponyville. If he doesn't leave then, tell him that Blueblood plowed said Colonel's mother. (his mother's dead. Blueblood knows) "HEY WAIT!!!" Pinkie Pie suddenly shouted as she equally suddenly appeared in the frame, much to the annoyance of the colonel. "We're not done yet!" "Yes you are," The colonel replied to Pinkie Pie as he turned to face her. "This chapter started out all right with a simple Pink Floyd Melody in the background while actual, plot related events were taking place, but then you had to come in singing Queen and just make everything silly, and the pool cues were a waste of a reference too. Even if the viewers were able to put together the Shawn of the Dead reference from both them and the song you sang, it still didn't make any lick of sense, and therefore got too silly too quickly. Also, you've sung seven songs already, its time to move on, any longer and this chapter will get even more silly, and I can't have that. Not while I'm here." "YEAH well I'll have you know that Fillydelphia is far sillier than anything that happens here in Ponyville!!!" Pinkie Pie shouted at him. "That may be," the colonel replied. "But for the time being I am stationed here in Ponyville, and as such, it is my duty to prevent any silliness that happens in this town." "Yeah well you forgot one thing Mr. Sergeant Major!" Pinkie Pie shouted rather angrily at him. "Its Colonel," the colonel replied. "NO! Because that's a Seregeant Major patch, not a colonel!" Pinkie Pie replied with a roll of her eyes. "You don't get to decide when the chapter ends. Also Prince Blueblood slept with your mother!" "My mother is dead," the colonel replied, not a once even flinching throughout this whole conversation. "Blueblood knows," Pinkie replied with a sudden smirk. At that, the colonel's eyes spontaneously went as wide as they possibly could have and his jaw dropped open. "Cue the transition Razor Bazer!" Already on it Pinkie. -Transition back to Ponyville- Suddenly, in the middle of Ponyville, in front of the mayor's office, a stage was set up. No, seriously, a stage was set up. A full on stage, with speakers, a drum set, fireworks, and full on stage props. Seriously, there was everything here. How did you even get here? You don't even remember walking to this part of town? It was almost as if this story momentarily forgot that it was taking place from your perspective. Yes, the perspective of you, Twilight Sparkle. The personal protege of Princess Celestia, the one who was SUPPOSED to be following Spike to wherever Jason was right now (thankfully he was still right next to you), but instead, you find yourselves here. WHAT IS GOING ON! HOW DID YOU GET HERE!? "Beats the **** out of me," Ghost Sombra doesn't say as he looked up at the stage, as do you and Spike. There was a whole crowd of ponies there, all of whom looking at the stage, and all of them cheering. Thankfully they weren't pushing. On stage, you could see two ponies at the guitars, well three if you counted the bassist, and one at the drumset. You couldn't see any of their faces, in fact you couldn't see anything on the stage. They kept dark, which was kind of amazing considering it was still daytime. Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper "FEED MY..... FRANKENSTEIN!" As those words suddenly echoed from the stage, there was a massive explosion as several fireworks went off as the band started playing, and suddenly, you could see a fifth pony on the stage. It was...... Oh dear sweet merciful Celestia it wasn't...... "YEAH PINKIE PIE!!!!!" Several random ponies shouted out from the crowd as they all started cheering. You know what, you're just going to be honest now... "Does that mean you'll ac-" Except for that, that's still not there. Nope.... there is no Ghost Sombra... On the stage, standing in the middle of the stage on her hind hooves with her forehooves thrown out to the sides, with a riding crop in her right forehoof, was none other than Pinkie Pie. She was wearing a black leather jacket and pants that hugged her body tightly, as well as black T-shirt with a skull on it. Also, her hair was straight for some reason, but none of that was nearly as shocking to see as her face. She was wearing makeup. All it really consisted of was pure black eye shadow all around her eyes and black lines that ran down her face, but makeup nonetheless. Also she seemed..... gleefully sinister.... Yeah, thats the best way to put it. As all the ponies in the crowd cheered for her, she...... strutted.... swaying her hips and everything, over to the microphone, grabbed it, and started singing. "Well, I ain't evil, I'm just good lookin', Start a little fire, and baby start cookin', I'm a hungry mare, But I don't want pizza, I'll blow down your house, And then I'm gonna eat ya." As she sang, she sensually walked to the front of the stage, right up to where you were standing. Then, right as she finished the last lyric, whacked the edge of the stage with her riding crop. "Bring you to a simmer, Right on time, Run my greasy fingers, Up your greasy spine." As she sang that part, she leaned...... far.... off of the stage, right up to you, and made a motion with her right hoof like she was doing just that. It kind of freaked you out a little bit. "Feed my Frankenstein, Meet my libido, She's a psycho, Feed my Frankenstein." As she sang that, she sensually walked around the stage, and then at the last part, whacked the stage several times with her riding crop. Seriously, where did she even get that? Why did she even have that? "Hungry for love, And it's feeding time." At that, she paused for a moment and threw her mane around while the band did their thing. Out in the crowd, where you were, the crowd would NOT die down. "You don't want to talk, So baby shut up." She looked right at you as she sang that. Again, it kind of freaked you out a little bit. "And let me drink the wine from your fur tea cup, Velcro candy, sticky sweet, Make my tattoos melt in the heat." At that, she then rushed over to edge of the stage and leaned out again, though thankfully this time, not at you, more to the rest of the crowd... of ponies.... who were all cheering for her. "Well, I ain't no veggie, Like my flesh on the bone, Alive and lickin' on your ice cream coooooooooooooone." You Suffer by Napalm Death "UREH!!!!!" Suddenly, at that sound, everything IMMEDIATELY stopped. The music, Pinkie Pie's singing, the crowd's cheering, even the sound of the wind. EVERYTHING.............. Okay now this was really creeping you out. "You know, all this EPIC metal stuff is fun and all," Pinkie Pie said as her hair suddenly turned poofy again. "But isn't the point of a musical TO HAVE FUN!!!!" Then at that, the stage suddenly exploded. Zidler's Rap from Moulin Rouge No, really, the stage in front of you quite literally exploded. Surprisingly it was made of paper mache, and it exploded with a huge explosion of confetti and smoke, almost like that was the plan all along. "MOULIN..... ROUGE!!!!" The voice of a random male pony suddenly shouted from... somewhere, and its at this point that everypony in the crowd was wearing some kind of really nice, really fancy, rather frilly dress. Thankfully you weren't wearing a dress, and Spike wasn't wearing anything... wait..... when did he get a top hat? Well, judging from the way he was grasping it, he probably didn't even realize he was wearing it until right now. "If life's an awful bore, And living's just a chore, That you do 'cause death's not much fun." You suddenly hear the voice of Pinkie sing. Quickly, you look back towards the smoke where the stage used to be.... only to see...... quite a few mares in frilly dresses...... you couldn't quite tell how many there were cause of the smoke, but you could tell it was a lot, and in the middle of them all, was Pinkie Pie, who had now ditched her black leather and was now wearing some kind of red jacket with a filly white shirt. Also she was wearing a top hat and had a cane now.... for no explicable reason. Also.... she was walking... No..... strutting.... right to you. Also you noticed that practically every mare in Ponyville was singing, but you couldn't quite make out what they were saying. "I've just the antedote, And though I mustn't gloat, And in Ponyville you'll have fun!" Then, at that, she smacked a mare on the rump with her cane and threw her forehooves out in seeming happiness. Then, at that, she reached you, only to wink at you and walk around you as all the mares dancing around her kept dancing and purposefully throwing up their dresses. As you turned, you could see off in the distance you could see a random mare grabbing a random stallion and kissing him. You hoped that they knew each other. "So scratch that little neggle, Give a little wiggle." At that, Pinkie stopped for a moment, as did all the mares dancing around her, jumped up, turned around, and shook her rump. As all of the mares did this they made sure to throw up their dresses in some way. Though Pinkie, since she didn't have a dress, didn't do that. "You know that you can, Because we." At that, Pinkie Pie stuck her cane into the ground, and twirled around it to face forward again before thrusting her hips out forward. "Can Can-can! Don't say you can't, can't, can't! You know you can Can-can!" -Meanwhile, in Trottingham- Make it Bun Dem by Skrillex and Damian Marley Meanwhile, all that way in the house of Bon Bon's cousin in Trottingham, Lyra, Bon Bon, and her cousin Milky Way, all sat on the couch in her living room. On her head, Bon Bon wore a green, yellow, and red knit cap and a pair of sunglasses. Also her mane had been woven into dreadlocks for some reason. To her right, sat Lyra, and to her left, was her cousin Milky, and on the table in front of them, was a MASSIVE, lit, bong. "We mash up the place, Turn up the bass, And mek dem all have fun." They all sang, seemingly ignoring the fact that there was enough smoke in the house to probably be considered a fire hazard. "A-we ablaze the fire, Make it bun dem." "We mash up the place, Turn up the bass, And mek sum soundboy run, And we will end your week, Just like a Sunday." "We mash up the place, Turn up the bass, And mek dem all have fun, Razor ablaze the fire, Make it bun dem." "We mash up the place, Turn up the bass, And mek sum soundboy run, And we will end your week, Just like a Sunday." Then, at that, Bon Bon grabbed the bong and took another, MASSIVE hit. "Hey, Milky," Lyra asked Bon Bon's cousin while she waited her turn. "Yeah," Milky responded in that sweet, innocent voice she had. "What do you think you're milk tastes like when you're high?" Lyra asked. At that, Milky just threw on a real, REAL, sensual smirk and giggled a little bit. "Wanna find out?" she replied as Bon Bon handed the bong to her. -Back to Ponyville- Zidler's Rap from Moulin Rouge The hay was that? Oh, well, it probably doesn't matter now because EVERY SINGLE stallion in Ponyville (who are all now wearing top hats and suits for some reason, oh, and they have canes too), are all dancing in organized, straight lines by throwing up their hooves, and by extension their hats and canes, and doing a series of pelvic thrusts. "Here we are now, Entertain us! We feel stupid, And contagious! Here we are now, entertain us, A mulatto, An albino, A mosquito, My libido." Then, suddenly, the moment they finished that, Pinkie Pie came right back out of nowhere. This time, to the left of you as she sensually strutted through the lines of mares towards the stallions. "Got some dark desire? Like to play with fire? Why not let it rip? Live a little bit!" At that, she held her cane in front of her and did another pelvic thrust. "Here we are now, Entertain us!" The stallions kept singing as they danced towards the mares. "We can Can-can! Don't say you can't, can't, can't! You know you can Can-can!" Then, suddenly, right as Pinkie Pie was half way to the meeting of the mares and stallions, she turned and looked right back at you again. It was at this point that you realized that Spike was no longer at your side. OKAY NOW YOU WERE REALLY WORRIED! "Outside it may be raining, But in here it's entertaining!" Then, at that, she suddenly dropped her cane and grabbed both of your forehooves. SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS SPIKE!!! "If you like, like, like, To be free, free, free, Ponyville is the place to be!" All of the mares and stallions sang together as they came together. "Because we can Can-can! Yes we can Can-can!" Pinkie Pie sang as she got REAL close and pressed her eyes against yours. No, really, she was doing that. SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS SPIKE!? Smells like Teen Spirit by Nirvana Then, as all the mares and stallions came together, and all started dancing with, around, and in every manner possible, they sang. "When the light's out, It's less dangerous, Here we are now, entertain us, I feel stupid and contagious, Here we are now, entertain us, A mulatto, An albino, A mosquito, My libido." Then at that, they each grabbed a partner, all looked to the sky, and shouted, well, more like chanted, two words over and over again. "A denial!! A denial!! A denial!! A denial!! A denial!! A denial!! A denial!! A denial!! A denial!!" Then, suddenly, the music (which you just now noticed was coming from seemingly nowhere) died down slowly, and all the stallions got on their knees for the mares as they held their hooves. Likewise, Pinkie did for you, for some odd reason. Everything was quiet.... too quiet... Then you looked down at Pinkie Pie. On her face... was a smile.... and it was getting bigger... and bigger... and bigger. "Please no...." you quietly say in a.... very small voice. "Too late, you're already in it," Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you. Because We Can by Fatboy Slim "Because we can, can, can, Yes, we can, can, can, can, Can, can, can, can, can." Pinkie suddenly SHOUTED at you as she suddenly jumped up to her hooves, and pressed her eyeballs right against yours again. Then, suddenly, everypony, all the stallions, jumped up and started dancing with their mares. From what you could tell they were dancing in every way possible, but all were sensual.... WAY to sensual for you... especially right now... with Pinkie Pie. "Oh, oh, Oh, oh, Oh, oh." Everypony seemed to chant as they danced. "Everypony can, can." Pinkie sang as she danced with you. Well, not so much dance, as throw you everywhere in ways that made it seem like you were dancing. You don't even know how to dance. "Oh, oh, Oh, oh, Oh, oh." "Everypony can, can." Pinkie Pie sang as she spun you around one more time, then brought your face close to her's again. "Because we can, can, can, Yes, we can, can, can, Yes, we can, can, can." The longer this went on, the more you thought that she seriously had at this point, lost it. Also WHAT WAS WITH HER OBSESSION WITH THE WORD "CAN"? "Because we can, can, can, Yes, we can, can, can, Yes, we can, can, can." SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS SPIKE!? "Oh, oh, Oh, oh, Oh, oh." Great, now Ghost Sombra is singing along with them too. NO WAIT, NO HE ISN'T!!!!!!! "Everypony can, can." Why... "Oh, oh, Oh, oh, Oh, oh." WAS... "Can, can, can." THIS.... Everypony can, can. HAPPENING!? "Bumpy, bumpy, Grinding, Bumpy, bumpy, Grinding, Bumpy, bumpy, Grinding." NO GHOST SOMBRA!!!!! NO!!!!! JUS- "Bumpy, bumpy, Grinding, Bumpy, bumpy, Grinding." "CELESTIA DAMNIT, SOMBRA!" You don't accidentally shout to the heavens because of all the bulls*** that's been happening, and Ghost Sombra (who doesn't exist) clearly isn't helping. "Who?" Pinkie asked, while dancing. "Who?" You reply nervously, you didn't shout, of course you didn't. "Nopo-" "Can can, can, Yes, we can, can, can, Yes, we can, can, can." Great, of course she was going to interrupt you. "Because we can, can, can, Yes we can, can, can, Yes we can, can, can." You know what, you don't even care anymore. You're just gonna stop right here. It doesn't matter how many times Pinkie spins you around or throws you. You're done... You're not doing this anymore. "Because we, Because we, Because we, Because we." Not even the combination of Pinkie Pie and Ghost Sombra can make you not be done.... You're done... "Because we can, can, can, Because we can, can, can, Because we can, can, can." Well that just magnifies the amount of doneness that you are right now. "Oh, oh, Oh, oh, Oh, oh." Did you forget to mention how done you were? Cause you're done. "Everypony can, can." D-O-N-E- "Oh, oh, Oh, oh, Oh, oh." OH PLEASE MOMMY FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!! YOU'LL DO ANYTHING! YOU'LL EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE GHOST SOMBRA IF YOU HAVE TO!!! JUST PLEASE!!! MOMMY!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!! "Because we can, can, can." Oh.... it stopped........ Huh..... Well maybe that was what it took. With the song FINALLY over, everypony stops dancing and just stands completely still in front of their partners, with a few hugging and even kissing. You think you also caught one couple doing.... other things.... but you aren't about to look again. You just look back at Pinkie Pie, she's just smiling at you, in that same way she does..... You are so going to slap her for this later, and you don't slap ponies.... Not that it matters though, its finally over, and with that Pinkie lets you go, though she doesn't stop smiling for some reason. With you out of her grasp, you take in a deep breath, and try to refocus your thoughts. First, you need to find Spike. Second, you need to get back to finding Ja- Turn Down for What by DJ Snake and Lil Jon "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!!" Suddenly, breaking the ****ing silence like a brick to a window, Vinyl Scratch jumps up above the crowd screaming that.... Almost immediately, as she says that, she jumps up into the air again. When she comes lands, she lands right at her DJ table, which is situated in between two MASSIVE speakers that put the ones that were at the paper mache stage earlier to shame. Apparently, her DJ table was set up this whole time. Seriously, with speakers that big, how did none of you notice that. "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!!" Vinyl shouts at the top her lungs again as she starts DJing. At this, all of the ponies start dancing again, though this time, it was a VERY different type of dance. Actually, you resend that. They weren't dancing at all, they were humping the floor, and each other, and everything they saw. Thankfully, nopony was humping you though. For some reason though, that made you a bit.... angry. Even Ghost Sombra wasn't humping you. "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!!" For some reason...... this agitated you.... more than the fact that they were humping each other........ more than anything.... it made you.... "TURN DOWN FOR WHA-" Right before Vinyl could even finish shouting that phrase, a MASSIVE explosion came out of nowhere and blew the top off of Vinyl's left speaker. This had the effect of rending not only the music, but everypony.... EVERYPONY, there, completely silent. Upon retrospect, you realize just how little of that theres been in the past hour or so.... Anyway, about the blast of... To be honest you weren't even sure what it was. It wasn't magic, that much was certain. No, this explosion was more artificial than that, as if somepony actually bothered to mix all the chemicals necessary to create an explosion and... just set it off on Vinyl speaker... No, wait, you resend that, it was as if somepony FIRED some kind of explosion at the speaker from a canon. It wouldn't have been a cannonball, that would have just gone through Vinyl's speaker not blow it up, also the explosion was too small to have been from a cannonball if it really was done that way, this was from something else. Slowly, you turn around in the direction you THINK the blast came from.... Only to see that you, and everypony in the square right now all were surrounded by several hundred, very annoyed, very ANGRY guards, and all of them were armed with those strange, black sticks that you saw them all carrying when you first got here. Only, there was one difference. Underneath the long part of the many of their sticks, but not all of them, were what you could only guess was some kind of barrel. Off in the distance, you saw a pony load something into the one on his stick before pointing it back at the rest of you. In front of all of these guards, leading them, was that one pony... The one that was in your library... The colonel... that was what his name was. "RIGHT! STOP THAT!!!!" He shouted at everypony, including you, and the instant those words left his mouth, if everypony's attention wasn't on him before, then it certainly was now. "IT'S SILLY!!!!!!" "It is silly, it is silly, It's a beast known as silly!" All of the guards behind him began to sing the moment that last word left his mouth. The Mob Song from Beauty and the Beast "We'll rid the village of this Beast! Who's with me!?" The colonel shouted as he pointed at the crowd with his riding crop, then turned back to all of the troops he was leading. "I am!, I am!, I am!" The guard's enthusiastically shouted one by one as they all raised their stick, as if they were somehow excited that this was happening, that they were getting the opportunity to do this. "Light your torch! Mount your horse!" All the guards began to sing in unison as they, and the colonel, marched towards all of the ponies in the square. Some tried to run, but when they did, some of the guards fired something out from the barrel underneath their sticks at them. When it reached them, whatever those guards shot at them, it exploded into some kind of orange gas. A gas that made whatever pony run into it scream in pain as they ran back out into the crowd in the square to get as far away as possible from it. The ones that you saw that did make it out, they all had red eyes, and tears were pouring down all of their faces. Tear gas.... The guards were shooting tear gas at the ponies. "Screw your courage to the sticking place!" The colonel shouted as behind him, several more guards fired tear gas... shots, at the area surrounding the crowd of ponies that you now found yourself in. There was no way out now without running through it. "We're counting on The Colonel to lead the way!" All of the guards sang as they marched on the crowd of ponies. This.... This was insane... Guards were....... THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE THIS!!!! "Through a mist, through a wood, Where within this little town." You hear a random mare start singing, but you can't tell where she is. The gas is surrounding all of you now. "Something's lurking that you don't see ev'ry day!" More ponies from all around you chimed in, but you couldn't tell who they were. None of the ponies around you were singing, so whoever was singing, you couldn't tell or see them. "It's a beast! One as tall as a mountain, We won't rest 'til he's good and deceased." The guards sang as they now surrounded the ever shrinking crowd of ponies. Some ponies tried to resist them, but to those that did, the guards just pointed that end of that stick at their necks or heads, and that was all it took to make them back away. Those sticks, whatever they were, everypony was really afraid of them. "Sally forth! Tally ho! Grab your spear! Grab your bow! Praise Celestia and here we go!" As they sang that, one of them whacked a pony that was trying to flee upside the head with the end of his stick. Another group tried to do the same thing, but after a very loud "BANG!" noise, they stopped. You didn't see what happened, but it seemed like one of them was hurt now. For a moment you thought you could see red on his hoof. "We don't like, What we don't understand, In fact it scares us, And this monster is mysterious at least." They all sang as they drove all of you closer and closer together until you practically touching. "Bring your guns! Bring your knives! Beat the stallions and their wives, We'll end this silly and survive, We'll kill the Beast!" One pony tried to make a break for it and run right through the tear gas, but when she tried, several loud "BANG!" noises rang out right in front of her the moment she touched the edge of the tear gas. Suddenly, before she could even take a step back, another "BANG!" noise ran out, and something hit her right in her right forehoof. Then, suddenly, several more guards walked out from behind the cloud of tear gas, all wearing gas masks, and one of them punched the mare right in the face, knocking her to the ground in front of them. With some struggling, she scurried back to her feet before running back into the crowd. From all around you, more guards began walking through the tear gas. When they got through so you could see them, they all took off their gas masks and joined in in the sining. "Cut down a tree, and make it a big one!" The colonel shouted in front of you as he smacked another pony across the face with his riding crop. "Take whatever booty you can find. But remember, the Beast is MINE!" The colonel shouted at the top of his lungs as he stood up on his rear hooves and threw his right hoof, and by extension his riding crop, forward into the crowd, and pointed right at you.... "Hearts ablaze," Pinkie Pie sang from somewhere close to you. "Banners high," Berry Punch chimed in from somewhere too. "We can't go marching into battle," Ghost Sombra chimed in, seeming genuinely worried for you in particular...... Even though.... you refuse to acknowledge him.... you're..... you're.... WAIT HE DOESN'T EXIST! WHO ARE YOU KIDDING!? We're afraid, and the danger's just increased!!!! Practically everypony around you sang. "Raise the flag! Sing the song!" The guard's all sang as they moved in to surround all of you. "Here we come, we're hundreds strong, And a hundred guards can't be wrong!" Then, that was it. There was nowhere any of you could run now. "Let's kill the Beast!" They all shouted a they all pointed their sticks at all of you. At that, everypony backed up into each other as far as they could, but it wasn't enough... "Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast Kill the Beast!" They all chanted as they stood at attention, waiting for the order. This.... this was wrong.... All wrong..... VERY WRONG..... Who were these ponies? They weren't guards? Guards weren't supposed to act like this!!! They're supposed to be kind, understanding, they're supposed to protect the ponies and uphold Equestrian law, not shoot on ponies because they're doing things they don't like and use fear to make them submit. They... They............. WHO WERE THESE PONIES!? WHOEVER THEY WERE! THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT GUARDS!!!! In front of you, you look ahead to see The Colonel again, his gaze affixed right on you, and unblinking. His left hoof is raised, and he, nor anypony needed to say anything, but you knew.... You just knew that the second he put that hoof down.... that.... that..... How could Princess Celestia ever allow this? Kiro intends to make a comment with a pop culture reference, but doesn't because he it out of ideas. Then, suddenly, from seemingly out of nowhere, another loud "BANG!" noise sounded. Then, everypony, including The Colonel and the guards looked to see it coming from somewhere in the middle of the crowd. Instantaneously, they all looked up to see..... something..... small..... one of you could really tell what it was... fly up into the sky, arc over all of you, and then.... fall back to the ground. You don't know why you didn't even realize it at first, and when you did, your eyes went so wide you could swear they were gonna burst out of your skull, but the thing in the sky, it was one of those explosive gas canisters that all of the guard's were firing at the crowd from their sticks, and it was coming down.... right... on... where.... you.... were.... Then, suddenly, the explosive gas canister landed right on The Colonel's head with a "Thud" before bouncing off and landing harmlessly on the ground. Apparently it was a dud. "OW!" The colonel shouted as he brought a hoof to his head. The instant that happened, all of the guards stood with their sticks drawn at the crowd, ready for anything. "S***!!!" A distinctly stallion like voice.... very stallion like voice shouted from somewhere in the crowd. The next thing you knew, some pony ran right past you with the speed of... well for running speed, he was pretty flipping fast, and what was an adjective you don't use. Anyway, he ran right past you and several ponies, right at the colonel, then whacked the colonel right in the head with the end of one of those black sticks. You didn't see who it was at first, but when you take a closer look, you see that it's that one strange pony from before, the one with a chocolate box mane and a face like a face like a bear, and that jacket that he must have picked up on Ebay. Quickly, before any of the guards, or any of you could even make a move, the pony dropped to the ground, picked up the dud gas canister, and threw it into the group of guards to his left. For some reason, it exploded this time, and since this group of guards didn't have any gas masks, they all were immediately disoriented. With that done, the jacket pony quickly turned around, and fired another gas canister into the group of guards to his right. Megaman 2 by Duane and Brando "To the windows, to the wall, 'To the sweat drips from my balls!" The strange jacket pony shouted as he fired... something, out from the end of the black stick at the remaining guards he could see before three more surrounded him. "I'm beatin' ya down to the f***in' ground. I got a hoof cannon for y'all, cmon!" He sand as he whacked one of them across the helmet with his gun, shot the one to his left, and then got behind the last one as they tried to shoot him, effectively making them shoot their own guard. With that done, he then pushed the guard at them and shot at both of them before running down the street of Ponyville. As he did that, SEVERAL of the guards abandoned their post surrounding the crowd of ponies you were in and immediately chased after this strange pony. Who was that pony? Seriously? If the looks of the ponies around you were any indication, none of them knew who he was either. Notice some dried green blood. Become EXTREMELY paranoid. Then, as you look back to where he was, you notice the bodies of the three guards he just killed. He.... just killed..... three.... guards...... He didn't even care, he just killed them, and now their green blood was falling from the holes in their corpses and....... WAIT WHAT!? Highway to Hell by AC/DC Then, suddenly, before you could even properly notice something that might have been an important thing to know for future events, Vinyl Scratch's remaining speaker suddenly came back on again. How it was still working was beyond you, especially with all that was going on, but oh well. It was on again, though this time it was playing a VERY different song. The moment this song hit everypony's ears. They all looked back at the guards, only to see that only about half of the guards surrounding them were still there. They weren't even surrounding them anymore, it was more of a half circle. They weren't even attempting to move. Seriously, what was with these guards. Anyway, everypony looked back at all the guards, and the longer they looked, the angrier they all got. Then they all turned to face the remaining guard's and started marching toward them. "We're on the highway to hell!" Everypony sang as they all marched towards the remaining guards, the anger in their faces slowly become PURE RAGE with every step. "On the highway to hell, Highway to hell!" Then, at that, when they reached the guard's one of them grabbed one of their sticks from them and whacked them across the helmet with it. At that, you're calling it done. With everypony distracted, you use this opportunity to quietly slip away. We're on the highway to hell!" They all shouted as they began to fight back against the guards. Miraculously, not a single guard fired their weapon. Where they still waiting for the order? Were they really afraid of these ponies? Did they not have the spines necessary to fire? Whatever it was, they weren't doing it. "Highway to hell, We're on the highway to hell!" They all continued to sing as they all beat the crap out of the guards. "Highway to hell!" You heard them all chant as you..... very quickly now, got away from them. "Highway to hell, "Highway to hell, "Highway to hell, "Highway to hell!" Then, with that, you decided that it would be best if for now, you just walked into the nearest building and waited this out. So you did, you walked into the nearest building you could find, which happened to be the Ponyville Hospital. "And I'm goin' down...." Ghost Sombra didn't sing to you as you walked through the front door. "Allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way, "WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I'm on the highway to hell." And with that, there was silence. That was it. ... ... ... ... ... ... F***ING FINALLY!!!!!! It was at that point that you noticed that Spike was right next to you again. "SPIKE!!!" You shouted at the top of your lungs as you threw your hooves around him again. Thank Celestia he's all right, you were SO WORRIED about him. Ghost Sombra, you've noticed how much she's been hugging on Spike, so obviously she constantly needs affection, so wrap yourself around her in the most embarrassing way possible and don't let go. Tell her: "you look a lot like another mare I used to know from this position...who was it again?...Oh yeah! YOUR MOTHER!" As you do this though, you suddenly feel something else wrap around your neck, and no it's not Spike's claws. Upon inspection, you don't see Ghost Sombra trying to wrap his ghost like form around your in a hug like fashion, only to realize that he's too short so he keeps slithering around you like a snake. First around your neck, then down your back, then your leg, then all of those in reverse again. "You know," he doesn't say as he slithers along your head and stands on top of you. "You look a lot like another mare I used to know from this position. Who was it again?" He paused for a moment and didn't bring the end of his ghostly tail to the end of his ghostly chin in though. "Oh yeah! YOUR MOTHER!!!!!" Okay.................. Anyway, with the hug out of the way, time to get serious..... SUPER SERIOUS. You pull away from Spike as you break the hug, but still keep your forehooves on his shoulders. "Where were you young man?" you say to him in a stern tone with the most stern look on your face that you can muster. "Do you have any idea how worried I wa-" "I was right here," he replies before you can even finish. "Don't talk back to me, young man!" you say, again, very sternly, to him. "You-" "No, really," Spike says before you can even get another word out.... again.... "I was right next to you the whole time." "You know he was," Ghost Sombra says right into your ear at that. "I should know, I mean I was watching him cause, you know, you obviously weren't." Celestia..... if you could tell Ghost Sombra to shut up right now...... you would...... if you weren't with Spike right now..... or in public..... and if he existed..... which he doesn't...... "Seriously, how did you not notice me?" Spike asks you. You open your mouth to respond, but as you do, all the memories of everything that happened come flooding back to you. Well, most of them anyway... Some of them..... Okay, only a few of them, but only the important ones...... Well, important for right now anyway... With that, you realize that as much as you want to be stern with Spike right now, the last thing you want right now is to show everypony that you're insane, which you're not, you were never insane, but they probably all still think you are, and it hasn't been that long...... Yeah.... So with all that in mind, you keep your mouth shut. "Oh look, we're here," Spike says right as you finish that though, as if it were somehow perfectly timed. At that, you let go of him and look around. The two of you are standing in the front lobby of Ponyville Hospital. For a moment you forgot where you were. "We're here?" you say in confusion. "Spike, this is the hospital." "Yeah, I know," Spike responds as he walks past you right up to the front desk. At that, several realizations come across you at once. If he was deliberately leading you to the hospital, then that could only mean a few things, and none of them were things you even wanted to think about right now, and it really freaked you out. No, really, you were worried as tartarus right now. What if he was seriously hurt, or.... or....... Or it could probably be nothing, he probably just got a scratch is all. Yeah, that's it, a scratch, and maybe it somehow got infected, that's why he's here, cause- "Ah, Spike," Nurse Redheart says with a bit of chipperness in her voice as she saw Spike walking up to the front desk. "Hey, Nurse Redheart," he politely replies. "You here to see Jason?" she asks as she grabs a clipboard from behind the desk. "Yeah," Spike replies as he takes it and starts scribbling on it. As he does that, Nurse Redheart looks past him right at you. "Oh, hey Twilight, good to see you again," she says to you with her usual politeness. It takes a moment for you to respond, too many thoughts were flowing through your head right now. "Wha," you respond the moment you realize that she was speaking to you. "Oh, yes, hello Nurse Redheart." At that, she walks around the front desk out to see you. "How are you feeling?" she asks as she walks right up to you. In the back of your mind, you can think of a million real reasons why she asked that, but keep them back there and just respond politely. "I'm fine," you say to her. "I'm all right, never better." "Ha!, that's a laugh," Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you. "I... I heard about what happened," you add. "That's actually why I'm here." "Oh, yes, that..." Nurse Redheart responds, almost as if she's pretending that it somehow didn't happen, which you can't entirely blame her for. "I'm just glad that hardly anypony got seriously hurt. I mean, other than Ja-" Before she could even finish that sentence, Spike quickly reached up and grabbed her shoulder, which caused her to break her attention from you down at him. The look he was giving her was.... unreadable. Upon seeing that, all the of her usual cheerfulness slowly drained from her face. She then looked back at you, and then back at Spike, and then back to you again. "I see..." she says as she turns her attention back to Spike. "She still doesn't know does she?" "Know what?" you asked, now with genuine concern. Both Nurse Redheart and Spike only responded with silence. The longer the silence went on, the longer the message started to sink in for you, and the realizations you made earlier started to feel a bit heavier. You were in a hospital.... there was a riot... and.... "Where is Jason?" you ask, now with genuine concern. "Is he here? Is he all-" "Yes," Nurse Redheart replied before you could finish. "Yes, he's here. As far as your second question. Well...." Before she could say anymore, she stopped herself, as if she didn't want to say anymore. As she did, Spike handed her back the clipboard, which she took from him. As she did that, she looked at him for a moment, then back to you. "I... I think it's better if you see for yourself." Then with that, she turned around and started leading both you and Spike deeper into the hospital. You always felt uneasy around hospitals. Not because hospitals were filled with sick and injured ponies, that wasn't it at all. It was just when somepony... or in this case... some...human... you knew was in a hospital, then they made you feel uneasy. That wasn't so much the hospital itself as genuine concern for a friend, but the fact that you were in a hospital made you feel more uneasy than you otherwise would be if one of your friends were injured and they were say, resting at their home or at a friend's home, or in the case of the crusaders, at their treehouse. But yes, hospitals made you feel uneasy. None of you said anything as you walked through the hospital, and thank Celestia, you didn't walk into the Intensive Care unit. At least you could rest knowing he wasn't THAT badly injured... or was he...? The more you walked through the hospital, the more ponies you saw, some were asleep, some were awake in their beds doing whatever they could with a broken limb. You couldn't help but wonder if any of these ponies got those from the riot. You... You weren't about to ask though. Anyway, as Nurse Redheart led you and Spike through the hospital, you eventually came to a room on the corner where- "I'm your sexy horse god of love! Come down from far up above!" Wait, what!? That.... that voice startled all of you... to say the least. Wait a second, that voice, was that? Slowly, slowly enough to as not even a bee would have noticed any of you move, the three of you sneaked up to the last door at the end of the hallway. It was already open so you didn't have to worry about that. Anyway, the three of you sneaked up to it, all poked your heads around the corner, and saw.... Rarity.... Dancing.... in a rather.... provocative manner... around a patient's bed. "Mortal human don't you be scared! To let your lovin' be shared!" She sang as she crawled up on the bed like she were crawling to- Wait, SHOULD SPIKE EVEN BE SEEING THIS!? "I'm working on my twerking, My libido's always lurking! 'Cause you're just such a handsome monkey, and this feeling can't be phony." "I will take you out to dinner, Make you feel like such a winner, And before the night is over, make you feel like such a sinner!" Oh deer sweet Merciful Celestia what is she doing? "Kinky," Ghost Sombra didn't say as he didn't watch her dance. You didn't even notice it at first, but she was apparently so distracted in her singing to... whoever was in the bed, that you all just stopped hiding and were all standing at the foot of the doorway just watching her. She didn't even notice any of you as she crawled all around the bed and kept dancing. "Any manner make out doesn't matter to me baby, I can flex to meet your feelings any thing to get you raving, On a plane, on a train, in Spain in the rain, I can cater to the cravings that a body never named!" "So I'm working on my twerking, Just to get your body jerking, So sidle up your saddle, while I go and fetch the paddle." "Gotta give into your feelings, Don't you dither with my dealings, Ain't no grading for my love, 'Cause I'll fit you like a glove." "Lead or you can follow, do whatever you can swallow! Tell it to your friends, everypony shake your ends." "Tonight's about the meaning, of the body-rocking being, Cause' there ain't no lasting limits, Any place that you can visit." "Just have at with your hair, Move your rump to the snare!" And at that.... she promptly started shaking her rump. "Now work your twerking! Now work your twerking! Throw that modesty out!" "Just have at with your hair, Move your rump to the snare! "Now work your twerking! Now work your twerking! Throw that modesty out!" Then, at that, she crawled up to the edge of the bed again and threw a hoof to her head in that dramatic ways she does, as if she were somehow begging for something. She also did it in such a way so that you STILL could not see who was in the bed. Though you did notice that it was a very large bed. "Give your body up, I'm here to blow your mind! Get that body working, baby! Get that body working, baby!" "Give your body up, I'm here to blow your mind! Get that body working, baby! Get that body working, baby! "I'm your sexy horse god of love! Come down from far up above!" And at that, she jumped off of the bed again and started dancing... again... Surprisingly, Spike wasn't even mad at this. You're not sure why. "Mortal human don't you be scared! To let your lovin' be sha-!" Then, at that, she suddenly spins around, and looks right at the three of you, and the second she does look right at the three of you, she immediately stops mid-dance, as if she were hit with an insta-freeze ray. Oh, and her face is redder than Big Macintosh's right now of course. Surprisingly, Spike still wasn't even mad. Then, suddenly, Rarity's insta-freezeness was broken when she fell back to her hooves and coughed into her hoof a little bit. "Um.... let me guess...." she said with obvious nervousness. "You saw everything didn't you?" "Yeah," Spike responded. "Yeah we did." STILL HE WASN'T EVEN MAD! "Oh... um.... Well, since you're here, I-" Rarity tried to say, albeit with a lot of stuttering, but before she could finish, she then saw you standing there. "Twilight!" she practically shouted with excitement. "You're ba-!" You.... you didn't even hear a single word she said, because the moment she moved, you saw who was in the bed. The only bed that occupied that his corner room of the hospital, the bed that was to large for a pony... You saw him.... Like you weren't even in control of your own actions, you walked right past Rarity right up to him. To him.... It was him. Just as you remembered him. The human you summoned here from another world, another universe... lying in the bed, and he wasn't moving. He wasn't moving, he was.... he was.... "Is.....-" was all you could let out, but before you could say anything else, Nurse Redheart chimed in as she walked right up next to you, but you didn't even notice her, because your eyes were fixed on him.... On the human... Jason. "He's all right," she said to you. "He's just unconscious." You heard her, but at the same time, you didn't.... It was as if it might as well have been your brother, Shining Armor, telling you this. "After the riot ended," Nurse Redheart... or was it even Nurse Redheart, continued. "We found in somepony's house several yards away, somehow he was knocked right through the wall." You... you didn't even... "He's a hero, you know," she continued. "When the riot started, and the guards started attacking the ponies, he fought back against them. Every single guard there, he fought them all off with...." the voice that was Nurse Redheart's paused, as if she didn't know what to say. "He fought back against them all. I dare say that the only reason that half of Ponyville isn't here right now is because of him. Your friends, everypony, they're all in his debt." "It's true, Twilight," the voice of Rarity said as she walked over and put a hoof on your shoulder, but you didn't notice it. Was there a hoof on your shoulder? You didn't know... "He protected us all. If it weren't for him, we'd all be here instead." That...... that............. He...... he protected your friends........ probably protected Spike too...... protected everypony in Ponyville..... He...... He..... "We've all been taking turns watching over him since the riot ended," Spike said..... of course he did... as he joined you. "That was two days ago, but he hasn't woken up yet." He.... "But you should have seen him, Twilight! The damage he did, Celestia this guy can kick some flank! I'm just glad he's still alive." He..... he did protect Spike........ Suddenly, the area underneath your eyes felt wetter than they did a few seconds ago. "Um..." Rarity's voice suddenly said. "I think it's best if we...." "Yeah," Nurse Redheart said. "Probably." "Spike," Rarity said to him. "Come come." Spike didn't say anything at that. You didn't look, but you heard them, you heard the hoofsteps of Rarity, Nurse Redheart and Spike all leaving the room, and then once they were gone, they closed the door behind you, leaving you..... for probably the first time since you brought him here..... alone with the human.... with Jason.... A tear fell from your face onto the edge of the bed, shortly followed by another, and then another, and then another... What do you do? -Side Story- Sorry, no side story today. I'm not doing anything with you guys until you nut up and start cooperating and planning your next move. So yeah, you guys might wanna get moving on that. Oh, and GordonFreebrony, if you happen to be reading this, yes I am waiting for you to come back and start commenting again. I know you're out there, but I really need you to not be MIA for this. So yeah... -Game of Twits- New York – New Year’s Eve at Dorsia Host: Good evening, sir, do you have a (BANG) DXIV: Wait here. If anyone of Bateman’s coworkers tries to leave, gun them down. Fran and Glados: Yes, sir. DXIV: (enters the restaurant and walks through the crowd towards the back of the building) Security Guard: Hey, you can’t come back (BANG) DXIV: Yes, I can. (enters the room where the musical equipment is placed wherein Daedaltheus places a single cd loaded with one song over and over again) All right, that should take care of that. (exits the room) Bryce: Hey, Daedalus, long time no see. DXIV: Daedaltheus, and yeah, haven’t been here in a few months. McDermott: Yeah, can you believe that we all got reservations at Dorsia? DXIV: Yes, I can. (smiles) Bryce: But we were talking about partying and I was hoping you might help us answer a question. McDermott: I’m just saying that when you party, you should take it slow and easy. DXIV: Don’t you fucking dare… Bryce: I say that when it’s time to party, we will party hard. (music kicks in over the speakers) DXIV: GOD DAMMIT! (draws the LAPD 2019 Blaster and blows Bryce’s and McDermott’s head clean off) Enters the main room of the restaurant holding a sawed-off shotgun and the blaster. Courtney: Oh my god, is that you Dietrich? DXIV: DAEADLTHEUS! (BANG) FINKS! ALL OF YOU FINKS! Crowd: (screams) DXIV: DON’T RUN! (BANG) - Meanwhile outside of Dorsia- Bateman: I am me and so much more! Bateman: Every pleasure is a bore! Bateman: I am something other than, a common man! I am not a common man! Bateman: I can’t believe that I actually got a reservation at Dorsia. Luis is going to be so jealous. Caroline: Hello, and welcome to Dorsia. Do you have a reservation? Bateman: Yes, I do. Patrick Bateman at nine o’clock. Caroline: Oh, yes right there, please seat yourself. Bateman: Thank you. (pauses) Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Caroline: I find music to be an interesting experience but has severe limitations. Bateman: Okay then… (walks through a short hallway) ALL RIGHT, FINALLY GOT INTO DORSIA! Bateman enters the room only to find his coworkers and few, well what one could call friends of Patrick Bateman, laid out on the floor, walls, and ceiling, dripping with gore. DXIV: (sitting at the bar with a cigarette hanging from his mouth) Evening, Bateman. Bateman: Did…did you do this? DXIV: Yeah, yeah, needed to do something that would get your attention. Burned your office building down, desecrated your apartment, and a few other things that might make you angry. Bateman: I WANTED TO KILL ALL OF THEM! DXIV: (takes a long drag) And I beat you to it (exhales) so this is where we are now. Bateman: Yes it is (twists his pocket watch and an axe emerges in his hand) and I take it that you want me dead, correct? DXIV: Well, considering that you want me dead and want me to fuck my girlfriend, of course. Bateman: You know that this is treason. DXIV: Of course. Bateman: Pick your weapon. DXIV: (draws a bowie knife) Already did. Bateman swings his axe, catching the stool Daedaltheus is sitting on, causing him to jump off to the side, stabbing at Bateman. Bateman turns into the attack and hits Daedaltheus in the face with his elbow, knocking him back into the bar. Bateman swings his axe, catching the bar as Daedaltheus rolls out of the away and swipes at Bateman, but he slides back and then swings his axe again, catching Daedaltheus in the side. Bateman: You are no match for a seasoned war veteran. DXIV: You tend to forget (grabbing the axe and twisting the handle) I am too. (snaps the handle in half) Bateman: Jesus fuck! DXIV: You also forget (kicks Bateman in the chest into several table behind him, snapping his sternum in twain) I am a god with a god complex. I am a literal walking psychopath that lives solely for my own benefit and gain. Bateman: What about Integra (coughs) and the damned ponies? DXIV: (grabs his shirt collar and drags him into the alleyway behind Dorsia) Hey, I might be evil but I have a sense of justice. (throws him against a wall, breaking his spine) By the way, I mailed your tapes to the cops so they know about all of the sick shit you do for kicks and I also sent a copy to your secretary Jean, so good luck with that. Bateman: Fuck you. DXIV: (draws the knife) THIS (stab) IS (stab) WHAT (stab) YOU (stab) GET (stab) WHEN (stab) YOU (stab) FUCK (stab) WITH (stab) ME! Bateman: (coughs up blood as blue and red police lights fill the night air) DXIV: Wow that was cathartic. (looks down at the bleeding Bateman) I can understand why you do it but for me it’s all business and very little pleasure. (runs a bloodstained hand through his hair and takes a deep breath) You know maybe I’ll get into the whole musical experience. Police Officer 1: Holy shit, is that Pat Bateman. Police Officer 2: Looks like him, but who is that guy standing over him. DXIV: No need for alarm officers, just taking care of some business. Police Officer 1: Ah, shit it’s that Daedaltheus fucker. DXIV: Don qua? Police Officer 2: Yeah, Bateman warned us about you, asshole. DXIV: So, I take it that you work for him, then. Police Officer 1: Damn skippy. DXIV: Look, it’s all one big misunderstanding (steps towards the officers as several DOZEN more officers loyal to Patrick Bateman arrive) Oh piss. Police Officer 2: STOP! Female Officer: In the name of love! Female Officer 2: Before you break my heart! DXIV: Fucking really! Police Officer 3-119: LOOK OUT HE’S GOT A CHAINSAW! DXIV: It’s a knife. Officers: (fire for several minutes, each hitting Daedaltheus) DXIV: Ow. - Meanwhile in the Waiting Room of Dorsia – Fran: How’s he look? Glados: Like blood soaked Swiss cheese. Fran: Ew! Glados: And the officers are now singing stop in the name of love while they pick his body up and are loading him into the back of a SWAT car. Fran: Bateman’s got SWAT connections? Glados: Apparently so, which means that’s where we’ve got to go to in order to get our boss back. Fran: Yay. I love cops. Glados: They make poor test subjects. The pair sneaks out the back door past a bloodstain they assume once belonged to Patrick Bateman when Glados stopped and looked down the back of the alleyway, looking towards a strange woman wearing a frilly violet dress with dark purple hair and a single pink and violet stripe running through it. She looked towards the automaton Glados before turning the corner and vanishing into the night air. Fran: Something wrong, Glados? Glados: Nothing, just an error. The pair walk to a 1973 XB GT Ford Falcon Coupe with a nitro injected supercharger, painted black and more than likely not legal in the United States, and begin to follow the SWAT van as it speeds off into the night. Fran: Aren’t you worried about him? Glados: Nah, he’s been through much worse. He once tried Peyote while trying to rob a train with Razor in 1879 crossing the New Mexico-Colorado border. Woke up in San Francisco two weeks later with no recollection of what happened and a warrant out for his arrest. Fran: Glados… Glados: Apparently, he entered some kind of gun slinging tournament in Wyoming… Fran: Glados… um, Glados… Glados: They never found the bodies of the thirty-six other contestants and supposedly he lit fire to a church claiming that real gods were coming to kill them all… Fran: Glados…Glados…Glados… Glados: The train, now that he just rode until the end of the line, where it picked up speed until it reach absurd velocity and wham, right through the station and into the rail yard causing one chain reaction after another… Fran: Glados… Glados: And the Texas Rangers with their heads strung together in conga-line fashion with their bodies hanging from every ledge he could find in Sacramento… Fran: CAROLINE JOHNSON! Glados: What? Fran: (points) Is that normal? The SWAT van is on fire with various members of Bateman’s loyal police force jumping out of while as the roof flies off. DXIV: (standing in the burning van) CROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE OF ASGARD! (lighting strikes a police car) WHERE THE BOOMING HEAVENS ROAR! (lighting strikes an officer as he is impacted by a pipe wrench) YOU’LL BEHOLD IN BREATHLESS WONDER! (the van collides with another car as the two vehicles crash into the police station, starting a rather substantial fire) Police Officer: (runs from the fire) We need everyone down here right now! DXIV: (he walks from the fire) THE GOD OF THUNDER! (swings a pipe wrench and as it collides, lighting strikes the officer) MIGHTY THOR! Glados: What the hell is that? (pulling up alongside the singing lunatic) DXIV: My 48 inch pipe wrench imbued with a lighting plasmid, made in the underwater city of Rapture or as I like to call it: THE PIPE WRENCH OF THOR! Glados: No, the blimp above us with the Red logo on it? DXIV: (looks) Swan making an entrance. Fran: I take it that that’s our cue to boogie? DXIV: Damn straight! Daedaltheus enters the car and the trio drives into a portal back to the New York City that shares the same universe as that of the Bunker. The Brown Dog stands before the President of DC during a business council. He holds a Salmon in his paw and keeps hitting him upside the head with it while everyone else looks on in shock and confusion. The President is knocked out. BD: And that’s for the New 52 (Whack) and that’s for casting Ben Affleck as Batman! (whack) and that’s for rushing for the Justice League movie to catch up with Marvel instead of taking your time and making sure your movies don’t suck! DC Employee: Ummm… BD: (whips around and points fish at him) The fuck you just say to me?! DCE: I…just wanted to say that this isn’t DC Comics BD: Huh? Bullshit, the sign out front said DC DCE: Yes, but this is the DC Shoe Company The Brown Dog looks around at all the charts and figures and posters. Sure enough, it’s all about shoes. BD: Oh…my bad. Well why didn’t anyone speak up sooner? Cortana: I did! I kept telling you we were at the wrong place! But you kept shouting “Fish Justice!” BD: Well you know how passionate I get! Cortana: You’re not passionate, you’re insane! BD: One does not negate the other, in fact they go hand in hand. The employees just look at the Brown Dog in fear as he seemingly argues with himself. When suddenly they all jump up on the table and start singing. DCE: These boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you! BD: Da Fuck? The Employees keep singing and dancing. BD: Someone started a musical number and I didn’t get the invite? How rude. Cortana: Musical numbers don’t just happen in this universe, we gotta investigate this. BD: And why would I do that? Cortana starts to explain before suddenly seizing up. Music starts playing and she begins to sing. Cortana: We gonna rock down to electric avenue, and then we take it higher?! BD: Oh great you too? Cortana: Who is to blame in one country? Never can get to the one! BD: I’ll take that as a yes…(Push’s mute on Cortana) The Brown Dog looks out the window and sees countless people dancing and singing in the streets. He scowls. BD: Oh sure, the whole Multiverse decides to sing and have fun without me? Hmmph, I’ll show them, I’ll show them all. (Smiles Evily) The Employees then stop singing and dancing and look back at the Brown Dog again. DCE: What did you do to us? BD: Nothing besides a little fish trauma DCE: No, you did this, you must have. The news had a story on you some time ago. BD: (Smirks as music starts playing) Let me tell you something buddy. (Get’s in the guy’s face as he starts dancing) Well I don’t know what they’re talking about, I’m making my own decisions. This new thing I’ve found ain’t gonna bring me down, I’m like a junky without an addiction (Looks down at the Molotov Cocktail in his hands before smiling at the guy and throwing the bottle behind him where it blows up causing a woman to scream, he appears in front of her and gives her a flower) BD: Mama don’t cry, I just want a stay high, like playing with danger or fear (Everyone runs towards the exit away from him and the fire) Everybody’s Walking, But Nobody’s talking It looks a lot better from here (Bursts out the doors of the raging inferno and into the chaos of the countless singing people in the streets) BD: All my life I’ve been over the top, I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is, I don’t wanna stop! All fired up I’m gonna go till I drop, you’re either in or in the way, don’t make me, I don’t wanna stop! The Brown Dog goes through the countless singing people in several different dimensions and ruining their music numbers, montage style. He creates an ice sheet under a group singing Beat it, causing them to slip, he punches a group singing “Hit me with your best shot” in the face, destroys every major road in his way so that those singing “Dancing in the street” have nowhere to dance, and he sends anyone doing the Harlem Shake into the phantom zone They all glare at the Brown Dog before joining in on other songs that they can partake in. The Brown Dog just sighs and shakes his head BD: Why don’t they ever listen to me, it’s just a one way conversation? Nothing they say is gonna set me free, don’t need no mental masturbation. (He teleports into the God of War Universe and sees Zues and the others singing “Staying Alive”) Too many religions for only one god, I don’t need another savior (Snaps his paws and Kratos appears and slaughters them all while singing “Symphony of Destruction”. Brown Dog then appears in front of a bunch of cops singing “Bad Boys”) Don’t try to change my mind, you know I’m one of a kind (changes all their uniforms into ballerina tutus causing them to start singing Dancing Queen) Ain’t gonna change my bad behavior (Smirks and then proceeds to pie a bunch of stoners singing Bob Marley songs in the face) BD: All my life I’ve been over the top, I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is, I don’t wanna stop! All fired up I’m gonna go till I drop, you’re either in or in the way, don’t make me, I don’t wanna stop! (He then goes about interrupting every musical number he sees by tear gassing the crowds and tasering those who keep singing) All my life I’ve been over the top, I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is, I don’t wanna stop! All fired up I’m gonna go till I drop, you’re either in or in the way, don’t make me, I don’t wanna stop! With that he stops singing and looks at exactly what he has done. It’s not exactly the destruction levels he caused during St. Patrick’s Day in that other universe, but it still is beautiful. He then notices Cortana silently screaming at him in his HUD so he unmutes her. BD: Hey what’s up? Cortana: The hell did you just do? BD: Humanitarian work Cortana: Be serious BD: Hey I only caused one fire! Cortana: Ugh… BD: Well excuse me, the musical number demanded I do it…speaking of which, Why the hell was I singing? Why was everyone singing? Cortana: I don’t know! I couldn’t stop either. It’s like some force compelled me to. Something fishy is going on here CSI Miami Theme: YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Cortana: Oh Come On! BD: Ha, because I was slapping people with a fish. So wait, something out there caused me to do a music number against my will? Cortana: It seems that way, and we went through quite a few universes. This is happening everywhere. BD: Damn it! Why didn’t I think of that? (Scowls) Someone beat me to it! And they didn’t make me apart of their scheme! They’ve dicked with the wrong dog! Cortana: Does that mean you’ll look into this? BD: Hell ya, I gotta figure out how this was done. I mean, I know how I would’ve done it, but as far as I know I still have that little Magoffin Cortana: And what is that? BD: It’s a little thing called mind your own bee’s wax, but still, whoever or whatever did this has great power, and I must friend them on Facebook! Cortana: Well with something this big, I don’t know how we can track the source. BD: I do, but it requires me to empty my mind in a place of tranquility. Cortana: Emptying your mind shouldn’t be that hard. BD: Ha ha ha…it’s true (Freezes up) Cortana: What’s wrong? BD: My Rarity Whoreness Sense just went off Cortana: …I’m sorry, your what? BD: My Rarity Whoreness Sense, apparently she’s being slutty again Cortana: How is that even a thing? BD: (Ignores her) Well, looks like it’s time for the Brown Dog of Forced Abstinence to pay a visit He smiles and chuckles evily before teleporting away, as is his custom Meanwhile in the Brown Dog’s Secret Prison Michael Bay starts singing and dancing with the Disco Ostriches. MB: ‘Cause I’m TNT! I’m Dynamite! TNT! And I’ll win the fight! TNT! I’m the Power Load! TNT! WATCH ME EXPLOOOOOODDDEEE!!!!! George Lucas is singing as well GL: No I didn’t have to make them blow! What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know?! Tommy Wiseau is singing in Dubstep And Caine is singing, What else? Caine: YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!